Alexa Chapter 33: Planning

Getting off the plane might have been the harshest thing I have ever felt next to the rejection of my father. Going from plus 68 degrees in Palm Beach to the minus 3 degrees temperature of Minneapolis when we landed was not something that either me or Jenny were prepared for. Sure, we had our long North Face Jackets in the Delta Club locker, but the light cotton dresses and then sweaters were no match for the Minnesota winter we encountered as we made our way down the jetway. Marty just laughed at the two of us as we huddled close and complained. “Why did we ever come back?” Jenny whined as we tried to use each other for warmth.

“I say we forget school and get back on the plane” I respond.

“You two have lived here your whole lives. You know how cold it gets. Will women ever learn that warmth is more important than fashion?” Marty said to us as we quickly made our way into the terminal. Thankfully it was a short walk to our coats and that Marty had used the VIP Valet Parking service, so we were greeted with a nice warm car. Marty was still teasing the two of us as Jenny and I huddled together in the front seat. By the time we made it back to the apartment we had warmed up and gave Marty a kiss good bye and quickly made our way up to the apartment. Unfortunately, Katie wasn’t around, as we both had made comment as to how excited we were to see her. With out having her around, we began unpacking and started getting back into the everyday swing of things. But it was while unpacking, a gift from Florida was found.

“Ugh!” Jenny groaned as she opened one of the bags.

“Did something open up?” I asked as I returned to our room from hanging our dresses from the wedding in the closet.

“No!” Jenny informed me as she tossed something at me. I caught what seemed as large as the old Sears Wish Book at me. I giggled as I realized it was another bridal magazine that Mary had somehow slipped into one of our suitcases. Jenny stared at me and I tried to get myself out of the giggly mood the ‘offending’ publication had caused. Ever since the comment at the reception by Jenny’s grandmother that it was time to start planning, Mary had been relentless. For the next three days, Mary was always coming up with something that we would need to do, and she had gone as far as to start a planning file for us. “There are lots of things you have to deal with. I will try and help but you two have to be on top of these things.” I listened but Mary’s granddaughter just groaned.

“What if Lex and I just want a small wedding? What if we want to run off to Vegas and get married by Elvis?” Jenny asked her grandmother. I could see a stalemate starting. I was thinking that Mary was seeing this as some sort of social event. And while it was an event, it was an event that was to signify the love between me and Jenny. I tried to play the mediator between the two but realized no matter how hard I tried, it was an argument that would not go away soon. I began paging through the magazine and tried to calm Jenny’s nerves a bit but also get the discussion started. “You know it wouldn’t be bad if we started looking at a few things. I mean we both have looked at dresses and given Sarah some ideas of what we want, but there are more things to deal with.” I said, trying to put a good spin on things. Jenny just stared at me. “Both of you are going to drive me crazy, aren’t you?” she asked. I dropped the magazine on the bed and saddled up next to my soulmate and tried to explain that we had a lot of things going on and that it would be a good idea to start in. The petulant little girl came out of hiding and Jenny agreed.

After starting a load of laundry and rinsing out some other things, we found ourselves on the couch with the Bridal magazine in our laps. We began paging through the magazine and suddenly lot of questions came up. “Um, have we thought if we are going to have a DJ or a band?” I asked as we began going through the checklist that had been printed on one of the pages. I could see panic enter Jenny’s eyes as she continued to go through the list. “Oh god! I didn’t even think of a photographer!” I dropped the magazine at that point and realized there was a lot more to do when planning a wedding than we thought.

“We are going to need help.” I said, and Jenny nodded. Jenny started to reach for her phone, “I’m calling grandma” she said, but I reached out and stopped her. “I have a better idea” I said as I took the phone from Jenny’s hand. I placed a call, and waited for the other party to answer. Within three rings, they answered, “Katie, what time are you going to be home?” I asked before she could even say ‘hello’. When I told her the dilemma we were facing, she began to laugh. “I was wondering when you two realized when you were in over your heads. I will be done at 4 and will be right home so you two just calm down.” Jenny smiled and then let a long sigh. “Good thinking babe”, was all she said as we collapsed into each other and waited for our big sister to save the day, as always.

At nineteen minutes after four, a smug looking Katie came walking in the front door of the apartment. “I hope you two realize I now owe your brother $20. I said you would wait until February, but he said you would ask before then.” Katie informed us as she shed her coat and sat down on the couch next to us. “You know I hate when he is right.” She told us before taking control of the topic at hand. “So where are we at?” she asked, and we showed her both the checklist in the magazine and the information Mary had put together. Katie looked at it for a few minutes before announcing, “You two are so far behind according to all of this.” I now had adopted the same panic look that Jenny had earlier. Katie looked at the two of us shaking her head. “Don’t worry you two. I’m here now. We will get this taken care of.” Jenny was the first to speak.

“So, you can handle this?” she asked. Katie laughed, which did little to allay our fears.

“No, I’ve never planned a wedding before, but I think WE can handle it.” Katie said with her famous smart alek smile. I was put a little at ease, but I could see Jenny was still a bit nervous about what was starting to unfold. I pulled her into my arms and tried to tell her it would be OK. Katie came from the other side. “Jenny, we are three smart young women and we have part of this taken care of already. And some of it is just dumb. Are we concerned about a style of wedding?” Katie asked. Jenny and I looked at each realizing that we had never thought of it and with out saying anything to each other decided we didn’t need it. Before we could say anything more, Katie took control once again.

