By Cheryl Bishop
Old friend, New love
Some would call it the hand of god, others the fickle finger of fate, I like to think of it as the unconscious leading me where the conscious wasn't wise enough to. In any case, it was a minor miracle that I would notice a picture of a friend I hadn't seen in over 20 years, in the obituaries (which I never read) in a paper 800 miles from home.
Of course the cynics would say “It's because you've seen the picture before”. In fact I was there when the picture was taken, and it was quite a memorable occasion, four girls (actually two young women and there TV husbands) out on the town. We had started the weekend getting glamour photos taken, and that was the source of the photo, I had recognized. This started strings of memory and motivated me to want to attend the memorial.
So I found myself meeting Kevin Greene again. “Bet you don't recognize me.”
He surprised me, “ Well it's been a long time, but I think you might be Chrissie, ah Chris Grey.”
“Boy you are good! Sorry about Barbara, you two were always such a joy to be around. You just radiated love for each other, and made the whole environment brighter.”
“Thanks in part to you and Grace, for helping us over one of the major hurdles in our marriage. How is Grace?”
“Dead, from ovarian cancer about 7 years ago.”
“That must have been hard on you.”
“Not really. We were divorced and estranged. I would only find out what was happening, belatedly though my daughter. I wasn't even invited to the funeral.”
“That's surprising, you were the model couple for the group, and helped so many others, like
Barbara and I. I can see we have a lot of catching up to do. But right now I have a lot of other people to greet. Do you have a card?”
I took out one of my, “Have motor home, Will travel” cards, and exchanged it for one of Kevin's business cards with his address, home phone and personal E-mail written on.
I didn't recognize anyone else at the wake and left soon thereafter.
A couple months later, I answered the phone. “Hello.”
“Chris?”
“Yes.”
“Kevin Greene, I really appreciated seeing you, sorry we didn't have more time.”
“I understand. How are you doing?”
“ It's hard. I really miss Barbara. But lots of friends have been checking up on me. It almost get's intrusive at times.”
“ Be thankful. Grieving is hard, but it's harder alone.”
“What's up with you. I thought you were living down south.”
“ I'm off on new adventures. About three months ago I retired, sold my home and bought a 40 foot motor home. I was on my maiden voyage, visiting my Dad when I saw Barbara's picture in the obits.”
“That explains a lot. I was wondering about the business card. What's Chrissie up to?”
“Pretty much back in the closet. The Bible Belt, especially small town south were I was living, is not conducive to being out.”
“But traveling in a motor home would present all kinds of opportunities.”
“I don't even have a female wardrobe with me.”
“You did say, you were back in the closet. I find that surprising. You seemed to enjoy being out, and seemed comfortable as Chrissie.”
“I enjoyed being accepted as Chrissie. But I fear being rejected or worse as Chrissie, and the risks outweigh possible rewards.”
“For most of us it's a compulsion that is hard to suppress.”
“After my son, Mark was killed, I think both Grace and I went into depression. I really didn't have the energy for the transformation and Grace wasn't there for encouragement and emotional support.”
“Didn't you try to connect with a support group after your divorce?”
“I went to a few meetings, but I didn't really connect with anyone like you, and it didn't seem to fill a need.”
“ I think I remember you dropped out of our group for a while, with a similar explanation, but you came back.”
“It turned out I missed you and Barbara and a few of the others.”
“Thank you, I also wanted to thank you for the comment about Barbara and I radiating love.”
“You really did.”
“We always loved each other. But my transvestism was really threatening the marriage until you and Grace got us on the right track.”
“We were all groping for ways to cope. The interaction helped us all.”
“Back then it seemed to a lot of us you had found the magic formula in Grace. And we wanted a little of your Pixie dust.”
“I guess subsequent events have proved otherwise.”
“Death of a child is harder than transgender issues. Without Grace, Barbara would never have agreed to the picture weekend, and in retrospect, that weekend was pivotal to our marriage.”
“I have fond memories of that weekend. But, how was it pivotal to your marriage?”
“That was the turning point, in changing Barbara's view of Kate from rival and enemy, to friend and ally in keeping Kevin happy. Barbara was having real trouble accepting Kate, and I was feeling rejected and unacceptable. Having that part of me, cause Barbara so much pain, also weighed on me. Grace told Barbara that she had to find a way to cope with Kate. That she had to accept that Kate was part of the man she loved, and that Kate wasn't going to go away, unless she took Kevin with her. She knew how much it hurt to see the man she loved try to transform himself into a woman. But she had to find a way to accept that part of Kevin and integrate it into the marriage. She said that, for her taking the role of big sister/girl friend worked pretty well. She actually took some pride in helping create Chrissie's ladylike appearance and comportment. She suggested trying the role of girl friend to Kate for the weekend and see how it worked. She said she found Kate one of the nicest of the TV's and one she liked as a girlfriend. She said she found going out with Chrissie terrifying, but that there hadn't been any trouble in your previous outings, and that she felt Kate was more passable than Chrissie. She suggested that Barbara would find it much easier to cope if she regarded Kate as a friend and ally in keeping Kevin happy, rather than a rival. That talk is what got Barbara to agree to that weekend outing.”
“I didn't know she had done that. But it is the kind of thing she would do.”
“We agreed that was the best marriage counseling we ever got.”
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“I have started thinking about life after Barbara. It's the reason I called. I was thinking of the talks we had, and how helpful I found your judgment and perspective. I wanted to invite you to come visit when you are in this area again. Actually I would like to visit with Chrissie if you can get her out of the closet. But a visit with Chris would also be fine.”
“I don't have anything scheduled right now, but I want to accept your offer. Let me get back to you when I can schedule the visit.”
“ Can I expect Chris or Chrissie?”
“Let me think about that too.”
“I'm looking forward to it either way.”
“Me too!”
“This may be a good place to end this call.”
“Yeah.”
“Bye for now.”
“ Call any time. Goodbye.”
With what I sensed was some reluctance on both sides, the call ended.
Note: The chapter numbers don't align with the posting numbers, because multiple chapters have been posted together
After the phone call, I couldn't get Chrissie out of my mind. I had come to use her mostly as a masturbating tool. The prospect of getting out of the closet, seemed to bring out the old urges and compulsions. They seemed stronger and more compelling than I remembered them. After a night with very little sleep, I went to my storage locker and loaded a cardboard movers wardrobe and two large boxes of Chrissie's things into the motor home. The next two days were spent sorting trough these. Few of the mostly 30 year old clothes would be of any use. I had put on weight (probably one of the reasons I was no longer comfortable presenting as Chrissie ) and most of the clothes would never fit me again. Also much of it was dated. I hadn't realized how many pairs of pointy toed stilettos I owned. I had memories of being pretty confident in heels, but trying them on again felt wobbly and insecure.
It was becoming clear that I would have no peace until Crissie scheduled a visit with Kate. So I called Kevin and scheduled a visit in two weeks. I would drive north on Monday, spend Monday night in a Walmart parking lot, then arrive at Kevin's Tuesday afternoon, transform into Crissie in his driveway, in the motor home and have a hen party with Kate that evening.
I was like a kid waiting for Christmas. I had to buy new cosmetics, foundation, powder, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, rouge, nail polish (and acrylic nails), even perfume, and practice with them. I had forgotten how involved the transformation was, and realized that it wasn't so much social concerns, but depression and the resulting lack of energy to do the transformation that had put me back in the closet. I washed my wig. I had many wigs, but the shoulder length brunette that Grace had finally convinced me was most flattering, had pretty much become Chrissie's standard, and I was pretty sure that is how Kate would remember Chrissie.
