Part 2 of 3

Sunday, September 13

The day dawned bright and clear. The outlook was for above average temperatures. Despite my misgivings, I was looking forward to getting out, and a water park sounded like great fun. The laid-back experience last night had settled my nerves, and I was feeling more confident.

Amy lived up to her threat as she handed me a very skimpy patriotic red, white and blue bikini. I looked at it and decided I might look more demure if I was stark naked!

"Amy!" She just grinned and held up the bikini she would be wearing, which was at least as revealing, in a rich emerald green.

Amy helped me paste the gaff in place, then I got into the bikini to make sure my fake parts were either covered or looked real. Amy approved the look with a huge grin. I covered the suit with really short shorts, and a halter top that tied below my boobs. I loved Amy showing off her body. Now I got to do it for her! We tossed some towels in a beach bag, added some panties for after and a couple tubes of suntan lotion, donned our sunglasses, and headed out.

The ride to the park was uneventful, apart from the appreciative looks we got from men along the way. Being the last day of the season, the parking lot was pretty full when we arrived, and I knew there would be a big crowd all day. We found a shady spot on some grass to spread out towels and park our stuff. Amy quickly stripped down to her bikini. I nervously looked around before slowly following suit. I noticed several high school aged boys were having trouble staying on course as they walked past. I pretended not to notice, but gave my hips a little extra shimmy as I worked the shorts down, and hid a grin. But Amy noticed, and giggled at me.

That kind of set the tone for the day. As we roamed the park, trying the various water attractions, I watched Amy and tried to imitate her actions. She was not being particularly flirty, but she sure wasn't hiding her body, either. Occasionally Amy would notice me observing and imitating, so she would spice things up a bit for a few minutes, to see if I would reciprocate. At first, I was too shy, but as the day wore on, I loosened up, and by late in the afternoon, whenever Amy put on one of these shows, I would try to top her, without being too brazen.

Several times during the day, we worked the suntan lotion into each others body. I really enjoyed the feeling of stroking the lotion over all of Amy's exposed flesh. I loved the feel of her hands all over me, too. Sometime in the afternoon, when Amy picked up the lotion bottle, a man sitting with a friend near us offered to apply the lotion for her. She quickly glanced at me, and when I didn't immediately react, she grinned and turned to him saying "Sure." So he and his friend came over and introduced themselves as Peter and Jacob. Do all of these pairs of hunks get turned out of the same molds? This could just as well have been Jack and Kevin from the other night.

Amy lay down on her tummy, and Jacob squirted some lotion in his hand, and started smoothing it over Amy's back. He worked gently from her ankles working upward, massaging the lotion into Amy's tanned skin. I heard Peter clear his throat, and tore my eyes away from my wife to see what he wanted. He motioned for me to lie down beside Amy. I glanced quickly at her, then shrugged my shoulders and did so, turning my head toward Amy so I could keep an eye on Jacob's wandering hands. Soon I felt Peter start on my back as well. It was so weird! This was so different than having Amy smooth the lotion on me. Peter used his big strong hands to really work the lotion into my skin, and to work the tension out of the muscles at the same time. I let out a little sigh, and let my eyes drift shut. He worked upward, and seemed to spend a little too much time when he reached my upturned bottom, working around the edge of the all too scarce material of my bikini. I started to squirm a little, and tense, so he quickly moved on.

As he got to my upper back, I could feel him sliding his hands up under the thin string of my bikini top, then suddenly it was undone and moved off to the side. I flinched slightly, but Peter seemed oblivious, and just used the extra access to make sure he covered my back evenly, working up to my shoulders, and then down first one, then the other arm. As he worked down the arms, he 'accidentally' brushed against the sides of my breasts, but I couldn't tell if it was intentional. He didn't take further advantage, just continued his steady progress, so I chose to ignore it.

When Peter finished, he tapped me on the shoulder, and I looked up at him to see what he wanted, remembering to keep my chest pressed to the ground so I wouldn't lose my unfastened top. He motioned for me to turn over. I glanced at Amy to see she already had, and that Jacob was working his way up her long lithe legs. I reached behind me to retie the bikini, but Peter brushed my hands aside and did it for me. I think he was hoping I would forget.

Peter had started working up my legs as well, when I heard Amy say "Thank-you, Jacob, I think I can finish now." I looked over and saw that Jacob was getting a mite close to treasure land, but Amy was reaching for the bottle of lotion. Jacob gave it to her, and sat back on his haunches to watch Amy finish the job. I did the same with Peter when he came too close for comfort. We finished our task under the watchful eyes of Jacob and Peter. When we finished, Amy thanked them again, and they replied that it was their pleasure.

Peter then suggested they buy us an ice cream cone, and Amy accepted. Each guy pulled their respective lady to her feet and guided us to a nearby building with their hands in the small of our backs. I was uncomfortable with that, but since Amy allowed it, I did too.

After ice cream, they suggested walking around the park together to try a few of the rides. Amy agreed, but when they tried to take our hands, we demurred, and Amy and I walked hand-in-hand between them. We tried several slides, often with Amy and I sharing a mat or inner tube, but the guys managed to maneuver us into riding with them on a couple. I thought it would be very uncomfortable to have Peter's arms around me as we rode the slide, but strangely, it was not too bad.

On the super-fast slide, we had to ride individually. They really should put a warning sign up on those rides, because I popped out of my top when I hit the pool at the bottom. I had an embarrassing few moments as I tried to get myself covered again, and blushed brightly at the round of applause from the crowd around the slide. I was mortified, and wanted to run and hide, but Amy grabbed my hand and hugged me, then we walked slowly away, with Peter and Jacob following.

We had spent a long time in the sun, so we said our farewells to the boys, collected our belongings, and headed out to the car.

Monday, September 14

Monday, I once again helped Amy prepare for work. She had me do her hair for her, and I suggested a different blouse to go with the skirt she had chosen. She looked at me and smiled. "We'll make a lady out of you yet, girlie!"

I just grinned back. At least some parts of this were really fun!

After Amy left for work, I checked in with work, and found that testing had turned up a few flaws in my work. I spent the next several days buried in my code, figuring out where I went wrong, and developing a fix for the problem. That didn't leave me much time for anything else. I had the revised code finished and tested to the best of my ability by Thursday afternoon.

I did find time each morning to take a break for a walk. After all, I still had a couple of inches to work or diet off before Halloween.

Tuesday, September 15

On Tuesday's walk I came across Paul sitting on the same bench as before, and once again he rose and started pacing me.

"Hello again. Nice to see you out again. I haven't noticed you out for the last week."

I smiled a little shyly, and answered "Nope, it's been a pretty busy week. I only walked one other time last week, and then again yesterday."

Paul smiled, and said "I see we're making progress here. Last week I was a strange man, and now I must be a friend, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me. Remember mommy's orders!"

He was right. I was making progress. Just over a week ago I had nearly run for my life when a stranger talked to me. And look at me now. I returned a crooked grin and said "Well, maybe not a friend yet, but at least a little bit less strange!"

"What, me strange?" and cackled with a mad scientist laugh and a really twisted expression on his face. I couldn't help it, I giggled.

"That's better." He said. "You really should try to smile more. Don't want any frown lines marring that pretty face, now, do we?"

"Oh, my heavens, we couldn't have that! But don't worry, this is just a borrowed face, so we don't have to sweat that particular problem. My fairy godmother will be taking it back soon."

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just proving that I was even stranger than you!"

"It will take a lot more than that to make that particular proof!" was his reply.

"So what is it you do that allows you to be out walking this time of day?" he asked.

Again, Jamie girl, stick to the truth when possible! "I am a computer consultant, and right now I am in a lull between phases of a contract. And what is it you do? How is it you can be out here now?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm one of those hotshot desk jockeys for SammaTech, downtown. I have an agreement with my boss that I have to keep my hours under 80 a week, unless we are in a bind. That often lets me have free time in the mornings. Just your typical workaholic, trying to keep in a little bit of shape."

I gazed intently up and down his hard body. "Looks like you do OK!" I smirked.

We continued around the park, chatting about inconsequentials, me eventually too short of breath to talk much, but Paul having no problem. I envied him his fitness.

When we got to the place I had to split off on the path to return home, I told him goodbye. He asked if he would see me out walking again, and when. I answered "Oh, maybe."

When I got home, I stripped down to the unremovable corset that I was hardly noticing any more. I was also wearing the gaff to get used to it, and to show the right body lines under my walking clothes. Since I couldn't bathe, I gave myself a sponge bath to hold me till Amy got home.

I walked every morning that week, but only saw Paul one other time. That day the conversation came even easier. Well, I mused, I guess I really am making some progress.

Thursday, September 17

By Thursday afternoon, I had my work to the point I was ready to turn it back to the testers, but decided I could wait for morning. I cleaned myself up, applied makeup in the sexiest way I knew how, donned a lacey black bra and panty set, garter belt, and black stockings. I covered it with the sheerest robe Amy had, and went to the kitchen to fix a romantic dinner for my wife.

When she walked through the door, I was waiting, and pulling her to me, breast to breast, I gave her the most passionate kiss we had shared all week.

"Mmmmm. That was nice! Wow, look at you! Sexy!" So I repeated the kiss. "So what's the occasion?"

"Oh, I've just been too tied up all week fixing my coding problem to pay you the attention you deserve, so I want to make it up to you."

"OK." And she gave me one of those searing kisses in return.

"Let's eat."

"Later." She said, and tugged me toward our bedroom.

When we got there, I told her to stand still, then proceeded to slowly open buttons, and remove bits of clothing, stroking each inch of revealed skin as I went. As I knelt and removed her pantyhose, I could smell her arousal. Amy was already breathing rapidly, whispering to hurry. But I refused to be rushed. When I removed her bra, I caught teasingly at her jutting nipples with my teeth, evoking a moan from deep in her throat. I lavished attention on her beautiful breasts for a while, causing her to shiver. I suddenly sucked one nipple and as much of the breast as possible into my mouth, lashing the nipple with my tongue. At the same time I tweaked and lightly twisted her other nipple. Amy gasped, and shuddered through an orgasm.

I helped her remain standing, still pleasuring her breasts, until she came down from her high. I kissed my way down her body to her now soaked panties, her only remaining clothing. Continuing to stroke and lightly brush her body, I eased her panties down and had her step out of them. I kissed back up her legs, the front, the sides, the sensitive flesh on the inside of her thighs. She spread her legs to afford better access. When I reached her love nest, I attacked, delving deeply between her nether lips, then sweeping forward across her clit, only to return and repeat. After a minute or two, she again exploded into climax. This time she could not remain upright, and I caught her as she slid bonelessly toward the floor, sweeping her up and onto the bed.

I lay beside her for a while, touching here, kissing there, scratching lightly elsewhere, trying to prolong her euphoric feelings. As she roused, I felt her had start to stroke my leg. As she recovered more, her hands gained momentum, until both were engaged and racing across any part of my body she could reach. She reared up and slammed me on my back on the bed, then ripped my panties off, swung across me, and impaled herself on my raging hard-on. She moved like a wild woman, up and down, side to side, back and forth. She froze and shuddered through her third orgasm, then started bucking furiously again. I could not take it any more, and erupted inside her, emitting squeaks and moans. When I had finished, and was just starting to soften within her, she came again, for the longest time. Then she collapsed on top of me.

We both lay in a daze for a few minutes while our labored pulse and rasping breathing slowed. Amy pushed herself up so she could look down into my face, keeping my limp member within her.

"I don't know what it is about you like this that turns me on so much." She mused quietly. "Whatever it is, I wish we could bottle it to use when this is over."

"So you kinda like this, huh?"

"Yes. Oh, god, yes. A million times yes."

I pouted sexily "Maybe you don't want me to go back! Maybe you want to keep me as your sexy slut forever."

She grinned at me. "I don't know, sounds like maybe you're the one that wants to stay a sexy slut, if you ask me!"

I shuddered beneath here and said "Don't you even think it!"

"Come on, lets go eat that dinner you made for us, then maybe I can get another crack at you tonight while I still have you as my sexy lesbian."

I slipped my panties back on, and she donned a similar robe to mine, without lingerie, so I continually got tantalizing glimpses of breast, pussy, and delightfully rounded derriere.

We ate a romantic, only slightly overdone, dinner by candlelight, sipping chilled wine, talking about us, our days, this challenge, whatever topic came to mind. We touched hands across the table, and gazed into each others eyes. After the chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert, we just left the mess for the morning and once again retired to our room.

