Chapter one:
"So this is what dying is like, huh?" I though to myself as I lay against the bathroom wall. Ceramic tiles glinted in the cool moonlight, providing the only illumination to a room otherwise submerged in darkness. "Hope it's as much fun as it looks."
Shards of glass were spread across the floor, bearing testament to a shattered vanity above the sink. Blood that seeped from my wrists was a black ichor, barely resembling anything crimson in the pale moonlight. It flowed languidly between the jagged glass shards like a river racing toward the ocean, only to be swallowed whole by the steel drain in the centre of the floor.
I had only a few minutes left before I closed my eyes forever, but I didn't waste time thinking about a future without me in it. It's a common misconception that people who are suicidal write notes asking people to look after their cat or make sure plants get watered, but in truth, that rarely ever happens. Depression shrinks your worldview until it barely extends beyond the next five minutes. People don't matter. Your stuff doesn't matter. And you definitely don't matter. Suicide is almost always an act of impulse.
Who's going to lament my disappearance from the world anyway? I could picture a tombstone in some forgotten cemetery, reading "Here lies Nicholas Leto. He was a bad person, we're glad he's dead."
Heh, I can still crack a smile. That's encouraging, if a day late and a buck short.
I didn't perform any rituals when I decided to end my life. I didn't dress up nicely, clean the house or order a dozen McRibs. It was a spur of the moment decision, years of hatred and self-loathing burying me beneath an avalanche of frozen despair. I just couldn't take it any more: Staring into the mirror, my reflection a monument to my failures as a human being. Never fading, challenging me endlessly, reminding me of what I lacked. Of how I was deficient. Defective. Malformed and twisted. A broken human being, who should have never been released to the public.
I've always thought that being transgendered is proof positive that god is a prankster. Why? Because even the most loathsome, sexual deviants in the world are more than capable of fulfilling their twisted desires. Bestiality is just a quick trip to the petting zoo. Necrophiliacs only need a shovel and a jar of lube.
All I ever wanted was to be female. Not because I wanted to wear pretty dresses or makeup, play with dolls or style my hair. I didn't want to be subservient. I wouldn't play loving housewife, the doting mother or sexy secretary. Not to dress up, get naked or get fucked so much I'd get passed around like a cheap whore. Those are just clichés, they're nothing to do with me.
I want to be female because that's who I am.
I never accepted any compromise. I wouldn't crossdress, take hormones or contemplate surgery. What I want can't be satisfied by any of those. I demand perfection, even if it's unattainable. I want the real experience of being a woman at the genetic level, otherwise I'd rather have nothing at all. I'd take oblivion before I abandoned my dream. After all, it's who I am.
And that's why I say god is a prankster: I see beautiful women every day of my life. I can't turn on the television, walk outside or switch on a computer without being confronted by the one thing I can never have. Do you understand? Right there in front of me, day in, day out, the media vomits an endless stream of untainted feminine perfection into my living room.
I can worship it.
I can bask in it.
I can drink it in until I've lost all taste for it.
But it's just a fantasy. Dangling just outside of reach, never something I could partake of.
I've carried this secret around inside of me since I was thirteen years old. But I can't tell anyone about it, can I? Being transgendered has this wonderful social stigma attached to it. It's a stigma that says you don't really want to be a different gender. You're just confused. Twisted. Sick. A pervert. A joke. Deviant. Filth monger. Scum.
Nobody takes you seriously. They think you get a kick out of wearing lipstick and pantyhose. You're a clown in high heels.
So ever since I discovered that about myself, I did my best to hide it from the world. I wore a mask that showed everyone what they wanted to see: Nick, the nice guy. The friendly geek. The buddy you could call on when you were in a jam. He's a little weird, quiet and keeps to himself, but he's still a good person.
And you know what? That mask is all I ever see anymore. It hasn't just protected me from the world, it's cut me off completely. I don't feel like I'm even a part of the human race anymore. Every day I feel less like I'm a participant in the show, and more like I'm just watching it happen from behind a window. That's no way for anyone to live.
People will probably chastise me for saying that, telling me I've bought this on myself. After all, I wanted perfection, right? By it's very nature, perfection is unattainable, even when it's right in front of you. And those people would be dead wrong. I've seen perfection happen, witnessed it with my own eyes. But fate is not without a sense of irony, which leads me to the cruellest twist of all: It happened to someone who never wanted it in the first place.
Faye Valentine, most people know her as a character from that old anime "Cowboy Bebop" but that'd be wrong too. A few would know her as my housemate; an attractive, teenage girl who's half Japanese and works part time as a model. The sassy neo-punk goddess who just showed up in Delacroix one day and decided to make a name for herself, right? Yeah, well I know another side to her, a dirty little secret that nobody would believe even if you told them.
Faye used to be a twenty-three year old man.
How it happened is irrelevant, and judging by the sheer amount of blood coating the floor, I wouldn't have time to tell the whole story anyway. Suffice to say that for one reason or another, the fates conspired to do the impossible. They took a healthy young man and turned him into a teenage girl over a matter of weeks. It was gradual, and he fought it kicking and screaming the whole way. In the end, the one gift I wanted anymore than anything in the world was thrust into the arms of an ungrateful, ignorant jackass. And I had to watch it all unfold.
Y'know, I'd never really thought about it...but I've always hated her for that. Before she even knew what a wonderful gift she had been given, a gift that should have been mine, she denied it with every fibre of her being.
That was over a year ago, and since then she's given up on ever finding a way back to her original gender, even embracing what she is now. However, the fact that she never appreciated it to begin with is enough to make me loathe her. She'd have figured that out by now if I hadn't grown so used to hiding it behind a mask.
I'd searched the house day and night, trying to find the catalyst. I even kept the bunt belongings of the old occupants, hoping they were somehow a link to what had happened to her. But it was no use. Every attempt I made to reproduce what happened to her ended in failure. I should have expected it of course...life isn't a fairytale. there are no second chances.
I realised that tonight as I stood in front of the bathroom vanity, staring at my disfigured doppelganger. It's the reason I smashed the mirror, grabbed the first jagged shard I could find and raked it across my wrists without a single thought of the consequence. This was the only logical conclusion: When something is defective, you get rid of it.
The wet shard slipped from my grasp, shattering on the floor as I stumbled back against the wall. When you slash your wrists, you cut the tendons as well. Fine motor control goes out the window after that, not that I'd be needing it now.
There are no notes I've left behind, no clue as to why I did this. When Faye returns home, she'll have to deal with the sight of my lifeless corpse slumped over the bathroom floor. She'll probably be confused, maybe even upset over what I've done. It could take a while for her to get over the memory of what she sees tonight.
God, I hope so. It's the least she deserves after what she's put me through.
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The world fades, flickers in and out of existence, with nothing to discern my consciousness from oblivion: Everything that I was, everything that I will ever be was being eroded by invisible forces, wiping me from existence. From history. From the heart of my friends. Somehow, a part of me always knew that my life wouldn't amount to anything. Even Ozymandias couldn't leave his mark forever. Time marches on, the world keeps spinning.
Except I wasn't really dead, was I? Something fell with a wet 'plap', striking the bare skin of my arm. I was laying face down, vision not consumed by darkness, but buried in a soft fabric. Was I in heaven or hell? The former seemed a little cliché, the latter too well furnished.
I sat up, my eyes taking a moment to adjust to the low light. I was laying on a gurney, the kind you'd find in a hospital where they wheeled patients in and out of the E.R. The sheets were white, almost pristine if not for the blood that had seeped in. It was all pretty normal, by all accounts.
But that was the only thing "normal" about this. Everything beyond the stretcher where I lay was decrepit beyond measure, ripe and swollen with decay. It was a hospital from what I could tell, but it looked as though it had been abandoned for decades. Everywhere there ways debris spread about, broken tiles, paint peeling from the walls like it was trying to escape it's host. The air was hot and dry, choked with dust. Yet there were veins running along the walls that dripped with black tar, a viscous fluid that flowed like crude oil and smelled worse. For every part of this place that was dead and ruined, another felt alive and pulsating.
I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the gurney as a wave of dizziness struck me. Was it a rush of blood to the head, or the result of it's absence? A quick glance at my wrists confirmed that they were now wrapped in blood-soaked bandages, though it had taken on the copper hue of dried blood, as though it no longer flowed from my hidden wounds. How was that possible?
I didn't know. I didn't care. All that mattered was that every inch of me wanted to get on my feet and as far from here as possible. This wasn't the kind of place that should even exist. I stumbled, my arm striking a cluster of dusty instruments, sending them clattering across the floor. They rung out with the intensity of a church bell, shattering the silence that had been deafening until now. No, no, no...I have to get out of here.
I crashed through the operating theatre doors, stumbling as I fought to maintain my balance against the buzzing in my head. The walls pulsed, the veins swelling as they seemed to draw life from the air itself. The hallway was empty, save for discarded equipment and debris strewn about. Pools of black ichor lined the edges, seeping into the cracks and holes. The lights above flickered once, as if giving out their last, dying breath.
"There's nowhere to run to, Nick. This place is all that exists between life and death."
I spun about, my foot slipping on an unseen object as I fell on my back, flood slamming against me with enough force to drive the air from my lings. Sparks shot out across my vision as I fought to see the figure who had appeared from nowhere. There was barely any light at all, and I couldn't make out anything more than a faint silhouette of the being who now seemed to loom over me. But even without light, I knew who that was. The voice was more than I needed.
"Faye..." I squinted desperately. "...that's you, right?"
Instantly, the darkness retreated back into the walls as the fluorescent tubes above me hummed to life. And low and behold, there she was: The monument to all my sins. She was dressed provocatively, knee-high boots crushing shards of broken glass and dirt with every step she took, pleated black skirt leaving very little to the imagination, doing it's very best to accentuate the violet corset that cradled her overly large breasts. But none of that caught my attention. No, it was her eyes that spoke to me. They were black, featureless, like two pools of flawless obsidian that served as a mirror to my soul. They were beautiful. Breathtaking. But they weren't Faye's eyes.
"No..." I whispered. "...not Faye."
"Score one for the new guy." She chided, finishing her little circle as she stopped before me. "Amazing powers of perception. Y'know in a dog show, you'd definitely take the first place."
My mind raced, desperately trying to make sense of any of what I saw. But every time I ran the numbers, I always came up with the same result: This is impossible, and you're screwed. I sat there with my mouth agape, unable to process what was happening.
She extended her hand toward me, helping me to my feet. "Don't worry, you're not dead. Though I can guess you're starting to wish you were."
"What is this place?" I croaked, fighting to contain the maelstrom of fear and panic that were the latest emotions forcing themselves to the head of the queue. "Who are you?"
"This place is a remnant. A paradox. Something that shouldn't exist but does, and refuses to fade only because it can. You could call it Limbo, I suppose. It's as good a name as any."
A wheelchair, devoid of any passenger, rolled down the hallway before veering sharply into one of the rooms. "Limbo...not Purgatory?"
"Two for two." She said, helping me sit at one of the benches set along the hallway. "That's why you're here. You were saved from death, just like I was. We both have that in common, amongst other things."
I tried to wrap my mind about the concept, but concentrating on any thought in a place like this was like trying to catch a leaf on the wind. "How is that even possible...How could I end up here...?"
"If I'd simply let you die, your soul would have gone to waste. There is no god, no devil. The universe is created and constantly permeated by the single consciousness of existence. It's what you were created from, and having lived your life, you would have returned to it, enriching the whole by your experience."
"Then how did I wind up here?" I stared at the floor, trying to make sense of what I was being told.
She looked at me with those dark, featureless eyes, sending a chill through me. "Before your consciousness faded completely, we intervened and bought you to safety, here in Limbo. It's where I and the others of my kind exist, hiding in the space between the spaces."
"Your kind being...?"
A smile settled on her lips. "We are just like you, in a way: aberrations...manifestations of the life force that created you, but never meant to have a life of our own. An accident, a mistake. A cancer of the universe. Sound familiar?"
I braced my head against the wall, gazing back into those dark, lipid pools. "You still haven't told me who you are."
"I was never given a name." She paused, placing a finger to her plump lips. "So I call myself Lust."
"Lust, huh?" I felt a insolent notion bubble up within me. "That's a stupid name."
"You're one to talk." She replied coolly as smoke and ash began two curl about her form, like an outward manifestation of her indignation. "Nicholas, it's so close to Nikki, isn't it?"
Oh, she's good.
The ash and debris slowly receded as she looked me over, taking her time as she spoke aloud the thought's I'd never shared with anyone. "Your whole life is a joke...when a human is conceived, it's inherently female. While it's sex might have already been decided in it's genes, for a short period of time, it's female before it begins to develop male characteristics. Doesn't it just eat you up inside that you were stolen away from that?"
"No, not stolen." I whisper through clenched teeth. "Ripped. Severed. Torn."
She switched gears effortlessly from insulting to soothing, gentle and nurturing. "All your life, you've had to live with that knowledge that everything you ever wanted, the life you deserved, was stolen from you by a twist of fate. The flip of a coin. Your life was doomed before it had even started."
I spun about, hand curled into fists even as a gout of blood poured from my open wounds. "What do you want from me? To admit that my life wasn't worth living? That I'm a defective human being, and my entire life was an irreparable mistake? What do you want from me?!"
"It's not what I want, it's what I can give you." She smiled impishly, her fingers drifting over my chest. "Perfection isn't unattainable. I can give it to you."
"Is that why you brought me here?" I felt my breath catch in my throat, as if all of a sudden I was afraid to believe any of this was true. What if this is just a dream, bought on by the last few drops of blood draining from my body?
Lust shook her head slowly. "Not quite. You and I aren't so different, you know. We're both victims of chance, fate, and most of all, Faye Valentine."
My eyes widened in horror as the implications of her words began to sink in. "What does this have to do with her?"
"Everything." Her tone was cool, but there was a tangible undercurrent of malevolence. "I made her who she is. Her looks, her body, everything. If it weren't for me, you and Kane would still be best-bromantc-buddies."
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts once more as I found myself instinctively distrusting anything she said. This sounded like a sales pitch, something to put me on her side. "So what changed? You sound like she's the one who hurt you, not the other way around."
"I gave up everything I had for her." She replied flatly. "I died just trying to make her happy. To make amends for everything I'd done to affect her life."
"So why aren't you dead, huh?" I eyed her cautiously. "Someone "rescue" you as well?"
Lust nodded solemnly. "In a manner of speaking, yes. But more importantly, I was shown that in exchange for my sacrifice, she's been squandering the gifts I lavished upon her. But you already know all about that, don't you?"
"Yeah..." I agreed reluctantly. "...she doesn't appreciate how lucky she is."
Lust was on her feet now, pacing about me. "Exactly! I gave her the perfection you so desperately seek. I gave up my life so that she could achieve her dreams. In an age where a simple video on the internet can turn a bimbo into a fashion icon overnight, she wastes time doing modelling in catalogues. She has a body that could enthral millions across a hundred different mediums, yet she shares it with her girlfriend alone. Let me ask you Nick, is that fair?"
"....no."
"Is it fair that while you suffer in silence, she lives in blissful ignorance?"
"No, it's not."
"That's right." She drew closer now, the passion in her voice slowly beginning to cool. "You deserve more. You deserve revenge, as do I."
"You want...revenge on Faye?"
"Isn't that why you're here?" Her breasts we pressed gently against my chest, hot breath drifting across my neck as she spoke. "You didn't kill yourself just to end the torment. There's a little part of you...dark and malignant that you're too afraid to acknowledge, that wanted to hurt Faye. Hurt her like she's hurt you."
I couldn't argue. No matter how much I wanted to, even though what she'd said was an affront to every decent fibre of my being. None of that stopped her from being absolutely right.
"What do you want me to do?" I whispered.
Her voice was so dark, so thick with self-satisfaction, that it made me weak at the knees. Without even realizing we were playing a game, it only just dawned on me that I'd been utterly defeated.
"That's the best part: You don't have to do anything. I'll take care of it for both of us..."
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Sweet air poured into my lungs as I convulsed on the bathroom floor, my lifeless heart roaring with renewed vigour as it pumped blood through my cold, empty veins once more. For a moment I didn't know what had happened. Was I asleep? Had it all just been a dream? My body was cold and sticky, but it was impossible to determine anything else as I lay against the ceramic tiles, as the moon had dipped behind a bank of clouds, leaving the room plunged in darkness.
When I began to move, that's when I realized how wrong everything felt. In spite of the cold and numbness that had crept over me, I felt...different. Like a stranger to myself. My mind flashed back to the conversation with Lust and the Faustian bargain she had offered me. But that was just a dream, right? Too many times in my life I'd had such dreams, where the impossible had transpired, only to awake the next morning and contend with the disappointment of reality. Would I dare to hope that this night was any different?
I touched my face, slowly...hesitantly, waiting for the other shoe to drop and dispel the illusion that I'd lulled myself into. But my fingertips were met only with soft, hairless skin. They traced their way about my features, and I felt my heart quicken with every moment that they surveyed the unfamiliar landscape of flesh. They curled about my neck, finding a waterfall of silken hair draped over my shoulders.
Oh god. This is really happening.
In that moment of realization, I felt a spike of fear pierce my consciousness. I'd spent my whole life waiting for a moment like this, hoping against hope that it might somehow be possible. It was the only light in a bottomless well of despair and anguish that encompassed my life. But now that the day had finally come, I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. I didn't know if I could wrap my mind around the idea that all my dreams had come true at once.
My hand began to move with a mind of it's own, no longer content to slowly drink in the sensations my body presented me. It moved downward, picking up speed as it traversed the slope of a full, smooth breast. I nearly doubled over, the sensation so intense, so alien yet infinitely delightful that I could barely stand it. Yet my hand moved onward, determined to plunge forward even when I wasn't sure if I could withstand any further revelations. It followed the curve of my abdomen, over the gentle swell of my hips until it slid between my legs. In that one, perfect moment which stretched out for eternity, it found....nothing.
I didn't know wether to laugh or cry. All I could do was try to maintain my balance as I clambered to my feet as quickly as I could, hands spreading out for purchase on anything they could find. My mind was reeling with the implications of what I now knew to be true: I was a woman...but what did I look like? Lust could make herself look however she wanted, it would seem... was it the same for me? I bet I look incredible. Maybe a model like Faye? Would I be brunette, or maybe a redhead? So many questions, I couldn't wait to answer them. My hand fumbled about in the darkness, eventually finding the switch for the vanity light.
The fluorescent light above me flickered a few times, eventually humming to life as it bathed the room in a harsh, white glow. With the vanity smashed, I had to settle for one of Faye's smaller cosmetic mirrors she used for applying makeup. Holding it up, I gazed at my reflection, my eyes taking a moment to recognize the features I now possessed:
I was ....kinda cute, really: Long blonde hair, blue eyes and lips that were full and pouty. I was younger too, a teenager just like Faye. Everything about my features seemed to be an intoxicating mixture of innocence and a hint of sensuality, designed to tempt any wandering eye with a femineity that was just out of reach, the kind that I'd had to endure every day of my life. But at last, in this perfect moment...I was whole.
I was also covered head to toe, in my own blood.
That sticky sensation I'd felt when I first awoke was created by a pool of blood , one that had spilled from my wrists when I had decided to take my own life. It was...everywhere. All over the floors. Parts of the wall and vanity...anywhere I'd touched before I succumbed to deaths sweet embrace. So when I awoke, I seemed to be in exactly the same place I'd been where I passed away, rubbing it over my naked body as I fumbled about in the darkness.
All that beauty. All that blood. It was a schism. Too harsh a juxtaposition for my fragile mind to take after what it had been subjected to.
I threw up.
Chapter two:
It was a few minutes before I'd managed to convince my stomach to stop rebelling against my mouth, in which time I found myself curled up over the toilet, hand clutching my abdomen as the other propped me against the bowl. Every movement, even the slightest touch felt foreign...alien and unfamiliar in ways I couldn't really describe. I was numb and more alive than I'd ever been all at the same time. A shard of ice engulfed by flame.
I was snapped out of my reverie by the sound of the front door being unlocked, tumblers rolling obediently into place from a keys gentle nudge. My blue eyes were wide with terror as I sat helplessly naked on the floor, listening as the door popped open and a figure made it's way inside. I already knew who it was...after all, there was only one person who it could be.
"Hey Nick, you still awake?" Faye called out loud enough that it wouldn't matter if I was asleep or not. "I'm having a tea party and you're cordially invited, asshole."
Having a tea party meant that she'd bought home fast food. She was probably still high off a dozen Red Bulls and looking to burn it off on video games. Holding a tea party at the same time was just her way of buttering me up if I'd decided to turn in for the night. Sounds emanating from the kitchen indicated she had set paper bags down on the counter top, but I knew it wouldn't be long before she found her way into the bathroom for one reason or another. Even if she didn't, it's not like I could hide in here forever.
"Fuck..." I hissed through clenched teeth. I had two options available to me...if I waited in here, she'd find me eventually. If I confronted her, at least I'd have a little more credibility in the "Not a crack whore who broke into your house" league. But if I was going to take the latter option, I'd have to move fast before she found me.
Moving as quickly as I dared without losing balance, I rose to my feet and began to navigate the minefield of broken glass that was still scattered across the floor. I felt my bare breasts wobbling with every step, but my mind was to preoccupied with more pressing matters to be distracted by it. I grabbed a towel off the rack, wrapping it around me as best I could to cover my nakedness, along with all the blood that was dried against my skin.
"Right, because that should definitely soften the blow." I mused to myself.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, sending blood roaring through my veins as I stepped out of the bathroom and slowly made my way toward the living area. I stepped out enough to see Faye lost in her own little world, busy prepping a tray of hamburgers, shakes and cold French fries. I couldn't help but shiver as my eyes wandered over her body, dressed in a light blue halter top, pink pleated skirt that hugged her waist and big, knee-high combat boots. Just a few hours ago I'd been so envious of her that I'd been driven to kill myself. Now I could borrow her clothes.
"Faye...it's me, Nick." My voice was soft, light and tremoring with anxiety. I'd barely been able to keep myself from choking as I spoke.
The unfamiliar voice was enough to make Faye turn around out of curiosity. But when her eyes fell upon me, her expression paled into outright terror. She stumbled backward, hand fumbling for a knife she'd been using to cut up a pack of brownies.
"Holy shit! Who the fuck are you?!" Her hand found the knife, and in a flash it was pointed at me, blade glinting in the light.
There wasn't going to be any easy way to do this. I had to try and convince her of who I was before she did something really stupid. I'd already died once tonight. I didn't feel like doing an encore.
"Faye, it's me, Nick!" I pleaded, unsure of how I could sound any more sincere. "I know what I look like, bu-"
"The fuck you do! I've never seen you before in my life, and you show up naked, covered in blood and trying to tell me you're my roommate? You've got ten seconds to tell me who you are before I start getting stabby!"
Oh shit. I had to think fast. TV rules weren't going to work here: I'd barely get a chance to tell Faye what her favourite food was before she separated my head from my shoulders. Shit. Shit. Shit. Say something!
"Lust!" I blurted out, not sure if was out of instinct or something more sinister that had driven me. "I met Lust...she did this to me!"
Just the mention of Lust's name was enough to give Faye pause. Her Asian features narrowed as she looked at me dubiously, unsure if this was some kind of trick. "What are you talking about? Lust is dead."
I had to keep the momentum going. Keep her off balance before she decided that this was some kind of elaborate ruse set up by a vanquished entity. "She's not dead Faye, I don't understand everything....fuck, I don't understand anything! All I know is...she came to me, and I...I..."
"Keep going..." She said, not lowering the knife as she studied me.
But that was the problem: I couldn't keep going without telling Faye that I'd killed myself. That I'd done this because of her. That everything that had happened tonight was borne out of a spite that had been building in me like a cancer, directed solely at her. But how could I explain all the blood?
"I had an accident!" I cringed inwardly, realizing that this was going to be half-assed at best. "I tripped in the bathroom as I got out of the shower. I broke the mirror and...of fuck...my wrists, there was so much blood and...and...she told me she could save me, but there had to be a price!"
The fear that lingered in Faye's eyes quickly began to fade as realization set in. "Oh god....Nick, you mean...that's really you?"
I nodded slowly, swallowing as I tried to force down the bile that was rising to the tip of my throat. "I was scared, okay? I didn't know what to do. Everything happened so fast...so I just said yes. Anything she wanted, just not to let me die."
The knife fell from her hand, punctuating the silence as it clattered against the tiles. In a second she was on me, pinning me against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of me. Was she really this strong, or was I suddenly so weak? "Are you crazy? Do you have any idea of what you've done?!"
I was speechless as I looked into her eyes, which were only inches away from mine, roaring with a terrible fire that consumed her logic and reasoning. "Lust doesn't want to help you. She'll take everything you have, everything about you until there's nothing left! Your friends, your family, me! Everything is just another meal to keep herself alive!"
A gaping maw opened up in the pit of my stomach. Was she right?
I struggled to think, to say anything that might calm her down. "How was I to know? You never told me about her...you always shut me out, never told me anything about how this happened or why. If you'd just let me in, just once..."
She cringed, eyes shutting tightly as my words struck her. For a moment I was worried they may only stoke the flames of her indignant rage. But instead I felt her hands slide away from my shoulders, and she took a deep breath to calm herself as she withdrew. "You mean...she told you?"
I nodded solemnly. Perhaps not everything, but I knew more than enough to realize why my attempts to recreated the transformation that had afflicted her never worked. There was no spell, no lingering magic that had transformed Kane into the buxom, exotic beauty before me. Therefore there was nothing to recreate. It had all been Lust's doing.
"Fuck." She bit her lip, hesitating as she looked away. "I didn't want to keep the truth from you Nick. I just figured there are some things you're better off not knowing. I wish I'd never met her, that's for sure."
"You think I shouldn't have had the right to make that decision for myself?"
"Maybe..."
I said nothing, simply letting silence hang in the air between us.
"Okay...." She nodded solemnly, the last embers of her anger slowly fading. "If I'd known something like...whatever the fuck it is that's happened...would happen, I'd have told you. But it's not your fault that I didn't."
"So you believe me now?" I asked, looking at her hopefully.
"Yeah..." She took a step back, unable to look at me for some reason. "...I do. C'mon Nick, let's get you cleaned up. While we do I'll tell you everything."
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While I stood in the shower, hot water coursing over the unfamiliar roadmap of my body, Faye told me everything as she had promised. It was the same story that Lust had given me, only from a completely different perspective. Lust had painted Faye as a selfish, conceited girl who'd never had my best interests at heart. That she's used my friendship to help her come to terms with her newfound femininity, and now that she no longer needed me, I'd been cast to the wayside.
The picture Faye painted was a little less flattering. She told me of a dark presence clawing at the edges of her mind, feeding off her emotion and defiance to make itself stronger. That when she finally revealed herself in Faye's dreams, she'd offered to give Faye her old life back, in exchange for taking mine. Faye thought she was going to kill me, using my own life force to feed her own.
Even with her old life...everything she'd ever wanted being there for the taking, so close that she could touch it...Faye couldn't bring herself to accept it. She couldn't trade my life for her old one, so she refused Lust's offer.
"Oh god." I said quietly, voice almost drowned out by the shower. "You did that for me?"
Faye was sitting on the toilet, slowly collecting the broken shards into a dust tray. "Sure. How could I live with myself if I'd done anything else?"
I rested my head against the cool glass of the stall. I was exhausted right through to the marrow of my bones, the nights ordeal leaving me completely drained. "Yeah, but...you never even thought about it?"
"Well, yeah." She shrugged, tipping the glass into a small trashcan. "But it's not like I ever considered it seriously. It's just not who I am."
Yet I'd been given the same proposal, and not even given it a second though.
"So what did she ask of you?"
I blinked, mind still trying to grasp threads of the conversation. "What did she ask of me?"
"Yeah." She sat on the vanity now, close enough to the shower that I could see her clearly through the steam. "That's her deal: She never does anything for free. She'll only trade one favour for another of equal value."
I nodded, my recollection seeming to verify that. "Yeah, that was the impression a got but...I...I...oh shit."
"What is it? What did she want in return?" An edge of panic grew in her voice.
"That's just it. I can't remember!" It was probably the first thing I'd said to Faye all night that wasn't an outright lie: I really couldn't remember. Everything she'd said and done, right up to the point where I'd accepted her offer was crystal clear. But what she wanted in return? Poof. Gone. File not found.
"Crap..." There was an edge of fear and uncertainty in her voice, but she was trying to remain calm. "Okay, maybe you just need some time to remember. Dealing with Lust can be a pretty harrowing experience, and after everything you've been through, your brain is probably pretty scrambled."
"Tell me about it." I muttered softly.
"Are you done in there?" She asked, obviously trying to change subjects in case I might be worried about my sudden memory lapse. "It's nearly 3am. I've got a reputation, but even I'm starting to hit my limits."
Turning off the faucets, I stepped carefully out of the shower, still unfamiliar with my new centre of balance. I stood infront of Faye, naked body glistening with beads of water as she did her own silent appraisal of her new roommate. "You look good, Nick."
"Really?" I was surprised by what a relief it was to hear her say that.
"Well...yeah." She shrugged, trying to look innocent as she made no attempt to hide her still wandering eyes. "I mean, you know I'm into girls anyway...but yeah, you're kinda hot. I've always had a thing for the cheerleader type, even when I was a guy."
"Cheerleader type?"
She bit her lip, suddenly realizing that my emotions would be pretty raw after everything that had happened. "Oh, shit. Sorry. It was meant as a compliment. I mean...I don't know if you've had a good look at yourself, especially without all the blood...but you're a hottie: Pretty face, blue eyes, blonde hair. Body pretty slender, not as curvy as mine. Your boobs are kinda small though...but you're probably thankful for that. Still, you have nice legs and a cute ass. Whatever Lust asked you in return for all this, it must be pretty valuable to her."
My heart leapt as every word left her mouth. I wanted to kiss her, hold her tight and tell her I was the happiest girl in the world right now. But I couldn't. I had to keep the charade up, or she'd find out everything. I nodded solemnly, trying to look as if I was one step away from crying.
"Thanks, I guess that's a little consolation."
"Sure it is." A smile crept across her face. "If you want I could put in a word for you down at the modelling agency. Allegra is looking for some new girls, you'd fit right in."
Goddammitsomuch...stop trying to cheer me up. "I think I'd rather just go to bed right now."
Faye kept smiling, but her expression shifted slightly, looking more curious. "Sure, but what's with the ring?"
"Ring?" I had no clue what she was talking about.
Faye pointed to my left hand, and my gaze wandered down to my slender fingers. Wrapped around the third one, was a small, elegant pink ring. I must have been oblivious to it with everything that had been happening, along with the blood that had covered most of my body.
"I...I don't know. I've never seen it before." I help my hand up to the light, examining the object closely. It looked as if it was carved from a single piece of pink topaz, no metal band or crown. In the centre was a symbol I didn't recognize: An elaborate rune like something you might see in an ancient codex.
Faye placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it now. We can sort that out in the morning."
I couldn't tell you how long I lay in bed the next morning, eyes closed, body perfectly still beneath the bed sheets. My breath was shallow and short, trying to minimize even the slightest movement of my lungs. I wanted to savour this. To take my time and drink my fill of every little sensation. To revel in the simple act of being a girl. Last night everything had happened so fast, draining me so quickly that I was almost numb to it. But now? Refreshed and awake, I was ready to take my time unwrapping this prese-
---------------------------------------------
"Nick, are you awake?" A voice called tentatively from the other side of the door.
Shitballs.
Any other day I'd stay perfectly quiet and hope that she left me alone. I knew from experience that was an easy way to get rid of her. The only reason I even contemplated answering was the fact I'd already lied to Faye so much about what had happened, the thought of adding any more red to that ledger made me sick to my stomach.
"Yeah." I muttered, eyes open as a groan of frustration slid by my lips.
The bedroom door opened slowly as Faye gingerly made her way in. She was carrying a couple of coffee mugs, one in each hand that threatened to spill their contents over the carpet with every step. Setting one mug on the desk beside my bed, she carefully sat on the edge of my bed and smiled, cradling the other cup in her hands. She was dressed in a small pink t-shirt and blue cotton shorts, though given the bleary look on her face and state of her normally styled hair, it was safe to say she'd only woken up several minutes ago.
"How are you feeling?"
I smiled sheepishly, forcing down the urge to tell her I'd rather be left alone. Besides, part of me was actually grateful for her showing such concern. It was a side of her I was rarely shown. "Probably about as well as you'd expect."
Faye's smile widened a little more. "You think so? You're doing a lot better than I did when it happened to me."
That cast my mind back to when Faye was first transformed from a grungy, out-of-shape college student into the teen goddess that sat before me. Her transformation had taken place over weeks, every day stripped a little more of her manhood away until there was nothing left. She definitely didn't take it well, that was for sure. I was pretty sure she'd even tried to kill herself at one point. Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ, huh?
"That was different." I said. "We didn't know what was happening to you, or why. I guess now at least we know who's responsible and why they did it."
Faye's eyes narrowed, enhancing her Asian ethnicity. "Yeah...but you still seem a lot calmer than I expected."
I tried to give her a reassuring look. "Trust me, I'm freaking out on the inside. I just don't think it's really sunk in yet."
Faye nodded, taking another sip of her coffee. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. At least I had a chance to figure out what was happening. You didn't get hit with the girl-stick, Lust smashed you with the whole tree at once."
I lifted the second coffee cup to my lips. After everything that had happened, even Faye's instant-coffee-paint-stripper-special tasted pretty good. "Tell me about it. One minute I'm dying on the bathroom floor, next minute I wake up a bare-assed naked girl."
Faye let out a low whistle. "Yeah, what a mind-job."
I smiled warmly, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, but at least I've got you, right? Nobody was really able to sympathize with what was happening to at first."
Her almond eyes widened in surprise. "Are you kidding me? You were always there for me! I mean...I don't think I could have made it without you."