The choice on clothes was not as easy as the hair. While I managed to put together a few outfits that might work from the old clothes, I also did some shopping for new outfits. Back when we had known each other at the tri-S meetings heels and dresses had been pretty standard, even then real women were seldom seen that way except for formal parties, church, and a few jobs. We used to say you could pick out the GG's because they were the one in flats and pants. From what I saw of the TV scene on the internet, this had changed somewhat. The focus had shifted from providing a safe place to express our alternate persona, to helping us be comfortable owning that persona. Nowadays that often included blending into and being comfortable in the larger society.
Finally the time to visit Kate came.
The trip went uneventfully, and with a little help from the GPS I pulled into Kevin's driveway about 2PM Tuesday. He quickly came out to greet me. I gave him a quick tour of the motor home and offered him a beer. He protested that I was his guest and I should come into the house. I countered that Chrissie was Kate's guest and she had hardly let me get any sleep since the invitation. He relented and I opened a beer for each of us, and we sat to talk.
“This is a nice set up, how are you enjoying it?”
“It's still pretty new for me. I was on the maiden voyage when I reconnected with you. But so far I am finding it quite comfortable and enjoyable.”
“If I did something like that, my first thoughts would be adventures for Kate.”
“Until you reawakened her, Chrissie was pretty dormant. But she is anxious to get out of the closet now.”
“I'll get going then. How long does Chrissie need to get ready?”
“Good question, I'm not really sure, don't have much recent experience. It's 2:30 now why don't we shoot for 4:00. I'll give you a call when I'm ready.”
“Sounds good. Looking forward to seeing Chrissie again.”
“Not as much as she is looking forward to getting out of the closet.”
“OK then see you in a bit.”
With that Kevin returned to his house.
I began with a close shave. I had shaved my legs, underarms and chest the night before. Next I put on the nails. This was not the most practical approach, but helped put me in a feminine state of mind. Next the “very red” (that was the label on the bottle) polish, not the current fashion, but my archaic notion of sexy. I admired the nails as they dried and began to feel the tension relief that had once made dressing nearly addictive.
Next came a pair of pink nylon bikini panties. They were tight enough to be an effective gaff, yet the lace trim and little bow added to the delightful feminine feeling. Then came my 36B front hook, nude, under wire bra. This was from the old clothes and had been my favorite. My silicone enhancers had survived the storage in good shape and were added. Pulling in the loose flesh on my chest created a natural cleavage. This had been harder to obtain in my younger days. After I pulled on a new fresh from the package pair of control top panty hose I was ready to start on my face. The start was the Merle Norman Beige foundation, that Grace had found for me so many years ago. Next came a little blush and then powder to set the foundation, followed by white and sky blue eye shadow and black liquid eye liner, then mascara. The lipstick was very red, not the current fashion, but that of the Chrissie, Kate would remember. Putting the wig on, combing it and looking in the mirror at Chrissie. I'm not sure how much self delusion was involved, but I thought I looked pretty good.
I put on the ivory colored silk blouse and a white pleated skirt that came just above my knees. For shoes I settled on white skimmer flats. I checked the clock, 3:35. I added a bracelet watch, a silver heart locket, silver dangle earings, and an emerald ring. I checked everything in the mirror, combed my hair, decided all was OK. I called Kate at 3:45 and she said she was ready for me and to come over. I remembered to put on some white linen perfume, and left the closet.
I took the long step out of the closet, the short distance to Kate’s door.
Kate met me at the door, the image of a 1950 sitcom mom, shirt dress, heels and full makeup.
“I've missed our talks” as she hugged me.
“I was so anxious, after your invitation, I could hardly sleep.”
“Come in and get comfortable, we have a lot of catching up to do.” as she led me to the family room. Have a seat, I'll get us some refreshments.”
She was back in a flash with a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine in it, “You can open that while I get us some glasses” as she handed me a corkscrew.
She was back with a tray of cheese and crackers and two glasses as I was screwing the corkscrew into the cork of the bottle of white zin.
“I am really glad you came. It was a real surprise to see you at the wake.”
I filled both glasses. “I was visiting my dad and recognized Barbara's picture. You guys had been special to me, and it fit my schedule so I stopped by.”
“As I grappled with my loss. I remembered how helpful our discussions had been and wished you were around here, to talk with.”
“You must have lots of other people, you can talk with.”
“Not about Kate, and not who's opinions I respect as much as yours.”
“I know you have remained active with Tri-S so you should have lots of people to talk about Kate, unlike closeted Chrissie.”
“Yes, but you are unusually objective for that community. Most distort the world to fit their views.”
“That's probably true of people in general.”
“You're probably right, but for whatever reason I respect your opinion more than most.”
“Thank you, it sounds like you have something specific you want my opinion on?”
“Well yes, I had thought we would get deeper into the wine before getting here. I loved Barbara more than anything, but now that she is gone I think I would like to explore Kate more deeply.”
"What do you mean by that and what do you want my opinion on?”
“I would like to explore living full time as Kate, and I would value your thoughts on that.”
“That's a decision only you can make. You are well equipped to give it a try. You have one of the best package of appearance and presentation of any TV I have known. Your speech is convincingly feminine. Beyond that you have what I would call true feminine beauty, a kind, caring, nurturing empathy for others. I suspect you really need to explore life as Kate, and recommend that you do.”
“Thank you. I really value your opinion. And am flattered by what you have said.”
“Don't get too carried away. I think you need to explore. But you have spent over 50 years as a rather successful male. You have been successful as a husband, father and a businessman. Important parts of who you are, are tightly wound with that male identity. I have seen others get caught up in the fantasy and fun of escape into femininity, and make changes they later regretted. Don't let yourself get caught in the fantasy that changing into Kate's full time, will magically make your life better. You need to work on hanging onto the best of Kelvin and integrate it with the best of Kate regardless of how you choose to present yourself. Don't just exchange a male cage for a female cage.”
“That sounds good, but putting Chrissie back in the closet, doesn't look like practicing what you preach.”
“It's probably not. If I could comfortably be accepted as I choose to present myself. I would love to let Chrissie out of the closet. But society isn't ready to accept people, presenting as male sometimes and female other times depending on their mood. If I have to pick one, it is male. Some of our younger people are taking other courses, such as androgynous or genderqueer, that didn’t exist for us. But they all seem to lead to outcast status. Which is not what anyone wants.”
“I am curious, about how and why you are back in the closet. I have never seen anyone, who got over the self acceptance hurdle, as successfully as you, go back in the closet.”
“At first it was mostly depression, transforming to Chrissie took more energy than I had, after Grace and I separated. But it really came down to not having a place where it was comfortable to be Chrissie. When I was with Grace support group meetings had become very comfortable for Chrissie. But, when I went to the local support group, I got hit on. With Grace, the meetings had seemed like the most asexual group I could imagine. But, I found getting hit on very uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to be attractive and have the power to turn men on. And part of me was pretty homophobic. In any case, I found getting hit on by a man in a dress, who I did not find attractive, was very uncomfortable.”
“That surprises me. Having seen you out on Michigan avenue, in broad daylight, in a wrap skirt that flashed leg up to your waist, and 5 ½ inch heels, I would have thought you would be able to handle an unwanted advance.”
“That wasn't Chrissie. That was Chris in drag. I had that discussion, with Grace. She didn't like that outfit. It didn't fit the image she was trying to create of Chrissie. I explained that we were going to a drag club with a group at “Be all”. That Chrissie had little chance to pass in that group. And this was a rare chance for Chris to camp it up in drag. Grace reluctantly went along with that.”