We lovingly stripped each other until the only clothing between us was my red corset. We touched and kissed, licked and tweaked, nipped and caressed, gently bringing us from our earlier mild arousal to nearly fever pitch. Amy lovingly led me to the bed and eased me down onto my back, with my feet resting on the floor. She slowly knelt between my legs, murmured "My turn." to me, and hungrily sucked my stiffening tool into her mouth. Her pace was slow at first, licking around, side to side, down nearly to the base and back up. She slowly brought my aroused member to steel hardness. Speeding up slightly, she continued to minister to me until she felt me stiffen, then backed off, kissing the tip, my thighs, my stomach, and moving up to suckle my breasts, letting my urgency fade, but keeping me frustratingly aroused. My nipples were so much more sensitive that her loving almost pushed me over the top anyway, but she recognized my labored breathing and moved on to other exquisite tortures. After a time, she moved slowly back down, once again engulfing me, and repeated the process. Any time I tried to touch her, to give her pleasure, she gently brushed my hands aside, saying "Not now, now it's my turn." She repeated this four more times, each time pushing me to the edge, then backing off. Each time I begged more desperately for release, but she continued to torment me.

Finally, the last time, when I expected her to back off again, she did not, continuing to enflame my cock until I exploded in her mouth. She stayed with me, licking, sucking, squeezing, until I softened. She then crawled up me and kissed my painted lips greedily. Her tongue invaded my mouth, and then was followed by my come that she hadn't swallowed! She was feeding me my own come! But I was too drained, yet still aroused, to protest, and just swallowed what she gifted me with. Such a strange flavor for a bodily fluid, tangy, slightly salty, not at all like what I tasted from Amy. Not unpleasant, though.

Amy finally ended the deep kiss, pulled back to look at me, and said "Now you are almost a woman. Welcome, my love."

After snuggling a while, we both rose, Amy removed my corset, and we showered together. After patting each others various parts, erogenous and otherwise, dry, and dusting with scented powder, Amy once again bound me, this time with her white corset, as my red one was long overdue for washing. Amy pulled out the tape measure, and told me "You are now the proud owner of a 21" waist." The corset didn't even feel uncomfortably tight anymore.

Friday, September 18

After Amy was off to work, I cleaned up the dinner mess from the prior night, then spent an hour packaging and transmitting my code updates back to the test group. That left me at loose ends for the day.

After that a walk — I made the circuit twice today, so I guess my walking was doing some good. Another sponge bath, and I attached the gaff, added simple lingerie, pantyhose, and dressed in one of Amy's skirts and blouses that I liked. Then, I drove across town to Parkridge Mall again. As I window shopped, I looked at my longer hair, and thought it was time to return for a touch-up. I stopped in and asked if Ellie, the girl I had seen a couple weeks ago, had any openings today. I said I also wanted another full body waxing. I was showing some hair regrowth after the last one. It was finer, but I still wanted it removed. Consulting the book, the receptionist told me I could get in at 2:00. Since I had planned to spend the day at the mall anyway, I took it.

I cruised the mall, looking in windows, occasionally entering a shop, soaking up the 'shopping experience' that is so much a part of modern womanhood in America. I was doing this for Amy, and for the challenge, and I did not expect to enjoy it, only endure. But as time passed, I found it wasn't so bad. I found myself paying closer attention to some items, then picking some off the racks to look at. At noon, I had a salad (what else?) in the food court, and then surprised myself by trying on a dress that caught my eye in the first shop I stopped at afterward. It was a brilliant aqua color, had a scoop neck, was supposed to be tightly fitted around the midsection, but was loose over my corset. It had a full skirt that fell beautifully to swish around my legs. Unfortunately, with the corset, the dress was too loose around the middle. I decided to buy it anyway, assuming it would fit pretty well without the corset.

Well, in for a penny, etc. Since I had bought the dress, I knew I didn't have any shoes to match, so that was the next stop. I had to try three stores before I found a pair of shoes the right color. They were slingbacks with 4" heels. I could have done with a lower heel, but what can you do. There just weren't many shoes in that color.

By then it was time for my appointment. When I entered, Kim guided me back to the private room I remembered for the pain I had survived within. This time was much less painful, as there was not nearly as much hair, and it was finer. Kim rubbed moisturizer all over my body again, and I tried my best to suppress the moans as she massaged it into my breasts. She remembered me from the time before, and complemented my on the way my breasts were filling out. I looked at them and realized that they were looking bigger and better.

Wearing the provided robe and my lingerie, I was led up front to one of the stations and seated in the chair. Ellie asked me what I had in mind. I told her other than touching up the color, I didn't know for sure. I wanted to try something different, something fairly easy to care for, but I needed to keep as much length as possible for the "I Dream of Jeannie" costume I had for Halloween. She fingered my hair, and gushed about how great I should look in a costume like that. I was sure hoping so, after all the effort we had gone to to get me into it!

She shampooed my hair, and touched up the darker roots. Fortunately, my natural hair color is not too far off this shade of blonde, so the roots didn't stand out, but still! Amy was going to have a real challenge, what with her very dark brown tresses. As Ellie worked, another operator arrived to work on my nails. After discussing it, she removed the old false nails that were hardly longer than I normally wore my own nails. She replaced them with a longer set that reached about a half inch past my fingertips. Amy hadn't mentioned it, but I knew I would have to work up to the  ¾"nails she was accustomed to. On a whim, I had her finish my new fingernails, as well as my toenails in a color to match my new dress. To finish up, they did my makeup again, flawlessly as before.

After they finished their magic, I dressed in my new purchases, placing the old clothes in the shopping bag, then pulled out my cell phone. I caught Amy just before she was leaving her office. I proposed meeting her at a restaurant we both enjoyed, and it took very little effort to convince her.

I went to the front desk to settle the bill, including a nice tip, then left the shop, thanking the friendly people who had made me look so beautiful, and headed for the car.

I arrived before Amy, and stood waiting for her near the valet station. Even with the ill-fitting dress I wore, I thought the young valet was barely keeping his tongue from dragging on the ground. It felt kind of good having that effect on men, after being on the drooling side of the fence for most of my life.

Amy didn't notice me when she pulled up, though how she could miss the brightly colored dress, I'll never know. I caught up with her as she walked in the door, and whispered we needed to visit the ladies before we were seated. Safely inside, I told her of my problem as she gaped at the remanufactured woman that only a short time ago was her husband. We entered the handicapped stall, and she helped me remove the corset that was obstructing the fit of the dress. Once it was removed, and the dress refastened, the fit was fantastic. I had hoped it would be. Amy stood back and looked at me in wonder.

"Where, oh where has my husband gone?" she whispered. I think I saw a tear glisten in her eye, so I rushed to her and enveloped her in my arms.

I whispered back "Oh darling, I am right here, always right here. You may not recognize me right at the moment, but just close your eyes and feel the love I wrap you in, and you will know for sure."

We clung to each other a few minutes before she held me back and said "Yes, I feel it, now I know exactly where my husband is!"

We exited the restroom and spoke to the maitre d'. Soon we were led to a secluded booth where we could talk privately, and exchange loving looks and touches without alerting the dyke patrol. It was a thoroughly enjoyable meal. We talked about my shopping trip, and the things I bought. Alright, it wasn't much, only a dress and shoes, but Amy was amazed anyway.

Saturday, September 19

Having slept for the first time in a while without the corset, I slipped out of bed while Amy still slept, and soaked for a long time in a hot bath laced with scented bath oil. Amy was still asleep when I returned to our room, so I quietly dressed in the really low cut jeans and a vivid blue crop top. This left an awful lot of skin showing in my midsection! Out of curiosity, I used Amy's tape measure, and was shocked when my uncorsetted waist was only 22 inches! That's an inch less than Amy's! Well, somewhere between the diet, the walking, and the corset, something had certainly done the job. Hmmm, I guess hormones could factor in there somewhere, too.

I crept out to the kitchen. I considered making Amy a big breakfast, but after exceeding my waist goal, I wasn't taking any chances about putting inches back on. So I whipped together a light and lean breakfast, bagels, fresh fruit with low fat yogurt, and coffee. Amy wandered in about the time the coffee finished, and we sat to break our fast.

When Amy was dressed, we set off to pick up some groceries as the larder was getting pretty bare. Amy had chosen the same jeans as I, and a crop top like mine, only pink. Well, since we looked like twins, why not dress like twins for some occasional fun?

Grocery shopping as a pretty girl is an experience. The stock boys can't do enough to help, and strange women just start talking about the most incredible things — man troubles, periods, all sorts of things I would never have thought of discussing.

Amy and I split up to fetch some of the items we needed. As I movind down an aisle toward the front of the store,I heard someone calling Amy. I hadn't realized my wife was in this part of the store, so I looked up to see who was talking to her. It turned out to be Sally, our next door neighbor, and she was talking to me!

"Oh, I just love that hair color, Amy! When did you decide to change it? And have you lost some weight?"

I was at a loss for words, but finally managed to recover. Being careful to stay in Amy mode I answered "Oh, about 2 weeks ago, and yes, I think, a little. So how have you been, Sally. Obviously, we haven't talked in the last two weeks," pointing to my hair, "So what have you been up to?" I didn't really need to worry about my Amy impersonation, it was pretty engrained now.

"Well, I've been out of town, a little holiday with my boyfriend. I just love that color, but I don't think you should be losing any more weight, you're too thin as it is."

"Well, the weight loss is not a long term goal. It and the hair are for an elaborate costume I have for the big costume party at the office."

Then I noticed Sally wasn't really listening. Her eyes were huge, and getting larger as she peered over my shoulder. I turned to see Amy coming up the aisle behind me, absorbed in reading a product label, so she hadn't noticed I was talking to anyone.

"Oh! Oh! Um, who are you!" Sally shrieked. Amy snapped her head up, and her eyes got pretty large as well when she saw me talking to our neighbor. She walked up beside me, desperately trying to think what to say. Sally just stood there looking back and forth from one Amy to the other. I just had to giggle at the expression on her face.

"Alright, what's going on here!" she demanded.

Since I figured this was Amy's show, I just kept quiet and waited to see how she would explain this one. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Then tried and failed a second time. Then finally, she grabbed onto an idea she thought she could run with, and got her mouth in gear at about the same time.

"Sally. Um, I can explain this. I think."

Sally broke in and said "Who are you anyway, and why do you look and sound like Amy here!" gesturing to me. I choked back a laugh, and Amy glared at me.

"No, Sally, you've got it wrong. I'm Amy."

"You're… Amy? But… But… Well then, who the heck is she?" Sally stuttered.

Yeah, who the heck am I, I thought. What do you say to that, oh wife of mine!

"Um, gee, Sally, can you keep a secret? I mean really keep it? Until after Halloween?"

"Why?"

"It's just really, really important to me. It's a joke that I want to play on my friends at the office Halloween party."

"Oh, I get it! You brought in, like, your twin sister and you want to fool people at the party, right?"

Whew. Thanks Sally! "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Now can you promise to keep my secret until after the party?"

"Sure. No problemo! Anything I can do to help?"

"No, thanks. I think we have everything pretty much under control. If I think of anything I'll be sure to let you know, though!"

"Boy, the resemblance is really amazing. You guys really had me going there for a while. I thought you were Amy, ha ha. That's pretty rich. Um, what was your name again?"

"Jamie." I piped up. "My name is Jamie."

"Hey, that's pretty cool. Jamie and Amy. Ha ha, that's good!"

Amy cut in "Great to see you, Sally. We really have to run. Remember, this is a secret!" And we walked toward the checkout, leaving Sally chuckling and shaking her head.

We got home and put away the groceries, then fixed a light lunch of grilled chicken on a salad.

I didn't tell Amy about my waist, and after lunch I asked her to lace me up again. I was giddy with my success, and wanted to see if I could make any more progress with respect to my waist. Maybe I was becoming anorexic. Maybe it was just vanity. Who knows, I was a woman now, and I've never understood them!

After I was cinched up, I traded my tube top for a longer blouse that came down to cover the top of my low riders. More importantly, it hid my corset.

Amy did some laundry while I did some housecleaning. That pretty much filled the afternoon. Amy spent much of the day doing an intense critique of everything I did, occasionally pointing things I did different than her, and helped me correct them. Little by little I was becoming Amy. We had always been compatible in our thought patterns, likes and dislikes. Now, it seemed we were coming much closer to identical.

I still had "a major flaw" though, in my Amy imitation. That was an extra something between my legs. That night, Amy failed miserably trying to instruct it how to be just like Amy's counterpart. But we sure had a heck of a lot of fun while she was trying!

