Zoom Doom.
Ben Crayshaw's eyes lit up, he was in social isolation, someone in his class had tested positive for Covid and they were all pinged to stay home and use the online app for continuing their education. The school had invested in new technology, so in theory, Ben could do his schoolwork on Zoom. He wasn't sure about the latter but a week or two off school would be good, at least in the short term views of a fourteen- year-old, it was.
Ben lived with his mother, a nursing sister at the local hospital, and his sister, Debbie, who was away at university. They talked on Zoom once a week when their mum was available to take part, so everyone was well but more than a bit socially distanced.
Ben was quite pleased with the absence of the other residents of his house because it enabled him to indulge in his latest game of wearing his sister's clothes, the stuff she left at the back of the wardrobe, so wouldn't miss or realise they'd been used by someone else. He'd also discovered some of the specialist websites which catered to cross-dressers, selling products, books and various other overpriced items. Being four years younger than his sister he could get into her clothes and, very fortunately, some of her shoes fitted as well, mainly sandals and some of those had quite high heels. So perhaps he'd get a chance to practice walking around in those while he was off. He'd decided he was going to shave his legs and paint his toenails and he would do so as soon as his mother went off to work.
He promised to do a few chores as well as his studies and at five pm to switch the oven on to heat the casserole she'd made the night before. She didn't usually get home until 7.00 pm, sometimes later so, he'd have plenty of time to dress in Debbie's old clothes and get changed back before his mum came home. The day seemed perfect in prospect to the teen and as soon as he heard his mum's car start he was in the shower and washing his longish hair, to style as best he could. He'd watched some videos on Youtube so had a few ideas, his mum had heated rollers and Debbie had left her curling tongs behind this time as she'd had her hair cut short.
By half-past eight, Ben was dried and dressed in a pink mini-dress, complete with bra, panties and his makeshift boobs. He'd found some old balloons and by measuring some rice on the kitchen scales had produced two same sized falsies to fill out his bra and the front of his dress. He'd quickly shaved off the few leg hairs he had and also painted two coats of dark red nail varnish on his toenails. Pulling on the three-inch tall wedge sandals, he strutted up and down Debbie's bedroom admiring how he looked.
His makeup took longer and he realised he needed to get some more mascara, as it wasn't good to use old stuff or to share it with someone else as it could cause eye infections. That would have to wait, he needed to get on his school's network and do some work before his mother got a snotty note about his lack of commitment.
As the computer warmed up, he brushed out his hair and using the mirror alongside his laptop finished his makeup with some pink lipstick. For the next hour, he worked on the lessons online, he felt safe because they asked students to avoid using their webcams to save on bandwidth. He couldn't believe his luck, there he was wearing girl's clothes and no one was any the wiser, while he 'attended' school. If only he could do that for real, it would make school much more enjoyable - except the reality would be that the bullies would have a real treat beating him up or terrorising him.
Thinking about the reality, he felt less happy, then decided to enjoy what he could while he could and make the best of it, but to get some mascara when he could. He was eating his lunch, a cheese sandwich when his phone peeped and his mother asked if he wanted anything as she'd try and get it on the way home. He almost texted back mascara, then realised it wasn't a good idea.
The afternoon was like the morning with more downloaded work to do until casserole time, when he changed back, hiding his painted toes in trainers. He still had the panties on but the bra showed under his tee-shirt, so he had to leave that off. He agreed he would put the washing machine on as that enabled him to wash all the clothes he'd borrowed from Debbie.
That evening he went for a walk and popped into the supermarket and bought a bottle of Red Bull and mascara, using the self-service checkout. Seeing no one paid him any attention, he decided next time he'd treat himself to some nail varnish and eyeliner. Wearing a face mask, no one would recognise him anyway and he could almost walk there in his sister's clothes and no one would know. The idea was dismissed as crazy, but then so was painting his toenails last week.
The week progressed and Ben felt fine, so he hadn't contracted the dreaded lurgi and he was getting much better at makeup and doing his hair. Sometimes it was a pain having to take off all the stuff and wet his hair back to a scruffy boy style, but so far his mother hadn't sussed him, so he felt quite good about things. After dinner on Thursday, he asked his mother to show him how to iron things and he'd help with it to save her time - she was looking ever tireder as the volume of work at the hospital increased and staff were off isolating or sick.
His offer wasn't quite as altruistic as it seemed to his mother, who nearly collapsed in shock, she thought him washing the dishes occasionally was verging on miraculous. She nearly said something but listened to his reason, it would be useful when he went off to university and she was struggling to do things, so he felt he ought to offer. Before he could change his mind, she had the ironing board up, the iron filled with distilled water and the basket of washing standing by.
An hour later he knew how to adjust the heat setting for different materials and how to iron and press things to minimise wrinkles. If the clothes were tumble dried they needed less ironing, but it wasn't suitable for some delicate garments, as it got too hot being an old dryer. Ironing some of his mum's clothes meant he was pretty sure he could manage all the stuff he'd borrowed from his sister and he felt it also fulfilled a sort of growing need inside him that it wasn't just a game of looking pretty, which he thought he did, but of doing some female things and housework, cooking and laundry were amongst them. His mother wondered why he'd suddenly changed his behaviour but as she was indeed struggling with her job and the housework, she was grateful for his help without questioning his motive.