“There is one thing we have to decide before we go any farther. When are you getting married? That’s the easiest thing to figure out. Right?” And what Katie just said was correct, but a date was something we had only said in passing. That started another whole new set of problems. We also had graduation to deal with, all three of ours. I reached for my Surface that was sitting on the coffee table and logged on to the school’s website. “Graduation is May 13th.” I state and then a frown comes across my face. Jenny asked what the problem was. “We graduate at the same time” I pout. Jenny put her arm around me and tried to comfort me, though mockingly. “It’s not like we were going to be able to sit together anyway.” Katie looks on with amusement. “Are you two done so we can continue?” she asks. Instantly I felt an itch along my nose.

“Enough vulgarity, Alexa. Let’s get serious about this.” Katie states. We hemmed and hawed a bit over dates and decided that Saturday June 30th would be the date. “Good choice, now you have to send out invitations.” Another thing the two of us had not thought of and that would also require a guest list. “UGH!” Jenny exclaimed. “This is going to require a big confab with Daddy and Grandma.” I just nodded. With Jenny’s family being who they were, we needed to figure out who HAD to be invited for ‘family’ reasons. Rather than begin going over that, we began looking at invitations and find one can both agree on, which we were surprisingly able to do. I did get the one concession of having the printing in purple after some sweet talking before I was reprimanded by my sister.

“Enough of that! Now, going down this list. Do you want to start a website?” We both shake our heads and Katie continues. We have the ceremony site and reception site already figured out, The Thompson estate and we have the Wedding party figured out. That is when Jenny said something that leveled me. “I came up with another person we need involved.” I looked at her because we had not talked about anyone else. “I think we need at least one personal attendant to do some of the running around for us. To kind of be the messenger and gopher for us” I nodded but had no idea who she had in mind. “I think we should ask Ashley to be our dual personal attendant.” I was in shock as my soon to be wife sat there as proud as a peacock. “I want her to be involved, Lex. And this would be perfect.” I didn’t say or do anything. For once I was left speechless by my better half. I could see Katie approved too. “If nothing else she can help your grandma fuss over everything” Katie said.

All talk about the dresses was completely glossed over. That had already been taken care of, though we knew we had to contact the designer to discuss ideas a bit more. Katie continued reading down the list, “Research florists, choose bridal party attire. Oh, here is a good one. Establish a fitness routine!” Katie could not stop laughing. I looked at my sister with a questioning look. “What’s so funny, we have an exercise routine.” I say which gets Katie laughing even harder “I’m not talking about the two of you running around here in sports bras and yoga pants and going down and riding the ellipticals for ten minutes. You two should think about if you want to be in better shape.” Jenny and I giggled at the mention of us running around in our ‘workout gear’. It was something that had already embarrassed my brother at least once.

The wedding discussion continued through the night, except for a brief dinner break. Before we knew it, it was getting late and we decided to put the planning down for the night. And as we went to bed I kept going over the list in my head. A few things struck me as Jenny held me. How much work all of this was going to be and how much we had to do. I began questioning if we could pull it all off. Not only do we have the wedding, but we have our last semester of school. I stared to shiver a bit as it all began to hit me. But before I could even open my mouth, Jenny spoke. She kissed the top of my head. “Everything will be alright, babe. We found the perfect person to help us out and we will keep grandma informed.” I pulled back and looked at her. “How do you do that?” I asked. Jenny gave me another kiss. “Simple” she said, “I am having the same fears as you I bet. I know it will be tough to pull this off given how far behind we are and plus graduation. But we will be fine.” I snuggled in closer and drifted off to sleep. Jenny was always there to give me the confidence I seemed to lack.

The next day was going to be crazy. We both had meetings with our advisors about graduation. I took off to see Dr. Virginia Peterson. I had her for a class when I was a sophomore but other than that I really didn’t know her. Professor Grayson had to take a sabbatical, so I had been handed off to Dr. Peterson. She seemed to be a nice enough woman though a little flighty and we spent half the time talking about authors rather than my academic progress. She did say that I was set and just needed these last few classes but that I would graduate on time. As I was beginning to leave, she said something I found curious. “You are nothing like I expected.” I wasn’t sure what to say so I just sat there staring at her. “I mean, I figured I would find some over the top RuPaul type when I heard I was going to be advising you. I started to get a little worked up, and she must have noticed because she started apologizing. “I guess I never quite understood it all. Being from Utah we don’t have that many transgender people. With the Mormon Church I am enough an oddity compared to you. You seem much more ‘normal’ than an aging hippie like myself.” I put on the outward appearance of accepting her comeback, but what she said stuck with me. Are most transgender people seen as being over the top? Was I the oddity? What about my new friends in London? Were they the exception to the rule? It was something I would have to bring up with Debbie.

I beat Jenny home from her meeting with Dr. Burg and found my self alone looking at the bridal magazine. Most of it was something I never quite understood or cared about. I giggled and even blushed a bit when it came to an article about looking sexy for your husband on your honeymoon night, but mostly I looked at the dresses. It was then I really started to get concerned. I didn’t know there were so many styles of dresses. I had kind of left it up to Sarah as to what she thought might work but what I had originally said I wanted to go with I didn’t think I could pull off. I grabbed my phone and texted Sarah. I figured she would be home from class by now and that we would be able to talk a bit in private. I was rewarded with a not unusual response to my message of ‘Skype’. I quickly set up my Surface and logged on. I was greeted with the smiling face of Sarah.

“Hey girlie!” she said, “What’s up?” I began in about how I was paging through the bridal magazine that Mary had sent home with us and how I began getting nervous about some of the dresses I was seeing and whether I would be able to pull them off. I think Sarah wanted to tease me, but bless her soul she didn’t. “Alexa, just relax. I have a great resource for your dress. I have two very handy to tell the truth. And it is something I am allowing for.” Sarah’s reassuring smile helped but I was still anxious. “I am worried that when I look at these dresses that I don’t have enough, um, how do I say this. That I have enough…” I stammered. I watched a little smile come across Sarah’s face as I tried to say what was on my mind. “Your concerned you won’t have the proper décolletage?” Sarah said. My brain went to mush. “Huh?” I responded trying to catch up. A giggle came from my friend. “You’re afraid you won’t have the right enhancement to do the dress justice?” Once again, I was confused. “What?” I asked. That is when another person entered the conversation.

