Easy As Reading The Karma Sutra.
by: Bonzi (Angharad too embarrassed).
part 23 dozen.

I awoke long after Simon had left for work, it amazed me how he seemed able to get to work no matter how much sleep he got. I needed at least six hours or I was rubbish. I had had ten hours and awoke with a bladder telling me things urgent. I just made it before making a mess. God, I was sore and decided a warm bath would be in order. However, to make it really therapeutic, I went and made myself a cuppa.

By the time I came back with my tea, the bath was half full and at pretty well the right temperature. I poured in a little antiseptic to the water and swooshed it around. Then I got in, after putting my tea where I could reach it easily.

I was so sore down below, but the bath did ease things and I slooshed water against myself several times. I hadn't bled a lot but my lack of dilation and Simon's enthusiasm, plus Stella's knee, all added to the bruising I was sure was developing. I made a mental note to use some Arnica when I got out of the bath.

As I sipped my tea I pondered on last night. What had made Simon revoke his pledge to marry a virgin? A sudden thought sailed through my mind, that he still wants to, but it is no longer me? I decided we needed to talk.

Last night's disaster was as much my fault as his, I was up for it perhaps I should rephrase that, he was certainly up for it! I was in for...., maybe I'll just say, I was as interested as he was except we forgot the lube and the second time around, it wasn't so interesting for one of us. I hope it isn't going to hurt like that every time, or he's going to need a concubine, because I'm afraid the negative feedback will seriously damage my libido.

I finished my tea and patted myself dry, God it was sore. Maybe I could join a convent somewhere. I wore an old skirt with the softest, oldest knickers I could find and the softest panty pad I could find too. Walking was not much fun but neither was sitting. I called myself a 'wimp' but it really was very tender. I decided I probably wouldn't go a bike ride tonight.

After fiddling about and suffering, I called Mr O'Rourke's secretary and asked her to ask him to call me back. After I thought about it, I was pleasantly surprised when he did, because I didn't really expect him to.

He asked me to be at his clinic at three that afternoon. I was pleased that I has bathed. I'd had no breakfast and lunch didn't seem terribly inviting, so I simply drank some more tea. I'd taken the Arnica and used a cream on my you know what. It was a tiny bit easier, but I was still vowing celibacy for the future unless I could get an epidural before sex every time!

Two o'clock came and I set off for the hospital, stopping to buy a Guardian on the way to read in the waiting room. Fuel was getting rather expensive and once I got better and could ride a bike to uni again, I was going to.

I parked up and paid my dues, another rip off. I booked in at the clinic and went off to read my paper. I kept yawning and could quite happily have nodded off if I could have found a comfortable seat, these were anything but.

Eventually they called my name and I went off with the nurse, was told to wait outside a room and sat there with my paper. This seat was no better than the previous one. I was still sore.

I read Polly Toynbee's latest polemic, her writing was so passionate and I tended to agree with it much of the time. I hadn't read it for ages, the paper, so that included my favourite columnists.

The great man poked his head around a door and called to me, "Hoi der Cathy, bring yer lovely self in here."

How could I refuse such an offer?

I explained again how things were, I kept Stella's involvement to a minimum, saying she'd booked herself into a clinic to work through some issues. He examined me.

"Dat's got some awful bruisin' and it's sloightly torn in places." All I knew was his exam was not very comfortable. He prescribed me some douches to use and a cream to help heal it. I also had to return in one week. I was to refrain from sex for at least a week - no problem there then - and start dilating as soon as things began to calm down. Just what I wanted to hear, I don't think!

I drove home, getting some shopping for the evening meal on the way. I seemed to be turning into a housewife, part of me enjoyed it, part of me would be happy to get back to work.

At home I checked my emails and I felt myself blush when I saw one from Des. I opened it and wished I hadn't.

'Hi Cathy,
The bank is asking what progress we've made with the film. I told them we were arranging a meeting to discuss the script and shooting schedule. Can we sort a date asap?
love,
Des.
The good looking one :)'

I wrote back, 'Hi Des, things are a bit difficult here. Stella was abducted by Russian mafiosi and is in hospital dealing with the PTSD it brought on. I'll speak with Henry and see if I can get a stay of execution.
Cathy.'

I called Henry's office and left a message for him. He called me back an hour later, just as I was cleaning some vegetables.

"Hello Cathy my darling, what can I do for you?"

"Has Simon told you that Stella is in hospital again?"

"Very briefly, is there something I should know?"

"I don't know if I'm betraying trusts here, but she tried to stab me yesterday."

"What? Stella?"

"Yes Stella, my favourite sister in law to be."

"What happened?"

"She was in difficulties yesterday, accusing me of abandoning her because I went out to the garage without telling her."

"What garage, as in filling station?"

"No, Tom's garage, I wanted to check something on a bike."

"So you were still on the premises?"

"Yes, but because I wasn't in the house, she got upset. I sent her off for a nap and called her GP who said he'd call by. He did and she accused me of sending for him. I denied it and the doc said he'd called by because of her discharge note from the hospital. She didn't believe me, and finally attacking me with a knife from the kitchen."

"Were either of you hurt?"

"No just a few cuts and bruises."

"Have they sectioned her?"

"Not quite, she's supposedly a voluntary patient, but it's a secure unit. She's on suicide watch, too."

"It's worse than I thought. I'm busy all day tomorrow and I can't postpone anything, this Northern Rock business has us all on our toes. I don't suppose you could get in to see her?"

"Given what happened, I don't know if that would be a good idea."

"No, maybe not. Simon will have to go, or even Monica. If I send Monica down by train, could you drive her to the clinic?"

"Doesn't she drive then?"

"Yes, a little too quickly for the local constabulary, she's been banned for three months."

"Doing over the ton then?"

"A hundred and forty."

"What was she driving?"

"Her Porsche."

"Oh! Let me know what time and I'll pick her up."

"Good girl, you're going to be such an asset to this family."

"As long as you don't want grandchildren."

"We do, oh yes, of course, you do have that little problem don't you. Never mind maybe we can find some for you to adopt?"

"Can we discuss that again some time? I think there are more pressing issues current."

"Yes of course, well, is that it?"

"Not quite, look I'm under pressure from the bank to do this film with Des. Remember I am on sick leave and shouldn't be doing anything work related."

"Oh of course you are. Leave it with me, I'll grant you another month before we expect anything, how's that?"

"That would be good, I have ideas for how to do this and have the draft of a plan which I'll send to Des over the next few days."

"Sounds good to me, darling girl."

"Okay, Henry, I'll look after Monica tomorrow. Can you remind her I'm not into women?"

"Oh yes, I'll tell her to behave, or she'll try to convert you."

"I'm quite happy being a born again cyclist."

I could hear him chortle before he rang off. I stood up from the chair and my sore bits twinged. Maybe I should go lezzie, it may not hurt as much! Nah, Simon and I will work things out, or I'll get a chastity belt!