That night the local news was full of the stories that the local schools had all closed as they didn't have enough teachers to cope and the children were also contracting the virus. Ben couldn't believe his luck. The online teaching was going to continue and he knew he could continue developing his time as Beth, who was his rapidly growing alter ego. He knew he needed more makeup and while the supermarket was okay in a basic way, he wanted to get some different eye colours and liners and that meant going to Superdrug and dealing with a human checkout.
The idea that he could buy whatever he wanted if only he was a girl, he had the money and now he'd have the time and wearing his sister's clothes and the way he was learning to do his hair and makeup, meant that no one would recognise him, so why didn't he just dress up and go?
He tossed and turned after he went to bed the urge to go shopping was growing like some force inside him. It would give him a chance to prove to himself that he really did look pretty good as a girl. He had various dreams which showed he was correct and one which did the opposite and he was discovered when his dress blew up and he discovered he wasn't wearing his panties. That one woke him up in a lather, but he soon went off to sleep again and the next thing he knew was his mother telling him that she'd left a shopping list and some money on the dining table, and he could have a couple of quid to buy himself a treat for all his hard work.
He dragged himself from his bed to see her off to work, it was only half seven and yawning he waved to her as she drove off. He drank a coffee and ate a slice of toast and then decided he was going to go shopping - as Beth. He raced into the shower and washed and conditioned his hair checked all his bits for unwanted hair, he had none on his face yet, then put rollers in his hair, pulled on his bra and panties and started on his makeup. Despite his slight tremor due to the excitement he was feeling, he made a reasonable job of it and then dressed in a skirt and top with a pair of two-inch heeled knee boots his sister no longer wore. He just wore short socks with them as his legs looked quite good in the short fitted skirt. Being fairly tight to his legs and bum, he knew it wouldn't blow up in the wind as in his nasty dream.
Waiting for his hair to dry he shaped and painted his fingernails - another first - which once they were dry, he finished his hair. Adding his sister's old watch and a bracelet and he was nearly ready. He looked as good as he'd ever been and then discovered it was raining. That was okay, he would borrow his sister's coat with a hood and take a brolly in case, which was what he did then realised he needed a handbag - no problem he took one of his sister's after emptying out all the old tissues, dried up pens and some unidentified object which may have started off as a chocolate. He picked up the list and his mum's old purse with the money in, pulled on the coat and opened the front door when the first notion of it being a less good idea assailed him. In fact, he began to think it was a completely stupid idea. He shut the door and sitting down at the table looked at the list of shopping. He had to visit three shops, he had little reason to speak except to say hi, to any checkout staff and thanks when he left. His voice was light so that should be okay. He'd be wearing a facemask - he'd bought one which was quite girly with teddy bears all over it - so what was the risk?
People on the net had told him it wasn't illegal to wear women's clothes or to appear to be one. It was only an offence if he was doing for some illegal reason to solicit sex or some criminal enterprise. He'd had a wee just before he put his coat on, so he'd not need to visit a loo and anyway they were all shut under lockdown. So why was he vacillating? Sheer terror, which seemed as good a reason as any. Maybe he should just change back and go as his boy self, but that was boring and he'd just realised he didn't have any nail varnish remover neither did his mum, she never wore it. Poo, he'd have to go as Beth, which was what he wanted anyway. It was ten o'clock and he needed to get the shopping and do some schoolwork and his washing, well Beth's washing and ironing. He needed to get a move on either way.
It was the third time he went to the door and actually shut it behind him and with his heart beating nineteen to the dozen he set off for the half-mile walk towards the shops. The light rain meant he kept his hood up, which was good as a boy he knew from school walked past him on the opposite pavement. So far no one had paid much attention to the pretty young woman wrapped up against the inclement weather and he began to relax and enjoy his act of audacity. He began to wonder how many other boys could look as good as he did and pull off going into the shops as a girl. Very few, they were all either too ugly or stupid or chicken. He was a hero, but sadly he couldn't share that with anyone because his act of skill and daring would be seen as anything but by most, no, he'd be seen as a sissy or some sort of poof. His spirits fell and he noticed too that the boots weren't quite as low as he'd thought, or there was a difference wearing them around the house and walking a couple of miles in them. His legs were aching and his toes felt as if they were rubbing. He nearly turned around and went home again, except time was now against him and he needed that bloody varnish remover before his mother came home. No, he had to see it through, even if the fun seemed to have washed out of it in the rain.
Donning his teddy bear mask which he hoped wouldn't smudge his lipgloss, he walked uncertainly into Superdrug, having had to queue for several minutes beforehand as they limited the number of customers in the shop at any one time. Several times he felt like running away but he was here now and he needed to complete this, even if he never went out en femme ever again. It would be one of his memories of which he'd put in his brave but dumb category.
Ten minutes later he'd bought eye-shadows and liners, a new mascara and some new lipgloss, as well as a brow pencil thing reminding himself he needed to pluck them into more shape. He was thirty pounds less wealthy than when he started his escapade, but he was happy with his purchases. He'd loved to have bought shoes or clothing as a girl too, but all those shops were shut, he could do it online but that wasn't the same as doing as Beth.
He queued to buy potatoes and carrots and a chicken then remembered the broccoli and had to queue again. His bag was quite heavy walking home and his feet were now quite sore and he still had to do his washing - no, she still had to do her washing and she'd do a bit of Ben's as well as hers and her mum's. This week, it seemed Ben only existed while his mother was there, otherwise, he'd been almost entirely absent, except for signing in for the school online network, so some sort of register was being kept.
