id (Part 1)
Alesha scratched the back of her head as she squinted up at the house. “So... it's cheap, I guess...”
“Yes! It's almost a steal!” The estate agent laughed.
“Haha...” Alesha was growing understandably weary, “But these 'incidents' that occurred here... something about wizards and giant elephants?”
“Oh goodness,” the agent put a hand on the young girl's shoulder. “They're nothing, just a little coincidence — two psychotic people living in one house at separate times!”
“So this house isn't haunted then?”
“Look at it!” The chubby woman pointed at the small house she so desperately wanted to sell, “Can you honestly say this quaint home in the middle of the city looks like it could possibly be haunted?”
Alesha put her head in her hands, having been emancipated at such an age she wasn't all too keen to look around, especially as most houses would cost a hell of a lot more.
“Okay!” She raised her arms carelessly. “I'll take it! Why not? Anywhere that's away from my past is fine by me!”
The round estate agent grinned, she was sure to get a raise for selling this dodgy settlement.
Alesha sighed as she threw herself down on the floor of her new lounge. “Right, five rooms, no wizards, no elephants, no.... nothing.” She looked over at the fully unfurnished area. No wonder she got it so cheap...
“No wine either,” she mumbled to herself. “How can someone sit solemnly in the corner of an empty room without a glass of red?”
She was too young to drink, old enough to do and experience pretty much whatever else though, it seemed.
She somehow managed to suck upon a small carton of apple juice for the next few hours though. Eventually it became a six pack, and with discarded little boxes surrounding her she reminisced,
“I once got knocked out after drinking some apple juice...” She spoke to no-one in particular, “I was really quite happy in that comatosed world I was sent to. But....” She continued fiddling with a straw, “Like a terrible ending to a story, it was only just a dream.” She looked up at her singular light-bulb as it flickered or perhaps danced. “You know what, I'm gonna go out! People go out, right? I'm a person!”
“Where to, missy?”
Alesha swayed back and forth, “A club, or something? I dunno, you know, yeah....”
The taxi driver leaned back over his seat, “A little too young to be drunk ain't you?”
“Pffft! Just too much apple juice...”
“Ha, sure!” He began driving regardless, “And a little too young to be hitting the club scene too, am I right?”
“Pffft!” she repeated. “This whole age thing really pisses me off!”
“Well that's no way for a young lady to talk!”
“Oh come off it, it's how I express myself you.... you cock sucker! You know what, pull over, I see a petrol station, I'm gonna get some banana juice, they make banana juice right?”
“I... I ...don't they think they d-”
Alesha interrupted him with a gasp and rolled over in to the passenger seat, “Then we could invent it! Split it 50:50, you and me!”
“Yeah I'm taking you home...”
“Oh spoil sport! Fine... I'm Coming Home in a taxi, there's something in that right?”
The driver rolled his eyes at the girl's antics as he tried to keep his eyes on the road.
“I'm not drunk you know.” A few minutes had passed and she seemed to have calmed down a little, “Apple juice just really makes me go.... crazy! Did I tell you about the time I bought an apple juice and got taken to this seriously cool comatised world in my mind?”
“No, no you didn't.”
“Well, I wrote about it, I write stuff you know. Here, have my card... Okay, I don't have a business card … I should get one! Don't worry though I'll leave room on it for our banana juice thingy!.”
“Listen, I-”
“Promise me you'll keep a pin in it!”
“Fine!” The driver shrugged, your parents are probably gonna be mad when I take you home, aren't they?”
“Oh, no, I'm emancipated! I live on my own, in a house with no furniture, well actually I'm getting a fridge delivered on Monday, it was either that or a bed but... you know, I can sleep on top of a fridge right?”
“Why are you emancipated?”
“Oh my god!” Alesha tossed her arms around in anger, “You are so fucking chatty!”
“Fine! Let's just both be quiet then, shall we?” The driver breathed a sigh of relief, this had to be the longest journey he had ever conducted.
“Thanks for the ride! Hey, maybe tomorrow you can take me to the hospital? They do the best pudding there!”
Alesha waved goodbye as the kind driver put a blanet over her on the floor of her lounge and closed the door behind him.
“Oh my god!” She looked in the mirror at her worn out reflection, “What happened last night?”
“Seems you really painted the town red!”
“Haha yeah I-” Alesha froze. “... Who is that?”
