Circumstantial Exposition

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One thing that really burns my biscuits is Circumstantial Exposition. This is my name for when a sloppy writer wants his characters to act in a way that makes absolutely no sense, and they just drop in an explanation right along with the offending behavior.

For example:

And then, Billy decided to get into the car with the stranger. Did I mention that Billy was extremely trustful of strangers? Well he is. Cause he was raised in an orphanage in Ecuador where he lived with deaf mute monks. Since he couldn't speak with them, they were like strangers.

That's kind of an overblown example, but I see it a lot in hastily written stories. My take on writing characters is you should flesh them out to the point that readers will know what they're likely to say or do. Take Willow and Xander from the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you're a fan, you can improvise a Willow-Xander dialogue in your head right now. Go for it. See what I mean? You know the characters. You also can spot out of character behavior from a mile away. (See BtVS Season 6. Discuss)

But getting back to Circumstantial Exposition. This rears its ugly head when a character is ill defined, or when an author is too lazy to build a case for a particular action. That's what I think it comes down to. As you tell the story, you need to think about where your characters are going, and you need to lay a solid framework to build the case for later behavior. Another option is to NOT explain the behavior, and reveal the foundation of it later in the work. The answer is almost never to do it right there, like a solid kick in the jimmy.

You see it in bad movies too.


CAP'N: Dammit Barnes! Why won't you let this case go?

BARNES: You want to know? Well I'll tell you. Cause my son was killed by a laid off ice cream truck driver! That's why! And that's why I can't let it go.

Boom. Solid kick to the jimmy. It's like that public service announcement where the kid is caught smoking and yells at her parents, "I learned it from you, okay? I learned it from you!" Even repeating the sentence hurts.

On that note, I've posted (assuming the timed posting feature on the site works) the next chapter of Being Christina Chase. Which should make two fridays in a row. Again, this chapter has no TG content to speak of, though after reading it, anyone should be able to see what device I'm using to introduce the content. It is my hope that I'm making the case for the characters with the long introduction. Actually, I think I rushed the intro, but I don't think you can accomplish much in under 10k words. Which I suppose explains why I'm not writing short stories.

On the side note of what device one uses to introduce TG content, I'm pretty sure it's all been done before. The device I'm using has been done before. The devices are so well known that I'm pretty sure there's categories for them on the site so you can find stories that use the device. So I have to let go of the fact that regardless of the device I pick, readers are going to see it a mile away. My hope is that what comes afterwards is fresh enough that no one will linger on what's obviously an overused plot device.

Comments

only bad when done badly.

I don't think a general rule like that is a good thing.
It all depends on the narrative voice. If the story is told in a conversational style, then revealing underlying circumstances in the context of their influence is perfectly natural. If the main character enjoys cooking because learning how was how he bonded with his grandmother as a child, it isn't really appropriate to know that until he's in a kitchen.

I think your problem is when it feels like the author is hastily cobbling together the character's backstory, but it could be even worse if something is mentioned long before it's relevant. It's like in a hack mystery where you're supposed to remember when Archibald turns up dead in chapter 31 that back in chapter 2 he mentioned a shellfish allergy.

Versus prior exposition of coming circumstance

I rather agree.

I think the Jennifer B has a fair point that sometimes it's perfectly fine to say something by way of explanation as the circumstance unfolds, but it's *usually* bad, or liable to bring about a sort of inadvertent foiling of the suspension of disbelief, turning the reader into a critic.

But I think just as problematical is the tendency to have qualifying conditions announced in advance which make the coming circumstances obvious and act as complete spoilers on the coming action.

But then writing fantasy is a delicate thing, as we all know, and so we struggle on, hoping to delight or raise a smile, and often stumbling.