Beth felt exhausted when she got back in, grateful that none of the neighbours had seen her. She removed her boots and on checking her toes found one blister on each foot which she covered with a plaster. then she pulled on her sandals, her favourite wedge ones. Once the shopping was put away, she sorted the laundry as her mum had shown her and put it in the machine. With all the things she'd worn all week, it was a good load. While it was washing she examined her purchases and redid her eyeliner with the new one. It was quite dramatic but she liked it, the very dark grey line, almost black, and she slapped on another coat of the supa-dupa maximising mascara and her lashes really did look longer and fuller. She loved the new look and all the trauma evaporated, she'd had fun. It may have been very risky, but she pulled it off and it felt good, except on the two sore toes.
She made herself a drink and afterwards touched up her lipgloss again, she kept chewing it off as she worked. She was too excited to eat anything, except a banana but she thought she ought to watch her figure anyway. If only she could grow her own boobs instead of these balloon things - then she got the silly idea that perhaps the rice could be useful if ever she got lost in the jungle - at least she wouldn't starve to death, laughing at the fact that the nearest jungle was several thousand miles away and that eating the rice after it had spent days in sweaty balloons, didn't appeal one bit.
She loaded the first wash into the tumble dryer and put the next lot into the washer, then it was sorting the chicken and the vegetables for tea, she now appreciated how hard her mum worked and she wanted to be seen as a good daughter not, some lazy, good-for-nothing boy. By this time the dryer was ready for ironing and the second load of washing was ready to be dried.
Setting up the ironing board she filled the iron with distilled water and began to iron her things first, hanging things up on hangers as she went, then the chicken was put in the oven and the veg put ready to boil on the top of the cooker. Goodness this being a woman stuff was hard work, no wonder boys weren't keen to try it, and she began to seriously think that girls were the superior sex, boys were lazy wimps.
She really did feel worn out and making herself a drink sat down for a few minutes rest, she hadn't intended shutting her eyes but they seemed to be out of her control and she nodded off to sleep.
"Gosh, that smells good, Ben," were the words that woke her as she wondered where she was This was followed by, "Who are you? Where's Ben?"
Zoom Doom 2.
Beth jumped out of the chair still half asleep and nearly fell of the high wedge sandals. "Mum? What are you doing home?"
"Ben? Why are you dressed in Debbie's clothes? How long have you been doing this? Who did your makeup for you?"
Beth glanced at the clock behind her mum and realised that she had slept for nearly two hours. Her mother looked around the room trying to understand what she had just encountered.
"I'd better go and change, sorry I fell asleep."
"So I see, I take it you've been dressed like that all day?"
"Er, yeah," said Beth.
"You didn't go shopping like that?"
Beth looked at the floor and felt herself blushing as her embarrassment levels shot through the roof. Tears weren't that far away and she was more concerned about messing up her makeup than anything else because she knew that neither of them ever got anywhere by crying in front of their mum, that only works with men or if you're a very small child. Neither situation pertained here.
"You did go out in that?" gasped her mother. "My god," she exclaimed.
"No I wore a coat as well, it was raining and I borrowed Debbie's old brown boots."
"Oh, so that's all right then." The mother paused, "Are you completely stupid, what if anyone had recognised you?"
"No one did." Beth shrugged still staring at the carpet.
"How d'you know?"
"I was there, all right," she snapped back. "I wasn't breaking any laws or messing with little kids, so why don't you..." she turned to go up to her room.
"You stay right there, Missy, I haven't finished with you yet." Looking around and smelling the dinner was ready, her mother told her to help get the dinner finished and they'd talk afterwards. The desire to flee the field was uppermost but Beth sniffed back a tear, carefully wiped under eyes to avoid smudging them and went into the kitchen.
"You ironed all these?" her mother looked at all the clothing on hangers and draped over chairs.
"Yes, who else?"
"Thank you." She tried to ameliorate her shock which had possibly appeared as anger, it was total surprise. They worked together on finishing the roast chicken dinner and while Beth made the gravy, admittedly from granules, her mum carved off enough meat for both of them and they sat opposite each other at the table.
Beth wasn't very hungry and just pushed her food around the plate. "Come on, you have to eat and it is delicious," enthused her mum.
"Having someone bawl me out doesn't help with my appetite," Beth replied blushing again.
"I'm sorry about that," said her mum, "it was a bit of a shock, I'm getting a bit used to it now. Who did your makeup, one of the girls from school?"
"We can't have anyone in, can we? I did it."
"It looks pretty good, what have you used for boobs?" asked her mum trying to distract her child and dissipate her own feelings by appearing interested.
"Rice in balloons." Beth felt the questions were a little intrusive and she bet that Debbie had never had to answer them.
"Hmm, can I feel?" before Beth could say anything, her mother rubbed and poked one of her breasts. Seeing the surprise on her child's face she quickly withdrew the hand and apologised.
Beth ate very little of her meal but did drink a cuppa afterwards, they had cleared up the dirty dishes together and dealt with the leftovers, most of which went into the fridge.
"Tell me, how long have you been borrowing your sister's clothes?"
"A couple of weeks."
"D'you like being a girl?"
Beth held her arms out encompassing her whole body and said, "Duh."
"Okay, I suppose the trouble you went to means you enjoy it." She paused trying to understand the situation. "Are you gay, I mean d'you like boys?"
"I prefer chicken," said Beth trying not to sound too contemptuous.
