Cigarettes Are A Girl's Best Friend

by slimv

 

Part 4

 

 

"I think you've made terrific progress," said Dr. Doyle as she leaned back in her chair and studied the expressions on the faces of the mother and daughter sitting in front of her. Her experience had taught her that what a client didn't say was as important as what they did say. She had the uncanny ability of being able to extract hidden information from her clients by studying their facial expressions and body language.

Carol was energetic and could hardly contain her self as she talked about her daughter's first date. It was obvious to Dr. Doyle that the mother was reliving her life through her daughter as mothers often do.

Katie, on the other hand, was clearly confused about his new feminine feelings. Much of the confusion could be attributed to the introduction of hormones to his body. He was also experiencing grief over the gradual loss of his male identity and the shrinkage of his already slight penis. And last but not least, his heterosexual programming was at odds with his new situation.

"So tell me Katie, how did Brent react to your smoking?

"He liked it a lot I think. He kept telling me how mature it made me look and he was always lighting my cigarettes."

"How did you feel when he lit your cigarettes? Did you enjoy the attention?"

"It was great. It made me feel sexy and kind of powerful. It was weird cause he's so much bigger and stronger than me but when I was smoking I felt like I could make him do any thing."

"You said he's an athlete, so I assume he doesn't smoke. I suspect his parents wouldn't allow it. You also mentioned that his mother smokes, so I would expect him to associate smoking with female superiority. I'm not surprised in the least that he is attracted to your smoking. Because of his upbringing, he has a great amount of respect for you. Tell me Katie. How does this power and respect make you feel?"

"I love it. No one ever treated me like that when they thought I was a boy. I felt so grown-up when I was with him."

Dr. Doyle raised her eyebrows and told Katie his comments were very interesting. "Yet, you're still bothered about losing your male parts. I would think you'd be biting at the bit for a complete sex change. It sounds as if your life as a female is much better than it was when you were completely male."

"It is. I love dressing like a girl. I love having breasts. I like the way people treat me cause they think I'm Katie. It's just that I kind of wonder what it would be like to use my penis. I don't know what I'm going to be missing and that bothers me. I think I really want to be a girl someday but I keep thinking it's going to bother me if never know what it was like to be a guy."

"So what you're saying is that you want to have sex with a female to know what it's like to be a male."

Katie bowed his head and looked away.

"Wanting to have sex is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure your mother told you that sexual desires are normal, natural and instinctual. Wanting sex is a part of being human. Sex is a basic human need. So please don't feel embarrassed about this."

"Katie, look at me when I'm talking. I'm going to be blunt. Carol, I want you to hear this too. Katie, I'm 100% convinced that your future happiness depends on your ability to forge good relationships with men as a woman. That means you won't find happiness as a lesbian. You're heterosexual and you need to feel good about your feelings for Brent and other young men that will become a part of your life as a woman. However, I'm also convinced that you need to get this male wild hair out of your system. I think you need to have sex with a woman."

"How is that possible Dr. Doyle," asked Carol? "Katie has breasts and in case you haven't noticed, they're huge! What girl in her right mind would have sex with him looking the way he does now?"

"First of all Carol, Katie doesn't need a girl. You're right. It would be impossible to find a girl his age that would willing to engage in such an encounter. Katie needs an experienced older woman who can show him the ropes while maintaining a professional consideration for his emotions. With circumstances as they are, I feel it would be appropriate if you allowed Katie to have sex with a prostitute."

"A prostitute," shouted Carol! "You want my daughter to have sex with a whore? Do you realize how dangerous and unhealthy that is?"

"I admit there are risks involved, but the only other alternative I can fathom is incest. Would you being willing to have intercourse with Katie?" She looked at Katie and asked, "Would you be willing to have sex with your mother?"

Katie didn't answer, but Carol did. "Yes! I'd be willing. He was my son and now he's my daughter. I love her more than life itself and I will do anything necessary to ensure her happiness."

"Very well then," said Dr. Doyle. "Do it tonight. I'll have my secretary make an appointment for a follow up visit tomorrow afternoon so we can discuss the event and it's implications."

*****

Katie followed his mother to her bedroom, the place where his transformation had begun. It was ironic that this was the room in which his manhood would be experienced for the first and last time. Carol closed the door behind them. She had two packs of Virginia Slims and a lighter in her hand. The look on her face was both grave and loving.

