What if it only took the power of thought to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself, and only limited by your imagination!
Self-made Man, Umm Person - Complete Rewrite Chapter One
By BillieBob
There are so many questions I should have asked myself. Questioning my every thought, action, and reaction. Regrets? Some. Hopes and desires? Quite a few. What if it only took the power of thought to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself, and only limited by your imagination!
This is for the most part a complete rewrite. The feel of the story did not seem to flow the way
I first intended. Also, the delay from earlier attempt was due to the death of a dear close family
member in a hospice from cancer. Mom, I love and shall cherish your memory forever.
Okay, first things first. I'm by no means a professional writer. But I do know what looks okay
While reading it. This is my first serious try at writing, so I would appreciate any constructive
response to my humble offering. If it entertains? Bonus.
Send a PM on the website, or email me at [email protected]
Disclaimer
Last but least this is not of an adult nature, at first. Who knows. Maybe later on the story may go that direction. Also this is fantasy with a dose of fiction stirred in, with no connection with the real world, or it's occupants. Just a product of a hopefully fertile imagination. My biggest wish with this piece is to be at least more than one short chapter. Lastly. If I don't run out of talent and manage to continue this, I promise not to repeat this preface rambling for you to wade through.
Self-made Man, Umm Person - Complete Rewrite
By BillieBob
Chapter One
There are so many questions I should have asked myself. Questioning my every thought, action, and reaction. Regrets? Some. Hopes and desires? Quite a few. What if it only took that to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself!
My name is Bart. Short for Bartholomew Johnson. Imagine growing up with THAT millstone around YOUR neck! Maybe that had some influence as my being somewhat of a loner. That and
My family moving every two or three years.
Alone. I've pretty much kept to myself. Never any real close friendships as long as I can remember. Never really 'tight' with anyone. I was always looked at as having a slight to at best an average build. Standing at only five foot six inches, quite a few of the girls, and virtually all of the guys were taller than me, all through grade school. Imagine dating under those conditions. Oh, there were a few dates. Just casual dates with attractive girls. Pick them up at their home in my restored 69’ Camaro. Meet the parents. Show the proper respect. From the feedback afterwards it seemed like we both had an enjoyable time. Even though I didn't feel like there was an overwhelming demand for dating me, if I was persistent, I could at least get a date.
Then, there are my brother, and sister. One each. Twins no less. Older than me. Mary, my sister. Bob my brother. Them against me. Or at least it felt like it. Another source or reason for feeling alone. Talk about sibling rivalry. Enough to make me feel like an only child in a house of strangers. The usual pranks by them. I was so easy to prank. They would say a true gullible sucker. So as a result I read a lot immersed myself in school work getting straight A’s from practically from the first grade. It was the only way I could cope with everything. Mom and Dad had me by mistake or accident. Or an afterthought. At least that was what I thought because Mom and Dad didn’t seem to pick up on what was going on between us kids. Maybe they didn’t want to see it so they didn’t have to deal with it.
Okay. Time for extreme dose of self pity. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, time to go out in the garden to eat some worms, and so on. (fat worms, fuzzy worms, juicy worms). I don’t remember how the whole ditty goes. I found several versions on the internet, but not the one I originally first heard. I do remember just hearing it gave me a vividly bad taste in my mouth.
Eww, gross!
We seem to move every two to four years. Something to do with Mom and Dad’s jobs. Classified work for Company X it seems. I learned long ago not to ask other than how their day in general went. You know. Good or bad. Nothing more. Nothing at all that much stands out in memory. Not till my junior year in high school at yet another new town and school when I encountered 'The Unholy Five'. I never heard that nickname till apparently too late in regards to dating. I was on a date with Kathy, Thursday night and were having a sandwich at a Subway. We were sharing a foot long when two classmates, (both girls) came in and sat down with us. I didn't feel particularly crowded till they started picking at our food.
"Hey Barty, gimme a bite."
Another joined in. "Yeah, gimme one too."
Agh. Man are they rude, I thought.
"Tell you what, I'll buy you a foot long sandwich of your choice, the two of you can share, and leave mine alone. Chips and drink included."
