She realized that in thinking this she was simply stalling from the inevitable task of deleting the last five hundred words she'd written and beginning to tell the story again.
"You coming down for breakfast any time today, baby."
"Yes, Mama Joey. I'm coming down now."
Jubal straightened her clothing and then headed down for breakfast.
"Why look at you. That isn't your normal wear for a school day. What's the occasion?"
"Other than being the first day of my senior year, and my first day officially as student body president?"
"Yes other than that. You're more excited than normal to be going to school this year. You're. . .there's a boy isn't there!"
Jubal began to blush and play with her hair a bit. She'd considered bleaching it a couple of times, but most people had gotten used to the black on her, and she thought they might miss it if she came with another color.
Especially certain people who had been commenting on it this summer.
"There's a specific boy."
"Mama, leave it, okay? Yes, I like a boy."
"You like George."
Jubal's blush deepened to crimson and she hit her face in her hair. She nodded slightly and Mama Joey began to laugh.
"It's not funny, Mama."
"It's hilarious, baby. George has been your friend for a very long time."
"Only six years, Mama."
"When you're only ten, well almost eleven, that is a long time. Does he know?"
"I think he still sees me as the awkward little boy he first met in third grade."
"Jubal, no one who looks at you is going to think you were a boy."
"But, Mama. All the other girls are. . .well. . .endowed."
"All the other girls are seventeen or eighteen."
"Okay, so I'm a little younger than they are."
"You're a little younger than George is."
Jubal took a deep breath and sighed, "I know. and logically I know this won't work out. He'd have to wait about six years before anything can happen, and I have a pretty good idea how boys are."
"How do you know that? Because I was comforting both Amanda AND Katie after their breakups this summer."
"So that was it. I thought we were having unscheduled torrential flooding."
"I care deeply for both of them, but it really put a damper on writing."
"You still trying your hand at that?"
"I sent the first couple of chapters as a test to Beverly, and she said they show potential. She also said I need to not try as hard. I need to be natural about it. Write it like I'm telling a story. I try, but it never quite comes out the way I want it to."
"Tell. . .why didn't I think of this before. Follow me, baby."
Jubal followed Mama Joey down the hall. She'd known that there was a storage space under the stairs, but in the three plus years she'd been here, Mama Joey had never looked in there.
"This stuff used to belong to my husband."
"I never knew you were married."
"There's a lot about me you never knew. Not that I wanted to keep it from you, just that it never came up. We've been worrying so much about you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've loved having you in this house. It's never dull, that's for sure. Ah, here it is."
She handed Jubal an old micro cassette recorder.
"He was a lawyer, my husband. Bought me this house his first year out of law school. He made noises a couple of times about moving us into a bigger place, but I wouldn't have it. This place has always been big enough for me."
"When did he die?"
"Oh, long before you were born, honey. Anyway, he used to record all of his client meetings on this, and then transcribe them later. I figured that it might help if you told your story to the recorder, and then did the same."
Jubal looked a little skeptical, but at Mama Joey's hopeful expression she relented and smiled.
"I'll try it out, Mama. Can't be any worse than my current writing."
Mama Joey hugged her. "I know it will work for you."
Jubal looked at the clock on the wall and started, pulling from the hug. "I've got to go, Mama."
"Then shoo. Be off with you. Go knock him dead."
"I'll try not to kill him too much."
She rushed upstairs to get her book bag and then rushed out the door. She usually ran to school, as Griffin Academy was only a couple of miles away. Today, she was more conscious of the way she looked so she went at a more sedate speed.
When she got to school, she smoothed the white dress over her knees, and adjusted the brocade vest. She took a step toward the door only to be run over by a blue and green blur.
"Hey, watch where you're going."
"Sorry, Frosh. I needed the door more than you did?"
"Frosh? Excuse me?"
"Freshman. You'll get used to it, baby."
And then he was off through the doors and racing through the halls of the school.
"I wasn't asking for clarification, you jerk." She said under her breath as she entered the school.
She had government for her first period class this year, which simply meant that she had a student council meeting every day. After morning announcements of course. She was feeling even more like a figurehead than she'd assumed she would last year.
Announcements were given from the front office, so she went in there to begin her duties.
"Hey, Jubal! So, you ready to begin the adventure of our senior year?"
"Yep, but apparently some new student thinks I should be starting my freshman year."
"Well, you have to admit, beautiful, that he has a point. You're younger than my sister, who is a freshman this year."
"Ok, Lance, I admit. I'm the same age that Amanda was when she started as a freshman."
At the mention of Amanda's name, Lance winced.
"Why did she dump you again?"
Lance winced even harder. "You know we don't have to go into that."
"Just checking. So, we ready for the morning announcements, or what?"
"Yes, I have them here." Lance had gotten himself elected as the student body secretary. Which was a fancy way of saying step and fetchit. He got the onerous task of preparing the morning announcements.
"Well, let me see them."
He seemed a little reluctant to hand them over, and I could see why as I began to read them.
"I can't say this."
"What? You have at other times."
"But I was always joking."
"Well, be joking this time. Hank and Cathy both agree that it is funny."
Hank was the senior class president, and Cathy was the student body vice president. She'd been the only person to run against Jubal last year, having put in her name before Jubal was roped into candidacy by her friends.
Jubal thought sometimes that the other girl held a grudge against her. There were rumors that the voting for SBP had been unanimous in Jubal's favor.
The bell rang announcing that classes had begun, and Miss Landau handed Jubal the microphone.
"Before I begin, I did not write this. It is I, Queen Jubal the First with your start of year announcements. All charters for clubs must be presented to Mr Brellin or Mrs Kinks before end of school on Friday. As with every year, a new club charter must be written and presented.
"Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school. . .I am not reading this."
Jubal turned to Lance and handed him the microphone and paper. "I'm delegating the rest of my responsibility for announcements today to you, Lance. Please finish."
"Um. . ."
"Lance, your grade in this class is based upon participation in student government activities," Miss Landau said with a little smile.
"Um, alright. Give me the paper."
"Begin with Open tryouts, lance."
"Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school, where the hot team captain, George Eades will be leading the team through its paces. Other announcements will be made regarding changes as the week progresses. It is I, your queen and benevolent ruler, Jubal signing off.
"There, happy?"
"Lance, please don't do this again. That was embarrassing for both of us, don't you think?"
Lance nodded, blushing furiously.
"I have to agree with Miss Franks, Lance. You have a responsibility to provide the announcements in a clear and concise manner. That is all. Sure, a little spice is okay, but don't put things in there that would embarrass our president." Miss Landau was a firm believer in leading through lesson.
They headed to their classroom to begin the council session and plan some school events for the year.
"Who's the ditz?"
"That's Jubal, new kid."
"Like short of Jubilee? Parents were big x-men fans or something? And my name's Kirk, not new kid, or fresh meat."
'Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school. . .' he heard a male voice say
One of the girls turned to him and looked at him as if he were insane. "Jubal is her name. Jubal Marie Franks."
"Her parents must have hated her to give her a girl's and a boy's name." He was used to getting laughs, and even started himself before he realized no one else was laughing.
"Listen, Kirk was it? You have a lot to learn about Griffin Academy. Comments like that could get you suspended?"
