For Gwen

Encrypted-16

Encrypted-16

Chapter 16

Brandy gives me this sort of sweet smile but there’s some of the whole bits there I can tell that she misses her son. But she reaches out to me and pulls me out of bed sort of by just leading me by my fingertips and I go with her to the kitchen and she does go to the fridge to get us some juice first and I smile as I reheat the food I made.

But part of me is wondering just how do I ask her about such a thing? I don’t like that she’s hurting and I’m pretty sure that the whole dream I was in was a memory dream that I had tuned in of hers.

So do I just come out with it?

Encrypted-8

Encrypted 8

Chapter 8

I wake but I don’t wake. I mean I open my eyes and the world is changed again. I’m not lost but I’m here…or rather there again in this place that’s outside of myself. I look around and see myself and Brandy still intertwined it bed.

I hold my image self’s? Hands out in front of me and I seem to look like myself but there’s this blue-white shimmer around myself. I try to keep calm and just try and record all the strangeness.

Encrypted-7

Encrypted-7

Chapter 7

It might sound strange but being a bartender is actually very good if you’re like me. I have issues with clean. I need things to be clean and this I can control here behind the bar. You take away the social interaction it’s a whole system of measurements and protocols and technical details that are actually soothing to someone like me. Oddly enough I like the dance music too the beat of the club stuff get’s into what I’m doing like a way for me to time myself. Plus there’s the fact that I just like to dance. I’ve studied both dance and music as my minors and while it’s part of me being different I kind of found that dance and music let me feel like I actually sort of had a soul.

There were a lot of years that I wondered that. I mean I still wonder what a soul is but I’ve managed to get myself to a point where there were times I though I could feel like other people did, like they had one.

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