"How do you feel," she asked?

"I'm scared Mom."

"Are you sure you want to do this? Do you think it will bother you?"

"I got to know what it's like Mom. I'm just sorry it's got to be you."

"Don't worry about that Honey. Believe me. This isn't going to painful for either of us. And if it makes you feel better, I used to fantasize about making love to you when you were a boy. I know that sounds awful, but I needed to tell you so you'll know I'm kind of looking forward to this."

Katie's eyes grew large. "No shit? Me too!"

"What," asked Carol? "You used to fantasize about making love to me too?" A smile that reflected Katie's formed on her lips. "Come on," she said. "Lets get undressed and have a cigarette while we talk about this."

Mother and daughter sat naked on the bed smoking cigarettes as they admired each other's bodies with their eyes and hands. The situation, once tense and guilt ridden had become fun and lighthearted. The uncovered knowledge of each other's hidden passions had given them courage and peeked their curiosity in each other.

Katie placed his hands on his mother's breasts and she did the same to his. He kneaded them between his fingers and played with her nipples. It was the first time he had ever touched breasts other than his own. The fact they belonged to his mother made the moment even more special. His mother wasn't young, but she was still attractive. Her breasts, even though they sagged from age, still held great appeal to him.

"I remember when you used to nurse from them," said Carol. "You were such a beautiful baby. Even then I imagined you as my daughter. Would you like to suck Mommy's breasts again Honey."

Katie grunted yes.

"Put your cigarette out first. I don't want to get burned."

Katie took another puff from his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray. He positioned himself low on the bed so his face was directly in front of his mother's right breast. She drew on her cigarette as his mouth engulfed her swollen nipple. He felt her hand upon his head, stroking and petting him as if he were her lap dog.

"That feels so nice Baby. You're sucking Mommy so good. It feels just like it did when you were nursing. But now you have teeth," she giggled as she pulled his head off her breast so that they were face to face.

Katie watched as his mother lifted the Virginia Slim to her lips. He watched as the tip of her cigarette glowed red. She pulled it away and without inhaling touch her mouth to his. He felt her soft lips lock on top of his and tasted the smoke as she gently blew it into his mouth while bathing his tongue with hers. He had no choice other than to inhale, and as he did he felt his small penis stiffen.

"Did you like that," asked Carol? "Bobby calls it sharing smoke. It drives him wild."

"I thought he didn't," smoke said Katie. He was still dizzy from his mother's passionate smoky kiss.

"Let's just say he's addicted to my kisses," giggled Carol.

"Do you think Brent would like that if I did it to him?"

"Why do you think I showed you," asked Carol? "But whatever you do, don't let him take up smoking on his own. If he asks you for a cigarette, tell him no."

"Why?"

"Because it could demystify the feminine experience for him. It's all about that power you were telling Dr. Doyle about. You could lose some of that power you have over him if he starts smoking on his own."

Katie picked up the pack of Virginia Slims and joined her mother in a cigarette. "Mom, I've been wondering. You didn't get mad at me the day you caught me smoking and wearing your clothes. I know you didn't believe me when I said I wanted to dress up for Halloween as Cruella DeVille. But I was wondering. Would you have let me smoke if all of this hadn't happened- if I was still a boy?"

Carol took a deep drag from her cigarette as she pondered her daughter's question. "No Katie, I wouldn't have. I've never been attracted to men that smoke. I don't know why and I can't explain it but it's how I feel. I'd be ashamed to have a son that smokes. But when I saw you wearing my clothes and smoking my cigarettes, I saw the daughter I could never have but always wanted."

"Don't get me wrong. I think smoking is very unhealthy. Neither of us should do it, but then again, neither of us are ever going to quit. But there are some very positive aspects to the habit as I believe you're finding out for your self with Brent."

"Dogs may be man's best friend Katie, but cigarettes are a girl's best friend. They're almost like the perfect food; zero calories, zero carbs. They taste wonderful and make us look sexy. They help us maintain our weight. They relax us and stimulate us and help us deal with stress. They give us something to do with our hands while we talk on the phone. You probably knew all that. But what you probably didn't know is that cigarettes and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. Smoking during sex will amplify and enhance a woman's orgasm and it drives men wild with passion."