References:
'Because I Got High'
'Coming Home'
'Haunt These Halls'
'In the Air'
'La La Land'
'Nil - Nil'
'There Was A Wizard In My Room'
id (Part 2)
“I once said something about life going two ways.” Alesha was leaning with her back against the new fridge with an empty glass in her hand. “And there's all these other two ways that lead up to the ultimate two ways, but what does it matter?! I doubt love, success or riches are really that much comfort on your death bed. We think we're in control but we all share the same fate, and that's death. Lousy, stinking death.” She opened up the door and dragged out a pint of ice cream. “You know, just in case there are any wizards or elephants hanging around here, you're welcome to join me. Sure beats being alone...” She began shoveling the frozen treat into her mouth, “I haven't got enough to feed an elephant though...”
Alesha looked up to the large white blank wall that dominated her kitchen. “What if it could be so much more...” she whispered as her pupils grew, before looking down at the tub of ice-cream. “Yeeeeah... I think that's enough for one night.” The young girl flew up, grabbed her jacket and reached for the door. “Oh, shit, balls, that's right... every time I go outside it never seems to end well.” She turned back to her disastrously humble home, “Then again, whatever might be out there sure beats this!”
Her flat trainer shoes bounced off the hard pavement that bathed in the pale moonlight, she was not a girly girl, just... a girl. There weren't all too many passers-by, it was cold and she had decided upon herself that the rest of the human-race were lazy as the roads beside her were littered with vehicles.
“Ugh, fuck this!” She exclaimed as she headed down an alley way, “I'd rather get raped than put up with all that noise!”
She passed by a homeless man and threw him whatever coins she possessed, she'd only waste them all on juice any way, plus she thought it to be of best interests to stay on people's good sides at night.
“Hey thanks lady, you wanna squirrel?”
Alesha turned on her heel and gave the stranger a quizzical look, “You know what, I kind of do want a squirrel.”
“Well errrm, this little guy's called Ronnie!”
“That's a ridiculous name for a squirrel.” She directly responded before noticing that the entire process of naming squirrels was ridiculous. “But... ummm... sure, I'll take it!”
“Okay, make sure you keep him warm at night and don't feed him too much either!”
Alesha curtiously nodded at the odd man's requests and held the furry pest up to her eye level, “What is it, a Gremlin?” She joked before sensing it was time to exit the alley.
With the squirrel on her shoulder and, despite looking like Dr. Doolittle's secretary, she marched on in to the night. Her moonlit madwoman walk was soon disrupted though, by the honking of a horn on the road beside her.
“Hey...” a voice came from inside the black cab, “You're the weirdo from yesterday, right?”
“Who are you calling weirdo?!” Alesha clenched her fists before recognising the driver from the night before. “Oh... ummm.... sorry, hey...”
“The fuck is that on your shoulder?”
“Oh it's a-... you know what, I have no idea, shoo shoo!” Alesha ushered the vermin away from her before leaning in to the open window of the taxi. “So... what do you want?”
“I wa- I think! You should get in, it looks like I'm paying for a prostitute at the moment!”
Alesha realised what it might look like and buttoned up her coat in modesty, “Yeah... can you take me home? I really shouldn't be let outside.”
“You're a menace to society!” The driver joked as he opened up the passenger door.
Alesha turned to the driver and raised an eyebrow, “I have no idea what your name is.”
“What?” The driver kept his eyes fixed on the road.
“I have no idea what your name is! You've done so much for me and... what's your name?”
“It's no problem, sounds like you're in a rough patch,” he made a calming gesture with his hand. “The name's Sam. Sam Vettel.”
“Wow! Like the-”
“Yep. Like the racing driver...” Sam sighed.
“Wow!” Alesha repeated, “Do you race?”
“No I drive around loonatics at night.”
Alesha winced before reverting back to the silence that seemed to please Sam the most.
“So...” Alesha stood on her doortstep, “Wanna come in for some ice-cream?”
Sam was still stood on the pavement and did not look all too willing to come any closer, “Ice-cream?”
“Yeah, I don't own anything else. I got a fridge though!”
“I...” Sam shrugged innocently, “Why not?!”
Alesha watched as her guest took small, awkward mouthfulls.
“Hey Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Is it normal for a house to make noises?”
“Well yeah, all houses make noises...” Sam put the ice-cream down and leaned forward.
“Right, and is it normal for some of those noises to be... words?”
“Words?”
“I had a conversation with my house this morning.”
Sam shuffled back, “You know, I've let a lot of creepy stuff you've done slide but...”
Alesha turned read and looked to the floor, “It's just I looked in every room to see what did it, but there was nothing.... not any wizards or elephants either...”
“Wizards?”
“What I'm saying is,” Alesha forced an edgy laugh, “What's up with that?”