"Hey 'Stingy', I just wanted to see what it tasted like!"
"Stingy? I offered to pretty much buy the two of you supper and you have the gall to call me stingy?"
I thought that was the end off it, but soon all three were on my case bitching calling me an
asshole, among other things. Including my date! How’s that for gratitude? Man, did that
hurt. What a bunch of self centered brats. I could feel my eyes start to tear up at that point.
That’s when I had enough from all the abuse, and name calling. Getting up I turned away
intending to leave. Amazingly Kathy my 'date' asked,
"Hey asshole, how am I going to get home?"
Turning back to her I replied with,
"You should have thought of that before you turned on me like a bitch."
The look she gave me had a unhealthy look to it. It chilled me to the bone and gave me goose
bumps all over. Turning back with the other two standing on either side of me I could have swore
something seemed wrong. Did they get taller, or did I get shorter? And my whole body had this really weird feeling. Sort of like feedback in a sound system a band would use on stage. Add fingernails running across a blackboard.
“Hey Kathy, how come your date is shrinking?” while they grabbed my arms.
“I don’t know, but he looks more and more like a girl too.”
“Hmm, he is starting to look like a hottie. Check out the hair.”
“And the hooters! Major hottie.
“Please, let go of me.” I begged. Hooters, er breasts? On me? What the hell?
“Oh is Snook’ums goanna cry?”
“Alright! That’s enough! I won’t put up with that behavior in my store! You girls behave or get out!”
Thank god, the manager! With that they released my arms.
Nevertheless I wanted out of there so badly I didn't wait for anymore 'quality time' with them and
got out as fast as I could go. I quickly walked out to my car, picking up my shoes along the way because they fell off for some reason and got in. I lost what little composure I had and started crying like a little grade school girl. And to top it off I looked up in
the rearview mirror and had to adjust it! Was I shrinking? And what’s with the steering wheel? It has hand indentations where my hands were!
WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPENING TO ME?! I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling throughout my whole body. Inside and on my skin. Itchy, tingly, buggy.
The cry did me a lot of good. After I calmed down enough to drive home, I started to feel more…
more like myself. Whatever that is anymore. When I finally pulled into the driveway and parked, I checked myself out and saw everything back in it’s proper place. As in I’m me again.
When I got inside I saw my parents in the living room. My parents Marie, and Jim.
"Bartholomew honey, is that you?" Mom asked.
"It must be, I have a key."
"Don't talk back. It's rude and not at all like you."
"Sorry Mom. I’ve had a very strange and stressful night. Almost like I was trapped in a badly written movie script. I don't feel very much like myself at all."
"What happened to you?
"I don't know. I don’t have a clue what is happening. I was on a date tonight with Kathy, and things went from good to bad to weird. I must have had the worst night of my life!"
I then started to tell Mom and Dad what happened on our date. I had gotten to the part of me getting out to my car and crying when Mom started screaming, "STOP! STOP HONEY!!!"
"What Mom, stop what?"
"Talking. You. You seem to be changing... right before our eyes!"
"That’s impossible!"
"Go look in the hallway mirror."
Okay, I walked to the hallway to satisfy Mom without looking, turning to face my parents. All this
time only Mom was talking. Dad seemed to be frozen, just a stunned, shocked look on his face.
"If I look in the mirror, will you please stop this talk?"
"Please, go have a look Dear."
I really love my parents so much, but this is just silly. Finally I turned around, just to make her
happy. When I looked in the mirror, the reflection seemed to whack the very reality of my being!
There in the mirror was what to me looked like a teenaged girl! Then everything went black. That was my last memory of that evening. Later, I was told my eyes rolled back in my head, then
dropping like a rock! A classic fainting scene from a movie if there was ever was one.
My next memory was finding myself in my own bed in pajamas. I then heard an exchange of low whispers. I think both mom and dad talking to each other.
'Moan.' Oh do I ever feel bad! Ache all over.
"Shhhh, she, err he's coming around. Be quiet. You'll wake, her, ah him.”
"Honey, how are you feeling? You gave us quite a scare.
You've been out for almost twelve hours!"
“How did I get here?”