From out of the picture I heard “You’re afraid you won’t have the tits to pull it off?” Sarah giggled and admonished her wife. I added my two-cents. “Shut up Nikki!” and began giggling myself.

Nikki sat down next to her wife. “Why are you worried about that Alexa?” Nikki asked, and I went on to explain what I had seen in the magazine and that I didn’t think I could do it. Nikki looked at Sarah. “I will let you two talk, but you have more than enough and if you think you are going to look like a boy in the dress you are completely wrong! You will be the sexy woman you already are.”

I smiled at the advice my guide gave me. “Thanks Nikki, you helped even though you talk like a sailor.” I said. Nikki laughed at my comment “That’s why I am here, to keep it all in perspective. I’m going to let you two talk business while I go a make a new canvass for the graffiti artists. Talk latter. Say hi to Jenny.” I said good bye to my mentor and for the next 20 minutes Sarah and I discussed ideas for dresses before she had to go.

“Don’t worry Alexa. I will make sure you are the beautiful bride you have dreamed of being.” I thanked her once again for not only her help with the dress but with life in general. “That is what friends are for” she told me. We ended the call, and I sat feeling blessed that I had friends who understood my concerns and waited for Jenny to come back from here meeting,

I waited and waited. And just when I was starting to get a bit nervous, I waited some more. Finally, about 45 minutes after I expected her, Jenny came bursting through the door carrying a couple of shopping bags. “Hey babe” she said as she deposited the bags on the coffee table and gave me a kiss. I asked her what she bought, and I watched as an excitement overtook her that only appeared on certain occasions. “Well,” she started, “I thought about what Katie said about us being in shape and remembered a conversation we had in London. So, after my meeting I went and signed us up for a ballet class. And the bags are everything we need!” She reached out and gave me a big hug. I could tell she was excited and she had been on me about taking lessons. I decided that as nervous as I was about it, I would go along willingly. “So, when do we start?” I asked and was told Monday. I didn’t say anything and tried to put on a happy face, even though I was scared out of my mind. Jenny wrapped her arms around me again “Don’t worry. It’s a beginner’s class and everyone will be in the same boat so just go with it. For me, please.” I knew I couldn’t say no and just nodded.

As I moved to check out the bags, a thought hit me. “We should get Katie to go too” I mentioned to Jenny. For some reason she sat and giggled as I began going through the various tights and leotards. It was when I got to the bottom of one of the bags that I discovered the cause of Jenny’s giggling. “I thought the same thing, so I signed her up too.” I began shaking my head. “I can’t wait to tell her” I said laughingly, knowing that it would take a lot to get Katie to agree. If I had thought of myself as being an oaf, especially now, Katie was 10 times worse. She had always been the chubby girl as we grew up. She was far from that now, but that little, chubby girl mentality stayed with her at times. I had seen it on a few occasions when we were shopping, and she would say things like “I can’t wear that, I’m too fat.” Jenny and I would have to spend considerable time convincing her that she wasn’t. Our reinforcement along with being with Danny helped Katie see herself for what she had become, not what she was.

When Katie came home from her lunch shift, she spotted the bags. “Do you two ever stop shopping?” she groaned as she sat down in the chair. An excited Jenny stood up and handed a bag to Katie. “I decided that you were right, and we needed to be in better shape. Rather than workout on our own, I signed us ALL up for something.” Katie opened the bag and a momentary look of panic crossed her face.

“I can’t take dance classes” Katie said firmly and tossed the bag on the table. Jenny seemed a bit confused, but I wasn’t. I went over to my sister “Katie, don’t think like that. You are not, what did you call it. The little fat girl with glasses anymore. You are young, beautiful, sexy woman. Plus, I will be there and Jenny too. How do you think I feel? I have never had a dance class in my life! At least you have!” Katie snorted at that “Yeah, when I was eight in Mrs. DeMarco’s basement.”

“More than I have had Katie. Come on, it will be fun.” I told her. It took a little prodding, but she finally agreed, though she did tell us not to say anything to Danny yet. “I don’t want to be trying on my outfit for him.” She said with a giggle and caused Jenny and I to mock wretch at the thought of the two of them.

We spent Sunday with Marty out at the lake, since the Vikings weren’t playing this week, we spent a lot of that going over the guest list. We did include Mary via Skype for her input, but it was mostly making sure that we hit everyone the Thompsons needed to invite. When we looked at the list, we realized it was bigger than we had planned, almost 200 guests! Marty began to give us a bit of a lecture “There are certain responsibilities that you have to take on. You two are already doing some of that by going to all these fundraisers, but its not just that. When you have the name Thompson you are required to mix a bit of business with pleasure. I don’t like it all the time either, but it comes with the name.’ We nodded and decided to go through the list again to see if there was anyone that we could cut. We were able to cut a few, but not as many as we had hoped. I had invited all my aunts and uncles and a few of my cousins, but I knew that they might not show, so that would lower the number of actual attendees a bit. Marty lectured us as Jenny and I began making bets as to whether Marilyn would show. “She is still your mother Jennifer, so treat her with a bit of respect.” A defiant Jenny asked “Why? She doesn’t show either one of us respect.”