"Really," asked Katie as she took a drag from her own cigarette?

"Oh yes," said Carol. "And you're about to experience it first hand, right after me of course. Now lie on your stomach and put your head between my thighs. I want you to get your face right up next to my vagina so that you're kissing my clitoris. I'm going to teach you how a man pleasures a woman with his mouth."

Katie followed his mother's instructions and positioned his head between his mother's thighs. His mother's vaginal aroma was pungent but rather pleasant as well. It was the first time in his life he had ever seen a real vagina and he was in awe of it. He rubbed his fingers against her course pubic hair.

"It's beautiful Mommy."

"I'm glad you like it Honey. Maybe someday you can have one just like it. Ok Darling. Mommy is going to start smoking now," she said as she lit a cigarette. "And she wants you to lick her clitoris lips with your tongue."

"What's a clitoris look like?"

"It's folds of pink skin shaped like a lip. There's a little nub inside and it's going to make me feel real nice when you touch it with your tongue."

Katie shifted on his stomach and stretched his neck. He recoiled slightly from the taste of his mother's flesh. It was acrid and somewhat salty, but his excitement and hers drove him forward.

"Oh yes, Honey! Just like that. Keep licking Mommy just the way you're doing. Oh Baby, it feels so good. Don't stop. Whatever you do don't stop until Mommy tells you too," she said as she pulled hard on her cigarette.

She wiggled her hips and squirmed against his mouth for five or six minutes and suddenly stopped. The pause was only momentary. And then Katie felt his mother's hips lurch against his face. Her legs clamped down on his head like a vice and heard her scream his praises to God.

When it was over, he lifted his head and propped himself up. His mother was laid out beneath him, spent, her half burned cigarette dangled from her lips. His face was wet with his saliva and her juices. He wiped his face on the sheet and lay beside his mother who told him how wonderful he was as she finished her cigarette.

Carol took a drag from her cigarette and held the filter to Katie's lips so he could share a puff. "You'd make a wonderful lesbian," she said as she exhaled a lungful of smoke. "But that would break my heart, so no more women for you after tonight."

Katie took his mother's spent cigarette from her lips and put it out in the ashtray. He sat up and lit two more, one for each of them. He was proud of himself. He had brought a woman to orgasm. The fact that the woman was his mother sweetened his sense of accomplishment.

"Stay right there," said Carol as she got to her knees. "I'm going to show you something else you can do with Brent."

Katie looked down and watched as his mother took a deep drag from her cigarette and exhaled her smoke against his stiff little penis. As small as it was, it was still throbbing hard.

"That's so neat," he said.

"I thought you'd like it," she told him. She took another puff and did it again, putting her cigarette out in the ashtray afterwards. "OK," she said. "Turn about is fair play, so now I'm going to do for you what you did for me. I'm going to suck on your penis while you smoke. You're going to sense the orgasm right before it hits and before it does, I want you take a big puff and hold the smoke in your lungs without exhaling until you cum. OK?"

Katie nodded as his body tensed in anticipation. "Should I tell you before I cum so my stuff doesn't get in your mouth?"

"Your stuff is called sperm and I want it. You just lay back, relax, and leave the driving to me."

Carol smiled as she took Katie's stiff little penis between her fingers and lowered her mouth on it. It was so small and cute- nothing like Bobby's. She heard him groan in pleasure as her tongue worked it's magic on his little member. She couldn't see her daughter's breasts from between his legs. Her daughter was for all practical purposes her son as she engulfed his small penis.

Carol was an experienced cock sucker and Katie exploded in her mouth before he was halfway through with his cigarette. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the spent look on his face. "Better than your hand," she asked?

Even though he was young, Carol knew he needed time to recoup before continuing. She used that time to discuss what she had done for him while they cuddled and shared a cigarette.

"So what do you think Katie? Did it feel good when I sucked your penis?"

"Mom, it felt wonderful. I don't know what to say. It was incredible!"

"Do you think it would bother you to suck a boy's penis if you really liked him?"

"I don't know Mom. I like Brent a lot. But I don't know if I like him like a friend or like a boyfriend. It still seems weird to think about doing something like that to another guy. Something about it doesn't seem right."