Sunday, September 20

Sunday, the weather was cooler, so we drove downtown, dressed similarly in longish shorts, halter tops, and walking shoes with short white socks. We found a place to park and strolled around, enjoying watching people, and being watched. This beautiful girl thing could become addictive! Have to watch out for that. But it was lots of fun provoking reactions from the guys, checking them out checking us out. It was fun to see their looks on seeing nearly identical twins, one dark and one blonde. And to feel their stares on my bum when they think I don't know. And my growing boobs. And that well hidden part that only appears to be what they think it is, thanks to my gaff.

Lunch at a sidewalk café extended our time of seeing and being seen. After lunch we browsed a few of the small shops, but didn't buy anything. Didn't see anything we just had to have, and didn't want to carry anything extra with us.

We returned home to have a light supper of grilled orange roughy, fresh steamed, deliciously seasoned vegetables, and (of course) salad. Apparently, I am now a salad junkie. At least, that seems to be about all I eat any more!

We were both pleasantly tired and retired early. I still slept in my corset, and had amusing dreams of tiny corseted waists and confusing things women do. Did it involve men? Naw, couldn't have. Last I checked, I was a guy, and guys don't dream like that about guys. But then again, maybe I hadn't checked well enough in the last few weeks!

Monday, September 21

It had taken me months to develop and perfect the code for this last phase of my contract, but now I was fairly certain it was done. Or done as much as software ever is! So now, the last step before moving on to the next big chunk of work was to provide final documentation and a phase wrap-up. I figured I could do the job pretty well this week, then take a break till after Halloween, when things should be getting back to normal. Whatever normal is. Don't think I am even sure anymore.

I dove into the task, surfacing only rarely, intent on having this done. I actually made it by late Friday. So late that Amy was sound asleep, so I missed my nookie that night, as I had nearly every night this week.

Still intent on toning my waist further, I wore a corset full time, except to bathe. When I found time to eat, I kept it healthy, instead of the junk food that was my mainstay during these peak load periods. I also broke for a walk midmorning every day. It helped me clear my head.

One of those days, Paul was there again, and we had a long, comfortable talk for the whole two circuits of the park path. I was coming to trust Paul now, maybe with too little real evidence, but more based on intuition. Feminine intuition? Maybe, I seem pretty darned female these days. But anyway, trusting him made me feel protected. It offset this insecurity that turning female seems to have created in me. It felt nice.

Thursday, September 24

Thursday, Amy and Sandy managed to get together again for their semi-regular lunch. As with recent weeks, nearly the only topic of conversation was Jamie. Once again, Amy bubbled over about this or that that Jamie had done over the last two weeks. His spontaneous trip to the salon. The new dress and shoes. His success at trimming his waistline.

But then Amy sobered, and stopped talking for a long few moments. She fought to hold back tears. "Oh, Sandy. I'm just so afraid I am losing James, though. As much as I love Jamie, and as much as I thrill at every new success she has, I still love James with all my heart. But I see less and less of him in Jamie every day. It feels like he is slipping away. And no matter how hard I grab and try to hold on, the pieces of my one and only husband just seem to slide though my fingers. What am I going to do?" Amy could hold the tears back no longer. This was not a violent storm of wracking sobs and torrential tears, but a silent stream down each cheek.

It wrenched Sandy's heart, and almost made her relent her need for this challenge. But then she thought back to the time when she thought of her husband as Amy thinks of James, and knew she had to finish, so she could know beyond a shadow of a doubt. And maybe save Amy at the same time, should it be necessary.

"Shh, sweetie. I'm here. Sandy's always here to help make things right. Come on, Amy, don't worry. It will be OK. Together we will make it OK. Don't cry now girlfriend." And she cradled Amy's head above her breast and waited for the sorrow to leak out with her tears.

Finally, Amy pulled back and gave Sandy a watery little smile. "Thanks, girlfriend. You're the best!" Amy turned her head away and dabbed her eyes and nose with a tissue, embarrassed for breaking down in public.

When she was composed again, Sandy asked "I know what you say you feel, Amy, but do you have any specifics we can talk over to see how we need to proceed here? I mean, your whole strategy has been to train her to be you, or very nearly. Don't you think that James is really alive and well in there, and just doing a really good job of learning and imitating the woman he loves so much?"

"It's hard to pick specifics. Well, a few. Her emotions are more intense, less inhibited. She is more intuitive, picks up on human patterns very quickly. She has shown a remarkable acceptance of male company, considering how *he* was raised. She is very proud of her body, and sometimes jokes about not returning it." Sandy cheered to herself over that one. "Her fashion sense is much improved, and she has pretty good taste. She doesn't complain at all about shopping or trying on clothes, makeup, hair styles, jewelry, whatever. I don't know, Sandy, I can't think."

Sandy was ready. "That's right, Amy. You can't think. You're letting your emotions run away, and painting disaster scenarios in you mind. But that's not you! Fall back on your doctors training. Analyze the situation based on your medical experience."

"Like how?"

"Well, you've treated transsexuals, right? I mean, you don't diagnose that condition, but you have led many new women successfully through their transition. What's your major tool in that area, at least until the final surgery?"

"Ummm. Hormones? Yes, it would have to be estrogen."

"And what happens when these patients take that estrogen? Is there any correlation between them and Jamie?"

"Yes. Why, yes there is. So many of the things I mentioned happen in some or all of the tg patients on estrogen. But they want these changes, that's not the intent with Jamie."

"OK, so we've established that estrogen is probably responsible for a lot of your 'lost' James, right?" Then Sandy continued without waiting for an answer. "And in the rare case that one of your patients has chosen to stop estrogen therapy?"

"Well, if it happens before irreparable damage, then most of those effects reverse over time. The moodiness. The sexuality generally shifts back toward an interest in females if it had previously drifted toward male."

"Yes!" Sandy jumped in. "And fashion sense is not hormone related. He probably had it all along, just suppressed. And reading your magazines and shopping with you has just strengthened it. That should be an advantage afterward, not a problem! And the shopping, makeup, etc is probably just Jamie's dedication to the task at hand. Don't you say that when he gets into one of his work projects that he is terribly focused and tenacious?"

"Of course! That must be it. Oh, please, god, let that be it. I couldn't stand to lose James. Oh, Sandy, that must be it! When we stop the hormones, Jamie will gradually shift back to my wonderful, wonderful husband once again."

Sandy added, "Maybe with a few improvements? Like more sensitive nipples. And better fashion sense. And a greater appreciation of you, as a woman."

"Hmmm. You're quite right. He should be James plus. Oh, thank-you Sandy. I knew I could count on you."

Sandy got a pensive look on her face, and thought for quite a while. "Amy, I just had a thought. What if… No. Um, Amy, is Jamie happy?"

"Happy? Yes, she seems so most of the time, apart from a few emotional episodes. But she is almost always cheerful, bubbly, smiling. Yes, she is happy. Why?"

"And James. Is James happy?" prompted Sandy.

"James? Oh, yes, I have always thought that James is happy most of the time. Everyone has their down times, even James. But for the most part, he is very happy. Oh, I know he doesn't smile all the time, or bubble like Jamie. But that is just their different styles. Oh. Oh, no! Sandy, no! You don't think James is happier as Jamie, do you? Oh, no. Please no."

Sandy sat forward, placing her hand on her friends arm to comfort her. "Oh no, I don't think so. No. No?...But…"

"Sandy, you're scaring me! But what!"

"Oh Amy, I don't want to hurt you. But you did say Jamie is more visibly happy than James, right?"

A tear started coursing down Amy's cheek again. "Yes." She whispered.

"And you did say she joked about staying as Jamie? Maybe that was her way of testing the waters with you."

Amy's face seemed to crumple, and more tears chased the first. "Oh, god. Could Jamie have discovered she's transgendered? Oh, Sandy, what am I going to do? I can't live without James, Sandy. I can't do it."

"Shh. Amy, you have to face the fact that Jamie may be here to stay. That may not be what's best for you. But can you really force her to go back if she's discovered this is the way she should be? And remember, you love Jamie too. Maybe not the same way as James, but you love her all the same. And you would have to lose her in order to get James back. Since you have to lose one or the other, wouldn't it be best to chose what is best for Jamie?"

"Oooohhhhh. I can't do this, Sandy. Why did this have to happen? We were so happy together. So much in love. We have plans about starting a family together. Growing old together. Sandy, this can't be happening!"

"Oh, Amy. I am so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't insisted on this crazy challenge, if I had just trusted you and accepted James, we wouldn't have this problem now. I just wish I could turn back the clock with the knowledge I have now." Sandy hung her head and hugged Amy tightly. Finally she voiced another thought, "On the other hand, if we hadn't done this, James might have suffered through never knowing what that void in his soul was. As much as it hurts, this may have been the best thing for the one you love."

Amy sobbed, "OK." She slowly pulled herself up, and said more strongly, "OK. If this is the hand I'm dealt, I'll handle it." More strongly yet, "OK, what do I need to do?"

"That's the ticket. You go girl! If Jamie is to survive, you will have to be strong for her as well as for yourself!"

"OK, 'll try. I must. Jamie needs me. But what do I need to do?" One more tear trickled down Amy's cheek.

Sandy thought how to say this. "Well, first, you need to hide your knowledge from Jamie. You must let her explore being a woman. Right now, the plan is to go back to James after the party. You have to give her the freedom to decide for herself if she wants to or not, without feeling pressured into James by your need. Can you do that?"

"I don't know. I will never do anything more difficult than that in this lifetime. I don't know if I'm strong enough. But for Jamie, I have to, so I will!"

"That's the spirit. I know you can do it. Next, you need to help Jamie explore femininity. She must be able to do everything she can as a woman. If she is transsexual, she will have to rediscover her sexuality as a woman."

Amy's face was on the verge of crumbling again, but she drew a deep breath, drew back her shoulders, and firmed her resolve. "OK, what do you suggest?"

"Well, you've given her a good start already. You've given her a fantastic role model to pattern behavior after, and she's soaked it up like a sponge. You've taken baby steps in getting her to interact with others as a woman. That's good, but it needs to continue on several fronts. One, she needs more independent contact with men. The club was a good step. I think we should do that again, soon. Maybe tomorrow."

"OK. But tomorrow isn't good. Jamie has to finish a task for work and has been spending long hours to get it done by tomorrow. I don't expect him to finish much before midnight, and even if he does, he will be exhausted."

"How about Saturday?"

"That could work."

"And this time he needs to take another step. He needs to dance with a man, not just with us. And he needs to spend some time alone with a man, maybe while we are out on the dance floor?"

"OK."

Sandy pondered. "Next thing. He needs to come out from under cover. He needs to see how he is received professionally, by the people he works with."

Amy was shocked. "No, Sandy. He may need to before he commits, but if he did it now before he made a decision, then went back to James, he could be ruined professionally. No, this is too early. I can see why you thought of it, but it can't happen at this stage, when we still don't know."

"Are you sure this isn't just denial on your part? Is this really what you think best for Jamie? Or is it you hope that he still will return to James?"

"Maybe. Maybe. But I just can't take the chance. Not when the consequences could be so severe."

Sandy sighed. "Ok, maybe you're right. Let's wait on that."

Amy glanced at her watch. "Oh. My. Word. Look at the time. I have got to get back. Can't say it was fun, Sandy, but thanks for your help. Talk to you soon."

Sandy called "Remember, be strong for her!" She watched Amy walk away, and wondered what the future held.

That night, as she expected, Amy hardly saw Jamie, let alone got the chance to talk to her. She retired early, and cried herself to sleep, wondering how she could possibly survive.

Friday, September 25

Friday night was the same. However, Amy remembered hearing Jamie say it was done. She was free for the next month or more.

Saturday, September 26

Amy let me sleep in this morning, after the grueling week that I had survived. I noted that the walking seemed to give me more staying power, and I resolved to continue it after I became a man again.

I washed up and went to the kitchen in just my babydoll and matching panties. Amy was preparing lunch and said, "Hello, sleepyhead. Did my little girl get her sleep out?"

I slumped listlessly in the chair and mumbled no.

She brought lunch to the table, and we sat and ate in companionable silence. Amy seemed to have something on her mind, but was apparently looking for the right time to say it. Since I was wiped anyway, I just waited for her.

Finally, "I was hoping we could take some time to sit and talk, uninterrupted, today, but I think it will have to wait for tomorrow. I made plans for this afternoon that I think might perk you up from your post-project doldrums. Come on, let's get dressed and go before we're late!

In the bedroom, Amy laid a couple of hanging suit bags across the bed, but when we dressed it was casual. Still not fully awake, I didn't question what was up. We hurried out to the car, and wound up back at the salon I had been to for my only two visits to a beauty parlor.