We went back to the apartment that night and began to organize ourselves for the other important thing in our life, school. I had two morning classes that I was sort of looking forward to and I had a meeting with Debbie just after lunch before my evening dance class. Jenny didn’t have a class until later that morning, so after giving her a kiss goodbye, I trudged across the frozen campus of the University of Minnesota on my way to my Senior Seminar, a class I had avoided up to now. I entered the lecture hall and immediately began scanning the assembled students looking for anyone that might prove to be an issue as the semester dragged along. Mostly it was filled with people who I had in previous classes that were OK with me, but there were a few I did not recognize. And like my Early American Literature class from last semester, I noticed a group of guys sitting there checking me out. And even though I had received plenty of coaching from Jenny and Nikki on how to deal with this I still felt uncomfortable as I took my seat next to Macy, one of the many girls who had become accepting of me and had become a friend.

The class was fine, as fine as a Senior Seminar on American Literature pre-1820 can be. It was a struggle to keep my mind at the subject at hand. The wedding wasn’t the only thing distracting me from Dr. Braylon’s lecture. The group of boys to my left were another distraction. One of the guys, a typical frat looking guy, kept starring over at me. It started to give me the chills. I whispered to Macy, who looked over to confirm I wasn’t losing my mind. “No, he is definitely checking you out Alexa. Wonder what he would do if he knew about you and Jenny?” I giggled a bit and replied, “Probably give him a heart attack” I went back to the boring talk of the influence of isolation the early American writers had and how it affected their style, but I continued to keep an eye on the group to my left.

Thankfully the Irish Literature course I had next was just down the hall, so I was not in a hurry to head out. I spoke with Dr. Braylon a bit after class before heading out in the hallway. Once again, I noticed the ‘frat’ boy sitting there. Maybe he had a class nearby like me or maybe he was waiting on someone. I didn’t try to put too much thought into it and continued down the hall. I found a seat towards the front center of Professor O’Connell’s class and began paging through my Surface at some of the required reading we were going to have to do. Joyce had never been an issue for me and I was not quite a fan of Shaw’s but could tolerate him. I was looking forward to an author I had only recently learned about, Colm Tóibín. I scanned the list and found we were going to read a few of his works and became excited. As the rest of the class filed in, I surveyed the group. Brian, the tall young man who had stood up for me last semester to that jerk Hurley sat down next to me. He had become a friend and Jenny and I had even gone out a few times with him and his girlfriend Piper. I was glad he sat down next to me, because just as class was about to start ‘Frat Boy’ walked in, staring at me just like he had during my last class.

“God, him again!” I said as I looked at the leering young man. “Who? Him?” Brian said as he looked over at the guy. “He’s harmless. His name is Noah Wisniewski or something like that. Soccer player from Stillwater. Used to be a soccer player, now a professional lush.” Brian said with a laugh. “He is in my Senior Sem and kept staring at me the whole lecture. Kind of gave me the creeps.” I told Brian, who attempted to reassure me, “Ah, don’t worry about him. He’s nothing.” I tried to take my friend’s advice to heart but still felt like something more was going on. I tried to settle in as the lecture began, but as it ended I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I gathered my things quickly and headed out, so I could grab a quick bite before heading over to see Dr. Burke. The whole time, Noah kept looking at me. I was freaked out by it. I tried to tell myself that it was just my imagination, but it didn’t help. I said good bye to Brian and told him to have Piper give us a call. I quickly made my way back to the apartment, but it felt like I was being followed the whole time, but no one was there.

I was able to stop thinking about ‘creeper’ before I sat down for my weekly session with Debbie. While I had come a long way in the last year, there will still concerns I had as I moved forward, and Debbie was always there to talk to me about them. She asked about the wedding and how everything had gone. I told her about the issues that I faced with Monica and how she had been so belittling of me. “But the crazy part was Julie, Monica’s best and oldest friend in the world, stuck up for me. Called me part of the family.” Debbie let a little smile sneak out as she asked me how that made me feel. “I was in shock! I mean I am just weirdo who is dating her cousin...” That was when the little smile changed. “You are not some ‘weirdo’ as you called it. Alexa! You are a young WOMAN trying to find their place in this world. I really wish you would stop using that phrase.” I apologized instantly.

“I’m sorry Deb. I really didn’t mean it that way. I meant it more in the sense that I don’t deserve Jenny way, not that way. I really have gotten better about that. I do see myself as a woman more than something else.” Debbie nodded at that and asked me to go on about the wedding. I went on about how after the whole Monica debacle, Jenny and I had bonded even more. Debbie joked, “Is that possible?” I tried to ignore her as I explained to her how Mary had once again figured out there was something going on. How Mary had looked after me like one of her own.

“You basically are one of her grandchildren, Alexa. Mary loves you like one of her very own. I have seen it the few times I have been around the two of you. And I think the jokes that Marty makes about the two of you being more important them him may be true.” Debbie then asked me to explain what else had occurred, outside of the Monica incidents. I began to explain to her how accepting everyone was. I told her about Jason and Jon and the volleyball match. I even told Debbie the teasing Jenny and I had received by all the cousins about the sleeping arrangements. Debbie laughed at that, and then I got tripped up by Debbie’s questioning.

“So how was it with Jenny’s Uncle Rob?” she asked. I felt myself hesitate and I must have put off some look of uncomfortableness, because Debbie pounced on it right away. “What happened between you and Rob?” She asked a little more directly. I fidgeted for a moment. I began trying to answer her, but it wasn’t the best “Oh he was fine. Very nice” I tried to say offhanded, but Debbie would have none of my answer and pressed on. I finally gave up. I told her how the ‘odd feelings’ began when he helped me up to play volleyball and then again when we hugged after we won. “It was weird. It was like I was getting, um, excited by the whole thing.” I said, and Debbie asked if there were any other instances. I took a deep breath and explained the putting lesson that Rob had given me and how I had acted like a school girl hugging Rob and kissing him on the cheek. “The worst part was that Mary busted me, I just didn’t know it at the time.” I then explained the lonely feelings I experienced as Jenny was running around for the wedding. “Mary found me sulking and I lost it. She must have laid me down. I woke up and went out to the living room to hear Mary lecturing Jenny. When Jenny ran to me and took me in her arms, all those feelings I had for Rob disappeared, but I do wonder what was going on.”