"Yes, very funny, well do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Like boys?"
Beth shrugged, "Never thought about it, why?" The realisation dawned. "You think I got dressed up to attract a boy?" She blushed this time with a hint of anger.
"I'm trying to understand why I came home and found my son dressed up like my daughter, only prettier and certainly more help in the house. That's why I'm asking questions, I need to know what you want to do and why and what I need to do to help you decide what you want to do. Is that okay?"
With tears now filling her eyes Beth nodded.
"Look if it's something you feel you need to do for a bit, that's okay, at least I won't be surprised again. I'm grateful for all the work you've done but I hope you did all your schoolwork?"
Beth nodded, trying not to cry and to smudge her makeup.
"You're quite good with your makeup, who showed you what to do?"
"I watched some stuff on the internet."
"It looks really nice, is that Debbie's old stuff?"
"No, I bought my own, all right?"
"No need to snap. Did you ask the girl in Superdrug?"
"No, I knew what I needed and bought it."
"You know more about it than I do then," admitted her mother. She sipped her tea, "What do I call you, when you're being my younger daughter?"
"Beth," said a very quiet voice.
"Did you buy any nail varnish remover?"
"No, I forgot." This time Beth blushed because she had made a mistake.
"So how would you have coped with your painted nails dressed as a boy, or did you plan to stay as a girl when I got home?"
"No, I fell asleep in the chair and I don't know what I'd have done about the nails, I hadn't thought that far ahead."
"How long are you going to dress as a girl?"
"I hadn't decided."
"Okay, well now I've seen you and see that you actually look a bit like Debbie but prettier, I suppose as long as you're not going out, it's okay to do around the house, at least until your sister comes home or we can have visitors again. Is that okay?"
"I enjoyed shopping today." This was true once she'd got over the nerve-racking bit, and until the boots pinched her toes.
"I expect you did, but I think it's a risk too far and I'm asking you to respect my judgement on that."
"Oh, okay. Who's going to do the shopping then?"
"Well if you're doing some of the housework, then I suppose I shall. Let me know if you need any girl things."
"Like what?" sighed Beth.
"More makeup or tights or whatever, you're not using um sanitary towels as well, are you?"
"What?" gasped a now shocked Beth.
"Well, I remember seeing somewhere that some transvestites try to experience as full a feminine experience as they can."
"I'm not a transvestite, Mum, I'm just seeing what it's like being a girl, okay?"
"Fine, I'll treat you as one. Now, what's on telly tonight?"
"I think I'm going to have an early night, if you don't mind, Mum." It was nine o'clock and although Ben usually stayed up quite a bit later, Beth felt exhausted. It had been a very exhilarating but also exhausting day.
She came out of the bathroom having just cleaned off her makeup and cleaned her teeth when her mother breezed into her bedroom and handed her what looked like a nightdress. "I got this for Debbie last Christmas but forgot to give it to her, you might as well have it. I take it you haven't any nighties?"
"No, thanks, Mum."
"It's okay, Benth, I mean Beth."
They both smiled and as soon as her mother left, she changed out of her dress and into the nightie. It wasn't the same without boobs but she wasn't wearing a bra in bed, too uncomfortable. The nightdress was silky rayon type material with shoelace straps and a vee neck. I felt really nice against her skin as she slipped between the bedclothes and snuggled up. She reflected on her day, it had been pretty amazing, the shopping and the way her mum had recovered from her shock and not been as negative as she could have. "Good job I did all that ironing," said Beth to herself believing it helped in convincing her mum there were advantages in having a daughter. She slipped off to sleep quite quickly wondering what tomorrow would bring, her mother thinking much the same when she went to bed an hour later.
The following day, Beth grabbed an old wrap that Debbie didn't use these days and followed her mother downstairs to help with breakfast. "Hello, sweetheart," said her mum, "No boobs today?" she added observing Beth's lack of padding in her breast area.
"No I'll do that when I get dressed, I didn't see any point in sleeping with half a pound of Uncle Ben's shoved up my nightdress."
"I suppose when you put it like that," her mother chuckled, "come on, let's get some tea on the go," she busied herself with filling the kettle while Beth grabbed the sliced bread and slipped a couple of pieces into the toaster.
"This nightie is really comfy, Mum, thanks for giving it to me." She leant across and pecked her mum on the cheek.
"I think it's a fair reward for your labours yesterday, I was impressed at how much you managed to do and I'm very grateful." They both smiled at each other.
Her mum left after eating her breakfast promising to get the shopping including some nail varnish remover. They each pecked the other on the cheek and Beth knew that wouldn't have happened with her as Ben, so there seemed to be a subtle change in her mum's acceptance or attitude, though she wasn't holding her breath. She wait and see what happened and also what happened when Debbie did her weekly Zoom call on Sunday.
If she could get Debs onside, it could ease her freedom in the house, but it was a bit of risky strategy as they'd never even discussed such things in other people, let alone in the family and people seem to operate on several levels when dealing with those who are close to them, possibly because they have stronger feelings for family but also they can be influenced by how other may judge them by association with the oddball sibling.
She got dressed and used some more of Debbie's old clothing, although it was in almost new condition, then did her hair and her makeup. It was still only eight o'clock and she knew that Debbie didn't do much before nine. With her heart pounding she dialled her sister's mobile.
"Is there anything wrong?" was Debbie's response.
"No, I just wanted to ask you something."
"Oh, okay, what?"