Apparently Amy had arranged everything ahead of time, because we were taken our separate ways. My first stop again was waxing. This time was even much better than last. There hadn't been much regrowth, and what had grown seemed even finer than last week. After the moisturizing lotion was massaged in, I returned to one of the hair stations. Ellie checked my roots, and decided I didn't need a touch up just yet, so she proceeded with the shampoo, then fixed lots of little rollers in my hair, liberally doused with a foul smelling solution. While that was percolating through my hair, another girl did the pedicure, and a manicure after removing my false nails. She then applied nails that extended 3/4" past my fingertips. I was just glad I finished my documentation before these were applied, as I expected to keep this length for the next month. All 20 nails were then coated multiple times with deep red polish, followed by a clear top coat. While this was going on, my eyebrows were plucked again, and when I finally saw them, they were an even higher, finer arch than last time.

The rollers were removed, my hair rinsed, and I was parked under a dryer, with the usual selection of women's magazines to occupy my time. I found it interesting some of the techniques they espoused to tame guys. Having been on "the other side" for most of my life, I really doubted their effectiveness. Amy ended up under a dryer down the row from me, but we had no opportunity to talk.

Then it was back to the station for final combing, arranging, and spraying of my hair, followed by an all-out assault by the makeup artist.

When I was finished, I saw shiny golden blonde hair in a mass of curls piled on my head, with a corkscrew tendril hanging down in front of each ear. Delicate, femininely arched brows rose over dramatically highlighted eyes. My full lips were colored to match the red of my nails, and then glossed to a wet-looking sheen. It really was incongruous to be dressed so casually yet so elegantly made up. Amy came up behind me, and I could see she was just as turned out.

She tapped me on the shoulder, and said "This way, sexy!" We turned and followed one of the girls from the shop into a back room where I saw the suit bags and a sports bag that Amy had brought. The girl left us there, and Amy started pulling out clothes. Once again I saw the red and black dresses cut in the same style, one pair of red spike heels and a pair of black. My red corset, and a black one I hadn't seen before, plus some of our sexiest lingerie. "Strip!" Amy ordered, and proceeded to do the same herself. She handed me the red corset, and hooked the black one on herself, then we tightened each others laces. When Amy finished with my corset, I commented that it didn't seem that tight, was she sure she had finished. She told me that it wouldn't go any tighter, as the two sides were pulled tight together. Even with my greater strength, I hadn't been able to do that with Amy's.

"Oh ho! Looks like someone needs to go on a diet!" I sniped at her. She batted my arm, then handed me the lingerie she had selected for me. Bra, seamed black nylons, panties. When I was ready, she handed me the red dress this time, and helped me get it in place without mussing hair or makeup. I then helped her with the black one. A little tug here, a shimmy there, and we were all decked out. Amy still hadn't told me what was up, but I was content to follow her lead. I seemed to have mellowed out some in the past week or two. Wonder if it's the hormones, or just exhaustion.

We packed our casual clothes into the sports bag, then went to the front of the shop to settle our bill and head out to the car. Amy drove us downtown, and we parked near the art museum. Amy explained that this was yet another environment that I could practice being a woman, and observing how other women behaved.

We strolled through the museum, pausing here and there to examine a painting, a sculpture, or some Indian pottery. As we viewed the art, I also watched how Amy behaved as she spoke with me in hushed tones, as she lost herself in thought over a particular object, as she greeted some acquaintance, while she sipped wine at the bar, and when she was interacting with me as her girlfriend. I did my best to adopt the mannerisms I was able to distinguish as different from my own behaviors. Apparently Amy was unobtrusively watching me as well, because when I had little successes, she smiled at me, or quirked an eyebrow

As evening approached, we left the museum and went to an upscale restaurant in an area of town associated with the upper crust. It was posh and sedate, not the kind of thing we went out for often, even when we felt like living high off the hog. We shared a bottle of very good wine as Amy ate her quiche, and I enjoyed a grilled shrimp Caesar salad. We talked about our respective weeks, and my success preparing for my part at the party. She did not talk about her lunch with Sandy, and while I could tell something was bothering her, she was able to convince me it was nothing worth worrying about.

When we left the restaurant, Amy drove us again to the club we had visited two weeks ago, when I was a freshly minted woman. I questioned why we were here again, and Amy responded that it was for more experience. We left the car with the valet and entered the club. As we were making our way to a table, Amy saw someone wave at us, and changed course to approach a different table, where Kevin and Jack, whom we'd met last time, were sitting alone. They greeted us warmly, and I watched Amy greet Jack with a peck on the cheek. It made me quite nervous, but I tamped that down and did the same to Kevin. After all, the whole purpose of this was to learn to imitate Amy. I was all for finding our own table, but Jack had already signaled for a waitress, and was ordering drinks for us, while Kevin urged us to sit.

At first, it was a repeat of the last time, we sipped our drinks while Jack leaned close enough to Amy to carry on a conversation. Kevin was attempting to do the same with me, but my nerves were making my end of the conversation very difficult to carry. Amy was unobtrusively keeping an eye on me, and silently urged me to loosen up a bit.

Part way through our second drinks, Jack asked Amy to dance, and she agreed! As I watched Jack and Amy rise, trying to cover the shock on my face, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and heard Kevin say "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"

I stammered and tried to mumble thanks but no thanks when I heard Amy pipe up from across the table saying "That's a wonderful idea, Kevin. Jamie would love to dance with you. You'll have to forgive her, she is a little shy." I stared at her, dumbstruck, and she just smiled back at me, and mouthed "go ahead".

Kevin took my hand and led me to the dance floor. Fortunately, it was a fast song, so it was not hard to imagine I was dancing with Amy, like last time. The song ended, and segued into a slow dance. Before I could escape, Kevin had captured my hand, brought me up next to him, and started leading me around the floor.

I was petrified, and Kevin picked up on that quickly, and eased me away just a bit. He started asking me questions, and telling me about himself, taking advantage of our nearness to carry on a fairly quiet conversation. At first I just mumbled my replies, but Kevin tilted my chin up, beamed that great smile at me, and said "Hey, come on, don't you dare hide that wonderful sexy voice from me!" His smile had brought an answering smile to my lips, but when he hit the word "sexy" the smile started to crumble. I firmed up my resolve, pasted the smile back on my lips, a bit strained at first, but it mellowed over time. Kevin started again, and this time, I was able to get my responses out in Amy's melodic voice, without losing my cool.

I got so wrapped up in Kevin's conversation that when the current dance ended, it just seemed natural to flow into the slow dance that followed. As we danced and talked, Kevin gradually guided me closer. It was so gentle, and so unthreatening that I hardly noticed. When we reached a lull in the conversation, he pulled me a little closer, and it just seemed natural to lay my cheek against his chest, since he was so much taller than I. I wondered what I was doing, but between the wine earlier, the drinks and the easy conversation, I couldn't seem to work up much concern about it. As we moved around, I saw Amy dancing with Jack. She was held just as close as I, but she had her head up and was watching me with an enigmatic smile on her beautiful face.

The next song was fast, so we drifted back to the table for a rest. Amy and Jack arrived about the same time. We sat, and talked again, two separate conversations as before, Amy with Jack, and Kevin with me, because the music was just too loud. Jack signaled for another round of drinks. I tried to get Amy's attention, but couldn't seem to get her to understand I was ready to leave. After we'd rested, talked, and finished our third drink, the guys asked us to dance again, and before I could say anything, Jack had already led Amy away, and Kevin was standing beside me expectantly. This time, the dancing picked up where the last had left off, Kevin held me very close. I decided not to fight it, and just went with the flow.

After several dances, both slow and fast, I plead aching feet due to the heels, so Kevin gallantly lead me back to our table. We sat and talked through another two songs before Jack and Amy came back hand in hand, laughing over something Jack had said.

Before long, Amy signaled me, and told Jack and Kevin that it had been great, but it was time we were going. They seemed disappointed, but quickly offered us a ride home. Amy demurred, saying we had our own car, but thank-you very much. I told Kevin that I had a wonderful time, and thanked him for the dances and the drinks. He lifted my hand, and gently kissed the back of it. I restrained the urge to jerk my hand away, not knowing if that urge was based on disgust at being kissed by a man, embarrassment at having Amy see the kiss, or the tingle that started at the point of contact and worked its way up my arm. I know my face must have been as red as my dress.

We managed to make it to our car and headed home. Thankfully, Amy stayed silent for the drive, but I felt sure we were going to have a little talk when we got to bed.

I was right. After we had undressed, cleaned off our makeup, brushed our teeth, donned our baby dolls and climbed into bed, there was an awkward silence, but I knew that wouldn't last long. I was torn between yelling at Amy for getting us into that position, and mumbling an embarrassed apology for my behavior with Kevin when Amy stopped my thoughts cold with her opening remark.

"You looked really good out there dancing with Kevin." She paused and looked down, blushing.

I was trying to decide between a shocked retort and an angry accusation for getting me into the situation when I heard myself say, "It felt pretty nice, too." I couldn't believe what had just come out of my mouth!

I think I shocked Amy, too, because she jerked her head back up, even while her cheeks continued to glow red.

As soon as it really penetrated my mind what I had said, my mouth opened in shock, and tears welled up in my eyes. One great sob burst forth from my throat, followed by a stream of tears from my eyes, then constant wracking sobs as I tried to burrow into the mattress, to hide myself from Amy.

In an instant, Amy was cradling me in her arms, stroking, whispering her love, and waiting for the storm to pass. And eventually it did. Eventually. When I was finally cried out, Amy pulled back from me just enough to raise my head and look into my eyes. There was a look of unending love in her eyes, but I think there was a touch of fear as well. I knew that there was a great deal of fear in me right at that moment.

She gently kissed me on each eye, then the tip of my nose, and then, finally, lingeringly, on my lips. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

I searched her eyes a moment, then looked down. "I'm not sure I can."

"Honey, you know you can always talk about anything, ANYTHING, with me."

"Oh, I know that Amy. It's not that. It's just that I don't know what I think right now, so there is no way to put it into words."

We clung to each other a while, then Amy hesitantly said "Honey, are we going too far with this? Do we need to call this whole thing off? Baby, you know how important it is to me that you and Sandy get along. But you, James, are the most important thing in the whole world to me. More important than Sandy or Sandy's friendship. More important even than life. I will not, repeat WILL NOT, take a chance on losing you. Not for anything. Not for anyone."

As she said this, tears started leaking out of my eyes again, and I burrowed my head against her luscious breasts. "I know, I know," I wailed. "If I said the same words to you, they would be no less true. I love you more than anything. But, I don't know. Somehow, something was different tonight. It's like someone picked up the world and set it down cockeyed. Things that should have scared or disgusted me were not just acceptable, but, um, nice. And that really scares me."

We were both still scared. I know I was, and I could feel it from Amy. We made love that night with more than just a little desperation, and I wondered what the future would bring.

Sunday, September 27

We never even dressed Sunday. We hardly let each other out of our sight. There was a soothing quality to the time that we spent doing nothing in particular, eating, playing games, watching TV. It was a reaffirmation of our love, and of our commitment to live our lives together, come what may. By that evening I think the worst of the fear was washed away.

Monday, September 28

I had a midmorning appointment with Sandy to monitor my changes, so I got up early and went for my walk. I was still wearing my corset most of the time, but it was tightened to the limits now, and did not feel all that tight to me. I decided I needed a new one if I wanted to continue to get results from it.

Paul was waiting at this usual spot when I passed the second time around, and fell in step beside me. I kidded him about getting lazy, and that I had already made the circuit once, but he pointed out that I had gotten an earlier start than usual, and it was even now the time we had met in the past. The conversation flowed easily, and I mused that this was much more natural than had I been trying to talk to Paul as a man.

Paul asked "So, if I remember correctly, last time we met you said you were a pretty fair computer consultant, right?"

I looked up into his face, wondering where this was going. "Yes, I am a consultant, and I think I do OK. Why?"

"Well, SammaTech is looking for someone to do a little consulting work for us, and when the subject came up last week, I thought of you. Now, I don't know that there is a match between the work and your skills, but would you be interested in sending us a resume?"

Now, generally I would jump at the chance. A consultant's greatest asset is her base of contacts. The more satisfied customers, the more chance of having work available when the consultant has the time. But given my present condition, I didn't think it was the best idea right now, so I said "I am kind of stacked up on work right at the moment, so if you are looking for someone soon, I think I should pass. You should find someone who can handle it on your timetable."

Paul frowned. "Well, that was not the answer I was looking for. We have had very little luck finding someone who could do the job for us, and we are getting kind of desperate. Tell you what, I will give you my card, and you think it over."

"OK. But don't get your hopes up."

He mumbled "Too late."

I was apparently getting results from the walking, as I kept the pace up the entire two laps, and was not even breathing hard when I separated from Paul and went home.

