Author:
Blog About:
Author's Commentary on Somewhere Else Entirely: Chapters 11 to 14
These chapters have the usual typographical tweaks but there are a number of questions which arose here and others which had later implications.
Chapter 11, Morning Difficulties
At about this point I began to get worried. After all, I had written ten chapters and the plot appeared to be developing v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. While writing State I had gotten through six months in as many chapters. I spent a little time trying to make some kind of plan for the future but then decided that this was going to be one of my more substantial efforts so I could relax a bit. Little did I know...
In fact, it turns out that this single day occupies three whole chapters. I can't say that any of it is wasted.
Forks
Garia had to provide something of value that would prove that she would become important in the future. Forks seemed to be the simplest item to make to demonstrate that. At this point it still hadn't dawned on me that I'd have to deal with the whole Industrial Revolution.
Shelda and Yolda
Garia was always going to come up against entrenched custom. The fact that she was now a young shortish girl was never going to make her life easy but it was also necessary for her to understand the kind of problems she would have to overcome in the future. However, I didn't want to make this story a continuous battle against people and custom. In the future I assumed that she would eventually get to a position where she would win people over. Of course, at this point I didn't know whether she would or not.
Chapter 12, Afternoon Arrivals
Pigeonholes
This is a seemingly innocent word but one that caused me much trouble later on. It is appropriate for the word to be used in Chapter 12 as it would be familiar to Gary. However, while writing What Milsy Did I realized that of course Milsy would not know that word, and so I struggled to find a description of something that would be blindingly obvious to most educated Earth people.
Gowns and dresses
Although it is never explained aloud anywhere, I had decided that naturally servants and 'commoners' would be wearing dresses but noble ladies would be wearing gowns. It is likely that the distinction could be of name only but that was the custom I chose.
This is one of the reasons why Yolda becomes so difficult when Garia asks her for something to wear to climb the Watch Tower.
Other Lands
There is a reference to 'coastal nations'. At that time no map of Alaesia existed and I had not even named anywhere other than Palarand. I knew at this point that Palarand was at the mouth of the Sirrel (although even Garia did not know that name yet) and that there would be other nations beyond the estuary, but that was all.
Chapter 13, The Die is Cast
There is a reference to "the Dukes who ran much of Palarand". At this time I had given no thought at all to the organization of the Kingdom or even its extent. I realized that the King probably wouldn't handle much of the day-to-day decision-making himself but I had not gone beyond that. Having a hierachical tree of nobility to run things seemed appropriate.
This is the chapter where Garia discoveres that she is not, in fact, still on Earth and that she is not a time-traveler but instead on another planet. She still has no idea if she is in the same galaxy or even in the same universe, though. The location really doesn't matter much to the central plot but there are still several philosophical questions that have to be resolved before the story ends.
The Scribe
At this time I had little idea of the detailed organization of the Guild system. Now I do, so I have tweaked the introduction to the meeting of Pitchell. Also, I used the expressions "Quick Scribe" and "Speed Scribe" to describe someone who could take what are essentially shorthand notes. This was a mistake and I am correcting all references to read "Quick Scribe".
Chapter 14, The Training Field
I still hadn't even worked out the organization of the Palace Guard, although I decided that I wanted to make some of the ranks different. After all, it would smell a little if they exactly replicated Earth ranks. Since at this point I hadn't worked out the transfer mechanism I didn't know how many people might have been transferred from Earth to Anmar, where they might have ended up and what they might have known about military matters.
Apart from Jenet, nobody has yet seen the Tai Chi, so her display on the Training Field is an eye-opener for everybody. A few of the men will have come across her in passing but what she is and why she is at the palace is a mystery for everyone.
I had arbitrarily named the halls where the men practised, I have now made those consistent with later references.
The icing on the cake is showing the watch to Parrel and Tarvan.
I made a small mistake by only providing Garia with a watch and a wallet when she was found. It didn't occur to me until later that Gary would also have had at least a set of keys and a cellphone with him when... whatever happened on Earth. Later on, I temporize by suggesting that these items may have fallen out of Garia's pockets when she was left on the mountainside.
A cellphone would have been useful for any number of reasons. Gary might have taken a selfie so he could show those interested what he looked like on Earth. However, it would only last as long as the battery and then it just becomes an interesting lump of plastic, at least until Garia can figure out a way to charge it. On balance I think the story is better without it.
Comments
accident
Wasn't Gary in an accident? Cell phones and keys are often dislodged and thrown about and thus could have remained on earth.
I agree there is nothing lost without those items.
To expand
Yes, we find out near the end of SEE that Gary ran off the road and struck a tree. The keys would have been in the ignition, and many people set their phone on the console or seat beside them, often times to charge them.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Yes and No
:)
In the original accident, Gary was in his parents' vehicle. It isn't stated whether he was in the front or back or even if he was driving. They died, he was left in a coma. Unless he was driving, his possessions would have been on him - unless he was actually using the phone at the time and lost it in the wreck.
Incidentally, I keep my house keys and my car keys on separate bunches. When I worked, and whenever I cycled, those keys were on separate bunches too. No single point of failure for me - been there, done that.
Penny
Misremembered
That part slipped past me, I had it in my mind that they died while "he" was in the coma. Gee, we tried to give you an out but you had to get all picky! ;-)
I tried keeping work keys on a seperate ring, but I kept forgetting them. So I had set #1, with my work keys and car/home keys, and set #2, with just my offduty keys. The work keys clipped to a ring on my belt for easy access.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Pigeonhole substitute
That is hard. Say you somehow have a questor who studies animals and Milsy visits him for some reason so he may set the foundation for an Anmar version of a pigeonhole. *shrug* Or even a farm with an Anmar version of a dovecote.