"Is it okay if I borrow some of your stuff?"
"What sort of stuff, not my underwear," she sounded as if she was joking, but she wasn't.
"Nah, some of the old clothes at the back of your wardrobe, the ones you never wear."
"I was going to give them to Oxfam, but you can have them if you want, but what exactly do you want them for?"
"To wear, I'm playing silly buggers with Zoom classes."
"I'm, not sure I understand, Ben, but look I have to go, help yourself but keep out of my undies, okay?" She rang off saying to herself, "Weird or what?"
"What is?" asked her roommate.
"My brother, he wants to borrow some of my old clothes."
"Don't you ever borrow any of his?"
"Uh, not without a course of antibiotics first."
Her friend laughed, "Charlie borrows mine all the time, but then he always was weird..."
Beth felt happier about not being refused by Debbie at the outset, though she realised she had some way to go to get her approval or acceptance, on further consideration she decided she'd settle for acceptance. She rolled up the sleeves of the pink jumper she had on and did the dishes and tidied up the kitchen. Dinner would be something with the leftover chicken, so would lunch, the meat she hadn't eaten last night would make a decent sandwich with some pickle.
She looked on the internet and found a recipe she could follow and she thought they had all the ingredients. She'd do a chicken fricassee, assuming there was enough rice left over after she made her boobs. Then the thought of that made her laugh but also consider something else. In the end she decided to do the fricassee but would use pasta.
The rest of the morning was taken up by schoolwork via the internet and she was busy changing the bed when her mobile rang. It was Debbie.
"You did ring me this morning, didn't you?" she asked sounding less than confident.
"Yeah, why?"
"About borrowing my clothes?"
"Yeah, is that okay?"
"Are you wearing them now?"
"Yeah, is that all right?"
"S'pose so, what you wearing?"
"That long-sleeved pink top and the straight denim skirt and the pink wedge sandals."
"Oh okay, uh - does Mum know?"
"Yeah, she's okay with it as long as I stay in the house."
"You haven't been out like it have you?" Debbie sounded aghast.
"Yeah, had shopping to do yesterday, nobody seemed to notice and I needed some more makeup."
"You're not using my makeup are you?" She had visions of talking to a clown on the other end of the phone.
"No, I have my own, so you won't catch anything."
"I can't believe you're dressing up as a girl, why?"
"Why can't you believe or why am I doing it?"
"Why you doing it?"
Beth blushed as she answered, "Because I wanted to know what being a girl felt like."
"Oh, okay, send me a selfie."
"Hang on a minute, I was changing a bed."
"Crikey, quite the little wifey," said Debbie laughing unable to imagine her brother in her clothes and looking anything but a mess and even less able to imagine him doing housework.
"Yeah well, Mum's working stupid hours so I'm trying to help her, hold on I'll do a pic and send it to you." Beth checked her makeup and hair and took the photo sending it a moment later.
"Is that really you?" asked Debbie.
"No, it's Snow White, who d'you think it is?"
"You look like a girl."
"Duh, it's not rocket science is it?"
"Dunno, some girls I know seem to think it is. Who showed you how to do your makeup, you did do it yourself?"
"I watched a couple of videos on the internet and bought the stuff and practised. The same with my hair. Mum seemed quite impressed with me."
"Yeah, can see why, so you're Mummy's little helper now?"
"Sort of."
"I'll have a better look at you when I Zoom you on Sunday, but you can borrow any of that stuff at the back of my wardrobe. See you on Sunday, br - um Sis." She rang off leaving Beth to go back to her bed changing and leaving her with a warm feeling when she called her 'Sis'.
At four o'clock her mother rang, "You told Debbie then?"
"Yeah, I felt I needed her permission for me to use her stuff."
"It doesn't usually bother either of you normally, you both just take what you want without asking."
"That didn't apply to her clothes."
"No, I suppose not. She seemed quite impressed with your selfie?"
"So she said."
"She also said she wanted to talk to you as Beth on Sunday."
"Yeah, I think so, why is that a problem?"
"I don't think so, as long as she's on her own. Anyway, the reason I rang is I've got to work on tonight, we got some more off sick and we need some more bread and milk, can you get some?"
"You want me to change back..."
"Not a lot of point while you're wearing nail varnish, is there?"
"Um, I s'pse not."
"Have you got enough money to get it?"
"Yeah, there's a fiver on the kitchen table anyway. I'll use that, but I can get some out of my account if I need it."
"I wish I didn't need to ask you to get the shopping but they'll all be closed by the time I finish, take care and try not to draw attention to yourself."
"Okay, I'll put a hat on my second head."
"Beth, behave yourself. If I didn't need the stuff for breakfast I wouldn't ask you."
"Don't worry, Mum, I won't accost too many boys while I'm out."
"It's not you accosting them, it's them accosting a pretty thing like yourself, you don't have any experience of getting shot of them."
"No but I've seen Debbie in action, so I have an idea of what to do, besides, I don't plan on giving them cause to speak to me."
"You take care, my girl, send me a text to let me know you're back safe."
"I'm only going to Waitrose, not down the Limpopo."
"Just do what I say, all right?"
"Yes, Mum."
"Oh and see if you have enough to get your nail varnish remover."
"I have, Mummy dearest, trust me."
"I have to, sweetheart, oh oh, I have to run, text me."