"What, because I am mentioning how silly her two names are?"
"Mr. Gessler, I assume by the fact that you're sitting in class, that you read and signed the student handbook, as of course you would have to in order to register for classes."
"I, um, skimmed it, Mr. Anderson."
"And while you, um, skimmed it did you happen to skim the section entitled 'Hazing'?"
"I guess, but isn't that the same policy that most schools have? Don't do it you bad wittow chiwdwen you?"
"Mr. Gessler. While the school you went to previous to this might have been lenient in this regard, we are not. In the past five years since implementing this policy we have suspended seven students and expelled one. This is not because we do not catch students, but because students police their own.
"You would be wise to remember that."
"But high school is about cliques and rivalry. The nerds are picked on by the jocks. The outcasts avoid everyone. The princesses rule from on high. The cheerleaders move between the princesses and jocks. Everyone survives and is happy as soon as over and they can go back to their own lives."
"Not in this school, Kirk. And Jubal may be the biggest nerd in our school. Considering she's taking more than half of her course load as concurrent enrolment online through the University." Katie'd had enough of this idiot.
"Wait, she is a super nerd. . .and giving the morning announcements? What is she the student body secretary or something? And how was she elected to that."
"Kirk, it would be a god idea to shut your mouth now," Katie said. "You've reached your knee and are still inhaling foot."
There were some giggles from a couple of the girls and a few of the boys chuckled.
"What? What did I say?"
"Jubal is the student body president."
"While Mr. Gessler does an impression of a goldfish, I'd like you all to turn to chapter one. Welcome to AP Biology. I'm sure that we'll have a pleasant year, those of you who have not been dissected."
"Mr. Anderson, We get to dissect cadavers in this class?" Katie asked.
"No, but hope springs eternal."
After her first couple of courses in her sophomore year, word got around about her.
She'd taken all of the science courses to her, and her English general education courses were completed as well. She was taking a creative writing course this semester, hoping it would provide some help with her book.
The first day of school, and already alone in the library.
She was only half paying attention to her professor, as she had already read the syllabus, as well as the first half of the textbook. Today was a general introduction to the course, with the slight possibility of some new material.
She found herself thinking about the student who had run into her at the door this morning. She knew that she looked a year or two younger than she was, which at ten took a significant portion off her actual age, but she didn't think she dressed like your average freshman.
She was poised and confident.
Why couldn't he see that in her?
Why did it matter at all if he did?
It was a chance encounter and. . .
"Ms. Franks? A little something about yourself for the class please?"
"Oh, I'm ten years old and a senior at Griffin Academy High School. I'm taking this class because I've taken all the other concurrent education courses at the University, and a publisher wants me to write my life story."
"That ought to be short," one of the other students said loud enough to be picked up by the mic.
"Ms. Franks is not exaggerating when she says she's taken all of the other courses, and with A's as well. She is the reason we are currently looking at the quantity of concurrent education courses. As she is currently in the class, I will be running a modified curve this year. The second highest student in the class will be getting a 99%. Ms. Franks will be getting whatever her grade is in relation to that, however far above 100% it goes."
"That's not fair!"
"Ms. Franks. Please tell the class what your grade did to the previous class you had a curve grading system in."
Jubal blushed but replied, "the second highest grade was a B-."
There were a couple of gasps and sounds of shock. "We grade on a curve in many of these courses so that it is based upon the abilities of the students in the class, and better judges how good the professor was at teaching the subject.
"Students like Jubal throw off the curve because they learn all the material regardless of how poor a teacher I am."
There were a couple of laughs at this.
"Now, it would be a good idea to listen to the questions Jubal asks, as well as to their answers. She is as much the teacher in this course as I."
Jubal wondered how much of this was true, and how much was to defuse potential problems she might have with these students in the future. I had embarrassed her all the same.
The bell rang, but she still had another five minutes left of class. As Lunch was next, that meant she had the time. She'd just have to hurry a bit to eat so she could be to her next class, P.E., on time.
When you take classes during summer school not because you need them, but because you're bored, you tend to get way ahead of the curve. She was taking P.E. to fill in a hole in her schedule, since she'd already fulfilled her P.E. requirement her freshman year.
And it would be fun to be with girls closer to her own age for at least a part of the day.
The class ended and she signed off and headed toward the lunchroom.
Again the green and blue blur ran over the top of her.
"Hey, watch where you're going!"
"I was watching, and you seemed a much more pleasant obstacle to collide with than the wall, frosh."
He continued running down the hall, seeming to head in the direction of the cafeteria.
I was starting to wonder where he would sit, when he spotted one of the people he'd been looking for.
"George! My man!"
"Hey, Kirk. So you decided to defect from Sampson after all?"
"Yeah, it helps that I got accepted to Griffin. Loved that letter of recommendation from your dad."
"Don't mention it."
"You're dad is a rich alumni, who has donated money to this school every year."
"No, I really meant, 'don't mention it.' Some of my best friends are here on scholarship and I really don't like to advertise who my father is."
"Gotcha." Kirk sat down in the seat to George's left. Katie, who Kirk had ignored 'til now, was on Kirk's left and made a noise, but George shook his head.
Kirk heard the sound. "Oh, you. Why'd you have to bust my chops so hard in AP Biology this morning."
"Well, Jubal happens to be a friend of mine, as well as George's"
"You're friends with a nerd, George?"
"Kirk, I've. . ."
"Let me handle this, Katie. Kirk, you're here to play football, right?"
"Hell yeah. It's the reason I came here."
"Well, keep in mind if you get suspended for hazing, or anything like unto it, you're off the team for the rest of the year."
"You've got to be kidding me."
Katie smirked at him, "Nope, it's the truth."
"Hi, I do believe that you're in my seat."
Kirk tuned and looked behind him and smirked, "Coming to join your betters, Frosh?"
The girl he'd run over a couple of times today in the white dress and brocade vest glared at him. He didn't find it very intimidating coming from the pixy face.
"Jubal, he's not worth it."
"Wait, this is Jubal? I thought you had to be a senior to be the Student. . .oh, crap."
"Yes, I'm a senior."
"Look, I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well, I'm sure you're aware of the hazing policy?"
Kirk turned white as a sheet, and George stepped up to his rescue. "Kirk didn't mean anything by it, Jubal. Let him be. It's his first day here."
"Well, I supposed I could over look it this once if he apologized by taking me on a date."
When everyone started looking at her in shock, she blushed. "I just said that aloud, didn't I?"
Jubal sat down on the other side of George and wouldn't even look in Kirk's direction. He wasn't all that cute, and he was so rude, and sure he was an okay runner, but there was nothing. . .well, he did have a nice firm behind. . .no. She would not think about how the muscles moved as he ran off. . .
"George, this is all your fault, I'll have you know." Jubal said, trying to hide some of her embarrassment in anger.
"Me, what did I do?"
"You broke up with Katie, that's what."
Kirk and George were still mystified, but Katie's shock and growing half smile let Jubal know that she knew.
This is not good.
"Jubal, I think you and I need to go to the ladies room."
Kirk began to make a comment about girls going in packs to the ladies room, but George shushed him.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Katie lit into Jubal, "You've got a crush on George."
