The Resolution

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The Resolution
a sequel one year after
The Arrangement



by Andrea Lena DiMaggio


Come see, close your eyes
Come see, give me your sorrow
And I keep watch for you
Until the dawn is breaking through
Until the morning wakens you



New Year’s Eve Day….

“You mind?” The young man smiled at his lover as he pointed to the bottles of cologne sitting almost merrily in yuletide display on the spinet.

“No…just pick one? If you grab the Fierce, I’ll use the Irish Tweed, so we don’t get lost in each other?” The young man nodded in agreement before replying.

“Scent-wise? I mean don’t you want to? You know? Get lost?” He laughed and dodged a balled up towel thrown his way.

“Of course!” He patted the spot on the sofa next to him. In a few moments, they practically fell into each other as the strains of Auld Lang Syne played for the umpteenth time from the radio off to their right. Two guys bringing in the New Year in another permutation of their recent joining in a way.

“Do you mind if we don’t change right away? I really wanted to enjoy you this way before the party tonight.” Jason brushed a few stray hairs from Danny’s face and kissed his eyebrows playfully.

“I never was good with resolutions, but I think after a few months, I really like me and you” Jason kidded. It was always ‘them’ no matter how they presented. But lately the two seemed to want to move into a new phase. Jason loved their play time, so to speak, but in a place of freedom he had never enjoyed, he felt safe enough to embrace his other self…. The soft was always a part of both him and his ‘twin,’ but being around his lover seemed to restore Carol in a way. So Jason was there in every way but the one that would always be out of reach. Having Danny to love Jason let Jason love himself…herself, actually, if they even needed to make that distinction.

“I really love ‘us,” Danny said as he drew his lover…. Who was the wife today? There never really was any husband or wife per se.. Just two women who enjoyed whatever manner the other presented on any given day. Denim? Silk? Pants? ‘Slacks?’ Some days it was nothing at all with both playing hide and seek by streaking through the house after the maid had left for the day.

“Tonight? As long as I’m Mrs. Benoit,” Danny said. She sighed as she looked down at herself. A lack that was relieved up top allowed her to accept who she was, but the addition below was simply just not what would fulfill that lack she felt about herself. And lately Jason had come to nearly the same conclusion. That he wanted him and Carol to bear a child. Too late to see that come to pass? No, since the ‘three or four of them’ could still adopt. Even so, the house seemed to be decidedly feminine, with even Jason wearing less gender specific garb. He was confident; more so than ever before, but still feeling disappointed that his selves still struggled to encourage Danny.

“You are my mate. Soul? Surely. Spirit? Definitely? Body?.....” Jason paused as Danny began to weep.

“I know it will be okay no matter what you decide, but I really believe….Heart and soul, that it means the world to you, even if you came to that place only since we wed. And I love you for it.” Jason seemed to turn to himself in a silent dialogue. A moment later, Carol emerged and put her hand on Danny’s back, rubbing her neck softly.

“I love my sweet Daniella. I do like Danny once and a while. Jason really gets along with you both,” she said with a soft laugh. Distinctions were just things said – words bantered back and forth to help communicate, but there were just two humans in the house. Both women in most ways. Both men in some ways as well. But from then on?

“Go to your room and get ready for tonight? I don’t want to see you until our guests arrive, okay?” It seemed both Jason and Carol were melding together lately, but would there be a distinction that would define all of them? Carol urged Danny off the couch with a soft push on the small of the back. She put the palm of her hand under her lips and blew a playful kiss.

“Whatever you wear will be wonderful,” Jason said through Carol. Again, distinctions to help communicate the moment. No disassociation, but just personae, so to speak. The ‘two’ waved as Danny disappeared through the door.


The bed was covered with two neat piles of clothing. Danny stared at the white silk jacket and pants and sighed. Maybe she wanted a husband after all? He put his hand to his face and wept. Two grooms? It was almost too much to bear, no matter what the had discussed and agreed upon, he had come to that place to where some arrive late after taking similar circuitous paths that stop ‘just short.’ Danny wanted to be the best mate he could be, but was afraid that would mean being ‘him.” But Danny loved Carol too much to deny Jason his dream.