My turn to be surprised. "Are you serious?"
"Fuck yes!" She exclaimed. "What didn't you do for me? You helped me with fake ID. You kept money coming in when I was broke. You kept us in house and home. And you were always ready to listen if I needed to talk about my problems...which I had craploads of."
I shrugged innocently, instantly regretting it as I felt the bed sheets rubbing against my chest. "Just trying to do the right thing, I guess."
"Give yourself a little more credit! You were totally the big brother that I never had."
I smiled sheepishly, unused to Faye lavishing me with this much attention. "So much for that, right? More like your sister now."
Faye raised an eyebrow dubiously "Blonde all American girl and her half-Asian sister? Not likely."
"Good point." I muttered.
Faye noticed the disappointment creep into my voice and quickly switched gears "But hey, that's why I'm here. I'm gonna give you all the support that you gave me. So you will be my sister, in spirit at least."
I blinked in surprise, slightly taken aback. Last night she was about to stab me with a knife, today she's my new sister? "Oh...wow, thanks. I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything." She shook her head lightly. "Like I said, you gave me all the help I could ever ask for. The least I can do is return the favour."
"I really appreciate it. I don't know the first thing about being a girl anyway." Which was oddly true. As much as I'd lived my entire life wanting to be a girl, I didn't actually know much about being one now that I'd been granted that wish.
"It's a pretty steep learning curve, trust me." She chided. "But I managed to adapt, slowly anyway. So I'll help as much as I can."
"So where do we start?"
She gave me a surprised look. "Eager beaver, huh?"
I gave her bored-looking pout. "I'm awake now. So I can either start figuring this stuff out, or I can lay in bed all day feeling sorry for myself. Which would you prefer?"
She shot back a dirty look "Look who's as smart as smart pants wearing super-smart pants?"
"Hey, you asked. You had your way of coping, but I'm not gonna sulk." I paused, realizing what a broad statement that was. "Not yet, anyway."
"Alright, so lets get a better look at you." She said, gesturing to the bed sheets.
"Wait, what?" I balked. "I'm still naked under these!"
"Okay, three things." She said, holding up the same number of digits. "First: I already saw you naked last night. Second: I see girls undressed all the time when I'm at a modelling shoot. Third: I'm bi, remember?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Not helping your case with number three."
She gave me a wry smile. "What do you want me to do, strip naked as well to make you feel better?"
"Yes." I stated flatly.
Well that sure knocked the wind out of her sails. Faye stared at me, speechless for a moment. "You can't be serious."
"Why not?" I asked, doing my best to look as indignant as I could. "I've never seen you naked since you became a girl. Why do I have to act like a stripper now that it's my turn?"
She contemplated my argument for a moment, and she seemed to visibly resist the urge to simply walk out in a temper tantrum. Eventually she bit her lip, looking me straight in the eye. "You want to see me naked? Fine."
I felt a familiar pang of guilt as she stood up, moving her hands down to the hemline of her t-shirt. Lying to her about all this was one thing, but this was being downright manipulative. The truth was I couldn't wait to see how my new body looked, wether Faye was in the room or not. When I'd seen myself last night, I was either covered in blood or so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. Everything had been a blur. Honestly, I'd been waiting for her to leave so I could throw back the covers.
But I couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. Part of the reason I'd been so envious of Faye was how hot she looked after she became a girl. It would have been creepy if I'd ever tried to spy on her, and if I was caught I didn't want to risk damaging our friendship, so I kept my distance. But come on...she looked like a mix of Keeley Hazell and Hiromi Oshima: An exotic bombshell with killer curves and a face to match. How could I say no?
She tugged at the hemline gently, pulling her shirt upward with practiced grace. It seemed to meet a little resistance as the fabric slid away from her breasts, but a moment later they popped free, bouncing and tugging at her chest as she finished pulling the garment over her head, tossing it aside. She knew I was staring, but she didn't seem to care as she hooked her thumbs around the waistline of her shorts and tugged them down, letting go as they slid down her silken legs. They pooled about her feet before she kicked them away, leaving her to focus for a moment as she struck a provocative pose.
"Happy now?" She smiled impishly.
My eyes roamed about the shape of her body, drawn in by it's seductive curves and intoxicating femininity. There wasn't a single mark or imperfection...it was as if when Lust created her body, she wanted Faye to exude sexuality and intimate desire. She was completely hairless below the neck, even the crotch nestled between her luscious hips was baby smooth, her vagina nothing but a cute fold of flesh disappearing between her thighs.
My eyes moved up over the soft curve of her abdomen and pinch of her waist, settling on her breasts. They were...huge, especially for her tiny frame. I'd seen her bras in the wash before, but I'd never actually seen her boobs bare, jutting out proudly from her chest as if proclaiming her womanhood to the world. Perfect spheres of lightly tan flesh, boldly defiant of gravity that were topped off with thick, brown nipples.
Deciding that the silence was growing a little too uncomfortable, she finally spoke up. "Nick, you're staring."
I blinked a couple of times, finding myself blushing. "I...sorry, I mean...your tits are huge!"
She gave me a deadpan look. "My tits? You've got boobs now too, y'know."
As dumb as it sounds, I guess I walked into that one. "Yeah, but mine are...umm..."
"Are what?" She asked curiously.
I'd really been hoping to check myself out in detail when I had some privacy. No chance for that now I guess. Besides, I still owed Faye a little quid-pro-quo. With a laboured sigh, I tugged the sheets away from my chest, exposing my own breasts to her. Her eyes wandered down, as did mine to settle on the small, creamy orbs that protruded from my chest.. It felt so weird to be staring at my body, finally seeing something that I'd wanted my whole life before today. It felt wonderfully surreal.
"...mine aren't in the same league as yours." I said, finishing my earlier remark. And it was true. My breasts were definitely perky and cute in their own way, with pink nipples standing firmly at attention, but they weren't even half as large as Faye's.
"Trust me, that's a good thing." She hefted her breasts, which didn't even fit in her hands, to emphasizing the point. "Between all the undue attention I get and the trouble in finding a bra that fits, my girls are more trouble than they're worth. You should be thankful Lust gave you a more average size."
I poked my own chest experimentally, marvelling at the sensations emanating from my newly acquired mammaries: They were soft, but firm. Wobbly, but also still. A living contradiction, just like a woman. "Huh?"
Faye rolled her eyes, a smile twisting the corner of her lips as she caught me lost in my own little world. "You're still going to need a bra though, so we'll have to get you measured up. Obviously nothing I have is going to fit you."
My cheeks flushed red.. "Oh, yeah? Then what size is your bra, smartass?"
Her eyes moved back down to her breasts as she spoke. "Since I became a girl? My boobs kinda fluctuated in size...I guess that's just hormones and junk, but that happens to a lot of women from what I've been told. The last few months they seem to have settled on a 32F."
"Holy shit." I said, already gawking without realizing it.
Her breath hissed between her teeth as she seemed to contemplate my reaction. "Yeah, well I'd totally prefer to have boobs your size. Aside from the stuff I mentioned, Allegra's only been booking me for swimsuit modelling stuff since my last growth spurt. And half the guys who shoot that stuff are pervs, I swear."
Ugh. She still doesn't appreciate the gifts she's been given. Not one bit.
Suddenly she gave me a friendly smile, realizing we were getting off topic. "Anyways, we're here to talk about you, not me. Stand up, I want to see the rest of your cute little bod."
I hesitated for a moment, suddenly unsure of myself. Sure, Faye had already seen me naked...heck, I had already seen myself naked last night when I was in the shower. But everything was such a blur, I was totally numb to it. The whole experience was so surreal that I felt like I'd been looking at someone else's body instead of my own. But now? I was well rested, my senses were sharp, and my body was on fire with a softness and sensuality that I'd never dreamt possible.
"Uh...sure, no problem." I stammered.
I pulled the covers back enough to swing my legs out. Instantly I winced, feeling muscles I didn't possess only hours ago twitch between my thighs, highlighting the seemingly vast emptiness that now resonated from my crotch. It's funny how you don't miss what you've got till it's gone...all my life, I'd seen my "gentleman's luggage" as an abomination.
But now that it was gone, and I was staring at a cute, pink vagina covered by a small strip of blonde hair? I found myself kinda missing it.
My vagina...pussy...whatever you wanted to call it. Just felt...weird. Just put aside the disconcerting sense of having a limb hacked off for a moment, and try to picture being given a whole new organ that you've no idea how to use. Every little movement seemed to cause unfamiliar muscles to flex and twitch, the kind of stuff any girl would probably never notice. After all, you never think about the muscles involved when you wiggle your toes, do you?
I tried to steady my resolve as I stood up, telling myself that I would have to get used to this. After all, being a girl was what I'd always wanted, right? Sure, I wasn't as curvy as Faye, but given the situation it's not like I was going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Oh geez...this is weird."
Faye couldn't help herself, grinning impishly as I finally managed to compose myself. "Weird, isn't it?"
I frowned, taking a few experimental steps as I slowly remembered the balance I'd discovered for myself last night. "Ah...yeah, it's definitely going to take some getting used to."
Faye looked as calm as a Hindu cow, despite the fact that she wasn't covered in a stitch of clothing. Obviously all those hours she'd spent modelling had given her a hot-and-I-know-it sense of confidence. "I can probably count myself lucky. My change was a lot more gradual, so at least I had time to adjust."
I nodded slowly, feeling blonde strands of hair tickling my shoulders. "Yeah, just gimme a few minutes...not much different to wearing a backpack, right?"
"That's an...awkward metaphor."
"Shut up." I scowled. "I'm doing the best I can here."
After several more experimental steps, I quickly found I had little difficulty compensating for balance. Faye nodded lightly with approval, her eyes seeming to critique every last bit of flesh as she watch me move about the bedroom. "Well, you don't have any wings growing out of your back or anything like that. You seem pretty normal, so welcome to the girls club I guess."
"Uh, tha-" I was cut off by her arms sliding around my waist, pulling me into a warm hug. The her enormous tits dwarfed my own as they squashed together, the sensation was so intense and unexpected I swear I almost passed out.
As she drew away, I felt my cheeks flush as my head swam with a myriad of emotions: Shock, lust, surprise, embarrassment and several others, eventually settling on disbelief. "Oh come on! You can not tell me girls get naked and hug each other all the time."
Faye's smile put a Cheshire cat to shame "No, but like I said, you're a hottie and I'm bi, remember? Besides, the look on your face was priceless."
I felt my jaw clench tightly. "So you're just fucking with me?"
"A little." She conceded, smile still playing on her lips. "I used to be a guy too, remember? I get as big a kick out of this as you do."
Great. Only been a girl for twelve hours and she's already taking me to school. "Isn't there a fire somewhere you should be dying in right now?"
"Probably." She gave me a playful shove. "But the peep show's over for now. C'mon, let's see about hiding your shame."
Chapter three:
Faye led me to her bedroom, which was located right next to mine. It was a hallowed sanctum, a place I was never allowed to catch a glimpse of, let alone enter. She had joked a few times that it was her "Fortress of Solitude". Like the one that Superman has in the North Pole. Faye was always careful to never make any geek references to anyone but me...even her friends who knew that she used to be a guy rarely saw that side of her. I guess when you create a new persona to match your body, you need to be careful that it won't come crashing down around what's left of your ego. Kinda like me and the masks I always wore....shit, the longer this morning wore on, the more I was starting to realize that Lust had played me for a fool. Faye was never the enemy, I was just too blind to see it.
Of course I had seen Faye's room before, so walking in wasn't a complete surprise: The place looked like a bomb had hit it: Garments all over the floor, clean and dirty. Stickers and posters covered just about everything, and if you could get around the laundry, there was still other random debris mixed in with guitars, skateboard parts and a curiously empty box labelled "Silly Monkey".
"Take a seat." Faye said, gesturing to her bed. "I should be able to find something you can wear."
I sat down slowly, wincing lightly as I felt the sheets brush against my bare crotch. "Ahh!"
"Something wrong?" She glanced back at me curiously.
"N-no...just getting used to this."
"Oh, right." She set about rummaging through the wardrobe, tossing out further items of clothing onto the floor as she went. "Sorry, I guess this is still a lot for you to take in."
"I'm coping. Sorta." I muttered.
"Well don't get your hopes up." She said, examining a pair of jeans. "I might be able to find some panties that fit, but you're way too small for any of my bras. Best we can hope for is something lose and comfortable."
"No garters and stockings?" I asked, only joking....mostly, anyway.
"Let's crawl before we can walk." She started to separate the clothes into piles. "Right now you're on training wheels. Lingerie is like...black-belt girlness."
"That's an awkward metaphor."
"Shut the fuck up." She shot back, tossing a bundle of clothes at me much harder than necessary. "See how those fit."
"Do I really have to? Wearing your clothes is gonna be kinda...weird." I honestly didn't mind the idea of wearing her clothes, but I had an illusion of reluctance to maintain.
"Do you want to walk around naked all day?"
"Obviously not." I grimaced. "But what's wrong with my stuff?"
Faye shrugged her shoulders, causing her oversized breasts to wobble comically. "Nothing really. But you're like, almost the same height as me now. Yesterday you were over a foot taller. So your shirts will probably fit like tents, and your pants are gonna fall off the second you put them on."
"Good point." I felt lightheaded as I began to sort through the clothes she'd given me: A pair of blue cotton panties, black Adidas track pants and a red halter top. "You sure this stuff will fit?"
Faye was already stepping into a pair of cotton panties, sliding them up and giving her butt a little wiggle as she adjusted them over her hips. "Probably not, but that's the best I can do. If I'd known you were going to be turned into a girl by a malevolent spirit of desire, I would have stolen a few more outfits from work."
I decided not to waste any more time, stepping into the panties like I would any pair of jockeys. So far, so good. Though even the brush of fabric against my hairless legs was eerily seductive. Why were my legs hairless anyway? I began to wonder if my legs had been created to be permanently hairless. The natural progression of that thought was considering if the same thing applied to Faye and her crotch...
"I was wondering how you bankrolled your ever-expanding wardrobe." I said rather nervously, trying to redirect my thoughts.
"I'm a hedonist. Sue me." She replied nonchalantly, slipping on a pair of pink shorts. Dammit, trying not to stare was becoming a full time job.
"Pretty sure they'll do more than that." The fabric dug into my crotch a little too snugly as I pulled the panties up, causing a girlish squeak to force it's way past my lips. Faye paused for a moment, staring at me and the look of shocked confusion that was now etched into my face.
To her credit, she tried to hold it in, but a moment later she bust into a fit of laughter. "Oh my god! Holy shit...sorry...I, oh man, you should see the look on your face!"
"Shut up!" I spat, finding myself embarrassed not by the sound I'd made but by how...weird that felt. I'd barely even had a chance to look at my new sex, let alone sample the sensations it offered. I'd expected it to be a sublimely delicious and feminine experience putting on a pair of panties for the first time. But the reality was...somewhat more mundane. Just fabric pulling up against a soft swell of unfamiliar flesh, eliciting an odd but intense sensation that caught me off guard.
She immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, realizing that I was still feeling raw emotionally. "Shit! Sorry, I didn't mean anything negative. I just didn't think..."
"You're damn right you didn't think!" I glared at her, still trying to force down the surge of sensation and raw emotion. "After everything I've been through, do you think you could cut me a little slack?"
Faye held up her hands defensively. "You're right. I'm sorry. My bad and all that. I guess this is just one of those situations where you can either laugh or cry, right?"
I took a deep breath, nodding slowly as I began to calm down. "Okay...you're right."
Faye quickly plucked a t-shirt out of her wardrobe and slipped it on. "You're on of the most important people in my life Nick. I would never do anything to hurt you, especially now. Okay? I just want you to understand that. "
"What about the time you waited until I was sleeping, then glued my eyelids shut?"
She gave me a dirty look "Don't be a dick."
"Trust me, I wish that was still possible."
---------------------------------------------
Simply being a girl wasn't the reason I envied Faye so much. After all, the internet is full of teenage girls who are miserable. They don't believe they're pretty enough, or sexy. Their teeth aren't straight, they're too fat, too thin, too ugly, too dumb. Those are the labels they give themselves, and they'll scream to anyone who will listen how they're not perfect. They might be telling the truth, I suppose. Who knows? I figured they shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Everyone wants what they can't have. It's the oldest story in the book.
Faye's perfection didn't just stem from her flawless body or impossible curves. That's only a part of the puzzle. What she created was born from being fearless. When she began her journey, she was terrified of everything...like the world was out to get her. It had already taken so much, what would happen if it decided to finish the job?
But as time progressed, I watched her slowly change. Rather than resenting what had been thrust upon her, she began to embrace it. She took a weakness and made it her strength. She didn't care about fate, or magic. She decided that rather than try and hide from what life might do to her, she demanded it to do it's worst, and she'd see who was still standing when the dust settled. To her, the only way she could fail was to stop fighting.
Wether I believed she enjoyed what had been given to her, or if she had truly squandered her potential, there was no question that Faye embraced life as a girl wholeheartedly. Kane was just a memory to us both, and while I saw flashes of him when we played video games, or argued who would win in a fight between Optimus Prime and Batman (clearly Batman, duh), Faye was his evolution. And I think deep down inside, even Faye knew that she was better for it.
"So have you figured out what the ring is about?" Faye asked, pouring herself a glass of iced coffee.
I glanced up from where I was sitting across the counter, blinking a few times as I realized I'd been caught in my own little world. "No, outside the fact it won't come off."
She sighed before taking a sip from the tall glass. "I'm worried about that thing. Lust never gave me anything like that, which means it's definitely going to be used for something."
"You're worried about that?" I asked, a touch of incredulity creeping into my voice. "I thought that would be pretty low on the list."
"Aside from the sudden lack of a male role model in the house."
I ran a hand through my hair, still finding it's length more irritating than anything else. "What am I gonna do? I've got no life, no job, no fucking....anything!"
She gave me a wounded look "What about me?"
"Aside from the newfound sisterhood in the house." I said ruefully.
"I thought you and your family were kinda....estranged." Her words were carefully spoken, leaving no room for interpretation.
"We are. Sorta." I muttered. "We had a falling out last year, I said some things, they said some things....now I'm the bad guy and they're waiting on an apology."
"Okay, so at least they're not expecting to hear from you for a while. I had to cut ties with my family....we just talk via email now. I don't answer any phone calls."
"At least there's still that, I guess."
"Wonders of modern communication. It's so impersonal nobody knows what gender you are." She took another sip of her coffee. "You can stop pretending you're a girl in all the message boards you visit."
"Not helping."
She held her hands up defensively. "My bad. Couldn't help myself...just a little levity."
I shook my head. "What about my job then? There's no way I show up and try to act like nothings happened."
Faye nodded thoughtfully. "Same deal? Just send them a text or something saying you quit. I've got enough money in my savings to keep up with the rent for a little while, and I can always take a few more jobs from Elise if we come up short."
"Isn't she your modelling agent?"
"Yeah, she's the one hooking me up with all the swimsuit shoots lately. I stopped doing them a while ago because...I dunno, just seems creepy to think there's probably a hundred guys whacking off to your picture in a bikini at any given moment."
I felt a little better knowing that we weren't suddenly going to be evicted next week. "Is that the only reason?"
She shrugged. "I guess. That, and it just leads to more risqué stuff. I even got invited to a Playboy party that's being thrown in a fancy hotel downtown. I was gonna check it out, but Elise thinks they might just be scouting for talent."
"You should check it out." I smirked impishly. "Playmate of the month pays pretty well."
"Maybe I could send you instead?" She shot back, her acrid words ending the conversation without chance of rebuttal.
"Okay..." I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. "...I think I can do this. I mean...I can cook up another fake ID like I did for you. That's the easy part."
She finished her coffee, setting the empty glass down on the bench. "Right. And I can help you with the family stuff. I'm sure Rach and Zoe can help out any way they can too. As soon as I break the news anyway..."
I let out a deep breath, trying to relax. "Okay, you're the expert when it comes to this sort of thing...what's the best way to go now? What did you do after you lost your gentleman's luggage?"
"Throw myself off a pier?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Still not helping."
"Fuck, okay." She sighed. "I dunno...I mean, it was really hard because I had no idea what the hell was going on. At least you get the benefit of knowing there's a deranged entity stalking us."
"How exactly is that a benefit?"
"Shut up."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"I know!" She glared at me. "Geez...you know the answer to that anyway. You told me to suck it up and deal, so I did. We bought some clothes and girly junk, enrolled me at Delacroix High, and got on with our lives."
I groaned softly. Suddenly the thought of being back at high school wasn't nearly as attractive as I'd imagined it. "So I should take my own advice?"
"Unless you want everyone to think you're a high school dropout. That should look good on your resume when you're applying for a job."
"Craaaaap." I muttered helplessly.
"Relax." She chided, slipping an arm around my shoulder. "It's much worse than you think."
---------------------------------------------
To be fair, Faye actually did ask me several times if I wanted to go through with this. But how could I say no? Every story I've ever read talks about lavish shopping trips, visits to the salon, and generally making being a girl the most self-indulgent, luxurious experience imaginable. Of course, I'm not an idiot...I didn't expect reality to match the fantasy of a thousand barely literate internet authors, but still...I wanted to make the most of it. A girl can dream, right?
But as we pulled up outside the Delacroix mall, I felt my chest flutter as the reality of the situation began to set in. Could I really do this? Faye said we were just going to pick up a few essentials, enough to get me through the week so I could look for a job and enrol at Delacroix High (that is, if they'd even take a new student this late in the semester). But the mall just seemed so...daunting all of a sudden. My diminished stature meant everything seemed just a little bigger than it used to be. Maybe it was starting to get to me?
Walking towards the towering monument to capitalism, I felt like...I had some kind of unspoken bond with Faye all of a sudden. Like we were girls, but only to the rest of the world. We'd been through something that barely anyone on earth even knew about, let alone could have experienced for themselves. It was empowering in a way, like we were in a secret club together.
Of course, that didn't change the fact that pretty much every guy in the mall with two legs and a heartbeat was staring at us like a piece of meat. Well, maybe Faye more than me...she'd decided to try and fly the "Super-Ultra-Mega-Secret-Special-Awesome" girl flag as a show of solidarity with me. Maybe she thought that if she looked really feminine, I might feel more masculine by comparison? Regardless, her outfit was certainly attracting attention: Leather halter top with purple stitching, black pleated skirt with not one, but two belts, silk stockings, and matching knee high boots. And just to reeeeeally twist the knife, you could see the top of her thong peeking out from the skirts hemline. In short? She was punk-goth-eye-candy.
"Seriously, did you have to dress like that?" I muttered, noticing all the wandering eyes moving in our direction. "I feel...weird with all the attention."
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." She said, smiling tightly. "Besides, after you get used to it, the attention is kinda nice."
"How do you figure that?"
She gave me a knowing look. "That's kind of the cool thing about having been a guy: You know what it's like when you see a hot chick strutting around like she owns the place. You know she's just doing it to be a tease. She definitely knows it's because she's being a tease. But all the guys play the game anyway, because they know it's the only way they'll ever have a chance of getting into her pants."
I narrowed my eyes. "It's disturbing how you use knowledge of being a guy against your own kind."
She smiled, like an enlightened sage might to a new student. "You'll enjoy doing it too, once you get the hang of it."
Somehow, it didn't feel like my envy for Faye and her command of femininity had abated despite my own crossing of the gender lines.
We moved through the crowds, nimbly slipping between clusters of patrons as we approached the fashion wing of the mall. I tried to switch subjects, lest I give myself away with the current line of conversation. "Ooookay, so what else have you learned about being a girl that you can tell me works on guys?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno....don't ever tell a guy what you really do when he asks how you spend your free time."
"Why not?"
Faye rolled her eyes. "Well, I can't tell some guy I've just met that I like to choreograph naked cheerleading routines, search the web for hentai, then Google all my old girlfriends, masturbate and don't wash my hands, before playing video games and screaming at some fourteen year old basement virgin that he just lost to a girl at Street Fighter."
I stared at her blankly. "So...what do you tell them?"
"That I like hiking."
I was so caught up trying to picture that chestnut of advice that I almost forgot to respond. "Uh-huh...sure explains why you keep locking your bedroom door when it sounds like you're moving the furniture."
A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "Explains the cheerleading or masturbation?"
"You tell me."
"I'd rather maintain a certain air of mystique."
"A little late for that, isn't it?"
She gave me a playful shove with her elbow. "Ugh, even as a girl you're still a perv."
Delacroix mall was laid out with very distinct areas. You had one area for the food court, another for department stores like Walmart and Target. There was the obligatory food court, but as we strode into the fashion row, I was struck by an odd thought: I've walked through this area a hundred times (largely because it was the quickest route from the south entrance to Gamestop) and never really stopped to look at any of the boutiques and stores. Why would I? Yeah, there were a couple of men's stores, but they were mostly for suits or hipsters. My fashion shopping consisted strictly of ordering ironic t-shirts online.
The rest of the stores were all women's apparel. It's funny, but I guess I just kinda tuned them all out like white noise. Why would I care? Better still, why would I even want to look? Checking them out would just be teasing myself, and I had no interest in that. But now, walking by store after store of luscious garments that were suddenly no longer off limits, I felt free....like I'd had a restraint lifted from my heart.
Someone once told me that guilt is like a bag of bricks. All you have to do is set it down.
"So what's first on the agenda?" I asked hopefully, trying not to explode with pure, untainted joy.
Faye paused, standing beside a planter with a palm tree rooted in it, stretching all the way up to the glass ceiling above us. "We don't have a whole ton of money...most we can afford to spend is a couple of hundred."
"No trips to Victoria's Secret, huh?"
"Not unless you want to be wearing a bra, panties and not much else." She scoffed.
I felt my shoulders slump a little "Okay, that's not an option."
A rueful tone crept into her voice. "At least you can buy something that fits. I'm a little outside their target audience when it comes to bra sizes."
"And you're upset about that?" I asked thoughtfully.
"Fuck yes!" She exclaimed. "I went from being a guy who was too tall to buy anything normal to a girl with tits too big for anything normal. I can't win."
"How can you model clothes if nothing fits your chest?"
Faye shrugged. "It's not that nothing fits. Jesus, I'm not Juggasuarus-Fucking-Rex. It's just that the assholes who run the company decide to cater to a very select market of girls like you, and it pisses me off."
"Noted." I muttered, suddenly wishing I'd never asked. "So what's the plan?"
A sigh hissed out between her teeth, indicating she was still frustrated. "We can pick you up some underwear, since that stuff needs to be fitted properly or it'll make your spine explode. We grab anything else we can, then swing by the studio and see if Elise has any product lying around that nobody's picked up for a while."
"So..." I gave her a hesitant look. "...I'm getting hand-me-downs?"
"Designer hand-me-downs, so quit complaining."
I unconsciously slipped my thumb against the ring on my left index finger. The pink gemstone it was carved from seemed to tingle lightly, as if appreciating my curious touch. "Okay, point taken. So underwear first, huh?"
"Yeah, but don't make it weird." Faye said, pointing towards a discount fashion outlet. "We don't need a shop assistant to help or anything. We just go in, buy your stuff and get out."
I groaned, rolling my eyes. "I'm not gonna make it weird!"
She shot me a deadpan look. "This morning you wouldn't let me see your naked body until you saw mine."
"......" I held her gaze, contemplating what she said. ".....good point."
We stepped into the store, and I could feel my body positively ripple in delight at the sight of all the feminine garments that were suddenly no longer off limits. I could wear them. Hell, I could probably wear them and look good. It's such a simple idea, but until now I had dismissed it as impossible before I'd even given it any consideration.
Faye strode towards the back of the store, where my eyes lit up upon seeing row after row of satin bras and silken panties. Without so much as a word, she picked a tape measure off a stand, turned to me and said "Lift up your arms."
"Uh, shouldn't we wait till I get into the change rooms before you take my top off?"
"Moron..." She muttered, slipping the tape measure over the top of my chest. "...I'm measuring your bra size. You're pretty small, so we shouldn't have much trouble finding one."
I shivered lightly as the tape rubbed my newfound cleavage through the flimsy fabric of my shirt. "Oh...I knew that."
"It's simple, listen..." She held the tape around my chest, just above the bust. "...this is your band size."
I didn't even have time to make comment before she expertly adjusted the tape so it was pressed across my nipples. A squeak slipped out of my lips as she drew it tight. "...and this is your bust size."
"Lessee..." She said, studying the tape measure for a moment. "...subtract the band size from the measurement, and we get your cup size."
"Can I lower my arms yet?" I asked impatiently.
"Sure." She studied the tape measure, doing basic arithmetic in her head. "Okay, looks like you're a 30B, granting you the title of Perky Princess, and a membership to the itty-bitty-titty-committee."
"Fuck you." I hissed petulantly.
"What?" She asked innocently, putting down the tape measure. "I thought you'd be happy. You might be a girl, but at least you're kind of a tomboy."
"Maybe..." I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should hint at my true intentions. "...what if I want to be a girl like you?"
Rather than catching on to what I was alluding, she gave me a playful shove. "If that's the case, then we've got a big day ahead of us."
Chapter one:
Life has a flavour to it, at least I like to think so. Psychologists call it "Neuro-associative-conditioning" which tells you absolutely nothing about anything. The gist of it is that as human beings, we experience reality subjectively. And when we experience that reality, we instinctively attach emotions to the experience.
Lemme give you an example: If I jumped on a skateboard and rolled around aimlessly, I might totally love skateboards from that point onward. If I jumped on the same skateboard and split my skull open, I'd probably develop some kind of phobia toward unsecured vehicular urban transport. It's the same principal.
A long time ago...I think I was happy. Not in the sense of a tampon commercial where girls run giddy through a field of flowers. I just mean...y'know, happy. Like in a "God's in his heaven, all's right with the world" kind of way. Life just made sense to me. I could wake up in the morning and feel like I belonged to something bigger than myself. That I wasn't out of place. Whole and complete.
I couldn't tell you when that started to change. Sometimes things in life happen so slowly you don't even notice. Some people call it "death by a thousand cuts". At first, I kinda liked being different to everyone else. It made me feel like an individual, like I was special. I put up a front to hide who I really was to the rest of the world, showing people what I thought they wanted to see of me. But as time passed, I found myself putting up that front more and more. It engulfed me, the front casting a shadow over everything else. The yearnings within me grew more incessant, crying out to be fed with something I could never give them. The emptiness grew day by day. Ever longer, ever deeper.
Bottomless.
Then before you even realize it, you're alone. Angry at the world, weary of being pelted by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Bitter and jaded, the darkness is all you have left. It's what defines you now, a pillar of your identity. To challenge it seems unthinkable, because that would tug at the seams of who you are as a person. So every day you wear your mask, and every day the shadows behind it grow just a little darker. It's an endless cycle from which you can't escape: An ouroborous of self-loathing and disgust. It's no surprise so many transgendered individuals end their lives the way I did.
But I found a way out, didn't I? What seemed impossible became a reality, and I'd been given the one thing the yawing hunger within me craved most: Femineity, pure and radiant. Perfect in every way. Down to every cell and atom, written into every silken strand of DNA.
Strands of blond hair wrapped about my neck, carried by a wind that howled faintly between the buildings below. Everything around me was bathed in a luminescent hue of blue and white, radiated from an enormous neon sign that was erected behind me reading "Crazy Apple."
Delacroix wasn't a big town by anyone's estimate. But it's large enough that it has it's fair share of towers and offices. The Crazy Apple billboard rested atop a five story business complex, roof access provided if you could play Tetris with a few trash cans to access a fire escape. I used to come here to think if I had a big exam coming up, or if Faye had Zoe and Rachael around for movie night. If you sit in just the right spot, you can see from the city centre all the way to the ocean. On a night like this, waves sparkle in the moonlight like a sea of jewels.
So why wasn't I happy?
I should be thrilled. Jubilant and irrepressible, heart soaring with boundless wonder and energy. But there was something missing, I couldn't put my finger on it...like the flavour was all wrong. How could that be? I'd done everything right, and had everything I'd ever wanted. But it still wasn't enough? That's not fair! What the hell else could I do to get back to where I was happ-
The phone in my pocket squeaked with a dubstep ringtone, snapping me out of my reverie. Scrunching up my nose in frustration, I plucked it free and tapped the screen. Faye's number? Great. Girl never could take a hint when I needed a little time to myself. Or she didn't care.
"What is it?" I asked, making no attempt to hide the undercurrent of irritation in my voice.
"Hey cranky-pants." Her voice sounded muffled, like she was speaking too close to the mouthpiece. "We're going to a party tonight up in the hills. Super exclusive invitation stuff, completely illegal. You're gonna love it."
It felt as though someone was twisting a knife in my stomach. I came up here to be alone with my thoughts. Alone: The opposite of being with people. "Not a chance, Faye. I thought you'd get the hint that this was private time for me."
There was noise in the background, difficult to discern. Like a low hum, rising and falling. And was someone else talking? "Obviously. But you've been getting progressively mopier since we went shopping. I told you life in panties is not a death sentence."
"So? I would have thought it was pretty obvious that I've got a lot of problems to work through. Least of which being I'm in the wrong fucking gender!"
Despite my growing frustration, she seemed unperturbed. "C'mon, you need to stop focusing on everything that's bad and take a little time to enjoy yourself. Blow off some steam. This could be a good thing for you, just give it a chance."
"Good luck finding me." I snorted. "Wait a sec...you're in your car, aren't you?"
"Yeeeeep. Handsfree is busted, so I'm multitasking here."
I narrowed my eyes. "You stuck the phone in your cleavage and set it to speaker, didn't you?"
"I can turn on video chat if that will change your mind."
Interface: Palm to face. "No, all I want right now is some space, alright? I promise I'll be fine, I just need time."
"What if I pick you up right now?"
"You don't even know where I am. You can drive around town all night if you want, but you're not gonna find me."
"Lemme take a stab in the dark." She paused, and I heard the voice again. Was it giving directions? "Two fifty, fifty second street?"
