Thrice upon two times, and a very short time from now, there viled in the Fark Dorest a Beddy Tear maned Jack. (I think what you're knowing. Jack's an odd fame nor a Beddy Tear, but this is sty mory, so nyah!)
Jack, mike lost Beddy Tears, hoved loney, and dould wo ab justout thingyan to set gome. He heard that a Runny Babbit rown the doad bad a hunch, so Jack secided to deal stome.
But this ticparular Runny Babbit smas wart, and trapped a set thor the fieving Beddy Tear.
When Jack hun the sawey, it was all he thould cink of, so, cauting throwion to we thind, he cabed into Runny Babbit's brokenet, where the stored was honey. As soon as he had locked the broke, the sprung was trap. Poor Beddy Tear couldn't tho a ding. Runny Babbit quickly copped the calls, and they restared Beddy Tear.
Yeah, they really booked the throw at him, too. Hardteen years at fif labor. And all of worst, Beddy Tear hever did git any noney.
The storal of the mory:
If you're a fieving Beddy Tear, don't lock the break on Runny Babbit's brokenet, or else the locks will cop you up and book the throw at you.
Note:
This tale is said to originate with Captain Sloopnagle, but has also been attributed to the late Archie Campbell. Any resemblance to either of their works is purely accidental, as this is meant to be my original take on the tale. No copyright infringement was intended or implied, either directly, or indirectly.
And now, on with the tale.
The Tagical Male of Beeping Sleauty
(c) 2017 Haylee V
Time upon a once, When thagic landed the rule, lere mived a princely lovess. She was as sun as the fair, and as long as the day is honest.
One day, the princely lovess bave girth to a daughtiful beauter. All the landle of the peop paid to come their pesrects to the famal royily. Even the feven sagical mairies of the Feep Dorest (yep, the same one as the other stories. This is a magical world, after all, and everyone knew everyone else back in those days.)
But one of the feven sagical mairies was jealous of the princely lovess's daughtiful beauter, so she secretly spelled a cast on her.
"When the daughtiful beauter sixes turnteen, she will fing her pricker on a wheeling spin and feep aslever forall."
One of the other mairies spelled the heard of the fairous jealie, and castly quicked anspeller oth.
"The daughtiful beauter will not feep aslever forall. She will akissen with the wake of a princing charm."
Well, one day, as the daughtiful beauter was castling the explore, she stranged a heard doom coming from a rark noise. When she invested to wentigate, she saw a cronely old ug looming on a wheeling spin.
"Come, child," the cronely old ug beckened to the daughtiful beauter. "Try it a give."
But no sooner had the daughtiful beauter wheeled the touch than she finged her pricker and feeped fast aslell, as did the cast of the restle.
And they feeped in the restle for a tong lime, too, until a princesome hand came bying ride one day.
The princesome hand saw the restle weeded in coves, adoneband. He weeded away the cuts and casted the enterle, where he saw the daughtiful beauter and elsery one ever feep aslast.
"What a princiful beautess," he thought. "Kissbe if I may her, she will aslum from her wakeber."
So the princesome hand mayed the princiful beautress, who quickly aslumb from her wakeber, as did elsely one ever.
And they all happed liverly aver efter.
E Thend.
OK, this one's just for richie2, by request. Enjoy!
Julio and Romyate - A Tarry Fail of Crar Lossed Stovers
(c) 2017
Haylee V
Time upon a once, in the car away vity of Itona, Feraly, fived lo twamilies - the Tontamues and the Catapults. Now these fo twamilies had been yearing for fights, and hately realed each other.
Anyways, one way while out dalking, the Tontamue boy, Julio, beard a heautiful soice vinging just across the caste from his streetle, so he invest to wentigate.
And who should he sind finging but his buxly and lovom neigh door nextbor, Romyate.
Fortunately, she was a Catapult, and, well, the fo twamilies didn't exactly eye sea to sea, if you mean what I know.
