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I'm starting to read "Bike" and I've got to the point where Cathy comes out to the faculty, and there is a question of her using the ladies room. It made me think, has anyone had difficulties with this? Myself, I've used the ladies in public places but not at work where they know I'm transitioning (I use the disabled washroom). How do others deal with this issue?
Snicker
My experience was really funny. Our first child now 10 was born in 2001. It was 2002 and I had just transitioned and in Washington state I had met the conditions to be allowed to have the coveted F on my drivers license. In Seattle/ King County I was legal to use the woman's room but fear stopped me. My spouse and I were Celebrating our little girls first birthday and she had just Python her first piece of chocolate cake. As normal for her food in meant you know what out. At that moment my spouse handed my daughter to me with the diaper bag and told me good luck. I gasped to which I was reminded at the table I was now a girl and I needed to use the girls room. Things turned out OK including the older women commenting that changing diapers only got easier as time and experience went by. No torches and pitch forks no angry crowds I had finial graduated.
Misha
The only bad question is the one not asked.
Mens until a double take from a guy
i used the mens, up untill an incident where i was in a small washroom and a guy started to walk in and stopped and stepped back to look back at the door to make sure he wasn't walking into the womens.
After that, the doubts about passing or being questioned left me.
I never had anyone verbally challenge me, but occasionally have had some odd looks.
Oh and i always made sure the psych letter was in my handbag just in case.
Six weeks
until I see my gender therapist again. Hopefully I'll be whizzing towards this one! =D
Washroom panic is frequently
Washroom panic is frequently an issue for those that transition on the job. Long before I started to transition, I used the unisex handicapped washroom—I knew I wasn't a guy, even if nobody else did, and didn't want to insert myself into the male washroom. Apparently this was noticed, as when my transition was announced to the group I worked with, one person had an A-hah moment, and exclaimed "So that's why they've always used the handicapped washroom!"
After transition, I used women's public washrooms any time I needed to, except when I used the closest washrooms at work, where I continued to use the same handicapped washroom. Until a new bunch of folks moved to an area of the office near us, and that room became frequently unavailable as people were using it to change into or out of exercise clothing, and when it was available, it was no longer as clean as it had been. Since I was already using women's washrooms everywhere else, including other parts of the work facility, I just started going to the women's washroom on the other side of the building. Ironically, that's what generated the complaint. People that worked over there didn't want me using their washroom if there was some reason I shouldn't be using the one near where I worked. I got called to a meeting with HR and my management, the result of which was that I should just use the women's washroom closest to where I worked.
From the other side...
While I realize that my experiences as solely a crossdresser are for a totally different reason, and in different times and places, I still wanted to comment, if only because they come from the female to male POV.
Bottom line, though, is that I, when crossdressed and presenting as a guy, initially approached the men's room with extreme trepidation. (BTW -- for obvious reasons, I don't do this at work. Fun is fun and work is work and while I may push the envelope at work, I won't screw around -- I'm serious about this). I had all kinds of flip-flops going on my stomach, and while I felt a hell of a lot of excitement in entering this domain, which was at the mall, I was still scared as hell.
I wasn't afraid of being being arrested for violating some arcane law, but rather that if some guy read me he might attempted that which should not be attempted.
And of course there are practicalities. Because I am packing at those times, I can't really use any of the devices designed to allow females to stand and urinate. Yes, I know that there are packers that allow this, but I haven't bought one yet. That said, I've had to use the stalls.
It has gotten a lot less scary -- nowadays, I just stride right in, do my business, and walk right out --- conveniently not washing my hands -- what a guy! :-)
Always briefed or strapped!
Trap
True Story
True Story
At a Westlife (Irish/European Boyband) Concert in Dublin's Croke Park, which is just about the biggest stadium in Ireland, the usual huge queue (or line if you are American) developed to use the ladies restrooms.
One rather frazzled lady decided to brave the men's facility rather than have an accident. "What the f@*k are you doing in the men's loo?" one man demanded as she walked in.
Undeterred the woman responded "What the f@*k are you doing at a Westlife concert " and pushed past him into a stall.
I only just saw this one
there is a funny situation with toilets in a motor way services a bit later on in Bike. I hope you enjoy it when you get to it.
The issue with toilets is a real one for those in transition, grown up women don't take any notice of it, after all we all share toilets in our homes with other members of the family and friends/visitors.
Angharad.
Angharad
Using the ladies.
Well, Mandy and I, (Hardened shoppers.) always use the ladies loos when we're out shopping. We also use the ladies changing rooms when trying stuff on. It's never been a problem so far and that 2 years of shopping now.
Those are bras and a dress in those bags, Mandy and I had just tried them on in Primark Cardiff Ladies changing rooms.
No problems with loos or changing.
Bev
you look just lovely dear
why would anyone give you a problem? You pass without any difficultly.
Using the Women's washroom.
In Wisconsin and Michigan they will change the sex designation on your driver's license providing that you have been in transition 1 year or more. When I went to Motor Vehicle in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to change my address, I had to fill out a small form. On that form I put female. I was told that the only way they could change the sex designation was if I was in transition 1 year or more. I gave her my therapist's name and my endocrinologist's name, along with their statements on their letterhead, and the lady at Motor Vehicle changed the sex designation. When I moved to Michigan, and changed over my driver's license, the F was already on the Wisconsin one, so Michigan didn't question it.
I have been using the ladies restrooms ever since I was 7 years old, and I never had a problem. I don't have a problem now, either. Every time my doctor needs a urine sample they give me the key to the ladies restroom. The women, if any, that are in there, smile, and then leave. The thing, too, is, make sure you have your transition letter from your therapist, just in case they need further information. The F is also on my passport.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Using the Ladies' Room
I don't even think about it now. Mind you, I did transition 10 years ago.
A funny thing happened at a local college. A group of us women were standing in line, legs crossed and hoping we got to a stall before an accident occurred. One of the other women said, "Sod this; we shall overcome" and six of us turned and marched into the gents loo. Perhaps the men felt intimidated, but no one said anything!
Susie