"What?" I balked, shocked that she knew. "How the fuck-"
"Your phone has a GPS locator in it. All I had to do was link it to mine."
No. Fucking. Way. "You broke into my account?"
"Hey, I've seen the movie Hackers. I know how this stuff works." She chided.
A pair of headlights lit the way as a white Lancer Evo, pinnacle of the Japanese rice rockets, pulled into the alleyway below. Sometimes her audacity shocked even me.
"Where are yo- oh, never mind. That's a long way up."
"Yeah." I muttered darkly. "I like it for the solitude."
"So you gonna come down, or are you going to make me come up and get you?"
I hung up, not bothering to respond. Regardless of wether I told her to get lost or not, my little piece of private time had been well and truly destroyed. I stepped off the walkway and grabbed hold of the stepladder leading off the roof. I swung my legs about and slid down the handrails, quickly moving from one level to the next. I'd never been slow as a guy, but becoming a teenage girl who was 5'5" and weighed next to nothing? Flexibility and speed took on a whole new meaning. It was the kind of thrill parkour runners must get: effortlessly flowing from one obstacle to the next, moving like water, never losing momentum as I flew between the levels, landing neatly on the very same dumpster I'd used to ascend the fire escape.
"Holy shit dude!" Faye looked at me with genuine surprise as I climbed into the passenger seat. "Fuck cheerleaders, you should try out for the track team."
"I never said I wanted to be a cheerleader." No, that would be fantastic and amazing.
"Right, sorry. My bad." I settled into the bucket seat, pulling the seatbelt into it's clasp. She was wearing a tight printed tee with a scooping neckline deep enough to reveal a valley of cleavage to anyone with functional eyeballs and a heartbeat. The ensemble was completed with a back micro-mini with a zipper running up it's side, the black Chuck's that seemed to be glued to her feet every day, and a large printed baseball cap.
"Look, I know you're pissed that I came out here. But this is for your own good." She put the car into gear, slowly moving back to the main street. "You need something to take your mind off what has happened. Focus on something else for a change, y'know?"
"You hacked my phone." I hissed between clenched teeth.
"Puh-lease. Your password was Mitnick? Ex-geek here, remember?"
"Achievement unlocked: I'm still mad at you."
"And I'm sure you will be until I get you drunk enough to forget how you even got to the party." She looked over her shoulder, merging lanes with the traffic. "That might be quicker than you expect, by the way."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Moping around, dreaming that you're a guy sure won't." She smiled. "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
I let out a frustrated sigh. This was happening all wrong, dammit: I didn't get to be the kind of girl that I always dreamt about. To make things worse, going out shopping turned out to be the most mundane experience I could have possibility imagined. Faye was so concerned about protecting my "fragile mental state" that it was over and done with before I even knew it, the whole ordeal reduced to quickly scouring the women's section of a few boutiques and a freaking K-Mart. On top of all that, I have to deal with...whatever deal I've struck with a psychotic entity that wants to eat my soul? Fuck! It's not supposed to be like this! I mean it...it's just not! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS! ITS NOT SUPPOSEDTOBELIKETHISITSNO-
"You've gone quiet. Something the matter?" Faye glanced at me with a look of concern.
"It's nothing." I muttered tersely. "Just drive."
---------------------------------------------
The party as it turned out, was nothing like what I had expected. I was always invited to parties that pretty much fell into the same category: Someone decides to throw a party...and that's it. People show up with the cheapest booze they can afford, get completely wasted, light a few joints and wake up shivering in a pool of their own vomit. And if you got lucky, you might wake up sharing that vomit with someone else.
Point is, it wasn't complicated. Or illegal. This party was neither of those things.
Here's how it works: Someone scouts a suitable location, which can be anything: Rural property. Townhouse. Penthouse. You name it. The only thing they have in common is the owner is out of town.
Next step is the social media call goes out: Cash up front, deposited into PayPal account. That buys you a call back with the details. You need those details because two hours later the page has gone down before cops catch the scent. Last step is another call going out three hours before the event. Even if the police do catch wind of it, the same call can be used to shut things down before anyone can show up.
It's elegant, simplistic, and impossible for anyone to stop.
At least, I'm sure that's what will be told to the owners of the opulent five-bedroom, two story dwelling located in Delacroix's newest housing estate for successful families and young professionals. What was meant to be a comfortable escape from the drudgery of life for the biggest fish our town could offer, failed on a single fundamental level: Before completing any houses and allowing the families to move in, one should hire security and order gates for the estate.
From the back seat of the car, I could only poke my head out occasionally to see the skeletal framework of a house rising from the ground like the corpse of some prehistoric beast. I was contorting myself in the narrow confines, struggling to remove my current ensemble. Evidently she'd anticipated my impending fashion faux par and decided that jeans and a hoodie didn't make for appropriate party-girl material, and packed me a new getup to compensate.
Stripped down to the my plain black panties and bra, I picked through the backpack she'd prepared and felt my earlier darkness and despair begin to slip away. Inside were clothes...but nice clothes! She'd given me a few different options, along with a makeup bag and a few other feminine essentials. My heart fluttered, hands trembling as I reached inside. "You bought these for me?"
She grinned. "Those are Rach's. I swung by her place before coming to rescue you from your little pity-party. You two are a similar size."
"How come she's not joining us?" I said as I greedily plucked a tube dress out of the bag. "You two are usually inseparable."
"I dunno, she's been more focused on her grades since this is senior year. Probably saw how her mom was a trophy wife who sold pottery at Sunday markets and realized it was her future."
"Her loss." I looked at the dress for a moment, wondering just how the hell I'd put it on. Was I supposed to step into it or pull it over my head? Deciding that trying to get the top over my hips might prove a logistical issue, I opted for the former and wriggled it over my head. I wasn't really sure if I'd made the right choice, but I managed to get it into place with a minimum of tugging and squirming. By the time I was done, the hemline sat a little high up my thighs...or maybe it was just tighter then I expected. Either way, the garment felt...heavenly. It was all I could do not to let out a squeal of happiness.
Faye craned her neck back for a moment, daring to get a look at my handiwork as she drove. "Not bad. You're gonna have to lose the bra though."
"Really?" I furrowed my brow. "Wouldn't that make me look kinda slutty?"
"You don't wear a tube dress not to get attention. Besides, your boobs are small enough that it shouldn't make a difference."
"Unlike others present?"
"Shut up." She flashed me a smile. "Come on, you're gonna look hot. And nothing raises your spirits like watching drunk dudes fall over each other to impress you."
I arched my back, trying to find a way to remove the bra without exposing my breasts at the same time. Faye was watching the road, but I had a feeling she wouldn't miss an opportunity to catch an eyeful and crash the car. "Feeling a little sadistic this evening?"
"You can kill a man once, but you can break him many times." The car came to a halt as she cut the engine. "C'mon Cinderella. We've made it to the ball."
Party? This was a support act for the apocalypse. Cars were parked everywhere up and down the street, over front lawns and molesting garden beds. People flowed into the party house like the growing tide. Dubstep and breakbeats permeated the air for a mile in every direction, if you could hear it over the cacophony of human cries and cheers. Windows were broken, lawn ornaments trashed, and I'm pretty sure I heard someone mention the toilet was on fire.
Faye took a moment to straighten up my appearance, adding some clips to my hair before throwing on some makeup that she skilfully applied despite the low light. Once she was done, she took a step back and gave me room to breathe. "How do you feel?"
"Like I'm half naked. Oh, and my lips taste like cherries."
"Then we're set." She took my hand, leading me up the driveway. "You got your phone with you?"
"Uh no..." I patted myself down through the thin cotton. "...I didn't think this dress came equipped with pockets."
"Right, my bad." She paused for a moment. "Tell you what. If we get separated, meet back at the car in three hours?"
That would make it around one am. I shrugged, figuring that it sounded like a plan. "Sure."
"So what are we gonna call you?" She asked as we passed the front gate, bedlam surrounding the house growing more visible with every passing moment.
"What? Nick works as a girls name." I did my best to sound indignant. "It's just short for Nicole."
"Yeah, and it's boring as hell. May as well skip to calling you Esther."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. How about Nicola?"
"You're a girl Nick, not a KGB spy."
"I don't hear any suggestions coming from you."
Faye paused, letting an idea roll about in her thoughts. "Nikki?"
"Could you pick a name that sounds more white-trash?"
She shot me an impish look. "That's why it suits you."
"I swear to god I will kill you, Faye. I'll start with the fingernails and peel you like an onion."
"N-i-k-k-i" She chanted, adding a skip to her step.
"Nikki?" I turned my head to see a kid, no more than seventeen or so...which I guess made us the same age....break off from his friends and quickly move to intercept. "Is that your name? I'm Josh."
Oh great. I wanted to be a girl so I could distance myself from the XY portion of the species, not encourage their congregation.
"Get lost, meatbag." The words left my mouth before I had a chance to contemplate their existence.
Poor guy was too shocked to respond, instead letting us walk unhindered on a stone path leading to the front door. "Holy shit. What was that about?"
"I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed."
Faye shrugged her shoulders. "Just saying. If that's the only time you get hit on tonight, you'll be lucky."
Inside, the party was wild enough to make Caligula blush: The wine cellar had been located and summarily looted, spoils of fine liquor and aged spirits were being thrown away like candy between the underaged patrons. Everywhere you looked there was barely room to move between the teenagers making out, thrashing to the wild beats, or simply destroying belongings of the unlucky home owners.
"It's not a party until something gets broken, right?" Faye offered helpfully.
"So you always say."
Okay, chill. I can do this. We're just a couple of girls out having a good time. The fact that I've loathed any kind of public gathering and chosen to insolate myself from reality as a gamer-geek should have no impact now, right? A red cup was thrust into my hand by an excited reveller, who offered Faye the same courtesy a moment later. As he dove back into the crowd, I looked at Faye with a hint of uncertainty. "I'm in way over my head, aren't I?"
She threw me a lopsided grin. "Welcome to my world, princess."
---------------------------------------------
"Y'know, I'm starting to reconsider this whole teenage-girl-thing." I slurred slightly, finding that for future reference, it took at least three drinks to loosen my tongue. Four to really start flying. "I mean, I figured it's be a blast considering how much fun you've had with it. New friends, new life. The whole modelling thing. But teenagers are just so....fucking annoying, y'know? I mean, present company excluded...they think they know everything, they're fucking noisy, horny, confused, angsty...and this party completely proves my point. I've only been here for what...two hours? And I've already seen three fistfights, a beer pyramid both constructed and demolished, and a jar of grandmas ashes used as a football.
Faye looked at me, her expression one of pure bewilderment. "What?"
I shook my head, determined to say what I had to say. "Listen Faye, I'm sorry, okay? This...all of it is my fault. I wanted Lust to save me, okay? I was jealous of you...I was sick of pretending to be a man when I hated it. I wanted to be a girl, okay? Okay? Are you even listening?"
It was only when the purple haired girl stood up and proceeded to pretend the last five minutes of her life never transpired, that I realized it wasn't Faye I'd been speaking to at all. Which begged the question of where exactly Faye had gone.
I stood up, stumbling slightly as I fought to keep the world from spinning. I was talking to her only a few minutes ago by the staircase...or at least I think I was. Maybe she's back there?
I made my way through the forest of human flesh, squeezing between trunks of adolescent boys and girls as I struggled to make my way to the landing area. Halfway there, a sensation hit me like a bucket of cold water. For an instant, I thought I was going to throw up, but I quickly realized it was something else...like a resonance? Kinda like when you try to force two ends of magnet together that are both positively charged...the same, but totally not supposed to be together either.
"The prodigal daughter returns? I'll lay low, you two have fun now..." A voice mewed softly in my ear.
I spun about, looking for who might have snuck up on me...but I couldn't spot anyone likely to be an offender, beyond one or two guys who had that I-wasn't-staring-down-your-top-a-second-ago look on their faces. Instead my eyes came to rest on a girl halfway up the staircase, who seemed to be surveying the party for reasons similar to my own.
Bobbie was tall, leggy, curvy in all the right places and blessed with platinum hair so pure you'd swear each strand was forged from freshly driven snow. Her eyes were pools of sweet blue that seemed a little too large for her face, but only served to heighten the sense of purity and innocence about her. Faye could have gotten her a job modelling in a heartbeat, but she seemed far more content working at the local bakery, churning out cupcakes that were the closest thing to sex science and baking could manufacture.
Well, that and a sex tape kinda destroyed her reputation around town. Forgot to mention that.
What's awkward is that I know Bobbie personally. Hell, she moved in with Faye and I when her mom tossed her out of house and home. I designed logos for her band and bakery. But there's no chance under God's hot sun that she'd recognise me the way I am now. And I wasn't about to tell her either, since I couldn't possibly imagine a single reason that would help anyone right now.
In fact, it was quickly becoming obvious that the best thing I could do right now would be to ignore her and pretend I hadn't spent the last several seconds gawking at her like a brain donor. I turned about, trying to exit the way I came when I found myself accosted by a guy in his early twenties, wearing a t-shirt that read "Tree fell in the forest and nobody was around to hear it. I bought the soundtrack." sporting a moustache so styled with wax my first thought was to light it at both ends.
"Some party, huh?" He offered thoughtfully. "You know, you're the prettiest girl here."
Holy shit. Lust, are you listening? I want to be a guy again. Please. I'll punch nuns in the face for you. I'll suck the blood from a wounded puppy.
I was trying to think of a way to extract myself from the situation that didn't involve complete hysterics, when I felt a hand slide around my waist as another presence encroached on my personal space. Jerking my head to the side, I was filled with a sense of confusion and relief as I realized it was Bobbie, clearly deciding to take the cockblocking duties upon herself.
"There you are." She smiled at me, blue eyes drawing in my gaze. For an instant I thought she was going to kiss me, but El-Hipster-Magnifico seemed to have already leapt to that assumption well ahead of me.
"Fucking lesbians. Unbelievable..." He muttered, disappearing into the crowd in search of fresh meat.
"That was...impressive." I said softly, staring into the distance where he'd vanished.
"I've had practice." She smiled warmly. "Besides, something told me you could use the help."
I turned my attention to the platinum goddess at my side. Last I saw her she was several inches shorter than me. Now she was easily taller.
"Uh, yeah. Thanks. It's nice to meet you." I said sheepishly, trying to feign ignorance.
"Bobbie." She offered.
My mind reeled, struggling to think of a suitable name to offer in return. Sadly in my inebriated state, I settled on the option I was trying specifically to avoid.
"Nikki! Uh...my name's Nikki," I cringed inwardly, reminding myself to find Faye and murder her as hard as I could.
She bit her lip, looking as if she was trying to see something in me which had vanished right before her eyes. A moment later she seemed to abandon the notion, opting to resort to banal chit-chat instead. "Fun night, huh?"
I groaned softly. No, tonight so far had been the opposite of fun. It was a hailstone in the shitstorm that was threatening to shred every fantasy I'd ever entertained of what life as a girl was like.
"Yeah, time of my life."
Bobbie looked about as she spoke. A ripple of interest had spread through the crowd. It was small at first, but seemed to be building momentum as people began to migrate toward the living room. "I usually bring cupcakes to this kind of thing."
I gave her a dubious look. "You bring cupcakes to house parties?"
"Yeah, free samples and stuff. I work at a bakery." Her response seemed well practiced, like it wasn't the first time she'd been asked that question. "But something tells me it wouldn't make much difference here anyway."
"Makes sense." I nodded. "They'd probably be used as some kind of assault weapon before anyone thought about eating them."
The crowds interest seemed to intensify as more people began filtering towards mysterious event, eager to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Bobbie gave me a confused look, obviously thinking the same thing that I was. "Do you know what's happening?"
"Probably another fight or something." Still, we began to move with the crowd, deciding it was best not to be left out of whatever was going down. Making our was over was a struggle, and as we approached several cheers went up from the growing audience. Someone twisted the dial all the way to eleven as the air hummed with a raunchy, undulating hip hop beat. Bobbie shot me a wary look as I stood up on my toes, finally catching a glimpse of what all the commotion was about.
Standing atop a table, surrounded by what seemed like a hundred leering fans, Faye was dancing for the crowd. Actually now that I think about it, dancing wasn't the word for it: She was grinding, rolling and teasing the fixated onlookers. Her every sublime curve oozed sensuality and forbidden pleasures, every move whispering the promise of a one-fuck-fantasy. She was trouble. The kind of trouble you -wanted-. Hands traced the swell of her ample breasts, arching her back as she thrust them out provocatively. At the same time she rolled her hips, Kanji tattoo on the small of her back glowing faintly even as a sea of heads craned to get a peek at what was hidden beneath her skirt.
It was art. Sexuality made flesh. And judging from how the drunk, horny guys in the audience were having their restraint worn away with every passing moment, there was absolutely no way it was going to end well for her.
I stared at Bobbie in horror, realizing she was quickly reaching the very same conclusion.
"We've gotta do something....right now."
Chapter two:
"I own this house, everything here is free to take!"
Nobody in their right mind could possibly be expected to believe the outlandish statement that spouted forth from my lips. No way should I get anything but a sea of empty faces in response to my blatant and obvious deception. That being the case, thank fuck for the fact that drunk teenagers didn't give a shit wether anything that I said had a single grain of truth to it or not.
They didn't want truth. They just needed a distraction and an excuse.
Any attention that may have been lavished upon my busty housemate vanished in a roar of excitement and chaos. In a heartbeat, the crowd that had been focused on Faye turned around and began to set upon anything that wasn't nailed to the floor. Hell, by the time I actually had a moment to even register Bobbie's look of shock and utter despair, I was pretty sure copper piping was being torn from the walls.
Of course, my wonderfully masterful plan, one that I had executed like a well-played game of chess, had a small flaw: We were trapped in the chaos with no visible way out.
Hundreds of people were screaming, fighting, smashing, throwing, grabbing and tearing objects, valuables and each other.
"Okay, new plan!" I shouted over the cacophony of destruction and upheaval. "We get the hell out of here!"
I couldn't hear what she said in response, but I could tell from the look on her face she agreed with me. There wasn't time to grab Faye...in fact, looking back to where she'd been dancing only moments ago, the table had vanished. I couldn't see it or Faye, but I was able to draw a correlation between the missing table and the cavernous hole that was once occupied by the kitchen window.
This was starting to get dangerous. Like, actually going-to-get-trodden-to-death dangerous. Doors and regular exits were out of the question: Blocked by as many people trying to get in as those trying to fight their way out. Spying the staircase, I realized the only way out was through.
"C'mon, we need to get upstairs and g-" My sentence was cut short by someone's head being jammed into my field of view, complete with a pair of lips pressed against mine. My body convulsed, fighting against the hands that slid around my waist as I pushed at what I assumed were the assailants shoulders. But they were too strong, breath reeking of alcohol and god knows what else as they held the embrace for several seconds.
When the figure finally withdrew, I made out the features of a kid, probably seventeen or eighteen with a mop of shaggy blonde hair, shit-eating grin plastered across his handsome features. He looked at me for a moment, eyes locked with mine...before he simply screamed jubilantly, thrusting arms into the air in celebration as he dove into the crowd in search of another victim.
That....fuck. That senseless, selfish, drunken asshole...he stole it from me. The one thing I'd been looking forward to more than anything else. That simple, little romantic notion that I had wanted to savour more than anything else since I'd become a girl.
He stole my first kiss.
I don't even know what happened next. I felt someone take my hand...it could have been Bobbie, or Faye....or that cock-gargling thunderfuck who'd just taken whatever semblance of innocence I had left. I was being pulled through the crowd, up stairs, into bedrooms, and out the window....onto a rooftop that overlooked the front yard and the streets beyond. My shoes clattered across ceramic roof tiles, causing me to fight for balance against the slope.
"Wha...the roof?" I was still incoherent, given my drunken and confused state.
"Seemed like the only opinion." Bobbie smoothed out her clothes, tucking her knees into her chest as she sat down. "Fighting our way out wasn't really an option."
"But...Faye's still in there." I paused for an instant, a little unsure of myself. "I think."
"Oh come on, she's got rocks in her head and lead in her ass. She'll be fine." She shot me a mischievous grin.
"Yeah, I guess." I took a seat beside her, watching looters stream into the street, even as more arrived to replace them. Was she okay? God I hoped so. As a guy, Kane had never been particularly remarkable. But as a girl, Faye was possessed by a determination and resolve that you rarely ever get to see in a person. If Faye was dunked into a tank of phosphoric acid, the acid would learn to its horror, that it could be stabbed.
Bobbie leant against the window we'd exited through. "I figure we just wait it out for a while and see what happens. People will get bored eventually, or the cops will show up."
"Why'd you help me back there?" I looked at her wearily, energy drained from stress and anxiety. "You barely even know me."
She smiled warmly. "That's what I do. I help people....it's in my nature, I guess."
"Fits your look." I muttered, noting her angelic mystique.
"So how do you know Faye, anyway?"
"Oh, friend of the family, y'know?" I said without a second thought, shocking even myself with how easy lying was starting to become. "I'm staying with her for a while."
People were starting to flow out into the streets now, clutching whatever worldly possessions they dared to carry. Contrary to Bobbie's earlier assertion, the mobs thirst for mayhem seemed only to be building, the sound of broken glass ringing out as someone started to ransack a nearby car. Jesus, what had I started here?
"Guess I was wrong about the crowd." She said, peering as far over the roof as she dared without getting spotted.
"What was your first clue?"
"Like I said, cops should be here soon." She said with a distinctly unimpressed air, surveying the carnage. "So much aggression..."
"Yeah, on second thought, my brilliant plan may have needed a little extra consideration." I said grimly. "I hope these guys are insured."
As if to serve as an exclamation point to my statement, there was a loud crash from behind us as someone physically kicked in the door to the bedroom that had been resting slightly ajar. That wouldn't come as so much of a surprise given that the house was being torn apart as we spoke, except for what I heard play out in the room beyond us.
"Eat a dick, you inbred fuck." Faye spat. "Eat all the dicks."
There was the sound of a scuffle, followed by a male voice I didn't recognize. "Aww baby, don't be like that. I just wanna have some fun with you."
Bobbie and I stared wide-eyed at each other, our profile hidden just below the windowsills. Holy sh...was this for real?
"I swear to god, if you touch me again you'll pull back a stump!"
Oh no. Not good....not good at all.
"Just gimme a chance, I swear you're not gonna regret it." The phantom voice said without a hint of irony.
Bobbie knew what I was going to do before I even did it. She held my hand, shaking her head silently. She was probably right...the smart play would be to go and get help. Find a neighbour. Scream. Find a weapon. Summon Voltron. Fuck, anything would be better than my plan.
Of course, my plan was that of the old Nick: The protective big brother. The guy who knew his way around a few drunken fistfights. The guy who wasn't a tiny blonde teenager who couldn't fight off a stiff breeze.
I turned and stood up, pulling myself free of Bobbie's grasp. Before I even knew what I was doing, I'd leapt over the window ledge, roaring with fury as I sprinted toward Faye and her assai-
Shit. There's three of them.
To be exact, there was the ringleader holding onto Faye tightly, one who was watching the door to make sure nobody interrupted the fun, and one who apparently appreciated the fine art of voyeurism. The posse of meatheads looked like they belonged to the football team, judging by their bulky physiques and assorted popped collars.
"Whoa, now this is more like it." The voyeur said as I quickly skidded to a halt. "I didn't know it was audience participation night."
I started to back away slowly, but there was nowhere to go: Rushing for the door would only get me caught by the lookout, and jumping out the window would give away Bobbie's hiding spot. Somewhere deep in the most primal part of my brain, flight-or-flight kicked in, forcing me to make an impossible choice: Save myself to no avail, or fight and get destroyed by an enemy who outnumbered and outgunned me.
So I figured...fuck it. I already died once. I can't die twice, right?
Faye thrashed against her captor to no avail, who had her pinned against him, one arm about her waist and forearm holding her by the throat. I quickly evaluated my options: I was faster now, I knew that. And surprise was going to be my only advantage in a fight where the odds weighed so heavily against me. The irony of all this was I'd read a thousand TG stories where the heroine found herself in a similar situation. She always does the same thing: Goes straight for the balls.
Why? It's a pretty obvious plot device. She gets to be empowered and rise above any obviously physical disadvantage, while exploiting a weakness of a gender she no longer possesses. But when you think about it in real life, there's a pretty big problem with that theory: It's easily the hardest part of the body to hit. I mean think about it: You're talking about trying to cleanly hit a couple of walnuts on a dude who has legs like tree trunks. Unless he's a Russian ballerina doing the splits, your chances of getting a clear shot are pretty fucking limited. Especially when he's expecting a confrontation.
Given that nutshots were off the table, I had exactly four seconds to think of a viable alternative before this asshole had me in the headlock-happyplace right next to Faye. That might present a problem for your regular girl. But I play videogames, son. And everyone knows that when faced with superior numbers, the first thing you do is look to your environment to get the upper hand.
The wooden chair beside the wardrobe had been serving as an impromptu drying rack before I enlisted it as a weapon of deadly force. I'd like to think the last thing that went through his head before the chair collided with it was "Chairs: My one weakness!"
But I guess we'll never know. Not until he wakes up, anyway.
The other two captors stared at me, utterly lost for words as I clutched the remains of the chair, which had broken apart from the impact of beating several decades of gender equality into the voyeurs skull. I let my eyes dart back and forth between the remaining two assailants, letting silence hang in the air before finally deciding to speak up.
"Anyone else want a shot at this?"
My answer came in the form of a 6'2", dangerously unhinged partygoer lunging at me in an attempt to avenge his fallen brother-in-sexual assault. My nerves were strung tighter than piano wire, riding a wave of adrenaline that forced my senses into overdrive. Casting the broken remains of my impromptu weapon aside, I braced myself for the impact: If I did this just right, I could turn his momentum against him, moving into a quick takedown. After that, it would just be Faye and I, two on one against the last dude. Pretty good odds in my book.
The deviant swung at me, just as I'd predicted with a messy haymaker. I raised my arms infront of me, crossed in an "X" motion for maximum defensive power...only to crumple beneath the force of the blow. My arms collapsed against my chest as I was driven back by the force of the attack, crying out in pain as I slammed against the wall behind me, knocking the wind from my lungs.
"Nikki!" Faye screamed, thrashing wildly against her captor before he struck her across the cheek.
"Shut the fuck up!" He roared, clearly having had enough of our little insurrection. "Open your mouth again, and I swear to god I'll break it."
Shit, shit, shit...I clutched the forearm which had absorbed the brunt of the impact, tears stinging my eyes as the second asshole grabbed my shoulder, pinning me to the wall. Fucking stupid...I...god dammit...as a guy I could have fought them off. I could have at least put up some kind of resistance. I could have done -something-. Instead my stupid quest for femininity had gifted me with a body that couldn't fight for shit. I'd sacrificed everything I'd taken for granted as a man, and been given nothing but misery and disappointment.
My assailant leered at me, firmly clutching my jaw, forcing me to meet his gaze. "Just play nice, okay? I promise I'll treat you like a princess."
Sure. Why not? Every time I figured life couldn't get any worse, someone shovelled shit in my face just to prove me wrong. I went limp, shoulders slumping as I resigned myself to whatever twisted fate this asshole had in store for me. Why fight? What was the point?
He moved in close, I could smell his breath as he kissed my neck, reeking of beer and cigarettes. As he hungrily sucked on the supple flesh of my nape, I shut my eyes tightly. Was this what Lust had in mind when she created me to be like this? Was I failure as a man and woman, something to be used and discarded for sexual gratification?
Just as I was preparing myself for what was to come, I felt his grip slowly relax, releasing me from his grasp as began to withdraw. Hesitantly opening my eyes, I caught a glint of steel flash just below his chin, as Bobbie wrapped around him like a snake, whispering in his ear. "You even think about touching her again, and I'll cut that mouth of yours to look like a Jack-o-lantern."
"Uh...just be cool, okay?" He said nervously, clearly realizing the gravity of his situation. "We were just having some fun."
"The fuck we were!" I spat contemptuously.
"Brad....little help?" He said in vain, realizing he was clearly outmanoeuvred.
"Brad's got problems of his own." A familiar figure strode purposefully into the room. I furrowed my brow, recognising him as the blonde-haired dude who'd kissed me in the hallway not that long ago. What the hell was he doing here? Not that it mattered: Given the situation, I wouldn't argue if Superman himself descended through the rooftop.
Faye was pinned to the bed beneath Brad, her shirt torn from his greedy need to paw at her breasts. She was shaking, though from fear or rage I couldn't tell. All that mattered was that Brad seemed to be wary of the new challenger, perhaps even fearful.
"What have I told you?" The new guy said, grabbing Brad by the shirt and hauling him off Faye, who in response gasped for breath, her assailants weight lifted from her as he was thrown against the wall. "You make one of us look bad, we all look bad."
Brad raised his hands defensively, trying to make the other relax. "Chase, have you looked around? It's fuckin' chaos. That little bitch started it with the dancing, nobody's gonna complain if she got what was commin' to her."
Chase didn't hesitate, cocking his arm before striking Brad in the jaw hard enough that he fell back against the wall once more, sliding to the ground.
"You stupid asshole." He paused long enough to spit contemptuously at Brad, who was now nursing his swelling jaw. "I'm going to help these two. You better not be here when I get back."
"...Fuck you." He murmured under his breath, unwilling to meet Chase's gaze.
Bobbie uncoiled herself enough from my attacker so that he was able to back away slowly, her knife never more than a hair's breadth from his throat until he nearly tumbled into the hallway. I let out the breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding, my whole body shuddering as adrenaline began withdraw from my bloodstream, leaving a gaping void in it's wake. Bobbie rushed to my side, her blade clattering to the ground.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly, sliding my arm around her shoulder, helping me to stand.
Emotion started to flow freely within me. Not rage, fear, uncertainty, or panic. Instead they all came at once, a torrent of raw, unbridled chaos that would not be contained. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I shook, every breath coming ragged and fast as I found myself completely overwhelmed. "That fucker....I'm gonna kill him..."
Bobbie stroked my hair gently, trying to console me. Calm me down. It wasn't working. The more I let the emotions flow, the more strongly they powered out. It was a ceaseless river that fed back into itself, growing stronger with every passing moment. I clenched my teeth together, tight enough that I could feel enamel grinding as my fingers curled into talons.
"GONNA...FUCKING...KILL HIM!"
Chase looked at Bobbie with obvious concern. "Can I do anything? I mean...is she gonna be okay?"
"She'll be okay. Just give us some time." Bobbie began to lead me towards the door. "We just need to get you home, right?"
I nodded wordlessly, unable to speak. Unable to think of anything. I was beyond any logic or reason, just pure animal instinct at this point.
"Okay." He nodded, content not to risk provoking the situation any further. "I'll just help your friend and we can get out of here."
Chase turned to help Faye, who he'd not been paying attention to until now. To his surprise, she had already removed herself from where she lay on the bed, and instead stood over Brad, looking down at him dispassionately.
Chase offered his hand to her. "C'mon, he's not gonna hurt you."
She didn't answer, didn't even move as she stared at the beaten rapist with cold, unfeeling eyes.
"Faye...?"
Brad didn't have time to react as she swung her boot viciously, connecting with his already bruised jaw. He howled in pain, a spray of blood filling the air as he recoiled from the impact. But Faye wasn't done, not by a long shot. She kicked him again...and again...and again. Even as he curled into a foetal position, hands wrapped around his face to try and shield him from the onslaught, she kept kicking him remorselessly.
Chase for all his earlier gallantry, didn't do anything to stop her. Even Bobbie was tempted, but seemed to abandon the thought just as quickly. They didn't interrupt because they were cruel, or wanted to enjoy the show. They held back for the same reason that I didn't lift a finger act: This wasn't just revenge...it was a message to anyone who ever thought they could touch her and get away with it. Anyone who believed she was just a piece of ass to be claimed and conquered. They needed to look at Brad and remember just how much it had cost him to try and steal his prize.
As I was led out of the room, I promised myself that I would do the same before this ordeal was over.
Chapter three:
The cops showed up eventually, though they may as well have not bothered. By the time any arrests were made, the house was practically deserted: Only a handful of stragglers remained, determined to tear the last lighting fixtures from the walls. African predators couldn't have stripped a carcass that fast.
Bobbie, Faye and I were all huddled in the back of Chase's van, parked a good way down the street. Faye was still shaking lightly...maybe from the shock of what had happened, or just the adrenaline starting to wear off. By comparison, I wasn't doing all that badly: I had a few scrapes and a couple of bruises, nothing that wouldn't fade in a week or so. Instead most of the damage had been done to my pride.
My mind kept replaying the scene in my head, over and over, faster and faster....no matter how much I wanted to, it wouldn't stop. Like my subconscious was determined to remind me of what I'd allowed myself to become.
Weak.
Helpless.
A target.
I clenched my eyes shut, at the same time fighting back a surge of emotion that caught in my throat. This was nothing like what I'd dreamt of. Every waking moment since I'd made a bargain with Lust had done nothing but fill me with emptiness and regret. It stripped away my illusions and presented me with the cold, hard truth: Being a girl was nothing like what I'd envisioned. And honestly, the truth of that was so depressing, I'd kill myself all over again if it weren't for the fact Lust would probably be there to meet me again when I opened my eyes.
My train of thought was derailed when the side of the van popped open, Chase quickly stepping in before sliding the door shut. "Okay, the cops are just packing up. Pretty soon we should be good to move."
"Remind me again why I'm not getting three assholes thrown in prison right now?" Faye growled, her eyes narrow slits as she looked up at Chase.
"Whoa, relax." He held his hands up defensively as he took a seat. "You've got to trust me on thi-"
"Fuck trust!" I spat. "I don't owe you a goddamn thing!"
He let my words hang in the air, the silence broken only by the sound of my rapid, panicked breaths. I inhaled slowly, trying to regain a modicum of control before he spoke.