“I wouldn't have thought of it like that.”
“Well, in part it was a slick argument to get Grace to let me out in that outfit. But in retrospect there was a lot of truth in that. It was Chris in drag, and that provided a lot of armor, that Chrissie didn't have.”
“You're still the same Chrissie, I knew. Sensitive and vulnerable, and afraid to let it show.”
“In Chrissie mode, I can let it show more. That may be one of the more liberating aspects to spending time as Chrissie.”
“There is something very appealing about your vulnerability, it makes me want to hug you and comfort you.”
“ That would be nice.” And with that we embraced each other in a warm mutual hug. It did feel good. And it was something I wouldn't (maybe couldn't) do in Chris mode.
After a period of silence, both enjoying the warmth and security of each other’s embrace. Kate said “I hope you will always feel safe to be yourself with me.”
“That's the nurturing and caring that make you the beautiful woman on the inside, matching the beautiful woman on the outside.”
“Do you really think of me as a woman?”
“I think of you as a very nice human being. We all have parts of us that are labeled as masculine and other parts that are labeled as feminine. You and I both have more and stronger feminine elements than most genetic males. When you present as Kate I think of you as a woman, but I also know Kevin is also you. You have to decide for yourself how to balance your different aspects.”
“How do you balance your competing aspects.”
“I try not to make it a competition. I try to build the strengths of both aspects and enjoy the advantages of both aspects. As you know that is not always easy or successful.”
“How does that fit with being back in the closet?”
“While there is still some erotic appeal to wearing woman's clothing, it is primarily a cue on how I want others to relate to me. When I dress, I want people to accept me as a woman. I have not had people, in my life recently, that I could trust to do that. That is why your invitation means more than I can really express. So, I don't dress much anymore but, I still recognize my strong feminine components and try to integrate them into my male life.”
“How?”
“I think I am a better listener, by using my feminine empathy and desire to understand others emotions and suppressing the male urge to dominate the conversation. I had a female bridge partner that told me, 'I have never been able to talk to a man like I can talk to you, and that includes three husbands'. I was more like a girlfriend.”
“That must have felt good.”
“It did. But I used the opportunity to reveal Chrissie. She just didn't get it, She could not understand why a man would want to wear female clothes. I tried to explain that it, was not just the clothes but an emotional release from the constraints of the male role. But it still didn't make sense to her.”
“Did it adversely affect your relationship?”
“No, it went on pretty much as it had before. But I had expected more curiosity and probing and mostly just got, let's just drop this subject vibes. When I introduced Jean, my long term, long distance girlfriend, to the subject of my cross dressing, she was full of curiosity and probing. She claimed she could tell when I was in Chrissie mode, and that I actually had changes in voice and complexion.”
“Sounds like you found yourself an “A” girlfriend.”
“Pretty much. Grace was encouraging. Jean was pragmatic. At first she embraced the novelty of the situation, but she came to the conclusion 'Chrissie isn't much fun, she is too passive and needy.' I recognized she was right, Chrissie was a repository for those parts of me that were suppressed by the male role, the neediness, passivity, vulnerability, but also nurturing, empathy, caring. I realized a need to integrate Chris and Chrissie, not just use Chrissie as an outlet.”
“How is that working for you?”
“Well, I hardly worry at all if anyone perceives me as feminine. And until you invited me I had little urge to present as Chrissie.”
“I've missed Chrissie, and I'm glad you are here.”
We engaged in another long, quiet hug. As women we could exchange this show of caring and support. As men it would have been embarrassing.
“I hadn't realized how much I missed having someone to be Chrissie with. But you have gotten me to do most of the talking. Now it's your turn. Come on girl spill about your plans to bring Kate into the real world.” I refilled our glasses and waited for her.
“It's not really much of a plan. But as I try to imagine a life without Barbara I keep seeing Kate not Kevin. Though Barbara was very good about accepting Kate, part of the deal was that Kate kept a low profile. Now I think, I would like to let Kate be more out and about and see how I like it.”
“Have you thought about things like job and your relationship with your kids?”
“Like you, I don't have to work anymore, and Bob, my boss, knows about Kate, and wants to use me as a consultant if I retire, even if it is as Kate. I've talked to both kids. Kim says 'Whatever makes you happy, dad.' Keith says, ' I'm not really comfortable with the idea, but it is your decision, and I will continue to love you regardless.”
“So, you would just retire and start a new life as Kate?”
“That's the general idea, I would sell this place, It was too big for Barbara and I, it's way too much for me alone. I could move to a smaller place as Kate.”
“ Just bang, one day Kevin, the next day Kate, and no looking back?”
“Well, Kate has spent years preparing for this. And she has started making excursions into the real world. And I don't intend to burn all Kevin's bridges.”
“ It seems like there are a lot more things you need to think through.”
“That's one reason for your presence here. And I really do value and appreciate
this time with you. You are the best person, I can think of, to talk these things over with.”
“Do you consider yourself transsexual?”
“Probably. I am approaching this as a real world test, and the final answer depends on the test results. Remember when we inadvertently let a couple TS's join the club.”
“Yes, Virginia just about blew a gasket when she found out.”
“What I remember, is your comment, that spending a little time with them, made it clear to you that you weren’t one of them.”
“Yes, those guys really hated their genitals, they regarded them as deformities, whereas I am pretty fondly attached to mine.”
I envied your clarity on that. While I didn't hate my genitals. The idea of giving them up to be fully accepted as female, didn't seem like an unacceptably high price.”
“That doesn't get you fully accepted as female. With some, nothing ever will.”
“Of course, you are right. But the point is I questioned and still do where I stand
on this matter.”
“Have you had professional counseling?”
“I am seeing someone, like you, she says I am the one who has to decide. She is encouraging me to explore and experiment, but right now the focus is on grief management. I realize there will always be a hole that only Barbara could fill. But I am starting to look forward to exploring where my life, without her, may go. Though there are days it is hard to get up, knowing she won't be there for me, planning for a life as Kate is starting to energize me.”
“I think your doing very well. When Mark was killed, I think I stayed depressed for three years. I think you need to explore the Kate situation, and I think you are approaching it sensibly. Let me know if there is any way I can help you.”
“Being available, for this kind of talk, is what I want most from you. But if you are still around this Saturday I could use an escort to a dinner dance.”
“I am really enjoying this conversation, and want to have more like it, with you. I don't have fixed plans. But the way this is going, I would enjoy staying around thru Saturday. But being about 2 hours out of the closet, I don't think I'm ready for that kind of outing.”
“Actually I was thinking of Chris as an escort.”
“Chris isn't much of a dancer.”
“ That doesn't matter. I'd like his company and he would add a measure of safety to Kate's outing.”
“ OK, my brother would be happy to escort you.”
We continued on well into the early morning, despite Kevin having to go to work the next day. The next three days were more of the same, with Kevin going off to work, and Chris sleeping in and then going shopping, mostly for Chrissie, but also for provisions (mostly wine) for the evenings. In the evenings Kate and Chrissie continued the hen party, getting caught up on each others last 30 years, and further cementing the friendship.
Saturday came. Chris took Kate out to brunch at a breakfast buffet. We then went for a walk in a nearby forest preserve. Even though we were both dressed in jeans and tennis shoes, she looked quite feminine, even with minimal makeup. We held hands, and strolled through the woods. Enjoying the quiet. I thought to myself that Kate would have relatively little trouble, emerging into the real world.
She broke the silence, “Are you worried about tonight?”
“Only about making a fool of myself on the dance floor. After this morning with you, I don't expect any problems over you.”