"Why did you two have to break up? Before that I was content with him just being my friend. It wasn't until he was on the market that I started having all these difficult thoughts, and then I began to realize that I liked men. . .oh, why did you guys break up? It would have been so much easier to deal with this if you'd just kept on 'til graduation."
"Jubal, honey, you know why. George wanted me to go to Texas A&M with him, and I want to go to the Fashion Institute."
"But, I'm not old enough to deal with it."
"Based on your reaction to Kirk, I think you are perfectly old enough."
"But. . ."
"No buts, Jubal. I wish you luck with George. You to fit better than he and I ever did."
"Then why do I think this way about Kirk?"
"Probably because he has a nice butt."
"Katie!"
"Well, he does!"
"That's not the point."
"Well, I see you noticed as well."
Jubal nodded. "And when he's running? I think I'll have to avoid the football games if he joins the team because those tight pants. . ."
Katie stopped for a moment and turned bright red. "Oh, you're bad."
"Oh no I'm not. I'm perfectly innocent and pure."
"Well, you're pure, that's true, but you've never been innocent since I met you."
The two girls giggled as they walked back over to their table and their half eaten meals.
Instantly Kirk's mind flashed an image of Jubal.
She's so young. And she's so irritating as well. Just because she's a ten year old senior doesn't mean she has to act like she knows everything, and that morning announcement? 'Queen Jubal'?
"Wow, sighing already? You're infatuated on your first day? Who's this girl whose already captured my bro's heart."
"What? No! She's your age, sis."
"Where did you meet a fifth grader? And why would you want a ten year old. That's kind of gross."
"No, she's a senior and smart and, oh. . .crap. I need to avoid going back."
"Bro, come on, it can't be that bad. I mean she's smart if she's a senior."
"You can't tell ANYONE, Beth. No one. I would never live this down. I mean, for once I don't care how a girl looks."
"What?"
"She's smarter than I am, Beth! I mean, I thought I was good being ready to graduate as a sophomore. I haven't been able to have a real conversation with a girl in years, well except for you."
"That's because I'm not a girl, I'm your sister."
He chuckled at that, and she joined him after a few moments.
"So, maybe I'll challenge her to a game of chess for the right to date you, bro."
"Oh no you don't. Last girl you did that to went away in tears."
"She was the one that thought being the head of the chess club meant she could play."
"Well, you've got a point there."
"Hey, thinking of Stephanie, she wasn't that much of a looker."
"What are you talking about. She was pretty."
"She had braces, freckles, and coke bottle glasses."
"And impeccable fashion sense, beautiful hair, the cutest little button nose. . .blue eyes. . ."
"Stephanie's eyes were brown. Although the other ones kind of fit. Are you sure that you aren't really metrosexual or gay or something? I mean fashion sense?"
"Great, I think I've got a bit of a type, Beth."
"What are you talking about?"
"I like a confident girl who dresses well and takes care of her appearance."
"Well, now you know, just find one of those your own age."
Then, she began transcribing it. She had the first two chapters rewritten and sent off to Beverly Daius before the night was over. It had taken her almost a week per chapter the first time she'd tried to write this.
She sat down to relax, and immediately her mind wandered to Kirk.
"Must keep busy. I can't deal with this. Ok, let's do chapter three then."
She'd done her homework at school for the same reason that she was working so furiously on her book. She wanted, needed , to distract herself.
She stopped for a moment, thinking about what she was doing. Why did this boy capture her mind so. It wasn't because of his behind, although it was fun to watch.
He was, something. . .something about the way he carried himself. Something about. . .
She was pissed at him for running her over. She wasn't infatuated. She hated the jerk. He was good looking and knew it. He was arrogant and conceited. That's why he was occupying her thoughts.
Ok, she just had to focus on her anger over his poor behavior and actions and she'd be able to move past him.
Then she could get back to her life without him.
She ignored the tears in her eyes as she began working on the third chapter again.
She'd stayed up until four this morning, unable to banish thoughts of Kirk and George fighting over her from her mind. She wasn't even sure right now who she wanted to win that fight.
The book she had been using as a distraction would no longer be there to take her attention from things she didn't want to think about.
At a little over two hundred thousand words she was done. She'd done a quick pass over the last passages she'd written for overt spelling and grammar mistakes and then sent it off to Beverly.
She'd then lay down to try and get a couple of hours sleep before school. At least today was Friday and not much could happen to her before the weekend.
Kirk looked at his sister and just shook his head.
"Jane, you are too much a morning person to have come to this family naturally. You're either a mutant alien, or an elfin changeling or something."
"Oh come on. I'm not that different. You just take until seven before you're chipper. I'm happy to greet the sunrise."
"Chipper. Now you're sounding like Mom or Dad."
She giggled at this, "So, did you ask her over yet?"
"No."
"Why not? It will be fun! I want to test out her chess skills. See if she's worthy of you, bro."
"Leave off, okay, Jane! She's way too young for me. It's. . .weird."
"Personally, sounds to me like the entire school you go to is weird, but whatevs."
"Where in the world do you get your word choices, sis?"
"Movies, the internet, and the dictionary."
"Sorry I asked."
"Look, either you ask her, or I will. She's not someone to be afraid of, I mean come on. I'm only ten and you're not afraid of me!"
"Jane, you absolutely terrify me."
"Oh, haw haw haw."
Kirk chuckled as he moved toward the garage. "Give me a ride to school? Pretty please?"
"You're feminine charms won't work on me, harlot. I am immune." He said in a bad Charleton Heston accent.
"Yeah, but my little sister power of blackmail works just fine."
"Ok, brat. Come on."
She got into the office without incident, and then noticed a girl sitting looking around her.
Jubal walked up to her, and was scrutinized for a moment by the girl before she looked away.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I guess. So, my brother told me that this girl does announcements? Jubal? And she's supposed to be my age and I wanted to ask her something."
"I'm Jubal."
"No way you're my age. You look so much older than 10. Like, 13 or even 14. But not 10."
Jubal blushed as she smiled, "Well, I like you already, cause even if that's flattery, it's nice to hear."
"Seriously. And you don't talk like my friends either."
"Would you believe that I started coming to high school when I was 7? It sort of kept me away from my own age group."
"I wish I was in high school already."
"Do you go to Griffin?"
"Oh, no. My parents can barely afford for Kirk to go here."
There was a momentary flutter of her heart as Jubal heard the mention of Kirk's name. This was his sister? Jubal hadn't even known he had a sister.
"You perked up when I said my brother's name, didn't you?"
"Stop it, I did not. I don't even like your brother."
"Lips may lie, but cheeks do not!"
"Kids, we have some responsibilities to attend to here?"
Jubal glared at Cathy, even though she knew that the other girl was right.
"Sorry, I have to give the announcements, but after that, I can talk to you for a moment before I go to class."
"Good Morning Griffin High. A final reminder that all club charters need to be in today before the end of school. We have been asked by the principal this year to refrain from painting, marking, or otherwise defacing our lockers, inside or out, as they are the property of the school and it does cost them thousands of dollars every year to fix them in preparation for the new year.
"He suggested that I tell you to treat them like your iPod or iPhone, but I've seen some of your iPods and figure that would be a worse idea than saying nothing.