"You've got to think about this rationally." He said in a slow, deliberate voice. "I heard about what happened from Bobbie. She got me to come and help, okay? I know what they were -going- to do. We all do. But the fact is that they didn't get a chance."
"And attempted rape stopped being a felony, when...?" Bobbie volunteered a little too casually.
Chase let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not that simple."
"Try me."
Chase grit his teeth, trying to think of the least offensive way to articulate the violently sexist fact he was about to divulge. "Those guys are on the Blue Devils. We all are. And I don't know if you've been keeping up on current events, but this town fucking loves the Blue Devils football team."
Sadly....that was actually pretty true. Last year when they won the state championship, the whole town lost it's goddamn mind. We had a parade, banners all over the streets, team pride day all across town, you name it. At the time Faye and expressed the zero fucks we had to give about football by holding a private Street Fighter tournament for the title of master of the universe, which explains how we kinda didn't recognise any of them.
"Your point being?" Faye muttered darkly.
"My point..." He continued. "...is that being on a championship team affords the players a certain level of privilege. We bring in funding for the school, revenue for the venues, and tourism for the town. So nobody wants to see a scandal hit the team, especially when it might land their players in jail."
I shot Chase a look that could tear through him. "You're trying to keep us from causing a scandal? Fuck that! I'd rather see the team torn apart then let them get away with what they did to us."
Chase shook his head. "You're not listening. You can tell the cops all you want. You can scream until your throat is dry and it's not going to matter: They didn't rape you. Hell, you'd be lucky if you weren't the ones hauled off in cuffs for the way you messed up Jake with that chair."
I stared at him in disbelief. "You've gotta be kidding me."
"You think you're the first girls those guys have tried to rape? When you're on a team that's worshipped like a pack of Greed gods, you start to get a complex about entitlement. Everyone on the team, even me, has broken the law. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's the truth. And so long as nobody gets killed and there's no photos to prove it, the cops turn a blind eye every time."
"Wait a minute." Faye seemed to be calming down, but her trepidation was rapidly being replaced by scalding hot rage. "You've pulled this kind of shit before too?"
"Me?" Chase balked. "Jesus...god no. I swear, worst I ever did was trash a car one time."
"But those guys have?"
"Yeah...Yeah they have."
"If I had a week, I couldn't explain how wrong that is." Bobbie sounded a little less emphatic, clearly a little downcast given what Chase had said.
"Like it or not, you've got to live with it." He replied bluntly. "It's how the town works."
"So we just do nothing?" I balked. "Just pretend none of this ever happened, high-five in the hallway when we see them?"
"Not what I'm saying at all. Okay? Just...it's been a hell of a night. Can we just get some rest and discuss options when cooler heads prevail? You can still file charges in the morning if you want."
"You're serious, aren't you?" I could practically hear Faye's teeth grinding together.
He nodded. "I swear to god, I am not doing this to cover anyone's ass."
"Whatever." She said under her breath as she stood up, shifting gears suddenly. Clearly he'd struck more than a nerve with that last comment. "It's late and I'm over this. You coming, Nikki?"
"Faye, wait-" Bobbie protested, but she was cut off as Faye waved a hand dismissively. The van's side door popped open, and Faye hopped out into the cool night air.
"So are you coming or what?" She muttered tersely.
I cast a weary look at my companions, but decided it wasn't worth arguing. No point in losing more time lamenting time lost, and all that stuff. I hopped out of the van, and began walking alongside Faye up the hill to where the Evo was parked. Once we were out of earshot, Faye decided to speak up.
"Can you fucking believe it?"
"Believe me, I'm trying not to." I rolled my eyes in agreement. "Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it."
She shook her head. "Probably not. I mean....fuck! I've had my ass handed to me plenty of times by guys like those assholes. That's not what bothers me."
I shivered, my mind all to happy to remind me how easily I'd been overpowered. "Yeah, tell me about it...those fuckers."
"Just...ugh. What they wanted? What they were thinking...?"
"I know, I know." God, it felt horrible just admitting it. "It's just...I mean...-do- you want to talk about it?"
"I thought guys didn't talk about their feelings?"
I looked at her darkly as we approached the car. "That's not funny."
"I know." She was quiet now, almost whispering. "My bad."
Faye fumbled with her keys as she stood at the driver's side of her car, first rays of the morning sun starting to glow against the paintwork. I waited for her to unlock my side, hugging my arms against my chest. I wasn't sure if the need wars born form insecurity or the cool night air. "So what are we gonna do?"
"First? I'm gonna get some sleep." She said, popping the door open. "Then I'm gonna figure out how we can pay those assholes back a hundred times over."
I couldn't help but smile a little. Seeing Faye quiet and withdrawn didn't suit her at all; This was much better. "Any ideas on how you want to do that?"
"I want to find out what they love most in the world. Then I'm gonna burn it."
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Sleep is one of those things we take for granted as adults. Roughly one third of your entire life is spent catching shut-eye, which wouldn't be so shocking if any of us could remember our dreams. Sure, some people might, or they keep journals which they scribble in every morning to capture the images conjured from their imagination, before the memories scatter too far to grasp.
Personally, I never remember my dreams. Sometimes I might be reminded of some vague detail a few hours after waking, but for the most part I didn't really care. Dreams were dreams, and to dwell on something immaterial and impermanent seemed like a waste of effort.
That was, until tonight. As I watched the paint flake from my bedroom walls...ichor and languid smoke seeping in through the cracks between the floorboards, I knew perfectly well that I was dreaming. That none of this was real. Even as the room itself creaked and heaved like a living creature, I knew that this scene was taking place inside my head.
The only problem was, I wasn't alone.
"How's my favourite new thrall?" Her voice was playful and teasing as before, a stark juxtaposition to the way thick beads of tar rolled off her skin like water from a ducks back. She stood at the end of my bed, no longer satisfied with looking like Faye, she had taken on a form of my raven-haired doppelganger. "Been making new friends, I see."
"Lust..." I clenched my teeth, climbing off the bed sheets even as they turned to ash. "...you know goddamn well this isn't what I wanted. None of it is."
She tilted her head to the side, giving me a curious look. "No? And here I thought you wanted to be a girl, just like Faye?"
"Exactly!" I snarled, the frustration of everything I'd endured since our first meeting bubbling to the surface of my psyche. "Just like Faye! Someone who's confident! Sexy! A girl who can get whatever she wants in life! Not some waifish girl-next-door who's greatest achievement to date has been getting beaten and almost raped!"
She smiled, shivering like someone who'd just tasted the sweetest delight imaginable. "Ooooh...your jealousy is intoxicating. Not particularly useful to me, but I appreciate a snack nonetheless."
"I don't give a shit what you enjoy!" I shoved my face right infront of hers, but she didn't flinch even for a moment. Her eyes were black, lipid pools that seemed to go on forever, not betraying the slightest hint of emotion beyond what she wanted me to see.
"Oh, I know." She chided. "But where's the fun in it for me if I gave you exactly what you wanted? Wouldn't really suit my purposes."
"Your purposes?"
"Please don't tell me you think I gave you that ring just for show." Her fingers mingled with mine, leaving black streaks in their wake as they brushed the ring. "You don't remember our deal, do you?"
I hesitated, wondering if I should try to bluff, before realizing the futility of such an act: She was already in my head, after all. Chances that she knew what I was going to say before I even said it were pretty high. "Yeah...what of it?"
She smirked. "I'm sure not even Faye knows this, but the two of you are hardly the first of my creations. I've had quite a chorus line of pretty young things like you in my service."
I narrowed my gaze, not liking what I was hearing at all. "In your service?"
She gave me a smile of sickly innocence. "I don't like to talk about myself...but suffice to say that throughout the ages, I was called upon to grant all manner of gifts and boons to magi and amateur alike. I wasn't forced, I did it of my own free will...honestly I appreciated the attention. But to create one thing, another has to be destroyed. I had to get the energy from somewhere to bring their fantasies to life...and sadly it meant that someone had to die to make it happen."
I recoiled at the implication of what she was saying "You killed people just to grant sick fantasies?"
"I did. It's an equivalent exchange, you see: You can't have one without the other." She shook her head slowly. "But as the centuries wore on, man's appreciation of the dark arts began to wane in favour of science and the pursuit of profound knowledge. I needed energy to sustain myself...without taking a little every time I was called into service, I would eventually fade away into nothingness."
"You're breaking my heart." I sneered.
Her smile spread wide across her face like a hungry predator. "Oh? But we're just getting to the best part...see, in my desperation, I discovered a way to sustain myself without having to take a life. I could bond a individual to me, make them an instrument of my will in the material world. Their emotion, the raw energy of their passions and pleasures was just as sweet as any life force I'd ever tasted. And in turn, they could enjoy the power that I offered them to make their desires a reality."
"So that explain Faye, huh? Funny, I don't remember her asking you for anything."
"Not that you know of." She smirked. "You are right though, she never did ask me for anything. Faye was a special case bought about by a situation beyond my control. One that proved to be my undoing."
I folded my arms beneath my breasts, looking at her dubiously. "And yet here we are."
Lust waved a finger disapprovingly. "Ah, ah. I already told you I'm not giving that little secret away so easily. Besides, I think I've already said too much."
"Then get out of here. Right now I should be dreaming about Optimus Prime helping me save the universe."
She shook her head once more. "In a moment. Faye and all the other thralls bear a mark that serves as the link between us."
My mind reeled, trying to picture what she may be speaking of...until it settled on the painfully obvious. "The Kanji tattoo?"
"That's one type of mark." She nodded. "But I have others, like your cute little ring. It has a much more special purpose."
I held my defiant pose, doing my best to gaze fearlessly into those dark, soulless eyes. "Like what?"
"You're about to find out."
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My eyes flew open as a sharp breath punctuated the silence surrounding me. I was still in the same room, but the signs of Lust and her corpulent decay had vanished. I was left wondering if I'd even been asleep at all...or if the whole thing had been some kind of waking hallucination. Have you ever had a dream so real that you weren't sure where it ended and reality began? Ugh...never mind.
I swung my legs off the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped as I tried to brush away the last cobwebs of sleep cluttering my thoughts. Lust words rang in my ears as I squirmed against the bed, whole body feeling warm and flustered. I looked at the ring on my finger, pink stone glowing faintly in the dark, as characters I'd not seen before, Kanji written in another language along it's band radiated a purple energy.
"Okay..." I muttered softly, studying the object. "...that's a new trick."
I bit my lip, heart quickening as questions began to race through my mind. Was this what Lust was talking about? Should I tell Faye? What if I tried to smash it with a hammer? Holy shit...maybe I should cut off my finger?
I sat up, trying to force down the panic that was rapidly overtaking me. I was taking short, sharp breaths...blood pounding in my ears. No, I had to fight this. Faye fought it, right? I can too...I just need calm down. Need to think.
But no matter how I tried...I couldn't calm down. My body felt hotter, skin tingled with newfound sensitivity, causing even the brush of cotton against my skin to feel like sandpaper. I shook my head, swallowing hard as my addled mind tried to make sense of what was happening. But then it hit me...and the only reason I didn't feel any more stupid than I already did in that moment, was the fact that I didn't have any knowledge what this sensation felt like until now.
I wasn't terrified. I was horny.
A hot, wet sensation grew in my loins as I stared at my crotch through the dress in disbelief, I could feel my breasts wobbling on my chest, throbbing...growing larger in the confines of the bra that cradled their growing shapes. I shook my head, groping the swelling mounds through the fabric of my top, wincing at the sensations that motion sent through me. Oh god...
But it wasn't just my breasts; everything about me was starting to change. I could feel my face twitch and pull in different directions, features being re-sculpted by invisible hands as my hair turned from honey blond to a lustrous black, strands glinting like obsidian shards in the faint light.
My breasts felt enormous now, as every little movement seemed to send them bouncing and tugging madly against my chest and the fabric that strained to contain them. My hands grasped the sheets, desperately clinging onto them as I instinctively spread my legs, thrusting my hips against the empty air beyond them!
Moans and helpless whimpers slipped by my lips as arousal and desire coursed through my veins like molten fire. I couldn't bear it any longer. I needed this to stop...I needed release! I needed...god, I needed....more than that? Freeing themselves from the sheets, my hands tore at my clothes, frantically stripping one layer after another from my body until nothing was left. I stared at my now hairless vagina, folds glistening with juices. I could feel my labia parting, revealing a pink, creaming slit.
I gasped, unable to stifle the sound of my strangled moans. I pawed greedily at my chest, shocked to find that my breasts were so large now that I couldn't even fit them in my small, dainty hands. My fat, turgid nipples pressed against my palms as I felt my pussy clench, the spasmodic thump and flexing began to overwhelm my senses...it was an aching, empty sensation inside my hips. Slowly, as if toppling over a cliff into a sea of untainted bliss, juices slipped out of my thumping, flexing vagina, as my body was consumed by it's first spontaneous climax!
I collapsed against the bed, sheets sticking lightly to my skin which was now glistening with sweat. What the hell had Lust done to me? Wasn't it enough that I had been her plaything once when she turned me into the girl-next-door? My whole body felt radically different to what I'd been slowly growing accustomed to over the last couple of days. As my breath began to slow, I felt my curiosity starting to get the better of me.
The bathroom flooded with light as I stumbled in, legs still feeling a weak after the orgasm that overwhelmed me only moments ago. Why on earth would Lust even do this to me...was she that sick, so twisted to force this on me after I'd narrowly escaped being raped only a few hours prior? It seemed senseless just to inflict this on me for kicks and giggles...there had to be another reason.
I looked down at myself, eyes taking in the sight of my new physique for the first time. My breasts were...enormous; two ripe orbs thrusting proudly from my chest, capped of with thick, tan nipples that seemed to proudly declare my femininity to anyone who might look. It was impossible to tell for sure, but I felt like they were easily as large as Faye's...maybe even bigger, I realized with a sense of mild disbelief.
So much for being a member of the Itty bitty titty committee.
Shifting my attention, I began to look for other changes that Lust had wrought upon me. My skin was a shade darker, looking tan, maybe with a touch of olive. The most obvious difference was that my hair had grown even longer as it shifted from blond to ebony, lustrous strands now stretching far enough to tickle the small of my back.
So what did I look like? I gritted my teeth, inhaling slowly. Probably best if I found out sooner rather than later. The last thing I needed was for Faye to rouse from her slumber and catch yet another naked female stranger in the house. Last time she nearly stabbed me before I could talk her down, meaning I wasn't too keen to see what happened if I tested my luck a second time.
When I'd first been transformed, everything felt a little bigger, just a bit taller due to my reduction in stature. Standing up straight, I realized the effect now seemed magnified further still...did that mean I was even shorter? Great...just...perfect.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled my resolve as best I could before moving infront of the bathroom mirror. My hips were so wide now that there was actually a small gap of space between my thighs as I strode, keeping them from brushing against one another. The effect was more than a little disconcerting.
It took a moment for me to register the assortment of features in the mirror as my own, kind of like how when you first lay eyes on a stranger, it takes just a second to make an appraisal of their appearance. Was I old or young? Fat or thin? Ugly or beautiful?
My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the girl in the mirror. I wasn't beautiful at all. I was fucking gorgeous. Every inch, every curve and feature of my body practically oozed sensuality and sex. I didn't look like a normal girl at all...or anything even mortal for that matter. I was every mans fantasy bought to life. A manifestation of pure sexuality.
I was...a little older, maybe eighteen or nineteen. My features had shifted, becoming flawlessly Asian, Japanese if I had to guess. It made sense...after all, we'd assumed Faye's transformation was at least half Japanese from Lust's subtle influence. Add her use of Kanji to that and it all fit together. The ethnic slant of my eyes was just enough to invoke an air of mystery and sensuality. Small nose, rounded, high cheekbones that any model would kill for. My lips were perfect, pouty without overdoing it, and formed the shape of an angel's bow when I gently pursed them together.
While I was shorter, my body was every bit as rapturously feminine and luscious as I was starting to expect. I watched my reflection as a slender hand reached up and cupped one of my heavy breasts, lifting and supporting it. A sudden awareness of this newly swollen flesh being cupped and squeezed crept into my awareness. I let go, causing tremors to ripple across my breast and the dark nipple it possessed to quickly grow erect. A gasp filled the air as I felt my bald nether lips twitch, signalling the return of a sensation I was quickly becoming familiar with as feminine arousal. I shivered lightly, a worried look crossing my new features as I tried to force the sensation down. Just how ravenous was my new body's sexual appetite?
I shook my head, tousling ribbons of shimmering black hair in the process. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't stay in the house, that was for sure. Not looking like this. Faye would have far too many questions, and I'm not sure if I could deflect her suspicions surrounding my transformation much longer. Worse still, If she found out the truth of my reasons behind becoming a girl, I might lose her forever. There was no choice, no decision to make. My path was clear: I had to run.
You know that feeling you get where you finally get the one thing you wanted more than anything in the world, only it turns out that it's a horrible mistake and you'd do anything to take it back? I have that right now.
"Shit..." I muttered under my breath, panic rising within me as I carefully slipped back into the bedroom, doing my best to avoid any detection from Faye. "Shiiiiiiit."
I was still bare-assed naked, meaning my first priority was finding something to cover up with. Ironically, all the clothes that Faye and I had acquired for my new, modest shape were either suddenly too small or generally ill-fitting. The only option I had was to steal some of Faye's clothes from the laundry hamper and hope for the best. Sadly her clothes didn't fit me perfectly either: A halter top I plucked out was too tight, and her sweatpants were a little too long in the leg. But under the circumstances, I wasn't really in a position to storm into her bedroom and demand something more comfortable. Speaking of which, Faye hadn't seemed to notice the commotion I'd caused earlier, either because she was too polite to interrupt given my blatantly orgasmic cries, or she was alternating between dubstep and industrial metal on iTunes again. Either way I knew she was still in her bedroom...I can't really explain it. Hell, I don't even want think about it. But it was enough that I could slip out the front door unnoticed with car keys, making a break for freedom.
I needed someone I could talk to...someone I could trust, who wouldn't judge me for what I'd done. I needed to speak to Taylor.
Taylor was one of my college buddies who I shared a few classes with. He lived on campus at Delacroix University, over in Hume Hall. He was one of those guys who was cool, laid back, and generally accepting of everyone because why the fuck not? I always felt like he was doing me a favour by letting me hang out, or inviting me to clubs on the weekend for drum and bass gigs I'd never heard of. As if somehow one day he'd realize that I was a geek and therefore bound to drag down his social standing in one way or another, and shut me out as a result. Here's hoping he hasn't had a sudden change of heart.
The phone in my pocket chimed, playing the fanfare from Final Fantasy VII (+50 geek points if you're hearing it in your head right now) indicating that it had received a message. Pulling into the University car park, I switched off the ignition and checked the device. I'd sent Taylor a message before leaving, making up a story about needing to show off my new girlfriend. I figured it was the only plausible thing that would have a chance of getting me inside the dorm, since "I jst tund in2 a girl, plz hlp" probably wasn't going to fly too far.
"NP buzz me wen u get here"
Perfect. At least I can get into the dorm without much trouble. I strode across the main grounds, which was an open area of lush grass and well manicured foliage, serving as a backdrop to the modern administration buildings. The whole establishment was built atop of a hill, which gave an impressive view of the city skyline on a night like this.
However, I was quickly finding it more difficult to concentrate on my surroundings, or the sound of revelling in the dorms as my path brought me closer to the student complexes.
My cheeks flushed, as I found myself forced to admit the obvious: I was beginning to feel very aroused.
What had begun as a simple spark from staring at my body in the bathroom mirror, had ignited a flame that was quickly building into an inferno that threatened to consume every thought in my mind, save for the idea of being satisfied.
I furrowed my brow, fighting the urge to rub my breasts as I kept walking toward Taylor's dorm...no, it wasn't just that. The arousal on it's own would be bad enough, but there was something else mingling with it. and emptiness...a hunger that roared with equal intensity, bottomless and completely void that demanded to be sated. I'd never experienced anything like it before; so cold and empty. Why would Lust do that to me...haven't I been humiliated enough?
Following a winding path, I found myself outside Hume Hall. I found the panel on the wall indicating different rooms, and pressed the button with Taylor's name posted beside it.
The intercom crackled for a moment, before I heard his distorted voice emanate from the speaker "That you, Nick?"
"Uh, no?" I said in a voice dripping with sensuality. Fuck, I could sell fur coats to PETA. "Nick's back at the car. He's just checking a flat tyre, can you buzz me up?"
"No problem." He replied with out a moments hesitation. I heard the door click as the lock disengaged, and I quickly let myself inside.
Despite it's modern exterior, Hume Hall was at the lower end of the scale when it came to university accommodation. Students were shoved into filing cabinet that consisted of blocks divided into four bedrooms, two bathrooms and a single kitchenette. Space was at a premium, and privacy was virtually impossible given that you had to enter via the kitchen common area and proceed to one of the bedrooms. By the time I'd made it to the third floor, my nipples so hard they were visibly poking against the halter top, as if trying to force their way through the fabric. I could feel moistness creeping into my vagina, causing me to nearly stumble at the intensity of the unfamiliar sensation. At the same time, the strange hunger I became aware of earlier seemed to grow ever more incessant...along with a strange, wet and gnawing emptiness between my legs.
I bit my lip, struggling to force the hunger down. Coming here was a bad idea, but it's not like I could turn around and go home either. I had to cling to my resolve, and hope that whatever desires threatening to consume me would pass of their own accord.
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"So....you're what, a busty nympho?" Taylor said, his face plastered with a look of bemused disbelief.
Getting into Taylors room had been easier that I thought. Only two of his roommates were present, and they gawked at me without reservation as I stepped inside and walked calmly into Taylor's doom room, shutting the door behind me. My body was screaming, demanding to be teased, touched, pleasured and used. The only thing keeping me from caving in to those desires completely was my male ego, a besieged soldier surrounded on all sides, battle weary but determined not to give up without fighting to his last breath.
"Oh shut up. You make it sound like I asked for this." I forced through clenched teeth.
He raised an eyebrow. "No, but...how did you put it...you're like a sexual fantasy bought to life?"
I narrowed my eyes. "God, it was such a mistake coming here."
"Hey, I'm on your side." He raised his hands defensively. "But you've gotta admit, that's a lot to lay on a guy after you come barging into his dorm, begging him not to call campus police."
Which is completely true. Once inside, I begged him not to call the cops until I'd had a chance to explain myself, y'know, being a stranger who'd lied through her teeth to gain entry and all. When I first laid eyes on Taylor, I was stuck by just how...different he looked to me, now that I was a woman. Instead of just seeing my friend, I found my eyes drawn to his handsome features, shaggy black hair and toned, athletic physique. He was gentleman enough to hear me out, but the fact he could tell I was a hairs breadth from tearing off my clothes probably sealed the deal.
Regardless of what is true, he did listen to my story. All of it, from start to finish. Once I'd sold him on the fact I really was Nick, I filled him in on every detail, every lied I'd told Faye, and why I had to escape before she saw me like this. He was surprisingly thoughtful and accepting, but I suppose that's to be expected when someone tells you a story that's so completely inconceivable that it couldn't possibly be fictional.
"Well, yeah..." I muttered, not really sure what else I could say now that I'd finished venting my spleen.
Silence hung in the air between us, and it was rapidly growing into an awkward moment when Taylor decided to break the deadlock. "So...what's it like?"
I squirmed where I was sitting on the bed, trying to ignore the wet throb radiating from my crotch. "It..it was fine before, when I was just a normal looking girl, y'know? It wasn't everything I wanted, but it was enough that I figured I could just make do. Use it to build a new life for myself. I was going to tell you eventually, I swear."
"Right." He paused, tasting his next words carefully as if his life depended on them. "But now?"
"Fuck, I don't know..." Abandoning any pretence of being able to control myself, I grabbed my swollen tits through my top and squeezed them together, moaning wantonly at the delightful sensation. It was like eating cotton candy: sweet and intense, but left me wanting more. "...w-what if I'm stuck like this the rest of my life? It's only been a couple of hours and I'm already feeling worked up...!"
"Just relax." His tone was calm, but had an air of confidence about it. "If you start wondering about the worst thing that can possibly happen, you're just going to work yourself into even more of a paranoid frenzy. Let's just deal with the facts for now, alright?"
I bit my lip, reluctantly pulling my hands away from my chest as I realized how absurd I must look. "A-alright. I'll try."
He nodded in approval. "Right, we're bro's after all, aren't we? Gotta look out for each other."
I rolled my eyes, his attempt at levity being so bad that it went all the way from unfunny back around to humorous. "Right, bro's before ho's. The bro code, written by Broseph Stalin, ratified by Abe-bro-ham Lincon, and enforced by Brosideon, lord of the brocean."
"Exactly." He smiled, making me do the same. Something about his self-assured manner was infectious. "So what's your plan? Beyond getting here and guaranteeing me a week of high-fives from anyone who saw you barge in."
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to concentrate. It was so hard to think with my body craving the slightest stimulation it could feed it. The lone soldier on the hill was wounded, down on one knee and running low on ammunition as his enemies closed in...
"I don't know. I guess if I could get a cold shower? That seemed to calm me down before." My voice was wavering, uncertain even to my own ears.
Taylor nodded. "That's fine by me. Just make sure the door is locked when you get inside. With the way your body looks, half the campus will be trying to sneak a peek once word gets out a hottie like you is on grounds."
I was not nearly as perturbed by that idea as I knew I should be. "Great. Anything else?"
Taylor shook his head. "Just to get comfortable. If you can't let Faye see you like this, then you're welcome to sleep here tonight. I've got a sleeping bag, so you can take the bed and I'll sleep on the floor."
A smile spread across my lips. "Thank you, I don't know what to say..."
"Well, you could always accept my gracious offer." He chided.
"On one condition." I said. "No jokes about eating carpet while I'm sleeping."
"Fuck, you read my mind."
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I stumbled out of the bedroom into the hallway, mind racing to make sense of the situation. This was crazy! My tits were aching to be touched, teased and stroked....at the same time I could barely ignore the sensations radiating from my crotch...my pussy twitched and clenched maddeningly, so wet with juices it felt as though the panties I wore were practically soaked. Every breath I took sounded like a whimper, a moan, an invitation for anyone who might hear to have their way with me.
I almost fell into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me as I fumbled for the lock. I just need something to take my mind off...whatever the hell is causing this. The bathroom was small, with white tiles covering Spartan amenities. Leaning against the shower stall, I began to remove my clothes as I struggled not to cry out, a mixture of raw frustration and animal desire coursing through my veins like molten fire. I tried not to stare at the egregious curves of my unfamiliar body as the last garment fell to the floor, instead reaching into the shower and twisting cold water faucet.
The pipes rattled for an instant as liquid surged toward the shower head. However instead of a torrent of water pouring forth, streams of black tar shot outward, dribbling languidly toward the drain. I pulled my arm back as though I'd been stung, but it was already too late: Lust was back.
I looked around helplessly as tiles on the walls began to shatter and explode as veins of corruption took root. A hot blast of air struck my skin as a cloud of ash was kicked up, swirling about me while the lights above began to flicker. Rusted pipes burst and tore, protruding from the ground like a smashed ribcage. I didn't even need to turn around to know who was standing behind me...how could I hide from someone who was linked to the very body I walked around in?
"What's wrong? By the expression on your face, you look...glum."
I whirled about, the sudden motion causing my breasts to wobble almost comically. The figure I saw was now was identical to me physically, right down to almost every detail. It was so strange to think that this woman...no, this creature was my twin...that my body was exactly the same as hers. As a man, I'd be sporting enough wood to plant a forest just from the sight of her gloriously naked body. But instead now all I felt was my already maddening arousal rising toward new heights. I bit my lip as I drove a hand between my legs, desperate to somehow stop the nymphomania from spiralling any further out of control. Instead my questing fingers found my hairless nether lips, inadvertently spreading the delicate folds as I felt a wet slickness spreading over my fingertips.
The only difference between us became evident when she looked at me: While her eyes remained the same black pools as when I'd first seen her, the iris was now visible. But rather than being hazel like my own eyes, they were a luminous pink hue, as if radiating the same energy that flowed through the ring on my finger.
"You might as well face it kiddo, you can't beat me." She said with an air of disdain. "Better girls than you have tried."
"Dammit..." I wanted to withdraw my hand and gain a sense of control over myself. But the pleasure that coursed through me from every touch and slip of my fingers was utterly intoxicating. "...how are you doing this? I thought Limbo only existed between life and death?"
She raised a delicate eyebrow. "Oh? And here I thought you'd figured it out. I already told you, thralls like Faye are just batteries. Even mistakes like Amy can still serve a purpose from time to time. But you? You're special. You asked for my help, you accepted it willingly, and in turn you get to bear a very special mark. "
"But this...how does this help...?" My voice was almost pleading now. I could barely stand up. "...what the hell is this?"
A wicked, devious smile split her lips. "The body I first gave you is just a normal, human body. There's nothing special about it. But right now, you're not human at all, technically speaking. You're "Lillith", making you significantly closer to a being such as myself. And beings such as the Lillith are ravenous. They feed on instinct and pleasure relentlessly, and their hunger is insatiable. As long as you have that body, you're going to relish both the power and pleasure it affords you. The desire won't grow day by day either, it's going to be much faster than that."
"You mean I'm going to end up just like you?" God, I couldn't keep a finger from slipping inside of me. The sensation of penetration was enough to make me almost double over!
"Oh, not at all. That would require centuries and luxuries I have no intention of affording you. But you need to be taught a lesson in obedience."
A sheen of sweat was covering my skin, causing it to glisten even in the faint light. "Then why give me this body at all? I could be a...what did you call her? A Thrall...just like Faye or the others."
She moved in closer, and a guttural moan poured forth from my throat as I felt her hand drifting up the inside of my thigh. "You made a deal, Nikki. You get to be the girl you always dreamt of, and in exchange, you would help me to get what I wanted."
"But I don't remember any of that! Everything is a blur..."
"A deal's a deal, right?" She stated coolly. "You get to be my plaything; a good little Lillith who feeds all that she can, and in return, you get to be a girl just like you always wanted. "
I closed my eyes tightly, letting out a frustrated cry. My body felt as though it was teetering on the edge of release. I was standing on my toes, braced against the shower as my fingers frantically dove into my quivering womanhood. But no matter how hard I tried...wether it was from inexperience or something else, I just couldn't climax...!
"Oh, you're wasting your time with that Nikki," Lust said, as if finally taking notice of my predicament. "The only way you're going to satisfy that desperate, empty maw of desire that's tearing you up inside, is to feed it."
I shook my head, barely able to concentrate on the sound of her voice. "I'm trying dammit!"
Lust smirked darkly. "Oh come on, don't make me draw you a picture. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm quite certain Taylor hasn't stopped thinking about it since you left."
"But...this is crazy...I can't keep this up forever! How am I supposed to live like this?"
"If I cared about that, I wouldn't have helped you in the first place."
I was beyond reason or logic. I just wanted this rapturous torment to end. "Please...do whatever you have to, I won't...I can't do this..."
Her features began to flake into ash, and as if running a movie in reverse, the walls began to mend as the corruption receded from their surface. Tiles fused back into a single ceramic piece as they recoiled toward the wall, settling into symmetrical lines. Water began to flow from the shower once more, as limbo all but vanished from my sight, along with Lust as the swirling cloud of ash began to dissipate.
"As I said, you need a lesson in obedience. I think it won't take you too long to stop resisting and to start indluging..."
The light above me flickered one last time before settling into a nice even hum, and I found myself slumped against the stall in a perfectly normal bathroom once more. Lusts ultimatum weighed heavily on my mind, but it was only a grain a sand in a desert of carnal lust, and a screaming, bottomless need to be pleasured. To be fed.
I almost tripped over my own feet as I stumbled out of the bathroom, mind so preoccupied by the swirling haze of desire and pleasure that I scarcely realized I'd left my clothes behind, scattered across the floor. It's not fair...how am I supposed to deal with all of this? I can't... I can't...
Oh shit.
I'd become so caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice that one of Taylor's dorm-mates was standing just outside his bedroom, clearly in the process of taking a bundle of clothes to the laundry when he saw me stumble out of the bathroom, bare-assed naked and moaning like a slut. Our eyes met one another and...I don't know what even happened next. It was like I'd crossed a threshold and found myself acting purely on instinct and desire, my need for satisfaction solely in the driver's seat.
In an instant I had him pinned against the wall, my buxom body pressed up against his own. Despite my loss of stature and strength, I'd caught him off guard. I could already feel a erection growing in his pants, pressing against my abdomen. It was terrifying and electric at the same time, the two sensations mixing like oil on water as they settled in my thoughts, each conflicting thought instantly silenced by a stab of carnal need.
He was cute in a way, I suppose...short black hair, slight frame. But he smelt so good...it's like I could see the meal he would become, a buffet of repressed sexual energy and needs long denied. But there was something wrong as well, something tainting the flavour of what he offered...that's when I caught the look in his eyes, which bought me out of my revere: Pure, unreserved terror.
This guy...whoever he was, he'd never been with a girl. He'd probably have been lucky to have held hands with a girl, let alone ever touched one before. And I knew instinctively why that was, because it's easy to see it in someone else when you've lived with it your whole life: He felt unworthy. Unlovable. Broken.
I bit my lip, slowly managing to withdraw despite my body's protests. No, I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't allow myself, there's no way he could understand, let alone accept even if I had succumbed and forced myself on him. He gazed into my eyes, trembling lightly as I took a step backward, managing to regain a measure of control.
"What's your name?" I asked, if only to break the silence.
"R...Ryan..." He stammered.
I took a few steps back, retreating toward Taylor's room while letting my gaze linger. "I'm so sorry, Ryan."
I stood with my back pressed against the door, knees threatening to buckle as I sought to catch my breath, reason and thought unravelling in my mind, caught in a hurricane of fear and shock at what I'd almost done.
"Oh shit....oh shit!" I gasped in desperation, chest heaving as my bare breasts quivered demurely.
