A Change in Lifestyle
By Julie Dawn Cole
‘That’s it I’ve had enough. Nothing I do is good enough. You fuss about all day instead of getting a proper job. You take over the house and I’ll show you how to be a man!!’
She slammed the door until it almost fell off the hinges and I heard her start her car and roar off out of the driveway and down the street. She was particularly angry this morning because I’d received a letter saying I wasn’t selected for the position of Manager of our store. My rival, Jackie Lister had got the job. I’d been terrified to open the letter fearing it was bad news and my wife Helen had almost opened it herself.
We’d had a frustrating weekend of bickering at each other and whilst she’d just said nothing she did was good enough that’s just how I felt with her. If I tried to book something she’d take over. If I drove us somewhere she’d insist we changed places because I drove too slowly and got lost easily.
We’d supposed to work together over the weekend spring cleaning that I enjoyed a lot but unfortunately to Helen it was a toil and not a pleasure. She didn’t even enjoy the trip to the supermarket for the weekly shop. She’d lost her temper with me when I was fussing over the rise in prices for vegetables and when we were cooking dinner I’d been critical about the mess she made of the kitchen that I’d cleaned. I guess I went a little bit too far.
Helen is very successful as Director of Purchasing Department of a major Retail Company and she gets to travel a lot these days. She has a personal assistant and a secretary so I guess she’s got used to making decisions quickly and organizing and at work she is quite a disciplinarian. I’ve accused her of treating me like one of her workers and at first she used to apologize whereas recently she just shouted at me if I objected.
I suppose things had been getting steadily worse in our relationship. I didn’t envy her the success she’d had and I wasn’t ambitious. I think she felt that she was the main bread winner these days so she had the right to speak to me like she had done the day before. She’d told me I was behaving like a girl when I sulked after she shouted at me.
She’d told me that I should go get my hair cut and go to the gym with her and Emma to build myself up. Emma was her personal trainer who had set up a training program for Helen that really had been effective. She had lost her body fat and she seemed taller and stronger and her clothes fitted her much better these days. She called at the gym every day to meet Emma when she was home and always carried her sports bag on business trips.
On the other hand I wasn’t quite so fit although I must admit that as I took on more of the household duties I felt it was like a fitness program in itself and I’d lost almost a stone as a result. I wanted to lose a little more but I found my clothes were too loose. I did also enjoy to do some dance and movement routines using two of Helens DVD’s. I’d imagine that I was a Helens wife at home and I always managed to fit this into my daily schedule of chores and 2 hour timeslot of searching for jobs on the internet.
I’d met Helen several years ago when we both training in Retail Management in the same Company. She’d done very well yet I’d not been very successful managing people. So she’d advanced through the organization whilst I’d been made redundant 2 years ago after which I’d finally had to take any job that I could get. Now I just had a part-time job covering for a girl on maternity as Assistant Manager and I’d tried to get a permanent job because I had all the necessary qualifications. Sadly I was too quiet and not aggressive enough for modern management requirements.
By the way I’m Robyn Cooper and my wife who refused to drop her name is Helen Boyd-Cooper. She insists to call me Robyn Boyd-Cooper and a lot of correspondence comes to us as Mr and Mrs Boyd-Cooper through her influence. Even my tax form had carried this name somehow.
Well that’s a bit of background about us and the events that led up to a change in our lifestyle. I’ll tell you more if you like......
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 2
Well some of you my ask how come my name is Robyn and not Robin. Well at school I got teased a lot and also recently Helen has teased me a lot too. I have been living with this difficulty all through my school and working life and when I’ve applied for jobs on the internet the response mostly comes back as Ms Robyn Boyd-Cooper and even Helens bank sent me a bank card as Ms Robyn Boyd-Cooper. It seemed to amuse Helen a lot so she didn’t do anything about it.
I complained to my mother when I was in early school but all she would say was ‘A robin is a bird and Robyn was the name your Gran selected as soon as she saw you.’ I suppose it did influence my early life since I found that I actually liked the teasing and especially from some of the girls who used to poke fun at me because I was only slightly built and not very active in the boys playgroups.
Helen said she married me because of my good looks rather than my frame size because she hoped to have children with model looks rather than defects. We hadn’t had any luck in that department even though we’d tried. I guess that was another reason why Helen sometimes got angry with me because I wasn’t very aggressive sexually and often she had to make the first move. In fact sometimes she said she’d had to make all the moves and I’d still not managed to bring her to climax. This part of our relationship seemed to be getting worse rather than better and Helen had asked me to go for some tests.
The doctor in our surgery on the day of my visit was a lady said she I shouldn’t worry about it and that she’d like to do some tests on both of us. It seemed like I had a low sperm count and Helens resistance was too strong so the doctor recommended she exercise a lot and I rest up before sexual intercourse.
Well I suppose that was what started Helen going to the gym but in truth I’ve found that it’s made her more sexually aggressive rather than laying back and thinking of England. For me I tried everything including visits to the massage rooms at the gym and long soaks in the jacuzzi before we went home.
I think that losing my job didn’t help and each time Helen was promoted I felt more and more inadequate so two or three times per week became once a week and then once a month.
As Helen built up her fitness she spent more time with Emma and I suppose I didn’t mind since it meant I was not put under so much pressure. The other benefit was that I could spend my time reading or on the internet and Facebook and my network of friends started to build up. Of course most contacts assumed that I was Ms Robyn Boyd-Carter and for some of them I decided to act out the part. I don’t know what made me do this but I did find it rather gratifying and as my communications were increasing I was getting worried.
The benefit was that by acting as a woman on line I was starting to think and behave more like the girl they thought I was and I would read a lot more female sections of newspapers and joined womens magazines exchanging opinions through the blog sections.
I even took a photograph of myself with make-up and my hair brushed to a more feminine style and borrowed one of Helens tops. I just looked like my younger sister and I was amazed how it made me feel.
I remember that night Helen had been quite surprised that I made a move for once and she’d had to decline because it was the time of the month. That started her joking with me about my monthly cycle coinciding with hers so she’d suggested she went back on the pill for a while that always reduced her periods to a few days.
So I couldn’t seem to win at that time whatever I did but my feelings were definitely starting to change. I was out of work but I enjoyed it and I didn’t mind doing chores around the house. Often I’d buy Helen flowers knowing that she’d ask me to put them in water for her.
Then one evening last week I was on the internet and Helen sneaked up behind me. She spotted that I was in my yahoo account and that I was writing to someone and that I became embarrassed and signed out before she had chance to check. She’d not said anything until last night and then she’d reminded me and asked who I was writing to.
I must have been like a frightened rabbit caught in car headlights and twisted the truth a bit to say it was someone I’d met on line who was helping me to build up my interview skills. She was hurt that I didn’t ask her.
Maybe I got away with it but judging by her bad temper this morning when she slammed the door I was going to have to find a better explanation. I’d been communicating with someone I’d met through a tgirl website who had a Flickr account and I’d been amazed how many contacts she had. I was even more amazed t how feminine she looked. There were so many people like this and it made me so angry that someone had invented the term tgirl. The people I’d seen on Flickr seemed like normal people who just had feminine sides to their personalities and that had made me think a lot about myself.
For sure when Helen had stormed out of the house I’d wanted to scream at her and when I sat down to calm myself I felt like crying.
What had gone wrong with our marriage and why couldn’t we just be happy. Was it to do with our work situation and me losing my job? Was it because I felt so inadequate nowadays especially because of Helens success. Or my lack of sexual drive. Sometimes I did wish I could be the wife at home without any pressure on me and to support Helen since she is miles better than me and much more dominant in our relationship than she’d been before. Why couldn’t she be the one to decide if we made love together and why couldn’t I just work part time to give me some independence and some pocket money so I didn’t have to depend on Helen totally.
So here I was on Monday morning with Helen having slammed the door and so far no answers just questions. I decided to tidy up in the kitchen and make myself some tea and put on the breakfast programme. I washed the dishes by hand looking out over our garden. Helen had talked about employing a gardener since I showed no enthusiasm for cutting grass and digging soil. I suppose I’d have to cut the grass at least to try to make amends.
I sat to watch TV and hoped that Helen might call me to apologise. I certainly didn’t feel like ringing her at the moment.
I was reading the newspaper with one eye on TV when the presenters introduced a person who was a man living as a woman. He’d been to Thailand to take part in a Miss World competition and he’d not done very well. But I was interested since he really looked and acted like a woman and he had a feminine voice and female mannerisms. His girlfriend had gone with him to Thailand and followed him around looking after him and helping him to prepare. As he lost his confidence she lifted him and she’d even carried his bags for him. She still loved him as a man even though he looked and acted like a woman. At least I think she did but maybe the relationship was more woman to woman.
He had behaved terribly in Thailand always panicking when something went wrong and his girlfriend had stayed calm. It’s strange because this guy ran his own small engineering company in the North of England and I could imagine his life would be hell herein due to the prejudices there.
It was funny that I’d become so absorbed and I felt this person was a woman and the film clips of her at work were as if she’d dressed as a man. He wasn’t unlike me in appearance so I tied my hair back into a pony tail and looked in the mirror. Mmmm I thought I might look like a woman dressed like a man with a little effort. So when it finished I went upstairs to our bedroom. I went into the en-suite bathroom and ran a bath filling it with oil and found one of Helens best perfumed soaps.
I didn’t have much body hair but something urged me deep inside to take out one of Helens ladyshave razors and remove it. I’d already shaved the few hairs on my face the night before so no need to do it again. I soaked for a good half an hour and then I washed my hair. Helen had some color shampoo that I used to bring out a lighter tint to my mid brown hair.
I used some conditioner that was quite expensive by the look of it and then put on Helens bathrobe and tied a towel around my head. I did look quite feminine like this and I felt completely relaxed and pink all and soft all over.
I brushed my hair and parted it down the centre. I brushed it with a soft brush from Helens dressing table and then let it dry naturally for a while before finishing it with a blow drier. That gave extra lift and some extra sheen.
Was this a woman in the mirror or was it me?
I couldn’t resist the make-up bag and applied a little mascara. Not very well I might add but enough to see the effect I was looking for. Then I applied some lipstick in a deepish red color hoping I’d put it back in the right place. Mmmm it tasted nice.
Now I did look more like this person on TV. Well maybe not quite so attractive as ‘she’ did but then she’d probably been in the make-up department before transmission.
I looked through Helens knicker drawer and found a pair of older panties that were pink with a soft lace ribbon at the front. I pulled them tight and even though they were tight I liked the feel compared to my boxer shorts.
I stopped at that point to look at myself in the mirror. I still wanted to create the woman dressed as a man look that was supposed to be my excuse. I found a pair of Helens jeans and a checked shirts and soft wool sweater. I had no boobs but I did look like more like a woman than a man even dressed like this.
I liked it and decided I’d stay dressed like this for a few hours. I wasn’t totally feminine but at least I had proved to myself that I was as good as the guy on Breakfast TV.
For the next two hours I fussed around the house tidying up even though everything was OK and polishing shiny surfaces.
I looked outside and even though I was frightened I plucked up the courage to cut the grass.
I found a pair of Helens green wellington boots and even though they were a little bit tight they looked right. The only problem was I hated cutting grass.
I guess I’d been cutting the lawn for about 20 minutes when I realized someone was watching me.
To be continued…..
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 3
It was our next door neighbor Francesca looking over the fence and holding her young daughter who was crying.
‘Robyn is that you?’ I stopped to look up and immediately thought how stupid I was to assume nobody would see me.
‘Robyn can you help me please I’m at the end of my tether.’ She seemed to ignore how I was dressed and the fact that I was wearing some make-up. She was obviously very close to tears.
I asked if I could help and found that her daughter, Beth, had been crying on and off all night because she was teething. Frans husband Roy was working away from home so she’d nobody to help her. I couldn’t ignore her and she didn’t really seem to acknowledge how I was dressed. Not that I had gone over the top but unfortunately I couldn’t disguise the fact that I was wearing make-up.
I went through a small gate that connected our gardens and immediately took Beth from her and the relief on Frans face was immediate. She started crying and it soon turned to sobbing so I hugged her as best I could without risk of dropping Beth. Fortunately Beth stopped crying and perhaps she wondered who this weird stranger was or maybe it was because the lawn mower had stopped.
I comforted her and then put her over my shoulder to allow her to release some wind as I patted her back. Fran was nuzzled into me still sobbing and obviously tired.
We walked slowly to her patio door and we sat down in the conservatory on a two seater sofa.Within seconds I was trapped. I had Fran clinging onto my arm and Beth over my shoulder. Somehow I managed to transfer Beth to my lap and she put her thumb in her mouth and fell asleep.
Fran looked up at me and smiled and I put my arm around her shoulder. Within minutes she was sound asleep too. So there I was unable to move without disturbing either of them.
I managed to kick off Helens wellington boots and put my feet up onto a footstool.