"Cheerleading try outs for everyone interested will take place on Monday after school. The basketball team would like to get a head start on practicing as they are feeling outdone by the reigning champions of the football team. As such they will be holding tryouts in the same place, at the same time as the cheerleading team.
"Mostly, I've been told, it's so they can get into the closed tryout and ogle the girls without actually trying out for the team.
"And last, I have a very special call out to one of our students from a very special someone."
I handed the mic to Kirk's sister. "Hey, Kirk. I'm ditching school." The other student councilors laughed at this.
I took back the mic back. "That concludes the announcements for the day."
"So, how long do you figure before he gets here," Hank asked.
Jubal made a disgusted face. "Have you seen hoe hr runs through the halls? I figure the moment we try to leave the office he'll run right over the top of me."
Jane looked shocked, "What?"
"He did it twice on Monday. Apparently I'm too small to see."
"Well, let's get to class." Miss Landau said as she headed toward the door. She should have listened to Jubal's warning.
"I'm so sorry," Kirk said helping Miss Landau up from the floor.
"Kirk, I assume? You may consider slowing down in the halls."
"I'm sorry. I just needed to take care of my wayward sister it seems. Jane, what are you doing here?"
"Inviting Jubal over to our house tomorrow. She still owes me that chess game."
"Well, I wasn't aware I owed you a chess game, but it would be fun, I think. Just so you're aware, I've never played chess. You'll have to teach me."
Jane looked shocked. "But, everyone knows how to play chess."
"Not me, unfortunately. I really would like to learn though." Jubal snuck a glance in Kirk's direction, which Jane caught.
She narrowed her eyes a bit, but let it pass. After she destroyed Jubal's confidence by winning at chess, her brother would be safe. It was that simple for her. "Ok, just get our address from Kirk, since he seams angry with me for some reason."
Kirk practically dragged Jane out to his car. "I didn't need you to do that for me, brat."
"Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't know that the only reason she's coming is because you'll be there."
Kirk was speechless.
"Maybe I should let her win a couple of games before stomping her. I like a speechless older brother."
Kirk glared at her but continued to say nothing. He'd get his revenge by telling their parents about this little escapade later this evening.
This was supposed to be HER year. Cathy Brandis as SBP. And she would get George to love her, because he was only what Cathy deserved. She was supposed to be queen bee here. She was supposed to be the center of attention. She had the right parents, the right clothes, and the right doctors.
She was beautiful and pleasant to be around.
So why was that nerd in her place. They even acknowledged the little thing as Queen of the school.
She needed some way to get back at Jubal, but everything that came to mind would get her suspended from school and removed from the student council. No, she needed something that couldn't be tracked back to her, and would, even better, remove Jubal as a problem permanently.
Cathy didn't need to kill her. No that would be too good for the little bitch. She just needed her to acknowledge her place in this world. . .at the bottom.
She took a couple of calming breaths, not to remove her intense hatred of little mis(ter) perfect. To bank the embers of it and let her seem to be the sweet person who would win the school's approval in the power vacuum that would be left when their Queen was no more.
Now, how to remove Jubal as a rival.
Jubal got a salad each day, but it wasn't about being healthy. Iceberg lettuce as a base, cottage cheese above that, ham chunks, sweet peas, and then mandarin oranges in light syrup. Occasionally the mandarin oranges were either absent or out and she would go with pears instead. Rarely peaches.
She was afraid of how many calories it was adding to her diet, but that's why she ran home from school. These days she didn't go running unless there were a shower for her at the end of it. Damn puberty.
She almost giggled at that. The fear the endocrinologist had regarding her ovotestis was that she would need HRT for the rest of her life. Apparently that wouldn't be the case, since she'd started puberty before summer started.
Her fear of not having a normal puberty had been replaced with disgust at having a normal puberty.
Oh well. She would survive. Especially if Kirk would just show up.
And that was what had her so nervous. She knew he had the same lunch as she did this semester, but he was nowhere to be found.
He came through the door with George and her heart beat faster. She wasn't ready for this. Too young and inexperienced, even if she was a senior. It felt ironic to her that she was having her first schoolgirl crush in her senior year.
She didn't let that stop her from adjusting her hair, and checking her makeup surreptitiously in a hand mirror.
She smiled at them as they came toward her bearing their selections from the food offered.
"So, Kirk. Apparently you're supposed to be giving me your address for tomorrow."
"What's this?" George asked.
Kirk opened his mouth to respond, but Jubal jumped in before he could get a word in, "Kirk's sister, Jane, invited me to their house to learn how to play chess."
"Wait, didn't you learn how to play last summer? I seem to recall my Dad spending a couple of weeks giving you the basics before you were trouncing him."
"Yeah, I started looking up master level games online, and memorizing the movement patterns."
"But, you told my sister you didn't know how to play."
"All part of the game, Kirk."
"Telling my sister you don't know how to play chess is part of the game?"
"Not THAT game," Katie said coming up behind them.
""Huh?" Kirk said.
Katie looked over at Jubal, who nodded for her to go ahead, "the girl game. The one that boys never get. Jane is trying to keep unworthy females from dating her idolized big brother. So, she embarrasses them at chess. Primitive, but effective in certain situations. If they feel uncomfortable in your house, Kirk, then that puts a strain on the relationship.
"See, Jane never overtly lets them know she disapproves. She just invites them to play every time they come over. She just acts like an exuberant youngster. Only a skilled operator will be able to notice her actions for what they are. Well, that or a savant like our Jubal here."
Jubal blushed prettily and it was Kirk's turn to have palpitations. He had to figure out some way to dissuade her coming over.
"You know, I'd understand if you didn't want to come over."
"No, I'm fine with it. I hardly ever associate with kids my age, and I've been looking for a challenging match. People have started declining games with me at chess.com. I've even been accused of being a chess master incognito."
"You two deserve each other." Kirk said under his breath, but not quietly enough.
"I'll have you know I'm not into girls." Jubal was blushing as soon as she'd said it. Why didn't she just leave well enough alone?
When Kirk's mouth dropped open, Katie grabbed Jubal by the arm and steered her toward the bathroom.
"What was that, Jubal?"
"It just slipped out. I don't know what I was thinking! He must think I'm a total freak."
"Or he might get the right idea and realize that you're totally into him."
"Oh crap. Not good."
"Why? Because you had this fairytale romance between yourself and George?"
Jubal looked at her with a bit of fear. She still wasn't sure where Katie stood on that issue.
"Yes, I am relieved to know that my friends will not start dating each other. I was okay with it, or so I thought, but it is a weight off knowing that Kirk is just as much into you."
"What!?" Jubal's face lit up.
"You are so young sometimes. Yes, Kirk likes you, Jubal. Anyone but the two of you can see you've both got it bad."
Jubal squealed and hugged Katie.
Katie giggled and hugged her back.
"So, what are you going to wear to your date tomorrow?"
All the color drained from her face as the import of Katie's words struck home.
"Well, not really a date, but you want to look your best when his parents see you for the first time."
"Katie, that's even worse!."
"All the more reason that we should start tonight to get it taken care of."
"Ok, come over to my place after school and we'll get started."