Since the corset was looser, I was able to reach behind and get the laces undone, and shucked it so I could shower and be fully clean when I saw Sandy. Shampoo, conditioner, blow dry, quick comb. I noted I didn't need a shave, the frequency had dropped to every third or forth day. I applied a little blusher, mascara, and lipstick, and called it good. A lightweight skirt in a pale green, with a silk blouse, over my lacey undies. Pass on the hose, a pair of green 3" heels, and I was ready. It may be September, but the weather here in the Southwest is still warm enough for summer clothes. I noted the size of the corset for later.

I breezed out to the car, and drove to Sandy's office. There were a couple other women in the reception area, but that no longer bothered me. I pondered that concept while I was waiting to be called back. The time came, and I was conducted by a nurse to one of the examining rooms. The nurse handed me one of those useless hospital gowns and told me to strip to my panties, which I did after she left.

Sandy came in and we sat and talked for a bit. She seemed more at ease with me than any time since I first met her. I decided that I was doing the right thing for Amy, if this kind of result held. She asked me about any changes in my body and emotions, and I tried to convey what I had observed. She said she was pretty well up-to-date from Amy anyway, but it was useful to compare two points of view, from the inside and the outside, so to speak.

She then went on to a physical examination, poking here, prodding there, asking for feedback of pain or sensitivity. While I sat on the examining table, she had me drop the top of my gown down into my lap, baring my breasts, which she proceeded to examine and manipulate with great concentration. Sandy pointed out what a great shape my boobs had settled into, perky and nicely rounded, with no hint of sag. She pointed out the puffy areoles and enlarging nipples. I had mentioned them, but from my point of view it had been very gradual, so when she pointed it out, I realized how much I had changed. The nipples were easily double the width, the areoles had gone from nickel size to the size of a quarter, and the whole area of it was puffed up maybe an eighth of an inch where they had been basically flat before. The sensitivity had gone from virtually the same as any other spot of skin to having noticeable sensation.

Sandy observed that there may have been some shift in body fat, noting how trim my waist was, but saying that after she had augmented my hips and butt, it would be really hard to judge whether further change had occurred. She did note that I was down 10 lbs. over the last month.

She then talked about the hormone implants, saying they lasted a fixed time, and that it was time for mine to be renewed. She asked if I was still OK with this. I was not about to chance messing up this challenge, no matter how nice she was treating me, so I grinned, and told her definitely. A nurse was dispatched to bring back the same implants that were used the last time, and Sandy inserted them. She noted that it was basically a month to the party, so she would see me next that Monday following Halloween, when we could plan the reversal process. I thought that sounded just fine, I was looking forward to it.

When I left Sandy's office, I would have liked to have stopped in to see Amy, but we were saving my appearance for a surprise at Halloween. I drove to what I had come to think of as Jamie's mall, the one across town we went to in order to avoid being seen by people we know. It was also the only place Jamie had visited a salon, and where most of Jamie's clothes had been purchased. I felt comfortable there, anonymous but attracting lustful or envious attention. I went back to Victoria's Secret, and asked the salesgirl for help with a corset. I told her the old size, and that it was now too large. She was slender, but she groaned enviously when I said that, and I couldn't help but smile. She found a basic white one she thought would work, and I asked if she could help me put it on. I had my faux vagina securely glued in place, so I figured with a little care, my secret would be safe. In the dressing room, she pulled and strained on the laces, pulling it as tight as she could. I could tell it was a lot tighter than the old one could be anymore, but I must have been used to it because it wasn't bothering me at all. She measured my compacted waist and reported it was only 19". She also told me the new corset had about another inch before it reached its limit. I also took one in black and one in a royal blue.

Another quick salad in the food court, then to a jewelry kiosk where I selected several new sets of earrings, the first I had purchased on my own. One set were dangly with several cascading wafers of plastic in red, white and blue that I thought would go great with that bikini Amy had put me in. Then I realized by the time I could have worn it again, I would be back to James. Oh well, they'll look great on Amy with that suit next summer.

Back at home, I spent the afternoon cleaning up my office after that mad rush last week, and installed the latest security fixes on my computer. That chewed up most of the afternoon, and then it was time to put dinner together for Amy.

We had a nice, quiet evening, and when we made it to bed, settled into a slow, languorous lovemaking. I realized that I was not exerting the same urgency in our sex as I had before, and wondered about it. Not that I didn't enjoy sex greatly, but now Amy was almost always the more aggressive partner. I was more content to feel her stroking my body. Her teasing, fondling, and sucking on my breasts brought me as much or more pleasure than penetrating Amy. I knew I should be worried about that, but it just didn't seem that important to me.

Friday, October 2

The week passed with Amy working, me walking in the mornings and puttering the rest of the day, still practicing my woman lessons. Then most evenings were reserved for loving. However, Friday, we noticed a difference. While we both were willing partners, our usual moves, while feeling great, failed to bring me to erection. We tried different things, but ended up settling for bringing each other off with our mouths. Amy noted the fluid I issued was greatly reduced from my pre-hormone days as well.

This did rouse my worry, and when we were snuggling after, I asked Amy about it. I could tell she worried about it too, but tried to reassure me that this was normal for estrogen hormone therapy. She was a little concerned, as this was probably 3 or 4 weeks ahead of what you would normally expect, but there was probably no reason for concern. She did make a mental note to talk to Sandy about it, though.

Saturday, October 3

The weekend was quite calm, with trips to the grocery store, a home improvement store, a quiet dinner out, and a movie. We had fun necking and petting in the last row of the theater until we noticed several people glancing at us, and decided two women making out was a little too much. Amy continued to tweak my impersonation, but it was becoming much less often she could find something to correct. Most of the flaws cropped up when we put ourselves into new and different situations.

Amy found a notice for a women's club sponsored speaker scheduled for Saturday afternoon. She decided it would be good for me to try something different. I was OK with it, but afterward regretted that the topic had been essentially how to keep you man by being a tigress in bed. Of course it was couched in infinitely more polite terms than that, but all the same!

Sunday, October 4

That weekend was the boat show down at the civic center, and Amy thought that since I had spent the time in a gathering of women, the male-dominated trade show would provide a nice balance for me. We cruised the displays, and I was thoroughly disgusted at being treated as completely unknowledgeable by the company reps. I guess the stereotypical treatment of women really does happen. Except for that, most of the men were nice. In the press of bodies, a few extra hands found my tush, but nothing too untoward. I was constantly aware of the many eyes that followed our every move. A couple of times, men tried to pick us up, but for the most part they were easy to outmaneuver.

Monday, October 5

The week ran much as the last. I walked every morning, several times with Paul. He seemed to be making more of an effort to be there when I passed. There were miscellaneous odd jobs around the house, and various tasks in my office trying to be prepared for the next phase of my contract. Cozy dinners with Amy, and affection in bed at night. My erections were still MIA, so the character of our trysts had changed to cuddles, and virtually no sex.

Amy had tried to contact Sandy, but she was out of town the first part of the week.

Wednesday, October 7

While dressing after my walk, I noticed that I seemed to be spilling over the tops of my bra cups. Strange, when did that happen? With nothing specific on the agenda, I decided I would do something about it. After the trip cross town to "my" mall, I found myself once again in Victoria's Secret. The salesgirl approached, and I blushed as I told her I seemed to have had a growth spurt up top, and could she measure my bra size. She led me to a changing room and asked me to remove my top and bra. With deft movements, she took the necessary measurements, the left for a moment to fetch a few bras for me to try. As I tried each one, she carefully adjusted the straps for the best fit, then asked how it felt.

When we finished, I was shocked to find that I was slightly too large for a "D" cup in most brands, though a few fit fairly well. She had tried a couple double-D bras, and they were a little bit too large. I ended up buying a few very pretty bras in each D and DD, concerned that I might soon outgrow the D. On the girls urging, I also bought matching panties, and even a few other things, including a near scandalous baby doll/thong panty set. I was again amazed, and not a little concerned with how much I was getting into this girl thing.

Thursday, October 8

Sandy and Amy met up for lunch as usual on Thursday. Amy was a little strained while discussing Jamie's progress. Especially about the erectile dysfunction. Sandy repeated Amy's argument that ED is normal in hormone therapy, and shouldn't be an issue after the hormones stop. Amy moaned that she missed the physical closeness that accompanied penetration. Sandy talked clinically about her observations Monday of the prior week, and that all seemed in order.

Amy observed "Jamie's breasts seemed to have filled out a little, so they're an even more natural rounded shape. And their sensitivity is up as well."

Sandy joked "Well think how nice that will be after, when she has her erections back. You can have the best of both worlds!"

Amy looked sad. "Will I ever get James back, Sandy? Or have I felt him inside me for the last time, and didn't even know it?"

That pulled Sandy up abruptly. "I don't know. This is just so… so… I don't know. When we talked two weeks ago about this, I was assuming you would have full use of that member past the time she made a decision to continue. This must be so hard for you! Have you got any better feel for how she might go?"

"Why do you keep referring the James as her and she!" Amy growled. "She's a man, and she's my husband, darn it!".

Sigh. "I know Amy, it's just that she's a she right now, and besides, you know how I am about men. I want to keep my thoughts about her positive, and that is so much easier if I refer to her as female. I'm sorry. I know this is awfully hard on you. Things will work out, you'll see."

"I can't tell which way he might jump," Amy said. "He seems to be fitting into the role more and more every day. His behavior is impeccable, and he seems so comfortable. But besides the obvious conclusion that he is transsexual, there is the chance, and a pretty good one, that he is just throwing himself into this role precisely because the outcome is so important to me!"

"I hope that is what it is, for your sake. So, tell me, what have you been doing to let him gain the full feminine experience?"

Amy went through the dinners, movies, shopping in various types of stores, dancing at the club, the museum, women's club and boat show. Sandy thought that sounded pretty good, but there was something still missing.

"What? Amy asked.

"Well, I am hesitant to voice it. But if Jamie does survive, then she will have to make a decision about her sexuality. You know that many, if not most hetero transsexuals will be heterosexual after the change, becoming interested in men, don't you?"

The horror had been growing on Amy's face as Sandy talked. She whispered "Oh, my god!"

Sandy looked on in sympathy, but let Amy have time to think it through. "But what am I supposed to do about that? Get Jamie laid? Oh, Sandy, I can't push him toward a man! That might push him either away from me if he goes back to James, or over the edge to Jamie even if he was not already headed there!"

"Well, I didn't say laid! I just think she needs a little on-on-one time with a man. Maybe a nice date in a controlled environment so there would be no sexual pressure on her."

"This is so hard to know what to do. I just don't know if I should do something like that, and I wouldn't know how to set up something safe anyway."

Sandy paused. "Well, you remember Jerry at work?" Amy nodded and Sandy continued, "Didn't you say he hits on you every once in a while? And you know from working with him that he is pretty nice, and not too pushy. Since you and Jamie are now twins, if you acceded to his request, on the basis of strictly a non-sexual situation, then talked Jamie into going in your place, that could work out." Amy was slowly nodding her head.

"But how do I do that with Jerry when I have used my faithfulness to my husband as the prime reason for refusing?"

"Well, make it clear that you absolutely will not be unfaithful sexually, but that James has been absent this last month, and you could use a little non-threatening male companionship for an evening. After all, its not a lie, Jamie has been here over a month, so James has been away the same time."

"It just about breaks my heart to even think about it, but Jamie has to find her own way to either a new life, or back to James. I'll think about it, but no promises."

"That's good. Just be careful that you make your decisions for Jamie's sake, not what will give you less pain in the short term."

I was unaware of this conversation, but I was well aware of Amy's extra attempts to arouse me for intercourse that night. It was unsuccessful. I awoke later to find Amy crying softly into her pillow, and nothing I said or did could convince her to talk to me, or ease her obvious pain.

Friday, October 9

Amy had still not reached a decision by Friday, but just in case, started carefully cultivating Jerry's attention, so she would have that option.

I walked again, and ran into Paul, as was becoming more the rule than the exception. In the course of the conversation, I mentioned I had to visit a computer store downtown. He said that was right by where he worked, and asked if I would have coffee with him at a little shop by his office building. We had been becoming friends, so I saw no harm in that.

After the walk, I was still trapped in the corset, so I sponged as best I could. The new corsets were tight enough that I was unable to get the laces loose. I donned one of my new lacey bra and panties set, one of the D size that was just tight enough to give an extra emphasis to my endowments. I then added nude pantyhose. I wore a gauzy sun dress in swirled patterns of pale yellows and greens. It would have been totally inappropriate most other places in the country this time of year, but was perfect for here. Beige 4" strappy sandals finished the outfit. I took a little more time with my hair and makeup, doing a more elaborate job with foundation and eye shadow in addition to my more normal mascara, eye liner and blush. I carefully outlined my lips with the lip liner, and filled in with a frosty pink lipstick, glossed for that wet look. I took the time to remove my nail polish and replace it on toes and fingers with polish to match my lips. I couldn't figure out why I was taking such care when I was only visiting a computer store, and would incidentally see my walking buddy.

