New Year’s thoughts........
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I just wanted to wish all of my friends here a very Happy New Year, and best wishes for 2020.
This was my fourth holiday season since going full time as my true self, and the best yet. Whether because I have become more natural and comfortable in myself, and hence more passable, or because the public around me is simply becoming more accepting, I can’t say. Perhaps a little of both?
Either way, I find the stares and curious looks I receive becoming fewer and further apart. Not to mention the fact that it has been ages since I was misgendered. My co-workers are extremely accepting of me, as are most of my relatives. Not all; there are members of my family who do not accept me, but that is their loss.
I guess the moral of my story, and the advice I would give to my sisters here, is be yourself. Those who love and care about you will still be there for you. And you will find a whole new world and new friends who appreciate your true self.
Yes, there will be pain - but in the long run it is worth it. Yes, I still have bad days - I still get depressed at times, and even yesterday found myself crying in the shower - but more at the life I lost by not being myself earlier in life than anything else. If I could live my life over would I change it? I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to give up my three wonderful sons, or give up my relationship with the woman I love more than life itself. But I can’t help but cry for what might have been if I had been able to grow up as the girl I have always been. How different would life have been? Would I even be the same person? And how would that change have impacted those around me?
All in all, I am who I am because of everything I have been through, and I like to think that I am a much better person since transitioning.
So Happy New Year to all, and best wishes for a better life and a better world in 2020!