Both of them nuzzled into me and so I realized I was going to be stuck for a while. It was a nice feeling. There was Beth sound asleep and comfortable in my lap and it gave me a nice feeling. I hoped that one day that could be our daughter in my lap.
Fran seemed to be in a deep sleep already and I looked at her face. She was naturally very beautiful even though she wasn’t wearing any make up.
I closed my eyes and I guess that soon I too had nodded off.
Eventually I woke up because I’d been holding myself stiff and my foot had gone to sleep. Fran opened her eyes and closed them again. I managed to get up and decided to carry Beth into the house where I found a cot in the dining room. I tucked her up and then looked around.
The lounge, dining room and Kitchen were all completely in a mess and so I decided to tidy around. I worked non stop for 2 or 3 hours and had the time of my life. When I eventually finished I turned and looked at my handiwork. What a transformation. I hoped that Fran wouldn’t mind.
Still no noise or sign of life from either of them so I boiled a kettle to make some instant coffee. The aroma must have quickly reached Fran because she sat up rubbing her eyes. She was a little bit shocked to see what I’d done and embarrassed that she’d fallen asleep. She looked at Beth and wrapped her up and sat her teddy bear in the corner of the cot.
Then she looked at me. ‘Robyn I’m so sorry to burden you. I didn’t know what to do. You saved me from going insane.’
I smiled and told her not to worry it was my pleasure.
‘Robyn you do look nice today. I thought you were somebody else. Actually I thought you’d hired a lady gardener.’
‘I’m sorry Fran but I was playing around this morning after I saw someone on Breakfast TV.’
I couldn’t really think of anything else to say in the circumstances but in any case Fran just smiled and said I made a better woman than a man and Helen should think herself lucky to have a wife to look after her. She was smiling of course but I liked it she obviously knew.
‘Robyn do you do this frequently?’
‘No not really but I did enjoy myself today even though I know that Helen would kill me if she found out.’
‘it’s our secret if you like. It would be nice if you did this again sometime and maybe then we could have coffee together once Helen has gone to work. Of course if Beth is behaving herself’
I was happy for the opportunity and said I’d think about it.
Then Fran asked me to stay for lunch and help with Beth if she woke up to be fed. ‘
I had nothing else planned except to finish cutting the lawns so I accepted and we made a nice salad lunch together.
Beth slept and Fran and I chatted. I found myself telling her things about my relationship with Helen and she told me how difficult it was trying to look after Beth whilst her husband was working away.
That’s when she asked me if I was interested to help her around the house and looking after Beth and she’d pay me.
I guess I was taken aback because she tried to withdraw the offer. I said I needed to think about it because it wouldn’t look right for Fran to hire a man as house help and baby minder and besides I had no qualifications.
Then she said ‘I wasn’t thinking of hiring a man I was thinking of hiring you and I hope that you will come like you have today. If you like I’ll even help you to be even more feminine. What do you think. Is it a deal?’
To be continued…..
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 4
Was it a deal?
I thought about it for a few seconds and I wondered what Helen might say. But she’d annoyed me so much that I didn’t really care.
‘OK if you need my help then I’m happy to come around but no word to Helen about this please. I’ll have to fit it into my part time job though.’
Fran said she’d match the hourly rate if I’d help her for at least 2 or 3 hours a day and maybe I could give up the job. That made me think a bit but I still wasn’t sure.
‘Come on Robyn, the job is made for you and I’m only next door so I can be flexible on hours. ‘
‘But it’s a lot of money. Can you afford it? It’s not really practical surely.’
‘Come on please. Besides I‘ll be employing you as you are now and not as a man like you are in your job and you can change your mind if a new job comes along.’
I was tempted.
‘But if I go for a job I’ll be classed as out of work.’
Come on Robyn you have Helen to look after you don’t you. She’s doing ever so well and surely you can both afford a break in your career. Just keep up your NI payments if you like. Come on it will really help me through this bad time and if I don’t find a solution soon I’m going to end up with a breakdown.’
That did it so I accepted. But I wanted to let Helen know so that was a condition. But in my own time since she might be in a mood when she got home.
By now it was almost 3pm and our lunch had been late. I had to think about making dinner and I thought about making a casserole and adding some laxative in Helens portion to teach her a lesson unless she apologized for her behavior. Since I was smiling to myself Fran asked me what was so funny.
I told her about the weekends events and how we’d argued and one thing led to another and we were soon discussing about our problems in the bedroom. I couldn’t believe I was telling Fran such intimate details and then she asked if I had any thoughts when Helen and I were love making.
I told her about how I felt more excited when Helen was the aggressor and that it made me feel different and usually I managed to ejaculate but then I was no good for more.
‘Does she get frustrated and does she get excited too?’
In truth I didn’t know but I did realise that Helen was usually upset and disappointed.
Fran suggested that I surprise Helen tonight and suggest some role playing perhaps applying a little perfume before I left the bathroom. I thought about it and then said I was too scared in case Helen kicked me out.
‘Well it would work for me hun.’
We left it there since Beth was waking up and so I helped Fran by mixing a bottle of milk and then found my wellington boots to finish cutting our lawn.
When I went back indoors I checked the answer phone. Helen had called asking where I was since no answer to my mobile. Then she said not to bother with dinner since she would meet Emma for training and then call for a drink and something to eat with her. She ended up saying ‘Don’t wait up.’
Mmm that was it I was definitely doing what I wanted to do now so she could get lost. I called Fran and told her what Helen had said and asked what time tomorrow.
Then I showered and decided I’d pop out to treat myself to a Starbucks or something.
As I dried myself and looked in the mirror I had an urge to borrow something of Helens and put on a little make up again. If someone recognized me then why should I care. That would teach Helen if someone told her that her husband was gay or a trannie. That was her fault as much as mine. I obviously had the rest of the afternoon and evening to myself. I might even get a Chinese take out and bring it home and watch tv.
So I found myself looking through Helens wardrobe for something a bit more dressy than the jeans I’d worn.
I tried a few things and most things fitted but I stopped short of opting for a skirt or a dress. I thought I’d be safer with a pair of trousers and found some cotton ones and a matching top. I didn’t think I should wear tights or stockings and would be safer to have a uni sex look just in case. The trousers were a deep beige color and the top was a shade lighter. I tried a bra that was a nice feeling. I didn’t need to pack it too much since I felt I looked better with a slim boyish look. At least if I got stopped I wouldn’t be too obvious. I put a few tissues in to each cup.
I found a brown elasticated belt and a pair of flat shoes that were a bit tight across the toes but would be ok as long as I didn’t do a shopping hike.
I applied a bit more make up than I’d done earlier. I looked OK. In fact I felt really good and I needed to check to see I looked alright. I paraded around for quite a while in front of the mirrors in our bedroom and then went downstairs to look in the hall mirror. I felt different. I walked differently and I looked through Helens hall cupboard to find a shoulder bag that I could use to hold my wallet and mobile phone. Plenty of choice since Helen has a cupboard full.
Dare I go through with this. To hell with my doubts of course I dare. I decided to pop next door to see Fran and check on her. The bag I selected had a perfume and a small make up bag so I gave myself a spray and swallowed hard before opening the front door.
Fran was very complementary and gave me a big lift in my confidence. She said I looked natural and dressing like this seemed to really bring out my feminine mannerisms. She offered me a few tips on the make up and re applied it. Then she said I should tie my hair back into a pony tail since it needed conditioning and trimming. She offered to do this together tomorrow if I’d let her. I wasn’t sure.
Since Beth was restless she suggested to put her into her buggy and she’d walk down to the bus stop with me to ensure I didn’t get too scared.
I was nervous but Fran was supportive and we chatted as we walked. It was a nice sunny afternoon and I liked to be out. Gradually my confidence built up and as Fran said I started to walk properly instead of attracting attention.
We decided to cut through the park to the next stop so that Beth could enjoy the fresh air as well as us. I wanted to walk and walk and I loved the smell of the grass and the shrubs in the park.
I took over the buggy and I felt good. This is what Helen and I wanted most of all but I felt maybe it wasn’t going to happen.
Fran linked arms and seemed so relaxed with the warm light wind blowing through her hair. She certainly looked a lot better than when I had come to her rescue earlier.
We reached the bus stop and Fran asked if I was OK. In truth I was almost wetting myself and my stomach was churning. But it was an incredible feeling.
The bus came around the corner and Fran pushed me to get on and pay my fare. As I found a seat I waved through the window and sat down.
I looked around in case there was anybody who knew me. The bus was fairly quiet so I was relieved.
That was until we pulled up at a bus stop outside the comprehensive school.
OMG my former English teacher got on board amongst the school children.
‘Robyn Cooper is that you? What on earth are you doing dressed like that.’
To be continued …….
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 5
I couldn’t hide and I just stammered ‘Yes Miss’ in reply. She sat on the seat opposite scrutinizing me. I don’t know why I was so bothered since I’d left school years ago.
It seemed like yesterday and she spoke to me as if I was still in her class.
‘Robyn, what has happened to you? You are such a good looking boy so what have you done to yourself? Are you trying to look like a girl?’
What could I say. I was like a rabbit trapped in a car headlights. I couldn’t speak for a minute or so that felt like an hour.
‘Nothing Miss Hunter. I’m just on my way into town to meet my wife and we are going to a party.’
‘Well I don’t know what sort of parties you go to dressed like that young man but you should be careful. I thought you were your sister for a moment.’
‘I’m sorry if you are shocked but it’s just the way people dress nowadays miss’
‘Well Robyn I always thought you should have been a girl when you were in my classes and so I’m not as shocked as you might think. I always thought you missed your way in life. You should have joined the theatre group when I asked you after you played the part of Mary in the nativity play. I could have found some interesting parts for you and coached you.’
‘I was too frightened Miss because I already had enough stick at school for being quiet. I was bullied and even beaten up a few times.’
‘Robyn, why on eart didn’t you report it. We don’t treat bullying lightly at all.’
‘I know Miss but they’d have still got me. It was bad enough being called Sissy Boy because I didn’t play sport. ’
‘Does this mean you like dressing as a woman? What does your wife think?’
‘No Miss this is the first time I’ve dressed like this and I’ve told you that I’m meeting my wife in town later.’
‘Well at least let me walk with you to meet her or you might bump into some more bullies. Not that they’d know you were a boy dressed like that. You look more like a girl dressing in a boyish style if anything.’
‘Well that’s the look I’ve tried to create Miss and Helen is dressing as a man. I suppose my nose was getting longer and I was starting to get worried about her looking after me.’
Luckily she was then distracted by some unruly school children so she moved towards the back of the bus. I thought about how to get away from her but I didn’t want to offend her. At first I’d felt like I was 6 inches tall. Something inside me was saying I wanted to be seen but I didn’t expect the first person I saw to be Miss Hunter and for her to recognize me immediately.
It affected my confidence a bit and I thought everybody on the bus was now looking at me and it made me feel uncomfortable. She does have rather a loud voice. I looked out of the window and prayed for the driver to accelerate past the bus stops like they often do if I’m in the queue.
I was relieved when we arrived in town and I got up quickly to exit as fast as I could but Miss hunter was almost immediately behind me.
‘Come on Robyn which way are you going and where are you both meeting?’
‘Oh I’m early, we aren’t meeting till 6 pm so I don’t want to hold you up.’
‘Nonsense Robyn, I’ve nowhere to go so I can escort you anywhere you want. Would you like to come to Marks & Spencers for afternoon tea? It might still be available.’
I couldn’t turn her down after she was so kind so I nodded and we walked across the square and down the pedestrian street with me looking nervously right and left incase I saw anybody I knew.’
‘Come on Robyn don’t be so nervous. You look fine and you certainly know how to walk like a woman.’
I wasn’t doing anything deliberate. I think it must have been the effect of dressing like this. Oh if Helen could see me now. I’d thought it would serve her right if I was recognized but I hadn’t really meant it. I wasn’t sure how I felt. I didn’t know whether I should run home or just tell Miss Hunter that I wasn’t really meeting Helen for a party. But what would she think?’
Luckily my mobile phone rang. It was Fran checking that I was OK. I told her what had happened and she just giggled and said I should stick with Miss Hunter and asked if she was married. She said she might fancy me and I just whispered OMG no.’
Fran said I needed some training and proper treatment and she’d help me. Then I wouldn’t need an escort. I laughed and she had made me feel better. At least she cared and that was more than I felt Helen did today. She’d just gone off in a huff and was out enjoying herself. I thought about calling her but had second thoughts.
As we arrived at the café in Marks & Spencer I sat down whilst Miss Hunter ordered the afternoon tea to share. After all the excitement on the bus I needed the bathroom and when she sat down I told her. She just burst out laughing and said I’d got myself into this mess so it was up to me to sort it out.
