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They're not just used in passive constructions but also to indicate continuing actions and states of being. In most uses, they tend to distance the reader from the action. Sometimes you want that effect for the purposes of the narrative. Consider these constructions:
"I was cleaning my gun when someone knocked on my door."
"While cleaning my gun I heard a knock on my door."
They're going to have different effects on the narrative, you might want one effect more than the other.
Generally, if you get rid of was and were, you are forced to use a more vivid or active verb to carry the action of the sentence. It's a mental trick to get into the scene and it works on both reader and author.
When I finish a story, I do a search for was and were (and if I find a lot of them for be and been, too). If I can eliminate 3/4ths of the was/were constructions, especially the passive ones (Jill was hit), then I figure I've made an appreciable improvement in my ability to grab a reader. I try to avoid them while writing, too.
Using was and were is a natural way of speaking and a signal of oral storytelling, so don't disdain them completely, especially in dialog.
But here's another pair of sentences:
"The hills were a thousand different colors, all of them brown."
"Someone had painted the hills a thousand different colors, all of them brown."
Getting rid of the were in the first sentence caused me to come up with the active and vivid metaphor in the second one. That's the real value of searching out the was/were constructions and reconsidering them.
- Erin
Had been
Sometimes it works. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..." really gets the point across.
Try shifting your samples in tense:
"I had been cleaning my gun when someone knocked on my door." Using a past progressive helps to indicate that the action was interrupted.
"The hills had been painted a thousand different colors, all of them brown." Your metaphor works even if you keep the sentence in passive voice; the key was the shift to past perfect which helps convey a sense of a greater passage of time. I also think passive voice works better than "someone" in this case, unless your intent is to get the reader thinking about that Someone.
Yes
It's not a one-size-fits-all thing, you have to think about it. But it's a mental exercise in livening up one's prose that can be very useful.
Personally, I find "had been" constructions of limited use. They're good for precision but they don't add vibrancy and they are the antithesis of immediacy.
Approaching such constructions with the idea of eliminating "being" and replacing it with "doing" is helpful to me in visualizing the scene. And it can lead to the use of more sensory clues.
"Smelly gun-oil rags still in my hand, I answered the door."
If passive voice serves your purpose better, use it; this is an exercise in making sure you're not missing out on using something livelier and more appropriate.
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Had Been's
While I was cruising the Internet a couple of years ago I came across an ebook site, probably defunct by now, that had some pretty decent guidelines for authors and the stories they were thinking of submitting.
There was the usual cautions about overusing elipses and a discussion of first and third person (where they recommended third, but didn't insist on it), and a few other neat tidbits, but the one that stuck with me was their use of tense.
They recommended, unless the author had a very good reason not to do it, simple past tense for everything except:
Present tense for explicit thoughts and conversation.
Past perfect for flashbacks, the "had been" construction.
Naturally, there are some exceptions in conversations and descriptions that describe things that happened before, where you have to use past perfect, but that's about it. Simple.
Most books I've read follow this pattern. They're also, generally speaking, pretty sparing with the flashbacks, and for anything extended, they like to have a character reminisce, or tell a story.
Works for me.
- Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
Present tense?
I'm not sure just wht you mean about using present tense for explicit thoughts and conversation. Do you mean in explicit thoughts and conversation?
"So I go up to him and I say, 'Don't be all boy-meets-girl on me, okay?' and he just laughs."
That what you mean? People do talk like that in casual situations. It's really about the only use simple present gets in English. Otherwise, present tense is used for imperatives, continuing action or practice and very little else.
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Tense times.
While the example you used is certainly acceptable if it fits the narrative style you're using, I don't think that's what Doug was advocating. I suspect that what he really meant is that present tense is *allowable* in spoken dialog and explicit thoughts.
If you think about it, dialog is the one area of writing when almost *all* tenses can be used freely.
"I've straightened up the living room and set the table. Now I'm going to start cooking dinner. Our guests should be arriving in an hour."
More on explicit thoughts coming up elsewhere.
Amelia
"Reading rots the mind." - Uncle Analdas
"Reading rots the mind." - Uncle Analdas
While I was,
While I was cleaning my gun, someone knocked on my door. This sounds better to me while I do not have a grasp of all the niceities of writing, I do try to make my work flow smoothly.
Love,
Paula
When the lines between reality and fantasy blur, true magic can begin.
Paula
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
The Coda
Chapterhouse: Dune
Depends
It depends on what you're trying to do. I tried to come up with an example that illustrated my point. Try it in different situations; it's a tool for making you think about what you're doing, not a panacea for all writing ills. :)
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Two Tense
Past tense = Teepees.
Present tense = North Face.
Too tense = Recommend aromatherapy.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Was and Had Been
Many times using "had been" for "was" clarifies the sentence.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)