“ About half the people there know about Kevin and Kate and Barbara. Most are fine with it. But there are always a few jerks. I think being with you will help minimize problems. But be ready to keep your cool, despite a few snide comments. And don't get all macho and try to defend my honor. I don't want any fights breaking out.”
“Thanks for the warning. I'll try to keep things under control.”
We squeezed each other's hand, as a show of mutual support.
After a nice walk we returned to Kate's car (she was driving as it was more practical than the motorhome). After we were in the car, she surprised me by leaning over and giving me a peck on the cheek. I was further surprised, at how warm that made me feel.
A little at loss, on how to respond, I said “Thank you I really enjoyed being with you this morning.” And then returned the kiss.
We returned to Kate's to get ready for the dance.
I wore a white short sleeve polo shirt under a navy cardigan, with black Docker slacks, black socks, and black loafers.
When I saw Kate, I felt under dressed. She wore a burgundy print peasant style dress. The neckline was cut low enough to show an alluring cleavage. The hemline was asymmetrical, going from 12” below her knee on her right to 4” above the knee on the left. Her shoes were a brown 2 1/2” Cuban heel with an ankle strap. Her shapely legs were encased in smokey black nylons. Her auburn hair gleamed as it brushed her shoulders. It was held away from her face with silver combs. She wore heavier makeup than I was used to. She had gone for the smokey eye look with dramatic eye liner and charcoal eye shadow blending into a burgundy matching her dress. She had emphasized her brows with a pencil, making them look even more feminine than usual. Her lips were drawn fuller than normal in a deep plum. Her skin appeared flawless and natural. But I knew there was much artistry in the shadings and application. The overall effect was to make her eyes and lips pop, and her other features daintier and more feminine. She was very attractive, with a hint of exotic. She seemed very self assured and confident to me. I envied that.
She said “You look very handsome tonight.”
“Little does it matter, all eyes will be on you. You are very lovely, and very enticing tonight.”
“ I'm ready if you are.”
“I'm as ready as I'm going to get. So let’s go.”
She drove her car. I could get to like being chauffeured. It was only about 4 miles. The strip mall had a Little Caesar's Pizza, a dollar store, a Subway, a couple vacant stores, and the dance club, which I guessed had been a drug store, before the chains had moved to larger stand alone buildings with drive thrus. Even though we were still early, the parking for the dance club and one of the vacant stores were already full and the second vacant stores lot was filling. She parked, I quickly got out and hurried around the car, to open her door, and help her out. I shut her door, and she locked it with the button on her key fob, and put the keys in her purse. I took her hand and walked her to the club. When we got in the door, it seemed everyone knew Kate, everyone wanted to how Kate was doing, with the loss of Barbara, and who her new friend was. I was introduced as an old friend who had moved away and was visiting.
The club had hardwood flooring, which looked like it might have been salvaged from a bowling alley. The back right corner, had the men's and ladies rooms. The back wall had a row of love-seats. The couples that occupied them, had set up TV trays. The left wall had a mismatched collection of restaurant booths. The right side, had a flea market collection of tables for 2, 4 ,6 ,8, or 12 with chairs.
The right front was a kitchen area, which had some long folding tables outside it. Just outside the kitchen area were a motel ice machine and a pair of vending machines, one with water and juices and one with soft drinks.
When the hellos and introduction were over, Kate led us to a table for two. As we passed two young couples, one of the guys remarked “I see our tranny has a new boyfriend” loudly. I was immediately irate, but thinking of Kate's warning, I avoided eye contact, and followed her to the table. When we sat down, I noticed a big bouncer type Kate had introduced me to, was talking to the the couples that had made the comment.
“It looks like your friends have your back.”
"They don't want any trouble. I see the comment irritated you, but you handled yourself well.”
“I thought of your warning and decided they weren't worth the hassle.”
“Well, you handled yourself very well, and I’m proud of you. If you ask at the kitchen they will give you a couple of plastic wine glasses. And you can get a bucket of ice, the buckets are next to the ice machine.” I did as suggested. Kate produced a corkscrew from her purse, and we were soon sipping wine. Music was playing (mostly big band) but only one or two couples were dancing. A number of new arrivals came to check on Kate, and get introduced to me.
It wasn't long, before they started putting paper plates plastic knives, fork and spoons, napkins and finally food on the long tables. The DJ announced the food was ready and started people in line, starting with the large tables. Our turn came quickly. The main course was beef stroganoff over noodles, there was tossed salad with a choice of dressing, green beans, a dinner roll and a dixie cup of chocolate or vanilla pudding. The plates were heavy duty. All in all, I thought it was a very nice, low budget meal.
We enjoyed each other’s company. Although the morning walk had been mostly quiet, we had been talking for four days, and the conversation was still flowing easily.
When people finished eating they took their plates to a garbage bin outside the kitchen area. The long tables had been emptied and taken down.
The music had changed to rock. The dance floor began to fill with gyrating bodies.
We finished our meals and I dumped our plates. When I returned, Kate motioned toward the dance floor, and we joined the mass of gyrating bodies.
When a slow number came on, we assumed the classical dance position. Kate leaned into me, more than I expected. To my surprise, my body responded to the smell of her perfume, and the feel of her breasts pressing into me. I was embarrassed, as I knew she could feel that part of me poking her.
When the dance ended. We went back to our table. She took my hand in hers, and said “You shouldn't be embarrassed. I take it, as a very sincere compliment.”
As I struggled to find an answer, one of Kate's friends came and asked her for a dance and she accepted.
He was a much better dancer than me. And I found myself mesmerized at Kate's beauty and grace, on the dance floor.
Kate was very popular, dancing with a dozen different men, including myself. She spent most of the evening dancing. I spent about half my time watching, mostly her. And the rest dancing, mostly with Kate, but also with a few other women.
On one of her few breaks, she asked “How are you doing?”
“I'm enjoying myself, much more than I expected. I haven't ever been the escort of the most beautiful woman at a dance before. And I'm finding, I quite enjoy it.”
“You don't mind me dancing with all the other men?”
“I enjoy watching your beauty and grace, almost as much as feeling you, close to me.”
At this point, she was again swept away to dance.
Later in the evening, they had couples do exhibition dances, like dancing with the stars. To my surprise Kate and the gentleman who had first asked her to dance, did a Latin dance (I think it was a Tango). I was again amazed at her grace and beauty as he lead her through dips and spins. I thought, what a waste, hiding this beautiful woman for fifty years.
On the drive home Kate asked “How was the evening for you?”
"Very enjoyable. You amazed me with your beauty and grace. I was very proud to be your escort. I don't think I have ever enjoyed a dance more.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Would you like to come in for coffee, or an after dinner drink?”
“That would be nice. Coffee will do. I am not that much of a drinker, and the half bottle of wine is more than enough for me.”
We got home (am I already calling it home?) and I scurried around, to handle Kate's door and help her out of the car. Kate let us in, and offered me a choice of coffees for her single cup brewer. I chose a hazelnut flavored coffee. She delivered my coffee with a kiss on my cheek.
As she brewed her cup, “I was very happy with you tonight. I was proud to have you as my date”, she hesitated, then continued “I really did feel complimented when you got turned on. But it reminded me of all the girls, who used to do everything they could to turn their date on, and then when they succeeded, ignore it and act as if nothing had happened. I don't want to be like that. So if you would like, I would be happy to assist in re-leaving any tensions I may have brought on.” She brought her coffee to the table, sat next to me, and took a sip. She then took my hand, and laid our clasped hands in my lap. My body involuntarily responded again.
