First, let me state that I am more than slightly disappointed by the response to my previous blog. I posted here in the hopes of possibly finding someone who might be interested in sharing a home - someone who could perhaps benefit from my situation by the fact that I truly don’t need them to contribute financially and they would be able to share a nice home without it becoming a major financial burden. My take away from this would be that it would help to prevent me from falling into the trap of enforced solitude that I have known before. Nothing more, nothing less.

Instead what I got was a bunch of amateur psychoanalysis, questions about my integrity as a spouse and as a person, and a pile of legal and social bickering.

Second, let me state unequivocally that my personal and financial relationship with my spouse is no one else’s business. I am easily well off enough financially that most of your petty little questions are trivial; but furthermore, whatever happens in the future of our relationship she is the one and only love of my life. I am wholly monogamous, and will be to the day I die - whether she feels that way or not is her choice, but I have given myself wholly to the only person I have ever loved.

Through no fault of hers, our relationship has changed. I was prepared for that possibility when I first made the decision to transition. A decision which I made with her knowledge I might add. In fact, she actually talked me into stopping once, but after about a year I realized that I simply couldn’t go on being someone who wasn’t me. When I told her this, she immediately went to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. Four days later she told him to tear everything up as she realized that no matter what I was the same person she fell in love with.

I knew that the statistics said we had a less than 4% chance of making it - but 4% was better than the 100% chance of me eating a .45 caliber round if I kept on the way I was. Do the math....... 4% beats 0% on any day of the week.

I have been lucky enough to be part of that 4%. But it has become obvious to me that whether she wants to admit or not, she needs someone other than me and I am deluding myself by thinking that will change. Yes, I knew our relationship would change. I also know that for me it has not, and never will. I am deluding myself to think that things will get better - to her, I will never be more than a girlfriend who lives in the same house. And it gets worse as time goes by. She never kisses me anymore. Where I used to always get a kiss when I came home, or whenever I did something special for her, or simply did something to help her - now I get none. And she is beginning to turn away when I kiss her. How long until I am no longer welcome in my own bed? How long until I find some piece of male clothing that doesn’t belong to one of my sons? I care not to find out.

As for our financial arrangements, well, besides the fact that it is none of your business, I was raised to take care not only of my obligations, but moreso of my family. And I can easily afford to do so.

And as to the comment about being away for work, I spent years in the US Navy away from home for months at a time. A fact she knew when we wed, and a fact she was proud of. When I left active service, I took a job which required about 75% travel, and we dealt with it - for years without any issues. We have worked through those issues, and she has benefitted not only from the income it has provided us, but also the many perks as well.

And in answer to the comment regarding whether my wife works, the answer is yes. She has a very good job.

At this point I can only reiterate my disappointment at the way some of the people here have treated me. I have read comments from many of my friends here in the past which alluded to this, but this is the first time I have seen it first hand. To say I am disgusted is an understatement. I have always thought of this site as a place I could find friendship and support. Support from those few who understood what it is to be different, to be apart from the majority. Perhaps I was mistaken.