"OK. If you were a boy do you think you and Brent would have any thing in common? Would the two of you be friends?"

"No way," said Katie. "He'd hate me if I were a guy."

"It felt good when he kissed you didn't it? You told me you saw fireworks and your toes curled. Why do you think you felt that way?"

"I don't know. It bothered me. It felt good but it shouldn't have because it wasn't right. I shouldn't have let him kiss me and I shouldn't have kissed him back. That was wrong Mom."

"It wasn't wrong Katie. It was nature defeating nurture. You're an attractive girl and he's an attractive boy. You have sexual feelings for each other and there's nothing wrong or abnormal about that. I was so happy when you told me about him kissing you, and holding your hand, and lighting your cigarettes. He likes you and he treats you with respect. When he looks at you, he doesn't see a boy. He sees you and you're a beautiful girl. I wish you could see your self that way."

"I bet he'd like it if I sucked his penis wouldn't he? It felt so good when you did it to me. I do like him Mom and I'd like to make him feel good."

"Helping a boy to feel good is only a part of it Honey. Oral sex or any kind of sex between two people should be taken seriously. It's not recreation and it shouldn't be casual. Sex with the wrong person for the wrong reasons can be degrading. I didn't feel degraded when I sucked your penis. I don't feel that way when I'm with Bobby. It's a very intimate expression of love."

"I know that Mom. I wasn't a slut when I was a boy and I'm not a slut now."

"That's good. I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page. And I want you to know that if you have feelings for Brent, and if he's as nice as he appears, well, it wouldn't bother me if you shared your self sexually with him. I think it would be good for you."

"I understand Mom. I'll think about it, OK? Thanks for doing this for me. I know it was kind of weird but it meant a lot to me. I guess we should get of bed now, or at least I should."

"Not so fast Katie. I thought you wanted to use your penis to make to love to a woman."

"You'll do that for me?"

"Oh yes. I want you to know what it's like for a guy and I want you to think about me as well, so you'll know what to expect if you become a full woman."

Katie grinned. "Are you going to smoke like you did when I used my mouth?"

Carol answered his question with a smile as she laid back and lit a cigarette.

"Alright Honey. Get on top of me like you're doing push-ups. You need to get your penis over my vagina. That's it. Good. You're doing so good Honey."

Carol reached down and found Katie's small penis with her hand and guided it to her vagina."

The sight of his mother lying naked beneath him smoking her cigarette was candy to his eyes and food for his erection. His jaw dropped when he made penetration. His penis was so small; the expression on his face was the only way his mother could tell for certain that he was inside her.

"That's good Honey. Now move your hips and bounce around. You know what I'm talking about. Just do what makes you feel good."

Human instinct took over and Katie began to buck his hips as he inhaled the sight and fumes of his mother smoking beneath him. It was over almost as soon as it started. He arched his back, threw back his head, groaned and then collapsed on his mother's naked body.

"How was it," asked Carol as they shared a cigarette?

Katie exhaled a lungful of smoke and wiped his brow. "Amazing. It was absolutely incredible Mom!"

"I'm glad you liked it Honey."

"Was it good for you too? You didn't look like you had an orgasm like you did when I used my mouth."

Carol leveled her eyes on the remnants of her son. "I'm going to be perfectly honest with you Honey and I don't want you to get upset about it. Your penis is too small to sexually satisfy a woman."

Katie deflated. He looked down at his penis. Even erect it was less than four inches. The only thing it was good for was pissing and jacking off. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be sorry Honey. It's not your fault. It's the way you were born. It pains me to hurt your feelings, but you're my child and I want what's best for you. You should think of it as one more reason to finish what you started and become the woman you should have been born as."

*****

Dr. Doyle listened as Katie described the sexual experience with his mother. As she had expected, the experience had helped him come to terms with his diminishing male attributes. It had made him more receptive to the potential of his female side.

"Your mother did you a favor by not sugar coating the truth Katie. I know how much it must have hurt to hear her say it, but she's right. Your penis is pathetic. No girl in her right mind would want to be with you because you're incapable of satisfying her sexual needs. But as a woman you could satisfy both your self and your male partner's."

"So I'd still have orgasms if I had a vagina. It would feel the same as if I had a penis?"

Dr. Doyle smiled at Katie. "No Dear. It would feel better than that."