Haylee V

Another Part of "Demons" is up

OK, I know it's shorter than the previous two chapters. It's actually one of three (or so) sub-chapters. They didn't (exactly) fit into how I wanted the story to go, but were necessary to give the background of Geoff's institutionalization / commitment. Since this part wasn't actually a session (per se), I felt it best to include them here. After all, he did attempt suicide... Hope you enjoy these. I'll return to my regular format -- session, journal, and possible song next chapter.

Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl - Chapter 2.1

Inner Demons, AKA "Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl"
© 2017 Haylee V

* This is a true account of my life experiences. All persons portrayed in this story are based on actual people I've met throughout my life, and the events portrayed actually happened. No malice is intended to those individuals involved, and names have been altered to protect the identities of the people portrayed. *

Nothing like good music to raise one's spirits

Blog About: 


So I've been just kinda messing around today, trying to get inspired to write some more. I hit up Pandora, and set it to fit my more eclectic style. I've been in a rather tranquil mood today, so I thought I'd start with a little Enya, but she wasn't who I really wanted. I felt myself drifting back to my darker days (in part due to writing Inner Demons), and thought I'd give a group I hadn't played in years another go - Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

Difference between an Optimist, a Pessimist, and a Realist

Blog About: 


OK, try this one on for size:

In a room, on a bar, sits an ice cold cup of soda, half full.

An Optimist walks in, sees it, and thinks, "Aah. The glass is half-full. It has the potential to be quite refreshing."
A Pessimist walks in, sees it, and thinks, "Rats. The glass is half-empty. There's not enough in it to quench my thirst."
A REALIST walks in, takes one look at the glass, and screams out, "OK, who's the wise guy that drank half my pop?"

The Mandela Shift, Chapter 4

The Mandela Shift

A collaborative effort of Leila and Haylee V
(c) 2017

*Author's note:

I talked at length with Leila the other day. She is going through a rough patch right now (nothing that should concern our gentle readers, though), and I have had issues with my health and moving into a new residential care facility. She has given me the go-ahead to post the next chapter of our combined saga. We sincerely hope you like what we've come up with.

Haylee V*

Chapter Four

Demons, Chapter 2 Up

Chapter Two of Inner Demons is now up. Included in this chapter is the actual journal entry from back then, as well as the song I wrote after "The Kiss". While not CRITICAL to the story, they do provide background. Every chapter from this point on WILL contain an actual journal entry, which is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL to read. One warning, though: They are EXTREMELY dark -- darker than anything else I have ever written. If you have a weak constitution, then I beg of you: PLEASE skip them.

Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl - Chapter 2

Inner Demons, AKA "Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl"
© 2017 Haylee V

* This is a true account of my life experiences. All persons portrayed in this story are based on actual people I've met throughout my life, and the events portrayed actually happened. No malice is intended to those individuals involved, and names have been altered to protect the identities of the people portrayed. *

God's Special Angels

God's Special Angels

A TRUE Story by Haylee V. (C) 2017


Well, it's taken me about two weeks, but I finally have gotten settled in to my new group home and have tried (somewhat successfully) to befriend my fellow residents. One resident in particular was especially impressed with me--Jason.

New Story Posting

I have posted a new story I hope all my readers will enjoy: Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl.

To date, it is the LONGEST serial chapter I have ever posted on this site, at over 3,700 words.

Yes, it is COMPLETELY autobiographical.

Yes, it is dark. Future chapters may cause some readers to shudder or sicken at its darkness. Such is my life, and fair warnings will be given at the appropriate times.

Yes, it was painful. Dealing with demons always is.

Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl - Chapter 1

Inner Demons, AKA "Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl"
© 2017 Haylee V

* This is a true account of my life experiences. All persons portrayed in this story are based on actual people I've met throughout my life, and the events portrayed actually happened to me or someone close to me. No malice is intended to those individuals involved, and names have been altered to protect the identities of the people portrayed. *

New Story Posting

I just posted updates to Crayola Chronicles: Alicia Steele (please note the title change), as well as chapter 2. Tentative date for chapter 3 is mid-May (17th or so). I have the next chapter of Mandela Shift ready, pending Leila's permission to post, and receipt of her notes for chapters 5 and 6. Smoky Corners 0: A Journey of a Thousand Miles has been started, with hopes of chapter 1 being completed and posted next week. I'm working on revisions to all my SC works, so stay tuned. I'm working on a spin of Beauty and the Beast. Whew! At least they let me write in ICU, huh? LOL...

Crayola Chronicles, Book 0: Alicia Steele 2

Crayola Chronicles - Book 00 - Title.png
Chapter Two

About eight weeks after our anniversary, I discovered, much to my surprise and delight, that I was pregnant. I felt like the Fates were finally smiling down on me, and THIS TIME, I'd do everything right by my baby.