Debbie sat back for a moment. I could see that she was taking in all of what I had said. I sat there nervously waiting for what she was going to say. After just a few seconds, I saw some resolve come to my counselor. She looked at me and began in. “Alexa there are a couple of things going on. One, you were feeling lonely because Jenny wasn’t around. That is easily explainable. Subconsciously, you wound up reaching out to some one who could show you some caring, and I don’t mean Mary or Marty. They are family, but Rob was not. When Jenny and you embraced after Mary’s lecture, it disappeared, you were cared for again. You were safe.” I nodded because that made sense. “But what about the feelings I had when Rob touched me?” I asked.

“That is the tricky part Alexa. Please hear me out, it may seem a little foreign to you, but you will have to understand this is somewhat normal.” Debbie paused and looked as if she was gearing up to tell me I had cancer or something. She started in “for the last eight-nine months, your body chemistry has changed. You have taken away all the testosterone that made you Alex and began replacing it with estrogen. As I said back when you began there could be some, I do not want to use the term side effects, but things could change. Your brain has had to re-learn with a whole new chemical makeup. Sometimes the brain can trigger reactions you did not think possible. Being emotional at certain times is one of those things, but here are other reactions.” I started to get a bit panicked as Debbie was saying this, and I could see her tone had become much more friendly than clinical. But I could also see she was trying to figure out a way to put it to me so I could comprehend it. She seemed to be stalling a bit as she looked for those words and then it hit her. It was like the proverbial light bulb came on.

“Alexa, when you and Jenny were first dating. Where there any girls that got you, shall we say excited. Like an actress or a supermodel or something like that?” I nodded as I thought back to a time where it still seemed surreal that Jenny and I were dating. “It’s like that Alexa. You would see an actress like, I don’t know, Julia Roberts, and feel a little something for her?” I think I knew where she was going, and yes, I still noticed other women, but none of them really did anything for me. And guys never had me curious. She did make a good point, but I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Julia Roberts? Really?” I asked. I was told to shut up, with a smile.

Debbie asked if I had any more situations with men that were causing the feelings like Rob did and I told no, but I did explain the feelings I had about “frat boy’. She was very calm about it “We went over this at the beginning of the school year, you are an attractive young woman. Young men are going to be interested. I think that you just happened to notice this boy today, that is all. You did say you had back to back classes with him, so he was around you for a long time. Besides, your feelings for Jenny have not changed, have they?” I think the smile on my face said it all.

We talked a little bit about Debbie’s trip back home. “I do miss London. A lot warmer than here. But it is also good to be back here. Mum loved the dinner at Smith & Wollensky and my sister’s new boyfriend is a nice enough young man, except for one thing.” Debbie said with an evil little grin. I urged her to tell me, “He is a ManU supporter.” I had to get my comment in, “Tell your sister to dump him” I said with a giggle. We went on to talk a bit more about both of our respective holidays and even told her about the brief progress I had made with Adam, which seemed to please her. “It will take time, but it seems like he is coming around. Do you think anyone has been telling him he should start seeing you in a different light?” I told her I couldn’t but that I was happy there was a start.

I left Debbie’s office feeling much better about some of the things I had been experiencing. “There will be new feelings every day Alexa. I will always be here to answer questions, but you have so many more people that are willing to help you. Don’t let it go unused. You have Beverly’s daughter and her wife who have been down this path. You have Katie who will do anything for you. You even have Danny to help, but you know who the most important person who is there to help?” I nodded and said the one name that mattered the most. “Jenny”

I raced home to get changed so the three of us could head off to our first ballet class. I entered the apartment and heard Katie questioning Jenny on the color choices of our dance wear. “A black leo and pink tights? Really?” Jenny nodded.

“That’s what Sarah told me to get. She says that what they wear.” Katie resigned herself to the choice. Jenny then spotted me, and a bit of a wicked smile came across. “Come on babe, time to get ready.” I followed Jenny nervously into our room to change, but those nerves were nothing compared to how I felt as I stood with Jenny, Katie and 7 other women before our instructor.

“I am Madame Larisa Lebedev” the 40ish woman said with a Russian accent. “Welcome to my studio. Over the next several weeks you will learn the basics of ballet. There will be no prima donna moments in this class. This is a beginner’s class. You will learn the proper fundamentals of ballet. You will listen to my instruction. You must earn my approval before you may advance at this school.” The harshness of the woman scared me a bit as well as my two roommates. The three of us exchanged nervous looks as our new teacher paced in front of us. “I do not care if you may have had instruction prior to this. You will be starting as the beginning, just as a small child would. Now everyone spread out and we will begin.” The group spread out and Madame Lebedev began instructing us in the positions.

The class was tough, and Larisa was a perfectionist. The words of “Nyet, nyet, nyet” was one of the most heard things as she repeated the steps for us to follow. Madame Lebedev was a task master, she was clearly in charge and there would be no questioning it. When a pair of women only a few years older than us joked about the “czarina”, Larisa lost it. “How dare you question my authority! Leave now!” she screamed at the pair. The pair looked at each other in a bit of shock. They indicated to our teacher that they took this class for fun, not to be berated and made a bit of a scene as the left. Larisa did not even comment on the pair as she continued the instruction. As the session ended, and we were dismissed, Larissa called for me to come over. “You. I want to speak with you.” I looked at Jenny and Katie nervously as I starred at Madame Lebedev. Jenny gripped my hand as I passed her, and I went to the front of the studio.