“We carried you in from the hallway and put you to bed.”
"Why didn't someone wake me. I'm late for school!”
Mom answered with, "I called the school telling them you won't be in today because you are
sick."
"Oh. I guess that explains how bad my head aches. Can I have something for that?"
"No you can't. Not till you see a doctor. With what has been happening, we can't take a chance
with even the most simple pain medication. If I can't get you in at the doctors office, we're going
to the Emergency room."
"Mom, please my head hurts so badly. I'm sorry for any backtalk last night."
"Honey, I'm not trying to punish you. There are some very strange things happening with your body. Till we find out exactly what that is, and the cause and effect, and all that’s involved, we cannot take the chance of what the most simple medication may do to you."
"Mom? What’s happening to me?"
"I don't know dear, but you seemed to have, err regained yourself since last night. At least what
was happening last night does not seem to be permanent. Whether or not of your own control is
the question."
"How could I ever be controlling something that sounds like part of a bad movie plot?"
"I don't know that either. I'm going to call our doctor's office to see how soon we can get in to have him take a look at you, and hopefully do something."
"Okay Mom, thanks."
With that, Mom walked into the den closing the door for some reason to use the extension in there.
The silence was thick between dad and me. We both were stuck for words to say. Finally I broke the ice.
"So Dad, how was your and Mom's evening?"
He smiled a little and actually blushed.
"Oh, the night was good. Very good."
"Uh, Dad?"
"Yes Son?"
"Say no more. I get the idea." It was my turn to blush. Yes they're adults. Healthy adults, but
they're still my parents. I'm glad they are still in love with each other, unlike so many of my
classmate's parents, and still together.
At that point mom came back in my room. “Bart honey, do you need help getting dressed? I've got you an appointment with the doctor's office in an hour."
"Thanks Mom. I think I'm okay enough to get dressed."
With that I carefully got up out of bed select something from my closet. I still felt a little lightheaded.
"Mom, can you help me pick something out? I can't make up my mind."
"Sure. Let me see what is available."
With hangers sliding back and forth. An occasional "hmm", then, "Here you go, try this."
Dark brown slacks, tan button down shirt with long sleeves, black socks, and black loafers completed her selection.
"Bart, you think you can dress yourself, or do you need your dad to help? I'll be in the kitchen making a quick breakfast so we don't go to the doctor hungry. There is no telling how long this will take."
"I'm still feeling a little dizzy Mom, but I think I can manage. Do I have time for a shower?"
"Yes, but lets get a move on."
After my shower and having gotten dressed, I walked downstairs to the kitchen, joining my parents. The shower helped a lot.
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you still here? I thought you'd be going in to work."
"I called in to work and told them there was a family emergency. I want to be with both of you.
This just might be extremely serious."
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Hmm, I smell Malt O Meal. Mom, I haven't had that in a while."
“I know dear. Sit down and eat before it gets cold.”
“Okay Mom.”
“Bart honey. Your father and I talked and no matter what they find, remember we both love
you so much. We fully intend to stand by and support you through all of this.”
“Really?”
“What do you mean by that remark?”
“Because as long as I can remember I get the feeling I’m the proverbial fifth wheel in all matters regarding this family. Just an afterthought in the general overall population. Haven’t you noticed how my ‘loving siblings’ treat me?”
Oh no. Now the tears again. I feel like such a girl.
With that I started to feel that strange feeling again.
“Honey please calm down. It’s starting again. We really do love you. You are in no way an afterthought. You are a legitimate member of our family. If that is how you feel, we need to have a family meeting and clear the air, or this will tear us all apart!”
“Okay Mom. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
After That we were on the road.
Continued at the doctors.
Chapter Two
Lions & tigers & doctors oh my!
Self-made Man, Umm Person -3&4
By BillieBob
What if it only took the power of thought to make things possible? Just imagine your future and make it real. If you have the tools to do it. Mainly, yourself, and only limited by your imagination!
Chapter Three
When we got home I went to go to my room to see about any homework for school I may have to do, but Mom stopped me.
“Bart honey, we want you to go to your room, lay down, and take a nap.”
“Why, Mom?”