I went over to the bathrooms. Should I use the mens or the ladies. I couldn’t decide. I was going to get some weird looks either way I thought. I was crossing my legs and bursting and the more I thought about it the worse it got. Then a cleaning attendant came out of the ladies side and said ‘OK dear, now you can go in. Sorry about the delay.’ That was all I needed.
I rushed through the door encouraged that I might not cause a problem. Luckily it was empty so I used the first cubicle. I sat down to relieve myself and closed my eyes. Was I going mad or what? But it was exciting and I had gone into a ladies bathroom. What if someone complained and called the police. OMG I didn’t need that just now with my poor luck finding a job.
I heard two women come in and waited until their doors closed. I thought I should exit quickly and cracked open the door to peep. It was clear so I quickly washed my hands and checked myself in the mirror.
Mmm I didn’t look much like a man anymore and I did look like my sister. Miss Hunter was right. I put on some more lipstick just to tidy my appearance and re-emphasize my new femininity. Well at least I’d escaped unharmed.
The afternoon tea had arrived when I got back to the table and Miss Hunter asked if I was OK and had I had any problems because she’d seen which door I selected. I just sighed and said I wouldn’t do that again if I could help it.
‘It’s a good job it wasn’t busy. Just imagine what we have to go through waiting in a queue. You men don’t know how lucky you are to be born with your own spout. ‘
I couldn’t believe this was the same school teacher who’d taught me English Grammar and English literature. I never knew she had a sense of humour like this.
After the tea Miss Hunter said she wanted to go to the second floor to look at the ladieswear department and suggested I went with her. Something inside me was urging me to take advantage of the invitation and I did like the idea of taking a longer look at items instead of sly longing looks I sometimes had if I was with Helen.
If I saw anything I might want to buy I realized that I didn’t have much money with me. I thought it would be dangerous to use my M&S card because Helen always checked the statements and paid the bills. But what was I thinking I was just looking with Miss Hunter.
She was looking for a new skirt and some shoes so I had a nice time commenting on her choices that she seemed to appreciate. A few of the assistants offered to help me. None seemed to be worried about my appearance but I did feel that the supervisor had her suspicions. Miss Hunter asked me to go into the changing rooms with her to look properly when she tried on the skirts.
I went with her and she surprised me by passing a skirt and matching top to me to try on and she pushed me into one of the changing cubicles. What on earth next. I looked at them and another urge came over me. How did she guess my size? The skirt looked fine and the top fitted like a glove.
We met in the seating area to use the big mirrors and Miss hunter said ‘There you are Robyn I told you that you just needed my coaching. They look good. It’s a pity about the shoes but we’ll soon fix that. What size do you take there are some shoes over there for customers to use.
I felt like I was going to burst. The seams of my tights were pulling as I tried on some black courts.
‘That’s it Robyn so you must buy them now and we’ll get you some shoes that are similar.
‘But Miss Hunter I can’t afford these things. I’m only working part time at the moment.’
“what with your qualifications. Have I wasted my time getting you though you’re a levels with high grades. Has the world gone mad?’
‘Sorry Miss but it’s not all bad because at least Helen is doing well in her career. But it means I can’t look very far afield for employment.’
‘Why ever not? What’s wrong with you. Does Helen wear the trousers then? ‘
‘No. Well she is doing very well and we’d have to live apart because she’d never leave her job or this area whilst she’s heading towards the Managing Director role.’
‘My My Robyn what are we going to do with you?’
‘Sorry Miss but that’s how it is. In fact we’ve fallen out and I’m not really meeting her for a party. She stormed out of the house this morning and said she was going to teach me how to be a man.’
‘Well if you don’t stand up for yourself then what do you expect.’
‘I do stand up for myself but it’s just that I have to cover for her weaknesses. She’s not so good around the house with domestic chores so she gets a bit frustrated . Sometimes I have to redo whatever she has done that annoys her. Then she loses her temper and takes it out on me.
I can’t help it if my mum taught me how to do housework. I’ve just grown to like it and I like to see everything tidy and in it’s place whereas Helen doesn’t see mess. I think she was spoiled at home and at university she had some friends who tidied up after her because she paid them.’
‘Well at least you seem well matched even if it I the wrong way around according to convention.’
‘I helped my neighbor today because she was in a jam because her baby is teething. I enjoyed tidying her house and helping her. When I left it looked like someone had waived a magic wand and so she offered me a job.’
‘You mean she wants you to be her hired help?’
‘I guess so.’
‘You mean she wants you to be a house help like a maid.?
‘No not at all. She needs help with some of her daily chores whilst her daughter is causing problems. It’s more of a favor than a job.’
‘Well what does her husband think and moreso what does Helen think’
‘Nothing really because we haven’t fixed anything up. She asked me and I said I’d think about it.’
So you are a highly qualified nanny or maid. Which is it?’
‘neither I’m doing her a favour.’
‘Oh you’ve decided then?’
‘Well yes I can’t let her down.’
‘Can’t you see this is a mistake. You can’t just give up and waste your time washing and cleaning. You’ll be child minding next.’
‘No I won’t it’s just until Beth stops teething.’
‘Robyn Cooper you are making a big mistake. Just look at you already. You can’t give up on work or you’ll never get catch up. There’s lots of talent coming through all the time.’
‘I know but I don’t have the personality to get jobs. I have the qualifications but it seems that means nothing these days.’
‘Come on Robyn I’ll help you. I have some past pupils who keep in touch. Let me help you to find a job and once we’re over that hurdle you’ll never look back I’m sure.’
‘I don’t know really since I don’t want to let Fran down and at the moment I need a friend since Helen is so awful.’
‘You’ve only just met the girl. What are you talking about?’
‘Well I want to help her for a bit at least. But if you will help me too then I’d be very grateful. I need some luck.’
‘OK give me your mobile phone number and I’ll see what I can do. I just hope that you and Helen can hang in there. All marriages go through difficult patches. Just try to see things from her point of view.’
I don’t know where she learned to be an expert on marriage since she never married to my knowledge.
Look Robyn please call me anytime and let’s do this again on Thursday. I hope to have some contacts at least by then.
I bought the skirt and top having plucked up the courage to use my card. Oh and by the way I bought two pairs of shoes. So I had started my own wardrobe at least.
I caught the bus home and thanked Miss Hunter. Dear Miss Hunter I should thank her really for showing concern. It seemed like Robyn the girl was better than Robyn the boy at making friendships.
By now it was 5-30pm so since the shops were starting to close and rush hour was starting I headed home.
I called Fran to let her know so since Helen was probably arriving home late as per her message I agreed to call around to show Fran my purchases.
Beth was awake and laid in her cot chewing on a teething ring when I arrived. I told Fran all that Miss Hunter had said to which she just said ‘Cheeky buggar, what right does she have to interfere.’
I found myself trying to calm Fran and I re-assured her that I’d be round tomorrow to help. We even agreed a time so that made her relax.
I helped her to get Beth ready for bed and Fran fed her whilst I made some spaghetti and we opened a bottle of wine. Beth seemed to go to sleep early so perhaps the previous nights crying had worn her out.
It gave Fran and I chance to chat. I’d never talked to her before even though we’d been neighbors for 4 years. She was obviously missing her husband and finding life difficult as a mother. I think the wine hit her immediately since she soon was asleep on the sofa. It gave me chance to tidy up and I left the kitchen as tidy as it had been when I’d left earlier in the day.
Then I looked out of the kitchen window and saw two cars parked in our driveway. Helen must have returned early afterall. OMG what was I going to do? She’d see me like this if I went home now and so would the visitor. I wasn’t ready for a confrontation or any embarrassment.
I checked my phone. No messages. What was Helen doing?
I heard a car start and just saw Helen climbing in beside the driver. I think it was her personal trainer and they were obviously going out because Helen had changed from her business suit.
I decided to wake Fran and tell her what happened.
‘Look Robyn she obviously is trying to upset you so why not get in first and make her worry about you instead.’
‘Well don’t go home just stay here and send a message on the answer phone like she did.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Why not. Come on let’s do it. I can lend you some things and show you how beautiful you really are. What do you think?’
‘Err I can’t. I never let Helen down.’
‘Come on Robyn. Stand up to her.’
To be continued ………………………
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 6
Fran gave me a look as if she needed an answer and she wasn’t going to let it drop.
‘Fran, honestly I can’t be awful to Helen. She never did anything bad to me; she just thinks I’m not assertive enough.’
‘You mean she thinks you shouldn’t be assertive. She seems to like to be in charge. Don’t you ever feel she holds you back?’ Maybe she decided a long time ago that she will be the one who wears the trousers in your marriage. That’s how Jason has been with me but he doesn’t realize that I let him thinks he is the boss. Well at least that was the case until Beth came along. I have been sinking fast until you rescued me yesterday and gave me chance to sleep. At least today I could think straight. ’
‘You’re the second person today who said that Helen wears the trousers. She doesn’t. Nobody wears the trousers, we are equal.’
‘Put it this way, if she said she was going to show you how to be a man then she doesn’t think you are equal. She must have had a reason to say that. What do you think she meant?’
‘I don’t know because she was being unreasonable. She was in a bad temper.’
‘Well no need to take her bad temper out on you. You should let her know it’s not acceptable. I would have let Jason have it right between the eyes. Well more probably between the legs.’ She laughed and it made me laugh too because Jason is much bigger than her. Much bigger than me too.
‘I can’t imagine you hitting Jason. He is big and strong.’
‘Yes but he’s a man and he won’t hit a woman so I guess that gives me the advantage.’
‘Yes that’s my problem too I suppose.’
‘Well if you dress like a man I can agree but with my training you can be on equal terms with Helen. Ha-ha at least you can both at least have one leg in the trousers.’
Then she dis appeared and I sat and reflected she had said. Maybe I should stay to let Helen know that I was upset. I assumed she would arrive home late anyway and I didn’t want an argument. I thought that we both might need our own space.
When Fran re-appeared I told her that I’d stay. Well for a while at least. Possibly I’d stay over unless Helen came home early. I thought she’d be upset if she thought that anything had happened to me.
Fran smiled and said she’d been sure I’d follow her advice so she’d opened the windows in the spare bedroom to let in some fresh air.
I thanked her for helping me but just to be sure it was OK I decided to pop back next door to home to check to see if Helen had left a note or anything. She hadn’t so I just quickly scribbled one on the notepad at the side of the telephone and left on some lights so she knew I’d at least been home after she’d gone out.
I just wrote that I was staying over with a friend and she could call me if she liked when she was ready to apologies.
I must admit I almost went back to throw the note away but Fran pressed me not to weaken. So I didn’t.
As she said I could check anyway by looking out of the window to see if Helen was home if I had any doubts.
I think we’d both helped each other and she was very pleased that I’d come to her rescue and very impressed with her ‘new’ kitchen.
I guess I was a bit embarrassed by the accolades. I enjoyed myself and it had been a favor on my part rather than a task. We sat together over a coffee and then Fran decided we should make a more formal arrangement about me helping her and how many hours I’d work. She wanted to make a list of things for me to concentrate on and things I didn’t need to do.
Then we tried to talk about the level of payment I’d receive. That was the most difficult part because I had no idea what to charge and felt this might affect our blossoming friendship. But Fran was very persuasive.
Once we had compiled the agreement and ‘Fran’s rules’ we sat on the sofa to relax and watch some TV.
I told Fran about the programme I’d watched about the man who had entered the beauty pageant and who looked like a woman even when working as a man. She was intrigued so she checked her TV and found the programme was stored and could be down loaded.
So we watched it together and Fran was as amazed as I had been how beautiful this man was when dressed as a woman.
We both agreed that during the interview she/he was dressed as a woman and behaved completely as a woman would do with all the mannerisms and sitting properly with her legs crossed. I wasn’t sure that the presenter, Eamon Holmes, made of her/him since he does like to chat up ladies. He seemed strangely quiet and his partner asked most of the questions.
Fran said that I should experiment too and go a step further because she was sure that I would look just as attractive. I was embarrassed but I was also feeling I’d like to try.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well if you like I could give you a make-over since I used to work on the make-up counter at Boots store. I felt the same feeling that came over me earlier in the day and I couldn’t stop myself from showing more and more interest in frans proposals. I was trying not to show that I’d like to accept and eventually she switched off the TV, grabbed my hand and pulled me onto my feet.
I meekly followed her as we went upstairs into her bedroom tip toeing past Beth who was still sound asleep.
I was as excited as I’ve been in many a day as we entered her room. Maybe I should have had the corage to do this with Helen when we were first married. She’d tried to put make-up on me one evening when we were relaxing in a hotel room away from the rain outside.
I was amazed at all the beauty products on display on Fran’s dressing table. She must have raided the store when she left.
She sat me down and picked up a hairbrush starting by brushing out my hair to liven it up. I liked it.