I stood in front of my instructor as the rest of the class filed out. As soon as everyone was gone a different side of Larisa came out. A warm, welcoming smile spread across her face. “You are the one I saw on television last year, da?” I was too shocked to say anything, so I just nodded. “Do not worry. I want to help you learn. I can understand that you face some difficulties. I will be tough but do not take it personally.” She told me. I was still too stunned to say anything other than a quiet thank you. “Have you participated in anything like dance or maybe a sport where it is not all muscle and brute strength that you rely on?” I told her I had played hockey when I was younger. That seemed to please the Russian woman, because a small smile crept across her face. “Very good. You have learned something more than brute strength. In the old Soviet Union, many hockey players took dance lessons to help with balance.” I lit up a bit as she said this. “give it time my friend, don’t push to want to see results. You will realize that we are training your body to move in a new way, a way the will add grace to your strength. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. But be patient.”

Larisa gave me a comforting smile. As much of a task master as she had seemed in class, she seemed even more caring towards me and what I was going to experience. She then thanked me for staying back and wished me a good night and moved off. I went and collected my things and moved off to the lobby to join up with Jenny and Katie. The pair practically attacked me as the debrief of my conversation began. Jenny cuddled right up to me with a concerned look on her face while a similar looked came across Katie’s.

“What did she say? Is everything OK?” my fiancée asked. I nodded my head as I felt the fog of confusion slowly dissipated.

“Um, Yeah.” I replied. ‘She said she recognized me and that she wanted to help me learn.” I saw a look of relief come across Katie’s face as Jenny hugged me a little tighter and giggled. She again asked me how I do it and I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I think it is all the support you give me that makes me this way” Jenny gave me an ‘aww’ and we shared a deep, loving kiss. Katie’s reaction to this was much different.

“God, you two. Here?” Katie groaned. “Come on Alexa. Get dressed and let’s go. I have some reading I need to do.” Jenny and I shared another giggle and I followed Katie’s orders and donned the skirt I had worn and slipped on my long coat. We headed out to Jenny’s car and made our way back to the apartment. Katie disappeared into her room to do the reading while Jenny and I showered and changed.

Jenny and I spent the night addressing the wedding invitations that had finally arrived. Jenny had once taken a calligraphy class, so she wanted to do the invitations by hand. I tried to tell her we could set up a font on the printer and it would be much easier. “I have learned how to do this, and I want to use it.” I held up my hands in defeat. “Fine. Go ahead.” I said. Jenny got excited as I sat back as I knew what was going to happen. She came back to the table carrying a beautifully carved wooden box. She opened it and produced a gold tipped fountain pen and a small bottle of what I assumed was ink. She unfolded a writing surface that she took from the box. She got everything set up and asked for an envelope. I handed one over. Jenny positioned it just right and asked for the first name, and not knowing what to expect I gave her Barb’s. I was surprised as she began to address it, it was neat and no issues. It was as she went to write the address that the fun began. I don’t know if she pressed too hard or the reservoir gave way but there was ink everywhere. I couldn’t help myself.

“Ahh!” Jenny called out, before giving me a death glare. “And it is not funny!”

“Yes, it is.” I told her as she began to pout a bit. I moved off my chair and cuddled up to her. “How about we just do the special ones and then print off the rest?” I realized I was about to cause a fight. I used all my skills to kiss up to her. Soon I was forgiven, and she reluctantly agreed. We finally got all the invitations complete and ready to be sent out. I tried to ask if she was glad we went to the printer option, but she still said no. “I wanted this to be personal.” Sometimes she could be so stubborn, but I kept my mouth shut.

The week following was routine, except for ‘Frat Boy’. I thankfully did not have him in either of my other classes, but he was always around. It seemed like everywhere I turned, Noah was there. It was becoming creepy. I would walk across campus and he would be there. Tuesday night I went to the Wilson Library on the West Bank, and there he was again! I wanted to shake it off as coincidence or the fact that this was the main library for the English department, but I couldn’t. When I went back out to my car that night I moved quickly and made sure the doors were locked. I broke a few traffic laws on my way back across the river. I was finally able to calm down a bit when I was in the safety of our underground parking garage. I composed myself because I didn’t want Jenny to know about the boy I felt was becoming my stalker.

The next day at my Senior Sem, I tried to talk to Macy about it. When I walked into the lecture hall, Macy had a bit of a smart alek grin on her face. “I see your boyfriend is here” she said to me.

“Ugh!” I groaned as I dropped myself in the seat next to her. “I swear he is always there! I have him in my Irish Lit class, right after this, so he is hanging around the building the whole time. I’ve seen him around campus a few times since then and he was even at Wilson when I went there last night! I feel like the guy is following me.” Macy just laughed at me.

“You are just being paranoid. He was probably around before, you just didn’t notice him. Don’t worry about it. He is a dumb, drunk frat boy.” Macy told me.

“I know! That’s what scares me.” I replied. I tried to get Noah out of my mind as I sat there through my Senior Sem, but here he was again after class and then again in my Irish Lit lecture. Brian could see that I was a bit unnerved and saw Noah staring over at me. He shot him a look and a scared Noah turned away from me. But Brian wasn’t going to be around forever, and after class I was walking across campus with the feeling of somebody following me. Sure, I was going to Coffman Student Union to meet up with Jenny and Katie for lunch. It was one of the most popular location on campus. It would be natural for him to headed to the same location. I tried to linger a bit in the hopes that he would pass me which he did. As soon as he had traveled a fair distance ahead of me I continued at my normal pace to Coffman.

