A bittersweet dream

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It's almost 4am on Monday December 3rd, 2007. I just woke of from a strange, bittersweet dream.

In the space of what felt like a television sitcom, I grew from a little girl to an adult woman, and watched my siblings grow too. We were all swinging on this swing set. Every time I'd look at the swing set the distorted reflections would change and when I'd look back, me and everyone else would be a little older. It's almost like time would zip by every time I looked at the reflection.

All through the dream I was hearing this song. It sorta sounded like an American folk song from the sixties. I can still hear the sing-songy lilting of the voices, even though most of the words are lost now. It seems like it's being sung by the Beetles or a similar group. There seemed to be lots of words to the song, but I was only able to capture a few words just before I woke up.

Look at all the things we've learned
Of who and what we are.
Listen to the things we learned
Riding in our car.

The theme of the song (not just those last few words) seemed to be the bittersweetness of watching your family grow up around you as if you were watching one of them documentaries where time-lapse photography showed you a flower budding, blooming, then wilting away. I was only able to capture moments (tiny, much too tiny moments) of childhood with my siblings before they, and my own body, would suddenly grow without warning. I guess this dream may kinda give people an idea of what it feels like to be age-dysphoric.

Maybe it'll just make people think I have really strange, if vivid, dreams.

Comments

You're lucky

You're lucky to even experience dreams.

I went for years with out dreaming, due to sleep apnea. a condition in which I stop breathing at night. Everytime I stopped breathing, my subconsious would have to wake up and start my breathing again. due to this I never reached the all important R.E.M. stage of sleep.

I finally went in for a sleep study and found out that during the normal 420 minute sleep cycle, I stopped breathing 375 times..... roughly every 40 seconds. This meant that an ordinary person needs and usually gets about 8 hours of sleep...... for me to get that much, I had to sleep for 12-14 hours. Even then, It was unclear as to how groggy, or grumpy I'd be when I woke up.

The cure for me was a C-Pap machine.... A machine that I hook up to when going to bed that forces posetive airflow down my thoat, allowing me to breathe, therefore allowing me to sleep and reach R.E.M........... Wow! I never knew dreams could be so, cool, so vivid. so WEIRD.

So Heather Rose, cherish every strange, weird, and exotic dream. especially the ones you can remember in the morning..... I know I do.

A.A.

Carousels

Carousels has been on my mind since I've read Maggie's amazing story "Princess Rider". Even though your dream is about swings rather that carousels it is like that scene in "Something Wicked This Way Comes" where the boy tries to grow older by riding the carousel at this really creepy carnival. Add to this stew my muse as been stirring is a family movie named, "Thief Lord." It also has a carousel but an ancient type known a "flying horse" where the animals were all mystical creatures and was worked by a hand crank. Depending on if you crank it forward or reverse would determine if you age or regressed. The interesting thing was the craved creatures was suggested to have personalities that didn't always take kindly to the human who dared ride them. A story here perhaps? "Something Wonderful this Way Comes?"
Thanks for sharing your dream with us Heather.
Hugs!
grover

The things dreams are made of

Huggles Heather Rose

Thanks for sharing your all your magic with us, be it a story, a drawing or even a dream. Most of my dreams aren't quite so magical and meaningful as yours, but once in a while... you get something special.

Thank you for sharing yours with us. It may have been a dream, but there's very real truth in the story and the song.

Hugs and love Maggie.

P.S. Anyone who knows where that carousel is, please send me directions and when I find it and get on the pink pony, I'm going to tell the person working it, to throw it into reverse and not to stop until he hears me giggle.