The more she brushed it the better it felt and she parted it from the right hand side and then decided to trim the ends curling them under a little bit with the brush. As I sat in the chair looking into the dressing mirror it was as if I was unable to move. With the eyeliner and the touch of lipstick I’d used I saw my sister and maybe a younger version of mum looking back at me. I was smiling as Fran fussed around. Then she set to work with my face. First she used a cleanser to remove some of the foundation I’d applied earlier and said it was also to clean the pores of my skin. The more she worked on me the softer my features seemed to become. She used a beauty oil to finish and then took out the biggest make-up palette I’d ever seen to find the right color to match my skin tone.
She showed me how to properly apply under base mousse and then hide the dark patches and perhaps the most amazing thing she did was to use the various shades of foundation to make my nose thinner and my cheekbones more prominent.
She worked hard on my eyes and added false lashes that she thickened with mascara. The result was that I wanted to flick my eyes as fast as I could like a butterfly with new wings. It was the most wonderful sensation.
Finally she used a lip maximiser to pump up my lips so that they appeared much fuller after she applied the lipstick.
I wanted to reach forward and kiss the mirror. Who was this new girl staring back at me. I stood up and hugged her jumping up and down slightly with excitement.
‘Wait a minute.’
She opened a wardrobe door and took out a soft silky black dress and insisted that I try it on. As it hung from my shoulders and over my chest my nipples became aroused and were obvious through the dress.
Ah-Ah you’re enjoying this Robyn. I think I’ll have to find you a bra or they’ll be jutting out for the rest of the evening.
She fitted me out OK and even insisted I work some hold up stockings.
I just wanted to dance and Fran was smiling at me as I jigged about.
I suppose the excitement caused Beth to stir and so that put a stop to us dancing around.
I went downstairs to warm a bottle of milk whilst Fran changed Beth.
We sat together as Beth hungrily searched for food. Fran then opened her shirt front and allowed Beth to search for her breast. Fran was wincing a little as Beth was clearly biting a little.
For a few minutes I sat mesmorised as mother and daughter bonded and held the bottle that was the reserve supply.
Fran moved Beth across and then said she was almost empty and would I like to hold Beth and feed her.
Without thinking I just said ‘But I don’t have any milk.’
Fran cracked out laughing and so did I when I realized how silly I’d been. “I meant the bottle.’
I guess I realized how nice it would be if Helen and I could have a baby. I had to talk to her and make amends. A baby might just soften Helen and bring us together.
I put Beth over my shoulder to release the trapped wind and looked at Fran as she was still smiling about what I’d said. ‘It was such a natural reply. I think you were disappointed.’
In truth I was because I did want to experience the feeling but for now it was good enough to join in.
Beth was ready to be bathed by now so that was another first for me as Fran showed me how to prepare everything so that Beth could be immersed safely in the water. I had baby powder all over me as we put Beth into her sleep suit. But I’d enjoyed myself.
I cleared up whilst Fran put Beth to bed and I looked across at my house to see if there was any sign of Helens return.
When Fran came downstairs she said she was whacked out and asked if I minded if she went to bed. We both went up and Fran showed me into the guestroom where I changed out of the dress and removed the make-up using cleansing products that Fran provided.
On the bed was a silk nighty that was cut to my knee. It had thin straps that I carefully lifted over my shoulders and again the silk material had a dramatic effect on my nipples.
I picked up 2 magasines from the side table and slipped under the duvee.
I think that Fran must have been sound asleep before I finished removing the make-up.
I read for about half an hour before I heard Beth starting to cry. Maybe she had had an accident in her nappy so I shot out of bed to look before Fran was disturbed.
She was dry so I concluded that her gums were hurting.
I let her bite my knuckles and she bit quite hard. No wonder Fran had winced.
I took her to my room and sat on the edge of the bed. At least she’d stopped crying so that Fran could sleep. I cuddled her back to sleep but all the time I had an aching feeling in my chest. Aching to hold Beth to me as Fran had done but not daring to even risk doing it. If Beth belonged to Helen and I no doubt I’d have tried.
I put her back in her cot and as I washed my hands I heard a car in my drive. I opened the window. It was Helen being dropped off by Emma. Helen seemed to bend and kiss her as she got out of the car but I couldn’t be certain.
I leaned forward as much as I could to watch the car disappear and Helen go through the front door.
OMG should I go home and face her or let her worry about me?
To be continued …………………..
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 7
I leaned forward as much as I could to watch the car disappear and Helen go through the front door.
OMG should I go home and face her or let her worry about me?
………………..
I waited for a while not knowing what to do. I liked to feel appreciated by Fran and I liked the day I’d had and I wanted to feel like this again. Maybe again and again I don’t know. Yes I do. I like it!!
I wondered if I dare meet Helen like this as the Robyn she’d pushed me to be. I was certain that she would be angry to see me like this at Frans house and in a nightdress with make-up, with a relative stranger.
For certain I shouldn’t do this but that was it. As far as I’m concerned Helen might want me to give in and be in total control. Maybe her intention is to emasculate me completely and after all why would she say ‘I’ll show you how to be a man?’
Did she want to take full charge and run my life? We were comfortable just with Helens salary and yet why was she wanting me to stand up for myself and get a good job? Why did she want me to be more of a man? Or was she putting me to the test?
I decided the best thing I could do was to clean myself up and dress and then just go home and beg forgiveness for upsetting her. I never meant to let her down and it hurt me a lot that she was disappointed in me. But I like Fran and I like to help her and to chat with her. I would really like to help her as I’d agreed and Helen might object if I tell her.
I never used to be like this when I first met Helen. We fell in love as soon as we met. There was something that had clicked immediately between us and we were married within 7 months of meeting.
I was the most successful of the two of us at first until she changed jobs and her boss became her mentor at work and pushed her to take on more and more management duties.
Then Fran appeared. ‘What’s wrong?’
I told her that Helen was home and that I should dress and go home.
‘Look it’s up to you. If you weaken now then in my opinion it’s a backwards step. Have you ever discussed your true feelings with Helen? Did you ever show her how beautiful you are and how lucky she is to be married to such a sensitive and caring man?’
‘But I can’t let her see me like this. She might be upset and ashamed. I never discussed my true feelings with her.’
‘But you aren’t a freak. This is just another side of you that maybe she realizes exists. Women aren’t fools you know. We pick up on these things. Didn’t she ever suggest exploring a little or pay complements about your skills around the home. Or even how handsome you are. Ore even beautiful if I dare say.’
‘Well I suppose she has sometimes joked a little bit with her friends about her dependence on me at home and she referred to me several times as her ‘wife’ but only joking.’
‘Did that make you angry or did you like it?’
‘I liked it but tried not to show it.’
‘Then why not exploit it and explore a little?
‘I can’t.’
Just then the door bell rang and Fran jumped up.
‘Who on earth is that at this time?’ stay there I’ll go and look.’
I couldn’t let her answer the door so late on her own so I stood at the bottom of the stairs as she shouted through the locked door.
‘Who is it?’
‘it’s Helen from next door. I saw you had a light on. Can I come in a minute I’m trying to find Robyn. Did you see him today by any chance?’
Fran let her in so I went up the stairs to the landing so I was hidden from view. They went through to the kitchen and so I couldn’t hear them very well. I hoped that Fran would cover for me and wouldn’t tell Helen what I’d been doing. I couldn’t bear to face Helen like this. OMG please Fran don’t say anything.
I was like a frightened schoolboy so I decided to put on the clothes I’d been wearing and rush home to change. I couldn’t let Helen find out so please Fran stall things until I can get home.
I was out of the door in just a few minutes wiping off the mascara and lipstick as I went using a packet of wipes that Fran had given me. By the time I was in the bathroom at home most of the make up had gone but I still looked more feminine than masculine.
I ruffled my hair and washed my face. My skin appeared softer with the cream I’d been using and I tried my best to look like Robyn the man.
I found a sweatshirt and some jeans. What to do with the bra and panties. I hid them in my wardrobe in one of my suit bags. I could see the marks left on my skin and my nipples were still quite enlarged.
I’d liked the feeling of comfort that the bra had provided and the sweatshirt rubbed against my nipples that were a little bit tender today.
I looked in the mirror. I looked more like the normal Robyn. Huh what is a normal Robyn?
Then I received a text message from Helen asking me to call her as she was worried and a second soon after from Fran saying she hadn’t told her anything but that we’d had a coffee together and I’d helped her by looking after Beth for a while to give her chance to rest.
I sent a text back saying I was at home just as I heard her unlocking the front door.
I looked in the mirror again. I might not look great but at least I’d managed to change so Helen wouldn’t go spare or kick me out.
She shouted to see if I answered and I answered.
‘Where the hell have you been, I’ve been worried? What’s wrong with you today? Are you crazy or something?’
’ Huh, where have you been more like? I’ve been upset all day and I was so angry with you that I almost left.’
‘Come on Robyn you infuriated me. I did at least expect you to call me to apologise.’
‘It’s not me who needs to apologise it’s you. I didn’t do anything and it was you who hurt me. You slammed the door and stormed off in a huff and said you’d show me how to be a man. Then you come home with your girlfriend and go off with her without even leaving a note or sending a message. Is that what you call being a man? Behaving in such a selfish way.’
‘How do you know that Emma came here? Where were you? Were you in the house hiding?’
‘No but I saw you both together. Is there something between you two that I should know about?’
‘What if there was? Would you do something about it? Would it make you angry?’
‘No.’
‘No to which question?’
‘No,No then.’
‘So you don’t care enough to fight for our relationship? Are you saying you don’t love me enough to at least have an argument? What’s happened to you Robyn? You behave more like a teenage girl than a man these days.’
‘There you go again. You make my blood boil. Can’t you see that each time you say such things it makes me feel bad about myself? I can’t help it if I am like this. I am different to you and these days I feel different. When we first met you respected me and looked up to me. Now you talk to me as if I’m not capable of doing anything. ‘
‘Look Robyn all I do is try to push you to stand up for yourself. You have no confidence anymore.’
My eyes filled with tears and I ran upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door. Helen knocked and tried to open it but I refused to answer. In the mirror I could see that I hadn’t cleaned the mascara away properly and it would have been obvious that I’d been wearing make up if Helen saw me.
‘Just leave me I’ll be OK I’m taking a shower.’
‘OK but please come back downstairs afterwards because we need to talk this through.’
To be continued………………
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 8
I looked at myself in the full length mirror standing with tear filled eyes. Mascara runs on my face and hair still styled in a pony tail and so I took out the hair band to let my hair fall. I brushed it out again with a centre parting and looking at it I decided that I would let Fran shape and style it. I wanted to see if the girl that i could now see in the mirror could go one step further to look even more convincing.
Unfortunately right now I looked washed out as if I needed a good meal or some fresh air and exercise to bring some colour to my cheeks. In truth I had not been too energetic recently other than doing chores around the house and I didn’t go out much.
I had days where I hardly ate anything so my weight had dropped. Also these days at dinner I was only eating half the quantity of food that I used to eat when I was first married and I didn’t drink alcohol or fizzy drinks anymore. This was better for Helen who did a lot of entertaining so I often did the driving or dropped her at restaurants and collected her later if it was a serious meeting.
One of her male colleagues tended to dote on Helen and he had a habit of poking fun at me that I chose to ignore to avoid embarrassment. One of Helens Managers had commented that I am lucky to be so slim and that she wished she had my hips. I’d never felt lucky at all because I was always teased and considered to be a whimp.
All this entertaining did mean that Helen was gaining weight but her exercise programme seemed to be working so she was still quite trim. No wonder I could fit into her jeans these days since she’d taken several inches from her bottom region. I thought I might look through a bag full of clothes that she’d discarded for a collection by a Charity shop. My wardrobe was limited and I reckoned it wouldn’t harm if I wore her trousers and leggings around the house. I thought Fran might encourage me as well if I told her.
The bag was in the bottom of her wardrobe and I couldn't resist taking a quick look through the items. I wanted to keep them all and looked forward to try each item because today whilst out in town shopping I’d felt different whilst dressed in Helens clothes.
I’d been very pleased with my appearance, especially after applying some make-up to bring colour to my face. I stared at the person in the mirror. With more flesh around the bust area this would be a woman for sure.
I dropped the towel to look at myself. I had so enjoyed the experience today and I wanted more. But could I face Helen and tell her what I'd done and how I'd felt? I wished she would give me time to myself and let me have the chance to explore this experience a little more.
I stroked my hips and bum to feel the soft skin that was already almost hairless after shaving. I felt I would like to remove the last traces of hair from beneath my arms and on my forearms and I should tidy up my legs. Even with some hair I looked more like a woman than a man.
I flexed my arms and at least then I had some muscle definition. I suppose with regular work outs I could make myself look more like the person that married Helen. Maybe then I’d be more confident in myself and improve my chances of getting a job.
But on the other hand I’d had an offer to help Fran and I didn’t want to let her down. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything to Helen for a while and see how things developed. Something might crop up if I kept checking the internet sites. I only needed to find a way to keep Helen off my back.
