The Final Frontier
By Mary Beth Sanford
(Expanded Version of my original: To Boldly Go):
Synopsis: The most dangerous jobs in space could only be done by men, brave men. Some would say the bravest of men. No one knowing what these men have gone through would deny them that praise. Most would shudder thinking about their sacrifice because for those men to do what they do they must first give up being men.
John Franks AKA Mary Elisabeth, Modified Biological Space Engineer;
Susan Day, Transitional Management Specialist acting as John's Trainer;
Other Senior Trainers (Transitional Management Specialist)
Grace Manchester, Trainer for Brandon, AKA Brenda;
Helen Masters, Trainer for Allen AKA Alice;
Jill Addison, Trainer for Steven, AKA Sandy. Mary's best friend;
Marge Lehman, Trainer for Jerry, AKA Joan;
Melissa Patterson, Trainer for Bobby, AKA Barbie;
Shirley Macon, Trainer for Terry, AKA Tracy;
Group Ten Modified Biological Space Engineer Graduates
Brandon, AKA Brenda
Allen AKA Alice
Steven, AKA Sandy
Jerry, AKA Joan
Bobby, AKA Barbie
Terry, AKA Tracy
Additional Key Players:
Janet Berger, MBSE supervisor for Group Ten;
Sergeant Hazel Bedford, Boot Camp Drill Instructor.
Lieutenant Libby Sanders, Targaryen Dragon ship crew member
Breakfast At Tiffany's
But Why Me
A Little Girls World
John Meets Mary
A Little Girl's Life
Hand me downs
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Susan was the only one with a "newborn" so she was the focus of everyone's attention when she sat for their monthly gathering. It had been weeks of classes since she was free for tea and that was reason enough for those warm affectionate greetings and hugs.
It was also a happy occasion for the other "mothers" to be free of their charges for a little R&R. It wasn't that they didn't love their consignees, they did, but a little time for themselves was essential. Crucial that down time, what there was of it, and it was cherished.
Susan ordered tea, another ordered coffee, a soda across the way, another and a few just water as the waiter went around the table. Drinks ordered they all began looking over their menus. There was chatter, always chatter. Catch up, news, funny stories - anything to shed the last bits of distance.
It was small talk mostly with a few giving a quick version of their own status and life in general. It wasn't going to last, that small talk, never did as each slowly calmed their own news, views, and excitement to give Susan her moment. There were so few that a newborn was always news.
"Well," Grace began questioning and directing a look at Susan with a wide smile.
Grace was the most senior of the ladies sitting there and the longest in the program. Everyone deferred to her those questions that often came up and there were always questions. The most important question first, not always the obvious but always asked. Everyone was silent and looking at Susan after Grace posed it.
"He's gone through the worse of it, so how's the rest of it," Grace asked. You could hear a diaper pin drop through the silence.
Susan, smiling, shook her head slowly as she said, "honestly I don't know which is hardest? Getting them into their adorable little dresses that first time, or getting them to wear anything else once they've been dressed as pretty little girls. And God help you moving past a mirror!"
There was a snicker at first, then another, laughter began, building around the table and more than a few knowing nods. If there was ever going to be a saying etched in stone, it would be that one about the mirror.
"It's so true," A woman said between fits of laughter.
"Tell me about it! Boys are much worse than girls when it comes to fusing over dresses," One woman said.
"No comparison," Another added.
"even close,” Said another with a knowing nod.
"Pictures," A woman sitting nearby asked and Susan brought out the most recent of her's while everyone else started bringing out theirs. An assortment of wallets and small photo albums appeared. Some started scrolling through their phones. Everyone had pictures, everyone shared.
"Oh my stars! She is adorable! Where in Heaven's name did you get that dress," Jane asked. She was sitting next to Susan and the first to see Susan's "new" little girl.
"Believe it or not, my mother! She absolutely refuses to believe he is... or rather she was male, let alone a young man before the program. She made it for him in that very first week he stayed with us. So she could show her off. Honestly she is utterly convinced he's a little girl, and nothing I'm going to say is going to change that," Susan said with a touch of pride in her voice.
"My mother was the same way," Rose noted as her own pictures came out and once she gave him a bath and saw “her” there was no way she would believe otherwise.”
"was mine,” Janet said as she asked, "what's her girl name?"
"Mary Elisabeth, after my own grandmother," Susan said happily.
The others did the same with their pictures, and each as proud as the next. Mothers and daughters one would guess as each shared their successes. In a way they were those mothers, but clearly not since all of those little girls were all men once.
Turning men into little girls was actually their specialty. A remarkable group of women for a remarkable group of men. Those men the very best of the best and those women most of the reasons for those successes. Only the bravest men dare do this and finding them was almost as hard as changing them from men to little girls. But first they had to find them.
Chapter: John Franks
John Franks woke slowly, purposefully slow, checking first how much light was shining past his curtains, then his clock. A game he played with himself each morning guessing the time before confirming it, and never off more than fifteen or twenty minutes of his guess before he checked the actual time.
John always had time as he rose to start his day. It was Monday. Monday meant four hours slinging burgers, but in double two hour shifts with one collage class of four hours between those two burger shifts. John hated Mondays almost as much as Tuesday, Wednesday and the other four days.
"That's him," Agent Mark Black said nudging his partner Tracy Evans alert as they sat sipping coffee. They had arrived an hour before John was scheduled to leave his dorm and he was easy to spot.
"Tiny! Doesn't look anywhere near adult," Tracy noted. Agent Black nodded.
"Thankfully they never do," Agent Black noted.
"do you mean,” Agent Evans asked.
"of our candidates have had a difficult time, both with people and simply getting around. Thank about, he can't reach past the third shelf in a store. If it's a normal size bathroom he can't reach the sink, and think about what his employee has had to do so he can work,” Agent Black noted.
"being in some kind of hell,” Agent Evans said watching the small boy that was actually a man.
"they can become the most important person on a space ship,” Agent Black said as he watched John approach.
John unaware of the two agents started his walk. He always walked to work unless it was too cold or raining. He couldn't afford a car let alone the modifications needed to drive one. Most would guess a little boy on his way to school. A look John perfected and found beneficial. His look created less questioning after so many curios looks growing up. Size notwithstanding he looked very much like a little boy.
Agent Black and Evans stepped out of their car and out of habit looked around. Both moved easily from the car.
"John Franks," Agent Black asked as he moved to intercept John. Agent Evans had moved around from the other side of the car to stand behind John, but did so casually. These first meetings were always somewhat delicate.
"Yes," John said looking at the man. That man, in a business suit knew John's name. Odd. Even so, John did not sense any immediate threat. He was curious though as he suddenly caught sight of the woman behind and to his left. She was looking at John so she had to be with the man - government.
"May we talk with you. Perhaps over a Danish and coffee," Agent Black asked.
"What about and how do you know my name," John asked.
"I'm Special Agent Mark Black and this is Special Agent Tracy Evans and we're with Space Corps," Agent Black said as he showed John his badge.
"Space Crops," John asked with a little skepticism in his voice.
There were rumors. Wild rumors but only rumors. The Crops was looking for, and perhaps recruiting small people - little people, John mused. John hadn't paid much attention to those rumors till now.
"Not interested," John said. Space Crops... More like Space Corpse given the losses on the news of late. The last skirmish was out by the belt and Space Corpse lost a ship during that one, and John's next thought made him smile. He didn't smile over the loss of the ship but the differences between him and the recruiting posters. Space Corps built men, but they couldn't work miracles.
"It will only take a moment," Agent Tracy said.
"I'm on my way to work," John said.
"We can take care of that," Agent Black said.
"How's that," John asked.
"John, if you give us a few minutes to talk with us we'll give you the equivalent of six months wages. In cash," Agent Black said as he pulled an envelop from his inside breast pocket.
"Wait a second? You'll give me six months pay just to talk with you," John asked taken back by the offer. Not really that much money to some, but definitely worth his attention as he asked, “so it's what, a voucher?”
"Cash," Agent Black said again.
"Strings," John asked.
"No strings, just your time," Agent Black said.
"Six months wages in cash," John said looking at the envelope. If only that were true he mused.
"Cash, and you're welcome to count it first," Agent Black emphasized.
"There in that envelope," John asked.
"Like I said, you can count it if you like. Ten minutes of your time and that money is yours," Agent Black said.
"Who pays for the Danish and coffee," John asked. It was a joke. Humor was a good thing.
Both agents smiled as John slipped the envelope into his Spider Man back pack after getting a count of the amount. Agent Black promised he would pay. With John in the middle, they looked like a mother, father and child walking into the restaurant.
In an office miles away Susan nervously took a chair at the invitation of a program evaluator named Carol. When Susan sat Carol handed her a folder with top secret in two inch red letters across the front. It would be Susan's first look at John.
"He looks no older than eight," Susan said as she looked at the latest surveillance photos of John.
"That's on purpose," Carol, the program evaluator said as she added, "he does that as a way to cope with his size. He buys clothes meant for kids so he can pass as a kid. Less hassles that way."