You Might Be A Trans...

Blog About: 


Leila and I were talking last night, and we were discussing what would have happened if Jeff Foxworthy had been transgendered.
Here's some of what we came up with:

And now, without further ado, Ms. Jethrene Foxx, with another installment of "You might Be A Trans Person If..."

If you've ever given makeup advice to a woman, you might be a trans...

If your family didn't know your birth name until you were 27...

If you own a cigarette lighter, and you don't smoke...

April Fool's!

I was walking towards the bookstore where we hosted our usual Saturday evening D & D game. It was a beautiful spring day--April first, to be precise, and I was once again acting in my role of Dungeon Master. I had just rounded the corner to the shopping plaza when a strange imp pulled on my sleeve, dragging me into a tiny curio shop in the corner.

The Mandela Shift, Chapter 3

Chapter 3
"Bethany Carl," she whispers, motioning me to follow- quietly. She stealthily helps me towards the dumpster. Fortunately, we are not discovered. As we reach it, I see an almost invisible door on the side of one of the buildings slide open silently. She pulls me through quickly. As I glance backward, I see the opening fade. In its place is nothing but common brownstone, like everything else around the clinic. "We can talk freely now, Stacey," she says. "The walls are completely soundproof."

Smoky Corners 3-NC: Aussie Dreams

OK, so I'm posting this two days early, but I wanted to do something special for a special person on (or at least near) her birthday. Besides, it's Pi Day, so...

Without further ado, I present:

Smoky Corners 3-NC: Aussie Dreams
(c) 2017
Haylee V


I must apologize to all my readers for letting so much fall by the wayside. With the new pacemaker implanted at Christmas, and the subsequent hack to my account (If you only knew how sorry I am that such a horrendous thing happened to you, 'Dox... *weep*), I haven't been able (or really willing) to post much. Now that I am health(ier), and have a new computer and tighter security measures in place, both on my laptop and on BC in general (Thanks, Pipe, Seph, and Erin! *kiss*), I am in a position once again to write.

The Winjkte and the Warrior - Glossary

Please bear with me in this endeavor. For some common English phrases, there are no translations (at least none of which I'm aware, anyway), so I took a few liberties, although the translations are (I hope) as accurate as possible. Any error in translation is mine alone, and if you know of a better translation, please PM me and I'll make the necessary changes.

First, the characters themselves:

Story teaser

Here's a brief intro to a novel I plan to write, titled "The Winjkte and the Warrior". It is set in the Midwest in the late 1800s, and is a cross between Pocahontas and Dances With Wolves. Please feel free to comment. And yes, I am part Lakota...

I must admit, though, there are a LOT of Siouxan words and phrases used, and translations are given where appropriate, although most can be gleaned purely through context. When I publish it, whether here or through Amazon, I WILL include a glossary to aid my readers.

The Mandela Shift, Chapter 2

The Mandela Effect
(c) 2017
A collaboration by Leila and Haylee V
Chapter 2

Smoke envelops the room. Oh God! It's started! Nobody waited for the orders to be signed! Were they targeting me? The living room billows with smoke. My exit is blocked. What do I have on me? I spy my luggage through the flames. I can't get to it. My purse and my wallet are there. NO! My eye catches a glimpse of the sunlight peering through my bedroom window. The smoke builds in the room.

A Collection of My Poetry

Author's note: The poems presented below are the copyrighted works of Ronald Heyward Bailey, Junior, known here on Big Closet under the pseudonym of Haylee V. If you have found them on any sites other than poetry.com (now lulu.com) or here, then you are reading pirated copies.

For Marcus
(c) 2001

Too many nights of eating cold Taco Bell burritos
And getting drunk off of cheap wine and tequila & coke

Bad news


I'm Baaaaaack!... (maniacal laughter)

On the serious side:

I have a BRAND NEW laptop, and have implemented some pretty major security upgrades to (hopefully) insure no further attacks from hackers. With the new threat of piracy, however, I am adding measures to my work to prevent piracy.

New stories are in the works, as well as MAJOR upgrades/revisions/additions to the old ones. Teasers will be posted soon.


Shared tragedy

There are many on this site that have experienced tragedies too horrific to comprehend. Some have managed to, somehow, find balance and deal with these hideous, monstrous demons, some have not. I have shared some of my childhood tragedies with a few close friends- people that have been through, or are currently going through- similar circumstances. PTSD is a ROYAL BITCH, and sometimes, we all need a shoulder to cry on, a gentle hug, an understanding heart, and a listening ear. I would like to be that person, and give back to a site that in the last three months has given me so much.

Out of the mouth of babes...