“You don't have to do that.”
“You don't want me to.” she pouted.
“I very much want you to. But you have already given me an evening beyond all expectations.”
“Then do you want a hand job, a blow job, or to just forget it.”
I was a little surprised at how strong and blunt she had come on. But it was making me very hard. I manage a meek “Blow job.”
“Good that was my preference too. Let’s move to the living room and get comfortable.” She took her coffee and purse and led me to the sofa. She set her coffee and purse on the coffee table. I put my coffee down, as she began loosening my belt. Soon my pants and shorts were around my ankles, and she was commanding me to sit. She removed my shoes, pants and shorts, and set them aside. She curled up on the carpet between my legs and removed her shoes, letting out a sigh of relief. She took my hard member in her right hand and slowly spread my pre-cum around the head with her left index finger. The feeling was exquisite, and I was harder than I could remember being, in a long time. Her warm breath sent shivers of anticipation through me. She removed her hands reaching for her purse. “It's not that I don't trust you, but I promised my therapist, safe sex only.” Rummaging through her purse, she pulled out a condom. She opened the package, and placed the condom on my little, but very hard, head. She expertly rolled it down my shaft. The feel of her hand sliding down my shaft, exciting me even more. This was shaping up to be the best blow job of my entire life, when I ruined it by starting to worry what she might want in reciprocation. Despite my mental distraction, my body responded as she began teasing my tip with her tongue. When she clamped her lips around my shaft, and began pumping with both her hand and her lips, it didn't take long for me to explode into the condom. She kept me in her mouth as I slowly deflated, teasing the very sensitive head with her tongue. Eventually she withdrew her head, carefully removed the condom and began cleaning me with tissue from her purse.
“Would you like something for you, in reciprocation?” I ventured.
“No, I think we both have plenty to think about, and it been a long day. Let’s both get some sleep. We can talk more, in the morning.”
I got dressed and parting with a kiss (on the lips, with a little bit of tongue). I returned to the motorhome.
It took a while, to get to sleep. It had been a long time, since I had been attracted to someone, as strongly, as I had been to Kate that day. I had spent the whole day with her and had enjoyed it all. It was only when the thought of returning the pleasure she was giving me, that thoughts of Kevin intruded. Was I being homophobic? Would this be a problem, if our relationship grew, as I was beginning to hope it might? She had certainly convinced me, that there was a female soul inside that body. She had really taken charge of the situation, and I had found myself really enjoying that. How would this affect the friendship with Chrissie, which I also valued greatly? With all these questions bounce around my head, sleep did not come easily. But, eventually exhaustion ruled.
I was awaken by my phone. “Did you sleep well, lover?”
“As you said, there was a lot to think about, and it took quite a while to get to sleep.”
“Same for me. Are you ready for some breakfast?”
“You just woke me up. But I can be ready in 15 minutes.”
“Good. I'll be ready and waiting for you.”
As I opened the door, the aroma of fresh coffee greeted me. Followed shortly by a hug and a kiss, which I enthusiastically returned.
“You will make someone a great wife someday.”
“Is that an offer?”
“You definitely have my interest.”
A little jolt passed through my body as she took my hand, saying “Sit down.”
My place was set with a fresh cup of hot coffee, a glass of orange juice, and a plate ready for pancakes from the platter on the table, and crispy bacon from a plate. I sipped the coffee, letting out a contented sigh, and began loading my plate. I opted for the sugar free maple, from the collection of syrups.
“Well, did you reach any conclusions, thinking about last night?” queried Kate.
“Only that you shouldn't have much trouble, transitioning to Kate.”
“I am afraid there will be more and worse, of the unpleasant little incident, in the real world.”
“You transition better than anyone I have ever known. And while there are sure to be incidents I have great confidence, that you will handle them well.”
“You seemed to really enjoy yourself last night.”
I wondered if she was referring to the dance or the after activity. I chose the safe route “At first the club seemed a little seedy, but the food was good, and the people friendly, and I really enjoyed myself, after I got into the swing of things.”
“Yeah, it is a little low budget, but we try to keep costs down, so everyone can afford it. It's really come a long way in the 3 years it’s existed. Barbara and I were founding members.”
“I was surprised so many knew and accepted Kate.”
“Well there was an incident, a year and a half ago, at Halloween. Kate was taking the opportunity to make an appearance, and Barbara went in male drag. A couple of young males, were verbally harassing Kate similar to last night. Barbara exploded at them. She told them that I was a better man than they would ever be. And that she loved me whether I was in a business suit or a dress.” It was very uncharacteristic of her, but it made me love her even more.”
I saw tears forming in her eyes, and slid over to her. To hold her hand and give her a shoulder to cry on. She rested her head on me, but continued “The managing board, met with us, and we told them that I was transgendered. Barbara apologized for her outburst, but explained that she was frustrated that others couldn't see how wonderful I was, and that she was overly emotional, due to just being diagnosed with breast cancer. I expected them to bar Kate, or even Kevin and Barbara from the club. But they surprised me by me by stating that I was welcome as either Kevin or Kate. Kate has returned, about a half dozen times since then.” She broke into a full cry. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
She settled down. As we were cleaning the dishes, she hit me with the biggest surprise of all. “How would Chrissie feel about a date with Kevin?”
Where did that come from? I had told her Chrissie had no interest in men. She wanted to be Kate full time. It just didn't fit. “Chrissie is just out of the closet. She is certainly not ready to be out and about in public.”
“We don't have to go anywhere, we could just have a quiet evening together, like Chrissie and Kate have been doing.”
I didn't understand, what was going on here, but I desperately wanted to please her. “How about Chrissie cooking dinner for Kevin in the motorhome, and a Netflix movie afterward.”
“That would be great.”
We set it up for Tuesday. I was confused, over what I was getting myself into, but was determined to carry on, and see where it led.
We spent the rest of the day together, chatting amicably, but at least to me, it seemed different. I was anxious about how the Kevin-Chrissie date would go, and what effect it might have on our relationship. I somehow couldn’t bring myself to ask why she wanted that date. But that question was always burning at the front of my mind. Kate also seemed distracted. So after a dinner of take out Italian beef sandwiches and onion rings we parted for the evening.
Again, sleep did not come easy. What was Kate trying to accomplish with this date? How would I handle the date? Chrissie had never really been alone with a man. How would she handle it? How would she react. I decided that Chrissie would do her best to reciprocate to Kevin, what Kate had done for Chris. I hoped this would settle the homophobic question bouncing in my head. It also seemed like the best opportunity I would get, to explore forbidden fantasies. Such thoughts kept me awake well into the morning.
When I finally awoke from my fitful sleep it was 11 AM. I showered shaved and dressed. I had a fast food lunch, and started shopping for Chrissies date. Somehow I was less self conscious, about getting makeup, perfume and even special lingerie for the evening, than I usually was shopping for Chrissie. I even bought special shoes, 4-½” stiletto heel red sandals. I doubted, I would be able to move very gracefully in them, but I knew they would make me feel sexy for Kevin, which was their true purpose. I considered trying them on in the store, but chickened out. Just buying them as Chris was unusually bold for me.
The one item, I found myself self conscious about buying, was the flavored condoms. I was still unsure about my reactions to becoming a cocksucker, and felt these, might make it easier, and make an adverse reaction less likely.
After that, the grocery shopping was relatively easy. The bacon wrapped fillets seemed a safe choice. The cooked and peeled shrimp would be a nice appetizer. Add a couple medium sized Idaho potatoes, and a bunch of fresh broccoli. And dinner was taken care of. I added some prepackaged chocolate mousse for dessert, and microwave popcorn for the movie, a nice merlot, and a six pack of amber ale, and another of Corona, completed the grocery shopping.