"Got to be difficult moving around in this world," Susan said taking an immediate liking to the young man she was looking at as she added, "has to be like living in the land of giants."
"Not as difficult as you might imagine. He passes easily as a child and if he does things that don't offer any hints that he's not, he mostly gets away with it," Carol noted.
"Toddler size four? No, I'd say child size five or six," Susan said more as a statement to herself than as a question. She was estimating John's size.
"Size six," Carol said with a satisfying nod at Susan's expertise.
"So what's his story," Susan asked.
"Born to a midget mother and normal father, both killed when he was three. Foster care till last year when he turned eighteen. First year at City Collage now, and working part time at a fast food restaurant under a supervised Special Needs work program," Carol said.
"A dwarf," Susan asked.
"Actually no, by definition he is a midget. Midgets are perfectly proportioned although abnormally small," Carol said and added, "current politically correct term is little people."
"Three feet," Susan asked.
"Just under! He's about thirty inches measured," Carol noted.
"Same size as my Patti Play Pal doll when I was a little girl," Susan said as she began imagining John dressed as that doll and of course in a diaper under his dress.
"Six inches smaller than our upper limit. Actually, he's nearly perfect," Carol said.
"I'll agree with that," Susan said smiling.
"Enough to agree to sign-on for this one," Carol asked. That was her job after John's mental evaluation. Matching John to Susan had been part of Carol's job as well.
"Yes," Susan said, paused and added, “definitely.”
"I'll need that officially then with your signature at the bottom... page two," Carol said handing Susan a pen.
Susan flipped to the second page and signed the consent form as she asked, "so where are we with him?"
"He's literally being interviewed as she speak. You'll get him in four weeks. Are you familiar with the processes after that," Carol asked.
"I am," Susan said.
"He's yours right after that processing," Carol said.
"I'll have three months, right," Susan asked.
"Three months off and on. You'll share time with his trainers during boot camp and school. Then he's gone for his tour. After his first tour of duty he's home for another six months. They go into space on their assigned ship. On the Job training mostly. After his second six months with you, it becomes six months on, six months off," Carol noted and then added, "logistics has a house ready for you."
"Great. Can't wait to meet her," Susan said as she added, "how does Mary Elisabeth sound as a name?"
Back at the restaurant.
"Recruiting me for what," John asked with no small amount of surprise in his voice. They had sat, ordered a Danish and coffee for John and another two cups of coffee for themselves. The waitress had looked oddly at the two adults for allowing a little boy that age to drink coffee.
'Going to stunt that boy's growth,' the waitress mused almost silently walking back to the service bar to fix their coffees. John laughed and whispered.... "too late".
John sat for the next thirty minutes growing even more surprised as Agent Black went over the program. Most of it classified he'd been warned, but the best parts had kept John's attention for the better part of an hour.
He wanted to pinch himself more than once when Agent Black started off. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollar sign-on bonus, one hundred thousand dollars a year for five years and another two hundred and fifty thousand dollars when he was mustered out after those five years.
If that wasn't enough he didn't have to spend a dime in those five years of service. He could, if he chose to, live comfortably on just the government amenities provided by the program. It wasn't until Agent Black started to describe the program that some of the bubble burst.
The most dangerous duty in space was also the hardest position to fill and not so much because of the danger, Agent Black noted, but because of size requirements. The danger was also part of the reasons for that money. Some of the risk was working in areas called TATS.
TATS, or Total Access Tubes, ran the length and breadth of a space ship. Almost all of the electronics and much of the mechanics were arrayed between the double hulls to give crew more room. It was not too unlike a submarine although much more advanced and far more dangerous.
Someone at some point decided that hiring small people and training them as part of a ship's Engineering group would be perfect for such tight places. If you train a small person to work in those spaces you could keep those spaces tight and small. It saved billions, allowing those savings to fund the program and do si easily.
John, according to the two agents recruiting him, would be perfect as a MBSE. An MBSE was also considered the elite of the Space Corps and second only to the Special Fighting Forces those ships carried. An MBSE or Modified Biological Space Engineer was really the very heart of a space ship.
To say John was interested would have been an understatement. His life, up to now, had not taken off as he had hoped. However, thanks to these two, he now had that hope back. There were some details yet to be discussed and a whole list of questions to be asked, but not until John was evaluated and that evaluation would take a week.
There was also a National Security issue and John would need to sign papers before he was told everything. That too would come together in that first week.
Moreover, they would pay him another fifty thousand dollars for that week. That was on top of the six months wages in the envelop he'd already earned. If, at the end of their conversation, he decided on a no, he was free to go back to slinging hamburgers. John, happily, did not show up for work that day nor did he have plans for any of the days that followed.
Susan, reading John's profile was more than ready for her new charge.
'My Baby Sister Eternally,' Susan said to herself with a smile. That was the other definition for an MBSE. That was the unofficial definition of an MBSE and for good reason. The young men that stepped into that program stepped out fully capable of fixing almost anything on a space ship but all of them looking very much like little dolls – girl dolls.
Remarkably, teaching those men to be little girls was what saved most of them their sanity, and that was after a half dozen killed themselves in that first five years of the program. No one knew why until Grace Manchester, one of the most skilled trainers said it, 'They look like little dolls and girl dolls at that. Come on, think about it! Who's going to want to chum, hang out, or date a guy that looks like a little girl doll?'
Susan was thinking about that statement as Carol continued talking.
"Before we adapted this new program and people like you to the MBSE program there was a thirty five percent suicide rate for these men. Most of the reasons simple because they couldn't cope with what they were once they left the program. Imagine looking like a little doll and trying to live a normal life," Carol said as Susan looked at the image of a naked MBSE.
Susan nodded knowingly. If Susan stood her Patti Play Pal doll side by side with an MBSE graduate they would nearly look identical. That waxy, almost artificial shine, those cute adorable faces were clearly no longer men. She tried to imagine her old doll living on the outside, alone, and again she smiled.
Susan knew full well the psychological impact she, and others like her, had on these men. Susan also knew that getting paid to turn a cute young man into a pretty little girl was, without a doubt, the best job in the known free world. She let her mind drift back in the day.
Of course hiring a professional dominatrix for a man in the service, regardless of the reasons, was not something the service wanted made public. Therefore, when Susan was recruited, and this was nearly a year ago, she came into the program secretly and under the title: MBSE-TMS.
Susan was hired on as a Transitional Management Specialist and the second person John would meet when he was passed through four levels of security onto the base. That was four levels of security to get to the main building only.
The rest of the site was underground and no one, without access, knew how many levels of security there really were. It would be a one way trip for John once he stepped through those large blast proof doors. It took a long time to decide to sign the papers, but he did.
Once John signed the papers, Susan was given the go ahead for his first clothing allowance and that's when Susan called her mother. The program was secret, but you could talk about little girls. Susan told her mother she had joined the “big sister” program and needed to shop for a little girl that she would soon meet. Susan's mother was delighted to help Susan shop and was waiting by the curb when Susan drove up.
John knew one thing when he stepped out of his cell like room for breakfast a month later, he was scared and some of it because it was literally his last real meal... forever. And as he readied himself for his first steps he asked the question that is always asked:
Chapter: But Why Me
Why boys? It just didn't make sense. If you wanted someone that looked like a girl, why not a girl? Susan had asked that question on her first day. John had asked that same question as well. Everyone did and each time it was asked the answer came in parts. Several parts with the first explaining Tachyons.
Tachyons were a theory that in time would help satisfy Einstein's theory of relativity. Tachyons were theoretical particles that suggested they must travel faster than light. At the time that wasn't possible because light was suppose to be the fastest speed ever for everything.
Except there was Einstein again who one day postulated that space and time are relative concepts rather than absolute concepts. He dared to suggest that the speed of light while most likely the fastest speed man could achieve it would not be the fastest man could travel. Because of Tachyons.
Most physicist agreed and particles traveling faster than the speed of light stayed a theory until 2030 when a mysterious track was laid during a routine particle collision at CERN. The trace should not have appeared since it did so in such a way that made it seem to appear before the experiment.
Scientist at the CERN accelerator in France also known as the European Council for Nuclear Research could only shake their head and ignore the results. They had to because of course it was impossible. The only possible explanation was that the particle had out raced time itself.
Obviously no one believed that... but... Over the next five years those experiments continued and ultimately were duplicated. Each test grew more sophisticated until science was convinced that it was possibly true. A smaller accelerator was duplicated inside of a rocket in space and test fired only to disappear. An astronomer in Russia found it some months later drifting near the moon. That experiment was also duplicated and not far from the first the second appeared.
On the third attempt they manned that one, gave it life support and enough material for two test. The second would be for a return and the rocket was fired. It was also manned. There was no recorded acceleration, no Doppler effect where by the stationary object observes the moving object with changes in time, and no notice of the distance traveled. It just went from here to there then back to here in an instant for each.