For his part, Taylor was doing a fantastic job of trying to remain focused on my pressing emotional issues, rather than my blatant exhibitionism. "What happened, I thought you were going to take a cold shower...?"
I shook my head, swallowing hard between ragged breaths. "It's not going to do any good. Lust...she was there! She told me that the only thing that would fix this is feeding my hunger."
His expression grew vacant. "I'm going to pretend I know what that means."
I rolled my eyes, cringing as the idea he was making me say it out loud. "Sex! I...I can't control my libido. A months worth of colds showers is only going to make me hot and wet."
He smirked. "What would Freud say?"
"Not funny!" I scowled. "I can't control myself...I....your roomie Ryan? I nearly pounced on him back in the hallway."
He raised his hands defensively. "Ease up, I was just trying to add some levity."
"Do you have any idea how messed up this is? He's a guy! I nearly fucked a freaking dude! Jesus...I don't even know how to fuck a guy..."
He held a finger up to his lips, motioning for me to lower my voice. "I know you're upset, but keep it down, okay? Walls in here are paper thin, and I think half the dorm just heard you."
I nodded reluctantly, feeling tears begin to well up behind my eyes as I lowered my voice until it was just a whisper.. "Fine...just, you've gotta understand how weird this is for me. It's not what I wanted! I thought Lust was going to make me a girl just like Faye...or at least normal. But I'm some kind of "Lillith" instead, and I'm worried that I won't be able to control myself much longer..."
He moved closer, and god help me, I could begin to smell him as well. His scent was different to Ryan's; savoury and seasoned, but no less enticing. "So what stopped you?"
I blinked, caught off guard by his question. "Wait, what?"
He shrugged innocently. "What made you stop if you wanted to jump his bones? Must have been something, right?"
I felt my cheeks flush, even as I sought to wipe away tears before he noticed them "I...I don't really have much experience with sex. I didn't know what to do beyond the need to be close. To be pleasured."
He flashed a smile. "That's a good thing, right? I mean you've only been female for a day, I'd be kinda worried if you already were a pro at the horizontal mambo."
I shook my head as I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "No, I mean just sex in general....I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to that stuff."
"Oh." He paused awkwardly. "...I guess that makes sense."
I spread my legs a little, cheeks burning hotly with humiliation as my admission, and shame that I'd let a hand slide down my abdomen, cupping my wet, hairless pubis in a futile attempt to extinguish just a portion of the desire burning within me. "I know, but now....I want it so badly. With Ryan, with you...anyone! Just...something to make it stop..."
He could barely contain his surprise. He drew back slightly, unsure of what to say. "You want me to have sex with you?"
"I don't know..." I groaned softly, as unfamiliar and sensual delights rippled from my groin. My vagina clenched tightly against my fingers, just from mention of finally getting what I so desperately craved. "...I mean, how could I? With a guy...with you?"
A bemused smirk spread across his lips. "Hey, don't make it sound like you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. I'll have you know there's been a few women in your position who were a lot more willing, though probably not quite as wanting."
My resolve was cracking like a fault line, but I still clung desperately to the notion that I could outlast this. "You've gotta be kidding me. If I give in, I'm only gonna be stuck this wa-"
His lips pressed firmly against mine, cutting me off sharply. Kissing a man felt so different to anything I'd ever experienced. He felt forceful, confident, rough and determined. Right then, in that moment I felt as though everything I'd ever wanted was being laid out before me. It was so perfect. I could practically taste his essence...the energy that Lust hungered for. I could coax it forth, draw it out and feast until I'd lost all taste for it. A ragged gasp filled the air as I felt his hand grasp my breast, any last shred of rational thought I possessed was being swallowed by an inferno of feminine desire and carnal lust. He wanted to be in control, instinctively feeling the need to lead me on as my hands found his abdomen, sliding beneath his shirt to survey the landscape of flesh that lay beneath.
I didn't care any more. Nothing mattered. Not Lust, or the need to feed. Nothing but the feeling. Saturating myself in the experience. Drowning myself in untainted delight. I wanted to inhale raw sexual pleasure and drink from rapturous bliss. I was lost to myself, a slave to my own desires.
Taylor sensed the shift in my resistance, succumbing to my sexual cravings. In response I felt his hands move lower, sinking into the flesh of my swollen butt, lifting me clear off the ground as he climbed to his feet. A squeak of surprise slipped past my lips as my hands found purchase around his broad shoulders. I could see the desire in his eyes, barely contained like a mad beast furiously trying to tear free of the chains that bound it. When our lips met, the fire was so intense I felt like it could swallow us whole.
I felt the world spin as I was practically thrown onto his modest, single bed with enough force to make my turgid breasts wobble enticingly. In a heartbeat he was atop of me, pinning my arms against the sheets as he took a moment to simply stare at me, eyes moving over my every flawless, sculpted curve. He wasn't doing it out of courtesy or respect, like I might need a moment to collect my thoughts before he proceeded any further. He was savouring the moment, all too aware that as we were now, I couldn't move from beneath him. He had me trapped beneath his weight, arms and legs pinned. He wanted me to know without saying a single word, that I was completely at his mercy.
"I wanted you since the moment I saw you." He growled, freeing one of my arms as his hand languidly traced the swell of my hips, over my abdomen to cup the gentle swell of my pubis. My eyes widened as a measure of shock set in, breath catching in my throat for a moment. The idea of having a vagina was still new to me, fresh and raw in my mind. But at the same time I'd at least had some time to numb myself to how strange it felt compared to having a cock and balls occupying that space.
But now? All I felt was....exposed. Vulnerable. A penis isn't just a tool for sex and writing your name in the snow. It's a weapon. If a man isn't in the mood for sex, that's it. More than enough porn stars can testify that not getting it up or experiencing a boner-killer is the end of the show, full stop. But now, I was so small and delicate...he could overwhelm me on a whim, take everything from me without permission. This wasn't anything like back at the party with the drunken frat boy: Right now, even as I watched Taylor tear off his clothes, I wanted this. That realization was as shocking as it was exhilarating.
I dared to peek downward, heart thumping in my chest as I caught a glimpse of his erect manhood through the valley of my newly swollen cleavage. I felt a pang of jealousy as I realized....Oh god...this is really happening. Part of my mind was screaming, thrashing and tearing at the restraints of hunger and desire that had been fashioned around it, demanding to end this before I crossed a line I would never be able to retreat across again.
I felt the tip of his cock press against the wet, swollen folds of my pussy. I arched my back, a cry of fear mingled with lust piercing the air as I tried to accept the idea of what was coming next. I saw the look in his eyes: Animalistic, utterly focused on the singular purpose of relieving his unyielding desires. It was a look I'd seen before, familiar somehow...I knew the answer was hiding at the edges of my mind. I closed my eyes, trying to focus for an instant, before everything came crashing down right infront of me.
"No!" I struggled against him, writhing and pushing at his broad chest with all the strength I could muster. Nonono...this had to stop, something was wrong...changing, I could feel it. It was an intangible truth that I knew was immutable without question. With only a small amount of reluctance, Taylor drew back from me as I recoiled against the opposite side of the bed, staring at him like a wounded animal.
Taylor looked at me quizzically, his stiff cock still pointed at me like an accusing finger. "What? I mean...I thought you wanted this."
I shook my head. "No, there's something else going on here. You're not....you."
"Okay, I'm going to need some help following you there." Taylor replied flatly.
"The look in your eye." I gazed at him cautiously, not entirely sure if even I was going to understand what I was about to say. "I've seen it before."
He furrowed his brow, "Yeah, you've probably seen it on the face of any guy who was turned on by a girl. What's the deal?"
"No, I've seen it before. On Lust's face. On Faye when she was dancing on the tabletop."
Taylor still wasn't convinced his raging hard-on wasn't the innocent victim of a false accusation. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"Do me a favour: Turn around for a second."
He let out a sigh, obviously going for a little drama. "Fine, whatever."
Taylor shuffled a little against the sheets as he turned around, exposing his back to me. There wasn't much out of the ordinary: Muscles prominent enough that my libido started to question if there wasn't a way I could salvage the possibility of sex before it was beyond all repair, freckles, a pimple or two. Nothing remarkable.
My eyes trailed down to the base of his spine, where I suddenly hit paydirt. It was barely there, imperceptible by all accounts. But a trained eye knew what to look for: A few small bumps, slightly discoloured, combined with a faint glow that faded in an out.
"Holy shit." I whispered as my fingertips trailed over the marking. "I was right. It's the same mark that Faye has."
"You're shitting me." He was twisting about now, trying to get a look at his own back, with about as much success as you'd expect.
"Hang on a sec." I slipped off the bed, picking up my phone before quickly taking a photo. I held the device up to Taylor, showing him the evidence.
He squinted a bit, dragging fingers across the picture to zoom in. "Are you sure? Looks like a mosquito bite or something..."
"Trust me. Faye has one just like it on her back. I saw it at the party." I recalled catching a glimpse of it as she danced atop the table, much to the excitement of every man in the room. "Lust told me about it. She said it's a mark to designate someone as a Thrall: A servant of Lust."
"But Faye never had one of those before, right?" He seemed to have abandoned the idea that any line of conversation was going to result in him getting laid, and was reluctantly slipping on his pants instead. "I've met her a few times. Trust me, I was staring at her ass long enough to notice something like that."
I was going to object, but it's not like I could fault him. I sat on the edge of the bed, my burning arousal reduced to a smouldering ember as more important thoughts took precedence in my mind. "It must be Lust doing this. That's the only logical answer...everything that's happened, has occurred since she forced this ring on me."
"That doesn't make sense."
I felt mildly irritated by his offhand dismissal. "How the hell would you know?"
"Think about it." He'd fastened up his pants now, and was scooping up his shirt from the floor. "You're an evil spirit determined to fuck people over just to get what you want, okay?"
"Yeah, okay." I said cautiously.
"Right. So you've gone and created this general to go and do really cool stuff, who can gather way more energy for you than your regular pawns. Why put obstacles in their path? It's in your best interest to make her life as uncomplicated as possible. That way she fucks anything that moves, and you get all the energy you want. Win-win."
I looked at him darkly. "I'm not exactly sure I'd call that win-win."
"Call it what you want, I'm pretty sure you can see my point." He shrugged. "You've had nothing but trouble since you woke up with that ring: Crazy parties with guys hitting on you left and right, a case of near rape bought on by your friend turning into a exotic dancer, and now I'm getting a weird mark...according to you. The list goes on."
I looked down at my breasts, his words making an unusual amount of sense. "Yeah, good point. Not exactly factors conducive to keeping my life simple and unhindered."
"Exactly." He nodded in agreement. "So I kinda doubt it was Lust doing that stuff to you."
"Yeah, fair point." I let out a frustrated sigh. "So what, it's gotta be something, right? This stuff just isn't happening by itself."
Taylor's response made fear stab at my gut like thin shards of frozen ice. The answer was staring me in the face the whole time, but I'd been too blind to see it. Or worse still, maybe I just didn't want to see it?
"I dunno." He said casually. "Maybe you're the one doing it?"
My eyes went wide with shock. "No way."
He held my gaze, not forcing the issue, but not letting it drop either. "How can you be sure?"
I looked away, mind reeling as it ran the events of the last few days back and forth like an old videotape. But no matter which way I looked at it, the answer was the same: It's possible that I was the one causing these events to take place, or at least influence them. After all, I was the only other common denominator between them. Was I the reason the mark had emerged on Faye's back, as well as Taylor? Had I affected Taylor enough to drive him into a wanton frenzy? What else had I done at that party?
"Oh man, this is...way too much to handle." I held my fingertips to my temples, trying to work through the stress that was growing thicker and more tense by the second. Was this the power of a Lilith?
"Whoa, take it easy. We can work though this." He paused for a moment, contemplating his words. "I think."
I looked at him pleadingly, feeling like I was on the verge of tears. "What am I supposed to do? I...what if am I affecting you right now?"
Taylor shook his head. "We need to strategise, okay? Think this through. Which means I'm gonna take a shower, because looking at your naked but isn't helping me to think."
I could still feel the hunger within me, clawing at the boundaries of my consciousness. Whatever little taste of pleasure Taylor had given me seemed to have taken the edge off, but it was still there, watching...waiting for a lapse in concentration or judgement. "Sorry, yeah. I'll get dressed."
"Good." He flashed a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "Besides, it's been a crazy night for both of us. We should probably get some sleep and think it over in the morning."
"Yeah, you're right." I smiled faintly, trying to return the gesture.
Taylor slipped out of the room, me alongside him as I made a quick dash to retrieve my forgotten clothes, before returning to his bedroom. Thankfully I didn't run into anyone else as I closed the door, but all that did was leave me alone with my thoughts, contemplating how close I'd come to completely losing control only moments ago with Taylor. I was ready to let him....fuck me! I shook my head, disgusted with my lack of willpower, as well as how tantalising the thought still felt at this moment. One thing was certain: I couldn't rely on Taylor for help. Not only did I not want a repeat situation to arise in the morning, but I didn't want to risk finding out what would happen if the mark on his back grew any more pronounced.
After all, it didn't seem like Lust was in the habit of keeping men in her service.
I shook my head, realising I was rapidly running out of friends, favours and options. I'd have to send Faye a text just let her know that I was sleeping over tonight, but in the morning I'd have to find someone else who might be able to help. Faye was a last resort, and thankfully I still had one more resort left to visit: Bobbie.
Of course, there wasn't much chance she could help me any more than Taylor could. But I didn't want to risk hurting Taylor any more than I already have, and since Bobbie is already female, any adverse effect I might have on her should be mitigated somewhat. It wasn't much to go on, but it was better than nothing.
I collapsed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to gather my thoughts. Lies stacked atop of lies: I felt like Alice in Wonderland with the Red queen, running as fast as I could just to stay where I was. How long could I keep this up?
Briefly, I contemplated just giving up, calling Faye and telling her the truth. But the idea lasted only a moment, the very notion steeling my resolve to the contrary; I had come too far to fail. To admit everything to her now would be to risk losing her completely, and that was out of the question. Instead of folding my hand, I had to double down. It was all or nothing.
Faye never gave up, and I wasn't about to start.
"Uh! Uhh! Ohh! Ohhh! OHHHH!"
I awoke sharply, vagina clamped around invading digits. My lips separated, groans and whimpers growing more intense with every breath as I felt my body become seized by another orgasm. I could feel a hidden canal thump and flex around my invading digits, cream flowing out as I could feel my bud tingle maddeningly! Turgid, swollen breasts jiggled on my chest, moving in time to my shaking, trembling hips.
After what felt like a small eternity caught floating in a sea of carnal bliss, the climax seemed to loosen its grip on me, the thumping and pulsing in my crotch slowly fading in turn. I could feel the bed sheets sticking to my skin lightly, the smell of my pussy hanging in the air as if to bear testament to my actions.
I blinked, simply laying motionless for several moments, simply trying to rationalize what had just happened as my breath began to slow. Did I just...wake myself up with masturbation? I was used to waking up with morning wood as a guy, but this was a whole other level...
"That's one hell of an alarm clock."
I gasped sheepishly, immediately sitting up to look over the edge of the bed. Taylor lay on the floor in a sleeping bag, looking weary from the light's sleep, hair tousled and unkempt.
"Oh, uh...s-sorry." I stammered, trying to use the sheets to cover what little modesty I had left. "I didn't do that before, when I was the blonde girl."
"You've been doing it all night." He growled, extracting himself from the bag before standing it. "Pretty sure I'm gonna need to get new sheets."
I looked at him incredulously, but it's not like I could argue. My cheeks burned hotly as I threw the sheets aside, noting how the crotch of the sweatpants I'd worn to bed were rather soaked, my thighs sticky from the nocturnal activity Taylor had mentioned. It was still slightly shocking just to look at "my body". I'd only just started to adjust looking like the typical girl next door, when Lust went and changed me into a Japanese nymphomaniac. Fat nipples tested the fabric of the halter top I wore, straining against capacity while tempting me with what pleasure they would bring if I just gave in and teased them a little. The idea stuck in my thoughts, and I had to force it aside as I rolled out of bed, taking a few groggy steps as I followed Taylor to the kitchen area.
The kitchen was part of the shared amenities for the block of four dorm rooms, so it didn't come as too much of a surprise when I saw another figure loitering around as Taylor poured himself a cup of coffee. It was Ryan, the guy I'd bumped into last night on the way back from the showers. He took one look at me and quickly averted his eyes, pretending he hadn't heard my cries leaking through the wafer-thin walls only minutes ago.
"Uh, hey." I managed, giving an obvious wave to garner his attention.
His yes edged toward me, afraid that I might call him a pervert or something if he reacted too quickly. "Oh, hey."
An awkward silence hung in the air between us for a moment, as Taylor sipped his coffee. I began to wonder how I might get this guy to come out of his shell, or at the very least show a little more confidence toward a girl. I mean, that's the lest I could do given my current accommodations, right?
"Howya doing?" I asked, trying to force some enthusiasm into the mundane question.
"Fine, I guess." He was waiting for a waffle to finish toasting. I smiled, running a hand through my shiny black hair. "Sorry if I woke you up, y'know...during the night. Apparently I was kinda noisy."
"Just moving the furniture, huh?" He asked tersely. Clearly I had made -a lot- of noise after all.
"Oh my, look at the time." Taylor practically shouted without looking at a clock, quickly scooting off before getting dragged into the conversation.
I gave Ryan a frustrated look. "Okay, I know what you're thinking, and we weren't having sex."
"Hey, it's none of my business if you were."
I glowered silently, folding my arms under my large breasts. There was something about this guy...I felt compelled to...I dunno, try to help? Maybe help wasn't really the word for it. It was more that I felt like I'd been in his position my whole life, and now that I was female, the least I could do was cut him a break and give him a chance to talk to a girl who he wasn't afraid would break his dick off and jab it in is bleeding eye sockets. Metaphorically speaking.
But no matter what I tried to say, clearly I couldn't break through his force field. Poor guy had spent a whole lifetime building up walls and barriers to keep people from getting close to him, so casual conversation over breakfast wasn't going to have a whole lot of impact.
"I'm not going hurt you." I said at last, breaking the silence. "I just want to try and get to know you."
"Uh, okay?" He answered quizzically, not really sure where my statement had come from.
"I mean it." I persisted, hoping that neither Taylor or anyone else was listening in. "Let's hang out some time, yeah? Just you and me."
He looked at me nervously, hands fidgeting. "Okay, s-sure. Whatever."
I could feel the hunger stirring within me again, tugging at it's chains, demanding to be cut loose. I grit my teeth, trying to remain focused. "Okay, give me your number so I can call you."
Silence hung in the air for a moment, as I could feel his anxiety building exponentially. He wasn't sure what to do: Fight or flee, and the choice was threatening to tear him apart. Finally the will to flee won out as it had so many time in the past, and the awkward air was punctuated by his waffles popping out of the toaster. "Look, just leave me alone, okay? You and Taylor are obviously fucking, so just leave me out of it."
He didn't know how close he was to the truth. We very nearly did. "I said we're not fucking, didn't I?"
"I heard you two going at it all night!" He shot me a dirty look, as if I'd already found a way to betray him somehow. "I'm surprised you got any sleep at all."
He put his waffles on a plate without even bothering with a topping, quickly looking to make an exit as he started for the door. Within me, the hunger...the need was straining at it's bonds. I wasn't sure how long I could keep it contained before I lost control completely. But then, without even thinking, I acted instinctively. Rather than waiting for it to break free, I released the bonds intentionally.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I gave Ryan a forceful shove, mustering enough strength to knock the plate from his hand and push him back against the wall. Memories of how close we'd come to kissing last night surfaced in my mind, only this time I was determined to make good on my intention. He opened his mouth to object, which suited me just fine: In a heartbeat my lips were on his, sensually grinding my body against his own as I savoured the taste of his lips. No...it wasn't just that. When I kissed him, it's like I could taste the very essence of who he was. The energy...I realized. This was how I fed the hunger last night with Taylor. It comes instinctively, so difficult to control, but exotic and delicious at the same time. I wanted more...no, -needed- more, despite how weird it was to even kiss a guy in the first place...the sensation was like being given the lick of a sweet ice cream before being told to put the rest back. If the ice cream was vanilla cocaine.
Ryan eventually found the strength to break the kiss, but he was still pinned against the wall. He stared at me breathlessly, astonished, shocked and completely terrified.
"555-456-2947" He blurted out. I wasn't sure if he did it to make me stop, or if the kiss had addled his thoughts to the point where he simply wanted to give me what I asked for. Regardless, his words were enough to snap me out of my predatory fever, and the chains back on the hunger, sealing it away once more. Perhaps it was easier to control myself if I didn't wait for desperation to take over?
"Thanks." I smile sweetly, slowly drawing back from him. "Wasn't so hard was it?"
He muttered something in agreement as he quickly grabbed the remains of the broken plate and his breakfast, scurrying off to his bedroom. I put my hands on my hips, watching him as he disappeared down the hallway. Finally, I was able to do something right, even if I had the wrong reasons.
---------------------------------------------
I managed to get out of Taylor's dorm without too much further difficulty. Taylor and I spent breakfast going over plans for how I was going to try and handle this bizarre situation I'd somehow fond myself caught up in. First, I had to be careful around other people: Clearly I was capable of affecting others, though it was impossible to say how or in what way specifically. That was the easy part. The hard part...was trying to find a way to fix this that didn't involve Faye. Given that Taylor's studies didn't really venture into the occult, he wasn't really a fountain of good ideas. Sadly my ideas weren't much better....the only thing I could really think of was trying to talk to Bobbie. The girl seemed to always have a knack for fixing situations when she was living with us, so she might have some useful advice, even if I doubt she had a Deus Ex Machina lying under some magazines. The rest? Well, I was going have to make that up as I went along.
I stopped by a clothing boutique on the way, making some hasty excuses to the shop assistant about how I'd had a wild night partying and couldn't find half my clothes. Not sure if she believed me, and honestly I didn't care. All that mattered was that she managed to find me some better fitting clothes that didn't reek of sex: A babydoll t-shirt that showed off a good amount of midriff...though wether that was intentional or due to the size of my breasts was anyone's guess, and some yoga pants seemed to be the only thing that were both comfortable and not overly tight around my hips.
The bakery where Bobbie worked was an old building which had been cleaned up and renovated to suit the new business. As a result, it was spacious enough to hold gatherings and the occasional band practice I'd attended in the past. I stepped inside, feeling the warm air of the bakery and the fresh scents it carried wash over my skin. I cast my eye over the entry area, spying glass cases holding refrigerated treats like their famous cupcakes, while shelves in the back held more mundane items like loaves of bread and fresh rolls. Bobbie was behind the counter, helping another customer finish their order. I sighed impatiently, realizing for the fiftieth time since driving over here that she wasn't going to recognise me...again. Meaning that I'd have to explain who I was and convince her that I wasn't a crazy person. At least I'd given the speech a couple of times already, by now I should be getting pretty good at it.
The other customer trundled off, clutching a bag filled with croissants. Bobbie turned her attention to me and smiled; and expression so bright and full of energy it could power half a city. "Hi, can I help you?"
"Yeah, uh...I need to talk to you. Privately." I said, knowing how dumb and awkward that sounded. Maybe I wasn't as seasoned at this as I thought.
"I beg your pardon?" Her expression was as dubious as you'd expect from a request like that.
I let out a sigh. Okay, I've done this dance enough times. Let's change the beat. "I need to speak to you in private because I'm actually Nick. We talked last night at the party, I was the pretty blonde girl, remember? I nearly got raped by three assholes before you bust in with another jock and saved the day."
As each word left my mouth, hers began to hang more aghast in turn. I continued unperturbed, speaking with a kind of calm disinterest one would have reading a shopping list. "It all happened because I was tricked by a evil spirit called Lust. She stuck a ring on my finger that I can't take off, and now it's changed me into a Japanese nympho who's apparently some kind of super-Thrall. Whatever that is. Got all that?"
She stared at me for several moments, a myriad of different expressions running across her cute features. Every time she looked like she was about to say something, the words seemed to die in her throat.
"I need your help." I said pleadingly. "I don't know who else to turn to. I can't ask Faye for help because if I do, I'm worried I'll lose her forever."
That seemed to shake her out of her trance. "What? Why?"
"Because...this is all my fault as well. But she doesn't know that." I let out a pained sigh, slumping my shoulders.
Bobbie contemplated my request. Then, without a word, she strode out from behind the counter and walked over to the front door, flipping the sign from "Come on in, we're open!" to a big, fat "Closed."
"Okay." she said, gesturing to a table and chairs used by customers. "Grab a seat."
"Wait a sec..." It was my turn to be sceptical. "...you believe me? That easily?"
"Yep." She said matter-of-factly, grabbing a couple of bottles from the fridge filled with cola.
I eyed her suspiciously. "Okay, then the obvious question being...why? I could have just told you this was an elaborate disguise and I'm actually the six-fingered man who killed your father."
"The Princess Bride joke helps." She said, setting one of the bottles down infront of me. "But I've heard about Lust before."
I eyed her cautiously, opening the bottle and taking a thoughtful swing. "You know Lust?"
She hesitated, as if wondering how much she should tell me. Its not an expression I'm fond of seeing in people. "Faye told me about her when I was living with you guys last spring. Y'know....girl talk thing."
"Sadly, being a girl is still rather new to me." I shot back.
"Yeah, I get that." She commented dryly.
"So you know all about her then. How she works, what she did to Faye?"
Bobbie nodded. "Faye made me swear not to tell you. She didn't want her life complicating yours any further. She figured she had been enough of a pain in the ass already."
"Great." I muttered darkly.
She smiled warmly in an effort to counter my negativity. "Okay, if we're being totally honest with each other...I've seen what Lust can do firsthand. I've experienced it. So I know where you're coming from, at least to a degree."
"What? How has she affected you?" Christ, it sounds like we're in a support group.
"It's complicated..." She looked away, clearly dodging the question. "But I believe you. Isn't that what's important?"
"Yeah, I guess." I took another swig of my cola.
"Good." She smiled, looking satisfied as she leant back in her chair a bit. "Want to tell me how this is all your fault?"
I let my head rest against the table, a curtain of dark hair obscured my face. "Do I have to?"
"Yeah, if you want my help."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
"Only fools are positive."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
I cracked a smile, watching as she deliberately fell into the quote-trap I'd laid out.
"Oh! I fell for it! I should have known..." she protested dramatically, before finally dropping the act. "You going to talk now?"
"Okay! Geez....okay, here's the truth." I took a moment to harden my resolve. "I always wanted to be female. To be a girl. and I felt cheated that fate screwed me out of it with Faye. So I tried to kill myself."
Rather than act upset at my revelation, Bobbie gave me half-cocked smile. "Clearly you're not very good at it."
"No shit." I muttered darkly. "TL:DR version is Lust saved me, offered to make my wildest dreams come true. I accepted without asking any questions, and this is where it got me."
"Weird. I thought Lust was dead."
"Evidently, she's not very good at that either." I shot back.
She took a moment to think that one over. "Point taken."
"Which brings us up to current events." I gestured to myself, reinforcing the point. "All I ever wanted was to be like Faye. Instead I get to gravitate from cute cheerleader to Asian sex-dream."
"You've got that right." She said, looking me over. "At least you have something in common with Faye up top."
"Don't remind me." I muttered sourly.
"Anything else I should know about?"
I shrugged my shoulders. This whole conversation was bordering on friendly interrogation. "Not really. Just that I'm like a regular Thrall but all souped-up. Apparently that's called a Lillith....so yay for me?"
"Ouch." She gave me a concerned look.
"Oh, so you know about Thralls too?"
She turned away defensively. "Yeah, what of it?"
"Nothing....I just...ugh." I pushed the empty plastic bottle away. "It's frustrating to think that everyone knows about this stuff except me. Maybe if I had known, I could have avoided all this."
"Don't lose time lamenting time lost." She recited like a fortune cookie.
"Whatever. Was this something Faye told you about too? She never mentioned anything to me when this all went down originally."
"Not really." She was back to choosing her words carefully, being careful not to disclose too much. "It kind of came up later when I was staying with you guys."
When she'd been staying with us, huh? My recollection of the time wasn't all that interesting. Shortly after Bobbie arrived, Faye went off to do a photo shoot in the mountains, and came back acting all bitchy towards Bobbie. They fought, Bobbie and hung out while Faye went off and did some stuff with her career that was....pretty questionable to say the least. But we got all that stuff figured out and everyone buried the hatchet, but not before Faye decided to have sex with me like...straight out of the blue. So the only time I'd ever had sex was when my best friend practically mercy-fucked it out of me.
I looked at her cautiously, slowly putting puzzle pieces together. "Wait...is this something to do with you and Faye? After she went up to the mountains?"
"I'm sworn to secrecy." She said matter-of-factly.
I rolled my eyes in frustration. "Ugh. Fine. Whatever. This is like chanting sutras to a horse."
"Sorry." She smiled sympathetically. "I promise it's nothing about you. Just something private, I swear."
I waved a hand dismissively. "I get that. Anyways, since you're not in the mood to talk about that, want to put that secret knowledge to use and help me figure out a way to get out of this?"
Bobbie pursed her lips, gears clearly turning in her mind. "Nothing immediate springs to mind, sorry. But give me some time, and I might be able to work something out."
I groaned out loud, frustration now painfully evident. "Great. Because you know what? Time is exactly what I don't have. I can't avoid Faye forever, and if she finds out I made a bargain with Lust, she's going to disown me I swear. And in the interim, I have to spend every waking moment to control a ridiculous body with a turbo-charged libido."
Bobbie's hand touched my shoulder, intending to add a sense of reassurance and comfort to my fragile state. For a moment I felt completely at peace, my fears and worries ebbing away like the fading tide. But suddenly, something spiked, like my body rebelling of it's own accord against some kind of invisible assault. Bobbie withdrew her hand like she'd been stung, clutching her palm instinctively.
"What the hell was that..?" Her face was a picture of confusion and pain.
"I don't know!" I pleaded, terrified I'd done something wrong somehow. "I just happened. I mean...I don't understand what's going on at all."
Bobbie calmed down, shaking her hand a little with annoyance. "It's okay, that was just...weird."
I nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it."
I watched Bobbie as she looked at her hand in curiosity. At first I wasn't sure what had caught her attention, but then I began to notice as well: Her fingernails had turned black. Not rotten or decayed...just a shiny, black enamel coating them. Like the kind Faye wore regularly.
"Uh, Nick?" She asked curiously. We both watched in rapt attention as she held out her hand. The changes were subtle, moving up her arm almost imperceptibly as her bones shifted ever-so-slightly, becoming a little longer and more elegant in configuration. Up her arm, the ripples struck her torso, causing Bobbie to gasp as her top began to grow visibly tighter. The words "I bake cupcakes, ask me how!" emblazoned on her uniform shirt began to stretch outward as her modest breasts began to swell beneath it, testing the confines of her bra as she winced in pain.
"Nikki! What the hell?!" She looked at me in confusion and fear, an expression that perfectly mirrored my own.
"I don't know! I didn't do anything!" The changes seemed to pick up pace, no longer content to simply change one aspect of her physicality as her hips swelled, taking on an even more luscious, almost impossible hourglass shape as her but grew into a plump teardrop, threatening to tear the seat out of her pants. Bobbie let out a cry of discomfort, all her clothes becoming increasingly tight and ill-fitting with each passing moment. Her breasts we now so large that they pulled up the hemline of her shirt, showing a bright pink, glowing kanjii emblazoned on the small of her back.
"Holy shit, you're...a Thrall?"
"No!" She pleaded, sounding like I'd just discovered some secret she'd been hiding from me. "Ow...I'm not...a..."
She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as the changes that had been ravishing her body overtook her face. Blonde hair shifted to black, shortening as it took on a different cut, shorter and more edgy with a long green streak running through it. Her features became almost-Japanese, radiating sexuality and femininity in a way that would seem almost unnatural if I wasn't sharing the room with her. But that wasn't what shocked me the most.
No. Not possible. It's not fair...not fair...not fair, not fair, notfairnotfairnotfAIR! NOT FAAAAAIR!
Her face. It was Faye's face. Somehow...just by touching me, even Bobbie had attained the one elusive thing I'd wanted more than anything in this world. She'd become a twin to Faye Valentine.
Authors note: Thanks to everyone reading this who's stuck with the series so far. I'm working on releasing new chapters more frequently. Your support is what keeps me writing. This story does make reference to events that transpired in Platinum Chef: Part IX by Chefness. By all means, please check out her work and leave comment. That said, I've made sure to cover any relevant information here, so you won't feel like I'm only telling half a story.
Lastly, please leave a comment or review. I enjoy hearing everyone's feedback, positive or negative (though try to keep it constructive, please) and if you leave an email or some other means to contact, I enjoy catching up personally with each person who enjoys my work to take their feedback onboard for the next chapter.
I've told you about perfection, haven't I? All of this...everything I've done was because I've done nothing but strive for perfection all my life. I had convinced myself that being perfect was not only attainable, but, it had already been achieved by Faye Valentine. But really... perfection?? I have to tell you the truth: In this world, nothing perfect exists. It may be a cliché, but it's the truth. That's why I pursue the concept of perfection: It's infatuation.
The truth is I despise perfection. If something is truly perfect...that's it. There is no room for imagination or improvement. Perfection is a dead end. The very notion implies stagnation. That is the real reason I've agonized over the attempt to achieve perfection. It's who I am. It's the cornerstone of my every action, a whole reason for living! The only thing that has kept me going is the determination to exceed my grasp, trying to hold onto something that in the end, may in fact be unreachable. Always strive to be better than anything that came before you, but not perfect!
To see someone else attain it as easily as Faye did, without even trying? Well...there's only so much a guy can take.
Bobbie sat across me looking aghast, frantically pawing at her body in disbelief, a body which didn't belong to her. It was Faye's body. Somehow, just by touching me, she had been affected...something about the power that Lust had instilled within me, had overwhelmed her in that moment of physical contact. Changed her. And now, for the second time in my life, I was looking at a person who had stolen what was rightfully mine.
