Meancat

If The Shoe Fits

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“Alex. It’s just one night. No one will ever know but us. Please, I’m begging you, do this for me?”

I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I didn’t nod or shake my head. I just let Lara slip my athletic socks off my feet and, one after the other, slide the high-heeled shoes into place.

They fit like they were made for me.

 

IF THE SHOE FITS...

by Meancat

Prom-ise to my Self

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I made a critical girl mistake that any rational woman would scoff at me for: I refused to buy my actual dress size. Yes, I'm one of those types. Sure I could have got that red A line in a 16 (XL) and probably had room to spare, but no, I went for 12 (L). My ego will not allow me to be a 16. So on go the spanx and in I will wedge myself and hope that the industry is also playing to my ego by having a size 12 actually be a 16. I know, I know it's shallow. I should just be comfortable, and not worry about numbers but man... no! I will not kowtow to my overindulgence.

And Then I Came Out

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So, yeah. Life happened, huh? My wife and I welcomed an adorable baby girl into the world and the days since have been just so full of joy. It's been hard to really think about the girl-side with so many things going on professionally and personally. I gotta tell you, when you're over 6 feet tall in your thirties and packing an extra 20 lbs, you really consider hanging up the skirt. Mine had been hung for well on 9 years and I was no longer the 155 lb waif I once was.

Back in the Water

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I was finally able to write a new chapter in If The Shoe Fits... and posting it here was terrifying. I was so confident before and I felt like the wind was at my back. I was so worried about letting people down, or scratch that, letting my characters down that I sat in silence staring at the submit key -the wind clearly at my face. Whatever the consequence of my decision to post ALEJANDRO as Chapter 5 and not GUYS & DOLLS which will now be CHAPTER 6, I feel relieved. It's out there.

Have you guys seen this news? http://zepy.momotato.com/2010/08/31/kayo-police-was-a-guy/

If The Shoe Fits... Ch. 5

If The Shoe Fits...
Chapter 5. ALEJANDRO

“Why did you all ignore me before when I was asking for help? I thought it was because you didn’t speak any English but clearly that’s not the case.”

“Oh don’t act so innocent. You come into the barrio, a man dressing like a girl, and expect people to talk to you. Jose thought you were like a crazy serial killer from Silence of the Lambs.”

“I’m not ‘dressing like a girl,’ I’m wearing pants and a hoodie!”

“You dress like my little sister and act like a puta.” I shot him a scornful look. “See?”

“Could we just focus on the task at hand please.”

If The Shoe Fits... Ch. 4

“Well, I must say I was expecting a little more love for helping out a damsel in distress...” The bass of the guy’s voice had a way of reverberating under my skin.

I could feel my cheeks burning red again. “I’m not a damsel!” This guy clearly needed glasses. His stupid mop of dirty black hair was probably hiding a lobotomy scar.

“What!? I didn’t mean you!” He looked as outraged as I did. He pointed to Lara as he knelt down to pick up the rest of her books.

If The Shoe Fits... Ch. 3

“Lara, I don’t see any shorts?” Lara looked at me like I was stupid.

“That’s be-cause. It’s a dr-esssss.”

I didn’t know a lot about kids but I did know that boys didn’t wear dresses, although I think when I was really small my mother may have had me in them until I got too old.

“I can’t wear a dress!” This seemed like a logical argument to me.

“Sure ya can. You’re wearing one now. Duh?”

If The Shoe Fits... Ch. 2

“What does she mean by ‘we’?” I asked stifling the rage under my surface.

“Don’t play dumb, Alex. She means she and Ally have landed another modeling gig.” Lara smiled through her croutons and it may have been the wickedest smile I’ve ever seen.

“Aren’t you excited?” Caitlyn looked hurt that I didn’t share her enthusiasm.

“No, because I’m not doing it.”

If The Shoe Fits Ch. 1

“Alex. It’s just one night. No one will ever know but us. Please, I’m begging you, do this for me?”

I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I didn’t nod or shake my head. I just let Lara slip my athletic socks off my feet and, one after the other, slide the high-heeled shoes into place.

They fit like they were made for me.

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