By 2025 men were traveling to the edges of our system and science leaped decades. By 2030 a commercial version was created and companies with the resources were building factories within Saturn's Rings. By 2040 the police force created and funded by the companies because the Space Corps.
Only something wasn't right.
Women were dying sooner. Not all, only those on the ships routinely traveling using the Tachyon Drives. It seems humans can handle particles that pass through us at speeds greater than light but not if we are traveling almost as fast. Tachyons became a hard radiation inside of a ship. Even more remarkably it only effected women.
It took a scientist in Cambridge to discover a workable theory. First It's all about chromosomes and what's inside of our cells, every cell of our bodies. For some reason still not fully known the XY chromosomes that makes some of us male, or the heterogametic sex distinction happens also to provide some sort of protection against Tachyons.
Scientist think it's got something to do with the SRY gene itself. That gene is always present on the Y chromosome and the key to making males, male. That gene acts as a signal setting the development of... how should I put this... maleness.
Something within that process that begins within a few weeks of pregnancy either changes within cells or is created within cells to manage the masculinization of a human. That human becomes male and as a side benefit becomes immune to the effects of that hard radiation.
Since the Tachyon particles don't care about such things as suits or extra body shielding you can't protect a female other than to keep her within the shielding of a ships inner hull. It left working between the that inner and outer hull vulnerable to that single form of hard radiation and just men, small men given the areas. The MBSE program evolved from that. The first feminized man that stepped out of processing, while appearing female for a lot of practical reasons was still male. Unfortunately if you're going to look like a doll, the best way to hide you in plain sight is to dress you like one. The funny thing is that would someday change.
Until then there was still the processing...
You would see the recruiting posters all over the place. "Space Cadets! Only the toughest need apply!" Those posters, everywhere, always showing a nearly perfect guy, or a nearly perfect gal toned to perfection with pure white teeth. Those poster kids the epitome for the right stuff, and wasn't that hilarious.
If it wasn't so ironic John might have laughed. Almost all of those like John laughed, albeit sarcastically. They can't help ourselves when they see those posters because in space, as the real old saying goes: "It's actually the little dolls with the real balls", and funnier still, those balls would be some of the first things to go.
As another old saying goes, 'In space, no one can hear you giggle!'
John had spent days and days being tested, probed, prodded and evaluated. Eleven people, in a meeting without John, but with Susan present, were to give their yea or nay on John making it. John got approval from eleven out of eleven and it would then be up to Susan in not too long a time.
John was going to be in desperate need of someone understanding as they walked him down the hall to an elevator that was heavily guarded. Susan would be the one person he could count on before long and Susan was also going to teach John to giggle.
Giggling isn't really a requirement, but it comes with the territory, so those men like John have to learn to giggle, but first they were going to make him cry! A lot. That part, that part about crying, was what scared John as the large and so very thick elevator doors hissed open. There was only one other set of doors and those were at the very bottom of a very deep shaft.
And that shaft was one way... Down.
"Share with me my sorrow and I'll share with you my joys!"
That saying was above a long hall as the first hint that things are going to get a little weird as John passed under that sign. The process itself would make the bravest man faint dead away. John was told what to expect, more or less, but it was a kind of reader's digest of the process and far easier to imagine than to live.
That digest was a somewhat clinical and boring version that hints it's not going to be all that great, but not all that bad either, although it doesn't come close to what really happens. John had signed the waver, the medical release and that last one, in legal ease, noting John was of sound mind and knew exactly what he was doing should his life come to an end - too soon.
John didn't have a clue what to really expect. Had he truly understood, things might have been different, but by the time he realized all of that it was just on the other side of too late. Although John was given more than a few chances to say no but, in the end, he didn't. John really didn't have anywhere else to go. Except now, as those elevator doors opened at the bottom, leaving him straight into isolation.
Susan, meanwhile, was tacking color swatches on the wall of John's room in her new base housing. She had chosen a white base with touches of a light mauve for the trim and a very light pastel pink for curtains and carpet. John's furniture, French, slightly provincial but a touch modern in white was trimmed to match that pastel pink. Shear polyester chiffon curtains were tied back with like material fashioned into very large, very pretty soft bows.
It would be a cute room and for a girl not too much past the age of six. Pretty, as were the dresses Susan was collecting to go with shoes, socks, panties, slips and everything else a little girl needs to be a prissy little girl. She spend hours within the mall stepping into and out of shops that catered to or offered things for girls.
So too those disposable and cloth diapers and plastic vinyl pants if that six year old girl was still wetting herself or her bed. She found John's basic disposable diapers at a big box recommended by another trainer for their “cushion”.
That cushion was kind of a joke among the ladies because it meant two things: It had enough padding for a playful squeeze and absorbency. Best of all it had single tapes on either side just like a baby's diaper.
That was actually going to be important in a short time...
Unfortunately, until John could manipulate his new self, he really would emerge slightly incontinent. It would be an embarrassment for John but those cute squeezable diapers and soft cotton diapers that went under such cute plastic panties delighted Susan.
John might see such things as a necessary evil - at first - perhaps. Susan didn't. Susan saw them as an opportunity for them to bond. She fused with those out of the package much longer than necessary. It was a delight as she folded the cloth and patted the disposable lovingly as she put both away.
Susan paused a moment to admire the dolls and stuffed animals.
There were teddy bears and dolls, some in dresses, some in diapers. All were designed to give John a subconscious view of himself when the time came. The process wasn't written in stone, but there was a process born of experience by others before Susan.
Susan knew that process almost as well as she was coming to know John. She looked at the heart shaped clock noting the time. She already knew the day while imagining John within the system....
John would be going into isolation about now, Susan realized as she thought about the date and time.
As it happens, John went into isolation room one first. No physical human contact from this point on he was told as he passed through two seriously thick Lucite doors that hissed closed to seal behind him. This was a one way trip. Although a few hours before that, they nearly killed him with a half dozen doses in shots of whatever kills everything, and not you - barely.
John's exam was first, and began right after he stripped down to his birthday suit. Just scans and minor test for the obvious things found in nearly every human. That took two days while the results of his blood gases and chemicals went through their own special testing. Everything John had on went into an incinerator. His only meals and drinks came in Lucite bottles of stuff with colors but without flavors.
They also took samples of John's skin. They took samples while his full medical checkup was under way and all of it by robots operated by people John couldn't see. Within a few hours, John's DNA was being introduced into several very special areas. One place in particular after those sample went down a tube, and was where they manufactured customized nanobots.
Nanobots, these particular nanobots, need human DNA to form. DNA first, then a little time to attach to a unique chemical key only for John before being activated. A safety feature. Those nanobots are John's and John's alone as they form a unique bond to that small amount of DNA of his.
Susan, meanwhile, had carefully stacked John's diapers and plastic panties next to another pile of ruffled panties in different pastel colors. The colors matched his dresses. Ruffle Butts the packages said as Susan opened each and carefully removed the nylon covered plastic to be put away. Every pair was lovingly fondled and caressed. As if already covering John's diapered bottom.
John wasn't aware of what he'd wear one day as he took another swig of his elixir waiting for the all clear on his DNA. After six hours of pre-selected radiation codes, incubation and seventeen more hours of special radiation triggers, John's own personal bots were introduced back into his blood stream.
Those first nanobots are designed to be very short lived. These particular nanobots are designed to die in a battle John felt only as a light and slight allergic reaction. More like a minor head cold if John had to describe the symptoms.
They gave John another series of those same nanobots in a nasal spray to start cleaning those shelf like structures in his nose called turbinate. Turbinates are those structures which help trap particles entering the nasal passages. Those particular nanobots hit the back of John's throat in about ten to fifteen minutes after they were introduced.
Those nanobots are not too unlike a cold virus, carried in by that ciliary action that allows a cold virus to reach a person's adenoids. The adenoids is a lymph gland structure and, like a cold virus, the nanobots attached to cells within that structure to begin a ride through his lymph nodes. John was literally being cleaned inside out.
An hour after that spray, John began to sneeze and sniffle. John grew sicker with a slight fever that peaked and broke a couple of days later. When his fever broke his symptoms ended and so too those first nanobots. A swab of his mouth and nose was taken and somebody, somewhere told someone else that John was okay for the next phase.
Feminizing a young man was something Susan had spent years learning. Susan actually learned her craft as a real dominatrix. Susan knew some men took to that sort of thing through punishment. Susan also knew some were led down that path through persuasion, a few were born to it and some, like John, would be nurtured into it.
Susan, above all else was a nurturer. Her entire view of such things came from that core belief that a person will do almost anything if it begins with a hug. Susan was a huger and John, with this ordeal ahead of him would need a lot of hugs at the end of it.
With that first process okay and approval to continue on John's condition, the next step was about to start. John got another dose of nanobots, a second set injected. John's symptoms changed again as those nanobots adapted themselves to nearly four hundred differing bacteria. Almost every bacteria that John had that he was not born with as it happens. Those nanobots also die after a day or so from being introduced.