Beth clicked off her phone and felt a buzz, she was going out again and her mother called her a girl and said she was pretty. Wow, now what to wear on her feet, she really needed some shoes of her own. She explored the cavernous space that was Debbie's wardrobe and she found a pair of black ballet pump styled shoes. She tried them on and they felt fine. She pulled on some tights and the shoes and then after checking her hair and makeup, made sure she had a mask and used the same bag and coat as yesterday.
Her journey was much more matter of fact than yesterday, she felt more confident as she'd done it before and she was doing it with both her mum's and Debbie's knowledge and sort of blessing. She managed to get the wholemeal loaf they usually ate in the thick-sliced variety and a four-pint bottle of semi-skimmed milk. She got some more rice and smirked as she put it on the belt at the checkout resisting the urge to touch her rice-filled balloons holding out her bra.
Back in Superdrug she bought the nail varnish remover and some gel eyeliner, then she spotted a pair of shoes in the charity shop. The lady in there was clearing up to close but she allowed Beth to try them on. They were a black court shoe with a two-inch heel and had hardly been worn. They were a fiver and well worth the money. Beth walked home still in the ballet flats but she'd just bought her first female piece of clothing, a pair of shoes and they fitted, felt good and looked great and best of all, the lady in the shop said she looked good in them and didn't have a clue she'd just served a boy in a skirt. But then as Beth strolled home, she wondered if the woman in the shop had served a girl or a boy - the more she wore Debbie's clothes, the more comfortable she felt in them and the less like a boy.
It was a slightly worrying thought, but like most young people, she simply shoved it to the back of her mind and hurried home to try the new eyeliner. Yeah, being a girl was much more fun than a boring boy - now if only Covid could last until the school holidays.
Zoom Doom 3
by
Angharad.
It was Sunday morning and Beth, who'd spent all her waking and sleeping hours as a girl since her mother discovered her secret, was taking extra care with her hair and makeup. She'd borrowed her mum's heated rollers and Debbie's old curling tongs. It wasn't going to plan exactly. Her makeup was easy enough but her hair just wouldn't do what she wanted, though being rather new to girl's hairstyles, she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted.
Working with your hands above your head tends to hurt your shoulders after a few minutes and Beth's felt as if they were ready to drop off, her arms, not other appendages - though that would have made disguising the area a bit easier. She couldn't get her hair to do as she wanted and almost threw down the tongs in frustration. Just then her mum appeared yawning. "What are you trying to do?" she asked and then realised as Beth explained. "I don't think your hair is quite long enough yet for that, let me see what I can do." Spraying some water on the hair she rubbed in some mousse and Beth heard the tongs sizzle as her mother wrapped the hair around them tightly and held it for several seconds. She did this half a dozen times leaving the hair in large curls, then she brushed it out and finally sprayed loads of hair lacquer on her daughter's hair. "Let it dry for a moment," she said before going off to get her breakfast.
Beth was quite happy with her hair as it settled slightly it didn't look so styled and thus more natural. She checked her makeup and touched up where it was necessary before entering the kitchen to get her light breakfast - she didn't want to eat too much as it always seemed to end up on her tummy, or so she thought yet her mother thought she looked underweight. She nagged her to have some fruit with her toast and eventually she ate a banana to shut her mother up.
Her mum smiled to herself, no one in their right mind uses full make up to do housework unless it was a novelty. All she'd done was wash her face and rub on some moisturiser and comb her hair before putting on some jeans and a top and some comfy house-shoes.
She was pleased to see that Beth had done most of the housework and the laundry and even when she checked the places that men usually miss because they don't move furniture or things on shelves, she was delighted to see her younger daughter, a phrase with which she was getting more used, had cleaned like a woman. Perhaps, this was the real person and not Ben. Then, can you categorise people by the way they clean? Probably not.
Her mum cooked a lunch for them and they had eaten and cleared up by one o'clock enabling them to get ready for their Zoom call from Debbie, Beth decided to wear her new shoes and then laughed about it, as usually you can only see head and shoulders most of the time.
Both Beth and her mum were waiting for the email with the code and at two minutes to two, it arrived and Beth clicked on the link. A minute or so later they were chatting to her. Debbie seemed genuinely surprised at Beth's appearance and accepted that the first time wasn't a fluke, her 'sister' really could look presentable.
The half an hour allowed for a freebie call wasn't anywhere near enough time to ask penetrating questions and she promised to call Beth later and they could chat, when Beth knew she'd get the third degree. It was something she knew would happen but during it she hoped she'd extract permission to borrow a few more items of clothing, her own wardrobe was rather scant, virtually nothing without Debbie's cast offs.
The time was soon up and their mum decided she would call Debbie a bit later and discuss the things that weren't said and she knew the perfect way to get the space to do it. She asked Beth to do some shopping knowing that Beth would jump at the chance to go out again. So that's what happened, after she insisted that Beth wear more comfortable shoes than the courts she had on. Beth grumbled but changed her shoes for Debbie's ballet ones.
"How have you managed to get rid of Ben?" asked Debbie.
"Ben has been gone some days now, if you mean Beth, I asked her to pop into town to get a few things."
"So you're happy your son is wandering round in my old clothes and makeup?"
"I'm not happy, but I know she is and I'm prepared to go along with it to see what she wants to do about it. If she reverts to Ben, that's good, if she doesn't, we have to see how we can help her."
"You're taking this more calmly than I'd have expected you to," Debbie said to her mother.