“Please just do it. You’ve had a lot going on today and need to relax right now. No stress, Okay?”
“Okay Mom, I’ll go do that.”
“Thank you dear.”
So I went to my room, and got ready for a nap. No stress. No stress. Ever try not to think of something? The more I tried not to think, the more I thought about it! Grrrr! Pretty soon that old damn feeling started again. Oh no! Then the tears started again!
“Mom! Mom! It’s starting again!”
“Hang on dear! Be right there!”
Soon I was crying on mom’s shoulder while she rocked me like a small infant. I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I was aware of was waking up two hours later. I just laid there listening to the sounds of the house, and the normal background sounds. With a gentle knock mom opened the door.
“Are you awake dear?”
“Yes mom. What time is it?”
“Almost time for supper.”
“Where is everyone?”
“We are all waiting for you in the dining room. Remember we need to have that family meeting.”
“Oh, okay I’ll be down in a minute. Thanks for earlier. That was so scary each time that happens. I love you.”
“I love you too dear.”
Then she closed the door to give me some privacy. When I walked into the dining room all conversation stopped and all eyes turned to me. That’s when I started to feel like a deer in headlights!
“Hi, everyone.”
“Hi Bart!” everyone replied in one voice. I looked around to figure out what was going on.
“Okay, am I in the right house, or did all of you get replaced by The Stepford Family?”
Everyone started to laugh and looking a little embarrassed. That broke the ice and things seemed to go back to normal, so I felt it was safe to go sit in my usual spot across from mom.
Mom tapped her spoon on the table to get our attention.
“Everyone, I want your attention. We are going to do something a little different starting now. I want everyone to join hands, and we are going to have a short prayer before we begin supper.”
Bob didn’t think she was serious with a snicker.
“Bob? Do you want to eat tonight? asked mom.
“Yes Mom I do.”
‘Well?”
“Okay, sorry I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
Mary was silent through this whole exchange, her mouth gaping open.
“Jim, would you like to say grace?” asked mom.
“Yes Marie, I would.”
“Lord please bless this fine food, our home, and the members of this family, and keep them safe within your loving embrace. Please guide us through these trying times with your wisdom, Amen.”
As we passed each dish around to each other, the conversation picked back up to our normal level. The food was Mom’s usual delicious, mouthwatering dinner fare. I think Mary might have had a hand in it. At one time she had trouble boiling water. No, she isn’t blonde. Of all the five of us, my hair color comes closest to being called blonde. If I had to describe both Mom’s and Mary’s hair color, I’d have to say Mom’s is auburn, and Mary’s is a shade darker. Both Dad’s and Bob’s hair color looks to be even darker than Mary’s. Another reason I felt like I wasn’t a genetic member of the family.
“Hey Bart, how was your hot date last night? asked Bob, with a snicker and Mary’s grin.
I did my usual goldfish imitation.
“Bob! Are you teasing your brother?” asked Mom.
“Mom, it’s okay. Bob, I guess you could say it was a washout, with a touch of Twilight Zone, to make it totally perfect.” I said without any enthusiasm.
“Why, what happened?” Bob asked.
“Kathy and two of her friends is what happened. We were at a Cousins Sub, sharing a foot long sub and… it got ugly. I don’t know why I even bothered to ask her out on a date. I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. As far as I’m concerned, she is a dead subject.” I said.
Just then, the telephone rang. Our parents have a rule with family meals being interrupted by telephone calls. We let the answering machine take the call. If the caller doesn’t leave a message, then it must not have been all that important. After the fourth ring, we heard the caller:
“Hello Bart? This is Kathy. Could you please pick up? I’m really oh so sorry for what happened last night. Please call me.”
We all heard that.
“I think I’ll call that bitch when hell freezes over.” I groused.
“Bart! You know how your father and I feel about that kind of language.” Mom scolded.
“Sorry Mom, but you weren’t there. She really did act like what I described. In spades no less.” I argued. “She and her two ‘wonderful’ friends talked and acted in a very uncivilized and immature manner. Trailer trash would have been better behaved. Since I’m supposed to be a civilized gentleman, I didn’t give them what they deserved. If I was a girl, my first thought would be to scratch their eyes out, and then knock their teeth down their throat in a very ladylike manner.”
