Hey folks,

I can't take this any more. I am near tears.

The ongoing saga of my foot will not end.

So, they need to do a ct scan to confirm that I have a bone infection and also to know how to cut it out. I'm sure it's not every bone and probably not the whole bone so they have to be careful. The specialists have been pretty nice and on top of things so I hate that part of my frustration gets taken out on them.

So I went in for surgery yesterday morning.

So, in my frustration with several issues, I went to the local barber shop and got a buzz cut, and now there is no hair on my head longer than 1/8th inch. Why do people do this?

You know, if you had tried to tell me five and a half years ago when I first joined Big Closet, that one day I'd be standing in front of a group of people at a church and telling them about being trans, I never would believed you. But it happened, and a big reason why is the love and support I've received on BC and elsewhere online.

So, to all those who have sent me support over the years, let me say ...

Thank you all so much.

Every one of you rocks.

And huggles for everyone!

Just found that I was official member of BCTS for 2 and half years. I was following stories on this site for much much longer. Basically, since Crystal's site stopped updating. And... I had registers here twice before but forgotten logins/passwords...
I never consciously tried to be troll on this site, but as I was recently banned from several sites for asking people to explain their position and to provide substantiation to their claims I can say that I am a semi professional internet troll :-) Can't claim to be professional as I never received any money for my posts online :-)

Just an FYI, I'm going to be out of comission for at least a couple days.

I currently have both an Middle Ear, and Outer Ear infection, which is causing me extreme pain which even the prescribed pain meds aren't helping. My left ear is so swollen that they had to use an "ear wick" so that the drops get to where they need to go.

I'm on both an ear-drop antibiotic, and an oral antibiotic as well as Ear drop pain relief and oral pain meds.

Today is as special day of me and my husband. Today we watched our two daughters graduate from the US Army Airborne School. For us it has a special meaning for our family. You see when I first came to the US I joined our military to help gain my citizenship. While I served I won those same wings, so you can see why this was so special to me. For my husband who is from the UK and had served in their military as a British Paratroop it was doubly so. You see his father and his grandfather were also British Paratroopers going all the way back to WW2.

"...As I was saying...." (Google it if you're under a certain age or not a fan of ancient television)

I'm mortified that my last fiction updates were nearly 3 months ago.

Yes, I've been having 'muse troubles' (she vanished without a trace, leaving me to slog along on my own), but I managed to eke out a bit more of both Dead Ringer and Summer of Love.

Well, last night I had a pretty good night out, as my brother and sister-in-law took my mom and me out for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday.

They gave my mom a framed picture of my grandfather on his tank taken during WW II, which got my mom reminiscing about those dark years during which she could only hope and pray her dad would make it home.

So as Remembrance Day approaches, don't just think of the soldiers who fought. Take a moment to remember the families who lost out as well.

Huggles for everybody.

Months to get the letter referring me to the Chief Assessor, then I hear in the outgoing message from her office no funds for assessing until April.

Yesterday morning I get a phone call, go to Vancouver General Hospital this morning for a video conference with 2 Assessors.

The past two days I've been a little down. I'd been trying to keep in touch with my kids since I left Vancouver and was getting a bit depressed after my last email to them on Halloween got no replies. I was in chat talking with Erica Jane when I decided to check again. I got a response fro my 17 year old pretty much telling me to stay the fuck out of their lives and stop trying to stay in contact with them after "what I did leaving to be with your boyfriend so you could be happy".

Well, I am now only two weeks away from my lecture at my church. I have finished my notes, and just need to print them out, and run through them a couple times, and I will be as ready as I can be.

But since butterflies seem inevitable, maybe I should avoid a countdown?

What do you guys think?

I sleep all night and a write all day... Oops. Sorry. Got carried away for a second there ;-) This is a long overdue blog post, and I'm sorry to say it's not as informative as I'd like it to be, but that's because there's a lot of good things happening that I don't want to curse!

Caution: Mild language. Only mild, though.

The infection is back and it's in full swing. My foot is swollen again all the way up to the calf muscle. I am in so much pain I cannot sleep. The doctor gave me pain pills. While they make my head all foggy and interfere with my ability to write, they do nothing for the actual pain. The doctor I have doesn't listen to a word I say, nor does she allow me to actually express everything that's on my mind as she hurriedly tries to shoo me out the door. I have obamacare, which let me go to one doctor which is a free clinic. Don't know what I'm paying monthly into.

I've been watching the last few days, and I rolled over to 9 years 12 months! Ten years of Big Closet.

Sure looks LOTS better then it did then

So, YEAH!! for my favorite sight!!!

Beth

"There are few things Chocolate Chip Cookis can't make Better"

If you're the praying type, I could use some good vibes right now

My mom had to get a rental car while her car is being repaired, which is putting a serous strain on our already tight budget. I'm starting to think I cant afford to get a passport, which means no consult, no SRS, its going to be over for me.

It feels like as soon as something positive happens, something comes along to take it away, and I feel like a rat who navigated the maze only to find out the cheese was plastic ...

I'm so tired .... so very, very tired ...

I need a miracle ...

I found this article this morning and thought it very interesting.- Isaac Asimov Mulls “How Do People Get New Ideas?”

Also on a side note... I get my nasal stents out today. So excited.

I went through a round of antibiotics, but I think I still have the infection in me. Lately I have been very nauseous and been going to the bathroom often. I am extremely tired and achy and have little energy to do anything. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed. and hopefully we can figure it out. I don't have much faith since this is the doctor that missed the fact that I had an infection in the first place.

Well, I have some amazing news to share.

I got a call from Dr. Meltzer in Scotsdale, Arizona about me coming in for an evaluation about having SRS. Assuming I can get my act together and get a passport, I will be there March 25, 1100 A.M., and then we'll have to see what they have to say.

I am actually shaking and crying, I'm so happy ...

Folks, if you're the praying kind, please include my family in your prayers.

Sharon's condition has gotten so bad she's been told she will be off work for at least 3 months, possibly longer if they cant get her surgery before that time.

To say that's going to make things stressful in a number of areas isn't putting too fine a point on it ...

I am truly sorry I haven't been around or contributing tales. You know all those people who say they have no life? Well...the miserable curs gave them all to me!!! With so many family obligations and my work, I barely and rarely have time to even write a sentence or two. Sometimes, when it's slow and I have two or three minutes to myself, or I'm having yet another sleepless night, I do manage to take a peek at some of the tales being posted.

Apologies for no Bike last night. I did try to blog to explain things but on clicking on save, I got the dreaded, ‘This page can’t be displayed.’ I didn’t have the energy to retype it. There will be an episode today, I’ll finish the one I started last night before I zonked.

Some of you have my phone numebr.

The proglem is my phone id dead and I'm trying to get it replaced....

/
Love and Blessigs,
Betj

PS: Comdex is DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next S