I'm on the Outside

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The following is from chapter 7 of "I'm On the Outside", a side story of "To Be a Different Someone"--essentially, the storyline fom Matthew Tracker's perspective that explains the events that Jennifer does not know about.

The musical influence if from the band Staind.

IV. Suffer

“Tyler, what are you doing?”
“I just need to hold onto someone.”
“Okay, man, sure, but I can’t breathe, so ease up a bit."

Yeah, I felt a little uncomfortable with him draped around me in a bear hug, but he was my friend and according to the unofficial code of the brotherhood I was to call him out when he was being stupid and to defend him in times of need.
"Sorry."
“Ty, what’s going on man? Level with me.”
“I can’t do it anymore, Matt…can’t.”
“Do what?”
“Hide…pretend…it’s not working."

He stepped away and then sat on the concrete with such a force it almost looked like he wanted to break his legs in the attempt.

“Not following you. I want to, but it’s not--”
“I never did anything with Teresa. I lied.”
Tyler kicked at the dirt on the ground as he shuffled his feet.
“Okay, so you froze up or she was a bitch...or both. Happens.”
“I didn’t freeze. I didn’t do anything.” He said as he sat on the curb and closed his eyes.
“Not like you’re marrying her.” I replied as he put his hands to his head. I had never seen Ty show any sign of fear or confusion. He was like our James Heitfield: stoic and never taking or giving any shit.
“Matt, dude…I don’t know what to do.”
“About what?” I asked as I sat down next to him.

His eyes looked bloodshot…even though he wasn’t drunk. The guy was upset about something. He looked up and stared at something between himself and the horizon; just straight on ahead.
“You can’t tell Damon or Chris.”
“Whatever you say, right here,” I said as I pointed to the ground.
“No, I mean, seriously, if you tell them or anyone my life is fucking over, okay?”
“You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”
“No, I could get over that.”

It was hard to think of a positive spin to that. Of course then I really wanted to know what the hell was going on, because if murder was something he could get over then we had a lot more to talk about.

Tyler sighed and then looked down as he spoke.
“Remember that girl I talked about, Allie?”
“Yeah.”
"Wrong name,” he replied with another sigh,
“Allison?”
“Alex.”
“Short for Alexandria?”
“No, Alexander.”
“Oh.”

If I wanted to be the biggest dick in the world, I would have screamed something; scrambled to get to my feet; and then continue with a barrage of curses so fast it would have made Lee R. Ermey run to the corner and cower for his mommy.
"His name is Alex."
"Lewis and Clark?"
"Yep."
"Okay...so..."
"I'm gay. I'm coming out to you."
"Okay," I repeated.
"I'm waiting for that barrage of shit to come out of your mouth. Where is it?"
"Not coming." I said as I sat down.
"Seriously?"
"Your life, Ty...just don't ask me if I think he's good looking."
"He is."
"We're not going there," I replied.
"Yeah.. Yeah. Probably a good idea," he replied. "I'm just tired of the lies."
"Lies?"
"Hey, Ty, is she hot or what? I don't care about tits...I don't care for girls, I--"
"I get it. Sorry."
"Just been under stress. Can't find a place to...meet, you know?"
I had a feeling, but I didn't say anything.
"His parents kicked him out of his house and he's been...places all over downtown."
"Why not have him go to your house?"
"Tried that. They would want the whole story about him. Meet the parents..."
"Sneak him in...maybe just for a night?"
"I need to find him first."
"Then let's go find him."
"Seriously? You got a date tonight."
"Bros before...potential girlfriends, right?"
"Thanks."

Comments

As always......

D. Eden's picture

Your writing talent shines through. I would love to see the whole story.

D

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

<3

I love it. Almost how the way coming out about being transgender to my dad went. I can't wait to read more!