Still in the hospital,Amanda continues her recovery process but what is the dark secret her family is hiding from her?

Karma Part 2
By Amanda D

I had been recovering from my second back surgery for about a week when Dr. Roy introduced me to the most evil woman I’d ever had the displeasure to meet. Her name was Karen Tyler and she was my physical therapist. Karen was twenty five years old and seriously into body building. She had long blonde hair and a beautiful smile but she looked like she could bench press a pick up truck. (Even if I was still a guy, she’d scare the crap out of me.)

At first she seemed nice enough but in reality it was her pleasure to torture me until I could take no more. She told me the torture would continue until I left the hospital, so I told her I’d leave that very day. She smiled her evil smile and said “You have to be able to walk at least as far as the bathroom before you can be released.”

“Who needs to walk?” I asked. “If you ask me walking is so overrated. Besides look how good I am with the wheel chair. A couple more weeks of practice and I’ll be trying out for the pro chair rodeo.” I added as I crashed into the far wall.

Karen laughed at my intentional joke and said. “You’re in a good mood today. I’m glad to see it. You’ve been acting so depressed since your surgery that we were beginning to think you may need professional help.”

She was right. I had been depressed. After my encounter with Alexander, I was scared shitless. I’d been trying to figure out what the Voice wanted from me but I had been unable to come up with any answers. It got to the point where I was unable to function in any way for fear of doing something wrong. But last night I decided that if I was alive, I needed to live. So here I was trying to make the best of the situation I was in. Even if it meant being tortured on a daily basis by this spunky devil woman. (I was thinking it was like penance for my former sins. Well probably not but it sounded good to me anyhow.)

“Ok miss introspective,” Karen said breaking my reverie, “we need to get you out of that chair and over to the pool for your morning walk.”(See I’m trying to be good. I didn’t even flinch when she called me miss. Ok I flinched but only a little bit.)

The pool sessions weren’t as bad as the support bars at least in the pool it was nice and cool. I rolled over to the pool and Karen helped me get in. My goal was simply to walk the twenty feet across the pool and back. However my legs, after almost two months of inactivity didn’t believe it was so simple. Nope not even a little. They screamed at me even though most of my weight was supported by either the water or the floatation device I had a death grip on.

I was grunting and groaning my way across the pool when Rita made her morning appearance. I had asked (begged actually) her not to come during my P.T. sessions but she still did. And of course when she came, she brought her own unique brand of encouragement with her. There were times Rita drove Karen so crazy I though she wouldn’t make it to the end of my session alive.

Rita saw me struggling to get across the pool and started right in on Karen. “Don’t you think she’s had enough for today? Look how pale she is! You know you shouldn’t push her so hard. She’s had a very traumatic couple of months.” Rita rambled.

“Mrs. David” Karen answered looking like she was going to strangle her “I have told you repeatedly if you are going to insist on coming to these sessions, you need to keep your comments to yourself.”

“Who do you think you are to be talking to me that way?” Rita began indignantly. “I’m her mother and I will certainly not keep my comments concerning her well being to myself. So you just back off missy!”

“MOTHER,” I hollered, “you apologize to Karen right this second. She’s doing her job and doesn’t need you making trouble for her. Now I need to finish my session here so you can go wait for me in my room or you can leave and come back in an hour when I’m done. Either way you need to go!”

Rita’s jaw hit the floor with a thud. At first I thought she was going to jump into the pool and drown me. But in the end she turned and stormed out leaving Karen staring at me in shock. I stared back at her and asked “What?”

Karen replied “I never thought I’d see the day you’d stand up to her like that. I mean I’ve seen you get irritated when she pulls her crap, but you never really say anything to her about it.”

“Well, she is my mother. (Ya know it just kills me to say that.) Or so everybody tells me any way, so I guess I cut her a little more slack than everybody else because she is just trying to look out for me. She is a pain in the ass though.”

Karen laughed “Well, I certainly don’t envy you having to go live with her when you get out of here.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot from everyone around here. The only one that seems happy to see her here is Dr. Roy and that’s because he gets his rocks off when he thinks I’m uncomfortable.” Karen looked at me questioningly. “I’m not his favorite patient.” was all I said. (Talk about an understatement.)

“Well how bout we get you out of there before you turn into a prune?” Karen asked.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I’m getting pretty tired.” I answered.

When I got back to my room Rita was waiting for me. (Just what I need.) Before she could start I said “Mother, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you but right now I’m exhausted and need to sleep.”

She gave me a look of embarrassment. “There’s no need for you to apologize dear. I’m the one that should be apologizing to you and that nice therapist. (Ok where did the real Rita go?) I know I’m something of a nag (her? nag? What ever would possess her to say such a thing?) but it’s only because I want to make sure that you’re getting the best possible care here.” Rita said quietly.

“I know Ma. I know.” I said tiredly.

“I love you, you know and I just want to see you get better so you can get out of here and back home.” she said sincerely.