Perhaps
Perhaps "cubbyhole" could be used.
I finished the series recently
and was amazed at the writing, and level of detail describing an alien culture going through the throes of an enhanced industrial revolution. Along with the plot lines involved, I thought you did a masterful job of with the storyline details. Your commentaries only hint at the toil and dedication you put into the stories. Thank you for a truly enjoyable read.
Forks, entrenched customs and "stuff".
Forks, entrenched customs "and stuff" ("The Station's Late Nite Princess" ref.).
On first reading, I was surprised that Garia was referred to Parrell instead of Halflin or Fulvin (minor character that grew unexpectedly) who then would refer her to Parrell. Additionally, I was surprised that it stopped with forks at that time.
Entrenched customs; Penny, you certainly have nailed this part of human nature.
It puzzled me that Garia didn't use scribes more often on scheduled meetings. Then again, that could have stunted the growth of other characters.
Up to this point in the story, the chosen path seems the best (an amateur's opinion).
Meeting Parrel
Haflin makes weapons and armor; Fulvin makes jewelry. Neither would have been comfortable making table cutlery. Terys goes to the people who provide tableware for the palace:
Remember, at this point Garia has no idea who does anything and also has no idea of what she can or can't do. This is just the first tentative move in discovering how everything works in the new world she finds herself in.
Scribes: again, she has no idea that she might need such services until she realizes that she is telling different people the same things over and over again. Once she does, somebody is found to help. That is initally a scribe and then a secretary. Once paper is available and she learns how to write the local script, that will also make a big difference.
Penny
Hmm
Speaking of scribes and metal workers, I wonder how long it will take them to work out an office stapler and staples to go with it, the way I see it as of WMD 17 all they are missing is the ability to roll steel plate think enough and the ability to mass produce Springs (mainly because of the lack of steel wire)
Oops. Regarding Scribes
My mistake. My comment referred to the whole length of SEE.
Then again, Garia's staunch reluctance to add staff needs to be considered as well.
Garia's reluctance
You have to consider not only how alien the idea of having personal servants is, but the common problems associated with having a large number of employees, paying them isn't a problem, but the more there are the more likely they are to butt heads, add in her political significance, and then you have to consider every employee a potential security risk, even if they hold no malicious intent, they can say something that could get to someone unsavory without realizing it. Look at Tarvan and Milsy, while they both understand the confidences involved, if they discussed council happenings outside the privacy of the Lab, even if it was casual discussion, someone could have overheard and gathered potentially damaging intelligence. The more staff, the more likely you are going to get someone who isn't so careful, especially when they have partners who aren't staff.
Halflin and Fulvin
All of this was on my FIRST READING. I was puzzled mostly due to the approach I would have taken.
True they both have their duties. I would have asked them to evaluate the proposal and summon the right person.
Also, your approach to writing this tale was unknown to me (at the time).
I meant only to explain my state of puzzlement.
Thank you Penny.
Going direct
Reduces the chance of exposure, now if it was a multitool she suggested, then both Halflin and Fulvin would have been appropriate, but those are much more complicated to produce and you need to be able to stamp blanks out of steel, thick enough to be strong.
And she had yet to introduce blast furnaces and rolling mills needed to get the plate in the first place
Other worlds + hyperactive brain
I just read the first chapter of the story, it feels familiar to me, as if I have read it somewhere else.
There is the possibility that I might be remembering another story, I don't think so, but I could be wrong.
Anyway, I woke up about an hour ago with an idea for a story, which could in some ways end up being somewhat similar to your tales of Palarand, but with a bit of a twist that would make them quite different.
Now to get down to the business of smacking those poor keys to make a story. LOL
Dresses and Gowns
Oooops it doubled
*HUGS*
Robi
Dresses and Gowns
Dresses are front opening -- buttons, soon zippers, toggles, hooks, etc... Commoners dress themselves. Noble ladies are dressed, so Gowns have openings in the back or side so the dresser doesn't breath in the face of the dressie. It is why also mens shirts and womens blouses the buttons are on different sides -- Mens buttons are on the right side and women on the left( the dressers right).
Forks are either stamped from sheet or can be made using twisted wire. 1 heavy wire for 2 tine serving fork, 2 medium wires for a 4 prong dining fork. Silver or Steel or copper or nickel. Twisted wire can be also turned into matching spoons and knifes by hammer welding the tines together to make a blade and adding a bit more to make a bigger (deeper) blade.
Combination locks and tumbler locks would be nice to introduce
My wife and I are costumers for Shakespeareinthevines.org and she's on the boardas well. We're also are boothies (vendors) for Steampunk faires in SoCal (Southern California) ambermeade.com We do medaevel to lolita, though we prefer Elizabethan to Edwardian.
*HUGS*
Robi
Stamping
Stamping for eating utensils will take a while, right now (as of latest -pre epilogue timeline where manufacturing is mentioned) the only metals they are stamping things like brass and copper, (which they decided were unsuitable for forks- at least with brass, and with the surge demand for copper, they need to dilute much of it with nickel as they can unless copper is a specific requirement) they COULD do it with silver, but that partially defeats the purpose of stamping, making the product less expensive, at one point there was mention of stamping steel sheet, but with the added detail that until they get the control needed to use the steam engines to directly power the presses, that is put on hold. They barely have a production of solid core wires going.
combination and tumbler locks would be nice, however in a JOB (I forget which, it was as they were recovering from the takeover attempt) it is stated that locking one's front door is frowned upon, so more than likely the lock making industry will only grow from being a niche market, as containerization becomes more established and, more relevantly, the rail road starts and people are loading freight on trains, as well as luggage.