"Hello, Jubal. Afternoon, Katie."
"We're giving Jubal a makeover. She's going to a boys house tomorrow."
Mama Joey laughed at this, "well, have a good time girls."
They went upstairs to Jubal's room.
"Katie, could you give me a moment? I want to check my email."
"Not thinking Kirk might have send something to you, are you?" Katie said with a smile.
"What? Oh, no, I sent my book off to my publisher. Wanted to see if she sent anything back to me."
"Well, hurry it up. We have so much work to do, and we might even need to go shopping before tomorrow."
Jubal giggled at this, "I almost wish the dresses from last year still fit. I have a feeling they might be a little tight in a couple of areas."
Katie got a thoughtful look on her face and went in search of Mama Joey while Jubal worked on her email.
"Do you have a tape measure?"
"Somewhere. Not thinking of making her a dress are you?"
"Not enough time for that. No, I'm thinking of altering one of the ones I made already. As long as her measurements haven't changed too much, that is."
They did a quick search of the kitchen drawers and turned up the tape measure.
"Thanks, Ma'am."
"I've told you in the past. Just call me Mama Joey."
"Ok, Mama Joey."
Katie went back up to the room to an excited Jubal.
"She got it, Katie. She's already read the first three chapters and thinks that it is worthy of the faith she had in me. She says if the rest of it is as good as the first three chapters she's going to publish my book."
"That's so great, Jubal." Her words might have been right, but something in her body language was off.
"Katie?"
"Sorry. I just find it hard to deal with you sometimes."
"What? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing. That's the problem. Published author. Super smart. Half the student body in love with you. Student Body President. I mean, you are so perfect it hurts sometimes."
"Katie, you know I'm not perfect. I make all sorts of mistakes."
Katie began giggling at that, "you even make mistakes perfectly. You make them once for the life experience and then never make them again."
"Oh, you. Why did you get the tape measure?"
"Because I can think of the perfect dress for you to wear tomorrow. Remember that black, red and white number you wore third for the fashion show?"
"It made me look like a college student."
"Exactly. You looked as mature as the rest of us know you are inside."
"But. . ."
"No buts. I can make some adjustments, let it out a bit in the bust and hips," she looked at Jubal appraisingly, "Maybe even take it in through the waist."
"What?"
"How tall are you now? You seem to have slimmed down just a little."
"Don't know. You're the one with the tape measure."
"Well, then let me use it. You're going to have to strip, girl."
Jubal stripped down to her training bra and panties.
"You know even if I'd never seen george in his underwear I doubt I would mistake you for a boy."
"What? Why?"
"Not enough of a package."
"Well, it does what it's supposed to, and in a little over a year I'll have it corrected."
Katie quickly measured all the relevant areas, and jotted them down on a piece of scrap paper.
"Well, if I remember your measurements correctly, then I will have to let you out in the hips just a bit. Maybe an inch. Your waist is a bit slimmer as well. Unfortunately the bust hasn't changed much at all."
"Oh, pooh. I thought they were a little puffier than before."
"Well, they might be, but it takes time for them to develop, girl."
"I know that. I have taken courses in human sexuality and development. It's just I want to be older so badly right now."
Katie and Jubal giggled at this.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. In such a rush to be women, and then we want everything to slow down again. Hey, at least you'll already be in the real world long before you're even twenty."
"Yeah, so I'll have ten years before I turn the dreaded 3-0."
"Unlike me, who will be mere moments away from that dreaded point in the same period of time."
"Yeah, but it would still be nice to be a bit older so I had something more than promises to offer. . .people."
"If they're worth it, then the promise will be enough."
"And if the promise is not enough?"
"Then there's always George who is a complete gentleman."
Jubal's computer dinged.
She went over to take a look at it. There was another email from Beverly.
'Jubal,
Apparently the medical profession currently calls intersex a disorder of sexual development or DSD. I don't think it should cause a problem with most people reading your story, since you describe what it is for those who have never heard of it, but, and this is a big but, we may want this to be something that medical professionals are fine with suggesting for parents of children with DSD. Just a thought I had.
If you want to do that, then we may want to consider changing references to intersex to be DSD instead.
Regards,
Beverly.
"Huh. Well, leave it to medical professionals to change a perfectly good label for something for no real reason than making an acronym."
"What?"
"Oh, apparently I'm no longer intersexed."
"Oh really?"
"I am suffering from DSD. Disorder of sexual development."
Katie snorted at the other girl, "So, does that make you any less or more like the rest of us?"
"Nah, just a new name for it."
"Good to know."
"So, what is the plan for your makeup and hair?"
"Is there much I can do with shoulder length hair?"
"Oh so much. Not that I am a hairstylist, and not that we want to go completely bonkers. Save that for prom. No. Hmm. Let's leave it loose. A slight curl maybe?"
"Sure. We can do that."
"And you're normal subdued makeup is probably perfect."
"Well, I had a great teacher for that?"
"Thanks, Jubal. You are really nice to say that."
"What? I was talking about George."
The two of them giggled over this.
Katie looked appraisingly at Jubal's legs, "no hair to speak of yet, so there is that. No shaving for you tonight."
"I have a hair or two in my pits. . .sometimes. I pluck those instead of shave for right now."
"Probably for the best. Easier on the skin."
"You know, Katie. Sometimes I really feel trapped in my own body. It's weird I know. I just feel like I'm so much bigger than my 10-year-old looking body gives me credit for."
"Honey, we all feel that way sometimes."
"Well, I'll stop by tomorrow with your dress before you head out. You still got the shoes?"
"Yes, and they still fit. My feet haven't noticeably grown yet."
"Okay, sweetness. You get some sleep, Okay. We want you well rested for your date."
"Get on with you, slave, and prepare my royal vestment."
"Yes, my liege. Your will is my own, my liege."
They giggled as Katie left.
Jubal sat to compose an email back to beverly.
Beverly,
That sounds like a good idea. I'll do a quick search and replace on my copy of the text and determine where DSD is more appropriate than intersex. . .
Jubal sat there thinking for a moment before changing her mind. She didn't need to make this change. She needed a foreword.
She sat down at her keyboard for a moment, fluttering her fingers above the keys, and then began to search for DSD using scholar.google.com
After reading through a number of entries on DSD, especially the rarer variant of Ot-DSD that she had, she began to write.
In recent years the definitions for what makes a person have been under attack by the scientific community. They quantify, codify, and catalog. People are not the sum of their DNA and also are not the sum of their experience.
We are a mixture of our DNA, Nature, and the life experiences that we survive, Nurture.
There is no one answer to what makes a person, and should we be lucky, there never will be.
The medical community have decided that intersex is simply one of a number of disorders of sexual development.
Dictionary.com, care of Random House, defines disorder as a disturbance in physical or mental health or functions; malady or dysfunction.
I am not a dysfunction.
My life is not a disturbance.
Luckily I was given the choice to join in what the rest of society deems normal, but it was my choice. Should I choose to stay as I am, there should not be a problem with that either.
There are no long term side effects of the specific type of DSD I have, OT-DSD, although a slight increase of the risk of cancer is indicated.
This is my story. It is a tale of the path I've taken to be the person I now am.