Oops! I saw Mom and Dad glance at each other before looking back at me. I guess Mary and Bob don’t know what happened last night. I have to watch what I say.
“Which Kathy and her two friends are you talking about, Bart?” Mary asked.
“Kathy Wilson, Valerie Collins, and Sandra Santos,” I answered. “Why do you ask?”
“Bart, I asked because there is something you should know about those girls. It’s common knowledge that they are called and call themselves ‘The Unholy Five’. They are what you’d have to describe as militant lesbians. They are very anti male to the point of scary. They even scare those big jocks on the varsity football team. I’m telling you for your own good to watch yourself around any of them. And don’t trust them, or you might regret it. There are plenty of better girls out there who’d be thrilled to have a date with you.”
“Well pardon me for being a typical deaf, dumb, blind, and thick headed male of the species. I hadn’t noticed any girls who’d give me the time of day, let alone grace me by looking at me like I was more than a revolting bug to be stepped on. Maybe that’s why I think I don’t have any really close friends. And since I’m on a good rant, I’ll complete that line of thought and repeat what I said to Mom this morning before we went to the…”
“BART!” shouted, Mom and Dad.
I think they don’t want Mary or Bob to know about last night or this morning.
“What? I was just going to say how I don’t feel like a legitimate member of this family. Just an afterthought, an accident of birth, or fifth wheel. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere, or anyplace, now or ever. I feel like the first part of that old movie was written just for me. You know, “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart. Maybe I never should have been born.” I said feeling strangely calm, at peace with myself. “Maybe I’d be better off if I were dead.” To say there were shocked looks on everyone’s faces would have been an understatement. And with that I excused myself, took my dishes into the kitchen, and went to my room. When I got to my room I found my cell phone and called Kathy back to find out why she would call me after what they did last night.
“Hello?”
“Hello Kathy? This is Bart. What did you want?” I coldly asked.
“Oh thank goodness you called! I was worried because of last night. I wanted to apologize for what we did. I’m so sorry.” She said.
“Sure you’re sorry! Of course you are! I thought we were friends. Friends don’t treat friends like that. Some friend you are!” I was still pissed at her.
“Bart, can I see you? I really need to apologize and I think I can do it better in person. Please?” she pleaded.
“I don’t know. After last night I don’t know if I can trust you. Actually I was told by someone I shouldn’t trust you.” I said.
“Who was that? She asked.
‘That’s not the issue, but can I trust you. Right now I don’t feel that I can trust anyone.”
“Please, I promise I won’t pull anything. Just you and me somewhere quiet?” She said almost sounding like she was crying.
“I don’t know.”
“Please? Do you want me to beg? Okay, I’m begging you to meet with me so I can apologize properly.” She pleaded.
“Okay, I’ll see you, even though something tells me not to. Where would you like to meet?”
“Umm… How about at my house?” she suggested.
“No Kathy, I’d prefer someplace more neutral. Your house isn’t even close to being neutral. How about out by the lake,” I countered with.
“That sounds fine with me.” She said. ‘He’s a bigger fool than I thought! That’s even a better place to spring my surprise on him!’ She pondered.
Before hanging up they agreed to meet in a half hour to forty-five minutes. Then I changed into a clean set of clothes, and walked out to the living room.
“I’m sorry about going off like I did at dinner.” I said to everyone.
“That’s understandable dear, you’ve had a very stressful day. But don’t make a habit of it, as I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior.” mom answered. “Are you going out somewhere?”
“Yes Mom, what happened with Kathy is bothering me, and I called her back to meet and have a little talk with her to show her I didn’t care for what she did.”
“Remember what I told you about her Bart. Don’t trust her and be very careful.” Mary cautioned.
“Does that mean I should take an aluminum baseball bat along?”
“BART! That’s just too extreme!” scolded Mom. “But if you do, leave it in your car trunk.”
“I’ll do that and take my cell phone along. Just so you know, I’m meeting over at the lake and expect to be back in two to two and a half hours, okay? I don’t intend to go anywhere else. And I fully intend to be very careful around her. There’s just something about her that seems a bit off in a scary sort of way. I love you all in spite of my earlier rant.”