"Oh god, Nick! What happened? I'm...I'm Faye!" Her voice was borderline hysterical, panicked and confused by her sudden metamorphosis. Her ill fitting clothes tugged and dug into her newfound curves tightly, causing her to whimper in pain and frustration with a new, unfamiliar voice.
All I could do was stare at her, my mind overflowing with turmoil and emotion. How was this possible? I knew earlier I'd done something to Taylor, but I had assumed that was somehow due to my proximity...or worse still, the intensity of my arousal that had somehow begun to affect him. But this? All she did was touch me.
"I...I can see that." I stuttered, somewhat lost for words. I honestly couldn't decide wether to laugh or cry at this point. Screaming did feel like an option.
Bobbie clutched her head, stumbling backward as she toppled the chair behind her. "Oh god...this can't be happening, it just...can't."
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" I stood up from the table, staring at her in dismay.
"Then how the hell do you explain this?" Bobbie gestured to herself once more, in case the fact she'd transformed into my best friend had somehow become lost on me.
I looked at her pleadingly. "I don't know, okay? I didn't ask for this."
Bobbie took a deep breath, which sounded ragged as she tried to regain her composure. She was trying to re-assert the calm, compassionate side of herself, which had been jettisoned in favour of hysteria in light of recent events. "I know, it's not you."
A twinge of hope crept into my voice. "You do?"
She nodded, swallowing hard as she fought to come to grips with what had just happened. "Of course. You didn't want to look the way you do, any more than I do now."
No, I wanted to look the way -you- do now. "Yeah. Lust, right?"
”Right."
I felt some of the tension begin to fade from the air between us, as I slumped my shoulders in resignation. "Yeah, I know. God, what a bitch."
"I guess she's not satisfied with trying to ruin just your life."
I was staring off into space, juxtaposing the events of the last few minutes with Taylor last night. "Do you think...this would have happened to Taylor as well? Y'know...if I'd gone through with it?"
"I'm not sure." She seemed to contemplate the idea for a moment. "But I doubt it. Creating an army of clones seems a little unimaginative for Lust from what I've heard."
"Then why you?"
Bobbie had that same look again; the one where you could tell she wasn't giving me the whole story. It was even more infuriating when it was plastered across Faye's face. "I don't know."
"You're lying." I muttered tersely.
She pursed her lips together. "No, I'm not.'
God, I wanted to push the issue to badly. This whole time I could tell she'd been holding out on me. Bobbie knew something about what was happening, I could tell that much. But given what had just transpired, I was hardly in a position to demand answers. If I leant on her any harder, she'd either break down or blow up. Neither was an option I was really willing to test.
I'd lost my opportunity, at least for now. "...fine."
She smiled weakly, looking for a way to change the subject. "I don't suppose if I touched you again, I'd change back?"
"Beats me." I let out a sigh. "But you're welcome to try."
Bobbie slunk up behind me and tentatively touched my back again. Nothing. No shivers, no weird tingles or sensations, nothing. She tried again and again, but without any effect. Eventually she was forced to abandon the idea, realising that whatever strange feedback had affected her wasn't about to do an encore.
"Great." Bobbie said, sounding thoroughly defeated, looking down at her newly transformed self. "I'm stuck like this."
"Welcome to the club."
"You don't have a bakery to look after." She said, glowering at me through a curtain of green and black hair. "Or a boyfriend. Or roommate who's going to wonder where you've disappeared to."
"Hey, my life isn't exactly sugar and rainbows like this either!" I snapped.
"Yeah? Well at least you got what you wanted."
I gave her an incredulous look. "You think I wanted to look like the Japanese Jessica Rabbit?"
She folded her arms, looking noticeably frustrated as she had to adjust for her increased bust. "You wanted to look like Faye, right? You're not far off."
"You look exactly like her!" I shot back. "Everybody gets the one thing that I can't have!"
"Well I sure as hell never asked to look like this, I can promise you that."
I slapped a palm against my forehead, feeling tears welling in my eyes. "God, I wish I'd just died back when I slit my wrists."
My words hung in the air for what felt like hours, as the gravity of the situation asserted itself on us both. Bobbie knew she'd crossed a line, the kind you don't test unless you're sure there's no going back. She bit her lip, any trace of anger starting to fade from her features as she looked at me like a mother would their injured child. "I'm sorry. I...I just got caught up in the moment. You were right before, you know."
I looked at her from the corner of my eyes, unwilling to turn my head. "What, that I should have just died?"
She hesitated for a moment, but seemed to force herself to follow through. "No, not at all. I meant you were right about me. I was lying before. About me looking like Faye. I know why...or at least, I think I do."
Her revelation was enough to draw me out of my shell. I turned to her, wiping the stray tears from my eyes. "Okay, so spill it out."
She smiled faintly, like she wasn't sure if I'd get mad for trying to lighten the mood. "Give a lift back to your place so we can explain this whole mess to Faye. I'll tell you on the way."
-------------------------------------------------
So it turns out that Bobbie knew roughly five billion times more than she'd been letting on. See, back when she'd stayed with us in the past, there was a period of a few weeks where both Faye and Bobbie were acting really screwy and...you know what? Fuck it. TL:DR version is that they got switched. Literally switched bodies, Freaky Friday style. So yeah, turns out Bobbie has a lot of experience with having Faye's body, because she -was Faye- for several weeks. Think I'm making this up? God, I wish I was, but it helps explain why all this messed up stuff is happening. Least that explains her link to Faye. I guess touching me bought that out in her.
Anyways, that whole mess got sorted out somehow (she kind of glossed over that particular detail) and everyone was back where they should be. She left. We got on with our lives right up to the point where I killed myself. That brings us up on current events.
Anyways, it's important to be able to keep track of those kind of details, especially when you open the door to your house, to find your roommate staring face to face with her own doppelganger.
I'll give Faye credit, really. After the way she completely lost it when I first appeared as a girl, I was half-expecting her to make a break for the sharp, pointy objects. Given that it wasn't just Bobbie, but another girl she'd never seen bearing all the trademarks of Lust's handiwork, I was expecting a meltdown that would require a retreat of no less than a five mile safe distance.
Granted, both those ideas probably ran a good race and had votes counted, but strangely neither was the victor. Instead her gaze levelled out, and her face settled on a deadpan expression as she looked at me, then to her twin.
"I didn't know Lust was making house calls. What's your friend's name...Egregious? Tacky?"
By this stage, I've done enough introductions that the act itself was descending into farce. "I'm Nikki. This is Bobbie."
Bobbie smiled wordlessly, giving her twin a nervous look.
"You're kidding." She replied flatly. Clearly the novelty of Lust's transformations was wearing thin on her as well.
"I wish." I let out a pained sigh. "Can you let us in? I can explain on the doorstep, but I have a feeling one of us is going to make a scene."
Faye took a moment before weighing up her options, one of which probably involved multiple homicides, before stepping aside to let us in. I slipped inside, thankful to be home once again. Bobbie quickly followed as Faye shut the door behind us. "Talk fast."
"It's really me, okay?" I help up my hand, showing her the one feature about myself that Lust hadn't changed: The ring on my finger that had been given me.
Faye gave me a sour look, but seemed to buy it. "Okay, and what about her?"
Bobbie fidgeted awkwardly. "Something's happened to Nick. Lust did something to her which made her look like the way she does now. And when I tried touch her...well, you can guess the rest."
"Oh yeah? If you're Bobbie, what's the best kind of milk to use in buttercream icing?"
Bobbie smiled, meeting her gaze. "Nothing. You use butter, eggwhites and shortening."
"Fuck me sideways." She looked at the two of us like children who had just spilt Kool-Aid all over the carpet.
"You think I'm trying to do this?" I looked at her helplessly. "If I could take all of this back, I'd do it in a heartbeat."
Faye shot me a dirty look. "Well you can't, now can you?"
"Hey!" I felt myself getting agitated. "Not my fault. Blame Lust, okay?"
"Oh, how could I forget? Here I thought she was dead and you just had to go and prove otherwise."
"I knew she wasn't dead." Bobbbie admitted quietly.
"Are you serious?" Faye look at her incredulously.
Bobbie wriggled uncomfortably. "Back when we switched."
"Thanks for letting me in on that, by the way."
Faye's jaw dropped "And you told her about that!?"
She gave Faye an innocent look. "What else was I supposed to do? I had to explain all of this somehow."
"Did you mention that you were the one who mercy-fucked the virginity out of her and not me?"
I shot Bobbie a look that could punch a hole through the sun. "That was you? I thought it was Faye!"
"As if." Faye muttered.
I scowled at her. "If you'd told me about Lust in the first place, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."
Bobbie curled her fists at her sides, whole body tensing up. When she spoke, her voice had enough pitch and intensity that it bordered on screaming. "Quit it!"
Both Faye and I stopped in out tracks, staring at the busty Asian girl. She took a deep breath, regaining a modicum of decorum. "Knock it off, alright? We've all done -something- wrong. I get it. We've screwed up. Let's move on and deal with the problem at hand rather than waste time finger-pointing."
Faye looked away, scowling lightly. "Fine."
"Ditto."
"Good." She paced herself, letting us take a moment to calm down before continuing. "Because in case you can't tell, there's a couple of very serious problems we need to take care of."
Faye looked at me dubiously. "Okay, what's your deal. Did you ask to be turned into Miss December?"
"I told you, I didn't ask for this." I replied icily. "This was her idea of quid-pro-quo. Apparently she wants me to be a 'Lillith' which is some kind of succubus or something. Sex vampire? I dunno...point is, she wants me absorb energy like a conduit."
"Meaning....?"
I slumped my shoulders in resignation. "Meaning she wants me to fuck. And she gave me an oversexed body just to make sure I couldn't back down."
Faye slapped a palm against her forehead like it might somehow fight off an impending migraine. "Okay...and what about you, Neo-Faye?"
Bobbie shrugged her shoulders. "I already told you: One touch and the change hit me like a ton of bricks. I seem to be in the same body I had when we switched. At least, it seems that way with the green streak in my hair."
Faye groaned softly, still not removing her hand. "Anything else?"
"Well..." She bit her lip, hesitating. "I have the tattoo on my back, y'know...the Kanji?"
I remembered Lust mentioning that when I saw her last in the showers: The mark of a Lilith was a ring. The mark of a Thrall was a tattoo. Suddenly, the other shoe dropped as memories started to play out right before my eyes. Faye dancing on the table at the party...I caught a glimpse of a glowing tattoo on the small of her back. It was the same tattoo I saw on Bobbie when she turned into Faye's twin back at the bakery.
They were both marked as Thralls.
Worse still...they were both marked as Thralls, and it was because of me. My touch, my proximity...something about me and the power Lust gave me causes the mark to manifest in other people. It almost happened to Taylor back in his dorm room. But at least that was incomplete...but now Faye and Bobbie, both of them were marked. Which meant it wouldn't be long before they started to feel similar urges to what I had experienced.
-------------------------------------------------
Bobbie was resolute that she should not be far from me for the time being. Her argument was that since I didn't know how I'd caused her to turn into Faye's twin, I might be able to undo the damage just as inadvertently. Naturally Faye objected rather vehemently at the thought of her doppelganger crashing here, but Bobbie eventually talked Faye in to letting her stay.
I sat at the kitchen bench, idly stirring my glass of iced coffee as I wondered just what I'd done to get myself caught up in such a crazy situation. The ring on my finger seemed to sparkle as if answering my question, which only made me groan softly, wishing the earth would just swallow me up.
If there was an Olympics for fucking things up, I'd still find a way to get disqualified.
There was a sound of a door opening in the hallway, and Faye wandered out of her bedroom...wait, was it Faye? I squinted a little trying to discern which of the new twins I was looking at.
Faye rolled her eyes, pointing a slender finger to her fringe. "Pink streaks, remember? Bobbie has the green from when she was cavorting around snowfields."
"Sorry." I muttered, looking back at my drink. "This is just all different kinds of confusing."
"Don't even get me started."
I took a sip, trying to take a little solace in the sweet, creamy texture. "Yeah, I guess."
Faye let out a deep, long sigh as she leant against the bench. "Look...I'm still mad at you for this, bu-"
"I told you I don't know how I did it!" I looked at her pleadingly. "She just touched me and it happened!"
Faye looked at me earnestly. "You gonna let me finish?"
I tried to relax, nodding slowly. "Yeah....sorry."
"As I was saying, I'm still mad at you -but- I know it's not your fault."
"That's not fair!" I pleaded. "How can you be mad if you know what I did to her wasn't my fault?"
Faye frowned slightly. "What, that? I'm not mad at you for that. It's fucked up, don't get me wrong. I mean...like, really deeply fucked up, but I'm dealing. I think."
"Then what are you mad at me for?"
She looked at me with disbelief "You ran away and went to everyone but me when this happened! I thought we were supposed to be friends?"
"We are friends." I said quietly. "It's just...I was scared. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know how you'd react."
"What'd you think I was going to do, throw you out?"
"Last time this happened you almost stabbed me."
Faye hesitated for a moment. "Okay, that's a valid point."
I slumped my shoulders, trying to fight back the tears welling up in my eyes. The surge of emotion mixed with the simmering arousal that seemed to permeate my body was like oil on water. "I don't want to lose you. You're everything to me."
Afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, causing long blades of orange light to stretch across the room. Faye moved closer, slipping her arm across my shoulder as she pulled me into an embrace. "Everything I did back then, I did to protect you. From what happened to me, from Lust. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I struggled to think of what she meant.
"I should have trusted you." She kept her eyes on mine, never blinking or wavering. "You're strong enough to carry the burden of what I was going though. I'm just sorry it had to happen to you before I could see it."
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at her, shocked by her honesty and kindness. Gone were the barriers of sharp wit and aggression, giving me a glimpse of the girl I got to see far too rarely: Kind, honest and loyal almost to a fault. It's the side she keeps hidden from the world, and I felt that we were poorer for not seeing it more often.
I bit my lip, trying to smile despite the sadness in my eyes. "So...we both fucked up, huh?"
"Weeeeeell...." She rolled her eyes, giving me a smile that could light up half a city. "...I'd say you're definitely a bigger fuckup than I am. There's really no comparison. But if you want to try and put us in the same category, I guess I can allow it."
I wiped the tears from my eyes, trying to regain a little composure even as I struggled not to laugh. "Bitch."
"Right back atcha." She chided, drawing her arm back from me, leaving a lingering warmth.
I stared back at my drink, the glass neither half full or empty. "You ever stop to wonder if anyone else has to put up with this kind of garbage?"
"Stuff like what?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. Turning into girls. Twins. Sex demons. Body switching. This can't be normal for most guys in college."
"Normal? God, I hope not." Faye rolled her eyes.
"Then how do you deal with it?"
"I used to just bury that stuff, y'know?" Faye leant against the countertop beside me, staring into space. "Just stuff it all deep down inside me and try to seal it away for good. But that never helped anyone, let alone me. I think that's what helped bring Lust to the surface in the first place."
God, she sounded like me with all my gender issues. Always being forced to hide, to keep them secreted away from other people.
"So what do you do?" I asked her quietly.
She shot me a cocky grin. "Tackle 'em head on. I knock down doors. I kick down walls. And if anyone tells me I can't do it? I take all my fears, insecurities, worries...turn them sideways, and cram them straight up their ass."
I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head slowly as bangs of soft black hair fell into my eyes. "I wish I could say I'm surprised."
"I'd be disappointed if you were." She smiled wickedly. "I work hard to cultivate an image."
"Guess I should work on that as well, huh?"
Faye looked me over with a critical eye. "I dunno, you might have trouble convincing anyone to take you seriously with tits the size of yours."
I cringed inwardly, but her bait was just too tempting to pass up. "What? You're like an F cup, remember?"
"I dunno..." She teased. "...I think you might be a G. Maybe a double G. Is that a thing? We should check."
I clenched my teeth, cheeks burning with humiliation. "Oh, you want to get naked again and compare boobs?"
Her eyes sparkled, glinting radiant purple in the fading light. "If you're lucky, I just might."
Most people have an alarm clock when they wake up. Or at least, they used to anyways. Now everybody just uses their phones or whatever. Point is, they want to get woken up at a specific time, no earlier or later. I didn't get that today.
Instead I was dragged...no, ripped. Torn from the blissful world of dreams by the sounds of lustful moans radiating through the walls that separated my bedroom from Faye's. The muffled cries slowly grew in intensity and fervour, reaching a crescendo....before falling silent. I blinked wearily, eyes slowly adjusting to the light streaming in through the window against my feather duvet. What the hell was that? Was that Faye's voice in the throes of carnal bliss?
I sat up slowly, contemplating the thought as I swept a lock of blonde hair from my eyes with irritat- wait. Blonde hair?
Throwing back the covers, I clambered out of bed and dashed out to the bathroom. Hands grasping, the basin, I stared into the vanity mirror. But where I saw a sexpot Asian woman last night, I saw the same, blonde, cute teenage face that I'd started this ordeal with. You'd think this would be just a mild relief for me, something that would at least take a load off my mind.
But it was way more than that. I felt my heart leap with delight! After my time stuck with a body that was always an inch away from losing control, I was back to being just a normal, cute girl-next-door type. In that one, blissful moment, I couldn't have been happier. I hugged myself around the waist, smile spread across my face as I felt my small breasts squish together beneath the oversized t-shirt I'd worn to bed.
I almost skipped down the hallway, tapping on Faye's door. "Faye! I'm back to normal! Err...wait, I mean girl-normal. You know what I mean."
I heard a scuffle of commotion behind the door, but no sign of any occupant. Moments later, I heard her voice sounding a little distracted. "Really? Okay, cool. That's great. I'll be out in a sec,"
I stretched lazily, walking down the hallway into the living area. The panties I'd stretched to fit over my swollen derriá¨re were now loose on my hips, threatening to fall off if I tried to move too energetically. But I didn't care in the slightest, I was already in too good a mood. Why? Because being stuck as an oversexed nympho had taught me a valuable lesson: Faye's body is amazing, don't get me wrong. But I should have been happier with what I had to start with. Always wanting more, the drive to seek perfection had gotten me into this mess. So for once, I should just keep my mouth shut, my legs closed, and be happy with what I've got right now.
I looked about the living room, expecting to find Bobbie sprawled out on a sofa. Given that whatever Lust had done to me had obviously run it's course, I figured the same must be true for Bobbie as well. But strangely, I couldn't find any sign of her, or the belongings she'd bought with her when she insisted on being no more than several feet from me at any given time.
Time slowed down, and suddenly the puzzle pieces fell into place. Honestly, this was a mystery so simple even the Scooby gang could have solved it: The cries of ecstasy? The awkward greeting? Bobbie had spent the night sleeping in Faye's room.
Awkward.
Well, awkward since I'm pretty sure Bobbie has a boyfriend. And I'm positive that Faye has a girlfriend.
I was looking at the same glass I'd left on the countertop from last night when I heard the crack of Faye's door opening. Faye appeared from the hallway, her lower half clad in a pair of black satin panties, her top half covered by a tight, red babydoll shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra beneath it, which made the tip of her nipples clearly visible though the fabric.
"Uh, morning?" I offered hesitantly.
"Morning. You look good." She smiled pleasantly.
"You too..." I watched her dubiously as she walked past me toward the fridge, Thrall tattoo peeking out from the hemline of her shirt. Even if Bobbie was back to normal like me, I noted that certainly hadn't changed.
She opened up a carton of orange juice, taking a swig straight from the mouth of it. "Something wrong?"
"Uh, no...I just thought Bobbie was staying here. I couldn't see her stuff in the living room."
Faye hesitated for a moment, setting down the carton. "She slept in my room last night."
"Are you crazy?!" I hissed, trying to keep my voice down. "How could you do that?"
"What?" She looked away innocently, but the guilt in her eyes told a different story.
"How could you sleep with her? Aside from making yourself the poster-girl for narcissism, you have a girlfriend, remember?"
"Oh." A look of realization dawned on her. "You mean...you heard us?"
"There are dwarves living in the Underdark who heard you."
A long, drawn-out sigh slipped past her full lips. "It's not what you think."
"Oh really?" I shot back.
She folded her arms beneath her breasts. "You wouldn't understand."
"Then explain it to me until I do."
"It's because we're marked." Came an identical voice from the other side of the room. I jerked my head around to see Bobbie, who was still trapped in Faye's luscious form walking into the living room. She was dressed in Faye's underwear; her curvy body only hidden by lacy black panties and a matching bra that cradled her large breasts. Clearly she'd been raiding Faye's wardrobe.
"You mean the Thrall mark?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my own question.
She nodded, standing on the other side of the counter. "Yeah, the tattoo we both have on our back. Faye's never had one before, because Lust wasn't able to mark her when they first met. But I've had one before."
I looked at Faye, who was just nodding as Bobbie spoke. "So what happened this morning was...?"
She bit her lip, looking sideways as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "It means that we kinda start craving...stimulation. And sometimes we try to satisfy that craving in our sleep without realizing it."
"Oh, right. God killing kittens." I muttered. This was happening a little faster than I expected. "Geez, I thought having morning wood as a guy was bad enough."
"It's definitely not on the same level."
"If it's worth anything, I totally believe you." Which was actually true. My memories of what had happened with Taylor were still very fresh in my mind.
"Much appreciated." Faye remarked, going back to serving herself a bowl of cereal. "Any particular reason for that, given you were about to give me the Spanish inquisition treatment?"
I shot her a dark look. "Trust, remember? Strength to bear the burden and all that?"
"Sorry." She gave me a sheepish look.
I snatched the cereal pack away from her as Bobbie watched, not wanting to get between us. "Besides, I had enough urges like that when I was a busty Asian Playmate."
"Which begs the question of why you're back to being normal, and we're not." Bobbie observed cautiously.
"Like everything else that's happened over the last few days, I do not have the slightest idea why."
"You've still got the ring." Faye mentioned between mouthfuls of cocoa puffs.
I held up a slender hand, noting the pink ring still wrapped tightly around my finger. I'd been so excited earlier that I'd forgotten to check. "Yeah, I guess you can't have everything, huh. Maybe Lust just figured I'd learnt my lesson?"
"Hah." Faye laughed scornfully. "You sure that blonde hair isn't making you a bimbo?"
"Shut up." I muttered darkly.
Bobbie evidently decided it was time to play peacekeeper again. "Let's not turn on each other, okay? We've got enough problems between us without adding to the pile."
Faye considered testing that theory, but decided against it. "Right."
I let out a sigh, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know what else I can do. If I changed back all my myself, there's a chance you both might as well."
"I hope so." Bobbie remarked. "I can lay low for a few days, but after that people are going to start wondering where I've been, and why I'm not working at Cheepskates."
"You can fill in some of my modelling jobs." Faye remarked sarcastically.
"What did I just get through saying?"
"Okay, okay. No fighting. Got it."
I looked at the twin beauties and silently wondered how they ever managed to remain friends. Even if they now looked identical, their personalities couldn't be much more different. If this was a Disney movie, being twins would be fates way of making them see they're not so different beneath the surface. Thankfully it's not a Disney movie, because that would make me Lindsay Lohan.
"Okay, so we just wait it out, I guess." I shrugged my shoulders, pouring milk into my bowl. "That the general consensus?"
"Seconded." Bobbie sighed reluctantly.
"Motion passed." Faye nodded in agreement. "It's not like I have it as bad as you two. If you're prepared to stick it out, I guess I don't have much right to complain."
-------------------------------------------------
So we planned it out from there, trying to think of the best strategy to deal with the situation at hand. School wasn't due to start up until tomorrow, which meant we still had a little breathing room to get on top of things. I wasn't obligated to even go to school, but Faye figured I should at least try it out. After all, if Faye's experience was anything to go by, I'd need to establish a new life for myself. And high school dropout isn't going to get me much further than flipping burgers in this economy. Of course, I could just cook up a fake diploma as well, but I figure the more real credentials I have, the less likely people are to be questioning the fake ones.
I opened the door to my Camero, sliding into the drivers seat. As a girl, the big hunk of steel felt even more monolithic, and I'd had to adjust the seat as far as I could just to be able to drive it properly. I started the engine, feeling it roar to life as I backed out of the driveway and hit the open road. Wind whipped through my blonde locks as I cruised through the open streets of Delacroix, the whole experience feeling strangely liberating.
It's hard to really say why, I guess. Buddhists believe that the ego is the cause of all great suffering in the world. That it burns a hole in our hearts that can never be filled. The same had been true for me as well: I'd spent my whole life focused on what I didn't have, what I'd been denied by the flip of a coin at birth. And even when I'd been given what I wanted most, my life's dream of pure femininity, it still hadn't been enough. I wanted more. I wanted perfection.
I nearly lost my mind when I saw Bobbie attain what I'd struggled with for years in a heartbeat. I thought in that moment, I might lose my mind. How is that fair? Was it Lust's doing, trying to turn the screws so tight that I might break completely? She'd been given perfection and just like Faye, didn't appreciate it the slightest bit.
But that's the crux of the matter. It dawned on me; like an eerie moment of clarity when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning. I was never going to appreciate it either.
Who was I kidding, really? If I had woken up this morning in Faye's body, would it have really been so different? Of course not. I'd still be mad that I only looked like her.
I didn't have her friends.
Her life.
Her thoughts.
Her soul.
That's the truth I was faced with when I spoke to her yesterday, and admitted that I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I can never be her. Trying to be just like her has given me more problems than I ever dreamt possible: It nearly cost me my life, and it's caused two innocent people to be caught up in the mess I've created.
And for what? I'm a girl. One hundred percent, bona-fide female. Rather than focusing on the perfection that I don't deserve, I should be using this gift to create the perfection I've always wanted. No more waiting for handouts. No more illusions of entitlement. I'm going to use what I've been given to forge my own path, my own road. That will be the perfection I pursue from now on.
I glanced at the ring on my finger, glowing faintly as it always seemed to with a life of it's own, even as it caught the rays of the sun. We might be Lust's servants for now, but a queen can be toppled from her throne. Even Ozymandias couldn't halt the march of time.
I touched the brakes, coming to a stop parked along a busy street. With everything that had transpired over the last few days, I felt like my whole life had been turned inside out. I'd been jumping from one foot to another, just trying not to get overwhelmed by the chaos that seemed to follow in my wake. I needed a dose of normality. Something that I could depend on to just make me feel a little more...me.
Experience Point was one of those independent gaming stores that was threatening to be crushed under the heel of Gamestop or digital distribution any day now. They'd managed to survive by diversifying into selling geek apparel, figures, statues, merchandise and retro games. The place was run by Richard, a British (let's try not to hold that against him) guy whom I was good friends with. He usually gave me discounts on stuff and let me hang out when I was bored, which doesn't actually do me a bit of good now since there's no way he's going to recognise me. Still, no reason I can't start from scratch, right?
I stepped inside the modern, clean shopfront, finding my nostrils greeted by the plastic smell of fresh packaging and air-conditioning. There were a couple of other patrons browsing the shelves, and Richard was behind the counter sorting stock. Still, something just felt right...like you can take the guy out of the gender, but you can't take the geek out of the girl.
I walked through aisles slowly, scanning the shelves for anything that might catch my eye. See, a lot of guys like multiplayer shooters like Call of Duty or Battlefield. I can respect that, but they hold no interest for me. I've always been a girl at heart, even if that wasn't reflected physically. And games like that feel like the ultimate in machismo. I've been trying to escape things that radiate masculinity, not embrace them. Besides, there are games that require more skill and finesse than your garden variety FPS...
To me, fighting games like Street Fighter and Marvel vs Capcom are the pinnacle of competitive multiplayer. Why? Because there's no luck involved. When you play an FPS, no matter how skilled you are, there's always an element of luck. Someone might throw a grenade blindly into a room that kills you. They might have just the right weapon. They might spawn camp. They might have a friend show up at the right moment. There's always that wild card element.
But for a fighting purist, there is no luck. It's just you against your opponent. Nowhere to hide, no tools they're not aware of. No sneak attacks or ambushes. It's just skill against skill. Framedata vs framedata. The game runs at sixty frames per second. A punch a has five frames of startup, eight active frames and four recovery. Therefore I know exactly how long it will take every time. You calculate endlessly, weighing up your options, your tools and your resources, all in a fraction of a second. Blitz chess wishes it could be this fast.
"And here I thought you were a Barbie - Horse Adventure kind of girl."
I looked behind me with an air of irritation, but was pleasantly surprised to find Chase standing a few feet away, smiling impishly. His blonde hair was still looking unkempt, though it matched the wifebeater and jeans that clung to his lean frame.
"I don't know, might me a little advanced for me." I shot back.
He shrugged, moving a little closer. "Wasn't expecting to see you here. How you holding up after the other day?"
The other day? Oh, right...the party. Jesus...with everything that's happened since then, somehow the topic of attempted rape had actually moved down on my list of priorities.
"Yeah, we're fine, thanks." I shuddered a little as my mind was cast back to the events of the party only two nights ago. "Things have just been hectic. How are things on your end?"
He clenched his teeth in frustration just enough to notice. "Not as good as I would have hoped. Talked to coach about it, and he's promised to reprimand the players. But I think that's about as far as it's going to go."
"Great, so....nothing then?"
"I put the fear of god into them, so they won't try it again with you." He paused for a moment. "Sorry, I guess that's not much consolation."
I put down the game I was looking at, and started browsing again. "Not really, no."
He looked a little anxious, stepping into line beside me. "Lemme make it up to you, at least."
"What, are you going to break their dicks off or something?"
He looked away awkwardly. "No...I was more thinking that I could take you out somewhere. Try and make up for the shitty evening."
I rolled my eyes, speaking in a syrupy tone. "Oh, that's so sweet. I had no idea you were so sensitive and thoughtful!"
"Hey, I'm trying to help here." He protested.
"You always try to use dinner and a movie as hush money?"
"I'm on your side, remember?" He folded his arms, shifting his weight to one foot. "You want to go to the cops, be my guest. But I told you, this is nothing new for them. They'll just say you're making up stories to ruin the reputation of the towns best football team. That you were drunk, you let things go too far and you regretted it later."
I gave him a disgusted look. "So I'm just supposed to shut up, enjoy a fancy dinner and play arm-candy for a night?"
He rolled his eyes in frustration. "You're going to make it so there's nothing I can say here that's right, aren't you?"
I pursed my lips, realizing the truth of the matter: I was taking out my frustrations on him, despite the fact that he really was trying to be the good guy, albeit in a self-serving kind of way. Besides, despite my apprehension, going out with a guy might be kinda fun...even if my male ego was struggling to accept the reality of such a concept, the rest of me was secretly thrilled by the idea.
But on the other hand, I wasn't going to make it easy. "Fine. Play me at Street Fighter. First to five."
He gave me a haphazard look. "I do not have the slightest idea of how to play that game."
"Thought you said I was a Barbie kind of girl?"
"True..." He hesitated. "...fine, alright. You're on."
"Hey Richard, can we get a hookup going over here?" I pointed to one of the display consoles that was currently running demos for the customers. "I've got a scrub to body."
Richard gave me a quizzical look, and I realized that he still had no idea who I am. "Uh...sorry, not sure I get what you mean."
Chase cut in. "Come on dude. Do me a solid? If I win I get to take her to dinner."
Unlike me, it seemed that Richard knew Chase, at least on basic terms. "Fine. But you two better buy something."
A few minutes later, we had Street Fighter running on the store display. Normally I played with a custom arcade stick, but this time I was going to have to settle for game pads. The patrons of the store gathered around as we selected our characters. I picked the evil and sadistic Juri, while he settled on the noble warrior Ryu. As soon as the first round began, the difference in skill was obvious: He fumbled about jumping randomly, mashing buttons in the hope he might make something happen. I on the other hand, was quick, clean, methodical and thorough. Bread and butter combos flowed, links left his character teetering on the brink of stun, and one round after another fell for me. With each loss, hype in the crowd built exponentially. They went from quiet whispers to shouts of adulation, pouring salt on Chase's wounds as he began to sweat visibly.
In a few short minutes, the contest was over: He'd been decimated, five games to one. Would have been five zero, but I tossed in a mercy round. Always K.O. with kindness, I say.
"Holy shit, you can really play." Richard remarked, as Chase tried to pick up the pieces of his dignity in silence.
I shrugged my shoulders like it was no big deal, lapping up the attention flowing from Richard and the other patrons. "Yeah, I've got skills."
His smile grew a little wider. "Want a job?"
I felt a ripple of surprise move through me. "A job, are you serious?"
"Sure. I've had an opening for a few days." He said, gesturing to a HELP WANTED sign printed on the sales counter. "Last sales guy quit, and I've been looking to fill his place. Got a ton of resumes from high school kids I can't be bothered to sort through."
"What makes you think I'd do better than any of them?"
Chase scoffed. "A girl who can play video games? That's a rare bird."
Richard smiled awkwardly. "Not quite the way I'd put it, but that's one way to say it."
I bit my lip, suddenly realizing that everyone in the store was looking at me expectantly. The truth was that I could probably use the job. Most of my money came from freelance graphic work between college classes. But since that was off the table..."Okay, let me give it some thought."
Richard handed me a business card with his details on it. I looked at it for a moment, before sliding it into my pocket. "Thanks."
The crowd of young men began to disperse, and I tried to settle the butterflies in my stomach as I looked to Chase. He smiled sheepishly, setting down his controller. "Guess that means I don't get to take you out after all?"
I grinned like he owed me owed me money, and started walking toward the door. "I just said you had to play me. I never said anything about winning."
I knew there would be trouble the moment I returned home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pessimist...despite what the last few days might have led you to believe. It was more due to the fact that Rachael's car was parked in the driveway. Rachael was Faye's steady girlfriend of the last two or so years, and unlike most people, she actually knew about Faye's past and history as a man. So that wasn't an issue.
Rather, I suspected the fact that there were two Faye's occupying the hose she lived in that might prove far more contentious.