My name is Jubal Marie Franks and I am eleven years old.
She sent this off with a note to Beverly, and lay down to get some sleep.
The worst of them was when, for any number of reasons that she could come up with, Kirk ended up seeing her panties. Either because her dress slipped up, or because she fell over or. . .
She kept inventing new reasons why it might happen as well.
He was the only person she knew at school who didn't know her issue.
Oh, crap. The book. Everyone in the world would know her condition. Intersex, DSD, it didn't matter what you called it. She knew her life at school was different than she'd likely encounter in the rest of the world. And the world would all know how different she was. Sure that would be changing in just under fourteen months, but they would know what she'd been before.
A feeling of dread overcame her, and she was suddenly feeling ill.
She rushed to the bathroom and vomited everything she had in her stomach, and then tried to follow that up with her small intestines.
"Jubal, honey, are you okay?'
Jubal nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but quickly leaned over the toilet again to continue her communion.
"What's wrong?"
"I just realized that a lot of people are going to be reading my book."
Mama Joey began to laugh, "Oh, honey. I'm sorry. It is so hard to forget how old you are sometimes. You act so mature, and then something like this. You've never been shy before. . ."
"I know, but the idea of all those strangers knowing so much about me. It was more than I could handle. That and the idea of Kirk finding out that way."
"Jubal, honey. You are a girl. You've always been a girl. Sure, you have some traits that are more boy like, but all of us are a mixture."
"I know that. Years with Dr. Rath has left me with that knowledge."
"Yes, but that's not the point I'm making, dear heart. Anyone who knows you will know how much you really are a girl. You've just had a slight birth defect for the past eleven years."
"I'm not eleven yet, Mama Joey."
"In two months you will be. That's good enough for me."
Jubal washed her mouth out a couple of times in the sink to remove the taste of bile.
Mama Joey wrapped her up in a huge hug when she was done. "Everything will be okay, Jubal. You'll see. People enjoy being around you."
"You only say that because you're my Mama."
"I thought that the first time I met you, when you're grandparents died."
A thought occurred to Jubal, and she began to tear up a bit.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Am I a bad person because I don't miss my grandparents anymore?"
"Of course not. Everything in this life comes to an end, even grief. We mourn the loss of people we love. sometimes, we will remember them at odd moments. Happy sometimes, and sad others. But it won't be with the immediacy of that first mourning."
"But I loved them so much."
"And I'm willing to bet that you still love them."
Jubal nodded silently.
"Then they will never truly be dead to you. When we keep the memories of people we've loved alive, they live through us. Our actions reflect upon then for good or evil."
"Would they be happy with my choice?"
"Did they ever directly tell you to be one or the other?"
"No."
"Then they would be happy with your decision."
Jubal smiled.
"Well, since we're both now awake, how bout I brew us some chamomile and we have a little chat until we're both ready to sleep again."
"I'd like that Mama Joey.
Jubal sat as Mama Joey prepared the tea. She wasn't ready to begin talking so Mama Joey kept up her side of the conversation without assistance. She talked about 'her' kids as she called them.
She told Jubal about the difficulties that they faced, and her worries all using generalities of course. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Mama Joey began to rope her into the conversation. She'd ask Jubal's opinion on what she was doing to help, and even got Jubal to volunteer a couple of hours during the next week to help out at a group home. Mama Joey expected some new youth volunteers and wanted Jubal to show them the ropes.
"So, you want to talk about it, honey?"
"I'm afraid of Kirk finding out that I'm me."
"Why does that matter do much to you? You know you're female."
"I know, and if he doesn't really respect me enough to realize that, he's not worth it. That won't change how much a rejection like that will hurt."
"I know, honey. He hasn't rejected you yet, though."
"But, if I tell him now when he has nothing invested, it would be easy to just reject me out of hand without even trying to get to know me. He'll decide it was because I was lying to everyone when you know that's not the case. If I wait until we've spent time together, and things are going smoothly, then I will have been lying to him from the beginning and he'll have a reason to reject me even if he has something invested."
"So, you've already decided for him?"
"Statistics say I'm right. Unless a guy is actually looking for a transsexual he is less likely to accept being with a transsexual in a relationship."
"Look, there are guys who know what you are that are after you."
"Lance? I think the only reason he stays interested is he saw me naked."
"What? You never told me that!"
"Oh, um, when I was a freshman. Locker room. um, yeah. Can we not talk about this?"
"Ok, but I'll get this story out of you eventually."
Jubal sighed. "And then, I'm opening myself up for a world of freaks and crazies with my book. They'll all read it and get the wrong ideas about me. They'll want me to support their pet sexuality causes, or they'll think I'm their perfect mate, or they'll. . ." Jubal shuddered.
"I don't think I can handle that, but I think, like Beverly, that this story is important enough that people need to be told. They need to know me, not some pen name."
"But Jubal honey, this puts you at risk. You could get yourself killed. I know I never said anything about this before, but at the rate you were writing I thought we had time to stop the project."
"Blame Kirk. I was writing to try to not think about him."
"Then why are you going to his house?"
"I don't know! I don't get why I can't focus. I've never had this problem before. I just change my mind and I can get back on track. I change what I think about and I don't have thoughts of his hands, or his eyes, or the way his behind. . ." Jubal blushed.
"Honey, you're just infatuated."
"I want to stop being infatuated. It is so frustrating. I want so much out of a relationship, why are my hormones so in charge of it all. Mama, I want a guy I can talk to, who will hold me when I cry and tell me everything is going to be alright. I want him to hold my hair when I vomit. He will be able to take me dancing at the drop of the hat. He needs to love me more than his family, but still want to experience all of their sadness and joy.
"I want a man who is more concerned of my needs than getting to his class by the shortest route possible even if it means running me over."
"He didn't."
"Twice!"
Mama Joey began laughing.
"It's not funny!"
"Yes, dear heart, it is."
"Oh, pooh. Yes, it is."
"Honey, you know that there will never be a man that fits this entire list?"
"Can the one I fall in love with at least meet that last criteria?"
"Oh, Jubal. Love isn't that simple. It is part emotion and part choice. It is an emotion that only sweeps us away when we let it. It is powerful and moving and demands that we do something about it.
"The thing you have to remember is that as long as you go in with both eyes open, then you'll never be surprised. No one is ever exactly who they think they are. Never believe what a person tells you. Believe what they do around you.
"Watch how he treats his mother and sisters. Watch how his father treats his mother and sisters. You'll get a good idea of how he'll treat you from those two things."
"Okay, Mama, but aren't you trying to give me an entire life worth of homilies in one breath?"
Mama Joey sort of chuckled at this, "yes, I suppose I am."
"I'll be okay, I think. I'm so worried about it, though. I really want him to like me."
""Honey, I know. It's tough to live as a physical child in a world of teenagers, isn't it?"
Jubal nodded. She yawned and realized that the talking had helped.
"Well, off to bed with you, sleepy head. See if you can't get some rest."
Jubal nodded and then went up to her room. She lay down and was a sleep almost immediately.
She ended up in a dark blue peasant top and a pair of black stretch jeans. She used an Alice band in her hair and pronounced herself as good at she was going to get.
She looked at her chest and sighed. Still just he puffy nubs they'd been for a while now.