It was after 4, not enough time to beat Kevin home and change into Chrissie.
I called Kevin, he answered on the third ring, “Hello.”
“Hello Kevin, it’s Chris. I was wondering what the plans for tonight are.”
“There aren’t any real plans. I would assume Chrissie and Kate would spend the evening chatting.”
“I was wondering how you would feel, about Chris taking you out to dinner and a few beers, and letting the girls fend for themselves.”
“That’s fine with me, as long as you don’t spend the whole night, giving me the second degree over the date with your sister.”
“Mostly I want to get to know you better. There may be a little protectiveness, but that could go both ways.”
“OK then, let’s have dinner together. Any suggestions where?”
“You know the area better than me, but I think I’m in a mood for casual Mexican, with a good beer menu.”
“I know a good place that fits that description. We can meet at the house at 6:00.”
“Great. I’ll see you at the house at 6:00.”
We met at 6:00, and he took us to a place called “Casa Susanna”.
He ordered a Corona, and I ordered a Negro Modella, to go with the tortilla chips and salsa, the waiter had brought. I started “We really haven’t gotten to know each other very well, for our sisters being such good friends.”
“No, but I understand you are getting to know my sister better.”
“I’ve always found her attractive, she asked for me to escort her to a dance. I thought I was getting too old for romance, but I found her so attractive, I’m reconsidering.”
“I too, have pretty much given up on romance. Some of the drugs I’m on, reduce libido. But I have always found your sister attractive, and I am looking forward to our date.”
The waiter came with our beers, and we both ordered combination plates.
I continued “It sounds like this date is more Kate’s doing than yours.”
“That may be, but I am hoping the date goes well.”
“What would you consider ‘going well’”.
“For starters chemistry similar to what you appear to have going with my sister.”
“I think my sister has similar hopes. I haven’t seen her so worked up, over a date in forever.” Thinking to myself, that she’s never had a date with a man.
“So how are you finding retirement, and living and traveling in a motorhome?”
Actually I was glad that Kevin was changing the subject. “I am finding the motorhome quite comfortable. And I am really enjoying the flexibility, to do things, like accept your sisters offer to visit on short notice. I miss the job, much less than I thought I might.”
Our dinners came. The platter looked huge, and I realized I had been eating much more daintily, spending evenings as Chrissie. The waiter asked if we wanted another beer. Though we were both about half way through our first, I answered “Yes, no hurry, but you can bring another round when it’s convenient.”
Kevin resumed, “I don’t think I’ve known anyone who has lived full time in a motorhome.”
“I’ve met quite a few in the short time I’ve been doing it. A lot of retired couples and singles, as you might expect. But maybe 20% are younger.”
“How do the younger ones finance their lifestyle?”
“Some work over the internet, some find local jobs, staying in one place until they save enough to travel more.”
“What are your plans?”
“Financially, I hope I can live comfortably on my 401K. Travel wise, I’m still discovering what I like. I am very much enjoying this visit with you sister, even though it is not something I planned or even foresaw.”
Our dinners came. We continued chatting amicably
When we finished, he drove us back to Kate’s house (at least that’s how I thought of it).
When we parted, we shook hands and I wished him well on the date with my “sister”.
In bed I reflected on the day:
Why had I been much less self conscious than usual buying things for Chrissie as Chris than usual? Perhaps, this was because I was doing this fo someone else not just Chrissie. I realised, I was feeling someone wanted me as Chrissie, and I was really enjoying feeling wanted. I knew Kate enjoyed and wanted me as a friend, but this was different. While I knew Kevin and Kate were one and the same, Kevin lacked the warmth, the enthusiasm, the personality that Kate radiated. While I considered both Chrissie/Kate and Chris/Kate as close friendships, I had trouble seeing Chris/Kevin developing beyond friendly acquaintance. I wondered how Chrissie/Kevin would go. It seemed knowing Kevin had hopes for the date reduced Chrissie’s anxiety, but increased her anticipation.
I slept surprisingly well, not waking till 9 AM. I put on some sweats and fixed myself bacon and eggs, thinking I would probably skip lunch. I had only agreed to the Chrissie/Kevin date because Kate had asked, and I didn’t know how to gracefully say no. But as it approached I found myself in almost eager anticipation. Even though I knew Kate was behind the Kevin facade, I planned on using this as an opportunity to explore Chrissie one on one with a man (an area I had never felt comfortable or confident enough to even consider). I planned on trying to return Kate’s kind concern for my feelings, and in the process prove to myself I wasn’t homophobic. I felt like a teen preparing for a first date, and indeed, it was Chrissie’s first date with a man.
I collected some toiletries and went over to Kate’s with the key she had left me. The motorhome had a nice shower, but I felt this occasion called for a nice bubble bath. I relaxed in the hot bath, letting my mind wander. It drifted to how I wanted to be sexy and turn Kevin on, to facilitate reciprocation. I wasn’t sure how much Kate’s hormones impacted this, so I decided to not take it as a personal failure if things didn’t go as planned.
After about 30 min. I added some hot water and began shaving my whole body. I had been shaving my legs, underarms,and chest for Chrissies visits. I redid these, but I added ams and a best attempt at back. I even trimmed the genital area a little. I got out and dried off, feeling a little extra naked. I spent about 40 min. Cleaning Kate’s tub, surprised at the amount of hair I left behind. I then returned to the motorhome to continue my preparation.
I started with a quick shower to wash my hair. Yes I had just taken a bath, and I would be wearing a wig, but I wanted to be clean. Then I gave myself a manicure and pedicure. I didn’t remember the difficulty folding my body to do the pedicure. But the last pedicure, I was much younger, and had a supportive wife, who enjoyed exchanging pedicures.
Next I put on my new beige thong gaff. This might take more getting used to, than I expected, but it did a good job of hiding what it was supposed to hide. Unfortunately, it didn’t hide the developing beer belly. I considered using a corset or waist cincher, but decided to opt for comfort and mobility. Next came my 36C beige, front hook, underwire bra. While it was tight, this helped create the desired effect. Pushing my manboobs up and in, and inserting my trusty old silicone enhances, gave me a pretty convincing profile and cleavage.
Then came a close shave of face and neck. I had been doing this for visits with Kate, but for some reason it seemed more difficult to achieve the closeness I desired. I finally gave up, hoping the makeup would cover what remained.
The motorhome came with a vanity in the bedroom. I hadn’t thought I would use it, as such, but it was proving very useful. I started with some white, under my eyes to give a more open appearance, and on the sides of my nose to make it look smaller. Next came, foundation over my full face and neck and exposed parts of my chest. A little rose rouge on my cheeks, then powder, to set it all. I outline my cleavage with a darker shade of powder to create an illusion of more depth. I applied a purple eye shadow, then a lavender, then a white. I was not very confident in this selection, but after blending I decided it looked ok. Then a black liquid eyeliner at the base of upper and lower lashes. I thought, I had done a nice job with the liner, even the finicky extensions outside the eyes. Adding waterproof mascara finished the eyes. I admired my work, thinking they certainly looked feminine, and at least to my Chis part alluring. I outlined my lips in a deep red and and filled them in a brighter red. I looked and thought I had done a good job, but went back and tweezed my brows and used a dark pencil to give a more feminine shape.
It was only 1:00. I was nearly ready. Yet had over 5 hours till I expected Kevin. I got on the web and did some reading.