I reached the doors of the impressive student union building and a door was held open for me. There he was again! Holding the door open for me! “Hi, I’m Noah” he said as I passed. I mumbled a hello as I passed him, saying I was Alexa and trying to move past him. I made my way to the escalator down to the food court. I looked back up as I went down the moving staircase and there he was staring at me, again! I could see a very pleasant smile on his face. Very different from the ones that he seemed to have in class, but still a bit unnerving to me. I found my two roommates seated at a table and plopped my book bag down.

“What’s the matter, babe?” Jenny asked as I bent over and gave her a kiss. I told her nothing and moved off to grab a salad and bottle water before coming back and joining Jenny and Katie. The conversation over lunch was typical banter about nothing, classes, the wedding my boneheaded brother, but it was fun. It was unusual for us to meet here so some of the sights were interesting. It was fun to sit back and watch the various people as they made their way around the crowded dining room. You had everyone from undergrads, to graduate students to professors to High School seniors with one or both of their parents, checking out the campus. We of course laughed and joked about everyone. I saw ‘Frat Boy’ sitting off to one corner of the large dinning room and busted him many times looking over at the table. Katie spotted him and made comment.

“Check it out! There is one of the drunken Greek Boys checking out the unavailable Miss Thompson.” Katie joked for all of us. Jenny joined in on the joking, while I tried to keep a poker face at who he was really looking over at.

“I don’t think it is me he is checking out. I think he is checking out the pretty little brunette next to me.” Jenny said. She squeezed my hand and flashed me a smile. “Well, he can’t have her she is all mine!” Jenny finished off before leaning over and giving me a deep kiss. As we broke, I saw Noah get a little grin on his face and then look away. I wanted to tell Jenny what was going on with him, but before I could she looked at her phone and quickly stood up. “Shoot! I’m late for my Psych group.” She gave me a quick kiss before heading off and saying she would see us back at the apartment, leaving Katie and I sitting there alone in a unique silence for us. I watched Katie’s eyes follow Jenny up the escalator. I turned and waved at Jenny and smiled. Katie looked over towards Noah and then back at me.

“What the hell is going on Alexa?” Katie asked me. I acted like I had no idea what she was talking about, telling her I was fine. “Don’t give me that crap. I have known you too long. Jenny didn’t pick up on it but I sure as hell did. Soon as we started joking about the guy over there you clamed up. Jenny is too much in love sometimes to see you go down a hole. Not me though. I have seen it for years. So, what is the deal with him?” I knew I was cooked, Katie could tell that Noah’s presence had me on edge. I took a deep breath before I laid it all out on the table for Katie.

“His name is Noah Wisniewski. He is junior English major and I have him a couple of classes, back to back. He is always staring at me like I am a piece of meat. It has put me into an almost paranoid state. I feel like he is everywhere. I went to the library last night and he was there. I come to meet you guys and there he is. I understand that they are all places he would be but still.” I was almost pleading with Katie to do something as I relayed all this. Katie sat there for a moment and didn’t say anything. She finally spoke with a question.

“Have you said anything to Jenny?” I told her no and asked her if I should. “Of course, you should. I don’t think you have anything to worry about yet. He is just checking you out a lot. But if it gets too much, you tell us. I am not saying he is harmless, I just think you are noticing him.” I nodded at Katie’s advice. “Listen, all women have to put up with some form of harassment. Remember Blake Peters? That kid who moved away after 10th grade? Remember how he would leave notes in my locker? That freaked me out. That was a form of harassment too. This guy is just a little more obvious in his freakiness. Just watch yourself. What’s the line cops use? Check your six.”

Katie got real quiet at that point. This was not normal for her. Katie looked up at me with a look I had never seen. It was a scared look. In a voice barely above a whisper she said, “He cornered me once.” I was in shock “What?” I asked urgently. Katie picked at the remains of salad and looked down. “It was at a football game. You were on the bench. He got me trapped under the bleachers and tried to make a move. I have never been so scared in my life. He had this look. I can’t explain it. It was almost evil. I didn’t know what to do, but then gun went off t halftime and people started coming out of the stands and he ran off.”

I sat there in shock. At first, I didn’t know what to say. In a hushed tone I asked why she had never told me. Katie continued to look down at the table. “I was embarrassed. I thought I had given him some sort of signals.” But then Katie looked up. Anger filled her eyes as the connected with mine. “And I don’t want that to happen to you. Keep an eye on him if you feel uncomfortable around him and don’t give him the chance to get you alone.” I nodded at what Katie had just said, I reached out and hugged her, but she said it was in the past and not to worry. Katie wiped a small tear from her eye “Let’s get out of here” she declared.

As we were getting up from the table to leave, Katie announced she wanted to test something. I could see that out of the corner of her eye she was watching my ‘friend’. When he turned to check me out, I saw Katie give him the death stare that I was all too familiar with. I saw Noah instantly look back down like he just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Katie turned to me as we deposited our trays. “He’s definitely hot for you. So, keep an eye out for him.” Katie told me before a smile came across her face “You little tease.” The taunting by my sister helped relax me, and her, a bit. But I also knew I needed to tell Jenny. I wondered how she would take it.

Rather than the elaborate way I had acted back in the fall over how I felt about guys making comments over me, I decided to be nonchalant. This time after Jenny was home and situated, I told her we had to talk. A bit of a worried look came across her face. “It’s not you or anything you have done. And it’s not me or anything I have done.” I told my partner. A look of relief came across her face for a moment before I told her what was going on. I asked her if she remembered the guy at lunch she and Katie were teasing me about. She nodded and a bit as a wicked smile crept across her face. “I think he is stalking me.” I told her. The evil smile instantly turned into a menacing scowl.

