Haylee V

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Hi, all. Long time, no post, I know. The AFC house I'm in now has no internet, so...

I'm currently away from home, in Cincinnati (My AGT audition was today.)
I was contestant # 3203, and arrived on site at 10:30 AM (my scheduled audition time was 1:00 PM, but all that meant was that once I arrived, I was guaranteed an audition.)

There were a staggering number of singers, but I only met 1 other comedian there, so...

Today's Parable - 2017 - 09 - 21 - One Simple Candle

One Simple Candle

Haylee V

The clouds spread, dark and foreboding, over the expansive field. Soon, the little light that had been radiating in the late autumn day would completely be gone, as the sun set in the Western sky and the dusk spread its nocturnal blanket over the land.

Today's Parable - 2017 - 09 - 05 - The Scram-bacopanca-bagemuffi-biscandsausag-inator

The Scram-bacopanca-bagemuffi-biscandsausag-inator
(C) 2017
Haylee V

Once upon a time, and long before anyone had ever heard of such modern conveniences as electricity or microwaves or fast food restaurants, there lived an inventor named Thomas.

Now Thomas wasn't your ordinary kind of inventor- Heavens, no!- he liked to make complicated machines to perform simple tasks, like raking leaves or washing clothes or baking bread.

more silliness

Blog About: 


They say that to be forewarned is to be forearmed. But if you're four-armed, doesn't that make you some kind of mutant?

Can a bald man ever have a bad hair day?

Can a blind person ever see the light?

Can a deaf woman hear the news?

Proof carrots are good for you: Have you ever seen a blind rabbit?

Proof rabbit's feet are lucky: I've never seen a 3-legged rabbit.

Why is acting the only entertainment where breaking a leg is actually a good thing?

Working on sequel

Per the MANY requests and PMs I've received since it posted just a few days ago, I've decided to extend Why Me? to a full-fledged serial. I've begun work on a second chapter and, if my muse remains cooperative, will finish it and send it for editing (along with a new chapter of Dawn) some time tomorrow. I have lost the work I'd already completed on Demons 3.2, so a rewrite is needed, delaying its posting a few days. Since I have no therapy on the weekends, I should be able to catch up, provided my health holds up and I have no further setbacks.


Why Me?

OK, here's something I wrote a short time ago, and never really developed any further. Please let me know if it's any good or merits a sequel. Thanks! - Haylee

Why Me?
(c) 2017
Haylee V

Why me?

Now THAT'S the million-dollar question. Maybe I should explain...

=== === ===

Dawn of Love

Dawn of Love
(c) 2017
Haylee V


Matthew and Dawn had been friends for ages; ever since they first met at preschool. Very little could separate them. They did practically everything together and had sworn to each other to be best friends forever. They even shared the same birthday. Both would be thirteen tomorrow, and both would find out secrets that would alter their young lives drastically. It would cause a rift in their friendship that only the Gods would be able to fix.

Scheduled posting

I have a story currently being edited and will be posting the prologue as soon as it's finished being proofed, probably later today or early tomorrow. Work on Demons continues slowly, as the Journal has finished the proofreading phase and is ready to be published. The. song lyrics are complete as well, so only the chapter itself remains to be written and proofed. No work on Chronicles or Smoky Corners, as they are on my small netbook at home. Leila is still recovering and will be for awhile (please send her well wishes), so Mandela is on semi-permanent hiatus.

Please read and comment, guys and gals and others.

There are many on here, myself included, who have faced, are currently facing, or will eventually face severe crises in their lives. I think we, as a community of like-minded individuals, should have a contingency plan in place to support and aid our peers. I'd like to, with the permission of the moderators, form a support group where anyone, at any time, could come and safely find the support, understanding, and guidance they need to face life's challenges.

In the Face of It All

In The Face of It All
(c) 2017
Haylee V

Even though something inside is grieving
Laugh, clown, laugh!
- Abbey Lincoln


The clock on the wall silently ticked away as Francis sat on his bed, thinking. Just where, exactly, had things began to go wrong? When had his life began to horribly unravel?

Was it when he first realized, at four, that he was different from the other little boys in his play group?

Today's Parable - 2017 - 08 - 24 - It's Time To Go...

Today's parable is very special to me and is written from the depths of my heart. Given what I'm currently going through, I felt compelled to write about my experiences. It is deep, it is dark, but hopefully, will also be far-reaching and uplifting to those out there that need it. I hope you enjoy it. - Haylee V

It's Time To Go
(c) 2017
Haylee V

Jake sat in the hospital bed, tears streaming from his face as he digested the news: Stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma- the deadliest form of lung cancer. In less than a month, he would die.