It wasn't really fair, but fairness had nothing to do with it. Oh well, she'd grow into her body. Or would it be that her body would grow into her mind. She'd survive.
It was so long before she could actually go over to Kirk's house, so she went and got breakfast, making sure she got nothing on herself.
He didn't remember any plans he had for the day. He'd kept it clear of his normal schedule clutter so he could be here. His sister would be playing Jubal. . .
A smile came to his face. That was the feeling. Jubal was coming over to his house.
Kirk got up and walked downstairs. Saturday was a weights day for him, so he went into the garage and started on the machines while he waited for his dad to get up. Even he wasn't crazy enough to try free weights without a spotter. He had to wait almost fifteen minutes this morning.
His parents still had a loving relationship, and while he didn't like to think of the mechanics of it all, he knew that the two of them must have had a late night last night.
"So, Kirk, where are we starting at this morning?"
"I figured that three hundred would be a good place. I almost got a single rep of that last weekend, and I've been getting a good workout during my weight training class."
"Don't be surprised if you still can't get it, Kirk."
"Hey, a guy needs goals."
While he'd been talking, Kirk set the bar on the uprights and began putting on weight. Three hundred pounds used up all of the weights that they had. If he went above that, he'd have to either get more weights, or think of something else completely.
His dad took his place at the head of the bench and Kirk went to it.
Up off the rack. Down was the easy part; just prevent the descent enough to keep it from crushing him. Then up. The strain in muscles. The burning feeling. His smile was more of a rictus grin as he put everything he had into getting that bar up to a full extension. There it was. He could still feel the strength in his arms but he wasn't going to push it. He racked the bar and looked up at his dad.
"Okay. Let's do a more reasonable one-fifty."
They went on like that for another twenty minutes with steadily decreasing weight. Pump until he could barely get the bar up, then reduce it a little. Pump until he could barely get the bar up then reduce it a little.
Saturday was his complete muscle failure day. Well, that's what he called hit. When he could barely lift the bar, which was only fifteen pounds, he knew he was done.
Then it was time for breakfast.
Breakfast was always a huge affair for him. He'd start by cooking himself a few fried eggs, and some bacon, some pancakes, juice, milk, oatmeal, and maybe a slice of toast or two with jam but no butter.
Then, if he was still hungry, he'd whip up a protein shake or two. Those were nasty, but they provided him with what he was using up.
He finished homework as soon as it was assigned in class, and when he couldn't finish it in class then he finished it as soon as he got home.
"Kirk, I want to hone my skills a bit before Jubal get's here. Play me a game?"
"Fine, squirt. I'll play you a game."
Like usual for them, Kirk grabbed a couple of pawns, mixed them up under the table so he didn't know which hand was which and then put his closed hands over the table.
His sister was the one who knew all the names of the chess moves and what a Kasparski offense was, but Kirk wasn't that bad for an amateur.
They began with knights after he moved his queen's pawn out to the center of the board. He could tell in three moves that his sister was a bit off her game, as she let a number of openings pass.
She lost a rook to a forked king.
"What's up?"
"I don't know if I can do this, bro."
"Why?"
"She's nice. And she's my age."
"Smarter than you, though."
"Well, maybe, but I don't want to chase her away. Maybe I should just let her win."
"You never chased Susan away. We dated a lot last year. She just didn't want to come back here. She was embarrassed losing to someone so much younger than her."
"What?"
"Yeah, sorry I never told you."
"Well, if she doesn't end up liking chess, then I guess she can be forgiven. Hey!"
"Checkmate."
"That's no fair, you cheated."
"It's perfectly fair to distract your opponent in a time of crisis."
"I demand a rematch!"
The doorbell rang. It was a little after nine at this point, and so he figured he knew who it had to be. Who he hoped it would be.
"Hey," she said as calm as could be.
"Come on in, Jubal. My sister is waiting for you."
Jubal smiled and then followed Kirk into the living room where Jane was indeed waiting for them.
Jubal put her game face on and sat down across from Jane.
Jane went through the basics quite well, but seemed to neglect a couple of things like pawn en passant and castling. Jubal really didn't feel bad about what she was about to do.
They played a few games, with Jubal losing both. And of course the additional rules came out on Jane's side of the board.
Jane was leaving her a huge opening. She was playing aggressively. And using her pawns a lot.
Jubal went for a nice fool's mate in the next game. Two moves and check mate.
"Well, that was a lucky break for you." Jane said after the game.
"Want to play again?"
Jane started using her knights heavily, but Jubal was ready for her. Early queen swap to throw her off balance, and a knight-bishop trap. That really flustered Jane.
"Wasn't that right?" Jubal asked.
"No, that was perfectly fine."
"Okay. Can we play again? This is fun."
This game was a lot longer. Jubal began with a pronged pawn attack. Queen's pawn up one, and king's pawn and queen's bishop's pawn up two.
Jane avoided a queen swap in the fifth turn and Jubal knew the game was hers. Jane was on the defensive and doing her best not to lose a war of attrition. It was turn twenty before Jubal put Jane out of her misery with a signature of hers when she was showing of: A king protects queen checkmate.
Basically, your king is just out of range of their king, next to your queen. It is an illogical move, but it works. The king can't move into mate even if it's from another king.
"Crap, I've been had."
"What?"
"You used that move against me on Chess.com a couple of weeks ago. You're tooyoung aren't you."
Jubal blushed.
"I knew it. Wow, you're really good. Play me again?"
"You're not mad?"
"Course not. I love a challenge."
"Can I make a suggestion?"
"Yep."
"A queen for a queen trade is always worth it."
"Huh? But without my queen. . ."
"Unless you only have a single piece and your king left, you can pretty much get checkmate with any combination of pieces."
"How do you get a mate with two bishops and a king?"
"King blocks movement and a corner."
"How do you get them into the corner without a forced draw?"
"Carefully. No, it's not easy, and the last time I had to do it, I took twenty-six moves to get him into the corner."
"Why didn't he just give you the game?"
"Some people feel a draw is better than a loss."
"Let's play again!" Jane was happy.
"You're not mad about the fool's mate?"
"Nah, I totally tried to screw you over initially and I deserved it."
"You're one weird kid, Jane."
"Speak for yourself, Jubal. We're the same age."
They began giggling and played another couple of games. Jubal still creamed Jane, but she didn't make any more really stupid mistakes.
"Sounds like you two are having fun."
"We are daddy. Jubal totally sharked me."
"So, you're Jubal, huh."
"Yes, I am."
"Aren't you the cutest little thing."
"Sir, I doubt your daughter puts up with you talking to her that way, and I'm her age, at least physically. I'm also a senior in high school, as you might have heard."
He stopped and blinked, and stood up to his full height. "I see. I thought that you were. . .well, I see that I was wrong. I apologize."
"Don't worry, I get underestimated all the time."
"Yeah, daddy. She just skunked me completely at chess."
"Oh, really? Care for a match?"
"Mr. Able, are you sure?"
"Who do you think originally taught my children how to play?"
Jubal smiled sweetly, "Their mom?"
"Oh, that's it. No holds barred, full contact Chess for you, missy."