“We know that dear. And we love you too. Sometimes there has to be a clearing of the air, we say hurtful things not meaning to hurt others. It’s the little rants that make us closer and stronger. We’ll keep our cell phones on in case you need anything. Again, be careful dear.”
I will Mom.”
Then after stopping in the garage for the bat and putting it in the trunk, I was on my way to meet her.
Chapter Four
At The lake
When I got to the lake and parked my car, I noticed only one other car there and Kathy sitting on the top of a picnic table. I got out and looked around to see if we were truly alone. Satisfied I walked over to where she sat. As I approached and had gotten halfway to her, she hopped off the table and walked over to me. She had this remorseful expression on her face.
She started talking and I held up my hand to silence her.
“I have two questions. Why? Why did you and your friends act that way towards me? Did I ever do anything so despicable to warrant that kind of treatment?” I asked. “I’m sorry to have ever asking you out on a date. If I knew you could be capable of that, I never would have bothered. I was only looking for a friend is all, and you pull that kind of thing. And contrary to what you may think, I wasn’t after a sexual relationship with you, or even a quick piece of ass. I wasn’t raised that way. I was told that you and your four friends were lesbians, but that has no bearing on the subject of friendship, and how I feel towards others who may be gay, transsexual, or transgendered. I think the key words are acceptance and tolerance.”
While I was having my little rant chewing her out, I didn’t notice her getting closer till we were face to face. Worse yet, I didn’t notice on of her friends sneaking up behind me and quickly get on all fours, till Kathy give me a shove, sending me ass over teakettle. My last thought then was I screwed up big time leaving the bat in the trunk of my car!
I must have hit my head when I landed, and had gotten knocked out, because at first I felt pretty disoriented. I tried to move, but could not. From what little I could feel, I was tied up naked on one of the wooden tables. My arms and legs had fallen asleep from the position they were in. Arms hyper-extended over my head, with some kind of wide thick straps. My legs however were folded up alongside my hips. I’m not sure, but I thought my bottom was near the edge of the table with the same sort of straps. The reason I say all of that was I was also blindfolded! I started to pull against the straps trying to free myself, earning a real hard slap across the face.
“Settle down bitch, until I tell you to move!” said a voice I thought belonging to Kathy accompanied by various sources of laughter.
“LET ME GO!” I screamed.
“Not until we’re done with you, my little bitch! I’m going to make you mine. I think you are going to really like my training methods too!” she threatened.
“NO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?” I screamed as loud as I could.
“You’ll soon find out.”
Oh god! Those tingles and feelings are happening again, and with my limbs asleep and strapped down there wasn’t a damn thing I could do! After several minutes of them slapping, pinching, and generally beating on me they apparently liked what they saw. I was turning into a girl again!
“That’s what I want to see. My sweet little bitch is back. I’m going to really enjoy this!” that sick cow commented. “Make sure she stays put while I get ready for her. You’ll all get your turn when I’m done.”
A couple of minutes later I felt something slapping the inside of my thigh. I didn’t like what it might be!
“Hey bitch, say hello to my little friend!” she said.
Then, I thought I was going to die! The most intense and extreme pain I could ever imagine! I felt like my very guts were being torn out of me, over and over! The mental image of a mid-evil weapon came to mind. A spiked battle club of some sort! All this time I’m screaming until I had no voice left!
“Hey! She is, I mean she WAS a virgin!” I heard someone say amidst gales of laughter.
Thankfully, I finally passed out from the pain. Hopefully only that and not also lose my mind to become just another turnip in the padded vegetable garden.
Authors note: I’m still working out what Bart and Bart’s female persona looks like. Here is your chance to name the female one! I was going to say if I pick one, but decided to say WHEN I use one, I’ll gladly acknowledge who submitted the name. These two chapters have been done without an outline or net of any kind. In describing the attack and rape scene I tried to keep it as nongraphic as possible. But it was integral to the storyline. The gentle nature of Bart verses the five girls who attacked him/her. I’m sorry if you were offended.