Owner of a Lonely Heart - Part 3

My journey back to Skipton was not the one that I’d expected when Mary dropped me at the station that morning. I felt an inner calmness and that was strange to me. I’d been excited about getting those dresses made for me but after the incident in the Cathedral, it was as if they didn’t matter any more.

Mary met me at the station. In an instant she noticed that I was different.

“Did Vic give you the tour?”

I nodded.

“It got to you didn’t it?”

“Yes it did. As much as I didn’t want it to, it did.”

Mary laughed.

Owner of a Lonely Heart - Part 2

Mary took me under her wing and eased me into Parish Life once she had helped me create a believable back story for my life. We needed a story that had to stand up under the close scrutiny of her parishioners. It didn’t take me long to realise that Mary was an expert at that. I sat back and marvelled at how she tied things together so that were no loose ends.

Then there was the subject of my clothes. Mary took one look at the few I had in my case and laughed her head off.

“Those will never do for the parish ladies,” she commented.

Owner of a Lonely Heart - Part 1

As the dawn chorus broke and with a heavy heart, I wrote my goodbye letter to Liam.

Dear Liam,

I am so sorry to say goodbye like this but I can no longer fulfill the role you want me to do at the expense of all my desires. To carry on like I have for the past few will totally destroy me. If I don’t leave now, I never will. I’ve returned all the gifts you have bought me since I came to live with you. I have managed to gather enough money to get me to wherever, find a place to live and start a new life.

Please don’t come searching for me. I will change both my name and appearance. The past has been fun at times but I have so many dreams of my own that I need to try to achieve and if I fail, then so be it.


Do you hide your LGBT Status?

Blog About: 


Well, do you?
This article on the BBC ahead of this years 'London Pride' (I'll have a pint please...) sorry, 'Pride in London'.

Only two people know about the real me. So yes I do hide it. Personally, I made that decision 40+ years ago and got on with my life.
Places like this allow me to express myself but I still dress almost every day. Ok, so I live alone like many here I guess.

Vacation over for another year (or maybe not)

Blog About: 


Well, that's it for another year. Just waiting for my flight from Vegas to London.

I went stargazing on the Nevada Northern from Ely last night. The almost full moon meant that most stars were invisible. Still we got good views of Mars, Jupiter and Saturn and the Moon.

You can love twice

[12 Years ago]

There I was, full of late teenage hormones, in bed with my girlfriend of the past three years Annie, with both of us ready to do the dirty deed and…

“I’m sorry Annie. I can’t do this. It is not right.”

“Eh? What have I done wrong?” she answered trying to comprehend what had just happened.

“I can’t have sex with you. It just isn’t right.”

The Ugly Duckling

The Ugly Duckling

There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
Get out of town
Get out, get out, get out of town

Bobby Mason knew that he was in trouble as soon as he walked into the School Playground.
A reception party was waiting for him. At least 10 other boys were lined up with their arms crossed blocking his entry to the school.

The Mumaddy

“’Dad, hold still can’t you?”

“I’m trying. Can’t you see that.”

“If you don’t then I could stick this mascara wand right into your eye.”

“I know. Just get on with it ok? I don’t want to be late.”

“Nag, nag, nag. You are just like Mum was.”

I looked at my daughter sternly.

“Sorry Dad. I forgot.”

I smiled back at her.

“It’s all right. I forget sometimes as well.”

“That’s it. You are all set Amanda.”

“Thanks Lindsey. You are the best daughter I could ever wish for.”

Lindsey grinned back at me.

Lost Luggage

One of the worst things about travelling by Air these days, well apart from the hassle of seemingly endless security before you even get on the aircraft, is standing at the baggage carousel looking expectantly at the seemingly endless stream of bags arriving in the hope that yours was actually put on the flight in the first place. As the last bags appear you have that heart rending moment when you realise that yours is not there.

How, in these days the sophisticated computer systems that are used by the airports and airlines, can it be that about one in a million bags go missing.

Doesn’t the airline industry keep promising us that errant bags are a thing of the past. Yeah right.

Decisions - Decisions - Part 5

The journey home was very quiet. There really wasn’t much to say once we’d updated Eric on the situation.

As we approached Lincoln, Eric’s phone beeped.

“Can you see what that is please?” said Eric as he passed Sandra the phone.

‘It’s from John,” she said as she looked at the screen.

“He says that the Jeff’s have probably done a runner. He wants us to drive past Jeff seniors home in Lincoln to see if there are any signs of activity.”

“I don’t know about that,” said Eric.

Decisions - Decisions - Part 4

Decisions-Decisions 4

Eric made the call to his son from the Managers office. It didn’t take long. When he returned he said,

“John will meet us on Thursday at 10. The problem is that we have to go to see him in Derby. That journey will need an early start.”

He was right. Living in the back of beyond has one huge disadvantage in that it takes ages to get nowhere fast. The roads in the region are crap. Full of potholes and often covered in mud from farm traffic.