He looked at the bridal gown and began to weep. A moment later he heard a voice call from the other side of the bedroom door.

“Close your eyes, my sweet girl,” Jason spoke softly.

“I will enter. I know I said I didn’t want to see you until this evening, but it occurred to me?” Jason’s voice broke.

“It occurred to me that you didn’t want to see you. I will sit on the divan in the corner while you get dressed. Don’t turn around until you’re finished. Only one condition….One requirement here on in? You will be my bride. We can play, but at the end of the day, you’re my wife. Not my assistant. Not my helper. Not my husband. My wife. And no more expectations. No more agreements. My resolution is that I vow to love you, Daniella. Daniel can be happy finally that you’ll be you. And that you are my bride.” Jason’s words might have seemed abrupt but for the hesitations mixed with soft, loving sobs.

Daniella went to turn but shook her head in apology. She would do exactly as she was instructed because that was exactly what she had always dreamed of, regardless of the lies she told herself and the excuses she had made and the denial she had expressed. In submitting in a way, she had finally become free. She took several minutes to prepare, but that preparation barely prepared her as she turned toward Jason upon finishing.

“Oh….” Was all she could manage before she dissolved in confused if entirely wonderful tears…


12:07am, New Year's Day

The last of the guests had departed and the two had settled into a post-celebratory ease. Entwined would likely be considered a great understatement. They kissed and kissed some more.

“Am I your bride?” Carol whispered between kisses.

“If you want to?” Daniella gasped and held back a sob that sought release.

“Jason says fine by him.” Carol said; her tone was an odd if necessary mixture between playful and serious, since they shared rather than competed as one person. Daniella echoed.

“Am I yours? Am I your bride?”

“Always and forever.” Carol said in an almost Jason-like tone. More cooing and kissing before Carol spoke; her eyes lit up in near surprising glee.”

“Fiona called from the agency. I suppose we can both do daddy stuff, but I think I’m correct in assuming you want to be a Mommy as much as I do?” Carol smiled and laughed softly at the tender expression on Daniella’s face; followed quickly by a torrent of tears between them that wet the pillows below. After more contented cooing eased the weeping gently to the side, the two gazed at each other and spoke; almost a moment of destiny as their voiced entwined as much as their bodies when the said at last; mezzo and alto combined,

“I love you.”

rivercity8.jpg
Dreams are more precious than gold
Dreams are more precious than gold
Dreams are more precious than gold

 

Beaucoup d'amour et de vœux pour une nouvelle année bénie de Carol (et Jason) et Daniella Benoit-Romine

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/71946/arrangement

Dreams Are More Precious
Songwriters: Eithne Ni Bhraonain / Nicky Ryan / Roma Rya
as performed by Eithne Ni Bhraonain (Enya)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5Np34xbeD4 (link is external)

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Comments

I've never been very good at

I've never been very good at New Year's resolutions other than the promise to see the next one so I might be 'bad' yet again. Oh... Yea... It's commonly pronounced Brennan. But then again, I won't get into Ap Lake or Fheaghraill. A wonderful little tale for the impending New Year. Bealtaine ár táblaí a bheannaigh.

Who Else But a...

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrat

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A Very Good Year

joannebarbarella's picture

And a lovely ending/beginning.

Sooo...

I can't believe I read this twice and forgot to comment!!! Derp!!! I love this little tale!!!

Dah...

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrat

Oh yea... Before I forget again...

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Two humans

Emma Anne Tate's picture

“Distinctions were just things said – words bantered back and forth to help communicate, but there were just two humans in the house.”

Yes!

‘Drea, this is a beautiful dream. A world where we are free to express ourselves in ways that are masculine or feminine, as the mood strikes us, without society having a collective freak-out. Wouldn’t it be loverly?

Emma

Always and Forever

Dee Sylvan's picture

I am looking forward to my very first NY Eve celebration in a few days, Drea. I can only hope that there is a Carol/Jason somewhere out there, over the rainbow pour moi. Thank you for this lovely follow up Drea. :DD

DeeDee