“That loser is perving out on you?” Jenny asked as I watched her anger build a bit. “That’s just wrong! You don’t go stalking women like that!” Jenny soon was out of her chair and I couldn’t help but giggle at her actions. She was storming around the apartment and I could only think that this is how she reacted in the waiting room after my accident. The growl that asked me “What?” that came from the beautiful blonde really got me going. I couldn’t stop laughing. I was able to pull myself together enough to ask Jenny if this was the way she acted in the ER. She stopped and stared at me with anger in her eyes. And for a moment I was scared I did something wrong. I watched as her demeanor changed from anger to concern. She rushed me and grabbed me.

“I am so sorry babe, are you OK?” she asked as she wrapped me in a tight hug. I was still giggling a bit as the love of my life tried to squeeze said life right out of me. I told her I was fine. She pulled me up and led the two of us to the couch. Jenny began in on the questioning. “Did he try anything Lex? Has he made any contact?” she asked, and I went on to explain the events of the last few days. She then let go the grip and looked me straight in the eye. “Please be careful. If he even shakes your hand, back away. Watch your back. Make sure your phone is ready.” She said, and she got up and grabbed her purse. She reached in and found a small canister and handed it to me. “Take this.” She said. When I asked her why, she said something that melted my heart. “Because I don’t know what I would do with out you Alexa Marie” a tear started to form at the corner of her eye as she reached for me again. I know that a tear was forming in my eye.

The week ended, and we were getting a little anxious. Since the Vikings were playing New Orleans in the playoffs on Sunday, we decided we would blow off a little steam on Friday night. We wanted to be clear of head for the playoff game, so it Friday was going to be party night. Katie had the night off, so we got her boyfriend to come up and the four of us went to the Gopher-Michigan hockey game. Brian and Piper decided to come along too. We invited the couple over to our apartment for dinner and a little pre-game lubrication. Danny had met Brian a few times and the two seemed to get a long OK, so it did not make for an awkward time, until we decided it was time to walk over to Mariucci. The four of us girls were a little giggly from the drink. We were a bit loud as we made our way down 4th Street, but we were young and having fun. The poor play of the Gophers didn’t affect our mood and we wanted to continue our revelry. Brian said he knew of a party and it was decided we should go. I could see Danny was a bit nervous about this. He had been to a few parties on campus and tended to be older than everyone at them. Plus, the people at these parties were not the type he usually hung out with. Everyone pleaded with him to go. However, I took it a bit farther. I wrapped my arms around my brother’s neck and told him to ‘lighten up it’s the weekend!” This did not sit well with Daniel Timothy Quinn.

“Oh, settle down! And get off me! Why do you feel the need to hug me when you are drunk?” He said. He may have been annoyed by me, but my response shut him up quickly.

“Because you are the best brother in the world! And besides you love when I hang one you like this.” Jenny, Katie and Piper couldn’t stop laughing as Danny tried to be mad at me, but knew he couldn’t. He instead whipped me around, gave me a hug and then dropped me back next to Jenny.

“Hang on her for a while and leave me alone.” He said. The smile on his face belayed the tone of his voice. I did what Danny asked and Brian led us down University Avenue to one of the many frat houses that lined the street. As we neared the house, the sounds of music and laughter were easily heard. One of the fraternity guys was acting as the bouncer and knew who Brian was. The guy took one look at my brother and decided we were cool. We waked through the house and found the beer and got ourselves a glass. Danny looked around and shook his head. “Bunch of rich college boys” he mumbled as he took a sip from his glass. We had lost Brian and Piper somewhere along the way and Katie saw some classmates of hers and decided to introduce Danny to her friends. That left Jenny and I at the bar. We sat and giggled and talked to a few of the people we knew. As I was talking to Meghan from one of my classes, Jenny took off. Meghan’s boyfriend came up and spirited her away leaving me alone at the bar, though I wasn’t alone for long.

As I sat there checking out the crowd, I sensed someone take the stool next to me. I assumed that it was Jenny. A smile grew across my face and I turned to say something to her, only to be greeted by the face of my stalker “Hi” he said, which I returned as curtly as I could. “I’m Noah. I didn’t think I would see you here tonight.” he said as he tried to move closer to me. “When you walked into class the other day, it was like a lightning bolt. You beautiful, do you know that? I have been dying to ask you out since I saw you in class. How about we go out on the porch and talk a bit?” he said. The smarminess dripped off him. Before I could even tell him to go play in traffic, I heard him scream out “Hey” in a moment of surprise. I turned to see this little freak being confronted.

“What do you think you are doing?” Jenny practically growled at Noah, who instantly began sliding of his barstool.

“Ah, um, nothing. I was just trying to see if Alexa wanted to go out and chat on the porch.” Noah said trying to back away from an obviously jealous blonde girl. I could see Danny and Katie returning to the bar as Jenny launched into a tirade.

“You know it is just creepy following someone around. Especially someone who is engaged!” Noah mumbled something that he didn’t know that I was engaged. People started watching Jenny go after Noah. “You should stalk any woman like you have Alexa! I think its best if you just stay away from MY FIANCEE or there will be some serious consequences Creeper!” Jenny screamed at the frat boy. Noah quickly exited the room and the partiers went back to the enjoyment of their night. Jenny turned and faced me, and I could see her expression change from the jealous lover to the caring lover I always saw her as. Before we could embrace, Danny broke in and high fived my better half.

‘Way to go Jenny!” Danny exclaimed. ‘I didn’t know you had it in you, future sis!” Jenny laughed and took me in her arms.

“No one is steeling this girl from me” she announced before she planted a kiss on me. As we broke the kiss Jenny looked deep in my eyes and whispered “ever”, a thought which I readily agreed to before we hugged one more time and went back to celebrating Friday night. And while the night went on and we laughed and talked to people, I realized that this what I wanted out of life. Fun with my friends and family, but most of all Jenny, to hold and laugh. Forever.