Opening the front door, I was prepared for a lot of things: Screaming. Fainting. Hot dog eating contest (I like to cast a wide net), but I have to confess the sight that greeted me wasn't on my list. I stepped inside to see Rachael; a blonde girl in her late teens not unlike myself, slug Bobbie with enough force to send her toppling over the back of the sofa.
"Rach!" Faye protested. "What the hell?!"
Rachael levelled a finger at Faye. "Oh no, you don't get to tell me what to do. She deserved that. You know it, I know it, and she -definitely- knows it."
I stared in silence, watching as the athletic young woman grabbed her handbag and stormed right past me. "Forget you two. I'm out."
Faye dashed after her, pleading with her to stay. "You know this wasn't my fault, I already told you..."
The two of them disappeared into the front yard, and their voices trailed off for several seconds beyond that. Naturally, part of me was more than a little curious to see what had transpired, but I knew better than to try and intervene. Instead I moved over to where the Faye with green streaked hair lay behind the couch, nursing her jaw.
"Holy shit, are you okay?" I knelt down beside Bobbie, helping her to her feet. "She really laid you out there."
Bobbie rubbed her jaw absently. "Yeah, I think so...Girl has a punch like Ivan Drago."
"Want to tell me what that was about?"
Bobbie let out a reluctant sigh. "She showed up unannounced, looking to surprise Faye with some movie tickets she'd won. Obviously when she saw both of us, a little bit of explanation was required."
I gave her a quizzical look. "Rachael put you on your ass because you look like Faye?"
Bobbie looked away nervously. "That....and a few other things. Stuff that happened a while ago during the switch. I felt like I needed to fess up."
I smiled faintly. "No good deed goes unpunished, huh?"
"I could have timed it a little better. In hindsight I might have laid it on a little thick, given our current problems."
I turned my gaze back on the door. "Guess that explains why Faye's in damage control."
Bobbie leant against the sofa, folding her arms as she followed my gaze. "Like she said, it's not exactly like any of us asked for this."
"Except me." I said quietly, suddenly feeling like once again, everything was my fault.
"You asked for it, but not like this." She offered thoughtfully. "If you'd know everything that was going to happen...?"
"I'd have told Lust to get fucked?"
"Exactly." She smiled faintly. "So don't beat yourself up...or at least too much, anyway. Your hands aren't as dirty as you think."
I raised an eyebrow. "So where exactly does that leave us?"
Bobbie craned her neck, working out a couple of loud popping sounds. "I need to bake something."
"Seriously?"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing..." I shrugged my shoulders. "...Just seems a weird way to cope: Disregard assault, acquire baked goods."
"Shut up." She said with an air of irritation as she walked toward the kitchen. Girl had been Faye less than a day and she already had Faye's token dismissal down pat. "Are you going to help me or not?"
I gave her a confused look. "Uh, me? Yeah, sure. I guess."
Bobbie walked to the kitchen and began digging through the cupboards, pulling out bowls and mixing utensils as she moved from one to the next. I hung back, not at all sure what I could do help given that she seemed to be a girl on a mission.
I eventually spoke up. "You want some ice for your jaw?"
"No thanks. Might be sore for a day or two, but I think I'll manage." Eggs, flour, and an assortment of other ingredients grew like an army on the counter as Bobbie continued her impromptu scavenger hunt.
I looked away, lowering my voice in case Faye might somehow hear, despite the fact she was probably halfway down the street arguing with Rachael. "So what's it feel like?"
"Getting sucker punched? Can't say I'm a fan."
I narrowed my eyes, unsure if she was being deliberately obtuse, or it was something practiced. "No, I mean being Faye."
She stopped long enough to look down at herself. "It's nice, I guess."
I looked at her curiously. "That's all?"
"You're really hung up on her, aren't you?"
My mind was cast back to yesterday's conversation in the bakery, telling her how everything that had happened was born out of the need to claim my so-called destiny that she'd stolen.
"Not really. I mean, not anymore at least."
She looked at me with an air of uncertainty. "Are you sure? Just yesterday you'd have stepped on nuns for a shot at being her."
I leant back against the counter, nodding my head as she began mixing ingredients in one of the larger bowls. "I guess...I just decided not to worry about it any more. I mean, I'm a girl; isn't that enough?"
"God, I hope so." She smiled mischievously. "I don't think I can take any more insanity. Feel like the crazy train hasn't stopped since you came to visit."
"Yeah...sorry about that."
"I told you not to worry about it." She said offhandedly.
I shook my head slowly. "But you're a thrall as well."
A long hiss slid between her teeth. "...yeah. I've had to deal with that before."
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Honestly?" She kept stirring the ingredients, throwing in a cup of milk duds. "I don't know. This feels different to the last time. It's not as intense...but I think it's slowly building up as time progresses."
Shards of ice froze in my gut. "So it's going to get worse?"
"Maybe. Like I said, it's hard to say after just a day."
I clenched my teeth lightly. "Jesus. So what does it do? I mean, Lust kind of mentioned it in passing, just that you were marked as a servant."
"Well, you know about the libido..." She smiled darkly. "...but the rest? Hard to explain, really. It's like...like you have total freedom. Every chain that society has ever wrapped around you is broken. Want? Take. Horny? Sex. Nothing matters except following your own desires and seeing where they take you. That's why it's so dangerous: Being a Thrall doesn't make you a bad girl. It just makes you -want- to be a bad girl."
I swallowed hard. Just like the night with Taylor...the only thing that had kept me from acting on my desires was the fact that I'd been so terrified of sex to begin with. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved it was Bobbie in that situation now, and not me.
"Have you told Faye?"
Bobbie nodded, as she began scooping out the brown mush from the bowl, setting it on a greased baking tray. "A little, enough to explain why she woke up moaning like a porn star."
I quirked an eyebrow. "What about the rest?"
Bobbie darted her eyes toward the door. "I think she has enough on her plate right now. I'll tell her when the time is right."
If I had a week, I couldn't explain everything wrong with that idea. "And in the meantime?"
She slid the tray into the oven, closed it, and set the dials as it hummed to life. "Now? We can relax while the cookies bake. There's nothing my cookies can't fix."
-------------------------------------------------
When Faye eventually returned nearly an hour later, she was exhausted. Normally, Rachael was the doting girlfriend to Faye's more aggressive, headstrong personality. So for her to draw a line in the sand like this, must have meant that she was -really- pissed off this time. I gave Faye a concerned look as she collapsed onto the sofa with all the dramatic flair she could muster, clearly looking for a little sympathy from the audience.
"So how'd everything go?"
Faye groaned, trying to get comfortable as she wriggled her ample derriá¨re against the sofa. "Awful. She's going to tell Zoe everything that's happened, so I can't wait to go through that a second time."
I spoke deliberately, making sure she understood what I was driving at. "But she did forgive you, right?"
"Eventually." She muttered, rolling her eyes. "Christ, I hope there's angry make up sex in this for me somewhere."
Given how Faye wasn't completely aware of what the tattoo on her back represented, the mention of sex made me a little uneasy. I took another bite from one of Bobbie's cookies, savouring the smooth, sweet taste. "I hope you two work it out."
Faye sighed a little and sat up, snatching a cookie off the plate Bobbie had set on the coffee table. "She'll be fine. Just needs some time to cool off, I think."
Bobbie was sitting in an armchair next to Faye, tapping away on a Xbox controller as she stared intently at the television. "You think that's bad? Wait until I have to tell my boyfriend about all this."
"You're going to tell Tim?" I gave her a haphazard look.
Bobbie reluctantly paused the game, turning around to face me. "I don't know. If we find a way to undo this really quickly? Maybe not. But he's already been texting me, asking why I'm not at the bakery."
"Crap." I whispered. "Can't keep him away, huh?"
Bobbie shook her head. "Nope. and besides, I have the same dilemma with my roomie as well. I can keep them placated for now, but a few more days and I'm going to owe them an explanation as to where I've disappeared to."
I ran a hand through my hair, trailing fingers through long, golden locks. "So what can we do then? I'm open to suggestions."
Faye chewed on her cookie thoughtfully. "We help you find a way to fix all of this?"
"How?" I looked at her helplessly. "I keep telling you I don't know what I did to change either of you in the first place."
Bobbie held up a hand. "Hold on a second, that's not a bad idea."
"Oh, so now you're ganging up on me?"
"It's not like that." Bobbie gave me a stern look. "Faye has a point, just think about it: We know Lust has done something special to you. It's why you're a Lilith and we're Thralls."
I nodded my head apprehensively. "Okay, with you so far."
"And we also know you were affecting Taylor somehow. You said there was the beginnings of a Thrall mark on his back."
"Maybe." I said defensively. "It could have just been a rash."
Faye finished wolfing down her first cookie, and eagerly went to work on her second. "What if it wasn't?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay, well maybe I did have that effect? I still don't know how I did it."
"So it's instinctive?"
I tried to picture if that might be the case. "I guess? Maybe....I still don't know a whole lot about this ring or what it does to me."
Faye smirked darkly. "We know what it made you look like."
"Not cool." I muttered, scowling at her as she finished another cookie.
"You want to go easy on those?" Bobbie gave her a cautious look. "I made them for everyone."
"Excess weight goes straight to your tits, right Faye?" I ventured sarcastically.
She remained unfazed. "At least then you'll have a way to tell us apart."
"Let's stay on topic, shall we?" Bobbie said, trying to calm us both down. "We should instea..d fo...cus ont he pr..o...."
Her words trailed off, fading into white noise as I felt the whole world grow dimmer around me. Lights were swallowed up by darkness, sensations faded into nothingness. This wasn't like before when I'd felt Lust's voice in my head. It wasn't even like when she distorted the world around me, paying a personal visit to torment me for my mistakes. The world itself vanished around me as I was sent plummeting into an endless void. I was being torn away from myself, cast into a place where I was nothing more than a spectator. An observer who could only watch as someone else took control of my body. Someone who spoke with my voice, touched with my hands. I was trapped, sealed away in a cage as where not a single soul could hear me scream for release. No one except for....
------------------ Lust------------------
I opened my eyes slowly, making sure to drink in every sight they came to rest upon. Time in the world of the living is a fleeting thing, and it's been far too long since I had an opportunity to feel the breath of air on my skin, or the taste of food on my lips. After all, what's the point in living if you can't savour the little things?
"We should instead focus on the problems at hand, right? Bobbie looked at me expectantly.
I smiled, baring my teeth like a predator. This part is always the most fun, the moment of confused innocence when they haven't yet realized there's a wolf amongst the sheep.
"I'd say you're out of your depth. But you already knew that, didn't you?"
Oh, that confused look on her face. It's priceless. How I'd like nothing better than to play her like a violin before cutting the strings...
"Wait, what?" She furrowed her brow. "I don't know what you mean."
I gazed at her with unflinching resolve. "You wore my mark not so long ago. Did you really think I had forgotten? That I wouldn't return to claim what belongs to me?"
I'll give Faye credit: She worked it out a shade faster than Bobbie did. But she always was my favourite. I've had so many failures in the past, she was the first in centuries to show any real promise as a Thrall.
"You bitch." She hissed between clenched teeth. "You're not Nikki at all, are you?"
I looked at her innocently. "What was your first clue?"
She didn't hesitate even for a moment. Even though I was controlling her best friends lovely little body. Nothing mattered except satisfying the explosion of hatred and contempt that poured from her heart like a volcano. She lunged at me, hands twisted into claws that would wrap about my neck and choke the life from this mortal vessel if given half a chance.
That wasn't a chance I was prepared to give her. I flicked my wrist, forming a simple gesture required almost no energy at all. But the effect was immediate and drastic: The mark on her back flared to life, and instantly her legs gave out from under her as she toppled to the floor into a moaning, writhing heap.
"Oh my god..." Bobbie stared at her twin with a mix of shock and strange curiosity. "..what did you do?"
I smiled tightly. "My name is Lust, after all."
She backed away a touch, eyes not leaving Faye who was groaning softly in a state of purely addled desire, hands roaming about her body without an inch of shame or modestly. "Don't you think that's a little much?"
I shook my head slowly. "You don't get a say in the matter. You're all my property."
Fear grew in her eyes as the implications of what I said began to sink in. "No way..."
"You should be grateful I didn't do more." I felt my tongue play across my lips. "It's hard to step on ants without crushing them."
"What do you want from us?" She looked at me with eyes filled with desperation and dismay. "Haven't you done enough already?"
I moved closer to her, causing her to retreat backwards another step, away from the near orgasmic moans and cries emanating from Faye's besieged form, which was tearing desperately at her clothes in an attempt to strip them off. "What I want is very simple: I want to be free. To escape from Limbo and never go back. That is what I was promised, I am simply collecting on a debt owed to me."
"Nick...she let you take her over? She agreed to that?" She was aghast now, fear motivating her every action and response.
My lips twisted into a vicious smile. "You'd be very surprised what you can agree to when you're about to die."
Her eyes darted back to Faye, before swallowing nervously. "But what about Faye and I?"
"Oh, that's the best part." I kept my eyes locked with her, never flinching. Never blinking. "You're both Thralls, bound to my service. I made the mistake of giving Faye too much freedom once, I won't make the mistake again. You'll both do exactly as I say, when I say it. You will not deviate from my service. You will not question your obligation. If I see so much a glimmer of rebellion from any of you, I will destroy your lives in ways you haven't even thought possible. And I'll make you love every second if it. "
"Oh god..." She whispered.
"God?" My face was inches from hers, baring my teeth. "There is no god that can save you, no favours from other Aspects to call in. You belong to me, body and soul. Do you understand?"
She nodded wordlessly.
I drew back slightly, letting my aggressive demeanour fall away as a smile settled once more on my face. "Good. Because I have a lot to accomplish, and not much time to do it in."
The cries of ecstasy radiating from Faye permeated the air between us. I pursed my lips, contemplating her fate for a moment. Using energy in this state was dangerous, and I'd already used too much getting my point across to Faye and Bobbie. However, I had to admit that it wouldn't make her particularly useful for what I had planned ahead. Begrudgingly, I made another small gesture with my left hand, and like flipping a switch, her moans of passion quickly died away, leaving her panting softly, naked body covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Thank you..." Bobbie said quietly, eyes settling on Faye, who seemed to be equal parts of exhausted and confused.
I nodded slowly. "That was a gesture of good faith. If you behave yourselves and do as I tell you, I promise that not only will I release you when this is over, but I'll treat you so well, you may not even want me to."
Bobbie hesitated, clearly sensing how carefully I'd chosen my words. I could respect that if it wasn't so irritating. "You were talking about us. What happens to Nick?"
I narrowed my eyes, making sure she heard the edge cutting through my pleasant tone. "I'd spend more time worrying about myself if I were you."
"But...you're just going to take her over?"
Clearly another lesson is needed here. "Don't make me repeat mys-"
Just then, I felt his presence slither past the edge of my awareness. It was cold, dark and utterly overwhelming, like the pit of a frozen abyss. I thought I had more time. I thought....no, this was my fault. He's been searching for me ceaselessly, bound and determined to find me no matter how long it took. Using my energy was like lighting up a beacon, drawing him to me through the void. I had only a handful of seconds, a minute at best to make my escape before he knew exactly where I was.
And there would be no more hiding once he found me.
I clenched my teeth, cursing under my breath. "Damn, what do you know? It looks like I'm out of time."
Bobbie gave me a confused look, even as I began to loosen my grip on Nikki's mind. I smiled faintly, watching as darkness began to close in around the edges of my vision. "Still, I wouldn't want you to forget: You're mine. All of you. And I'll be back soon enough to finish what I've started here."
"You're leaving, just like that?" She looked as though she was afraid to hope what she said was true.
"That's right." I nodded. "But I'll be keeping an eye on you. Watching. Waiting. Holding my breath."
She stared at me, lips trembling slightly. The darkness had almost consumed my vision, and it would be only moments before I slipped back into Limbo and went into hiding again, leaving Nikki free to control her body once more. "Just one more piece of advice before I go..."
"And that is?"
"...you think I'm doing this to hurt you? Torment you? I'm saving you. Once Fear finds you, you'll wish you were as dead as Nikki was back on the bathroom floor."
Authors note: Apologies for the wait on this chapter. I know I did say I was going to try and get chapters out more frequently, but the truth is that this story is much, much bigger than I originally planned. By comparison, Adam's Song was easy: Turn a guy into a girl, write about the wackyness that ensues. But this is a much bigger story, which now has to tie in things like the lore building up around the universe, several new characters, characters from Chefness's "Platinum Chef" and soforth. I do still enjoy writing, but I just need to spend a lot more time plotting and bouncing ideas around to make sure everything works and doesn't seem too far fetched.
That said, -please- leave a comment if you enjoyed the story! Even just a random "Hey, great job!" is better than nothing.
Lastly, check out my Deviant Art page for more stuff and sexyness that's story related: http://red-gambit.deviantart.com/
Chapter one:
You may not know this, but a funny thing happens when your consciousness is torn from your body so that a Lust spirit can turn you into their own personal flesh puppet. See, I've heard Faye talk about it but I never really had a chance to appreciate it until now: the universe is built on a balance. It's the whole Yin-Yang thing. You can't give without taking, and you can't get without giving. It's a basic principle of physics. Matter can neither be created or destroyed, it can only be transformed or repurposed. Get what I'm saying here? Yeah, okay kind a muddy. But the point remains the same.
I'm not even sure Lust realises it, but when she took my body over, I didn't disappear. I wasn't relegated to the passenger seat while she did all the driving. Whatever her power was, it acted as a gateway: She was able to travel to the mortal plane and inhabit my body. Want to know what that means? It means that since she was inhabiting my space, I was inhabiting her space. I had a glimpse of the world she resides in while she was hanging out in mine.
I found myself standing in the abandoned hospital once more, there very same one I'd seen when Lust spared me from death. Barren rooms echoed with every step I took, the sound of my footsteps scraped and scratched with debris and dust underfoot. I shouldn't have expected anything different, I mused as I trace a finger over a set of instruments laying next to an empty bed. Everything about this forsaken place radiated emptiness, solitude and silence. If you stood still long enough, the sound of your heart beating might completely overwhelm you.
Stillness is what the Taoists crave. But in here, it only leads to atrophy and rot.
Besides, there was another problem that I hadn't yet considered: Until now I'd thought that I was completely alone.
"You're not Lust. What are you doing here?"
I spun about, gaze falling on the space that was unoccupied until a moment ago. A tall, athletic man stood before me. His body was clad entirely in black clothing, a stark contrast to the blonde hair he kept slicked back and trimmed neatly. By all accounts her seemed relatively normal, at least compared to Lust's penchant for constantly appearing as someone else's doppelganger.
But that was before I saw his eyes.
His eyes, lipid pools of red and black, instantly began to draw me in. They were so cold, empty and lifeless. Devoid of any concern or fear, they radiated a power that threatened to shatter me completely with a single glance. I was a spec of dust caught in a hurricane.
I let out a ragged gasp, tearing my eyes away from his as I staggered backward. He showed no concern or empathy for my sudden discomfort, he simply repeated his question.
"What are you doing here?"
"I don't know..." I steadied myself against a gurney, hands clutching onto a dusty sheet. "Something happened, she took me over. I mean, the real me. Back in reality."
He paused, craning his neck to look at me curiously. "Reality?"
I nodded, slowly regaining my composure. "Yes, reality. You know...Earth? America?"
Lust would have smiled. Chided me for speaking in such simple terms to a being who has witnessed the birth of an entire continent. Seen civilizations rise and fall. This man did not smile.
He simply fixed those cold, unflinching eyes upon me. "You're a Lillith, aren't you little one?"
I nodded hesitantly, trembling slightly. Everything about this man radiated...raw, untainted contempt. Loathing. Not for me, but for what I was. For life itself. He despised me for having the audacity to even exist in the first place.
"So that's her game. She wants to escape to another realm all together."
"I think so...y-yeah."
His hand came to rest around my throat. His fingers were like steel beams that could snap my neck on a whim. I wanted to move. To run, scream for help, beg forgiveness for any transgressions I'd made. But I was paralysed. Terror gripped my whole being, rendering me incapable of the slightest action, other than to stare at him in total desperation.
At any moment, I felt like the steel trap around my neck would snap shut, ending my life the way it should have back on the bathroom floor. But instead, his hand drew away from my throat, releasing me from his grip. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to comprehend what had just transpired. My chest heaved with every sob, as I struggled to find any strength left in my limbs to stand.
"Who the hell are you...what do you want from me?" I choked out between sobs.
He turned his back from me, clearly thinking about something else. "You should be thankful I haven't done more. It's hard to step on ants without crushing them."
I didn't know what to say. He seemed to sense that helplessness, leaning in closely, hot breath almost burning my neck. "You are weak. You gave yourself up to fulfil an empty fantasy, becoming a puppet of Lust. A plaything. New change of clothes for when she's ready to walk amongst mortals."
I could only nod slowly in agreement. Not to placate the monster...everything he'd said was true. Becoming a girl hadn't made me any more satisfied or content. It hadn't filled the void in my life that threatened to consume me every waking moment. All it had done was serve to remind me that even in another gender, I was still inferior in one way or another. That I could never transcend or surpass my limitations.
"She's going to eat you up. When she's done there will be nothing left of you but the empty shell which she will inhabit. Unzipping her lips to wear your smile. You'd have been better off dead: At least then you could rejoin the chorus. Now there's nothing but oblivion to await you."
That was it...That was the deal I'd struck with her? Memories of our bargain suddenly came flooding back to me, as if a seal within my mind had been broken. I remembered what she'd promised me...a few sweet weeks, maybe months at best as a true female. A chance to experience everything I'd ever wanted, she promised, before she needed to take what she had created for herself.
Any rational person might ask why I'd agree to such terms. You'd be surprised what you can agree to when your life hangs by a thread. But with the memories I'd had hidden away also came the emotions, an outpouring of despair and grief washed over me. It was dark, oppressive and heavy...enveloping me completely, smoothing me to the point where even drawing breath felt like a task that was not worth the promise a few more seconds of life. I remembered the real reason I accepted her offer.
I had nothing left to live for. No reason. No purpose. And without purpose, what right does anything have to exist?
In that moment, his eyes widened with realisation. He sensed the shift within me, and a look of pleasant surprise crossed his face. I fell to the floor, breath coming in short, sharp gasps..
"You don't fear death, do you?" He asked rhetorically, studying me as I fought to regain control of myself. "That's an admirable quality."
"...what are you talking about....?"
He began to circle me slowly, each measured footstep caused dust and debris to crackle underfoot. "Lust feeds on pleasure and selfish greed. Justice sustains herself with noble and selfless acts. There are other Aspects of course, but I'm sure you've already figured that out. Without those chosen few they take to champion their cause, they would crumble and scatter like dust in the wind. And they need champions who can pay tribute, because no-one can be king without a kingdom to rule."
I sat up slowly, tears still running down my cheeks as I rubbed a hand against my throat where he'd held me. "What's your point?"
He stopped, steely gaze fixing on me once more. "I am Fear. Fear is the oldest and most powerful emotion of all. When the very first human gained self awareness, he grew afraid it could be taken away. Fear is the most base of all instincts. The need for self preservation is built upon it's very foundation."
"So what, you're asking me to work for you instead? I've had just about enough of dancing to other peoples tunes."
He threw his head back and laughed. "What use would I have for you? Fear is so powerful, so deeply ingrained into the thoughts of every single human to walk the earth, I have no need for Thralls or Advocates. Humanity itself feeds me by it's continued existence."
I gritted my teeth, anger and humiliation welling up within me...once again I've been used, and now I'm worthless. Doesn't matter if it's by my friends, Lust or some brain-donor football jock. Everyone just takes what they want.
"So just kill me then." I muttered, gazing up at him defiantly. "I'm through being anyone's plaything."
"If I killed you here and now, I might lose track of Lust forever. For now, you may continue to serve as the live bait for the big catch."
I clambered to my feet, hands clenched at my sides. "I told you I'm done with being a pawn! Find someone else!"
At that moment, I felt a darkness begin to creep in around me. The world was growing smaller, more faint as I felt myself being pulled away somehow. The sardonic smile that graced Fear's face faded with the light, as did all traces of warmth left in his expression.
"How embarrassing...I thought it went without saying that I do not care."
-------------------------------------------
Everything is dark...I can't see. I can't hear. I can't breathe. Oh god, I'm suffocating aren't I? That man...he's chased me down to wherever Lust was taking me. He's finishing the job he started, robbing my lungs of air. Of life. It can't end like this, not again, no-
I'm face down in the sofa, aren't I?
Jerking my head back, I opened my mouth to be greeted with the sweet taste of oxygen filling my lungs once more. Blonde hair cascaded into my vision as I became dimly aware of my surroundings: I was back home, laying on the sofa. What the hell happened? One minute I was talking shop with Bobbie and Faye, the next I'd been sucked into the Phantom Zone.
Glancing about, I caught a sight of a figure lying on the ground not far from me. It was Faye, I could tell that much by her hair color compared to Bobbie. She was bare-assed naked, her clothing strewn about the living room, one hand buried between her thighs, the other draped across her breasts, which rose and fell slowly with each breath. If I wasn't getting over having just been sucked into another dimension just to be choked to the verge of death by a monstrous hate-entity, I'd probably be pretty turned on by the sight.
Okay, so maybe it's still a little arousing. Jesus, are all of Lust's creations complete nympho's, or did we just luck out?
"Oh thank god, you're awake!" Said Faye's identical twin Bobbie, dashing in from the hallway. "I was starting to get worried I'd have to call 911 and try to explain all of this."
I shook my head, still a little groggy as I sat up. "Yeah, I guess so...What the hell happened after Lust did...whatever the hell it was that she did?"
Bobbie bit her lip, looking hesitant. "Uh, you mean took you over?"
I feel like I'm caught in an episode of a Joss Whedon fanfic. "Yeah. Possessed, taken over. Whatever. Just tell me what happened."
She ran a hand through her green and black hair. "It's all kind of a blur. She started talking about how she was going to finish what she'd started with Faye, make us her servants. But she was interrupted. Something freaked her out, she called it...Fear. I think it's another Aspect, just like Lust."
Aspects, huh? Fear said the same thing. Guess he wasn't lying.
Bobbie gave me a confused look. "I've got no idea who that is. She just mentioned something about Fear, then she...well, you passed out."
I rubbed a hand against my face, still trying to shake away the last vestiges of a restless sleep. I stood up from the couch, wobbling slightly before regaining my balance. I guess having your consciousness yanked about like a puppet on strings really knocks it out of you. "Yeah, I think we've met."
She looked at me, aghast. "You're kidding."
"I wish."
She fidgeted with her top, clearly not used to having breasts as large as what she now possessed, straining at the fabric. "Lust said he was bad news. She might have been lying, but-"
"She wasn't." I shook my head. "He's looking for her in a bad way. And we're the bait to lure her out."
A groan resonated from behind the sofa, and I saw Faye poke her head out a few moments later. "What the hell happened? I feel like somebody hit me with a truck."
Her twin looked at her dubiously, folding her arms beneath her chest. "You pissed off Lust, she cranked your libido up to the point where you started tearing off your clothes infront of us."
Faye stopped in her tracks, looking down at her naked body. "That....explains a lot."
"You don't remember?"
Faye was picking up her clothes from the floor, showing little interest in preserving her modesty from our wandering eyes. "Oh I remember. I was kinda just hoping it was a dream."
"So what do we do?" Bobbie looked at me helplessly.
"You can start by putting your clothes on." I chided Faye.
She flipped me a bird, carrying the bundle of discarded garments under her arm. "Fuck you. I can tell you're enjoying the show "
Bobbie waited until she'd sauntered off down the hallway, hips swaying enticingly enough to highlight the glowing Thrall tattoo on the small of her back. A sign of Lust's ownership.
"Okay...Uh, like I was saying?"
I gritted my teeth. I was living on borrowed timed. Lust was going to take me over first chance I gave her, and after that...there'd be nothing left. Not even an observer, I'd simply cease to exist. The idea gnawed at my insides, clawing and scraping with rusted nails. I'd given up everything to satisfy a desire that had left me feeling no more satisfied than when I was a man.
Should I just give up? Accept the inevitable and spend what little time I had left saying goodbye to the people I cared about?
For a moment I felt I might burst into tears. I began thinking about how I could have done things differently, dredging up memories wondering if there was some aspect of our bargain, some detail I'd overlooked that could somehow buy me a little more time or perhaps a reprieve. But as my mind wandered back through the days, I remembered the party...how I'd nearly been raped and humiliated along with Faye. I remembered how Chase told me the guys responsible wouldn't receive more than a slap on the wrist thanks to their place on the team and affluent parents.
The despair that threatened to overwhelmed me was turned back by a fire that flooded my waifish body with a strength and intensity I didn't think possible. New resolve saturated my synapses, as I clenched my teeth tightly enough that I could taste blood. No...if this is it for me. If this is all the time I have left, someone has to pay. Someone has to suffer as I have suffered. I need to ensure that even if I am gone, that some people can never forget me or the depth of the pain I've felt at their hands.
I will not fade away and become a memory. Not before I've had my revenge.
-------------------------------------------
The next morning I awoke to the sensation of my hand sliding between my thighs, teasing and probing the velvet lips of my vagina. I arched my back, a guttural moan escaping my lips as I felt the sheets cling to my bare skin. The most primal parts of my brain were already leaping into action before reason and logic had a chance to get on the field. The sensations were so intense and utterly delightful, coursing through me, filling me with a yawing need and hunger for mor-
No. No...not now. I had to control myself. If I gave in any more, I might risk changing back into the oversexed nymphette that ran away to Taylor. I needed to stay as I was, at least for the moment. I had too much planned for today to waste time trying not to fuck half the campus at Delacroix U. Besides, I needed to save an appearance from my alter ego for something a little more...advantageous.
Pulling my hand from my crotch, I didn't even give myself time to think about how good an idea this was as I moved it to my mouth and bit down hard on my extended thumb. The pain was intense, probably moreso than I'd planned for, but it definitely managed to kill the mood. I peeled the sheets off me, which were clinging to my skin from the sweat of my nocturnal activity and sat up, trying not to linger on how gross they felt.
I'd laid awake for hours in bed last night. Unable to sleep. Unable to think of anything but how I was going to make the most of the time I had left, however long it may be. A lot of people in my position would simply grab the closest sharp object, go to school, wait until the Blue Devils held their football practice and then get all stabby. Most people are clearly not me.
See, if you want to hurt someone. Really hurt them, you don't kill them. After all, death is only an instant of pain, I should know. To truly damage someone beyond all hope of repair, the trick lies in hurting them so badly that they -wish- they were dead.
And if I wanted to do that, I would need to get close to this trio. Work my way into their confidence. Gain their trust. Learn their secrets. Expose their weakness. I needed to know exactly what they held most precious in the whole world.
Why? So I can take it away from them.
A tight smile spread across my lips as I stood up and began looking for some clothes to wear. Beware the fury of a patient woman.
Digging through the pile of clothes Faye and I had sourced, I pulled out a few different garments and began to dress myself. Putting on women's underwear was starting to feel more natural now, as was slipping on what had previously been an impossibly small hoodie only to find it fit quite comfortably. Perspective is an incredibly subjective thing after all.
As I strode past Faye's room toward the kitchen, I could hear muffled moans and cries beginning to rise in pitch and intensity, signalling the twins awakening. It seemed almost absurd when I thought about that...we were a house full of seductive, alluring young women made for sex and pleasure by an entity that embodied desire itself. SyFy have bankrolled films with more believable premises.
Inside the kitchen I began fixing myself a bowl of Fruit Loops. I was reminded as I took a sugary spoonful that rather than putting on weight, Faye's breasts actually grew larger instead. It was something she's mentioned in passing a few times, probably one of the tricks Lust puts in all her Thralls to ensure that they looked their most alluring at all times, regardless of how they treated themselves.
I wondered if the same might hold true for Bobbie since she seemed to be identical to Faye in almost every regard. Probably. Myself on the other hand...probably not. Lust had already ensured that I could turn into an Asian sexpot at the drop of a hat, so excess carbohydrates probably have a different surprise waiting for me.
The door to the bedroom cracked open and Faye strode out, looking dishevelled and wearing a black "Ramones" t-shirt wit similar panties. I knew it was her without even looking at her hair...Must be the attitude.
"I heard you waking up." She said with a sly grin. "Best alarm clock in the world, huh?"
My cheeks flushed as I swallowed the mouthful of Columbian-grade sugar. "...Might take some getting used to."
She took the box from where I'd set it down on the counter, and tossed a few dry pieces into her mouth. "I know you can hear me. Walls in this place are paper-thin,"
I narrowed my eyes. "You sound like you're enjoying this. Weren't you the one telling me a few days ago how fucked up this all was?"
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, tossing back another handful. "Bobbie and I have had to deal with being Thralls before. Its pretty high on my not-ever-doing-this-shit-again list."
"Then why so calm about it?"
She cocked a delicate eyebrow. "If I freak out, will that make my mark go away?"
I looked away begrudgingly. "Probably not."
"So there's your answer." She said, setting the box down on the counter. "Besides, as much as it sucks that I've been dragged back into this gig, it has it's perks. I can't lie."
"Still, this is all...very surreal." I muttered. "Can't anyone else help us who hasn't been dragged into this before?"
"Like who?" She shot back.
I rolled my eyes, trying to think. "I don't know....what about Amy Komori? You told me a long time ago you knew her. And Lust said she was the first guy she ever messed with."
Faye looked at me with the dirtiest expression I'd ever seen. "You're serious?"
"Can't hurt, right?"
Faye snapped irritably, grabbing her phone from where it was charging on the tabletop. "Fine, you want to talk to Amy? Let's do that."
"Wait!" I protested. "I didn't mean right now!"
"Noooooo, it's fine. Let's see what the all-powerful Amy-K has to tell us. What sage words of wisdom she can dispense!"
