Turmoil in progress.....

A word from our sponsor:

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Things in my life are a mess and I feel like things just keep adding up. It seems like everything I do just makes things worse. I’m losing everyone that ever cared about me and I’m not too sure how much more I have to endure before things settle. First I lost the one person on here who would even talk to me. Then I lose my husband who decided to cheat on me. Now I’m losing my family because they think I don’t deserve them anymore. I’ve had to move into an apartment with just me and my kids. It’s just awful, my life is just falling apart on me and I just have nothing left. I’ve got a job and my kids are in school but I feel like things could get worse at any moment and I wouldn’t find out until I get notice from some given place. All my writing has been put on hold indefinitely as I have absolutely no time to write and I have enough to deal with right now. Sigh....

Pray for me everyone. I just hope I can finally settle down and not have anymore problems......

Comments

not that bad

Hey, things aren't that bad. First, you have your kids.Yes, they are in school, but how are they doing? Are their grades OK? Are they on drugs or some other detrimental activity. If they're good kids, you are ahead of the game.

Then, you've got a job. Lot and lots of people don't have a job. You have a paycheck and you can keep a roof over your head, feed and clothe your family.

That's a win! Be thankful!

Red MacDonald

Dear Lilly

I'm sending you urgent thoughts and wishes that things turn around for you. Please love and take care of yourself and your kids as your highest priority so you and yours have the greatest energy and spirit to deal with the issues. Your true friends will stick with you, and the others ... well they are what are called 'fair weather friends'. PM if you need to talk or vent. I'm a pretty good listener.

Luck and love,

Wendy K

I Am So Sorry

No one should feel like you do.

About twenty years ago my spouse and I got up in the middle of the night and went to our hot tub.

Life was running over me. We worked out the four key problems facing us. If we could solve those four problems we would be okay.

Unfortunately, the problems were so immense that if we solved any three and not the fourth, our lives would be in tatters.

We didn't have any answers that night but just having isolated the problems helped. We went back to bed and slept about an hour before waking up and going in to work.

Within six months, we had solved every one of those "unsolvable" problems. It wasn't easy and there was some pain involved.

Today I still have problems. That's life. NONE of my problems are overwhelming.

You need to sit down and figure out exactly what your problems are. You're upset and seemingly blurring things a bit. For example, you say you lost the one person who will talk to you on BC, when that isn't even close to true. There are many, many people here who will communicate with you.

My spouse has always been faithful. . .as have I. I don't understand infidelity. It shouldn't happen but some of the finest people I've known have done it. I can't condone it -- but it happens. Everyone has to deal with that kind of thing in there own way. There was a time we tried to act as if infidelity was unforgivable. They even tried to impeach Clinton for getting a blowjob. Now we have a president who has normalized infidelity. Who would have thought that possible? You need to decide what works for you.

I'm not a good one to talk about family. I had five siblings. I get along with two of them and my sister died. I cherish the two good relationships because most people don't have that many. I haven't reached out to the other two for two years because they're toxic for me. About six months ago I had a problem with one of the brothers I like. It festered until I went to see him and in minutes we were back on firm ground. Some family is worth making an effort. Some family is toxic. You have to make the choices about that. Life is NOT a Hallmark card.

There was a time I thought I had hundreds of friends. Then crap happened. I found out that the number of true friends I had was closer to single digits. I've come to realize that anyone who has more than three 'friends' is exceptional. All the rest are acquaintances. Good acquaintances aren't bad things to have but don't be fooled by a Hollywood world where the town rallies around George Bailley. That doesn't happen very often.

This is a raw time of year. When I start feeling down because the sun isn't shining much and Christmas celebrations are wearing me to a frazzle, I re-charge by doing something for someone. They don't even have to be less fortunate.

One time I gave a multi-millionaire philanthropist a Christmas gift. He was in tears. He said it just never happened to him, even though he actually gave away $million in his syndicated column. His name was Percy Ross.

Most charitable things I prefer to do anonymously but just being nice is amazing and becoming rarer. Try telling the checkout at the grocery store that he's doing a great job. The results are almost always predictable.

I can feel like dung, but when I spend some time doing something for someone else, magic happens.

Things can get worse. And, things can get better. That's how life works. If life were perfect it would be dull . . . and that is an imperfection. Dread is a symptom of a problem. When my children (all adults) speak of personal dread I go through a checklist with them.

Are you:

Sleeping enough
Eating right
Getting Exercise
Staying away from abusive use of alcohol or drugs

I just checked your writing. You know how to tell a story. I'm sure many have felt much better after reading what you've written. That is a positive contribution to society.

I will pray for you, if you will pray for me.

You're a powerful person who can heal. . .even yourself. You're at a very rough age at 23. It does get better. I promise.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

You are in my thoughts

It's hard to add anything to Angela's wonderful words of support. But I read your words this morning Lilly and they have been on my mind all day. I just want to let you know that I (and many others) have had you in my thoughts and prayers and that by reaching out for support, you've shown the kind of strength that will serve you well. I know that it can feel overwhelming. I know that there have been times when I thought that the pain would never go away and it was hard to remember what it felt like to just feel ok. But try to look to your inner strength and continue to reach out to those who can support you. And remember that, this too shall pass.

Keleigh