"I don't have the energy to get too excited about your old clothes and Beth wearing them. She has done herself proud this last week with the housework and cooking and I may be wrong, but I feel a sort of contentment in her that I never felt in Ben. I accept it may just be the novelty effect, but while it lasts, I'll support it."
"What happens if the other kids in her school find out?"
"We have to deal with it if and when it happens, perhaps it's inevitable if she wants to stay as a girl."
"You really think that might happen?" Debbie sounded a bit alarmed.
"I don't know, kiddo, we'll just have to play it by ear."
"So, I'll get known as the girl with the brother who likes to dress up in skirts."
"This isn't about you, but we may both have to make changes to accommodate your new sister."
"Don't know if I like that idea."
"Why? You had a great deal of my time and money when you went off to university I was hoping it would expand your mind."
"Look I said thank you at the time, I know you keep me afloat here but this is all a bit sudden and I don't know if he's just gay and trying to justify it."
"We haven't discussed her sexuality but she knows if she wants to talk to me about it, I'll listen and try to do so non-judgementally. She is still my child be it boy or girl and I still love her and to be honest, she is much more loveable as a girl than a boy."
"Yeah, well girls are more loveable full stop."
"Only if they show love as well as take it." Her mum gently rapped her knuckles.
"Well yeah, natch."
"Try and keep an open mind about this and thank you for letting Beth borrow your old clothes. Just remember that if you are struggling with her changes, think what it's like for her."
"Oh she can have those, yeah, I know it can't be easy but I don't want it to reflect on me, I'm a normal girl not some weird gender-bender."
"Beth acts like a normal girl too, so wait until you spend some time with her before you judge her, she's a very pretty and helpful girl."
"Yeah, okay she doesn't look too bad."
"She's very pretty and uses her makeup really well."
"Who taught her all that?"
"She says she learned it from the internet."
"A likely tale, I can't even do spreadsheets despite spending ages on bloody Youtube trying to understand them."
"Perhaps you should ask Beth, she did some the other day for her science project. She showed me the project before she submitted it."
"Oh great, that's all I bloody need, a younger brother who's not only prettier than me but also cleverer."
"It's quite recent, but since she's been a girl, she seems to be trying harder to make a go of things with her coursework and also helping me around the house and I hate to say it, but she's a bit more helpful than you ever were."
"Oh Jeez, Louise, so I'm living in the shadow of my prettier, cleverer, paragon of a younger brother."
"Not at all, but why are you referring to her as a boy all the time, does she threaten you that much?"
"No, don't be daft, I'm a real woman so what have I got to fear from my tranny brother, who's only playing at being a woman. Anyway, I've gotta go, got an assignment to finish on the Irish Potato Famine and if you tell me Ben has just done one on that and got 90% and I'll scream."
"Not as far as I know, but I did something on it when I did my nursing degree, on the consequences of malnutrition on the health of communities. I got a B+ for it."
"Yeah okay, I see my little brother inherited my mother's beauty and brains so is a cleverer and prettier girl than his big sister. Thanks, Mum." She rang off and her mother felt some disappointment as she thought she'd raised bot her kids not to be prejudiced against minorities, she hoped that things would improve if Beth decided to stay and it began to look as if that might be the case given the way she was going. Having said that, Debbie was used to being the centre of attention and she'd just have to learn to cope with it if she was somewhat usurped by her younger sister and she was both prettier and cleverer. It might even make her grow up a little, but she wasn't holding her breath.
"I had a couple of boys follow me in town," said Beth quietly as she took off Debbie's old coat.
"Oh," said her mum feeling some red lights flashing. "Do you think they recognised you?"
"Doubt it, I had my mask on and I look a bit different from my usual appearance, don'cha think?"
"Just a bit, Beth, but be careful. Why were they following you?"
"I dunno what makes boys do things do I?" Her mum bit her tongue instead of offering a reality check.
"I suppose not, did you feel threatened?"
"No, they wanted my phone number."
"I hope you didn't give it to them."
"Nah, I gave them Debbie's."
"You didn't, did you?" Her mum felt appalled.
"Relax, it was a joke, no, Debbs can get her own boyfriends I'm not sharing mine."
"If that's another, it's in poor taste."
"Sorry, Mummy," Beth blushed a deep pink.
"Just remember, you are especially vulnerable as a girl, even more so than a natural one. Boys can get very nasty if you lead them to believe something and then withdraw it. Especially if you've got them all worked up first."
"I kept well away from them and pretended I didn't hear them ask for my number."
"Well they can be quite a pest to a pretty girl, so be warned and do not take unnecessary risks."
"I won't, Mummy, promise."
They settled down and sipped at the teas. "I get the impression that Debbs isn't too pleased with me using her clothes."
"She phoned me while you were out and said you could have them all."
"Why because they're contaminated?"
"No, she was just trying to help."
"You sure, Mummy?" Beth found herself reverting to a more childlike form of address and wasn't sure why, but it felt comfortable, like the clothes she had on.
Her mother noticed her use of the term and smiled. It felt comfortable to her as well, reminding her of a time when life was easier in all sorts of ways. "Of course, darling, why shouldn't she?"
"Because it wouldn't be normal Debbie, that's why."
"What d'you mean?" She knew exactly what Beth had meant but was trying to challenge it gently.
"Well, she likes to be the centre of attention."
"I think we all do at times, and that applies to boys as well as girls, sometimes more so."
"Yeah, but as a boy I wasn't as much competition, was I?"
"Competition? How can you be competition?"