I tried to object, but she was already holding out the phone on speaker, it's ringtone cutting through my protests. After several seconds, there was a click on the end of the line as a sleepy voice answered the phone.
"What...? Oh...Faye? The fuck are you calling me for at the h-"
Faye cut in with a sing-songy tone. "Oh hai! Listen, I'm in a bit of a jam: See my friend Nick went and killed himself, only to get bought back from the dead as a girl by Lust! And she's going to take over her body completely first chance she gets! Oh, and Bobbie and I got dragged into this as Thralls, because it's not enough that she fucks up her own life without making us her honour guard! And Bobbie's my twin, because reasons!"
The phone was silent for several seconds before Amy saw fit to respond.
".....you guys are a bunch of fuckups."
And then it went dead.
Chapter two:
I never really much cared for high school the first time around. Honestly by the time I became a senior, I'd given up trying to craft any kind of image that would get me accepted into some cushy Ivy League college. I had my whole future mapped out: Be awesome at art, study art at Delacroix U, then make awesome art. If that last part didn't pan out for any reason, I could always become a performance artist who screamed at cans of spaghetti. Or was that a hobo who screamed at cans of spaghetti? Anyways, not like it matters now. The point is, I had dug around behind the sofa of destiny and academia, finding exactly zero fucks in loose change.
As I found myself wandering the halls of Delacroix High, pre-class pandemonium exploding all about me like landmines of adolescent hormones, I found myself wondering....why exactly did I want to come back to this?
"Kinda ironic, isn't it? You were the one who insisted I came back to high school as a girl." Faye chided, standing beside me as she folded her arms beneath her breasts. "That argument starting to ring a little hollow?"
I was getting all kinds of stares, though I wasn't sure if they were because I was the new girl, because I was hot, or because they were planning to show me exactly where I belonged on the food chain.
"Yeah, it's lost some of it's impact." I muttered tersely. "What do I do, find the queen bee and pick a fight to show them who's boss?"
Faye raised a well-sculpted eyebrow. "I wouldn't recommend it."
"Why not...too cliché?"
She threw me a half-cocked grin. "No, just that I don't want to mess up that pretty face of yours."
I scoffed indignantly. "Get over yourself."
"Aww, but that's how Rach and I first met." She pouted. "Besides, I had to endure all this by myself, now it's finally time for you to know how it feels."
Trying to know-how-it-feels is what got me into this mess in the first place. I sighed, looking over my class schedule. "At least tell me where my locker is."
She snatched the sheet out of my hand, her alluring eyes scanning every line. "Looks like you're on the far side of the hall."
"Lead on." I said, gesturing to the hallway ahead of us.
"I'm not your fucking tour-guide." She glowered, thrusting the sheet back upon me. "Besides, I have to see if Rach is here."
"Still haven't kissed and made up?"
She shot me a look intense enough to make the Death Star look like a waffle iron. "Let's not forget who's fault this all is."
"Sorry." I muttered.
"Tell it to her, if I can find her anyway." Faye said as she started to drift away into the sea of teenage flotsam.
I gave her an indignant look. "Wait, you're seriously not going to help me? How the hell am I supposed to know where anything is?"
"Not my problem." She grinned darkly. "If you survive, I'll see you in the cafeteria at lunch."
I could have chased after her, but I knew her well enough to know that she was teasing me. This was payback for my setting up her enrolment when Kane became Faye. I figured it would be simple...I mean, she'd already done high school once before, how hard could it be? In the early days when she came home complaining or ignoring me, I left Faye to her own devices, figuring things would sort themselves out eventually. It would seem the impact of that has not been lost on her.
The bell rang, signalling students to begin their first classes of the day. In accordance, they began to reluctantly stuff their belonging back into their lockers and make their way to class. It also meant that on my first day, I was already running late.
"Goddamn it." I muttered under my breath as I tried to make sense of the map I'd been given. Far side of the hall, huh?
I started moving with a brusque pace. Scanning the rows as I crossed the main entryway and entered the west wing. A few other stragglers still wandered the halls, though it was obvious that they weren't nearly as intent on making it to their destination as I was. If I stuck around too long, rent-a-cops might try and pick me up for being tardy, and I had no intention of establishing a bad-girl persona for myself.
How else was I going to score myself a jock for a boyfriend?
-------------------------------------------
I stumbled into English around ten minutes late, enough to earn a look of disapproval from the decaying battleaxe who was performing roll call. I earned more than a few curious looks from my new classmates as I awkwardly made my way to a spare desk, which made me question if my choice in attire was going to brand me as a fashion victim. Faye had assured me that I'd fit right in as she helped pick out my wardrobe for the day: A pair of close fit black jeans, a scoop neck t-shirt emblazoned with graffiti stylings, along with her trademark Chucks and several layers of wristbands and jewellery. I'd packed a spare set of clothes from Faye's wardrobe just in case my inner slut-hulk (You wouldn't like me when I'm horny! Okay...you probably would) decided to make an appearance. But so far I was keeping those lascivious thoughts stuffed away in a dark corner of my mind, which suited me just fine.
After all, Faye could talk all she wanted about how this was my indoctrination into teenage life, but she didn't know that it came with a time limit. Nobody did, and I wanted to make sure it stayed that way while I did what needed to be done.
"Miss Lawson?"
I was scanning the classroom, but I couldn't spot any of my potential targets in attendance. A couple of the girls were wearing varsity jackets, which meant that they had ties to the team. Maybe start there?
"Miss Lawson..."
I had to be smart about this. The guys on the team would be naturally suspicious of me, given what went down at the party. Chase too. Should I tell him what I had planned? Probably not, last thing I needed was someone "trying to talk some sense into me" or something like that. Anyways, I ha-
"Miss Lawson!"
I blinked a couple of times, the wailing banshee up front finally snatching my attention. Miss Lawson...as in Nikki Lawson? I'd almost forgotten that was the name I'd used on my fake ID's when I'd whipped them up. I was getting used to being called Nikki, but the Lawson part still eluded me. A quiet chuckle rolled through the classroom as I ran a hand nervously through my hair. "Oh, right. Here."
"I know you're here." She scowled. "I finished the roll call almost a full minute ago."
I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Okay, sooo...?"
The teacher gave me an icy smile. "Since you're new, why don't you stand up and tell us all a little about yourself?"
So much for keeping a low profile. I cursed under my breath as I stood up, trying not to focus how every pair of eyes in the room was suddenly focused on yours truly. Fear is the mindkiller, fear is the little death that brings total oblivion...
"Uh, okay..." Fuck. It's only been three seconds and I can already tell Faye is a way better attention whore than I'll ever be. "So yeah...my name's Nikki. I just moved into town, still getting settled. Everyone here seems kinda nice an...uh...go Blue Devils?"
"Infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters, indeed." She commented dryly. "You may sit down."
I narrowed my eyes as I returned to my chair. Great, clearly this teacher....whatever her name was...had it in for me before the first class was even over. Guh.
Everything else about the class seemed just as grating: Minutes felt like hours as we covered literary relics like "A separate peace" and "The picture of Dorian Gray". Meanwhile my new classmates were either looking bored scribbling the occasional note, whispering amongst one another or covertly sending instant messages. It was all I could do to look even halfway engaged while teacher prattled on, blissfully ignorant or blatantly ambivalent regarding the disinterest being radiated from the class.
I almost fist-pumped the air when the bell finally rang, signalling our exodus from one class into another. I snatched up my books and made a break for the door, only to realise I had no idea where I was supposed to go next. Digging through my pockets, I was looking for the schedule when I heard a voice call out from behind me.
"Hey, new girl."
You probably already know this, but when you start at a new school, there are really only two types of people that approach you: First there's just normal people. They're scoping you out, seeing if you're cool enough to consider inviting into their little clique. To them, a new kid is like a science experiment that you prod and poke to see how it reacts.
The second is, to be blunt: Losers. They're the people who have no friends, and are desperate to befriend the new kid before someone else has a chance to inform them just how big a loser they really are. This of course, dooms the new kid to being a loser by proxy, but hey, misery loves company.
I turned about slowly, promising myself that if this was going to be a case of the latter, I'd sooner swallow my own tongue than be dragged into the ninth social circle of hell.
I was staring at a broad chest, t-shirt stretched across it adorned with the Under Armor crest. Looking up slightly, I was surprised to see Chase's smiling face. "Didn't you recognise me?"
I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't realise I'd been holding in. "Damn, sorry. There's just a lot of noise, you know?"
"It's okay." He smiled, taking a moment to study me. "I didn't know you'd started here. Been coming here long?"
"It's my first day." I said with a touch of nervousness.
"Ah, then you'll be needing the grand tour, right?"
I looked away. "Right now I just need to know where my next class is."
"Whatcha got?"
"Gym by the look of it." I held up the class schedule, but all the room names made so little sense they may as well have been written in Sanskrit.
"Hey, me too. I'll walk you over, c'mon." He said cheerfully.
"Works for me." Not like Faye had been any help trying to show me around. Any port in a storm, I guess.
We began walking, moving with the flow of human traffic. People seemed to give Chase a certain degree of respect and room as he moved, which I could only assume was attributed to his athletic prowess and place on the Blue Devils.
"These guys kinda worship you, huh?"
"It's not what you think." He said as we began to descend down a flight of stairs. "I'm just a people-person, I guess. A lot of guys on the team let it go to their heads and walk around like they're gods gift to...whatever. Me? I just try to stay hungry and humble."
"Is that why you run the show?" My tone carried a hint of irony.
"That, or maybe I'm just prettier than they are." He said with a half-cocked grin.
I chose my next words carefully, making sure they seemed palatable before speaking out loud. "What about the guys who were at the party?"
"All taken care of." He beamed proudly. "Coach has them at the top of his shit list. He told their parents, who I'm assuming meted out a little justice of their own. Outside of that, they're on the bench for the rest of the season. Closest they'll get to the field is playing waterboy."
I felt my jaw tighten. "Still seems kind of light, don't you think?"
"Don't underestimate the effect of getting benched. Sure, it's not like they're going to jail, but some of those guys were so dumb that being on the team was all the clout they had to make it through calculus. Take that away, and there's not much saving them from getting flunked. Year in a cell, or a year repeating classes. Not much difference if you ask me."
Maybe not, but I'll make sure that repeating class is the least of their problems. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks."
He flashed me another lopsided grin. "People-person."
-------------------------------------------
When I convinced Faye to go back to school, I'd told her that getting changed in the girls locker rooms was the key thing to remember. The reality of course, didn't quite match up to the fantasy after all: Sure, there were plenty of girls who were scrawny, fat, or just straight-up ugly. They represented only a percentage of the overall class. And like anything with an average, there were also a few girls who were ranging from talented to smokin' hot in various states of undress, practically begging for a water fight to break out.
Naturally those were the girls that I gravitated towards. And wouldn't you know it? This little wolf in sheep's clothing had years of "gawking but not gawking" experience as a guy that was proving to be worth it's weight in gold right now.
Finally, things seemed to be going my way for once.
I was so caught up in the moment, I barely even noticed the sensations of arousal creeping over me. My pert little nipples stiffened, as I felt my crotch tense and shiver lightly as the lovely sights laid bare before me. I bit my lip, trying not to stare as I drank in everything I laid my eyes upon, barely noticing the slight tingle overtaking my body. It seemed oddly familiar, like I'd fe-
Oh shit. Not now.
I grabbed my gym uniform, moving quickly without trying to cause a scene as I slipped into toilet stall. I clasped a hand over my mouth, hoping to god or whoever would listen that the sounds I made couldn't be heard over the din of conversation in the locker room. The delightful sensations within me quickly intensified, and I nearly doubled over as the first changes struck me. I watched as the curtain of blonde hair draped before my eyes was struck by a black ink, which languidly overtook every follicle until there was nothing left but a waterfall of shimmering obsidian hair, glinting gun-metal blue when struck by the light.
My body was dragged along by the speeding locomotive of transformation, skin tone darkening to a deep tanned hue, as my features quickly shifted from a cute girl-next-door type to a smoky, alluring Asian siren. My breasts shivered with a rapturous delight as I felt them begin to swell, growing larger and more pert with every moment that passed until they dominated my tiny frame. A brief spark of pain punctuated the process as my waist cinched to a waspish proportion, while my hips and ass swelled to complete the perfect hourglass which Lust seemed to prefer in her subordinates.
I pulled my hand away from my mouth, panting for breath softly as I felt the changes begin to abate. My whole body was glistening with a faint dusting of sweat, every breath causing my swollen, bare breasts to wobble and bounce like some kind of exclamation mark to my distress. Worse still was what I felt within me: It was the same yearning, identical to the last time with Taylor. It was a hunger, a need for pleasure and release. To break the chains of my inhibitions and fears and simply allow myself to be carried by the current of my desires, taking what I wanted, when I wanted it.
I groaned softly as I stood up straight, no longer bracing myself against the wall. The panties which fit comfortably a moment ago were now stretched so tight the waistband looked like dental floss. God...damn it. I didn't need this. I wanted to try and hold off becoming a Lillith indefinitely. Whatever I do now feeds Lust, which can't be good for me. Worse still, when I'm like this...it feels like she's closer somehow. Or maybe I'm closer to her. I don't know.
I took a deep breath, trying to push the bubbling arousal and need for gratification aside. Come on Nick. You're a smart guy. You can figure this out. You knew you might change while you were at school, and you planned for it.
Of course, I'd planned for it. the problem was the clothes that I'd borrowed from Faye for such an eventuality were halfway across the school stuffed in a completely different locker. Which for all the good that did me now, meant they may as well be in another fucking universe.
Okay, fine. I'll make do with what I've got. Digging about in the pile of clothes I'd dropped at my feet, I quickly set about getting dressed. Needless to say, the shorts and t-shirt designed to be a modest fit were now tight enough they could be painted onto my egregious curves. I held up the sports bra, looking at it remorsefully. I'd tried to put it on, but the amount of boobage spilling out the edges made it look like I'd tried to stuff a couple of beach balls into a grocery bag. I hefted my chest lightly through the taut fabric of the shirt, noting that while hardly a substitute, it did a passable job of containing movement due to how tightly it was stretched across my tits. Though that came with it's own problems, including, how my nipples looked like they were trying to bore their way to freedom through the fabric.
Stepping out of the stall, I was instantly greeted by several curious looks from the few lingering girls in the locker room. Instinctively I averted my gaze, wondering if they were staring because they hadn't seen me before, or if I looked like an extra from a softcore porno.
I grabbed a scrunchie from my bag, eager to tame my now impossibly long hair into a more functional ponytail. Following the rest of the girls out of the locker room, I did my best to ignore a second salvo of glares directed my way, this time from the boys. I swallowed, finding their looks of undisguised lust and longing to be...somewhat provocative. I took a ragged breath, trying to fight a losing battle against my churning, swelling desires.
Our teacher, an athletic man in his mid thirties gave me a curious look, clearly teetering on wether he should point out my scandalously tight uniform or simply sit back and enjoy the show that was about to unfold. Thankfully...or perhaps unfortunately, he seemed to opt for the latter option.
"You must be the new girl. What's your name?"
Name? Oh shit. I never actually made it this far in my planning. I wracked my brain, trying to think of something plausible given my appearance. Fortunately for the first time in the history of forever, my near encyclopaedic knowledge of anime and Japanese pop culture was not about to let me fail after getting so far.
"Hiromi." I said with a slight hint of uncertainty.
He gave me a lop-sided grin. "Okay Hiromi. Listen up: The name of the game is dodgeball. Either catch the ball or get the hell out of the way. Think you can manage that?"
Clearly this man was already taking liberties in assuming my IQ was scaled inversely to my sex appeal. "Yeah, I got it."
-------------------------------------------
Normally when you watch a teen movie, the dodgeball scene is used for only one purpose: To show the protagonist getting wailed on because they're unpopular. They get pelted with balls because everyone is looking to make an example of them, a fact exacerbated by their lack of athletic talent.
This however, is not a teen movie.
When Lust creates a Thrall or Lillith, they're not just made purely for sex. They're designed to be perfect. Physically flawless, transcending the possibilities of what one might consider to be naturally gifted. How else are her servants supposed to tease and elicit the desires of men and women that she craves so much? Think about it: If Faye was purely a natural girl, her breasts would cause her no end of back pain given their size. And how else could you explain her breasts growing instead of putting on weight? It's the same with Bobbie....they can both see the desires of people, their flaws and weaknesses, in order to know how best to give them what they crave. Even amongst other girls, they're apex predators.
I can't say I boast the same talents given that we're not exactly the same. But I can say that aside from my "Dr.Jekyl and Miss. Nympho" phases, is that I'm fast, agile and possess a degree of flexibility that would make Reed Richards sit up and take notice.
Ducking and weaving, I tried to keep my mind from wandering as one ball after another flew past me. But they made it just...so damn easy. Every shot missed by only inches, but it may as well have been miles as their jet stream gently caressed my skin. I slipped between all them effortlessly, until I was the only person left standing on the court. The response from my classmates seemed to run the gamut between bemusement and outright envy, their cries and cheers growing more fervent with every successful ball that I casually dismissed.
Still, any game that's too easy eventually grows too dull to play all together. I stood still, making no effort to avoid one of the slower balls tossed my way, which despite my decision not to avoid it still only managed to clip me on the shoulder. the class erupted in jubilation that their dragon had finally been slain, while I sauntered off the court.
The truth was...for the first time since this ordeal began, I felt exhilarated. Every nerve beneath my skin was tingling with energy, reminding me that I was alive. I hadn't even had a chance to really test myself with everything that had been happening, the insanity of the last few days robbing me of my self confidence.
But now? This was more than confidence....like an all natural opiate, I could feel a sensation of power and strength saturating my being. It mingled with my bubbling arousal, producing a heady aroma that practically begged to be indulged until I'd had my fill. I was riding a high unlike anything I'd ever felt before, so strong and intense that I could barely think straight.
"Hey, those were some pretty slick moves." Came a voice from beside me. I looked up to see one of the taller guys from the class, obviously looking to strike up a conversation. "You really made us work for tha-"
He didn't get a chance to finish. In a heartbeat I was on my toes, grabbing his shirt and pulling him in close as my lips locked with his. The kiss was fierce, passionate and hot enough that it could burn us both. I didn't care about that. I didn't care that I was kissing a man. I didn't care about anything except finally doing something to sate the thirst that was ruling my every thought and action.
A cry of surprise and adulation when up from the class, but the teacher was quick to intervene, determined to spoil my fun.
"Hey!" He shouted, forcing my partner to reluctantly break away from the embrace. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
I licked my lips without even thinking, determined to savour his taste. "Celebrating?"
"Yeah? I don't care if you're new, you should know there's rules about fraternising on school grounds. You just bought yourself an hour of detention."
I bit my lip, a deliciously wicked thought crossing my mind in that instant. It wasn't really going to help my cause...but it's not like I really had much to lose either.
"Better make it two." I said, turning back to my nameless partner as I picked up where I left off.
Chapter three:
When I dropped my lunch on the table, Faye didn't bother to even look up from her phone which she was lazily perusing. She simply kept her gaze fixed on the screen as she spoke.
"You're in my light."
I scowled lightly, hardly in the mood to indulge her. "It's backlit. You don't need light."
"Check out the big brain on Nikki." Her lips curled into a smile as she turned the device off and finally levelled her gaze at me. She took a moment to recognise who she was speaking to, given that I wasn't quite the same as how I'd arrived at school.
"And the boobs." She added thoughtfully.
"You're one to talk." I muttered darkly. "I'm wearing one of your bras, and it's too big."
Faye shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "I have a lot of bras. Most of them are different sizes, depending on how well I adhere to my diet."
I gave her a curious look. "I thought you said you were usually an F cup?"
"Normally, yeah. But that can kinda fluctuate if I'm having a shitty day and decide to medicate myself with a tub of Ben and Jerry's."
Jesus. And here I thought that an F cup was what she topped out at. "You always discuss your breast size in the middle of the lunch hall?"
She rolled her eyes. "Like I give a shit if anyone cares. Besides, half the school has seen me naked anyway."
Which was actually true. Thanks to her jaunt in Faye's body, Bobbie had decided to steer Faye's career from what was already risqué modelling for fringe brands into straight-up, total nudity as a Playboy Playmate. Allegra refused to book her for any more jobs after that, which is reasonable when you consider that Bobbie did organize the whole thing behind her back. Now the only offers for work she gets are from Playboy, which explains the tickets to functions she's been trying to ignore.
"Point. I should probably buy my own anyway. Can't keep stealing clothes from you."
"No, you can't." She said flatly as a figure slipped through the crowds, taking a seat beside Faye.
"Nick, you look great. Did you do something with your hair?" Rachael commented rather icily.
She was wearing a sleeveless white t-shit, emblazoned with an image of zombie Che Guverea that was cut to hug her curves closely. I let a sigh hiss out between my teeth before deciding to respond. "Come on, you know that's not fair."
"True. That's what makes it fun."
I gave her an incredulous look. "How come you're mad at me and not at Faye? She's the one who cheated on you."
"And she cheated with you, right?" She asked while unwrapping her lunch.
My eyes narrowed as my voice grew audibly weary. "Technically it wasn't her...and you don't think what's happened to me is punishment enough?"
She paused to consider that for a moment. "It is pretty funny, I will give you that."
I smacked a palm against my forehead. In that moment I silently prayed to Lust or anyone that might listen that I might be able to inflict the same condition Faye and I had been afflicted with on her. Like a sexy vampirism or something. A thrall virus.
"Okay, I get it." I said, folding my arms over...then with only mild irritation, under my chest. "I'm a horrible person."
Rachael jerked her thumb in Faye's direction. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm still mad at her too."
Faye seemed all to happy too join me in the self-pity party. "Don't rub it in."
The silence that dawned on the conversation may well have lingered until the bell for next period rang, if it weren't for an interruption from a tall, attractive brunette girl who sauntered up beside me. "You're Hiromi, right?"
Faye quirked a delicate eyebrow at the namesake I'd chosen, but knew to keep her mouth shut. For a moment I wondered if this was the girlfriend of my gym-class-romance looking for some payback. If that was the case, "no" would be the most pertinent, if useless response.
"Yeah, that's me." I muttered. If she wants to fight, may as well get it over with.
"You're new and all, so I get that you don't know the way things work around here. But trust me, you don't want to be seen with the lesbo-slut and her girlfriend. Unless you want in on the action, that is."
"Christie." Faye didn't seem the least bit phased by her challenge. "I see that black eye has healed nicely. Did you come back so I can complete the set?"
"Touch me again, and my dad will sue you into a hole so dark and deep that you'll forget what daylight looks like."
"Go ahead." She scoffed. "I think I still have some old Subway stamps that might be worth something."
Christie rolled her eyes laboriously. "C'mon Hiromi. I've got some friends who want to talk to you."
I gave Faye a hesitant look, but she waved a hand dismissively, indicating that I should get moving. I guess she wanted me to meet these girls and form my own opinions.
Christie led me through the cafeteria, which was so clearly segregated into different groups and social castes you'd think it was a zoo.
We stopped infront of a table located at the sporting-end of the exhibition. The table was mostly populated by attractive, athletic young girls, through a few of them were draped over members of the Blue Devils football team like expensive coats. This was the lions den: The source of all power in Delacroix High's social cliques. The top of the food chain.
They were the Little Devils. The cheerleading squad for the Blue Devils. State champions three years running, if you believe the plaque in the main hallway.
Christie set about introducing me to the rest of the squad which she was evidently a member of. Most of their names I forgot as soon as she mentioned them. After all, when you pick up any fighting game, you need to establish the pecking order in the roster: The best characters are ranked high tier, and are used to exploit and dominate the low tier.
I have no time for low tier trash.
Kyrie was the squad leader, and she fit the role almost to a fault: Leggy, brunette, curvaceous and a smile that could light up half a city. I felt my nethers tremble just at the sight of her, but I was able to force down the simmering need. I'd sated my thirst earlier, and it was enough to keep the beast at bay.
Kyrie stood up, swooping in quickly to give me a hug. I froze up for a moment, caught off guard as my arousal and conscious mind fought for supremacy in a koon-ut-kal-if-fee.
"You must be the new girl. You're the talk of the school."
Forget Star Trek. This is all getting a little Mary Sue for my tastes. "Is that a fact?"
A couple of the girls snickered at my response, reminding me that I might have to dumb it down a bit.
"Sure." She returned to her seat, picking through the remains of a salad. "Just appeared out of nowhere to slaughter everyone in gym class at dodgeball."
I shrugged my shoulders, looking to play it cool "Just lucky I guess."
Her eyes caught the light in the most enchanting way as she spoke. "Better to be lucky than good, huh?"
"She could try out for the team." Christie ventured, not prying her gaze away from the phone she was scrolling through.
"There's no openings on the team, brain donor." Another girl chimed in.
"That's true." Kryie said evenly. "But there may be an opening soon. Some girls haven't been pulling their weight."
One of the girls shifted visibly in her seat, a cute little redhead. Three guesses who Kyrie was directing that comment at.
Kyrie moved from cold and calculated to warm and friendly like she was trying on designer sweaters. "Looks like Christie rescued you from a fate worse than death, socially anyway. So feel free to hang out with us 'till you get the taste of lesbian out of your mouth."
I gave her a curious look. "You mean Faye and Rachael?"
She scoffed indignantly. "Who else?"
"What's your problem with them?"
She shot me a disgusted look. "That bitch Faye acts like she's the queen-of-goddamn-everything. Ever since those nude pictures of her from Playboy got out, half the guys in school have been lining up to fuck her like it's some kind of achievement."
Okay, genuinely confused now. "And she lets them?"
"Probably? I dunno." Kyrie shrugged her shoulders. "All I know is that she's smart enough to keep leading them around by the nose. As long as they think they have a shot, they'll do anything she asks."
"The lesbian thing doesn't deter them?"
"Are you kidding?" She chuckled softly. "Boys are so stupid, trying to get through that force field just makes it more of a challenge."
The irony was soul-crushing. "Yeah. Stupid guys..."
-------------------------------------------
The rest of the day was just as exciting as a trip to the dentist. The classes posed little challenge or interest, and I didn't bump into anyone else that I knew over that time except for Rachael, who was still doing her best impression of the Ice Queen of Narnia. I spent most of my time listening to the droning of the teacher's voice fading into white noise as I struggled to resist the increasingly vocal demands of my body and it's bottomless sex drive.
I bit my lip, rubbing my thighs together beneath the desk as I watched the hands of the clock slowly inch their way toward their final destination. God dammit...why couldn't Lust accept payment from her subordinates in...I dunno...tacos?
Mercifully, the bell finally rang to signal the end of the day. Everyone in the room stood up like they'd been collectively stung and piled toward the door, not taking any note of Mr.Agee's requests to study chapters seven through nine because it -might- be on a pop quiz tomorrow.
After collecting the contents of my locker while doing my best to avoid all but the most overtly lascivious gazes, I made my way out of the building toward the car park, carried along by the tide of human exodus. My nipples were hard enough now that they were visibly tenting the fabric of my shirt, and it was all I could do not to fall to my knees and moan wantonly like a wolf howling at the moon.
Faye was waiting for me, leaning up beside her car, chatting idly with a girl I'd never seen before. As I approached, Faye caught a glance of me and waved the other girl off.
"Jesus." She muttered with a light sense of admiration. "You look like you're ready to fuck anything with two legs and a heartbeat."
I swallowed, fighting down a rush of embarrassment. "Is it that obvious?"
She tossed me a crooked smile. "Not as much as you think."
"How's that?"
She tapped a finger to the side of her temple. "Thrall, remember? I can see emotions like colored ribbons."
"Lucky you." I murmured.
Faye narrowed her eyes slightly. "Oh yeah. Lucky me: Turbo sex drive? Glowing tramp stamp? Boobs that don't stop growing when I -look- at junk food? My own nympho twin? Yeah, I'm having the time of my life."
I gritted my teeth, looking around to see if anyone had heard us. "Shhh! Jesus, you want half the school to know?"
"Oh please, like they'd believe me." She rolled her eyes indignantly. "Besides, half the guys here would believe my tits are filled with chocolate milk and it wouldn't dampen their enthusiasm."
"Okay, okay." I said impatiently as I opened the Evo's passenger door. "Let's just get out of here."
Faye pouted with mock-sympathy. "What's the matter pumpkin, teachers give you too much homework?"
I shook my head in frustration. "No, nothing except for....fuck!"
"Last I checked, fucking was an elective, not a core unit."
I shot Faye a dirty look as I suddenly remembered my transgressions back in the gymnasium. "No, I've got detention. I forgot all about it."
"Detention on your first day?" Faye let out a low whistle. "Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, y'know."
"Shut up." I muttered, grabbing my belongings and pulling them from the car. "I'll find my own way home."
Faye smirked mischievously as she slipped into the drivers side. "Have fun. And don't let Rach bust you out, she's got a record for that kinda thing."
The Evo rumbled to life, and moments later it was following the conga-line of traffic heading toward the school gate. I took a deep breath, inhaling sharply to try and calm myself. Great, two days...I needed to control myself to make it through this stupid detention.
What's the worst that can happen in two hours anyway? Aside from spontaneously morphing back into a blonde fence post, or turning study hall into the most depraved act of sexual theatre known to man, anyway. I figure one of those has to be a given.
I'd almost made it back to the entrance, when I heard a car pull up behind me. From the tone of the engine I thought it might be Faye, but instead I heard Kyrie's increasingly familiar voice instead.
"Get in the car, loser. We're going shopping."
Turning about, I was greeted by the sight of a cherry red BMW Z4, it's convertible roof peeled back to allow two girls to sit in the back, along with Kyrie in the driver's seat and Christie in the front.
"You're talking to me?" I asked awkwardly. I might be a girl, but the male brain I still possessed was deeply unaccustomed to the attention of cheerleaders.
Kyrie gave me a wry smile. "No, I was talking to the other braless fashion emergency standing next to you."
"Can't..." I muttered, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "....I have detention."
The girls in the car looked at one another, giggling in acknowledgement of a unspoken joke. Christie gave me a look that fell somewhere between pity and amusement, while Kyrie slipped out of the driver's seat.
"I've got this one. Christie, just park it nearby, we'll be back in five."
Christie nodded dutifully while she slid into the drivers seat, as Kyrie fell into step beside me. "Okay you little troublemaker, let's go see about your detention."
Despite the fact that classes had only finished fifteen minutes ago, the halls were practically devoid of students as we made our way toward the study hall. My eyes roamed about Kyrie's form, drinking in the sight of her toned and curvaceous form. God...she even -smelled- good. It was all I could do not to pull her into the AV lounge and test the soundproofing.
"So you're in detention for that stunt you pulled back in gym class, right?"
I blinked, my mind torn away from blissful fantasy. "Huh? Oh, right. Wait...you knew about that too?"
She laughed softly. "Do you have to ask?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess?"
"Please. After humiliating the rest of the class in dodgeball, you made out with Bart Cubbins infront of everyone." She gave me a knowing look. "Five minutes later the whole school knew about what you did. I don't know about your old school, but word travels fast here."
"Makes sense." I tried to think of something to distract myself as we walked. "So, did you send Christie over to meet me at lunch and invite me back to your table?"
Her voice didn't betray the slightest hint of guilt. "Yeah, that was me. You've got talent, and it felt like a waste to let it rot with Valentine and her girlfriend."
"Yeah, you already said that."
She shrugged her shoulders innocently. "So?"
I narrowed my gaze, growing weary of her dancing around the point. "Soooo...that can't be the only reason, right?"
She smiled confidently, even picking up her pace as if challenging me to keep in step. "Because this is -my- school. I run the Little Devils. I'm queen of the social ladder. I get all the good grades. I get to date whoever I want on the football team. So when someone new steps into my kingdom, I make it my business to see if they're an asset or a liability."
Jesus-god. Kryie wasn't a wolf in sheeps clothing, she was a goddamn tyrannosaurus. "Come on, you're telling me you go through this with every new girl or guy?"
"Not all of them." She shook her head. "Just the ones who look like they might be interesting."
I raised a delicate eyebrow. "So I'm interesting to you?"
Her lips twisted into a tight smile. "For now. And trust me when I say, that's not an easy feat. But the real challenge will be seeing if you can keep it up."
We rounded the corner to the study hall, stopping at the door where there were several students sitting in a painful silence, copying out lines or studying to catch up on a test they'd missed. A tall, statuesque man in his late 30's sat at the desk overseeing his flock of sheep, looking up only to take note of our arrival.
"Kyrie, I know." He said, gesturing to my partner in crime. "But you...?"
I felt my shoulders slump. Might as well get this over with... "Yeah, I'm Hiromi-"
"I think there's been a mistake." Kyrie interjected sweetly, but with enough force that I didn't think twice about letting her continue. "See, Hiromi's new, but we've already put her on the team. We need her for practice...she's gotta learn our whole routine before the next competition."
My mouth hung open wide enough that it needed a zoning permit. "Wha..."
"Yeah, we only just decided this afternoon." She shot me a knowing look. "Naturally, she's still a little excited."
He looked at her with an air of disapproval. "Really? This isn't the first emergency draft you've had for the team, is it Kyrie?"
"Nope." She didn't change her tone one bit, each word still dripping with sickly sweet syrup. "But you know that training takes priority over detention. Headmaster Dean said so."
Sweet angry fuck. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Was she really going to pull this off?
Our adversary took a moment to consider his options. It looked as if he might call her bluff and see if the principal really did want to get involved, just to settle a matter of discipline against the pride of it's athletic champions. But he seemed to think the better of it, instead abandoning the idea as he waved a hand dismissively.
"Fine. Get out of here."
"Thank you mister DeMartino." She took my hand, leading me away from the door. We'd almost made it back into the hallway before he spoke up.
"Just remember Kyrie: You better keep winning if you want to pull stunts like this. And nobody stays on top forever."
Kryie grinned impishly, looking back over her shoulder as she lead me toward freedom. "Then I guess that'll make me the first."