Re: Goodbye


I must apologize to everyone on the site, I'm afraid. I didn't mean to trouble anyone. I've just had so much darkness in the last 3 weeks that I began to be absorbed into it. Although things aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, I do now feel that I have more than just 4 walls to stare at- I have the friends I've made here in the home and on BC, and can feel the love and prayers of you all. Hopefully one day, I'll be able to return it.

On writing Tarry Fails

Some readers have asked me if it's hard for me to write these. Since I am actually lysdexic, they come quite easily. The problem is finding one that hasn't been done already by Captain Sloopnagle or Archie Campbell or someone else.

As for the Parables, I write them backward, starting first with the moral I'm trying to get across and then developing the story to suit. THAT, my friends, is sometimes incredibly difficult for me to do.

Julio and Romyate - A Tarry Fail of Crar Lossed Stovers

OK, this one's just for richie2, by request. Enjoy!

Julio and Romyate - A Tarry Fail of Crar Lossed Stovers
(c) 2017
Haylee V

Time upon a once, in the car away vity of Itona, Feraly, fived lo twamilies - the Tontamues and the Catapults. Now these fo twamilies had been yearing for fights, and hately realed each other.

Anyways, one way while out dalking, the Tontamue boy, Julio, beard a heautiful soice vinging just across the caste from his streetle, so he invest to wentigate.

Question for my readers

Good Morning, all. It's 8 AM, EDT, and I'm sitting on the bed in my room, waiting for my day to begin. Yesterday was quite hectic- with doctors, therapy, my counseling session, and meets and greets with all the staff, my dietician, my social worker, etc. I must apologize, as this kinda sapped my energy (and caused my muse to temporarily run away in fright). I will try to post something today but am not making any firm guarantees. Work continues (albeit slowly) on Prance and my other vignettes.

What I'm currently working on


1:00 PM - Physical and Occupational Therapy until 3-ish
3:30 PM - Scheduled Group Activity
5:00 PM - Dinner

Between outings, I'm working on Chapters 1-3 of Prance, Chapter 3.2 of Demons, Chapter 0 of Smoky Corners: Origins, a chapter of both Crayola Chronicles and Mandela Shift, a Parable (or three, per Samantha's request - yes, I read it, luv :). Parable (and maybe a Tarry Fail) will be up by midnight EDT. Others will (hopefully) be submitted for editing in the next few days.

Today's Parable - 2017 - 08 - 21 - The Friend Unchosen

It appears Parable won out, so here you go!

The Friend Unchosen
(c) 2017
Haylee V

"God, I hate these damn crippled bums!" James exhaled, as he stumbled drunkenly down the alley. "All they ever do is beg for handouts. They're just a burden on society and good for nothing. They should all just be rounded up and put out of their miserable existence."

Need my readers' help today

OK, so I'm stuck here in rehab, bored to tears, and my muse wants desperately to write something. Only problem is that she can't decide what to write. So, I'll put it to a vote.

1) A nice Tarry Fail,
2) A Parable,
3) A Non-Canonical Smoky Corners Tale
4) Nothing. You write too much stuff anyway, and I can't understand most of it.
5) Who cares? Just write SOMETHING! I'm desperate to see what your warped mind comes up with today.
6) An Apology, for putting us through your daily silliness.

Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl - Chapter 3.1

Inner Demons - AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl
© 2017 Haylee V

* This is a true account of my life experiences. All persons portrayed in this story are based on actual people I've met throughout my life, and the events portrayed actually happened. No malice is intended to those individuals involved, and names have been altered to protect the identities of the people portrayed. *

Beeping Sleauty - The Tarry Fail


This tale is said to originate with Captain Sloopnagle, but has also been attributed to the late Archie Campbell. Any resemblance to either of their works is purely accidental, as this is meant to be my original take on the tale. No copyright infringement was intended or implied, either directly, or indirectly.

And now, on with the tale.

The Tagical Male of Beeping Sleauty
(c) 2017 Haylee V

Today's Punable - 2017 - 08 - 09 - The Bragging Accountant

The Bragging Accountant - A Punable
(C) 2017 Haylee V

Once upon a time, a very intelligent accountant was hired right out of college to manage the books for a major financier.