A third set of genetically designed nanobots are injected the same way as that second set and with those all hell breaks loose for a couple of more days. This third set, far more powerful than the first or second, left John's body filled with what the doctor calls super white blood cells. These nanobots will live just long enough to kill everything else that rarely dies.
This was John's cure phase only the cure is about twice as painful as most diseases they went after. For the next few days John prayed for a quick death as those nanobots cleansed him of literally everything he'd picked up since birth. John also spent most of his time either standing over or sitting on the toilet before being sprayed with disinfectant.
Actually, John came out of that internal cleansing literally even more pure than a new born baby. Better than a newborn baby the voice over the speaker said when John asked what was happening to him. Twelve days passed and with it most everything inside of John that wasn't actually John.
Treating John like a baby was designed to be very obvious as Susan went through her list of accessories she found necessary. Baby bottles, utensils, dishes, sippy cups, bibs and enough food to feed a baby for weeks were checked and double checked as Susan stocked her cabinets. She hummed to herself happily.
John would not openly want to be babied, but would come to it out of necessity first while his healing processes were underway. In a way those first short weeks would work in Susan's favor when John came under her care.
"Treating a man like a baby softened that man and when that man was soft enough, feminizing him would be far easier," or so said Grace Manchester in the class Susan had sat through.
From Susan's perspective, as it also was noted, this would be the first real opportunity for the bonding process to begin between John and Susan. It wasn't too unlike a mother and baby, Grace had noted when she described what John would be needing.
"Considering him like you might that new born child you're bringing home for the first time and you'll have that child putty in no time," Grace noted to the nods of those in Susan's class.
As Susan thought of that, those last nanobots worked very effectively and in that time John passed a lot of things that had died inside of him. Unfortunately they didn't exactly allow John to pass all of it by himself and his first enema started four days into that last cleansing process.
These enemas are a very indignant but effective process carried out several times a day to help John void all of that dead material. A very nasty but necessary bit of business, John mused with a scowl, at the end of that process.
The tubing itself was done by robots after John was secured to a bed with his bottom up. The rounded tube was lubricated and slowly pushed into John's rear before the solution was streamed inside of him. John grunted as his intestines swelled making him feel as if he was about to explode. And explode he did when the time came.
A comfortably stream of warm water washed him when he was empty again.
"You are as pure as the driven snow! More so..." a technician said over the loud speaker as John's stool sample readouts were finally returned. John's stool, just for the record, was nearly white by the end of that process.
Literally John's poop no longer smelled.
Of course John was now susceptible to every disease known to man, and some most likely not known. At this first stage, the slightest infection, however innocent before this, would quite literally kill him and do so faster than a speeding bullet.
John had made it or so he was told. He didn't think he would but he did and over the loud speaker, as John was passed into another chamber, phase one had ended. John was happy to pass those doors when he did.
Susan got the word and as before, was now part of John's medical review team. Susan was there to monitor his level of tolerance for the rest of this process and, when it became necessary, to be there for him when things started getting bad. Susan wanted his comments, thoughts and attitude as the process continued.
John, meanwhile, waited while another large - very large and very intimidating Lucite door slowly opened. John passed through and it closed behind him and as secure as that first. He was told to move on as the walkway hissed a cloud of something behind him. John's trip now was also a continuation of increasing security as he entered into the next highest level of isolation.
Isolation was crucial and for John's very life at that moment. John was at very high risk until the end of this phase and this phase started in a stage six isolation ward. A stage six isolation simply means that nothing, but you, still lives in that room.
A stage six isolation ward is sealed from every living thing in the universe. What comes in such as air, water and that gelled liquid John pretended to eat, is filtered till only the base atoms of those things can pass through the special filters. And just to make sure, even then those base atoms are bombarded with several types of radiation before John gets them.
There was, for the record, no other human as pure as John was at that moment.
John would remain here until he was capable of walking and moving around again. Being weak as a kitten is a good way to describe what John felt like when the large doors sealed behind him. Just inside, as those door sealed, John was in another cell as a robot arm administered, via a needle, a new set of nanobots.
These particular nanobots would, in a few days, aid in John's recovery for the next phase. These last are a set of newly customized white blood cells and about 1,000 times more powerful than the ones John had all of his life. When those second set of nanobots took hold John would be declared, fit and free to move about without worry.
That declaration, by a team of doctors that must all agree for the record, that he was free of everything they know about. Free of everything that nature introduced into you when you were first formed. That declaration was by a team of four different doctors, and independently of one another as each studied a separate blood sample from John. They were a crucial key for the next phase.
Meanwhile, back at John's new house John's bed, a toddler's version and for a girl, was set in the center of his room with two night stands on either side. A soft canopy of chiffon was overhead with their own large bows now matching the curtains. Below that airy canopy a cute spread with Disney's Cinderella decorating it. His pillow case matched the Cinderella sheets that matched the spread.
On the walls, posters from all of Disney's movies where a female was the theme: Cinderella, Snow White, and Bell hung next to Jasmine. In a corner were his dolls and stuffed animals. There was a cute computer table with Disney's motif surrounding the bezel of the screen that matched the childish mouse pad.
In John's closet there was a growing assortment of dresses, slips and shoes with a cute Barbie rain coat, hat and umbrella set Susan had found shopping after her medical review meeting. Everyone was satisfied with John's progress up to this point as was Susan with John's room and growing wardrobe.
Once that medical declaration was made John was allowed to slip into a tube at the end of the room he was in. That tube, John was told was how he would ride to the next phase. That tube, John was also told, was shielded by several layers of radiation to protect him from a world that can now kill him in a thousand new ways, at least until those nanobots took hold.
John, when he slipped through that tube, now found himself within what they called the Xeonatrop Flash Phase. It took fifteen minutes for robot arms to fix John onto a bed made of glass. Several layers of glass actually and all designed to reflect 100% of what would happen next.
It was a very special glass bed designed to bounce and reflect Xeon amplified waves of light over every inch of John's body one millimeter at a time. John was in a kind of glass cocoon that, John noted, felt as cold as it looked. That cocoons' design, he knew, would hold him in check as the Xeon bulb flashes.
Those flashes, John also knew, would become more painful as the intensity grew and it did. John also knew that, but wasn't fully capable of understanding it till it started. Some, if they could explain this chamber and it's effect, would tell you it is analogous to what a lobster goes though when he's dumped live into a vat of boiling water.
John was told this by a technician a while back. John was only now beginning to understand the dark humor of that analogy as those flashes begin. John also began to understand why he had been so tightly restrained.
John didn't know this, but his screams, like many who pass through that process, bother some of the technicians so a few shut the sound off. Some of the technicians also say that the lobster is actually luckier than those passing through this chamber. Luckier, because within just a moment or so, the lobster dies while John, unfortunately, lives on.
Xenon is a very rare, colorless, odorless and nearly non-reactive gas that, under very high pressure can produce a short burst of ultraviolet light rays. These UV waves while short and easily amplified are designed to be controllable to the width of a cell and far smaller than a human hair. Which is, as it happens, what goes first.
A robot arm, right after two others secured John within the bed, injected him with a mild pain killer. It is never enough pain killer, because what goes off over that hour is the entire first layer of John's epidermal layer, or skin. If a lobster could scream, some note, that lobster would sound a lot like John in those eternally long sixty minutes.
Fortunately, when John could not imagine lasting another second, it was over. Not as quickly as he hoped, but it was finally done. John had lost the complete first layer of his epidermal to the depth of two cells and with it he began to realize just how many nerve cells the body has. John cursed this place as two technicians, using those same robotic arms from a remote controlled booth, release him from that bed of torture.
Susan was looking at pictures of little girls, some in diapers....
Dressing a young man as a girl is easier if you simply think of that young man already as a girl. Dressing a young man as a child is far simpler if you also consider that young man as a child. Susan thought of John right from the start as both a child and as a girl.
John was almost like a new born because he was going to need to be taught a lot of new things. Most of what Susan would teach him is how to look, act and deep down feel like a little girl. Some, unlike Susan, simply taught their charges how to act and acting it was. Others, like Susan, would teach John the pleasures of being what he was to become.
When you can imagine you are something you can be what you imagine. Susan wasn't going to teach John how to be a little girl as much as she was going to treat him as one so he could become one. When there is a treatment to the level of intensity Susan would introduce, John himself would take care of the rest of it. In Susan's mind John was already there.
She also wondered where John actually was in that process that he was in before she got him.....
John, meanwhile had also lost every surface microorganism known to man, and again, a few not known. Skin, bugs, and every bit of hair John had or would ever have was now gone. John was now as clean outside as he was inside, and as smooth as that baby they often talk about.
As smooth as a baby is a fairly accurate analogy because, in a sense, John was now very much like that newborn. Actually, John was smoother than that because babies do have some hair and John literally had none.
As a matter of fact, from the Space Corps point of view, John was perhaps one of the most expensive babies ever born or in this case reborn at that moment. No one really knows what the cost is for this entire process, but a guess to this point is roughly four million dollars. Four million dollars to just get John here and ready to be put into the Synplast chamber.