I was startled by a call from Helen that shocked me into picking up the towel and covering myself. I How girly was that reaction. I said ‘I’m OK now I’m coming.’
I wrapped the towel around me and went to the bedroom to find some clean jogger bottoms and a sweatshirt that I liked to wear. The sweatshirt was a bit big for me these days but I guess that I liked it because it was somehow neither masculine or feminine and it was so soft and comfortable to lounge around in.
It was strange that I decided to wear a pair of tight underpants beneath the jogger bottoms that seemed more hygienic. I put on a pair of mules and decided to let Helen see me as I liked to dress when she is not around. A little bit more female than male at first glance. I wanted to go further but the time wasn't quite right.
Helen came upstairs after she heard I was moving around and she enterered the room and stood and looked at me before sitting on the bed.
‘Robyn, you have been acting strangely all day. What’s going on?’
‘What do you mean? Nothing is going on. It’s just that you irritated me and you disappeared to work and no message or anything. Don’t you feel you should have apologised.’
‘No. I told the truth. You have to wake up and be more positive about yourself. Look at you. Not only have you lost your drive and confidence but you look more and more effeminate every day. Are you gay or what?’
‘’How dare you say that. You know I’m not gay. Why say such a thing?’
‘Well you look more like a girl these days and you act like one. You’ve lost weight and I’m sorry if it offends you but I thought it was a woman in front of me when I entered the room. Also it’s a while since we made love together so are you sure that you are OK? I’m your wife afterall so if you have any problems I hope you’d be truthful to me.’
‘Helen I am sorry. I know I haven’t been the same man that you married but you’ve changed too. Everything has gone right for you but I feel like I’m in a downwards spiral.’
‘Robyn I can help you but you have to also help yourself. Are you jealous of my success or what?’
‘Yes a bit. But no not really. In fact I suppose the truth is that I’m very proud of you. I guess your confidence has grown and your lifestyle has changed. So I am living in your shadow these days.’
‘Well I can’t stop myself at the moment. My career is important to me and the more challenges that come along the thirstier I become for more.’
‘Helen please don’t misunderstand. I don’t want to hold you back at all. But please accept that I am different and that I don’t have your confidence or ability to manage people.’
‘Robyn look let’s get this sorted out and make a plan together. Otherwise I fear we’ll grow further apart.’
‘OK.’
‘Look do you mind if we finish our chat in bed because I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow I’m going on a business trip for a few days since we have a Sales Convention.’
‘Why didn’t you say that you were going away? That’s part of the problem I seem to be the last to know.’
‘OK,OK Robyn I should have told you last week but the truth is I only just decided today. I promise that I’ll let you have more notice in future. Trust me.’ I promise that we’ll find time.’
‘Helen there you go again. You do take me for granted.’
‘Look I promise that we’ll find time. Perhaps we can go somewhere for a couple of days to work things out.’
I didn’t feel too much like carrying on the conversation so I went downstairs to tidy up and turn out the lights whilst Helen used the bathroom. She was already in bed when I entered the bedroom to change into my sleeping shorts and T shirt.
As I changed I felt Helen looking at me. ‘Robyn why don’t we cuddle up for our chat. Since I’m away for a few days after tonight it’s your chance to be a man and I’m feeling a little bit horny watching you change.’
‘I thought about what Fran had said so I deliberately sprayed some of Helens cologne on my chest and plucked up the courage to say that maybe tonight she should fulfill her promise and show me how to behave like a man.
It was like flicking a switch. Helen threw back the duvee to entice me into bed and there she was completely naked.
‘Helen I’m not sure I’m ready.’
‘Come on Robyn turn off your light and we’ll make love by moonlight if you draw back the curtains. I’m sure that you will be fine. I will help you if you like. I can make love to you for a change. You do look sweet and you selected my favorite cologne. Will you join me Ms Robyn?’
‘OK.’
‘wait a minute why don’t you undress and slip on my nighty. Here I’m sure you will like the feel of the material. I certainly will.’
As I removed my T shirt I felt a tingling like never before in my shorts and Helen just winked and whispered ‘Come on before you get too excited and have an accident. I think we’ve found your magic button’.
I turned off the bedside light and Helen took my hand and drew me into her open arms and her warm bosoms.
What to do?
To be continued………………
a short Chapter.....the change begins...
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 9
For a few moments I was stunned. Something inside me wanted this experience but at the same time I felt that I shouldn’t. I was feeling mixed up inside and any tingling sensation in my groin was now gone.
I couldn’t let Helen make love to me. That’s supposed to be my responsibility.
‘Helen this is wrong. I can’t. Please I can’t.’
She whispered to me. ‘Come on Robyn you don’t need to be frightened. I won’t hurt you.’
I’d never seen Helen like this before.
‘Helen I can’t. I shouldn’t be dressed like this. It’s wrong.’
‘Robyn just relax. You’re not exactly taking the initiative anymore in our love life so it might as well be me. So why not let me make love to you.’
‘I can’t, it’s not right.’
She was stroking my body as she whispered. ‘Come on Robyn, you know you want to.’
‘Helen, stop please. I have to take off this nightdress. This is not right. It’s not me. What must you be thinking?’
‘Don’t be silly, I’m not thinking anything. You looked so nice tonight and I’ve been wondering about you for a while now. Wouldn’t you like to explore a little at least?’
‘But Helen I’m your husband and I’m a man.’
‘Well you are my husband but you’re also you’ve been a wonderful wife as well.’
‘I’m not a wife….. I’m a man.’
‘Robyn you make a wonderful wife, so much better than me. You’re so good at all the wifely things. You are so good making a home. Don’t you think you’d like to experience being my wife upstairs as well as downstairs?’
‘Helen, no, I mustn’t. I’m your husband.’
‘Robyn, you have been a wonderful husband but tonight I want you to become my wife.’
‘No,no,no please. Helen what has come over you.’
‘Robyn I just fancy to make love to you. I can be the man and show you how to make love to a woman. Or we can make love as woman to woman. Which do you prefer to try?’
‘Helen are you crazy. Please stop before we do something we’ll both regret. I’m a man, I’m a man.’
‘No Robyn you’re a woman tonight. My woman.’
‘Ooohhh please Helen you know how I’m ticklish with my ears.’
Helen was blowing softly and kissing and tugging gently on my earlobes. She then bit one just enough so that I squealed slightly. Yes I squealed. Was that really me?
’Robyn just look at the moon and how it lights the room. Look at the stars. This is the pefect night for you to lose your little cherry.’
‘Helen please I like it, omg I like it please don’t stop.’
Helen had lifted the nighty and was kissing my tummy and then my ‘breasts’ They felt like breasts rather than a manly chest and she tugged gently on each nipple.
‘robyn this is how to arouse a woman. Don’t you feel how nice it is?’
‘Yes,Yes it’s fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Please don’t stop.’
‘Robyn just look how exited you are. That’s not very ladylike. It’s not so strong as it used to be but I’m sure it’s enough.’
Helen carried on kissing me and moved to my tummy again. I raised her face to mine and urged her to kiss my lips. She pushed me back and her tongue darted in and out of my mouth touching mine and then pushing deeper each time.
She climbed over me and with her knee she parted my legs and held back my arms. She pushed her groin to mine and gently rocked backwards and forwards as if she had her own penis ready to penetrate me. It was like we were making love and I felt I wanted to be penetrated. Helen increased the intensity and became the aggressor pushing hard into my groin. Then harder and harder.
We carried on for several minutes and probably longer before she seemed to explode and this was followed several more times. Unlike me where I would explode once and fall away she was able to repeat the explosion and then
Finally she seemed finished and just bit my lip, kissed me passionately and sank back to her side of the bed where she let out a huge sigh of satisfaction.
’You see Robyn now how a man should treat his wife. With love and passion. I think you lost your cherry. Am I right.’
I felt between my legs at my softness. I’d obviously been so entranced I hadn’t realised that I’d ejaculated and I was damp.
Helen put my head on her shoulder and gently kissed me before closing her eyes and falling to sleep.
I felt like I was floating above the bed. That had been so wonderful. Had I really allowed Helen to seduce me? What on earth will she thinks when she wakes up. Should I get out of bed and change. OMG what on earth is happening to me. I wanted this feeling to last forever. I looked out of the windows at the stars and the bright moon.
‘What will Helen think when she wakes up. She is going away for a few days so I won’t have chance to explain that this was all a mistake. Oh Helen what have you done to me?
Why?
To be continued ……….
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 10
‘What will Helen think when she wakes up. She is going away for a few days so I won’t have chance to explain that this was all a mistake. Oh Helen what have you done to me? Why?
…………………………
I must have fallen into a deep sleep after that because I never stirred until the sun was shining through the window. I’d no idea of the time and I reached for Helen but she had already got up.
I gradually came around and felt beneath the covers touching the silk nightdress. I felt different. I had no early morning stiffness and my nipples were tingling no doubt due to the attention from Helen.
The house was silent and I looked across at the bedside clock.
It was only 7-45am but normally I’d have been up and around for an hour at least. I’d forgotten to set the alarm and by now Helen would be leaving for work.
I pushed back the covers and dropped my feet to the soft carpet sitting up. I stretched my arms and shoulders. Oh I’d a job to do today for Fran. I’d have to get moving soon.
Where was Helen?
I could smell freshly brewed coffee and heard Helen coming up the stairs.
As she entered the room I tried to cover myself realising I was sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightdress.
She was carrying a small mug of coffee and as she entered the room she smiled and said good morning. I wasn’t sure if it was a smile of friendliness or if she was laughing at my predicament.
‘Morning Robyn. Up at last then. I thought the smell of coffee might make you stir.’
‘Err, morning. Thanks. I’m sorry I didn’t get up to make it for you. And I’m sorry for last night. I don’t know what came over me. ‘
‘Nothing to be sorry about. I hope that you enjoyed the special attention. You certainly look as if you did.’
She was glancing at the bed that was completely dishevelled compared to normal when the covers would hardly be disturbed.
‘Oh I’m sorry. It’s a mess and I’ll have to tidy them up and wash everything through. I seem to have lost my self control last night.’
She smiled and kissed me gently on the lips as she placed the mug of coffee by my side.
‘Are you staying there for a while to drink your coffee? I’m gonna have to shoot since I’ve to pick someone up and we’ve a flight to catch.’
‘Oh you’re going so soon. I thought you might want me to explain about last night.’
‘What’s to explain? I hope you enjoyed this new experience. Did you like it?’
‘Well it was very nice but I feel so guilty.’
‘Come on Robyn. Just think about how it felt and what happened. For me it was a long time coming. I finally found your magic button and you lost your cherry. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling?’
I could only smile weakly and pick up the coffee to take a sip. ’ Helen I hope that you didn’t feel ashamed of me.’
‘Ha come on Robyn. I took your cherry so I’m on top of the world today. Just sorry I can’t climb back in alongside and make love all morning.’
‘But you’ll be late and I have things to do.’
‘Don’t worry I have to go but think about what happened and if you’d like to do it again. I’ll call you from the airport. See you Friday evening or Saturday.’
With that she blew a kiss and headed for the door turning to say ‘By the way feel free to explore a little more whilst I’m away. You should try some other things now we’ve seen the effect of my nightdress.’
‘Oh bye.’
I drew my knees together and sat up in bed resting against the soft pillows to sip my coffee. I let out a long sigh of relief realising that Helen was not angry and had not been upset or offended by my appearance. I must look awful and silly in her nightdress.
I looked out of the open curtains. What a truly nice experience to make love in the moonlight and not feel pressure or guilt that I might not perform or satisfy Helen. I’d somehow satisfied Helen at long last yet I hadn’t had to do a thing.
I got up and looked out of the window to see her driving off and waved even though she probably couldn’t see me. I looked across at Frans house. I thought I’d better get moving since I had to help her and start my new job. Probably Helen had left the kitchen in a mess as well and I need to take a shower and change the bedding after last nights exploits. So no chance for a job search this morning.
I looked in the full length mirror as I ran the bath. In front of me was not the man who married Helen but a feminine man who looked more woman than man. She looked OK. Not beautiful and not too pretty but OK.
I sank into the warm suds and lay back and closed my eyes. Helen had certainly made me feel very different last night and I liked it. I couldn’t explain how I’d been excited without any sensation and had no recollection of any penetration taking place. All I could remember was the feeling of Helen pushing into my tum and how strong and seemingly experienced she’d been when she’d pushed my legs apart. I wondered if she’d done this before with someone.
I tried to dismiss any such thoughts and hoped we might do it again provided that my weakness hadn’t made her angry once she’d had chance to reflect on what happened.
As I dried myself with a soft pink towel I admired my hairless shapely legs and firm buttocks. I was soft and pink due to the warm bath and I liked the sweet smell of the soaps I’d used.