He was shown the computer system that housed all the company's financial data, and assured the CEO that he could fix their problems.

Today's Parable - 2017 - 08 - 09 - If I Had All the Gold...

If I Had All the Gold...
(c) 2017 Haylee V

Once upon a time, there lived a handsome, but very greedy and conceited prince. In fact, the only thing this prince loved more than himself was gold.

One day, while out strolling his vast kingdom, he happened to see a poor peasant getting ready to throw a basket into the river. Upon reaching the peasant, he realized the basket in question was filled to the brim with what appeared to be golden eggs!

"Wait!" said the prince. "Don't you know how valuable those eggs are?"

Stumpleriltskin - The Tarry Fail Version

Stumpleriltskin, A Tarry Fail
(c) 2017 Haylee V

Time upon a once, in a coreign fountry, pived a foor parmer and his daughtiful beauter. They were hoor but pappy in their call smottage.

Well, one day the foor parmer decided to casit the vistle of the kighty ming who countried the rule. In order to make himself imp more lookortant, the foor parmer told the kighty ming that his daughtiful beauter could spaw strold into gin.

Inner Demons, AKA Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl - Chapter 3

Inner Demons, AKA "Journals of an Angry Trans Gurl"
© 2017 Haylee V

* This is a true account of my life experiences. All persons portrayed in this story are based on actual people I've met throughout my life, and the events portrayed actually happened. No malice is intended to those individuals involved, and names have been altered to protect the identities of the people portrayed. *

Another Silly Joke

Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling checker;
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marks four my revue,
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word,
And weight four it two say,
Weather eye am wrong oar write;
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,
It nose bee fore two long.
And eye can put the error rite;
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Daily Silliness

After being oppressed so much by the people of his town, a man decided to forego the creature comforts the town afforded him and live a life of seclusion at a local monastery.

Upon meeting the Abbot, he is given the rules:

"You are allowed to say just two words now, and then must take a ten year vow of silence. This cycle will be repeated for as long as you stay here. Do you understand?"


"Then welcome. You may now speak your two words."

"Umm... OK."

The Day Jimmy Caught 'Cooties'

The Day Jimmy Caught 'Cooties'
(c) 2017 Haylee V

"Hey Jimmy! Come jump rope with us!" Eliza called out, her voice carrying over the den of the playground's noise.

"Careful, Jimmy," my friend Pete warned. "She's a girl, and girls have cooties. If you're not careful, you'll catch them and turn into a girl, too."

Sadly, I waved Eliza away, as tears formed in my eyes. I hung my head and turned away, as I began to slowly walk home.

Urgent request

OK, this is a strange request, I know, but you see, your Ms. Haylee here is a tad superstitious. and one of my stories has a read count that is very ominous. While I won't state the number, directly, it is mentioned in the Bible in the book of Revelation. So please, if anyone here on the site could humor me, give the story Smoky Corners 2A: Kim's Conundrum (Complete) a quick peek. Even if you just click on it and right back off, that will be enough. Thanks!

Fanfic Story Idea

Just curious if anyone else on site is a video game player like myself. I particularly loved Final Fantasy VII, and was thinking about doing a fanfic of it, based on Cloud Strife's forays into cross-dressing. Would anyone be interested in reading it if I developed a story arc?

Haylee V

Edit (02-AUG-17):

After reading all the comments, and the rather heated debate regarding backstory (or lack thereof), I have come up with the following opening. Please do me a favor by IM'ing me your feelings about it. Thanks!

Today's Parable - 2017 - 07 - 30 - How Deep Is Your Beauty?

How Deep Is Your Beauty?
(c) 2017
Haylee V

Once upon a time, a poor farmer married a beautiful princess. She was every bit as charming, graceful, and genteel on the inside as she was beautiful on the outside. The two were madly in love with each other, and even though the princess had to give up her right to the throne in order to marry such a commoner, she never once regretted her decision.

Airlines are crazy

OK, so I'm trying to get price quotes for a round trip ticket from Detroit, MI to Cincinnati, OH, a distance of 250 or so miles. Here's what I discovered:

A NONSTOP flight from DETROIT to CINCINNATI will cost $375 + taxes/fees and take 2 hours.

A ONE-STOP flight will cost $250 + taxes. Here are my options:

DETROIT to CHICAGO (O'HARE) (200 miles in the WRONG DIRECTION) to CINCINNATI - counting a 3 hour layover, 6 hours and 30 minutes

Beddy Tear and Runny Babbit - Yet Another Tarry Fail

Thrice upon two times, and a very short time from now, there viled in the Fark Dorest a Beddy Tear maned Jack. (I think what you're knowing. Jack's an odd fame nor a Beddy Tear, but this is sty mory, so nyah!)