A young girl was on her first cross-country flight, alone. As the plane taxied down the runway, she became frightened, so she closed her eyes, bowed her head, and began to pray. A businessman sitting next to her waited until she was done, then casually leaned over to her and whispered, "That was nice, honey, but you KNOW God doesn't really exist, right?"

She turned to the man and said, "How do you know, mister?" To which he replied, "I'm an adult. We know things like that."

No Good Deed

No Good Deed

(c) 2017 Haylee V

It is often said, and highly misquoted, that no good deed ever goes unpunished. Yet I never thought

I'd find out how true that adage rang...

Comment request

I hope this post isn't violating some kind of site rule, but I need to make my fans and readers aware of something I think is quite critical.

When you read my blog(s) and/or stories, please either comment or PM me your thoughts. Some of you may not realize this, but I really DO READ your comments, and rely on them to gauge whether my writing is being well received, what points need to be addressed and/or expanded upon, and to glean further ideas. Your comments have helped- and continue to help- me develop into a better writer, and, in a way, help encourage me to continue.

An End to My Hiatus - New Story Teasers

OK, I've been too lazy for too long. I'm bored to tears, and want to touch base with my friends, fans, and dear, devoted readers. here's a glimpse into what I've been working on:

First, Smoky Corners. I plan to, EVENTUALLY, finish "Third Time's A Charm". Unfortunately, though, my muse for all things SC has fled to parts unknown, and I'm having significant trouble finding her again. when I do, I will post updates.

Second, I'm working on THREE new stories. One involves a new concept and possibly a new universe. The other two will be SOLO stories.

Haylee V's song dedications

Blog About: 


For Dorothy Colleen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5uWRjFsGc

Always keep your chin up, a smile on your face, and a song in your heart.

For Valerie Preston : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWUZpU1ThQo

You know why.

For Leila: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voNEgCKzves

12 words of wisdom


The things I've learned, from the people that matter most:

1) "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

2) "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins."

3) "A fool's name, like a fool's face, is always found in a public place."

4) "It's better to remain silent- and let the world think that you're an idiot- than to open your mouth and prove them right."

5) "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all."


Blog About: 


After having watched one of my favorite anime series yet again (I My Me! Strawberry Eggs), I can really feel for Hibiki Amawa-sensei.

I have a lot of sadness within me, and maybe a little too much bitterness that I need to deal with. I think, at times, we all have the ability to become bitter and calloused, if we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity and doubt. Well, I'm tired of just wallowing. Thanks to the person (you know who you are) that pointed out what I could not see- that I had begun to let the bitterness consume me. I don't want to become THAT person.

Going off grid


Due to my ongoing health issues, I've decided to take a short break and go "off grid". What this basically means is that I WILL be on site, but WILL NOT be responding to questions, comments, or messages until Sunday afternoon, Jan. 15. I apologize to all my friends, readers, and fans, but I really need this time for personal reflection and healing. Those few people in what I consider my "inner circle" know who they are (I hope), and know how to (and when to) contact me, if needed. I love you all, and will be back soon.

Haylee V

On being me


I am Veronica Haylee McSwain.

I am 47, and a transsexual.

I did not choose this role in life, yet I cannot shy away from it either.

I hurt. Often. And it's not a physical pain, but a pain of indifference, intolerance, and bigotry.

I do not want, nor do I have the unyielding need for, your acceptance.

I do, however, require your respect. Not because of WHAT I am, but rather because of WHO I am- a fellow human being.

Someone made my day today


I'm having a WONDERFUL day today, mentally. I was reading my site messages, and some (to protect her privacy) nameless individual actually asked for my opinion and advice on a story she's currently writing. i can't possibly even begin to express how empowered that made me feel!!! I just hope I was up to the task, and provided her with some information that will, ultimately benefit her. She really is a talented author, and I KNOW, without a doubt, that she will do well on this site. Thank you for putting your trust in me and my opinions. I hope I didn't disappoint you...



OK, so it's not Trans, or Smoky Corners, but here's something I wrote a few years ago. Enjoy.

"Requiem For the Deranged Poet"

(c) 2006

With neither rhyme nor reason
I cater to the call
And thrust my mighty ink-stained pen
Upon the parchment wall.

I dabble in the darkness vexed
And whittle words once wise
And quote the thoughts that I've annexed
Amid my mind's demise.

I can't remember things forgot
When I was but a lad
When jumbled thoughts ran cold and hot
Zounds! I've gone quite mad!!

Attention Smoky Corners Contributors



OK, so I now have two contributing authors writing stories for Smoky Corners. I consider crazypagangurl and Leila friends, and accomplished authors in their own rights, and am DEEPLY HONORED both chose to write such marvelous works that add depth to the universe I designed.

That being said, I must address something that will prove crucial to the survival of the Smoky Corners universe:


Subscribe to Haylee V