Jubal let him have white, as she wanted that one move advantage to see where he went with his pieces. She realized in a few moments that she'd played him before. More than once actually. He was one of the few who would still accept a match with her on chess.com.
Each chess player has a method that they usually play under. They have their favorite moves, and their favorite maneuvers.
The problem was that if you just used the same gambits over and over again, you became predictable.
"I believe that's mate, Mr. Able."
"tooyoung?"
Jubal giggled at this.
"Now, if my family is done vetting her, can I spend some time with Jubal?" Kirk said as he came in the room.
Jubal made sure her hair band was still in its proper place and he came and sat down on the couch near her.
"Hi," he said uncomfortably.
"Hi, yourself."
"I like your top."
"Are we really going to do this? The whole awkward teenager thing? If so, I probably have a lot to do, like checking with my publisher to see if she likes the latest changes I made."
"You're an author?"
"Well, technically, no. I wrote a book, at the publisher's request, and she thinks it will be published, but we'll see."
"Well, so I know a soon to be published author. Anything I'd like to read?"
Jubal blushed.
"You didn't write erotica or anything did you, cause that would just be too weird."
"Oh no, nothing like that. It's just. Look, Kirk, before we go on, I need to talk to you about something."
"That sounds serious."
Jubal began to cry a bit and just nodded.
"Hey, don't cry." He tried to put an arm around her but she scooted to the other end of the bench.
"Kirk, I'm," she took a deep breath.
"I was born intersexed."
"Okay. . .which means what?"
"It's a somewhat generic term meaning that a child exhibits features of both sexes."
"You're not really a boy or something are you."
Jubal felt the tears in her eyes welling up again, "sort of. And sort of not."
"I really don't understand."
"Physically, I look like both, you know, down there."
Kirk sat up and scooted to the other end of the couch.
"That's. . ."
"Freaky? Weird? Gross?"
"Different, but yeah, it's all those too."
"I'll leave."
"Wait, don't leave. I need a moment to process."
Jubal sat there quietly and cried a bit. She knew she shouldn't have said anything, but she also didn't want to lie to Kirk.
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"I already told you. . ."
"No, you said physically you were both."
"Does it really matter? You're just going to reject me. . ."
"Jubal, for a smart person, you're acting really stupidly right now."
Jubal stopped and blinked at him, "Wha. . ?"
"Answer my question please, because it matters to me."
"I feel like a girl. I'm not sure I am one in the traditional sense, but I sort of more associate with that mindset."
Kirk got a little concerned look on his face.
"Wouldn't they normally fix this sort of thing at birth?"
"Some doctors would. But which one is right?"
"Well, they could do a genetic test, and then assign based on that."
"What happens if the child doesn't agree with the choice?"
"Doesn't matter, boys are boys and girls are girls."
Jubal gave Kirk a sad smile. "I'm sorry you believe that, Kirk. I'll be going now."
"So, you are a boy."
"No, Kirk. I'm a girl, from my brain to my body I'm a girl. I'm growing breasts and will likely have a period. I AM A GIRL! I'm leaving because your bigoted attitude toward transgendered individuals makes me uncomfortable."
"Why? If you're a girl why does it matter?"
"Because I spent a number of years presenting as a boy, Kirk. I'm even that way in a couple of my year books. It's part of my past, Kirk, but it is a part of me. If you can't handle that, that I can't be here."
Jubal rushed out of the house in tears. Why did she mention her publisher. Why did she write that stupid book. Her life would be over as soon as it came out, and people would read it. She would never be accepted as a normal girl, and all she wanted at that moment was to be a normal girl and cuddled with Kirk.
Jane came rushing into the room after Jubal left the house, "what did you do? She was perfect! She was smart, and not intimidated by dad, and she liked you."
"All my girlfriends have liked me."
"No, they usually wanted to be with the great big football star. It was never about you. You've never once had a girlfriend whose eyes lit up just because you entered a room, you big dork."
Kirk's mouth fell open.
"What are you waiting for, bro? Go after her."
"I can't," Kirk collapsed into himself, "I screwed up, Janie."
"It's not like you told her you never wanted to see her again."
"Almost that bad. She thinks I'm a bigot."
"What?"
"She's transgendered, whatever that means."
"Oh, really?"
"Don't act like you know any more than I do, squirt."
"Ok, you're right. Let's look it up."
"How could I be so stupid, Janie?"
"You didn't know."
"No, but she was trying to explain it to me and I wouldn't listen. It just goes contrary to what I think I know about the world."
"Then admit you're wrong."
"Easier said."
"Look, you know where she lives?"
"No. . .but George might."
"Can you invite him over?"
"I'm not setting you up with George, Jane."
"Aw."
Kirk dialed George on his cell.
"Kirk!? What in the hell did you do, man?"
"Um, so apparently you've heard. I really screwed up."
"You tore her heart out. I really feel like killing you right now."
"Is she there with you?"
"Yes, but she doesn't want to speak to you."
"Tell her I'm a fool. Tell her I'm sorry. Tel her I should have just listened and not said a word. Tell her I want another chance."
"No."
"Why not, George?"
"Because she's a friend of mine, Kirk. Look, you're sorry you made her cry, but are you really sorry for your words?"
"Um. . ."
"See, you don't know. You don't know your own hert right now, and you just want everything to be nice between the two of you.
"Jubal doesn't do nice, Kirk. She is all or nothing and has been that way for as long as I've known her. She was putting her entire self on the line with you. Opening herself up to hurt, and you hurt her."
"Thanks, Dr. Phil. Now let me talk to Jubal."
"Not going to happen, Kirk. I really hope you're aware of our hazing policy at school, since I would hate to see you off the team."
"George, wait."
"Don't, Kirk. . .are you sure?" This last was a little muffled, so someone was likely talking to George from the room.
"Hello, Kirk."
"Jubal, let me explain. . ."
"No. Not right now. You hurt me deeply, you know that? I know you didn't mean to, but you reacted emotionally. That was your instinct. You might change your attitude, Kirk, but you might not. I choose not to risk it right now."
"Jubal, give me a chance, please, one more chance? I was ignorant and stupid, and I'm a jerk, and I lo. . .ike you. A lot."
"Why do you deserve a chance?"
"Because I spent the last two hours realizing how stupid I was. I looked up information on the transgendered. I didn't know. Really."
"Then you should have listened."
"I know that."
"If you didn't listen on something this important, then how can I be sure that you'll listen on something that's not important at all."
"Truth? You don't. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Just don't leave me. Please?"
"I'll have to think about it, Kirk. Okay?"
"Jubal. . ."
"No, I want to think about this. I need some time."
"Fine. I'll give you time. Will Monday be long enough?"
Jubal giggled softly at this. "I think Monday will be long enough. See you on Monday, Kirk."
"Does this mean. . ."
"No, but it means I'll tell you whatever I decide in person."
"So formal."
"Oh, you. You're silly you know that?"
"It comes from hanging out with young people all day long."
"I'll have you know I'm anything but a silly young person."
"You're right. You're wonderful."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Jubal?"
She sighed, "see you on Monday, Kirk."
Kirk pumped his fist and said, "see you."
He hung up, but was happy for the rest of the day. Maybe he'd be able to salvage this situation yet