Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad trans. Bonzi
part:319.

I went on up to bed and undressed pulling on my pyjamas, a cotton shirt and shorts. I noted that my legs needed shaving again. Tom had let Kiki out but she'd been in and out quickly because it started to rain. It always makes me laugh, spaniels are dogs who love to swim and mess about in water yet they don't seem to like rain. Mind you, I don't think ducks do either. Frogs might, and so do gardeners, but who cares?

I was reading my book prior to going to sleep, when Kiki started barking again. I tried to ignore her, but she kept it up. Cats or foxes or whatever it was she could hear, I couldn't hear anything.

I put out my light and tried to sleep, she started barking again. This was too much. I pulled a jumper over my top and some trousers over my shorts and after slipping on some shoes, went downstairs to the study. It was nominally Tom's but I did use it and kept some stuff there that was too valuable to leave in the shed. I picked up one of the image intensifiers, the battery was okay and it was working. I went back upstairs with the gadget.

Once up there, I slipped out of the window onto the little veranda which overlooks part of the garden. The garden was in darkness, although there were two of these halogen lamps which come on through movement, or should do. I scanned the garden, at first I could see nothing, then I saw him hiding behind a hedge. He was giving off more infra red than the hedge so I could see a vague outline of him behind the hedge. If this were a gun he'd be dead.

I sneaked back in and then slipped back out with the cordless phone and it's head set. I called the police.

"Hello emergency, which service do you require?"

"Police."

"Hello Hampshire Constabulary, how can we help?"

"We have an intruder in our garden."

"Can you speak up madam?"

"Not really, I'm watching them with an image intensifier."

"Oh! Who are you and where are you?"

I told them, I also told them about the previous attack, with firearms. That seemed to change their minds about response time, which went from, "We're very busy at the moment," to "we'll have someone there in about fifteen minutes, please keep out of the line of fire."

Ten minutes later I heard a helicopter overhead and saw blue flashing lights coming from two directions. The helicopter picked up on the figure in the garden and shone a light on them, they tried to run off but a few minutes later a couple of burly coppers ran after and intercepted them, none too gently. Two minutes after that, they led someone away in handcuffs to a car. A senior officer knocked on the door. By now Tom was awake and up.

I offered the police tea, but they decided to take their captive away and interrogate them. I thanked them.

"Aren't you the woman with the bow?" asked the Inspector.

"I have a bow, yes."

"So you didn't use it this time?"

"You lot told me not to, to call you instead. I only did what I was told."

"Much safer luv, for all concerned. Your intruders don't get hurt and you don't get done for hurting them."

"Who have you caught?"

"Some bloke."

"Do they look like this?" I showed him the photo of Hickman.

"Who's he?"

"Martin Hickman, he has a record for stalking. He's also a mental health case, schizophrenia."

"Do you know him?"

"Not really, he turned up at the university pretending to be a woman journalist."

"Pretending to be a woman? Weird or what?"

"That I didn't have a problem with, it was that they told me they wanted to talk about the project we're running, then he said he wanted to discuss personal stuff, like my forthcoming marriage."

"What's so special about that?"

"I'm engaged to Simon Cameron, Lord Simon Cameron."

"Not the bank people?"

"Yes, them."

"Ah, so what's this project then?"

"A survey of mammals of the whole country, we're coordinating it with several other universities. Then it goes Europe wide, then the US and so on. It's a huge project."

"So I see." He looked at me, "Can I ask if you're the woman on Youtube?"

"With the dormouse? Yes, that's me."

"That is so funny, I've watched it a dozen times."

"I didn't think so."

"Erm, no I suppose not." He blushed and I stayed very controlled. The next person who asked me about that clip, would get a clip - around the lughole!

The police went and I gave Kiki a hug and some biscuits. We had a drink and an hour later went back to bed. I told Tom that I intended to visit Stella if she was well enough.

"When are you going?" he asked.

"Tomorrow, well actually, later today, when I finish."

"Okay, I'll come with you, so you can give me a lift in."

"Fine."

We went back to our beds although I couldn't sleep, not for an hour or two. I was too wound up. I awoke with the alarm, feeling as if I'd only just closed my eyes, which were prickly and sore. Breakfast was a sort of stagger through ritual of tea and cereal. I did manage to stir myself to drive us to work, but I yawned much of the journey, which set Tom off as well.

I felt too tired to go and see the vice chancellor but I did ring his office and see what the waiting time was for an appointment. I made one for next week, it was the next available, then I remembered Des was coming to film our dormice. Oh bugger!

I went instead to see the Dean, Dr Andrews. He assured me that Tom was under no threat, in fact they thought he was something of an iconic figure in the university. So why was he worried? Dr Andrews didn't know. I did suggest that if Tom was to leave, the university would be left with a failed project and lots of egg on its face.

"You could always lead it," he smiled at me.

"I doubt it, if Tom goes, I pull the plug on it, because I go too."

"Oh, that isn't very wise Cathy, your reputation would be at risk if you did."

"Do you really think that worries me? I reckon I'm quite saleable, especially to an American uni."

"Not necessarily, not without references."

"I don't think you could withold them, I'd sue."

"We'd counter petition that you were removing intellectual property of the university."

"Tough, because it isn't. You see Dr Andrews, I own my study data and methods and Tom owns his. The project is ours, although you currently get the funding, it goes with the study and you have no one to replace us at short notice, it would probably take two years to get that sorted. By which time I'd be operating from somewhere else and making sure your department went down the pan."

"Are you threatening me, Miss Watts?"

"No, not at all, I am merely predicting the future. The project is essentially Tom and me. Leave us in peace and it will bring great prestige to Portsmouth, threaten him and we walk and bring great disaster to you. I suspect it could cost you your job and perhaps the vice chancellor too. I have an appointment with him, to put him in the picture."

"I don't think that's necessary, Miss Watts."

"But surely, I have a duty to warn him of a potential impending catastrophe?"

"It isn't going to happen, Tom is not on any sort of restricted contract, he has potentially another two years to go. He has to retire at seventy, we all do. But even then he could be Professor Emeritus."

"Okay, so I think we understand each other."

"We do. Sadly, Tom was hoping you would replace him. After this discussion I don't think that would ever be possible."

"Who said I wanted the job, besides it isn't available for two years. That's a lot of water to flow under the bridge. I think maybe an Oxbridge one or even an Ivy League one." I knew perfectly well that unless you are drop dead brilliant, you need to have been at Oxford or Cambridge to get a chair there. I didn't, it was Sussex, but that would do. Nah, I don't want a chair, I'm a researcher and field biologist not a pen pusher. Besides, maybe Tom was right and my mission is bigger than Portsmouth bloody uni, or any other ivory tower. I'll have to wait and see.