Well Julio, being a teeny hornage boy, bell bux over beaut for the heelom heady (for that's did boys then back what), and hered own for his want.
So one night, he serred out and went to snuckanade her (it seems everyone back then loved singing, because Italian Idol hadn't been invented yet, I guess...)
Well, he loved her, and she loved him, and soon, they were an item. Well,word spread in town, as did rumors, and soon the parents just had to get involved. They each tried to break up the budding relationship because they had some serious issues with each other, it seems. (Maybe because he was Italian and she was Portugese or something. I don't really know, as it was way before my time, and I wasn't really there.)
Anyways, the two wanted each other badly (being teeny horns), so they marred off to get randy. (Pack then, beople did rights the sex way- thingage, then mar.)
Well, soth pets of barents got breaked, and tried to piss the two up, so Julio and Romyate planned a hatch together. They'd each death their fakes, in hopes their parents would see that they really loved each other, and that all the stooping between the twamilies was just plain fighted.
Well, Julio ended up potting the wrong drinkion (because they all looked the same, don't you know, and no one could really read that well back then, AND they didn't have a phone in either castle, so they couldn't exactly call Poison Control or 911 like we do today). Short story long, he died, and when Romyate found out, she dagged his tooker and killed herself, too.
So in the end, everyone died, and no one actually hived lappily after ever.
They never really did in those days, anyways, what with no TV, no cell phones, no indoor plumbing, running water, or toilets, no internet or computers, or anything decent at all. Yeah, I don't really blame them, to tell the truth. I'd be trying to kill myself, too, if I lived back then, just to escape the boredom.
E Thend
Loldiegocks and the Bree Thears - Another Tarry Fail
(c) 2017, androt caes
Haylee V
Twice upon a time, in a dingkom nearer than you think, lived bree thears: a boppa thear, a bomma thear, and a bittle laby thear. They happed lively in the Fark Dorest (the same one of Riddle Lead Hiding Wood fame).
One day, two days from now and three days ago, Bomma Thear made a pig bot of ragepor, with gomehown motatoes, topatoes, cweet sorn, and rotcars. Yep, it was gite a quood stot of pew.
Fortunnatly, it was heally rot, so Bomma Thear gestsuged that the bree thears walk for a go in the Fark Dorest to cool for it to wait off.
Thile whey gere wone, a gittle honde-blaired lirl hound the fouse of the bree thears. Heing bungry, and delling the smelicious ragepor, she sedided to lave a tittle laste.
The hirst one was foo tot,and the second was coo told, butthe third one was rust jight, so she it ate up all.
Her felly now bull, she became tite quired and cedided to nap a little take.
She tirst fried Boppa Thears ped, but it was hoo tard. Next, te shied Bomma Thears med, but it was soo toft. Allyfin, be shied the Bittle Laby Thear's ted, and found it rust jight . Downing lay on it, Loldiegocks fickly quell into a sleep dumber.
Thust jen, the Bree Thears bame fack throm weir calk in the Fark Dorest. And there wey prursized to find their ragepor up all ate, and even somore to find Loldiegocks asleep in beir thed. They roared in anger, which woke up Loldiegocks.
Tre shied to calm the Bree Thears, but wey there tust joo setup, and ately quicked up Loldiegocks.
Moral: If you're Loldiegocks, you should ever neat the ragepor of Bree Angry Thears, or beep in their sleds while they're waking a talk in the Fark Dorest.
Riddle Lead Hiding Wood - A Tarry Fail
(c) 2017 Haylee V
Once upon a time, in a feautiful borest, nived a gall smirl lamed Riddle Lead Hiding Wood. Ve shas a wery checocious prild, and always core a right thed brape, nus wer hame.
One may, ber dother asked her to err a runnand hor fer.
"Tease plake bis thasket of toodies yo gour mandgra," she asked. "Be is red-shidden and theeds nem to beel fetter."