“I love you too, Ma,” I replied. (What did I just say? Man I must be more tired that I thought.) She came over and gave me a hug. It was actually kind of nice. We both smiled at each other and I think she started to say something else but I didn’t hear her because I fell a sleep.

When I woke up Anita was there. “Good morning sunshine. Glad to see you’re finally awake. I was beginning to think you had slipped back into a coma,” she said smiling.

Slightly disorientated I asked “What time is it?”

“It’s a little after 7pm. You’ve been asleep for hours.” Anita replied.

“I guess I have.” I said dully. “Where is mom?”

“She went home to get dinner ready for dad. She was just leaving when I got here. She looked pretty upset, like she’d been crying. (Oh great) Do you have any idea why?” she asked.

Sheepishly I said “We had an argument while I was down at physical therapy. She was really aggravating Karen, my therapist, and I got mad at her and told her to leave.”

“You did what?” Anita almost yelled. “How could you do that to her? You know she can’t help the way she is.”

Now I was getting annoyed. “Do I?” I asked harshly. “The last time I checked I still didn’t have much in the way of a memory. So how would I know? Hmm?” (Ok it was a low blow. What can I say? I still suck sometimes.)

Anita looked mortified. “I didn’t mean to get upset with you.” she said “But you being here has mom really upset. (Like it’s a picnic for me.) When you were missing for those weeks, she cried every day. And when you turned up here, alive she got down on her knees and thanked God. All she seems to do is fret over your condition. So how about cutting her some slack?”(Wow as if I didn’t feel shitty enough. This girl really knows how to lay on the guilt.)

Wondering if I looked as embarrassed, about my behavior, as I felt and desperately wanting to change the subject I said “So how are things with you?”

She was thoughtfully silent for a moment and then apparently deciding not to peruse it any longer she said “Things are good. Jack says hello and hopes you’ll be out soon.”

“Jack?” I asked. (This time I wasn’t pretending.) “Jack's my husband” Anita answered “and I have a 3 year old son named Charlie. Who, by the way says he misses his aunty Manda and also hopes you’ll get better soon.” She promptly produces a menagerie of pictures. Jack is a handsome guy (YUCK!! Did I just refer to a man as handsome??? I really got issues.) with short sandy color hair. Charlie was an absolute cutie pie (Cutie Pie? UGGG) with his brown hair and freckles.

“A nephew and a brother in law” I said thoughtfully, wondering why she’d never mentioned them before now. “Nita, are there any other family members I need to know about? I don’t have any kids or anything, do I?” Her face got serious for a minute.

“No.” she whispered. “You don’t have any kids.”

“Is there something wrong?” I asked. The look on her face had me really concerned.

“No, it’s just… aw forget it, it’s not important right now.” I was going to say something else when she quickly changed the subject on me. The look on her face said she didn’t want to get into whatever it was, so I let it go. “Anyhow that covers the immediate family. All the aunts, uncles and cousins will be there for you to meet again when you get out of here. You know mom’s planning a party for you once you’re up to it, don’t you?” (Just what I want a friggen family reunion. GREAT! Just great.)

“She said something about it the first day she came here but since she hadn’t brought it up again, I’d hoped she’d forgotten.” I said hopefully.

Anita laughed “Yeah like that’s gonna happen. You know once mom sets her mind to something, there’s not turning her back.”

I smiled woefully “I guess you're right.” After that we made small talk for a while more and then we said our good byes and Anita left for home. As I had mentioned before I had always liked Anita when I was married to Mandy and after her visit my opinion of her had grown even better. I couldn’t ask for a better sister.

* * *

Today was certainly a day to remember. Yup gonna have to put this one in my diary, if I ever start one. Saturday April 9, 2005 was the day that for the first time since my incarceration here (2 months and 6 days worth) I was able to go to the bathroom by myself! I’ll have to say that after a small bit of confusion (my plumbing change left me standing there momentarily with nothing to hold on to) everything came out fine!

* * *

Jenny and I were out in the hall doing my twice daily trek to the nurses’ station. On top of my daily physical therapy sessions Karen had told me walking around the halls would help get me out of here sooner. So every day I walked with one of the nurses for support. "So I hear we might be loosing you soon.” Jenny stated.

“Yep that’s the rumor.” I replied. “Another week or so if things continue to go well.”

“You must be excited.” she said.

“I am. I can’t wait to go out side again. Spring is coming on, the weather is getting warmer and I can’t wait to feel the sun on my face again. It’s amazing the little things you miss when you’re stuck inside for so long.” was my reply. “When I’m ready, Karen said that we go work out at her gym together.” I needed to work out too. All these months of inactivity had left my body a little wasted.

Jenny smiled at that thought and said “I can picture that. She’ll have you looking butch in no time.”

“Butch? Me? I think I’m a little to slight of build to look butch.” I bristled.