A little before 5:00, I went to the kitchen, turned the oven on. I then washed the Idaho potatoes, I had chosen yesterday, salted them and wrapped them in aluminum foil. Then put them into the oven.
Next it was time put on the wig. I brushed it out. put it on, secured it with a few bobby pins, and brushed it some more. A little primping, and I felt. It was ready.
Now it was time to get dressed. First was a new pair of shear to the waist panty hose. Though to a large extent, crossdressing had lost a lot of it’s erotic effect on me, the nylon on my freshly shaved legs still had an effect. For a while the thong became even more uncomfortable. The dress was a red mini that appeared to be covered in little squares of reflective red tinsel. It reminded me of what the eye candy on the Letterman show often wore. It had about 1-½ inch shoulder straps with a square cut bodice, low enough to show a little cleavage. It was gathered below the bust, for about 4 inches. From there the skirt flared out gently. It had been “one size fits most”, and was intended as a mini. On my 5’ 10” male frame it was really too short, if I bent over I would be flashing ass cleavage. But it fit tonight’s objective. I put it on and adjusted my bra straps. I didn’t have a full length mirror, but I felt like a “hot babe”.
I added a little jewelry, a ladies watch with barely readable face, a couple unobtrusive rings, a pair of dangly clip on earrings, and a sapphire pendant necklace. As I was perfuming myself, I heard a car in the driveway.
I called Kevin.
“Hello, Chrissie. I’m looking forward to tonight.”
“So am I. I just called to check when you are coming.”
“I will you be ready in about 20 minutes?”
“Yes, that will be great, see you then.”
I ran around, checking the food for our meal, the contents of my purse, and my makeup. As I was strapping on the red sandals with 4 1/2” stiletto heels, I heard footsteps, then Kevin’s voice “Chrissie, are your ready?”
“Just a second.” I finished putting on the shoes. Turned on the stereo, with some low volume orchestral, mood music. And opened the door.
“Wow.”
“Wow what?”
“You look great.”
“What were you expecting?” I hadn’t thought about the view he was getting from the ground up the steps of the RV. So I thought I would, take the offensive and have some fun teasing him a little.
“ You look a lot better, than I remember.”
“ Anything wrong with a girl trying to look good for her boyfriend?”
“It’s right, very right.”
“Come on in.”
“Thank you.”
As he came in, I gave him a little peck on the cheek.
“Thank you again. I bought these for you.” a bouquet of carnations in his outstretched hand.
I took them and said “Have a seat” pointing to the loveseat.
“I also brought this.” holding out a wine bottle.
“You can put that on the table, in front of the loveseat.” as I tuned to the kitchen counter and took out a 32 oz. plastic tumbler, for the carnations. I put it on a far corner of the counter as i feared it wouldn’t be very stable. I thought he seems even more nervous than I felt. That may be good.
I retuned with a half full ice bucket and a corkscrew, “Here you can open the wine and put it in the bucket.” I returned to the kitchen area, with maybe a little extra rear end movement. Quickly returning with two wine glasses, I noticed a little tenting in his trousers. This might not be as hard as I thought. “Pour us some wine, while I get the appetiser.”
“Yes ma'am.”
I wanted to reply to this, but decided to let it go, as I couldn’t decide what tact to take. I just gave him a little more wiggle.
I retuned with a bowl of cooked and peeled shrimp, a small dish of cocktail sauce, and a few napkins. I put these on the table. I noted the tenting had grown. I sat next to Kevin. He picked up his wine. I followed suit. And he toasted “To a better friendship.” After a few sips we started on the shrimp. My hand strayed towards his crotch.
“Aren’t you being a little forward?”
“I don’t think so after last weekend.”
“That was Chris and Kate, not Chrissie and Kevin.”
“It’s just different aspects of the same two people.”
“ But, this feels different.”
“It is different. But we are not strangers. We have shared intimate secrets over years, and physical intimacy earlier this week.”
“Ok, but I wasn’t expecting this.”
“I wasn’t expecting what Kate did Saturday. And I reacted about like you are now, But on reflection, I am seeing it as an act of love, and entirely appropriate.”
“Really? I was afraid Kate came on too strong.”
“ That was my initial reaction, But the more I thought about it, the more appropriate it seemed. We had shared intimate secrets over years, Kate and Chrissie had renewed the intimate friendship with their hen sessions. Saturday Chris was developing romantic feelings toward Kate. And it appears Kate was doing the same.”
“Yes, that’s a very good summary. But it’s confusing.”
“For me too. But I see you as the only man, that I have the trust and comfort level, to explore that confusion with.” He leans in and gives Chrissie her first romantic kiss with a man. The thong gets uncomfortable again. And more tenting appears.
I get a naughty idea, and decide to go for it. I hop onto his lap, and start feeding him shrimp. His hardness against my ass is making the thong uncomfortable again. I lean in and try to get a taste of cocktail sauce, from inside his mouth. I feel increased hardness and throbbing at my ass crack.
“I’m feeling, it might be time for some reciprocation from Saturday.”
“If that’s what you want. I’m up for it.”
“I can tell.” As I slide down to the floor. I release his belt and trousers, and pull them with his undershorts to the floor. I am greeted by a nice hard cock glistening precum. It’s on the small side (says she who has no experience with hard cocks, other than her own) maybe 6-½” long and 1-½” diameter. That’s fine by me. I feel a little pride in how easily I got it excited and primed. I spread the precum around the head, remembering how good it felt when Kate did it to me. This was rewarded with a little more growth and hardness, and a strong pulse as I wrap my fingers around the shaft.
“Excuse me. I need my purse.” I had strategically placed it near the dinner table, not expecting things to go so fast.
Returning with it. I had already found the strawberry flavored condom.” Don’t want to upset Kate’s therapist.” I returned to massaging around the head, to regain a little lost ground from my purse trip. Shortly, it was ready and I rolled the condom on. I feared I might have trouble sucking the cock (thought the flavored condoms might help), but I found myself really wanting to return the pleasure I had been given. I was gratified, when it stiffened and jumped when I touched the head with my tongue. The response was similar when I wet my lips and clamped them over the head. As I pumped the base of the shaft with my hand, I slid my clamped lips over the end on the shaft, and caressed the head with my tongue. My mind thought of pleasuring Kate, even thinking what a nice hard clit. Rather than being repulsed, I was enjoying this. It didn’t take Kevin long to spasm and ejackulate. His glazed euphoric look, further rewarded my efforts. As he deflated, I removed the condom. and cleaned him with a tissue, as Kate had done for Chris.
I returned to the seat next to him, as he refastened his trousers and belt. He then gave me another soft romantic kiss. Reminding me how uncomfortable thongs can be. We returned to eating, feeding each other the shrimp. Both with a glow, but not knowing what to say. When I finished my glass, he asked “ Ready for a refill?”
“Yes, but you can bring the wine and glasses over to the table, while I get dinner going.” As I walked to the kitchen, I noticed he was still enjoying the rear view. I took the broccoli from the refrigerator, half filled a pan with water, salted the water, turned a burner on and put the pan on the burner, and added the broccoli.
“How do you like your steak?”
“Medium rare. Pink nor red.”
I took the bacon wrapped fillets from the refrigerator, added a little salt and pepper, and put one on my Foreman grill, plugging it in. I took my butter dish and small dishes of sour cream and grated cheddar cheese, and a shaker of bacon bits to the table. He had also brought the remaining shrimp and cocktail sauce. After taking another shrimp, I gave him a kiss on the forehead.
“What was that for?”
“For being more thoughtful than the average man. And why does it have to be for anything?"