I opened my handbag and pulled out the train timetable that I’d used for my trip to Sheffield before Christmas.

Decisions - Decisions - Part 3

As the saying goes, ‘all good things come to an end’. For the three of us, that meant having to go back to work. Still we were happy at how things had turned out over the Holidays.

The three of us made a staggered entrance on the first day back. Gwen got a few ribald comments from Jeff. That was nothing in comparison to what I received.

As I walked into the Office, Jeff pounced.
“Hello, my name is Jeff. Can I help you Ms?”

“Hello Jeff, my name is Louise. I am Stewarts replacement.”

Trans Author on BBC website

This is an article entitled

Living with Peter who dresses as Penny

He's also a local Counsillor and Author (At least three books on Amazon) with a very understanding wife.

Here is another link to him on the Daily Flail/Fail/Mail. (Sorry)

Decisions - Decisions - Part 2

I poured a cup of coffee and gave it to Gwen.

She disappeared into the bedroom to give it to Sandra.

Ten seconds later, there was a scream and a lot of swearing coming from that part of the flat.

Then it went silent.

Thirty seconds later, Sandra emerged from the room carrying the coffee cup.

“Why didn’t you wake me up before this?”

“What do you mean? Do you have to be somewhere?”

Decisions - Decisions - Part 1

It was fast approaching Christmas and the office manager, Alex was forever pestering me about who I’d be bringing to the Company Christmas Party the weekend before Christmas.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Stewart Briggs or Stewie to my very few friends. I’m 26 going on 27 and I’m a sort of ‘Estate Agent’. Hold on. Don’t stop reading. Not all of us are boring and only think about selling houses.

I manage the repairs and maintenance of the properties that are let through us. I couldn’t sell a house even if my life depended upon it but I seemed to be able to get repairs done to a both a standard and a cost that keeps everyone happy.

All Change at No 42 Acacia Avenue

“Hello Darling” said the man to the slightly younger woman who had just entered the Brasserie at lunchtime.

They briefly kissed each other and sat down.

“All set for your interview then?” asked the man.

“Yes. I really want this job. It will mean a lot more money.”

Inwardly, he sighed.
“Well, you deserve it. We both know that old Higgins won’t promote you any further because you don’t play golf.”

Don't mess with me!

I got home from work that fateful friday evening and slumped into my one and only chair and kicked off my only decent pair of shoes in disgust.

My creep of a boss had come onto me big time when the whole team were in the pub celebrating the birth of a child to one of our colleagues. I’d told him in front of everyone else that ‘I’d never be friends with you even if you were the last man on earth’.

You Again!

It had been a long, long and very fraught day. A little after 8pm, I said to myself, ‘Enough. The rest can wait until tomorrow.’

I shut down my computer and left my office making sure I double locked the door behind me and headed downstairs.

The place was quiet. Well it was a Monday night in January so that was par for the course. I nodded to Georgina who was manning reception until her shift ended at 10.

I walked the few paces into the bar. I nodded at Harry who was doing what bartender do when they have nothing urgent to do namely, polishing a glass.

A sense of 'what the heck'???

I have two stories being written//edited that are a bit more macabre than my normal fare.
Ok, so on is where the hero/heroine is being stalked and the other is where they are involved with solving the crimes.
The latter one I strted writing in 2013 and is at least 6 parts. The former is something I wrote on a recent flight from Dubai to London.

Then I pick up a book called 'Deja Dead' that features Temperance "Bones" Brennan.

A Birthday Reunion

To celebrate a whole two years since my ‘divorce’ I decided to get dolled up and go out.

You must understand that I don’t normally do that but for once, I decided that I’d go out in a bit of ‘glam’.

My desire to wear my ex wife’s clothes was what led up to the divorce despite Paula knowing about Suzi before we got married. In the end, the fact that I often looked better in her clothes was sometimes just too much for her.

The Crush : Always first.

Diane Bradley was always first.
First for wear a Bra in Junior School.
First to get suspended for wearing too much make-up.
First to get suspended for wearing too high heels to school.
First to get suspended for wearing skirts that were almost indecently short AND stockings.
First to get her Nose Pierced.

What Timezone does this site use?

A little while ago (minutes) I posted a comment to my story 'The Black Cab'. The time of the post was logged as 2016/01/24 - 7:07am
Yet it was 2016-01-24 06:47:00 (or thereabouts).

I know of some parts of the world that use the odd half hour as a TX offset (India is UTC+05:30) but this seems to be a case of clock drift.

If there a reason for the drift?

While I am on the subject of times, when does the 'day' start for the Hit counter? If there some mythical Timezone used for this? Perhaps the Sargasso Sea TZ?

The Black Cab

The Black Cab

The lift doors opened and two tall slim ladies emerged into the Hotel Lobby. They caught the sight of themselves in the mirror and they smiled at each other. Then as if they owned the place, they walked directly into the bar that adjoined the Michelin 3* restaurant that the hotel boasted. The Maître D asked,

“Are you dining with us tonight ladies?”