“Nah you’d look cute all muscular and buff.” she teased. I know she was kidding but surprisingly she was starting to piss me off with this. I decided to just laugh it off though. Just then Paul came up from behind us and put his hand on my shoulder. (Scaring the crap out of me.)

I nearly jumped through the roof, but when I saw the big smile on his face, I couldn’t get mad. “Daddy!” I yelled. (Daddy? What’s with that?) “What brings you here at this time of day?”

“Hi princess.” He said. (Princess? Oh God! Someone help me.) “Just came to see how my girl was today.”

I scowled in mock consternation “Dad I’m a little old to be called princess ya know.”

Ignoring me he turned to Jenny and asked “Would you mind if I took over and finished Mandy’s walk with her?”

“No sir. That wouldn’t be a problem at all. Just be aware, sometimes she gets tired before she makes it all the way back. If that happens just call one of us and we’ll bring her a wheel chair.” I stuck my tongue out at her as she walked away.

Once we got back to my room I asked “Is mom with you?”

“No” he answered. “I wanted to come see you alone.” (Uh Oh!)

“Ok, so what’s up?” I inquired. (I’m not sure I want to hear this.)

“I was at your apartment the other day cleaning things out. And I ran into your landlady Priscilla, and she told me some interesting things about the night you got hurt.” (Zoinks!)
“Like what?” was all I had the saliva to ask.

He looked really upset. “She told me that Jake was at your apartment that night. While it was quiet at first, after a short while she heard the two of you yelling at each other. For the life of me I’ll never understand what you see in that good for nothing scumbag." (Don’t hold back dude, tell how you really feel. Sheesh!)

"Not too long after that she heard a loud thump and what sounded like a man scream. Then she saw someone fall by her window. She said she could have sworn it was Jake that fell (Oh shit!) but when she looked out it was you lying on the street. So it looks like he did this to you too. As if the last time wasn’t bad enough.” (Last time?)

He looked pissed! I was petrified. What should I do? It’s not like he’ll believe the truth. Before I could decide he said “I know this must be hard for you to hear, (You can say that again.) but if I ever find that little son of a bitch, I’m gonna kill him!” he growled. “I’m going to talk to the police” he continued “but I wanted to tell you first.” He looked drained.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I asked. “Is Cilla willing to tell them what she told you? What you said sounds terrible and certainly explains a lot but I can’t say I remember that night at all. So it’s not like I can confirm her story or anything.”

“Even after all this you still want to defend him?” Paul roared “First he beats you and causes you to miscarry (Whoa! Miscarriage? What miscarriage?) and then he, at very least causes you fall off of your balcony almost killing you. How can someone so smart be so friggen blind?”

I was speechless. After a minute I said very quietly, “Daddy, I’m not defending him. Christ, I don’t even remember him. I just don’t want you to go to the police and look foolish if no one can back up what you tell them.”

With tears running down his face he said, “I’m sorry princess. I didn’t mean to lay that on you like that. It’s just for a moment there you sounded so much like your old self, when it comes to him I just lost it. I’m so sorry. He reached over and hugged me fiercely.

Long moments passed before I asked “Dad, what did you mean, I had a miscarriage? When did that happen?”

He couldn’t meet my eyes. “I swore to your mother that I wouldn’t say anything until you remembered on your own.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be keeping that promise any more.” I answered icily.

He stared at the floor and continued “About six months before your fall you came home and told us that you were pregnant with Sam’s baby. (Who’s Sam?) Oh you were so happy and your mother and I were so relived that you’d finally moved on from Jake. But a month or so later Jake called you and gave you some line. So of course you went to meet with him. He wanted some money to pay someone or another and you refused.”

He had to pause for a minute before he could go on. “So he… he beat you. He beat you so bad that you miscarried the baby. You were devastated. You swore to us that day that you’d never have anything to do with that son of a bitch again. Not long after that you broke up with Sam and moved out.”

I was stunned. Flatly I said “And then I went and saw him again. I’m so sorry daddy, for everything.”

He looked miserable. “You have nothing to be sorry for. But you have to promise me that if he ever shows his face again, you’ll walk away and call either the police or me.”

“I promise,” was all I could say.

Once again he pulled me close and hugged me. “I love you so much, princess. I was so scared when you disappeared. I though we’d lost you for good.”

“It’s ok Daddy.” I tried to sooth. “I’m safe and I promise to never see Jake again. Ok? Please stop crying Dad. It’ll be okay.”

After a bit, the emotional storm passed from him. He kissed my forehead. “Are you Okay?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. I need some time to think.” I answered.

Understanding my unspoken request he said “Well, I have to get back to the office. I’ll call you later when I get home tonight, to check on you. Also your mother will be by later. If can bring yourself to not tell her about our conversation I’d appreciate it. If you feel you need to talk to her though, I’ll certainly understand.” He left without another word.

I was devastated. I had no idea that Mandy had ever been pregnant. How could I have done that to her? Is it any wonder that they wouldn’t let me in up there? For the rest of the day I stayed alone in my room with my thoughts and my guilt.