“It doesn’t. And it was very nice. Thank you.”
I took our dinner plates back to the kitchen. I turned off the oven, and put the potatoes on the plates, I took a knife and fork and cut into the steak. It was mostly pink. I moved it onto a plate and put the other steak on the grill. The broccoli was beginning to boil. I turned off the burner and put a serving of broccoli on Kevin’s plate, and brought it out to Kevin. “I’ll be right with you. My steak is still cooking. Check your steak, I can put it back on if it’s not done enough.”
“Looks perfect. Just like you.”
I blushed a little. And gave him a little extra wiggle on the way back to the kitchen. I tested the steak. There was a little red, but I’d rather err on that side, especially with such a good cut of meat. So I unplugged the grill, and put my broccoli and then the steak on the plate. Then returned to the table with my food.
“Beautiful and a great cook too!”
“The beauty took most of the day, and I carefully selected a meal that took very little culinary skill.”
“And modest too.”
Being at a loss for words. I took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. The evening was going well. We both seemed to enjoy the meal and the company. For dessert I brought out two cups of prepackaged chocolate mousse and presented it “in memory of our first date.” That brought a smile.
“A true romantic.”
I said we could leave the dishes, but he insisted on helping. I let him wash, as I knew where to put things as I dried.
As I brought up netflix to select a movie for us. He said, “You know my attention will be on you not on any movie. If you are interested, I would very much like to make you a well fucked woman, tonight.”
I wasn’t ready for this. I had no intention of going any farther, than we had already gone. Yet, the proposal had an unexpected allure. I was wanting to go further, but not that far.
“I’m not ready to do that. Despite the way I came on, like a nympho in heat, yours is the first cock I have ever sucked. And I am a virgin as to having a real live cock inside me the way you propose. I may choose to give you my virginity at some future time, but I want to treat it as a special gift to you. If we did it tonight, it would feel like treating it as a stigma, to be gotten rid of at the first opportunity.” He was nodding tacit agreement. So I continued “But, I would love to sleep with you, and cuddle and pleasure each other, and pillow talk about our confusion, and our relationship.”
“Wow, you continue to surprise me in great ways. Actually your proposal seems very much better, to me, than mine. I have one condition.”
“What?”
“That we do it in my bed. I don’t want to explain a rocking RV, to the neighbors.”
“ That’s fine. I have a negotiable request.”
“Yes?”
“Can we both wear feminine sleepwear?”
“I like that. Let’s go.”
So much for a movie.
Previously
As I brought up netflix to select a movie for us. He said, “You know my attention will be on you not on any movie. If you are interested, I would very much like to make you a well fucked woman, tonight.”
I wasn’t ready for this. I had no intention of going any farther, than we had already gone. Yet, the proposal had an unexpected allure. I was wanting to go further, but not that far.
“I’m not ready to do that. Despite the way I came on, like a nympho in heat, yours is the first cock I have ever sucked. And I am a virgin as to having a real live cock inside me the way you propose. I may choose to give you my virginity at some future time, but I want to treat it as a special gift to you. If we did it tonight, it would feel like treating it as a stigma, to be gotten rid of at the first opportunity.” He was nodding tacit agreement. So I continued “But, I would love to sleep with you, and cuddle and pleasure each other, and pillow talk about our confusion, and our relationship.”
“Wow, you continue to surprise me in great ways. Actually your proposal seems very much better, to me, than mine. I have one condition.”
“What?”
“That we do it in my bed. I don’t want to explain a rocking RV, to the neighbors.”
“ That’s fine. I have a negotiable request.”
“Yes?”
“Can we both wear feminine sleepwear?”
“I like that. Let’s go.”
So much for a movie.
And now
“I’ll change to something more comfortable, and be over in a few minutes.”
“That will be fine.” as he embraced me, and gave me a kiss that sent electricity through my whole body.
“Would you mind if I left the wig?”
“All I want is you. You don’t have to bring anything else.” was delivered with another, slightly less earth shattering kiss.
Finally we parted. Kevin going to the house.
I was left with my thoughts. Was I making a mistake? Would things get awkward again, when it wasn’t clear who was taking what role? All I knew, was that I desperately wanted to be held by and to hold this person. I was deeper in passionate need, than I ever expected to ever be again, in my life. I really had little choice, but to rush over and find out if things would continue to proceed as well, as they were going.
I quickly undressed, and removed wig and jewelry. Then washed to remove makeup. I put on the red waltz length, silk chemise, I had bought the day before (more for self relief after the date, than having foreseen actual developments), I slipped into my fuzzy pick scuffs, threw on a robe and rushed over to the house, despite the protrusion, that had arisen upon removal of the thong.
At the door, I was greeted by Kate. I say Kate because she was in a pale yellow baby doll nightie (sans bottoms as she was also protruding). e embraced for yet another earth shattering kiss. I was tempted to carry her off to her bed, but it was quicker and safer, scurrying there together. An hour of gentle love making. embraces and kisses, suckling each other (high and low), multiple orgasms for both of us followed. In the passion, a wonderful thing happened. They found themselves thinking only of pleasing their lover, not playing some predescribed role. Worrying about who was what, or what they were supposed to do was lost, to their complete devotion to trying to pleasure each other.
Finally when we had exhausted each other and lay contented wrapped together. I ventured “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you ask for the date between Kevin and Chrissie?”
“When I asked you to the dance, it really was for safety and convenience. But as we spent more time together, I began to feel a romantic attraction. Over the years, I had seen lots of women, who were fine with crossdressing, until it was their significant other. Then it suddenly became relationship threatening, it became an emotional issue about their self identity. I didn’t think I would have a problem, but I thought putting Kevin and Chrissie together, might uncover latent emotional issues for either of us.”
“Did you find any?”
“Yes, and it turned out to be a huge plus. Kevin always felt unworthy of Barbara, and I was always afraid I was depriving her of the more manly, virile lover she deserved. But with you, I knew you were attracted to Kate, more than Kevin. And somehow that removed some pressure to be aggressive and made me more comfortable in the male role. I found myself really wanting your virginity, rather than worrying about underperforming. What about you? Did you learn anything?”
“Alot. I almost ruined, the best blowjob of my life, worrying what you might want in return. When you asked for the date, I was confused as to why, but I wanted to please you, and I didn’t know how to say no. It kept me awake, thinking about it, but I finally decided that this was Chrissie’s chance to explore interacting with a man. I trusted you and felt safe with you. I can’t think of another man I can say that about. I decided to do all I could, to reciprocate, what I had come to view as Kate’s act of love. I was afraid you wouldn’t find me attractive, and that the hormones would make it difficult to turn you on, thus the aggressive, OTT Chrissie you saw.”
“I found you very attractive, and your look alone, turned me on almost immediately. It surprised me, but I enjoyed the OTT behavior also.”
“I noticed, men are much easier to read than women. I was surprised, a version of me, that I didn't even know existed, emerged. I was suddenly having fun, playing with you, and teasing you. Romance had always been this confusing high stakes game, but from the other side, with the power of yes or no, it was suddenly fun. I was afraid that I might never be able to love, someone with a penis. But that didn’t turn out to be much of a problem. Though I will admit to thinking of pleasing Kate and her nice big clit.”
“Would you love me more, if I had a vagina?”
“I can’t imagine loving anyone, more than the wonderful human being, that I have in my arms right now. I love you, just the way you are.”
“And I love you, just the way you are!”
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Thus, Chrissie/Chris and Kate/Kevin gave each other the ultimate gift, loving each other, just the way they were. This couldn’t be called selfless, because both felt they were receiving much more than they were giving.