In the Synplast chamber they injected John with a sedative then filled his lungs with oxygel. Oxygel would allow John to breath for the next two days so they can seal his mouth and nose closed. At first John thought he was drowning. He didn't.
They also added a layer of dissolvable gel to his eyes that hardens. A soft plug went into his bottom and that expanded closing that hole off. Two more plugs, for his ears went in while two more sealed his nose. Finally a sheath was pulled over his penis and slowly shrunk when the air hit it. Once again robot arms secured John onto another special bed.
Synplast is a Synthetic plastic polymeric layer. That layer was about to be added and literally "cooked" onto John. Synplast is actually a unique polymeric that earlier was painted and mixed with John's own skin cells just taken those days earlier. That plastic slush, now coated with John's cells will soon become John's new layer of skin. One side, the outside, will be incredibly hard; while the other, softer, is actually a very pure form of John's skin.
Robot arms, after John was secured, slipped John and his special bed into a bath of it before a soft radiation began to cause the mixture to adhere those cells to his own. Once again John was lightly sedated and allowed to spend another day of hell wishing he were somewhere else. All the while wishing that and wanting to scratch away the agony from the tips of his toes to the very top of his head.
Between the sedative and pain John was out of it as his bed was lifted from the foaming bath. He was slid into an adjacent chamber and another mild form of radiation, in a room just at 98.6 degrees, aided the process. When it was over John now look more like a plastic doll on an assembly line than the person he was. Remarkably, a doll without any features because John would still need eye brows, lashes and a wig for that to be true.
That itching, they told John, was his bodies attempt to fluff off that Synplast layer before it was set. That attempt to scratch began driving John mad, and much of it because John couldn't touch it. Galvanometric restraints keep John from doing so till that layer was set. After a while, and again just before John would go stark raving mad, it ended.
Chapter: A Little Girls World
John would be nurtured in steps, by Susan, beginning simply then growing more elaborate. It was his costuming as it was called but costuming didn't define the dresses Susan was holding as she shopped. One of the biggest advantages of having a man John's size, was those dresses and the things he'd wear under them.
Fashions for little girls change with the times but not everything. Some of those dresses are timeless and Susan was shopping for those first. For a mom they were the Sunday best or going to grandma's house kind of dresses. For Susan they were John's first steps in this world she was going to craft for him. Pinks and pastels and not a shred of cotton in any of them. If you don't count his new diapers.
We define our world with our senses, all of our senses and one of Susan's goals was to make sure John's senses had something feminine and soft to hang on to. His sense of touch would feel nothing but the softest and most feminine of fabrics. His sense of sight would see nothing but the most delightful of girlish and childish visions.
John's sense of smell the perfumes and bubble baths he would soon come to know. Hearing would confirm what he wore since most boys never hear the rustle of a pretty dress and taste, she mused, would come from Gerber and rubber tipped baby bottles for a time. While his body would come to understand what his senses were telling him, Susan would be adding her own words to his.
Until then John was cursing those very senses...
For the most part, the worse part of John's pain passed in four to six hours and a sedative John had been given helped as the pain ended. When that ended so had that phase. Synplast or that plastic skin now allowed John to move into a stage four isolation room after being "unplugged". He threw up most of the gel and passed what remained.
In a stage four isolation room you can actually see another living person, but only in those sealed suits as they check his vitals. This, they told him is when he would rest up a bit. Two kinds of hell, somebody decided thankfully, needs time to be forgotten.
They give you those two days while more test are conducted. When all ten of the technicians giving those test gave a thumbs up, the head of that sections also gave their go ahead. John was put onto a gurney, wheeled into a med chamber, and the first of four major operations were about to begin.
Those technicians, privately, call this phase the ultimate Sexual Reassignment Surgery and, on occasion, but privately, the doll works. John knew this was going to happen and thought long and hard over the ramifications of what was about to happen. The fact that he would never, ever get sick again, nor age as quickly had helped.
And it began as a doctor in another bio suit took up a scalpel just after looking at the clock.
They started with the removal of two ribs at the lowest part of John's rib cage. Those ribs are removed completely, and just behind his breast, and those remaining ribs, went his implants. Those implants would slowly seal to his lungs and that new thin scar will be gone in a few days.
Another implant also began to scrub John's gases coming out and again going back in. They scrubbed and mixed those with pure oxygen and that was tested. John held his breath at their request, and he was told simply to hold it till his body would demand a breath.
John discovered this roughly came an hour later, when he finally did breath, and that it could have been two hours. Those additions to enhance his intake of oxygen to his lungs are already working. It is an amazing feeling, John mused, to hold his breath for nearly what seemed like forever.
John would be taught how to breath using those new gas scrubbers and condensers later. In the old days it was called a re-breather and someday they will allow you to do so without using your nose and mouth at all.
John held his breath while playing with the concept of going for long periods of time without taking another. It was something he can't yet imagine even as he begin reaching that two hour limit. There were a lot of things that habit drove and it felt odd holding your breath for as long as he now could.
John couldn't imagine never eating again either. You can imagine what you'll be missing because you've tasted it. You can't imagine not tasting things again but his stomach was removed. That went after the next team of surgeons entered. His stomach and nearly two thirds of his upper and lower intestines followed.
There was a sloppy, squishy, red mess weighing in at roughly eleven pounds that went into a bio hazard resolution vat to be broken down to it's basic cells before the rest was being blasted to atoms via a plasma flame. Most of it had been John's intestines, stomach and colon.
Some of that soup was handed off and handled in another part of the building while John was under. John, of course, didn't see that part but he could imagine he could hear it as it was removed. He'd rather not hear it either and he was so very glad he didn't see it.
John didn't know it yet, but there were fine wire implants installed in the upper part of his mouth that would, once he was hooked to his processing unit, allow him to taste any combination of things he'd ever tasted or would taste. He could eat the best of everything and never touch a drop of drink or a morsel of food. A ten course meal was easy programming. The doctor looked at the test patterns and nodded.
John could eat and drink but it would forever be baby food and a solution that would serve as a blood plasma replenishment. They intended the eating for pleasure when some became desperate to put something in their mouth. The formula, like most baby formulas would be taken in baby bottles with modified nipples. Susan was storing John's new baby bottles as John's implants were tested.
John's heart was next, or the operation to modify it. His heart was connected with two flat leads coated with that same body adhesive that now covered him. Those leads connect into a small flat box made slightly pliable to fit inside of his chest. A box, he was told, that will ultimately send feedback into a computer. There were ten hands playing around his chest and not a one of them knew John's name.
That first team focused on John's major organs. That second on his lungs again and the third, mostly technicians, were there for the implant tubing and wiring. Again, John had been told about most of it. John had also been told the worse of it. John didn't dwell on that last part much.
That worse part, for a guy that is, is by way of another specialist. She was a surgeon concentrating on the one obvious thing that makes a man a man, and that too, what's left of it, goes into the bio hazard resolution vat. Not all of it because the remaining skin is laid open, inverted, tucked and formed within a new void she created. John, already under when this happened, was glad he would be sleeping in those moments.
To anyone looking on and a dozen are, including Susan, John became officially, a post operative transsexual. John still looked like a doll without those features he'd get, but he was unofficially a girl doll now. That surgeon took one last look around, smiled and left a lower level resident surgeon to close.
That surgeon has done a thousand of those procedures, but each one always left her smiling. That surgeon often tells those asking that she's an expert at turning men into women and she enjoys telling that to men most of all - and in detail. John though, still asleep, is not done yet.
Meanwhile, before a half dozen hours in recovery, a new team of two has joined the rest just finishing. Those two make small cuts where John's hair line once was and they peel back his scalp. Hardly more than lifting a rug, some say, but the image of that gives some goose-bumps.
They stand back with their hands covered in a towel soaked in chemicals, while another set of technicians, waiting in the background till now, attach a custom fitted shield to John's skull. It's been custom made for him from a CATSCAN. That shield has a delicate web or ribbon of wires now coming from the exposed skull connecting to contacts for the brain side.
A delicate membrane holding a set of chips about the size of a dime begins transmitting a code to a computer that begins transmitting back to John. Over time that base communications link will be fixed. John has now been engineered to talk with hardly more than a thought, and he can listen without ears. John now has terabytes of information at his disposal.
The metallic nature of that cover and those webs also will prevent most forms of hard radiation from frying that gray mass one day. Under that web are additional leads added for that same monitor that will watch John's heart and other vitals. Those wires that connect all of this other stuff is snaked down a new major blood vessel and the surgeon down below, using a microscope, connects it to that soft box where John's stomach use to be.
That third team, working on the skull has now finished. That second team that was doing what was once called a sexual reassignment surgery follows that first to the door, and the last of this ordeal ends in just over fourteen hours. For the next twenty four more hours another set of nanobots, assisting those extra that were injected into John before, begin the healing process. John's super white blood cells will heal him about one hundred times faster than before.
That phase has ended.