Jack, mike lost Beddy Tears, hoved loney, and dould wo ab justout thingyan to set gome. He heard that a Runny Babbit rown the doad bad a hunch, so Jack secided to deal stome.

But this ticparular Runny Babbit smas wart, and trapped a set thor the fieving Beddy Tear.

Loldiegocks and the Bree Thears - Another Tarry Fail

Loldiegocks and the Bree Thears - Another Tarry Fail
(c) 2017, androt caes
Haylee V

Twice upon a time, in a dingkom nearer than you think, lived bree thears: a boppa thear, a bomma thear, and a bittle laby thear. They happed lively in the Fark Dorest (the same one of Riddle Lead Hiding Wood fame).

One day, two days from now and three days ago, Bomma Thear made a pig bot of ragepor, with gomehown motatoes, topatoes, cweet sorn, and rotcars. Yep, it was gite a quood stot of pew.

How I define myself

If anyone has read my work on site, (s)he can certainly see that I am (or at least my muse is) a quite unusual person. I would guess the one word that would define me best is eclectic. You see, I, first and foremost, am NOT a gifted author, as so many on this site are. Writing for me is both a passion and, at times, an intense struggle. I have no style that I can truly call my own, and have had very little training (save the one Creative Writing class I took way back in high school - back when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth).

A last bit of WEIRDNESS before calling it a night

Once upon a time, an old country doctor was visiting a sick patient on his farm. As he was leaving, he happened to see an old, boarded up well, which piqued his curiosity. Naturally, he wondered why it was boarded up, so he went over to remove the obstruction. Alas, he accidentally fell in. For two days, the farmer and his friends tried to get the good doctor out, finally succeeding as the sun was setting. The curious doctor had learnedaval uable lessonand, never again let his curiosity run away with him.


Riddle Lead Hiding Wood - A Tarry Fail

Riddle Lead Hiding Wood - A Tarry Fail

(c) 2017 Haylee V

Once upon a time, in a feautiful borest, nived a gall smirl lamed Riddle Lead Hiding Wood. Ve shas a wery checocious prild, and always core a right thed brape, nus wer hame.

One may, ber dother asked her to err a runnand hor fer.

"Tease plake bis thasket of toodies yo gour mandgra," she asked. "Be is red-shidden and theeds nem to beel fetter."

"KO," peried Riddle Lead Hiding Wood. "I'll mo motorrow gorning, as it is lite quate."

The Twoderful Story of Cinderella - An Inflationary Tale

Author's Note:

Perhaps one of the greatest comedic pianists of our time, the "Clown Prince of Denmark" Victor Borge was known for inventing what he called "Inflationary Language". It's premise was simple: to every word that included a number or number sound, he simply added one to that part. Thus, wonderful became TWOderful, before became beFIVE, created became beNINEd, and so fifth. Here is my take on a classic Grimm's fairy tale, Cinderella. I hope you enjoy it.

Haylee V

A heart-felt thanks


There are many people on this site that I am happy to call friends. Some work behind the scenes here at BC, and their talents often go unrecognized or acknowledged. Therefore, I ask for your indulgence while I give a select few their due accolades.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank Erin. Without her, there would be no BC, period.


Hope no one missed me too much. Some things have happened, and I needed to "get away" for awhile. I'll be on and off some, until I make my more permanent return sometime in the fall. My love to all.

Haylee V

PS: I'm looking for someone interesting who would like to be featured in a non-canonical Smoky Corners tale, like I have written for Dorothy Colleen, Joanne Barbarella, and AuPreviner. If anyone is interested, please send me a PM. The Daily Parables will resume when I am able to fully return to the site.

Today's Parable - 2017 - 06 - 14 - Reaping the Harvest

It seems to me that in the past week or so, several GOOD PEOPLE I know have suffered tragic losses. Some have lost health or wealth. Some have lost dear friends or loved ones. Some have lost happiness and hope, or even the very will to go on another step. Today's parable is dedicated to all of you, with my undying love. -- Haylee V

Reaping the Harvest

A farmer had two sons, who were always trying to one-up each other. Whatever the younger one would try to do, the elder would try to do better, or harder, or longer, and vice versa.


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