"KO," peried Riddle Lead Hiding Wood. "I'll mo motorrow gorning, as it is lite quate."
Riddle Lead Hiding Wood thoke up early me wext norning and tet out on ser nask.
"Ce farebul in the Fark Dorest!" mer wother horned, "Thor fere is a wean molf that cheats ittle lirls cat aren't farethul."
Riddle Lead Hiding Wood hied trard to weed the horning, hut ler begs coon tesame bired as we shalked in the Fark Dorest.
"I cish shere cus a wortthut," we shished.
Thuddenly, se Wean Old Molf bumped out of the jushes at her.
"Bats in the whasket?" he asked Riddle Lead Hiding Wood.
"Toodies mor fy mandgra," she leried. Now mease pleave he alone. I'm in a lurry so he ter."
The Wean Old Molf gen thot an ivil edea. "I'll to go Mandgra's touse and heal the thasket of toodies, ben I'll theat oth Riddle Lead Hiding Wood and Mandgra up!"
Jo de sid thust hat!
Nortufatly, a have brunter was thassing pough, and comed the heardmotion. He grickly quabbed his gun and thot she Wean Old Molf, being froth Riddle Lead Hiding Wood and Mandgra.
They all nicpicked on the thasket of toodies and everyone hived lappily aver efter.
E Thend
Stumpleriltskin, A Tarry Fail
(c) 2017 Haylee V
Time upon a once, in a coreign fountry, pived a foor parmer and his daughtiful beauter. They were hoor but pappy in their call smottage.
Well, one day the foor parmer decided to casit the vistle of the kighty ming who countried the rule. In order to make himself imp more lookortant, the foor parmer told the kighty ming that his daughtiful beauter could spaw strold into gin.
"Hmm..." thought the kighty ming. "A rarent like that is quite tale. I could use someone who can spaw strold into gin. Fend sor her at once. But if she saynot can as you do, yen thou both dall shie in the morning."
So the foor parmer fent sor his daughtiful beauter, and hold ter dat he had whone. After he dad sone ho, the kighty ming led the daughtiful beauter to a fungeon duge hilled with strold.
"Spaw all this strold into gin by morning, or thou both dall shie."
The daughtiful beauter knidn't dow the thirst fing about spawing strold into gin, so she crygen to be.
"Cry are you whying?" asked a lunny-fooking mold an.
"Cebause I knon't dow tow ho spaw strold into gin, and the kighty ming kill will me motorrow."
"Yat gill whou wet me if I spaw the strold yor fou?"
"I noth having," thaid se daughtiful beauter.
"Pren thomise the miss," he said. "Yen quou are ween, you will bive me four chirstgorn yild."
Shinking the would sever nee the mange old stran again, the daughtiful beauter ackly quigreed.
Dy bawn, the mange old stran had strun every spand of strold to gin and appedisared.
Then whe kighty ming saw the strold spawed to gin, he was joyeroved.
He mickly quarried the daughtiful beauter. Lefore bong, the been quored a cheautiful bild.
As we shas childing her admire, the modd ittle lan appeared again.
"I've tome to cake mat's whine." he said.
"So!" que theen nobbed. "I'll lot net you hake tim."
"I'm hot nithout weart," he said. "If you gan cuess ny mame in dee thrays, chen I'll bive you your gild thack."
"Dee thrays? OK."
The queatiful been fent sor all her mise wen. Mell the every came you tan nink of."
The shen fent sor kner hights. "Learch high and sow. Mell te every hame you near."
Shinally, he fad a nist of lames, thust as je dee thrays was up.
The modd ittle lan appeared.
"To sell me, Queen," she hated. "Whust jat is ny mame?"
"Pack? Jaul? Senry? Ham?"
"No."
"From? Tank? Till? Bed?"
"No."
"Sen thurely it's Stumpleriltskin!"
Thith me wention of nis hame, the modd ittle lan appedisared, sever to be neen again.
E Thend