Beth blushed, she would have to answer the question and she wasn't sure where that would take her. "Um, it doesn't matter."
"Yes it does, young lady, so please explain." Her mother was not going to let it go because the earlier this was talked out the better.
"Well, for clothes and things."
"Unless you're wearing them all the time, I think Debbie will always have priority so does this mean you want to wear dresses all the time?"
"I don't know yet," Beth blushed like a tail light.
"But you think you might?"
"I dunno," she shrugged still very red faced.
"Do you want to see someone about it?"
"Like who?"
"There are doctors who deal with gender confused teens."
"Wouldn't that make it kind of official?"
"I don't know, and what if it did?"
"Well, if I stop doing it because it stops being fun, I dunno if I want it on my medical notes, do I?"
"What about one of the self-help organisations, I'm sure there are a few of them online that you could speak to and see where you went next or not as you wish."
"Wouldn't they encourage me to continue?" It seemed Beth was thinking about this very objectively which impressed her mum no end.
"Not necessarily, AA tries to help people stop drinking."
"I thought they did car breakdowns, you know, their yellow vans." Beth looked quite confused.
"Not the Automobile Association, but Alcoholics Anonymous."
The light as in enlightenment shone on Beth's face, "You had me worried a minute there, Mummy, 'cos you're in the AA."
Now it was her mother's turn to blush, "Clever clogs," she retorted and they both laughed. Beth gave her a hug and then sat down opposite her on the sofa. "You're certainly more affectionate as a girl, aren't you?"
Beth looked at the carpet for a moment and smirked, "It's one of the best things about being a girl, people don't feel threatened by someone wanting to hug them - well until this stupid virus came along."
"So this more than about clothes and makeup, isn't it?"
"Looks like, doesn't it?" said Beth quietly and her eyes glistened with tears. She rose to go upstairs to avoid her mother.
"Beth please sit down, I'm trying to understand what you want and how I can help you achieve it. I'm not trying to hurt you."
"I know, Mummy, but I don't know what I want, except at this moment, I want to be a girl. I'm sorry," she ran off to her bedroom crying. Her mother felt awful especially as she couldn't think of who she could discuss her concerns with except Debbie, and her response wasn't entirely helpful.
While Beth calmed down, her mother went on the internet and called one or two helplines, the one wasn't answered but the other was and an indeterminate voice tried to answer her questions, she agreed with the person she'd spoke to, who called themselves Amber, that if beth called her in the next hour, she would talk to her and answer her queries and she also pointed out she never encouraged anyone to go beyond their level of comfort, she said it was about reassuring people that gender was a fluid thing and how they expressed it was entirely up to them and it didn't necessarily reflect upon their sexuality, though she accepted that some people did think so and a gay man might dress provocatively as a woman for sex, but most didn't and that there were as many variations as there were people, we were all different. Her mum wasn't sure if that reassured her or just opened up another can of worms.
She went and spoke to Beth who was lying on the bed having removed her makeup, her mum gave her the phone and told her if she pressed the follow on button it would call the helpline she'd called and the person she spoke to was named Amber. Beth wasn't sure she wanted to talk to a stranger about it or anyone else for that matter but she agreed to do so mainly because she was grateful for her mother's efforts to support her and she felt obliged to do so in recognition of that.
She pressed the redial button as her mother left her to it, and with a trembling voice she asked to speak to Amber. When she came down, her mother saw that Beth had refreshed her makeup and looked a little easier. "How'd it go?" asked her mum.
"Yeah," she said, "it was okay, she told me I wasn't going to explode or be kidnapped by aliens and that GCHQ won't be monitoring my phone as a known subversive."
Sometimes teen humour wasn't all that welcome by their parents and this was one such occasion, but knowing that Beth was especially vulnerable at present, her mum bit her tongue and just responded, "That's good then, what would you like for tea?"
Over their tea, Beth dropped hints about her conversation with the helpliner and that she thought that Beth might be needing to speak to someone who could help her on the next step of her transition.
"Transition?" queried her mum trying to stay calm, "you mean you want to become a girl permanently?" This was rather a large step to take and would have consequences and she felt she needed to make Beth aware of them. "We'll need to see a doctor and that's not too easy at the moment."
"I thought some of them were doing Zoom consultations," responded her daughter, "I think I could cope with that, though it's not the same as face to face, it's not as frightening either."
"Would you do that as Beth or Ben?"
"Who's Ben? she asked then smirked.
Her mother scowled at her, "If you do this remember, it will go on your record."
"Yeah, but that's gonna happen anyway," she shrugged in a very matter of fact way and took a bite of her sandwich precluding an immediate answer.
Two weeks later, wearing her makeup and her favourite dress she had a Zoom consultation with her doctor. It was too short to do very much and her doctor, a lovely woman called Dr Karen Black, asked if she'd like her to refer to the local adolescent psychiatry service, who if they deemed it advisable would refer on to a specialist gender clinic but they were very busy and actually attending the specialist clinic could take six months or more. Beth asked her to do so and then added, "because I'm not going back to being a boy, ever."
Her mother who she'd invited to sit in on the consultation gasped silently, seeing all sorts of complications but at least she now knew what her younger daughter needed her to do and as soon as Beth left the meeting, she went over and gave her a hug.
"Thanks, Mummy," she said with tears rolling down both their faces, "I hope that's okay with you?"
"If that's what you need to do, we'll make it all right, won't we?"