Actually just the operation part of that phase has ended. It's not over till those doctors say it is. A board of doctors, looking over reams of information, must pass on John before John is passed on. A small group of experts looks over John's charts and signs off that he's made it this far successfully and safely.
Made it this far, or perhaps, so far as some might say, given what's been done. John now looks very much like a doll only it's most definitely a new girl doll as he is wheeled into what they call a phase three isolation chamber with an operating theater. This is after John recovered they said, but John might have argue that. It seems like years have passed instead of just days.
This following phase is for the eyes mostly, and that takes almost as long as those surgeons that made all that space they will need. John's eyes was the second of four more operations he would go through, but when it's finished he would be able to see in ten additional wave lengths besides what he once saw. He can also, thanks to a new set of corneas, take a small twenty two caliber bullet at point blank range without damage.
That's the theory anyway, and John was glad they leave it just a theory. Flinching is also now a figurative term because your old lids have gone into that same bio hazard resolution vat as well. As have his finger and toe nails. That's a minor operation, John was told, and hardly counts, because it's simply to end the cell growth of those protective shells.
That second operation is finished and a third operation begins. This third one is done that following day, or night because John was no longer sure. John, in that operation, got a new set of eye lids added that actually, when closed, can seal the eyes completely now. Hardened Shields, as well have been added to his eyes. Sealing the eyes is insurance against accidental exposure to hard space.
So too those new finger nails fashioned like the first, but all made of that poly-morphic-ceramic. John's toes are covered in their own layer of ceramic and baked on. Baked on is also figurative since it's nanobots and radiation again melding the skin to that special layer of plastic and ceramic. No one pays much attention to the length of those new nails on John's hands simply because he already looks like a little girl.
They give John a full week to get over those injustices this time. Most of that time was spent learning how to talk with the computer he'd be forever linked to. At first all John got was headaches and it's not talking as you might think of talking. Mostly it's just odd noises at first. Chirps, clicks and whistles for a while making him think of old modems or faxes connecting.
They say that will change as the computer "gets to know John" and John "her". John has asked why the computer talked like a female and all he'd gotten at the time was a shrug. Of course John was no longer male except for the brain part and that female part from the computer was part of his feminization process.
John was also told that the next operation makes it all worth it. That last, the best and John had read first hand accounts of this from others like him. He was looking forward to that part because he was announced ready for the "plug".
That plug is a device inserted where a man's penis would go if John were a woman. Since John is, in fact, more woman now than a guy that's where his plug went. It's a soft plug that form fits within John's new Vagina. A not so pleasant sensation at first but that changes some. John noted that change in silence but with a slight shudder as an odd sense of satisfaction.
The leads from the plug were routed to that small package in his chest area, and fed through a small plastic tube before it was connected. That plug wasn't planned in the beginning, or was, but functioned originally only as a catheter. That changed, and by the good graces of whoever designed that change, John now had, what a lot of women would envy, a very effective stimulator custom designed to fit his new vagina.
That stimulator was for John's sake. The sake of John as a human. John could not imagine something like this until the first time they activate it for testing. John immediately, and involuntarily, wanted to kiss whoever it was that invented it. John would, if he could, kiss them each time those basic test for the stimulator were made. John also wanted to kiss the technician as well and pray he or she would just keep testing it.
That stimulator was tested while he was still in recovery. Obviously John was told all of this before then, but he didn't fully understand what that meant. He didn't understand until that someone threw that switch or pressed a button.
It leaves most, and this time John, moaning in delight. John found himself begging for that switch to be thrown again and again, and he couldn't wait to discover how he could throw it on his own.
Fortunately or unfortunately whoever invented it also knew that. They already knew you would keep that switch on till you died from starvation or dehydration. To avoid that an additional implant was added. That small bit of new electronics is used to monitor those orgasms John will be having.
It's a safety switch of sorts, and rightly so because it's the only thing keeping patients from killing themselves in the most wonderful of ways. When it's all said and done, John will be allowed no more than sixteen complete, but multiple orgasms a day once the safety switch is on.
It is also many more times than most people could ever hope to have, so John's arguments of more times was never ever going to wash. What is also unique, according the procedure John read about, is that for the first time in his life he actually knew what it's like to have multiple orgasms.
One of the first real benefits of being a girl after a half dozen weeks of pure hell getting there.
"If you are going to be more like a girl you might just as well reap some of the rewards. Right," said John's first psychologist. A psychologist who also happens to be a female herself and obviously biased some. In some ways that was true, that bias, but so too was John's now.
John never really noticed that almost everyone he was coming into contact with was female and that too was designed that way. John was, for all intents and purposes, female and, for his sake, that was the view they wanted him to form at some point. At least the notions would be there.
Anyway, those few days in isolation following that last set of operations were simply put aside to give John all the time he needed to take advantage of that tingling sensation he was learning to induce. They gave him that time before the safety device is activated.
Remarkably, it was a hundred times better than pain killers and that was John's opinion when he stopped long enough to take one. That tingling is not truly an orgasm so that's allowed without restrictions. It's a sort of rest and relaxation before the rest that follows.
Although you don't get much rest nor do you relax much. That tingling stiffens your legs and arches your back nearly every hour on the hour for the next thirty six hours so John was hardly resting. Fortunately it's also good exercise so that too was one of the reasons John was allowed to 'play' with himself for a bit.
So it was that by the time his last operation was started John's world was looking a lot more rosy than it had. Actually by the time John was scheduled for that last operation he was nearly past the overwhelming desire to induce those sexual teases - almost.
John's last operation opened him again, and that is done for the microelectronics units that now sit where everything else once sat. A rubber looking type bag formed to fit all the space you have now that sits in all that space you had.
When that operation was done John could actually talk directly to most major computer systems, digest what he would take in as food, as long as it was from Gerber's, and pre-process what had to come out. The reason he no longer needed all of those intestines was simply because he processed faster. Like a computer even.
John's new computer link was tested and he begin talking specifically to the one he'd come to know on his first space assignment. John did spend those first hours changing her voice and the rest of the day amazed over having instant access to almost all of the data in almost all of the world being managed, he mused, by a very pretty woman that called him precious.
John could also now take a breath and hold it for two hours, go to the bathroom without ever having to go to the bathroom and start eating real food again, albeit baby food. Ironically, since it had been nearly four weeks of nothing but tubes and IV's even baby food actually tasted delicious.
His first baby food was almost as good for the moral as triggering that new device they call a virgasim. That new link with the computer was tested one last time along with everything else and another panel of specialist was convened to say hello before his very last step. His food link wouldn't work till he was outside at the end.
The panel of experts John faced were all smiling. Susan was smiling most of all.
"He won't know that you've got control over his virgasim. At least not till you tell him," Dr. Sniderman noted as she handed Susan the small key switch tuned to John's body. It was another element in Susan's arsenal of things to make a man do what no man would dare without those elements. She slipped the bracket onto her wrist.
"John, this is Susan," Dr. Sniderman said as John and Susan took each others hand. One of the things John noticed immediately was how much warmer Susan's hands were. Truth was John's computer link inputted some of the necessary changes so that Susan's hands did feel warmer.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if there are no objections I'm going to close the development file oh John and turn him over to Susan," Dr. Sniderman said with a brief pause to allow anyone to answer. No one did as she added, "Mark his case closed and John, congratulations. You and Susan are free to go."
"John, shall we go to your room," Susan asked.
"I have a room," John asked.
"They've given us one so you can change for your trip home," Susan said and then added, "shall we?"
"Yes," John said taking Susan's hand, but slightly embarrassed to do so.
The hallway was empty of people which was on purpose till John and Susan were safely in the room set aside for John to be changed. The rest of the program was now in Susan's hands.
They entered the room with John leading Susan. It was a fairly basic hospital room but there were clothes bags and a shoe box already on the bed.
"John, do you remember this part of the program," Susan asked.
"About the trainers," John asked.
"Yes," Susan said.
"I do," John responded thinking back to the handbook he'd been given outlining the program as he added, "you're my trainer and guide right?"
"That' right," Susan said and added, "I am that and your advocate within the program. I work for Space Corps and get paid by them but my only role is to insure you succeed. And to do that you've got to be happy so that too is my job. If at any time you're uncomfortable with what is happening I need to know that so we can either fix it or find a way around it. Is that clear?"
"It is," John said.
"John," Susan said and added, "such a silly name for someone so adorable.
"It's what I was given when I was born," John said nervously.
"Ah, but you've been reborn now haven't you?" Susan said in a delightfully soft voice.
"Yes, I suppose so," John said blushing although he was sure there was no blush showing.
"Then why don't we come up with a new name? Something more suitable and to that I'd add: Angle, because that's what you look like." Susan said.
John's blushing response was to almost snicker at the notion he was an angle. Although he was almost positive he more than likely looked like one.
"So, are you ready to go home," Susan asked.
"Definitely," John said excitedly.
"Then let's get you dressed and out of this ugly gown," Susan noted as she touched the short green fabric.