I reflected on Helens last words before she left. Was she offering me free access to her wardrobe? I was sure that is what she’d meant so I opened her lingerie drawer and selected some knickers from the wide selection. There was a matching bra and whilst I’d nothing to fill it I still wanted to try it on.
As I turned to the mirror I liked the image in front of me. I wanted Helen to reappear through the bedroom door but no chance. I was feeling like we could make love and I hadn’t felt like this for a long time.
I picked up a brush from Helens dressing table and gently brushed my hair that was a little damp because of the steam in the bathroom. The more I brushed the softer and sleeker my hair became.
I sat down reaching for Helens make-up bag to search out some marcara and lipstick and put on a soft base of foundation to cover some blotches on my skin.
I felt that I was unlocking another identity inside me and I was ready to take my feminine look a little further. I didn’t go mad since I was going to Frans to help her with her housework so I looked through her trousers and jeans selection. I actually opted for some fairly snug fitting jeans that had narrow legs and hugged my bottom. The did seem to fit perfectly and after some adjustment I could remove all evidence of my masculinity. Maybe the water had helped but in truth I had been feeling that I’d shrunk a bit these last few years.
I padded my bra with some tissues and then found a low cut top with short sleeves that just covered the slight muscle definition in my arms.
I was able to create the impression of a real bust even though it wasn’t so big.
So there I was the new Robyn who was ready to take up the new job next door. I tried a few pairs of shoes before finally feeling comfortable in a pair of low heels that seemed a little wider across the toes than most of the other shoes in Helens wardrobe.
I took one of Helens bags from her bag cupboard and placed a few essentials inside it that included my wallet and my cell phone. Spare lipstick and a small travel pack of make-up included.
I turned to look at myself. Wow was this really me? I felt so grateful to Fran for encouraging me and to Helen for responding so positively last night. I wanted to explore this side of me even more but first I had a few chores to do.
Before I could think of going downstairs I felt I must strip the bed where Helen and I had been so passionate a few hours earlier. I knew that Helen had been so excited that it felt like she’d poured water over me so I knew that the sheets needed changing. I remade the bed with fresh bedding from the airing cupboard and fussed around until it looked perfect without a crease to be seen. I had become an expert at making beds these last few years that amazed Helen. I was always pleased to see am immaculate bedroom and didn’t mind that our décor was feminine.
I put the soiled nightdress in the wash basket for washing later along with Helens smalls. I hoped that she wouldn’t mind. I sorted through the laundry basket and Helen had left her training kit for washing.
As I separated the items into separate wash piles I picked up Helens track suit and checked the pockets. Sure enough she’d not emptied them. Usually it’s a tissue but this time it was a message on a sheet of note paper. It looked like a note from someone at the gym. It was the address and telephone number of a hotel and it just said ‘ I’ve managed to get a cancellation. See you there Hun. Don’t be late!!!! xx. ‘
What was that about? I put the note in my pocket and decided I’d ask Helen later when she called. I decided to get a move on or I’d be late for the first day of my job with Fran.
I was just putting the first load of washing in the machine when I received a text message from Fran asking if I was still OK to help.
I called her straight back to tell her I was on my way. She asked if everything had been alright after I’d left her and had seen Helen leave early. I re-assured her and said that I’d tell her the details. She was giggling and just said ‘Oh goody goody.’
I tidied Helens mess in my kitchen and then sorted out some cleaning materials into my cleaning carrier tray ready for my new job. It wasn’t a fantastic job but it was still exiting because it was something I loved to do and I could see Fran and Beth as well. Much better than moping around the house all day on my own.
I was looking forward to see Frans reaction when I told her what had happened last night and to see me dressed in more of Helens clothes. This time with her encouragement. Maybe Helen had intended I dress around the house and wouldn’t like me to venture out. She didn’t know I was going to work for Fran anyway because I hadn’t dared tell her and the opportunity never arose. So I just thought what she didn’t know wouldn’t harm.
I wasn’t totally convincing when I looked at myself in the hall mirror but I looked OK. It was my hair and so I tidied it up and eventually decided I should tie it back into a ponytail and held it their with one of Helens scrunches.
With her bag on my shoulder and my tray of cleaning aids I did look reasonable.
As a working cleaning girl I decided to leave the house by the back door rather than the front. As I closed the garden gate a couple from across the road passed who were walking their dog. Mrs Connor just smiled and said good morning. I smiled back and answered. They stopped and Mr Connor looked at me without any recognition in his expression.
She just said ‘You look busy today.’ I think she was checking to see who I was since they are both in the Neighborhood Watch.’
‘Yes one down and one to go. I’m a friend of Helens and off to see Fran and young Beth next.’
That seemed to do the trick. Thank goodness they believed me. I couldn’t have done with the fuss of a police car.
I tapped on Frans door in case Beth was asleep.
‘Wow, come in just look at you. What a change. What happened you look great. Where did you get those from?' She was looking down the front of my top.
I must have been scarlet red.
‘Nothing happened. But I just nearly had a heart attack when the Connors stopped to check me out.’
She was giggling and looking me up and down as she poured me a coffee. She did look much better today and Beth was sleeping so she had chance to relax knowing she needed rush around cleaning.
‘What happened last night. I promise I never said anything to Helen. I didn’t tell her that you were here when she arrived at the door or that you’d helped me.’
I couldn’t wait to download everything to Fran and it took two more coffees before I plucked up the courage to tell her the intimate details. I couldn’t understand why I told Fran but I liked her and she had a way of asking without being too pointed or nosey. She was genuinely trying to help me.
‘Fran you are paying me so where do you want me to start?’
‘Look Robyn let’s make this easy for each other. I will trust and rely on you to decide what needs to be done at the agreed rate but also I want you to treat this as a favour to a new friend. I hope we can become close friends and I’ll help and encourage you.’
‘Oh Fran that’s so nice. I’m so glad that I came round yesterday.’
‘Let me show you where everything is and today when you’ve finished I will happily trim and re-style your hair. But better still we can go to see Tracey at my salon and we’ll both have a treat. Assuming Beth is fine this afternoon.’
‘Fran I can’t. That’s one step too far.’
‘Course you can. Helen isn’t around and anyway I think she might just like it and dive on you again if you are lucky.’
‘OK I would like that.’
We both laughed loudly together because I didn’t mean what I said I meant I’d like the trip to the salon.’
To be continued …….
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 11
We both laughed together because I didn’t mean what I said I meant I’d like the trip to the salon.’
……………………………………………
So Fran left me to decide for myself where to start and she went into the den to make appointments at the hair salon.
I started in my favourite place, the kitchen and soon I was happily bringing back the shine to all the cupboards and work surfaces. I enjoyed looking out of the kitchen window watching the birds in the garden whilst I washed some utensils that the dishwasher couldn’t clean properly.
The local radio station was quite entertaining that is one of lifes small luxuries for someone working at home or housebound. Apart from all the advertising jingles that is.
I guess that I could enjoy this life if Helen continued with her career progress and I didn’t have much success finding the right job. I feel so proud of her achievements but I do seem to be falling further and further behind her in experience and responsibility. Right now I don’t feel like I could handle some of the things I used to do since I’ve been out of contact with developments through loss of my job.
Sometimes Helen has tried to encourage me and show me copies of reports and presentations she’d produced but to be honest I lose interest after a while and I seem to have so many things on my mind and jobs to do.
Helen does appreciate the support I’ve given her as she has progressed and the fact that I’ve gradually taken over running the home but we have had the occasional argument because I have wanted to chat when she arrives home whereas she feels stressed and wants to disappear into our den to make a few calls. She seems to occupy it far more than I ever did and she leaves things lying around that I daren’t move without consulting her first.
Fran came into the kitchen with Beth in her arms. She looked so sweet but she still seemed to have a little trouble teething and had rosey red cheeks.
‘Will you hold her for me please Robyn whilst I prepare her feed. I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Well I’m in a bit of a mess but I’m happy to help.’
I walked around the kitchen and she was very content looking around. At least I was getting chance to experience holding her that might come in useful one day if Helen and I are lucky.
‘By the way we have appointments with Tracey this afternoon at 3-30pm if that’s OK with you. I thought if you followed me then you might look after Beth if she’s awake whilst I have a wash and dry.’
‘Are you sure since I was quite happy to take you up on your offer for you to give me a trim.’
‘Of course I think we should consult Tracey about a more suitable style for you that makes your hair a little more feminine. With Helen away for a few days it will give you chance to get used to it.’
‘Fran I don’t want to be a freeloader. You don’t have to do this and anyway I’m not sure I’m ready to take another step just yet.’
‘Don’t be so silly. Let’s have some fun together since I never get chance and it’s a new experience for you.’
‘OK you have a certain way with words. I’ll do it but I’m not sure how I should dress.’
‘You can go as you are or I can help you a little bit. It would be better if you got showered and changed when you’ve finished your chores. By the way will you have lunch with me again?’
I couldn’t refuse. Fran went off to feed Beth and I moved to the hall and then the dining room and lounge. Once I got into my rhythm I started to make good progress and I was really enjoying myself. I felt I made a big impact and I moved a few things around a little bit. I could see that Fran was very satisfied.
Fran took Beth for a short stroll in her buggy so that they both got some fresh air. In the meantime I moved to clean upstairs so I could finish before they got back.
I soon finished my chores and was about to start on the guest bathroom when Fran called me from downstairs to join her for lunch. I told her I shouldn’t because I felt grubby from doing the housework and I preferred to shower before having lunch.
She persuaded me that I could shower in the guest bathroom and then clean afterwards to complete my days work. I got a nice surprise because she also offered me a change of clothing and free access to her wardrobe in the second guest bedroom where she’d stored lots of her clothes from before she became pregnant. She said to choose something I could go out in and she’d help me choose after my shower and lunch and could use one of her jogging suits in the meantime.
It was too good an offer to refuse. What was happening to me? I seemed to be in a spiral of happiness and I liked it as the intensity increased.
The jogging suit fitted fine and I brushed my hair. Even with my make-up now gone I still looked more girl than boy. I like it.
Fran offered me the chance to try a few things after lunch and to select some to keep if they fitted OK. The deal was I could use a spare wardrobe and the fourth bedroom and have this as my room to keep the clothes secret in case Helen might object to me wearing borrowed clothes. I couldn’t wait until lunch was over.
By then Beth was sleeping and so Fran sorted out some basic underwear and tights and a few pairs of shoes. She is a half size bigger than Helen and I could already fit the shoes that she had offered to me.
She selected mainly flat shoes but also decided on two pairs with heels that she felt I should try since this is every girls dream. She was right. I had often admired girls with shapely legs and high heels. Especially with dark stockings or tights and black patent shoes but I stopped short of saying anything.
I guess my feet were not quite so narrow as Frans because the first pair were slightly tight across the toes. Fran said we could easily sort that by spraying inside the shoes and using some shoe trees.
We then focused on the trousers, skirts and tops selecting a few different options that I could try whilst she made coffee.
So as Fran sat in the kitchen with her coffee I paraded with different options and Fran said yes or no. What a fun hour we had.
I was really getting into it and Fran noticed that my walk was becoming more and more feminine with each parade. Finally she came upstairs and offered me a bit of advice how to move my hands and arms and how to sit and get up and down. It seemed like my magic button needed pressing again and I so wished that Helen was coming home and that she could see me now.
We padded out my bra and Fran said she’d treat me later if we had time. She wanted to buy me my very own pair of breast forms and she knew the very shop.
So then down to me to choose the appropriate outfit to visit a hair salon. I’d no idea so I let fran choose. She opted for trousers and a top with a pair of shoes with the low heels. She thought I’d be safre and more comfortable with trousers and perhaps a skirt or even a dress might be for another day.
I sat down whilst Fran applied some make-up. She combed my hair back into a pony tail and tied it back and gave me a pair of clip on earings with small hoops.
Oh Helen I wish you could see me now.
Look what you’ve done to me and I like it.
As I stood up and twirled infront of the mirror Fran held my hands and kissed me softly on both cheeks.
‘Robyn I’m so happy to help you to return the favour you did for me. Don’t you think that this is the real you? ‘
‘Mmmm. I do feel rather different. Will it always feel like this or will I get bored do you think?’
‘Well what do you think silly. Did you ever see a women who gets bored trying on new clothes or dressing for her man?’
‘I’m not a woman, I’m a man.’
‘Really since when? Come on we have to get a move on and disturb Beth. Tracey is itching to meet you.’
‘You didn’t tell her did you.’
‘Of course not but I did say I had a very special friend that I wanted to introduce to her and that you were my new best friend.’
As we were leaving the house I got a message on my cell phone. It was Helen.
Should I tell her what we’d been doing or keep it secret?’
‘But I’m a man, I’m a man, I’m a man but I feel like a woman.Oh I really feel like a woman today.’
‘OMG what to do?’
To be continued…………………….
A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 12
‘But I’m a man, I’m a man, I’m a man but I feel like a woman.Oh I really feel like a woman today.’