Sam tapped his knees for a few seconds before shrugging yet again, “I think it means you need to get some sleep. I'll go get a blanket from the back of the cab.”
Alesha smiled, not totally satisfied with his response but couldn't argue with the fact that she desperately needed some shut-eye.
id (Part 3)
The most unorthodox of stories continues.
“Hey,” Sam nudged the sleeping Alesha with his foot, “Wake up.”
“Wha-what?” Alesha groaned, she was never much of a morning person. Even if it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
“I was just reading some of your stories here.” Sam waved around a hand full of papers.
“Oh yeah?” She rubbed her eyes, “What did you think?”
“Well... they're very undescriptive...”
“Yeah.”
“In fact, most of these stories seem to be heavily based around simple dialogue...”
“Yeah.”
“...Just a basic back and forth between a couple of characters...”
“Yeah.”
“And Jesus H Christ, you swear a lot in these things!”
“Fuck yeah!”
Sam frowned, “It's hard to believe anyone would actually read this stuff...”
Alesha shrugged, remaining surprisingly unhurt by Sam's honesty, and reached into the fridge. “I'm not a world class writer, I'm still pretty much just a kid, what can you expect?”
Sam too shrugged and shared her interest in the fridge.
“All I can do is improve, hey?” Alesha continued, “Yeeeah there's not much point looking in there, I have nothing.”
“I should have guessed,” Sam laughed. “Going to get any more furniture any time soon?”
“I think next on the list is a TV.”
“Really?” Sam folded his arms, “That is a bigger priority than a bed?!”
“Well I'm guessing I'll see you around, probably on some street at night.” Sam joked as he backed out of the front door.
“Yeah sure,” Alesha smiled, “Thanks for everything!”
She waved for a while before shutting the door and wondering into the bathroom.
“Oh my god!” She squealed as she faced an unknown gentleman sat on her toilet.
“Oh jeez, oh I'm sorry, what a terrible time to walk in on me, I was ju-”
“Who are you?! What are you doing here?!”
“Well I'm taking a shit.... but, the name's Robert.”
Alesha covered her eyes with her hand, “Okay Robert, if you're here to steal stuff, you chose the wrong house!”
“No, no, not at all!” The man winced as he let out god knows what, “I've just come bearing a warning. You own this place now, right?”
Alesha nodded, uncertain of the man's motives.
“Well... I advise you to get the fuck out now!”
Alesha paused before waving her finger at him, “You're the one who spoke to me yesterday morning?!”
“What?”
“I knew I wasn't going crazy!” She sighed in relief, “It's just a crazy person in my house!”
“Hey, hey, I'm not crazy!”
“Really?” Alesha gestured to Robert's current predicament.
“Alright,” he shrugged. “I'll give you that, but I wasn't here yesterday!”
“You weren't?” Alesha bit her bottom lip and crossed her arms.
“No! I was in Belgium!”
“In Belgium?”
“Yes, Belgium!”
“...Well what the hell were you doing in Belgium?!”
“Looking around, eating sprouts, I dunno! What the hell are you doing in a house without a TV!”
“Okay, okay, fine! Just tell me why I so urgently need to leave my house before I kick you out!”
Robert lifted his trousers up and moved closer to the girl. “I'm the guy.”
Alesha noticed his eyes had turned suitably crazy.
“The guy who saw the Wizard!”
“Really? So the rumors-”
“All true! I'm not crazy, I'm afraid I might have cursed this place, I checked with the last owner and she said she saw some crazy ass shit too!”
“A giant elephant by any chance?” Alesha raised an eyebrow.
“Yes! Exactly!” Robert exclaimed, “Have you seen anything freaky since you moved in?”
“Well the house talked to me yesterday morning...”
“Well there you go then! Go! Leave!”
“Hey wait,” she pointed directly between his eyes, “You're the guy who sold me a squirrel last night!”
“Oh yeah!” He clapped his hands in ridiculous delight, “How is little Ronnie doing, anyway?”
Alesha froze.
“Oh god, no! Ronnie!” Robert stormed out of the bathroom, “You know what fuck you! Enjoy living in your haunted house!”
“Wait!” Alesha hurriedly followed him down the hall but couldn't keep up, he was long gone.
She later found herself back in the corner of her living room again, thinking about the strange encounter. How could someone come from having a wizard who'd grant their every wish to selling squirrels on the street corner? And, furthermore, why did she believe him?
She stared back in to the white blank wall. Why would a wizard be considered a curse? And had her house actually spoken to her the day before?
She continued to stare in to the white blank wall before reaching for a suitably white blank piece of paper.
She wrote down seven little words;
'There Was a Wizard In My Room.'