"Mind if I call you Mary for now," Susan asked.
"Damned if I do, damned if I don't," John said as he realized he was more of a she than a he.
"I'd rather you want me to," Susan said as she added, "Mary."
John felt an odd sensation just above the threshold of sensations just as Susan said Mary. It fostered an immediate endorphin surge that John reacted to with a slight smile.
"I guess it's as good a name an any," John said with the sensation of a blush.
"Then Mary it is precious," Susan said as she lifted her finger from the small key switch before adding, "and now something suitable for someone as cute as you."
John sat in the chair with Susan's help and Susan sat on the bed. "Mary," Susan said.
"Yes," John answered feeling a little odd.
"You realize you'll be stepping into the world again. Not truly the outside world just yet and a world sensitive to people like you but it's all going to be very new for you," Susan said pausing.
"I know," John answered.
"And like they've told you it's mostly going to be the feminine side that those seeing you will react to," Susan said and added, "feminine and childish as well. Although I understand you've been playing with the childish all your life, right?"
"Yes ma'am," John said.
"Susan honey, call me Susan," Susan said.
"Yes Susan," John added and said, "made things a little less odd for people when they see a child and not an adult the size of a child."
"Exactly my point," Susan said and added, "if they see a feminine child and that feminine child is dressed feminine and childish then no one will really pay much attention to you."
"I'm guessing that's true Susan," John said and added, "so I take it I'll be leaving here as a girl?"
"That's exactly right. A girl child," Susan said and added, "and to ease some of the stress of being incontinent I'll be replacing that disposable with your own diapers."
"I've got my own diapers," John asked and added, "you mean like monogrammed?"
"You know, I hadn't thought about that so no, no monograms. At least not on your diapers. Anyway, are you ready to get dressed and step back out into the world," Susan asked.
"I thought you'd never ask as John jumped down from the chair. Susan had a hard time even knowing full well that John was in fact a man but there he was and not a hint of it.
"So, let's get you out of that gown then on the bed so I can change that disposable and get you into a proper diaper. OK," Susan said making sure she used the exact words to describe what was about to happen.
"Fair enough," John said putting his arms up so Susan could lift him. For most of his life he'd used a step or running jumps to get into bed. It was nice getting a life.
"I prefer cloth," Susan said taking John's two feet and lifting him so she could slid the diaper under him. After the hell of his transformation he was thrilled over the treatment and that giant window showing him the outside.
"Me to," John said.
"Really," Susan asked.
"No, but I noticed it just made you happy," John added.
"Oh we are going to get along famously," Susan said.
"What," Susan asked.
"I was thinking how cool it would be to take a trip back to my school and some of the places I use to hang out at. Just to see everything with these new eyes and my new look," John said.
"You realize you can never tell anyone about yourself, right," Susan asked.
"I know and that's not necessary. It's just a kind of goodbye to the life I once had," John said.
"That's an excellent idea," Susan said and added, "and as soon as you've been released to view that world, we'll do that."
Susan lowered John's legs and gently spread them apart for his diaper. It was fairly normal as diapers went designed as a 6-8-6 layered pre fold. That 6-8-6 designation were the layers sewn together for the diapers thickness. 6 layers of Birdseye cotton with 8 layers down the middle under another 6 layers of cotton doubler. All the layers forming 20 layers of very soft cotton between John's legs.
John felt the softness against his already sensitive skin and how it laid against his bottom as Susan tugged it snugly between his legs. His new vagina build from his penis still had hundreds of thousands of nerve endings that were now being rubbed by his diaper. He suddenly loved diapers he mused as he wiggled against the material as Susan began covering him in baby powder.
She was an expert at diapering men of all sizes but this was her first diapering a man not much bigger than a toddler and her instincts flared a little. Susan also realized she'd missed an important step and reached for John's new diaper bag to pull his pacifier from it.
She teased the soft nipple against his lips and he accepted it as if it hardly mattered. Those endorphins coupled with the sensations flowing from the lips of his new vagina was layering him in flowing sheets of absolute bliss.
Susan played with the diaper far longer than she needed to before pinning it around John but she knew this was an important time for him. John's first time as a baby coupled with his first time as a little girl would soon blend into his first memories for this day and Susan wanted them perfect.
Susan bent to lift the rumba panties from the bed and began gathering them for John's feet. John was looking at nylon covered plastic and both shimmered differently as the plastic crinkled. The baby powder, still lingering, blended another of his senses to sight and the touch of his diaper as he lifted his feet for Susan.
John's level of cooperation was astounding Susan mused as she slid the ruffled rumba panties over his feet and along his legs. John even lifted his bottom without a word from Susan as she sat his fancy baby panties in place. John, falling in and out of his sexual sensation felt the diaper rub snugly again against the lips of his vagina as Susan tugged the panties a little more.
He could have laid there for the entire day caressing the silky pink nylon but didn't as Susan sat him up for his lacy socks and black strapped Mary Jane shoes. "Definitely a little girl's shoe," John said before adding "never seen anyone past kindergarten wearing those."
"True enough Mary," Susan said making John blush slightly. John sat there looking at the ruffles around his ankle as she buckled his first shoe. The diaper was pushing on his ruffled panties forcing them between his legs to gather there in a silky touch. The pastel pink of his panty against his smooth skin highlighted by his ruffled white sock and shiny black shoes screamed little girl.
"I guess I'm going out in a dress," John asked trying to sound a little sad. He wasn't really sad, but he was sure a guy would not be happy wearing little girl clothes.
"Wait till you see it, but first the slip precious," Susan said before adding, "it's the kind of thing that makes a little girl swish back and forth just for the sound."
"Sound," John asked.
"Taffeta honey. Your slip is made of taffeta, organdy and nylon with tiny bits of lace and strips of adorable pink satin. It's made to swish honey. When I was a little girl not too much bigger than you I would love wearing my slips just so I could twist and turn. You'll see," Susan said.
"So how old am I suppose to look like," John asked, holding the pacifier which made him laugh a little, as he put his arms up for the slip.
"You could, depending on the dress pass easily for a toddler. Maybe three or four. People key off the clothes precious. Your dress is a tiny bit longer than a toddlers so people will most likely guess 5 or 6. If I put you into a dress short enough to show off your diapers then it's going to be toddler. People love ruffled panties on toddler girls," Susan said.
"Wow that is noisy," John said as the slip cascaded down to hang over him. The petticoats flared just above his knee and in a massive ruffled circle making him think of a large flower held upside down. Or perhaps a bell he imagined as he twisted experimentally.
"Isn't it wonderful," Susan asked pulling the dress from the bag that had held the slip. She brought the dress over to John, who was sitting again, and carefully laid it over John's legs allowing him to gather enough of the skirts so it rested on his lap. As he did that Susan quickly pressed the virgasim switch giving John the most intense sensation as the light silky layers slid under his hands.
John, having learned how to manage his own organic orgasm thought the process and shuddered suddenly as his senses were overwhelmed. Between the two inputs the amplification staggered him almost causing him to faint. He still had the pacifier in his mouth and a handful of his dress all feeding him sensations within a swirling of pleasant emotions.
"Is this how it's going to be," John said removing the pacifier.
"If you want, it could be even better. John, right now you're only imagining what the dress feels like on, now why don't you try it on," Susan said as she took hold of the bodice to allow the skirts to fall and take shape again.
John had rationalized his new predicament by focusing on the benefits, the money, prestige, everything but him becoming more girlish, more sissy. Yet here he was he mused and not a hint of those things came into his mind. What did was the soft touch of his warmed diaper, the crinkle of his baby panties, the caress of silks blended with satins flowing over him. Even the wetness of his warm rubber pacifier gave him pause.
His dress tickled him at the back of his legs, over his knees as the soft elastic circled his arm to form his puffy sleeves. the dress circled him like a hug as Susan turned him to close the zipper. Silk lining of his slip slid over his tiny nipples and stomach in a relentless tease.
Little girls in pageants, Shirley Temple, video's of girls in the 1950s flowed through his minds eye as he joined a now elite group of sissies. Or had he?
"Am I a sissy or a transgendered girl," John mused loud enough for Susan to hear him as she pulled his zipper closed.
"There is no legal definition of what you are because most everything is scientifically constructed for your occupation. That we dress you like little girls so you can function in society without having to constantly explain yourself or make other people comfortable is only coincidentally to how you look. What you define within that context is what you are..." Susan said.
"So I could be me, a guy, dressing like a little girl in diapers, or I could be a girl since I've had reconstructive sugary, or a sissy and chose to either like boys or not, girls or not... right," John said.
"That's right or to put it in non legal terms for the sake of the non legal issues you can be male or female and orient yourself in any direction you want. Or, for that matter, in all directions if you want," Susan said and added, "which includes any fetish you can imagine."
"What are you in my context," John asked feeling the warmth he'd had since his orgasm struck him so presently as he added, "I mean if... and this is hypothetical, could we have sex? You know, like a couple?"