‘OMG what to do?’
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..…………………….
Before I had chance to decide the phone was ringing so I had no choice but to answer. It was Helen.
‘Hi sweetheart. Do you miss me?’
‘Oh. Hi Helen. Where are you?’
‘I’m at the hotel silly. I just thought I’d call to make sure you are OK since you were fast asleep when I left this morning. Are you OK?’
‘Yes, I’m OK thanks.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Come on what’s wrong? Have I upset you.’
‘No. I’m OK. I was just surprised that it was you.’
‘Why? Who were you expecting to call? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothings wrong. I didn’t mean it like that I was just distracted and the phone made me jump. Nothings wrong.’
‘I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. Is it because I didn’t call earlier? Are you sure you’re OK?’
‘ I’m fine. Thanks I’m fine I just feel awkward today.’
‘I didn’t upset you last night did I? I thought that you didn’t mind about our bit of fun. You didn’t really mind did you? I was worried in case we went a bit far. Well in case I went a bit far. You didn’t mind did you?’
‘No I was fine. In fact I was a bit taken aback so I don’t really know what to say. It all happened so fast and it came as a shock.’
‘Did I hurt you? Are you OK?’
‘Well I’m a bit sore and I never felt like this before. This morning I felt exhausted and I could hardly move. I didn’t want to get up. I could have stayed in bed all morning.’
‘Why didn’t you? You’re at home all day. You could have recovered slowly and just taken a long soak in the bath. That’s what I’d have liked to do if I didn’t have to come here. I’d have loved to have a cuddle with you since you looked so worried when you woke up . The look on your face when you realized that you were still in my nightdress. You didn’t mind did you?’
‘No I was fine. I must have fallen to sleep without realizing so I guess it was a bit of a shock.’
‘But you looked so sweet and I think you liked it. When I looked at you this morning you looked so feminine. I think you could be really beautiful if you experimented a little bit more. I wanted to start all over again. I had to take a cold shower to calm myself down.’
‘Helen please, someone might be listening.It’s too embarrassing. Don’t say that please. You won’t tell anybody will you. Please don’t it’s bad enough being in this situation without people laughing behind my back.’
‘Robyn don’t worry I’m not going to say a word about it. It’s our secret and nobody can hear me sweetheart. I’m in the lobby. We’ve split for a coffee break. Are you sure you’re OK.? ‘
‘Yes I’m OK and thanks. I’m not really sure what I’d do if you told anybody at work.’
‘Come on Robyn. It was great and it was a long time coming. I’ve wanted to do that before many times but you have been so down. At least last night I felt you had a smile on your face when I came home. So something must have happened and I just took advantage of the moment.’
I went quiet. I didn’t think I could explain over the phone and maybe we should sit down and talk.
Helen broke the silence.’ Did you take a nice long soak or did you enjoy the aroma of our lovemaking? Did you get excited?’
‘Helen please. I did take a nice long soak and I didn’t know whether I should throw your nightdress to the rubbish bin since it was all stained. I had to strip the bed and put everything in the laundry. I’ve never seen you like that before. You were so aggressive. No wonder I ached this morning. I felt like I’d been kicked in the groin. But it was a nice feeling of weakness and I almost crawled to the bathroom. I had to sit down to pee. I had no strength at all. What did you do to me? Was I drunk or something?’
‘HaHa come on Robyn you just lost your cherry. Didn’t you find it this morning? HaHa.’
‘Helen please. I must have been drunk. I’ve never felt like this before. I just don’t know what came over me.’
‘Did you like it? Didn’t you just love it? I thought you were so sweet and so ready to submit. We should have done this years ago.’
‘Helen please. I feel bad enough without you rubbing it in.’
‘What is there to feel bad about sweetheart. You were so responsive. I didn’t have to try too hard. You must have fantisised for this the way you performed. I had nothing left to give at the end and never slept so soundly for a long time. Now I know what is meant by the saying I’m shagged out. I think you must have felt completely shagged out this morning. Did you?’
‘Er yes I had no strength. I don’t remember doing anything but I felt completely empty with nothing left to give. Yet I didn’t do anything. You took me completely.’
‘Yes Robyn now you are all mine. I took all you had to give. What if I’m pregnant? You exploded inside me.’
‘Helen I didn’t. I never felt like I exploded einside you. I didn’t feel like I penetrated you I just felt you pushing so hard and I just responded. It was really nice.’
‘It was more than nice and I can’t wait to come home. Would you like to do it again. It’s the right time for making babies.’
‘Helen we can’t afford for you to get pregnant. Aren’t you taking your pills.’
‘Robyn I haven’t been taking the pill for months. I didn’t need to take any. You’ve been taking the pills these days not me. I hope you are still taking them.’
‘Yes I have but they didn’t seem to have much effect. If anything I’m less in the mood these days that is opposite to what I’d expected.’
‘They are only ginseng tablets so keep taking them and I’m sure they’ll help.’
‘OK I will but it seems like a waste of time to me. You don’t think that I got so excited to make you pregnant last night do you?’
‘it doesn’t take much if the timing is right. But I don’t think the timing is right so I’ll have to take care. I have some business trips scheduled in these coming months and a lot to do. It would be much better sometimes if it could be arranged for men to have babies as well as women. Then that would be proper family planning.’
‘Well I don’t mind doing the chores at home but that would be going a bit too far. Surely your job isn’t so important that you can’t take time out for a family. When I see Fran with Beth I worry that we are missing out.’
‘Yes sweetheart but it takes two and that’s why I think it’s important to build up your libido and I think last night proved you can do it. Even if I had to take the lead. I can’t wait to get back home and do it again. Did you mind me taking over?’
‘Well it was a bit embarrassing and it’s not easy to talk just now. I’m outside and people might hear us.’
I looked at Fran and she kept raising her eyebrows and smiling. She knew it was Helen and even though she pretended not to be listening I knew she knew what we were talking about.’
Helen had to go so I was a bit relieved. But it did make me feel nice as well as a little bit embarrassed. I had enjoyed not having to take the initiative and to let Helen take the lead.
Fran piped up ‘Is she missing you already? You must have been really hot last night. Is she ready for more?’
I giggled a bit and then we both smiled.‘Enough said. A picture tells a thousand words and you look a picture today.’
We chatted a lot as we walked and I took a turn to push the buggy. It was nice to see Fran smile too and she looked like she’d appreciated the last twenty four hours and the chance to relax a bit.
We walked through the park and then picked up a taxi at the cab stand to drop us in the High street close to the hair salon. Fran took me inside to introduce me and then as we’d agreed I left them to it armed with a feed for Beth incase she woke up and Frans big bag of baby supplies over my shoulder.
I decided to head for Marks & Spencers again where I knew that I could warm Beth’s bottle if necessary and at least they would have a baby changing room. Who’d have thought that I’d be walking down a High street with a baby buggy and dressed like this. What would Helen say if she found out? I was going to have to say something when she came back. We never had secrets from each other.
The townhall clock chimed out and Beth stirred a little bit. I stopped to made her comfortable and saw my reflection in a shop window. Was that really me?
I soon learned that maneuvering a buggy was not easy as I made my way through Marks & Spencers. I decided to look at the childrens section since I had an urge to buy something for Beth.
I was enjoying this experience and shop assistants were very kind towards me and weren’t giving me any awkward looks as I’d expected. Probably the baby buggy took away any doubts that anybody might have if they thought I looked a bit manly.
As I paid for a dress that I bought the assistant referred to me as miss rather than Madam. Well at least it wasn’t sir. I realized I had no rings on my finger and so maybe I looked like an unmarried mother but then I could have just as easily been a child minder or Beths auntie. Anyway I decided to stop and buy two rings from the ladies department that looked like a wedding ring and an engagement ring. At least it might be some added protection and anyway I quite liked the idea.
Then I headed to the underwear section. I’d never dared to hang around looking at lingerie even though I’d wanted to on previous trips into department stores. There was so much choice that I didn’t know where to start.
After a few minutes I looked up and was surprised that I was right in the middle of all the racks surrounded by several ladies doing the same thing. Not a man in sight. I was in a new world and I wondered if I dare explore further through the department and even venture into the changing rooms to try on something. Just for a test.
I picked up a bra and pantie set and was looking at the price when an a
ssistant asked if she could help. ‘What size are you looking for Madam. Can I help you.’
‘I had absolutely no idea.’
To be continued ……………………..
Chapter 13
I picked up a bra and pantie set and was looking at the price when an a
ssistant asked if she could help. ‘What size are you looking for Madam. Can I help you.’
‘I had absolutely no idea.’
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
‘Oh thanks. I think I’m OK.’ I seemed to freeze for a moment, unable to speak, as if I was caught shoplifting. Why can’t a man buy womens clothing without feeling someone is waiting to pounce like this? After all women don’t have any hassle at all, or even guilt complex if they buy mens clothing. They can even buy mens shoes without anybody looking at them as if there was something wrong.
‘Er I was just looking for a gift really. It’s not for me.’ Oh no why did I say that?
‘Well if you’d like to look over here we have some special offers and reductions. Come and take a look and you might find something for yourself as well. She looked at me as if she could see straight through the clothes and the make-up and felt awkward and uncomfortable.
‘Now then what size did you say you were?’
‘It’s not for me, it’s for a friend.’
‘Oh well look here these are nice don’t you think?’
By now I was convinced that she knew I wasn’t who or what I appeared at first glance. I tried my best to smile and act confidently. L could see my reflection in a large mirror. I didn’t look like a freak. I looked OK I thought. At least I looked pretty average, not too big and since I was fairly slender I didn’t look any bigger than this over fussy assistant who was either trying to embarrass me or was keen to make a sale.
‘Well I don’t have much time and all I really want to buy a gift for my friend but I wasn’t sure about her size. I’m sure she’s about a 36.’
‘well you look to be 36 so is she similar to you?’
‘Yes we are about the same build, she might be a bit fuller than me.’
‘well if you want we can check in the dressing room.’
‘No need for that I’ll buy a 36C, I’m pretty sure that’s her size.’
‘OK but maybe treat yourself as well. What are you 36A or B? Here it’s 2 for 1 over here even though they are more expensive. Just feel the material and look at the pretty edging. Just two clasps and lots of lift to give you confidence if you want to flaunt a bit to your man.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yes he’ll like you in this one or perhaps this one in black. It comes as a set with matching briefs. Look’
I felt like I was in heaven looking at all the options. I wanted them all so I could try them and see the difference. Maybe with more uplift I’d be able to create a cleavage and wear something to feel even more feminine. What would Fran say? Moreso what would Helen say? I wanted to find out so I ended up buying 2 of each size. 2 36C’s for ‘my friend Fran’ and 2 36B’s for me. ’
I rummaged through my handbag for my wallet and decided to use Helens M&S chargecard. I was glad I carried it and also that I had a bank card with both our names. I could have fun with these if I did this again on my own. Beth was stirring now and I didn’t have long before I was due to meet Fran.
My new friend was happy to make the sale and as I left the counter she was whispering to the cashier and nodding in my direction. But I didn’t care by that time, I’d bought my own bras and two had matching briefs. The feeling was so exhilarating. I’d been me, the other me. The real Robyn, not the one who needed to act manly. The me who could just be me. I didn’t care if the assistants thought I was a man in womens clothes. I was a woman today whatever they thought. I was determined to improve my look and my reactions and to work on my voice and my mannerisms. I wanted to explore more and to experience more shopping days and see life through different eyes for a change.
I took beth upstairs to the coffee shop and as I sipped my latte I gave Beth a drink. She was ever so good today so maybe her new teeth were starting to come through at last. She bit on my finger just to prove it.
After a quick visit to the baby changing room we were ready to head back to the salon to find Fran.
As I reached the lift door who should come out but my friendly assistant from downstairs. She smiled, looked closely at my bust and then into my eyes and said ‘I was hoping to see you and to buy you a coffee. I do hope you like the bras we chose. Have you time?’
‘Well not really since we are meeting Beths mum. She’ll wonder where we’ve been.’
Oh I’m sorry you have to dash but do come back again. When you have more time we can see what type of bra fits you best.’
‘Oh thanks that’s very kind of you.’
‘Well Helen, it was a pleasure serving you because we get a lot of women coming in here who don’t know their sizes. You have a very nice figure and you should show it off more. It’s nice to get the right fitting and I’m sure I can help you.’
‘Oh thanks that’s very sweet of you.’ My God she’d assumed I was Helen from the chargecard.
‘My pleasure. I’m Amy by the way and I work most days. Just ask at the desk if you can’t see me on the floor in case I’m in the fitting room or the stock room.’
‘Thanks. I will’
‘Mmm maybe I would like to come back after all but it might be risky too. But what the heck it’s our money even if I sign as Helen.
She took my hand to shake it and with that I stepped into the lift with the buggy and smiled.
‘Wow Beth that was getting a bit scary. Wait till I tell your mum.’