I had a salad in a Sweet Tomatoes on the way down, did my thing at the computer store, then searched out the coffee shop, arriving right on time at 2:00. Paul walked in a minute later, dressed in sharp slacks, and a nice shirt with collar open, no tie and no jacket, respecting the local climate. He smiled when he saw me, and joined me at the table. I ordered a non-fat latte, and he had cappuccino. We talked and enjoyed the coffee.

When we finished, he invited me in to see his office. I glanced at my watch, looking for a reason to leave, but it was early yet, so I shyly agreed. He ushered me into his building, then up to the fifth floor, where his office was. He showed me around, and introduced me to some of his co-workers. About the time I was ready to leave, two men walked up.

One said "So this is the consultant you have been telling us about, Paul?"

And I realized I had been set up. I looked at Paul. He looked abashed, but said "Yes, this is she. Jamie, may I present Mr. Johnson, my boss, and also Steve, from IT."

Even if I don't look like myself, I have a definite work ethic with customers and potential customers. I squared my shoulders, reached my hand out for a feminine handshake, and said "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Johnson." Turning to another handshake, "And you also Steve. Paul asked me for a resume, but I don't have one with me. And as I told Paul, I have about all the business I can handle right now."

Mr. Johnson took charge, "Don't be so quick to turn us down. Come on into a conference room for a minute, and let's exchange a little information."

For the next half hour, they told me their needs in general terms, and I told them the type of work I did, and some vague details about some of my past projects. Things went really well, I was a good match for what they needed, and they were impressed with me. I just didn't want to take on work as Jamie.

Mr. Johnson asked if I could tell him the names of some of the companies I had worked for. Reluctantly I mentioned a few of the more obscure ones.

Mr. Johnson perked up and said "Oh, you worked for Scanlon Industrial? Was it for Bob Jamison, by any chance?"

I was so surprised, that I squeaked yes before I could backpedal.

He said "I know Bob. We play golf together. He told me about this fantastic consultant that solved that problem they were having a couple years ago. That must be you. I must say, I am impressed. And Bob has a very high opinion of you. Tell me, is there anything I can do to entice you to take on our project?"

"I'm sorry, but I have more work than I can handle right at the moment."

Too bad I couldn't pursue it. I would be back to James before this could go anywhere, but I couldn't tell them that.

Then inspiration struck. "How about if I have my partner get back with you in say 3 weeks? He normally handles the business aspects of the work, and we cooperate on the development. He has worked on all those projects I spoke of right along with me. Would that work OK?"

Mr. Johnson smiled, and Paul absolutely beamed. "That would be great. Three weeks is stretching it a little, but could still meet our timeframe. Especially since we have no viable options."

So we exchanged contact information, but I cautioned them not to contact James until next month at the earliest. There is just no way I could talk in James' voice right now.

As Paul walked me out, I sadly wondered what it might be like working with Paul as James, and not letting slip that I know him a lot better than James should!

I rushed to get home to start dinner, but arrived just after Amy. I apologized, but she said that was OK, we weren't eating in tonight, then shooed me into our room to get gussied up for a night on the town.

Amy suddenly realized how I was dressed, and commented on how nice I looked. She asked why. I blushed and told here about meeting Paul walking, and then talking to his boss today about doing consulting work for their company. She was surprised that I would do that dressed as Jamie, so I told her of my strategy of deferring any more contact till my "partner" James could handle the business negotiations. That got a grin out of her.

We got dolled up in some of Amy's nicest (and sexiest) outfits, and headed off to dinner. Afterward, we found a different dance club, for which I was thankful, as it reduced the chances of running into Jack and Kevin again.

The evening was pleasant. We did not hook up with anyone in particular, as we had on the last two occasions, rather sitting at a table together, talking and sipping drinks. We were asked frequently to dance, and accepted most of the offers. I was now strangely comfortable with that situation, but even more so since none of my partners got the chance to be as possessive as Kevin had been. It was late when we returned home, and we quickly cleaned up and went to bed, falling asleep almost the moment our heads touched the pillows.

Saturday, October 10

The weekend was open, so I talked Amy into visiting a local health club. I was feeling so good from the walking, that I decided it would be good to do a more complete exercise program. I also wanted to entice Amy into doing the same. Not that she was fat, by any means, but I was so pleased at how my copy of her figure had improved over the past couple weeks, I was eager to see the same enhancements in her.

She was not convinced, so we did not join outright. Sensing one easy customer and another teetering on the fence, they offered us a trial one week membership, which I quickly accepted before Amy could turn it down. A dragged her off to a sporting goods store, and we bought a couple leotards in bright colors, some shorts, leggings, and cross trainers. We then stopped by home and picked up the same bikinis we had used at the water park. I realized I would get a chance to wear my new coordinated earrings with my patriotic suit after all.

Despite Amy's reluctance, we stopped for a light lunch, then returned to the fitness center. As part of the enticement, our trial membership included some consultation with a personal trainer. We were in luck, one was available. This was great, since neither Amy nor I knew where to begin. We dressed in the dressing room, and I was amused that it seemed I was more comfortable in our skimpy exercise clothes than Amy.

The trainer was a hunk! His name was Julian, and he is just the kind of guy many women go goo-goo-eyed over. Fortunately Amy had a loving hubby, and was more level-headed than that. And me? Well, I'm not really a woman, now am I? Not that all those rippling muscles didn't do something to me. I'm just not sure what.

He described the goals and methods of safe, healthy training, and then walked us through a cycle on the impressive array of fitness machines. Well, I thought I had gotten into better shape with my walking. I soon learned otherwise. Amy fared no better. After Julian finally let us go, we went back to the locker room and changed into the bikinis, then made use of the Olympic sized pool. Amy noticed the new red, white, and blue earrings right off, and commented on how they were adorable with the almost not there bikini of the same colors.

She gazed at me appraisingly, then commented on how healthy and attractive I was looking. I think maybe she was getting into the idea that since my copy of her body could look so great, maybe it was worth her while to do the same for her original. Between the pool, the spa, and the sauna, we didn't get out of the club until dinner time. We made our way home and threw together a light supper, then collapsed on the couch, both of us deliciously exhausted. Some time later, Amy shook me awake and told me it was time for bed.

We cleaned up and got ready for bed. Since our lovemaking had taken a sabbatical, I had taken to wearing the vagina/gaff nearly full time. There was very little reason to take it off, as I was able to pee while wearing it, albeit sitting down. It was so much easier to have a genuine feminine shape down there, like when I wore the leotard and the bikini. We cuddled for a few minutes in bed, but were so tired we dropped off quickly.

Sunday, October 11

We both woke a little stiff and sore, but as soon as we got moving, we were fine. I cajoled Amy into returning to the fitness club again. After all, we only had a week to try it out, and most of that week she would be working full time.

This time, the free trainer assigned to us was Eduardo. He had the sleek, well muscled body of a swimmer. He did not have the bulk of Julian, but he was impressive, none the less. The circuit went about the same as the day before, maybe a bit harder with our tired muscles. Darn, I was hoping for some really impressive results really quick. Oh well, a girl can dream, can't she?

Today we brought one piece suits. Amy had two identical suits from her days on the swim team in college. They both had really high cut leg openings, and low cut backs. They were made of a sleek, shiny, royal blue material that clings like a second skin. We stood side by side in front of the mirror. Amy studied our reflections, and I think decided her body came off second best. She did comment on my larger boobs, and I said that yeah, I had been noticing them. She seemed a little worried about it.

Monday, October 12

I went out for my walk, and was not at all surprised to see Paul waiting for me. We walked in silence for a while.

"Look, Jaime, I am sorry about setting you up last week. It's just that I like you. A lot. And I wanted to see more of you. So I thought I could kill two birds with one stone — get you some more consulting work, and give me a chance to be around you."

My cheeks were flame colored by the time he finished. I couldn't look him in the eye. "Paul, please don't. I am in a permanent relationship with someone who means the world to me. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am off the market, so to speak."

"Oh. Um. Err. Gee, Jaime. I'm sorry. You never mentioned anything. I apologize if I overstepped the bounds."

I grabbed his arm to pull him to a stop and swing him around to face me. I took both his hands and looked him in the eye. "No, Paul. Don't apologize. It's not you fault, it's mine. I guess I am so secure in my relationship that I don't think about what I project to others. You are a very attractive man, Paul, both your body and your personality. I am flattered that you have an interest in me, but I just can't."

He looked a little sad. "Is it James, your partner?"

"No Paul, not James. Please, I would rather not talk about it right now. Let's just finish the walk." Which is what we did, in silence. I had really put a damper on what I thought was a budding friendship. Before I split off to head home, I said "I'm sorry, Paul. If this changes things, and you are no longer interested in my consulting services, I understand. Good bye."

"Wait Jamie. No, this will not affect that! We will talk again, I promise."

Tuesday, October 13

Tuesday I did not see Paul while walking, and felt a bit sad. Was there something more there that I didn't want to examine too closely?

Back at home and cleaned up, I realized how short I was on clean clothes, so I started the wash. By the time Amy came home, I had it about half done. A lot had built up recently!

Wednesday, October 14

I had the laundry finally finished by the time Amy came home, with hers stacked neatly on the bed so she could put it away as she wanted it. Shortly after she had gone to the bedroom to don casual clothes for the evening, she called me into our room.

"What's this?" She asked, holding up one of the new DD bras I had bought.

"Oops, guess I got that in the wrong stack, sorry." And took it to put away with my things.

"Why are you wearing a double D bra these days?" she asked, gazing intently at my chest. "I had noticed you seemed a bit bigger, but I had no idea!"

"Well yeah, I've noticed me changing for the last several weeks, and your bras just don't fit right anymore. So I bought some that fit, and the girl said I was a generous D, not quite a DD. I figured if I was changing that fast, I would probably need the DD before the party."

Amy grinned. "They do look pretty good on me. Now I see why you dreamed about me being bustier." Then her look turned serious. "But you shouldn't be having this rapid a response to the hormones. I think we need to do something about this. For now, I am taking you off the pills immediately. I am meeting Sandy for lunch tomorrow, why don't you join us. Sandy hasn't seen much of you recently." She told me what time and where.

She continued, "I made an appointment at 'our' salon for after work tomorrow. It's time for me to do my change for the party. Why don't you meet me over there about 7:30 and a couple of fun-loving, carefree blondes (that's us) will grab a late dinner together!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, it had slipped my mind that you were going dumb blonde too. Must be getting pretty close to the party already. I'm looking forward to having this over!"

"Hey, watch it with the dumb blonde thing, OK? I'll leave that to you, and I'll be the smart blonde." she joked.

Thursday, October 15

Traffic made me a few minutes late arriving for lunch, and Sandy and Amy were deep in discussion as I approached. Neither saw me until I pulled out my chair to sit down. They stopped talking, I could tell it had been about me, and greeted me warmly. Sandy asked me to stand again and twirl for her. She scanned my body critically, then motioned for me to sit.

She turned to Amy. "I see what you mean. She has really developed a rack! Funny how it sneaks up on you when you see it every day. It's been a while for me, and it really jumped out at me."

Amy smirked, "Yes, but I look pretty good that way, don't I? Lots of tits and ass!" Which made me turn crimson.

Sandy started in thoughtfully "I'm glad you think so, because we have a little problem. When I see you two together, the size difference is so obvious, no one will ever think she is you at the party."

Amy responded "So? What are you driving at?"

"Well, the plan has always been to remove Jamie's implants after the party. If I removed them now, she wouldn't be exactly flat chested, but she would just as obviously be not you. Also, the removal procedure, while not major surgery, would leave Jamie bruised and sore through the party. Kind of a problem with your costumes. Alternatively, I could replace the current implants with smaller ones, then remove those afterward, but not only is the pain and bruising issue even worse than simple removal, that would be a lot of trauma to Jamie's chest over a very short period. I wouldn't recommend it unless Jamie wanted to stay this way for another 6 months or so."

I piped in here "What!" but the both ignored my outburst.

Amy calmly said "So, I take it you have an alternative?"

Sandy hesitated, the quietly said "Yeah."

Amy persisted, "From your behavior, I am not going to like this, right?"

Sandy looked up. "Well, maybe, but then again maybe not. You just said how great your body looked on Jamie with the current 'improvements'. How would you like to try those improvements on for a few weeks?" Sandy was grinning crookedly.