“Yes, yes we are,” said one of them.

The Policeman and the Ponygirl

I was sitting at my desk going through some paperwork when the door to the office opened and in walked a man in a Police Inspectors uniform.

“Sergeant Dobbs, I understand that you know the Gibbs family?”

“Yes Sir. I guess you don’t know that Nick is, sorry was my adopted brother. He changed his name back to his original one when he met his birth parents a few years ago.”

The officer sat down with a sigh.

“I’m going to need you to go and break the bad news to Mrs Gibbs. It will be better coming from you.”

Under my Nose

[2001] Aged 10

Our new Neighbours moved in two days before Christmas. Mother, Father and a 10 year old girl named Jocasta. I thought that was a cool name because she is a superhero from ‘The Avengers’.

Her family were invited round to our place on Christmas Day because the Gas people hadn’t connected up their oven in time. Our families became firm friends from that day onward.

We must stop meeting like this!

This is a story for the new year.
[The first time]

The first time I saw Naomi was a couple of weeks before Christmas. It was late afternoon and I was standing in for our receptionist Mary Blanchard who was having a wisdom tooth removed.

The whole place was a hive of activity getting orders shipped before the posting deadline.

She walked into reception wearing a grey and black herringbone three quarter length coat, black leggings and a pair of black L.K. Bennett ankle boots. Her long brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. Her makeup was flawless. Her eyes glistened in the chrismas tree lights.

I'm in Heaven

My phone was ringing. From the caller ID I could see that it was my dear Mother. It was just after seven in the morning on Christmas Eve and the last thing I wanted to do at that particular moment was speak to her. I was doing very well in my life without her trying to set me up with every available and not so available women she could find in her extensive social circles. There was a reason that I’d always fobbed them off and she’d find out why soon enough.

Just another day in Paradise

“I’ll have the code changes worked out in a couple of days. I’ll be ready to test by the end of the week,” I said feeling a bit of pressure from the people in the office.

The Video call wound down and I breathed a sigh of relief as I hung up. As I was doing so, I heard a voice start to call out my name. I ignored it. The call had gone on far longer than anyone had anticipated and I really didn’t want to speak to anyone for a while.

The Ultimate Christmas Gift?

“Mr Charlton, unless you are prepared to tell me your troubles I really see no point in us continuing these sessions. Well?”

I’m Paul Charlton and I’m sitting ‘in the Psychiatrists Chair’. I was here because I'd lost it in a very big way and had a breakdown. That breakdown had led to the end of my marriage and thence to me becoming homeless and virtually penniless. Now three years later I was trying to rebuild my life but one huge thing was getting in the way. That was my secret.

I didn’t reply straight away. That didn’t matter to Dr Yacub Pakker, my Psychiatrist.

Germaine Greer : Transwomen are not real women


That well know womens lib supporter has turned her guns on Transwomen.

I have been a supporter of her work in the past on Womens Lib and equality etc.
But now I think she's lost the plot. Totally.

She's PNG with me from now on.

A Late Christmas Surprise

Two days after Christmas and I was starting to get bored. Another week before I had to return to work and I didn’t have anything to do.

All the Christmas Day detritus was put away on the 26th. My visitors left the same day as well and now the place is quiet.

The Perfect Christmas Present

[Christmas Eve]

The early evening crowd bar at the George and Dragon was thinning out when the door opened and in walked one of the regulars.

“Hello Mike,” said the Barman.

“Hi Pete. The usual please and a double ‘Grouse’ please.”

Pete, the barman raised his eyebrows.

“I can tell that something is wrong. It has to be for you to order a chaser.”

In the Psychiatrists Chair - 2 - Autumn 1968

In the Psychiatrists Chair -2 (Autumn 1968)

“Come on in John and take a seat.”

The client didn’t say anything. He was a teenager and was still dressed in his school uniform. The look on his face said that he didn't want to be here.

Brief Encounter

{The plot of the classic David Lean film slightly updated…}

The announcement was clear and to the point.

“All services to the south are delayed by at least a further thirty, that’s Three Zero minutes. This is due to overhead line problems near Penrith.”

I thought to myself, ‘another bit of bad news after a totally shitty day. What more could go wrong?’.

writing Update


Last May/June I spent three weeks in the Rockies travelling around and taking lots of Photos (5600+).
Whilst driving from Laramie to Yellowstone I had an idea for a story. Now after a prolonged period of gestation I've nearly finished it. So far around 20K words have been typed.
Now I'm about to start the editing but I have my 2015 Photo Calendar to get off to the printers first.
The provisional title is 'The Good Samaritan' but I not happy with it so it might change.

With a bit of luck I'll start posting it in a couple of weeks.

Out of the Ashes, Part 5 - Monday Afternoon and Tuesday

The sergeant had just released my ankles when his radio bleeped.


“We’ve got her,” came over the radio, loud and clear.

“Thanks, out.”

He looked up at me and saw my smiling face.


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