As we arrived back at the salon Fran was looking out of the window. She smiled and waved and opened the door.
‘Oh Fran you look nice. You’ve changed your hairstyle.’
‘ Yes I feel 10 years younger, do you like it?’
She turned around tossing her head giggling away. What a change in her.
‘Oh fran you do look so nice. It just shows what a bit of your own Fran time can do for you. I so like the style.’
‘Well it’s your turn next and I hope you don’t mind but Patrick is going to look after you and I’ve told him all about you since he is a good friend.’
‘Oh.”
Before I could do anything Patrick was at her shoulder beckoning me to go inside.
‘Now then Robyn is this your first time?’
‘Errr, yes.’
‘Well come with me and by the time Fran comes back I think she’ll not recognise you.’
I sat in a chair and looked at him fussing with my hair and trying to decide about a style and the colour.
‘well I think I know what to do so will you leave everything to me and we’ll wash and highlight your hair the trim it a little bit and then the coupe de resistance. I understand Fran has also booked you for a manicure and a pedicure so it looks like 2 hours at least in my hands. Are you ready for that?’
‘Yes it sounds nice but I hope you don’t get too carried away.’
‘Of course I will. It’s my job to get carried away.’
So that was it, one giant step or run away.’
‘I’m all yours.’
First stop was to visit the sink for a hairwash and then Patrick got started. He mixed some sort of potion and applied it to my hair to create a lighter tone and some streaks and fussed around trimming bits here and there.
‘Now another rinse and we’ll blow dry and style it a bit and I’ve got just the thing we need.’
I was intrigued by now but he wouldn’t tell me.
‘Now your hair is much softer and I’d like to fit some hair extensions. How about it?’
‘No I can’t why not just a wig or a short style.’
‘Because we want a new look for you ready for when Helen comes home. So she can see the real you.’
‘I can’t Patrick please, I can’t. what will the neighbours say.’
‘Well I think Fran will be OK about it and Beth too. That’s two votes so how many more do you want?’
‘Well what about when I’m trying to get a job. I have to go for interviews.’
‘Excuses, excuses. How many interviews have you had? Did you succeed? Maybe when we’re done you will be able to walk into any job. What have you to lose.’
‘Only my marriage and any hope of holding my head high in this town again.’
‘ Well I think you have nothing to lose. Come on be a man. HaHa well be a woman.’
‘But I can’t, no I can’t. Please Patrick I can’t’
‘Oh be quiet and stop feigning a resistance or we won’t be finished when Fran comes back.’
Just then my mobile rang. It was Helen.
‘Hi Robs where are you I called home.’
‘Oh I’m out with Fran and I did some shopping. I’m just in a salon for a cut and blow. Would you mind if I re-styled a bit since Patrick wants to give me a new image.’
‘Who is Patrick?’
‘He works at the salon and he’s a friend of Frans.’
‘Oh yes I know him too. You’re in.the High Street then in ‘Hair Boutique’
‘Yes do you know it.’
‘Of course I do I introduced Fran silly.’
‘Oh.’
‘Just relax and enjoy yourself. Patrick won’t hurt you. Follow his ideas. I wish I was with you to watch.’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’
‘Of course I don’t mind. I’m happy as long as you are happy. Just lay back and think of England. HaHa.’
‘Oh OK then. I’ll call you later when I get home.’
‘I’ll call you. Enjoy!!’’
To be continued……..
A Change In Lifestyle – Final Chapter 14
By Julie D Cole
Patrick apologised that he was the substitute but promised Tracey would be back soon to give her approval and make any final recommendations since it was her salon now. She had taken out a loan and with some private financial support from a friend she had bought out the owner. Jobs were secure because the salon had a good reputation and he was now the senior stylist.
He made me very welcome and settled me comfortably in front of the brightly lit mirrors that seemed to highlight my masculinity. I sat in the big leather swivel seat much like a dentists chair that reclined to the horizontal position. It was upright and Patrick raised it high so that my feet barely touched the floor. He proceeded to examine me closely moving his head from side to side.
‘Mmm Robyn it seems that you have neglected your complexion and your eyebrows need attention. I think we need to shape them. Don’t you use a conditioner at all and have regular visits to a hair salon?’
‘ No I don’t need to and Helen has never complained.’
He continued moving around me and lifting my hair up to expose my ears which he decided needed piercing. He took hold of my chin and I noticed the sweet smell of perfume as he turned my face towards him scrutinising my features. He complemented me on the colour of my eyes and my dimples and high cheekbones and a cute nose. I felt like I had been undressed completely by him. On the upside though there were no negative comments.
‘Well done Helen and Fran for recommending us to help you bring out your femininity. Lots of potential here. You’re not gay by any chance are you?’
‘What do you mean? No I’m not gay.’
‘Well we can all live in hope. What about afterwards will you still like women or switch your favours to men and become a competitor for all the hunks.’
‘No I have no desire or intentions in that regard. This is crazy. I’m a man and a husband. This is just something I wanted to try and it seems to please Helen. You can’t do anything that will be too permanent. I need to focus on job hunting again soon.’
‘Well Helen just said to select a style that would hide your boyish features and that isn’t difficult. I can certainly enhance your femininity and give you a completely new image. What you two decide after that is up to you both.’
What is that supposed to mean?’
‘I hope to arrange you to have the full works starting with shaping and trimming your eyebrows and a bit of waxing here and there. Then some eyelash extensions to give them more body. You have nice lips so maybe just show you how to fill them out a bit. Makes them even more kissable. ’
‘But I thought it was just a hair trim and wash and blow. Then it turned into a re-style with hair extensions and now a restyle with a pedicure and manicure. A hair re-style is OK but extensions? Are you sure? I can still have a pony tail for interviews I suppose but it depends on the length of the extensions. Can I remove them?’
‘Not without help they’ll be sown in so it will feel like natural hair that you can wash and style.’
‘I’m not so sure. Also if my nails are painted that’s another problem I can hide my feet but not my hands. Where does it all end?’
‘Why would you want to spoil my day and fun with Helen? She suggested these add-ons when we spoke. She wants me to change your image to suit your personality. She thinks you are very sensitive and you are naturally cute with beautiful features that need to be highlighted. You will be gorgeous when I’ve finished.’
‘Why didn’t she ask to speak to me? I’m not a plaything. She wants to take away all my masculinity. She already treats me like a woman and I don’t feel like her husband as it is. This will make things ten times worse. Just because I’m quiet and have been moody sometimes doesn’t mean I need a personality fix. OK I lost my job but I’ll get another soon. ‘
‘Well she seems to know what she is doing and what wife would arrange something like this if she didn’t love you? This will be semi-permanent and you’ll have difficulty convincing anybody you were born male for quite a while. Unless you come back for help.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I wish my partner showed his love for me like this.’
‘But I suppose it is worth a try. She is the main breadwinner now and it’s not like we will struggle financially but she shouldn’t assume I want to be a domesticated spouse with a housekeeping budget. I need to hang onto my independence. It’s hard to swallow that she is more successful but I’m trying to come to terms with it.’
‘Yes I can see. But most men would be happy to stay at home and let the wife be the breadwinner. You can visit me regularly and enjoy our facilities. I’m always around if you need a friend and confidant. Who knows if Helen is satisfied she may set up a monthly account for regular treatment. I could help a lot.’
‘You mean completely feminise me?’
‘Why not? You don’t have to face colleagues at work. I understand that you work from home anyway. Why not be a stay at home spouse? I would love that life with my partner. He doesn’t have a top management position though so we can’t afford it. Just take all the domestic pressure away from her. To be honest I’d prefer you stay as a male but you are not gay so just satisfy your partner. We all have to give sacrifices.’
‘I’ve agreed to do that but it was only meant to be temporary. I still do private work from home and I’m job searching too. I have a part time job. I agreed to help Fran out since I have lots of spare time. I do things she hasn’t time to do. Her husband is away a lot and she has no friends or family close by to help her out.’
‘Yes it’s hard for a young mother and she is really nice. You look like really good friends and I can see she is very fond of you.’
‘There is nothing going on between us we are just friends.’
‘That’s between you all and I wouldn’t say anything even if there was. Fran is a good customer and I hope you will be too. ‘
‘I think it’s better left as well since we don’t want to be the subject of gossip.’
‘Yes better I crack on. Just trust me and let me have a free hand please as she suggested. ‘
‘So will it take long?’
‘Let me see. You do realise that you have very features that lots of women would kill for. I should know as much as anybody in this job. I wish I had soft skin and your shape of face. I’d be modelling not working all day in a salon and doing a drag act at weekends. It takes me ages to transform to Patricia.’
‘ I’m a guy and at the moment I feel I’m behaving more and more like a woman. You are even treating me like a female client. I’m male like you.’
‘Not exactly dear. I think we are different. I like men and you don’t. I like a bit of drag now and again for fun but everything goes back in the suitcase when I get into bed.’
‘ Sorry to ramble on to you and I’m happy for you if you have a gay relationship. I don’t think I’m gay I still like women. But I have been surprised how calm I’ve become since I took on more of the home duties and I don’t get as frustrated and angry as I did. I’m not having to compete or report to anybody or supervise.’
‘Well just enjoy it. Change your lifestyle and be the woman that Helen sees and don’t fight it.’
‘I am trying. It has helped by meeting Fran. She already seems to treat me as a girlfriend and she knows I am Helens husband. I hardly know her yet she already says I’m her new bestie and she feels comfortable with me like this.’
That’s nice. You have a kind face.’
‘ She has somebody to talk to now and I like to help her. I can’t see Helen and I having children. Helen is a career woman. She has no desire to be inconvenienced by pregnancy. I would love to have children. A little girl first and then a boy.’
‘Well lots of couples don’t have children. Just enjoy these new experiences. By the time we’ve finished with you today you’ll be feeling fabulous and you’ll wonder why you didn’t visit before now. Maybe Helen will ravish you when she sees the new you and any precautions will fly out of the window.’
‘So are you saying Helen is lesbian and wants me to be her woman? That worries me even more. I’m already suspicious.’
‘Well let’s say she doesn’t hide her likes and dislikes when we chat. That chair seems to loosen tongues.’
‘You’ve got me more intrigued. How can a guy like me who has been a whimp all his life keep Helen attracted to me? Are you saying I need to compete with women not men? Is that why she is paying you to change my appearance?‘
‘ Well it is sure to help your cause in my opinion. We have a lot of skilled staff here to help and a wide selection of beauty products so hopefully you will be happy with the result. You can be a walking advertisement for our salon. Maybe you’ll let me take a few photo’s to show the result.’
‘ If it turns out OK and we both have no problem with the final result. I just hope that nobody recognises me. I still need consider how to focus on my career before I become surplus to the market.’
‘Yeh but you do realise who is putting up the cash to support Tracey don’t you?’
‘No who is it and it is not my business.’
‘ Well clearly you don’t know and I don’t know for sure anyway.’
‘ I just hope Helen is right and that a change of image will give me more confidence and then Helen and I can have a proper chat. She might then help me to find some better job opportunities. I still aim to get into senior management like her one day soon but it’s difficult to keep pace with her. She gets a good salary now with big bonuses. Women seem to get all the best opportunities in my line of business.‘
‘Well we all like bonuses. You might get the biggest bonus of all because I can definitely make you look even more beautiful. What greater gift?’
‘But that will involve living and being treated as a woman.’
‘That might enhance your chances of job opportunities. I would hire you for this salon. It’s hard to imagine you as a man.’
‘But I’m not looking for salon work I am qualified with several years of experience just like Helen. She got promotion. I stood still.’
‘Don’t fret just be patient your chances will come. Unless you change your mind of course. It’s a womans prerogative to change her mind.’
‘Well I can’t look too effeminate because that won’t help based on my CV when employers look at my past experience in interviews. I’ll be judged before I sit down.’
‘Well employers can’t show prejudice they have to treat all candidates fairly.’
‘Well it’s too late now. I’ve shaped your eyebrows and highlighted your hair and next step is the extensions. Then a final trim, wash and blow dry. ‘
‘How much longer is all this going to take? I’m with Fran and I have some chores to do when we get back home. Is it something I can reverse easily?’
‘Well why don’t you let me finish my bit first and Emma has done your manicure and she’ll leave your pedicure until another visit if you like. Sarah has done your lashes and she’ll tidy up your make-up. We should be all done here in 30 to 45 minutes or so. Then a couple of photos for us please. If you are happy we can arrange a photographer to come and take more shots to suit your schedule. ‘
I nodded my approval and looked in the large mirror. My masculinity was already gone along with everything else.
Fran walked in and was amazed as I was. She hugged me as I stood up and twirled in front of her. Patrick was delighted and was busy taking photos to send to Helen and Tracey arrived. She was pleased with the result and couldn’t believe I had entered as a man in female clothes.
This was going to be a big change to my lifestyle.