"What, you mean me get implants! I just don't know, Sandy."

"Same deal. I got you into this, so no charge, and if you want them out later, no charge for that either."

"What about my bruising and tenderness?" Amy asked. "Won't that interfere with the party?"

"Nope, remember Jamie healed easily within two weeks, and it would be even easier for you, as it would be a very small implant."

I stuck in my two cents worth, "I think you ought to do it. Give you just a tiny taste of what you have put me through. Besides," I smirked, hefting a boob in each hand, "these ought to like really nice on you."

That got a laugh out of both of them, and after a moment I joined in.

"OK. OK. You win, I can't fight you both! So how do we work this, I can't take time off work like Jamie has been able to, lucky broad!"

Sandy went into planning mode. "Ok, can you get off just a bit early tomorrow?"

Amy's response was that she usually tried not to schedule late appointments on Friday, so she could be away by 3:00. The plan was for her to pop directly over to Sandy's office, and the new improved version would be out by 5:00. I would give her a ride home, even though that was probably not necessary.

Sandy turned serious again. "Jamie, we were talking just before you came. The amount of physical change you have shown, possibly emotional change as well, is not usual for this early in estrogen therapy. I want you to come back to the office with me so I can take some more blood samples. We need to see what's what."

After lunch, Amy headed back to her office, and I accompanied Sandy to hers. She drew the samples, and said she would have results by the time Amy came in the next day.

I was at loose ends for the afternoon. I didn't feel like sitting at home, so I wandered downtown looking for something interesting. When I realized I had wandered to the area of Paul's office, I pulled his card out of my purse and called him on the cell phone, and offered to buy him a cup of coffee. I was afraid he would refuse after our last meeting, but he agreed, and I met him the same time, the same shop as before.

I was a little uncomfortable at first, not knowing where we stood with each other, but it wasn't long before Paul put me at ease, and our conversation started to flow as smoothly as before. I was strangely relieved, and not a little curious about why it mattered so much to me.

After we said goodbye, I wandered over to 'Jamies Mall' and window shopped. Well, I must admit, I bought a few things, including some really sexy super sized bras for Amy, for after tomorrow. Finally it was time, and I wandered to the beauty salon. I waited a few minutes, then saw Amy stand out of one of the chairs, and stare in amazement in the mirror. I slipped up behind her, and gasped. Staring back at us from the mirror were the sexiest blonde twins I had seen in a long time. Of course, it was plainly evident that the boob fairy had been a bit more generous with one than the other. But other than that, anyone would have been hard pressed to tell the difference. She spun around to me and engulfed me in her arms, giggling excitedly.

"Well, what you think, sis?" she said. "Lookin pretty hot, don't you think?"

All I could do is shake my head and agree, "Pretty hot."

We had an enjoyable light dinner at a quiet little restaurant tucked into a corner of the mall. It seems like I am getting that a lot recently, the 'light dinner' thing. But I must admit, it was doing great things for Amy's body that I am currently wearing. Not bad on Amy's own body, either. She had dropped a few pounds in some places that gave even more emphasis to her fantastic curves since we started being more careful about food. I still thought I needed to get her started exercising on a regular basis, though.

At one point during the meal, she teared up, and paused a moment. "Jamie, I have done something we need to talk about when we get home. In fact, two somethings." But she wasn't ready to talk, and after a feeble try to get her to, I decided I had to wait for home.

At home, Amy suggested it was time for bed, even though it was still early. I figured she was going to feel better telling me in the dark, while we cuddled.

In an attempt to cheer her up, I pulled out the baby doll set I had bought a while back. The one too revealing for a whore to wear? I figured this would shake her up a bit, maybe get a laugh out of her. But I was really looking forward to James seeing her in it when he returned.

Amy beat me to bed, so I came strutting out of the bathroom, and struck a pose for her. I didn't get the laugh I had hoped for, she just looked more worried about the upcoming talk. So I shrugged, and climbed into bed with her. She did not seem in a hurry to talk, so I started caressing and massaging, and trying really hard to connect with her.

She eventually opened up. "Jamie, I… This is so hard! After seeing you dressed like that, I feel a little better about this first part." She turned toward me and took my hands in hers, looking me deep in the eye. "Jamie, I have been so worried about what I have so selfishly done to you. I keep searching to see if my James is still there, somewhere, but I can't see him any more. I am afraid I helped uncover something that I wish I'd never found." By this time tears were trickling down both her cheeks.

"Hush, my love." I crooned softly. "James is still here. And you are still the most important person in the world to him."

Amy worked up a tiny smile, but the tears continued to flow. "Oh, I hope so. I miss him so much! But anyway, we need to… I need to find out for sure. If there was something there, hidden, we can't just try to bury it again. It could destroy you, or us. So I have made you an appointment with Dr. Simmons. Rick is the psychologist in our group who oversees the treatment of most of our transsexual patients. He is very good. If there is anything there to find, he will work through it with us. If not, then we can both feel better about this. For the first visit, next Tuesday, we will both talk to him. No matter how that one goes, he will want to see you regularly until you get changed back, and get past the emotional upheaval."

"Frankly, I have had a few areas of concern myself. I am not sure about seeing a psychologist, but if you trust him, and you feel you need it, I agree.

"Thank you, my love. I really need to know." She quieted, burrowed down next to me, and started idly playing with my breasts. It felt so good, but I could tell there was something else on her mind.

Gently, "What else, Amy?" as I held her wrists immobile.

She looked so unsure of herself, so unlike the confident self-sufficient woman I adored. "I have done something I am afraid you will hate me for." she said in a trembling voice.

"Oh, sweetheart, don't you know by now, even after all this, there is nothing you could do to make me hate you."

She blurted "I've made a date for you tomorrow night."

I must say, that one stopped me cold. Before I could respond the words started tumbling out of Amy's mouth, hardly stopping for a breath, never giving me a chance to speak, till the whole story had spilled out.

"There's this guy, Jerry, who's part of our group. You've met him, Dr. Fredricks. He has been hitting on me good-naturedly for a couple years, and I have just as good-naturedly turned him down. Every time. Every single time. Till now. Honey, I swear to you that I have never, not once, been unfaithful to you. I have had meetings with men, one on one, evenings or weekends that some might have twisted into dates, but I have never considered them so. And there has never been untoward behavior by me. Jerry is very persistent in a non-pushy sort of way. I need to know about you, honey, so I decided to set you up in a one on one 'date' with Jerry. He thinks it is me, but it is you who will go, pretending to be me. I have made it very clear that there will be nothing sexual about this date. That I still love and am faithful to my husband, but I have been lonely lately, as James has not been around. So he is picking you up tomorrow at 7:00."

The rush of words stopped, but my head was still spinning. "Date? Jerry? Me?" I couldn't get any more thoughts together. My wife was arranging dates for me! With men! I think I am going bonkers.

Amy freed her hands and started doing delicious things to my breasts again. As my mind started to clear from the string of jolts it had just received, it started clouding with the desire Amy was arousing. One of her hands slipped down and stroked my vagina, in just the spot she had learned brought wonderful sensations to my encased cock through the silicone.

"You don't hate me, do you?"

"No, Darling, as I have already said, there is no way I could hate you. I am at a loss about why this particular thing, but I don't hate you." I paused. "Maybe I can make something positive out of this." Now I got a devilish little grin on my face. "I don't much like the idea of guys hitting on my wife, and I really don't like it when they don't take no for an answer. Maybe I can really bring that home to this little twerp!"

"Now, Jamie, you're me for this outing, don't you get me into trouble over this. I have to continue to work with Jerry, you know."

"Trust me." I don't think that made here feel any better.

Amy drifted off to sleep, but I lay awake a long time thinking this through. I had a good idea how I wanted to handle Jerry, but was concerned that my growing passivity would interfere. I hope we learn something from those blood tests Sandy is running.

Friday, October 16

The only thing of note that happened early in the day Friday was when I answered the phone.

"Hello."

There as a pause, then Amy's mom's voice, "Amy, is everything OK? What are you doing home this time of day, sweetheart?"

I was flustered. Amy's mom thought I was Amy! What to do. I obviously can't explain. And Amy has no twin sister that could be visiting. Oh well, just blunder through. "Hi, mom. James is a bit under the weather, and I stopped home to see how he is doing. I have to be back to the office shortly."

"Oh, nothing serious, I hope!"

That brought a smile to my face. Nothing more serious than her son-in-law now being a dead ringer for her daughter, breast implants, hormones, cosmetic surgery, behavioral modification. "No, mom, nothing serious. He should be right as rain real soon now. I think it is from overwork, he spent some serious time on his job last week."

"Yes, that boy does have a tendency to overdo at times. Well, I was just calling to see about getting together next week. It's been so long since we've seen you two."

"Um, well, Mom, things are real busy right now for both James and I. Any chance we can do it after Halloween?" She was agreeable, said she understood. We went on to finalize the details, then I begged off saying I was due back at work.

Before I forgot anything, I called Amy. Wonder of wonders, she was not with a patient, so I could talk to her, not her machine. I quickly detailed the mistaken identity, my excuse, the plan for next month. Amy then related the reactions to her new blonde locks. Apparently there were mixed reactions from her coworkers, but mostly positive. Jerry seemed to be definitely on the positive side. Amy had another patient, so had to go, saying she'd see me at shortly after 3:00.

I made a point of being early to Sandy's office, and it turned out Amy was a little late. This gave Sandy and me a chance to talk. Well, the news was not good from my point of view. My female hormones were sky high, way higher than transsexual patients normally get, higher even than girls in puberty. And the androgen blockers were apparently way high as well, as my free testosterone was far lower than it should be, maybe even lower than had I been castrated. Sandy was concerned about the long term effects, and on my ability to become a fertile male again. Wonderful. I talked her into not telling Amy about this right now, as she was under enough stress about my lost masculinity, without having that kind of detail. We agreed she would just report the hormone levels were high, and I should stop the pills, which we had done anyway.

With Amy coming, we decided not to explore it right now, but arranged for me to come back to her office tomorrow. About then, the nurse showed Amy in, so the topic was dropped. Amy was informed that my hormone levels were high, and that I should stop the pills. She said we already had, and the discussion shifted to Amy's procedure.

Sandy started with "Now about your enhancement, is this temporary, or permanent, because we have some options to discuss."

Amy looked at me, but I gestured that it was her call. "I don't think I want to commit to permanent. Jamie looks great, and I am looking forward to looking like that, but not sure I would like it long term."

"The reason I ask is that we have a new procedure. It is a gel substance with hormones and growth enhancers. The gel fills out the breast immediately, and is slowly absorbed into the tissue, stimulating it to grow and fill in to create a more natural enhancement. It has been in testing for years, with very good results, and we have finally been given the go ahead for limited use. You are a good candidate for it, and the really big advantage is there is no surgery, so no bruising or much in the way of pain. Mainly just a feeling of tightness in the breast, much like a new mother feels as her milk comes in. This way, by tomorrow evening, Sunday at the latest, you won't even know we did anything. Except, that is, for the increased attention you will get from men."

Amy asked me to stand up, and slowly turn. She checked my body over, trying to make up her mind if she was willing to commit to looking like I do. She asked me again, and I grinned a little, and said if she chose to, I would fully support her decision, and made a little hefting gesture with my hands. That got a giggle from her.

"All right, let's do it. I wasn't looking forward to the recovery time anyway."

"Just be warned," Sandy cautioned, "this isn't totally free from discomfort. You won't feel like doing much for the next day, maybe two."

Sandy led us to an examining room, and sent her nurse for the necessary supplies. Amy dropped her top, and took off her bra, revealing to me her beautiful upper body. Sandy had her lie back and poked and probed her breasts, studying them carefully. She then had the nurse swab Amy's entire breast area with alcohol, then a topical anesthetic, as the needles required were rather large. I moved beside Amy, and took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. She looked at me with love in her eyes, then jerked slightly as Sandy inserted the first needle. She worked her way around Amy's breasts, evenly injecting the solution, then stepped back to study the result so far.

"I've measured out the correct amount to target the DD size Jaime's breasts will be in the next week or so, but I have not injected it all yet. I need to study a bit and chose injection sites for the most even distribution. The gel does an amazing job of redistributing for a smooth natural look, but I like to give it all the help I can."

She than made 3 more injections in each breast, and told the nurse to help Amy into a special shaping/support bra the nurse had retrieved with the other supplies. Amy pulled her top on, and tried to stand. It's a good thing I was close, as she wobbled a bit.

"Changes the balance a bit, I guess." She said with a grin. I held her steady while she got her balance. Sandy gave us after-care instructions, then let us leave. I drove Amy home, as I didn't want to take any chances. We could pick up her car tomorrow.

It was about 5:30 when we got home, so I only had an hour and a half to get ready for my date. Amy and I went to the bedroom. She stripped to bra and panties, and climbed in bed, claiming fatigue, and a slight nausea. But she watched from bed, and made suggestions. Well, it was more like ordering me around, directing me to do this, then that. After all, she said, it was Amy going on the date, so she had to help dress me as authentically as possible.

I dressed in all Amy's clothes, except the shoes and bras, which didn't fit. She first laced on one of my newer corsets, and tugged the laces, noting finally that she had pulled it to its limit. My waist really was getting tiny! This was followed by a plum colored demi-bra that left a huge amount of cleavage showing, and matching lacy thong panties. She had me add a matching garter belt, and feed the garters down through my panties, for easy access in the restroom, she said. Then came the sheer black seamed stockings, which were caught up to the garters. She insisted on inspecting the seams to ensure they were straight.

She advised me on what, how much, and the colors of makeup I was to use, until I had a bold but slightly understated look, with plum eye shadow, slightly more intense eye liner than I was used to, and a deep plum lipstick. She stripped and polished my toe and finger nails to match.

She directed me to fetch my 4" black pumps, but got up herself to go to the closet to get the dress she had in mind. This was one I don't remember, a plum colored dress of a supple light fabric that hugged every curve I had. The slightly full skirt ended mid-thigh, and was about the shortest I had ever worm. It would swirl out with any quick turns, but was not so full as to let too much be seen. It had a scoop neck that showed off more boob than Amy had had before this afternoon. I felt really indecent.

Amy pulled out large silver hoop earrings, a silver choker with a heart dangling from the front, several silver hoops that turned out to be bracelets for my right wrist, and a very dainty silver watch for my left. She left my fingers bare of rings. I wondered if there was significance to that omission. After all, Jerry would know Amy wore our wedding ring most of the time. Then she dabbed some of her perfume between my breasts, on the pulse points below my ears and at my wrists, and on the back of my knees.

We had about 10 minutes left when we finished. Pretty good for a girl getting dressed, huh? Amy pulled me to the bed and sat me down carefully. She then climbed up beside me and curled her legs under herself, so she could sit facing me.

She grinned and said to me, "Lookin good, Amy!" Oh, yeah, I was being her tonight. Mental note, don't forget that! Then Amy turned serious. "Look honey. I hope you will be OK with this. I know it seems kind of strange, since I have never gone on a date except with you since we were married, and now, here, I have set you up with one. I want you to know that I consider this a hiatus from our marriage. Whatever happens tonight, it is what you need, and what I need, to try to figure all this out. Nothing that happens will count as infidelity." I started to protest, but Amy held her finger to my lips to hush me. "This has gotten so out of hand. I spoke with Rick Simmons about this, before I made your appointment with him. He felt it was very important for you to experience as much of womanhood as possible before you go back to James. This whole challenge may be your only chance, and it would be terrible to have regrets after it is too late. So I want you to promise me, Jamie. Promise me! Promise that you will BE a woman tonight. Experience. Live. Really feel how a woman feels around a man. I'm not saying to go to bed with Jerry. But I'm absolutely not going to tell you not to, either. Do what feels right for the woman you are right now. Do it for you. Do it for me!" A single tear slipped down her cheek.

I leaned across and kissed it away, then gently kissed each eye, and her mouth. "I am confused about all this, but I love you. You feel this is important, so I will go with your wishes, but I will not do anything that feels uncomfortable. There is no way I would have sex with a man, I guess maybe I cannot believe in myself as a women enough to do that. But I will play the role to the best of my abilities, and try to gain what I can from the experience. Just remember, man or woman, you are my one true love. Always."

Another tear or two leaked from Amy's eyes, and I was having trouble not dripping as well. But I managed to save my makeup.

The bell rang, and it was show time. This was going to be one tough act.

I gathered my courage, and found a smile somewhere before I opened the door. Jerry looked very nice, and just a bit nervous. He perked up a lot when he saw me, then whistled appreciatively. He then glanced around sheepishly, and asked if James was around. I fought the urge to giggle, and told him there as no problem. He took my arm, and led me to his car. When he opened the car, and was about to help me in, he suddenly pulled me toward him and kissed me quickly, full on the lips. He quickly slid me into the car and almost ran around to his side to get in, then drove quickly away.

Oh my, this was not going according to plan at all. It took me a while to piece my thoughts back together. Finally I felt I could speak without falling apart, and said as forcefully as Amy's melodic voice allowed "Jerry, I thought I made it clear that this evening was not like that! I still love James very much, and I will not be unfaithful. I should just make you take me home!"

Jerry looked contrite. "I'm sorry Amy, it's just that you are so damned beautiful tonight, and when I saw you without your wedding ring, I guess I got the wrong idea. Please, let's just go on like that didn't happen and enjoy each others company for the evening."

I seemed to relent. "OK, but behave yourself!" But I was wondering why I was not too bothered by the kiss.

Jerry perked up. "I really love what you've done with your hair! That color is fantastic on you." I blushed. "And if you don't mind my mentioning, I could have sworn that you weren't that well endowed last time I saw you."

I giggled. "I had a visit with the boob fairy this afternoon. She goes by the name of Sandy these days. I have a friend that I was jealous of in that department, and when Sandy told me about a new treatment they have, I decided to go for it." I stuck out my chest, and turned it a bit from side to side. "You like?"

"Yes, I like very much. Very, very much!"

We went to a classy little bistro Amy and I hadn't been to before. There were lots of quiet secluded booths, perfect for conversation, or more romantic pursuits. I laid the ground rule that I was off work, and I didn't want to talk about it. I hoped that would keep me from being tripped up by something that Jerry and Amy both knew about from work, but I didn't. So we talked about movies, and books, the circus that politics had become, and the clowns that inhabit it. Jerry was easy to talk to. I found that we shared a taste in books. I tried to be careful, as Amy's taste is similar, but diverges somewhat. We had similar political views. We had visited and enjoyed or disliked some of the same parts of this country, and the world. Dinner was surprisingly enjoyable, good wine, good food, good wine, good conversation, more good wine, good company. I was feeling pretty lucky that I had snagged Amy before she met Jerry, or I might have had serious competition. He did seems pretty taken with me, err Amy. Whoever! I thought back on my ideas from the other night on how to use this date to steer Jerry away from Amy. They didn't seem so hot right about now.

After dinner, we went to a little jazz club. Amy loves jazz, and I guess Jerry knew that. We sat at a small table near the back wall, where we had a pretty good view of the stage, and where we could hear each other talk, but still appreciate the music. We sipped drinks, and listened to jazz, or talked as the mood directed us. The group was pretty good. We talked through a couple of breaks they took, and enjoyed the sets of music in between. I don't remember how many drinks I had, but when we got up to leave, I was really feeling no pain. Jerry supported me unobtrusively so I didn't fall off of my towering heels.

We got back in Jerry's car, then drove to a secluded spot overlooking the lights of the city. The evening was a delightful temperature, so we rolled the windows down, looked at the spectacular light display and talked some more. I leaned my head back for a moment, and must have dozed off, because the next thing I remember was this amazing sensation coming from my breasts. As the wool from my nap cleared, my arousal grew. I felt my dress slip off my shoulder, and then my bra going loose. Then there was a jolt of electricity as Jerry sucked my nipple into his mouth. This felt so good, so different than being with Amy, I just could not rouse myself to stop it, even though I knew it was wrong.

I felt Jerry's caress my inner thigh, which set off an alarm bell. His hand moved higher. Although I had my false vagina firmly in place, I didn't want to test just how well it stood up to tactile manipulation. I laid my hand on Jerry's to stop his northward progress. I must say, he is very smooth. He turned that into a motion that carried my hand to his crotch, and was using his hand to encourage mine to massage him. He renewed his tooth and tongue attack on my breast, and next I knew I was manipulating another mans cock! How could this be happening? And why couldn't I stop it.

When my hand seemed to continue on its own, Jerry's hand returned to it's exploration between my thighs. I was amazed that Jerry's zipper seemed to be unzipping itself. Then I realized that my traitorous hand was the culprit. It reached inside, and I felt the first cock I had touched besides my own. I tried to say something, but all I heard was Amy moaning. Amy here? How did that happen? Oh, yeah, I'm Amy tonight. Recheck mental note to self!

I moaned "Jerry, no, I can't." But it wasn't very forceful. I planned to say that I was married, but what I heard come from my mouth was "It's my period." So much for planning. Think, brain. What now.

Jerry took the need to think away as he gently guided my head toward his lap, and I was suddenly face to face(?) with Jerry's manhood. OK, now would be a great time for a new plan. Seems my tongue had one, though I didn't much approve. It reached out and daintily lapped the drop of clear liquid from the tip. Hmm. Can't say I've experienced that flavor before. My tongue decided that wasn't so bad, no matter what my brain was thinking, as it flicked several times across that oh so close cock, then swirled around the head.

What now, I thought. My lips were next to turn traitor, as they wrapped around the helmet, and sucked it further into my mouth. At that point I was lost, and shortly had Jerry's very respectable member probing the back of my mouth. I tried to pull back, only to suck it back in, going deeper this time. I gagged a little, then readjusted my angle, and pushed myself further down, feeling the tip enter my throat. A couple more strokes and I felt my nose buried in Jerry's pubic hair, and my chin brushing his balls. Darn, now why did I have to notice that? My hand, without conscious thought reached in and carefully cupped his sack, gently scratched the loose skin, then caressed it, as my head moved up and down that shaft. Jerry somehow had one hand manipulating each boob, invoking delicious sensations that were running around my chest, then straight to my crotch. A few more strokes, a few more tingling waves to my own limp cock, and I felt Jerry swelling in my mouth. He was panting hard, and I would have been too, had I not been wrapped around that particular piece of manflesh. My mind said pull back. My tonsils said "Sorry, Charlie." And I felt Jerry erupt into my throat. The surge tipped me over the edge too, and I shot my tiny load into my gaff. But Jerry just kept on going, spurt after spurt, until I couldn't swallow fast enough and it leaked out around my lips. What? Swallow? Guess my throat is in on this mutiny too.

Jerry groaned and began going limp. I pulled back, licking and sucking his member clean, until it slipped from my mouth.

Oh my god. What have I done?

But then Jerry was pulling me up to his mouth, and kissing me deeply. I might not have minded that so much, but what really bothered me was that I was kissing back. Passionately. This continued for some time, before Jerry slipped down to tease and nip and suckle my still bare breasts again, lavishing equal attention on each. I heard Amy moaning again, and I thought "That little slut, can't she ever get enough?" Well, guess it takes one to know one, because right now that little slut was me. I started to shake, and pant, then I stiffened up, and came again. Jerry slowed his ministrations, becoming much gentler as I came down. He then came back to my mouth for about a hundred or maybe a million more of those kisses.

After we could separate our lips, he whispered "I knew it! I just knew you were one of the girls who can come from just having their breasts stimulated. And I just proved it. Has James ever done that for you?"

That was like a splash of ice water in the face. James! That's me! At least, it used to be me. Was it anymore? Could I ever be James again? Was I ever really James to begin with? I just didn't know.

I started quietly sobbing, and Jerry was at a loss as to what to do. He tried to gather me close and comfort me. That only made the sobbing worse. He frantically started mumbling apologies, for making me suck him off, for kissing me, for asking me on a date, for having been born. My sobs grew into wails. I think Jerry was on the verge of panic. He frantically helped me rearrange my clothing, and drove me toward home, begging me to stop crying. By the time we got to my place, I had calmed down some. At least I wasn't bawling my eyes out. My clothes were mussed, my hair tangled, and my makeup was a mess, what hadn't washed down onto my neck. I squared my shoulders, said goodnight to Jerry, and told him it wasn't necessary to walk me to the door. I regally exited his car and walked with all the dignity I could muster in the front door.

I had half expected to see Amy waiting for me, but that was not the case. I struggled into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine from the bottle of Chablis in the fridge. Leaning back on the counter, I pondered what had happened tonight. No, not what had happened, what I had done! And I considered what it meant for the future.

I walked slowly to the bedroom. Amy was sitting up in bed with a book. She saw the glass of wine, my bedraggled appearance, the black streaks of my waterproof (ha!) mascara down my cheeks and neck, and knew all was not right in my world. I don't know what I expected her to do, but breaking down and bawling was not it. Which set me off again. I managed to set down the wine glass, staggered to the bed, and collapsed next to Amy, hugging her for all I was worth.

We stayed like that till first Amy, then I fell into an exhausted sleep.