"John, I'm your guide through this new world of yours. My experience comes from guiding others, some like you, some not, to their own satisfactions. That saying it takes all kinds to make this world is literal. I enjoyed taking that journey with others, I adore taking this journey with you. Helping you discover what turns you on and turning you on is going to be one of the better reasons I have for doing this," Susan said.
"Would you teach me how to make you happy," John asked.
"I'm doing that right now," Susan said as she closed the single button of John's dress before reaching down to center his wide organza sash as she added, "I've had a couple of orgasms from the moment I put you into your diaper. I'm having one now turning you into a sweet little girl. I'm most likely going to have another when I lay you on your back and lift your skirts to change your diaper."
John felt the sash slip around his waist as Susan evened the edges to fashion it into a large bow. He thought he was ready enough to go over to the closet where a narrow mirror was mounted but Susan held him by his sides.
"Wait," Susan asked.
"For what," John countered.
"For the little girl to emerge," Susan whispered.
"Isn't that what I just did," John asked.
"Hair, next. A pretty bow and a touch of blush, some waxy pink lip gloss and your gloves, then the mirror. Okay," Susan asked.
"Okay," John answered getting excited over the remaining items that would finalize his transformation.
The wig, one of several matching John's original hair was blond cascading to his shoulders in ringlets. Susan fit it to John smoothly fusing with the sides, back and finally his bangs before picking up the large pink hair bow that she clipped at the back.
The weight of the bow gently tugged at his wig adding a new sensation to his growing list and for a second he closed his eyes while he sucked on his pacifier to savor the newness again. He was beginning to feel special, whatever that meant and he smiled as he wondered if little girls might feel what he felt.
"Give me your pacifier," Susan said as she brought John back into his new reality. The term itself made him smile as he looked into Susan's eyes, making her add, "You can have it back after I put your lip gloss on, if you want. When we get home I have a couple of baby bottles of juice or your formula if you'd like to try one of those."
"Can I nurse one while you change my diaper," John asked giggling as he twisted enough to make the dress flow right then left.
"Of course you can. In fact, sweetheart, I insist. My heavens, a baby girl must have her bottle to nurse when she's getting her diaper changed. How else besides the diaper would you know your a baby without a baby bottle! Right," Susan said.
"You do realize I was kidding, right," John said.
“I wasn't,” Susan said pausing to look directly into John's eyes.
“Oh,” John said feeling an erection coming on before he suddenly realized it wasn't there.
"Feels slightly different doesn't it," Susan said as she realized what was happening with John.
"Very different," John said wiggling slightly.
“Are you having sexual fantasies,” Susan said and then added, “what a naughty little girl you are.”
John looked everywhere but into Susan's eyes he felt the heat of his blush even though that too would not be possible.
I'm teasing honey. Now hold still," Susan said leaning in to wax his lips a light pink. Pink was going to be his color today he realized. Pastel pink as he fluffed the skirts of his dress.
“Is that it,” John asked.
“One last thing,” Susan said pulling a small plastic box from her handbag.
“What's that,” John asked.
“Eye brows honey,” Susan said and then added, “I got them from a doll shop. Thought you'd look cuter.”
John held still for the small eyebrows Susan put over his eyes. They were meant for girls so there was already a taper. Like the wig, the brows were meant for girls who had lost their hair for any number of reasons. John was finished as Susan went back to fluffing his skirts.
John's dress, unlike most in his closet was custom made for this day. It incorporated every aspect of a little girl's dress with the special things a sissy boy would need for his first encounter with girl stuff. Susan smiled at John's hands caressing his skirt. It was an involuntary action created by the exaggerated flair from his slips under the layers of his skirts.
The slip itself was taffeta for the noise over ruffled layers of organdy to make three petticoats. Between the organdy and his legs was a layer of lingerie nylon that slid easily over his panties.
“I'm a little nervous,” John said and then added, “you'd think after this many years getting laughed at I'd be use to it.”
“Honey, trust me, no one is going to laugh at you. Some may even get teary eyed but I'll guarantee no one will laugh,” Susan said.
“What makes you say that,” John asked.
“Hey, go stand in front of that mirror again and point out the funny things to me,” Susan said.
Chapter: John Meets Mary
John did as he was told and moved right in front of the mirror. There before him looking back was a living doll. Nothing, not a shred of him was left. Standing before him was an absolutely adorable little girl who could easily stand in line for a movie, school, anything. He felt himself swooning over his looks and that dress, he mused as he wiggled his hands in the folds, was to die for.
“Now then precious, which parts are the funny parts,” Susan asked standing behind him.
“Is that really me,” John asked.
'Yes John and now you see why I must insist on calling you Mary,” Susan said.
“Yes ma'am,” John said looking up into her eyes from the mirror.
“Come on and take my hand and lets show you to the world,” Susan said reaching for John's hand.
They left the room hand in hand and the instant he stepped into the hallway he saw the people. It was a hundred feet to the elevator from his room and both sides were lined with men and women. They began clapping, cheering, rooting as Susan tugged him gently to begin their walk.
She looked down at an uncomfortable little girl..
“These are all the people who have been involved in your transformation. For them this is your ceremonial walk and graduation,” Susan said before adding, “congratulations. Now wave and smile.”
John did. He felt like a princess in a parade as his skirts swished against his legs in that long slow walk to the elevator. He didn't recognized anyone from the process and was blown away by the number of people.
“Several floors up,” Susan said pressing the button as the elevator doors slowly closed, ending the uproar that remained constant for the entire walk.
The mirrored walls silenced his questions as he carefully fluffed his skirt and moved a leg. Susan, knowing the moves and the reasons behind them smiled to herself. In all of her years as a dominate she had come to know two truths, no man is truly without a sense of appreciation for woman's clothes when they wear them, and few can resist the sensations once they do.
“Now what,” John asked.
“A couple of weeks to recuperate and appreciate what has happened to you, then off to your technical school and military training,” Susan said as they reached the top floor of the facility which was actually the first floor of a ten story building.
They rode in Susan's custom electric cart which was not too unlike a golf cart with an enclosed body. The drive took almost thirty minutes to go across the large military expanse. Off to John's right was a vast launching facility with a half dozen military lift rockets sitting at gantries. To his left an equally vast military complex of unknown buildings and coming into view – homes.
As Susan slowed and drove down what might have been a normal residential street John began taking notice of the people... There were no men and to John's initial surprise – no boys. It took a moment for John to realize that the women talking to each other across small picket fences while their little girls played, were most likely members of the same program and like him.
“Are those little girls.... you know, like me,” John asked.
“Every one of them Mary. There is a welcoming party this afternoon and a barbeque in the evening so you can get to know your fellow sailors as it were,” Susan said as she turned the cart onto a driveway as she added, “and this is home.”
John had no luggage or mementos from his slow and sometimes painful trip through his medical transformation and as they made their way into the house John began wondering if it had even been real. The mirrors decorating the entrance said otherwise as he once again stopped to look. He wasn't sure if he could ever get use to how he looked or what he'd looked like before this.
Little girls and mirrors,” Susan said with a snicker before adding, “come on and lets go see your room.”
John followed down the hall to the first door on his left. Susan opened the door to his room and it caused him to gasp. Conflicts rose instantly over the decor then a snicker that came from the mirrored image he saw a moment later. No, he mused, this was a room for the likes of me.
Facing his canopied bed he looked from left to right. A large window faced the street and just below it a comfortable bench decorated with pillows and a pastel colored rag doll. On either side of the window large pictures of Unicorns with smaller ones below.
To the extreme left edging near where the door rested open was a cute writing table with a pinkish laptop sitting open. More pictures, book shelves above and books. He would explore those books later. On either side of the bed nightstands with a tall narrow dresser to the left and a larger one to the right. Just to the dressers edge was a door leading into a large brightly lit and very pink bathroom.
Past that door further to the right was another door opened to a large walk in closet. The lighting in the closet was bright like the bathroom and clearly showed dozen's of softly colored dresses with shoes below. Straight ahead, against the back wall of the closet hung slips on hangers, some petticoats clipped to the hangers with full bouffant slips with their attached petticoats hanging on their own. On the shelf above the slips wigs on Styrofoam heads.
His last piece of furniture was a mirrored vanity already harboring girlish things. He knew most of it was makeup but had to guess at some of their functions. It shocked him a little and he wanted to ask about the makeup but a knock on the front door caught his attention as Susan turned to walk towards it. There was a woman standing with another little girl as Susan reached the open door.
Chapter: A Little Girl's Life
Knock, knock,” the woman said as John stepped back into the hall more to gain a better view. The woman waited till Susan was near before she said, “sorry to interrupt but we've changed the party location to Janet Berger's place. She is the MBSE supervisor for Group Ten. Base Facilities is working on Helen's sink in the kitchen.”
Thanks Jill. You want to come in for a moment? I'll introduce you to Mary,” Susan said. Susan looked down the hall at John giving him butterfly's as he watched the other little girl watching him.
Of course he knew she wasn't or rather he wasn't a little girl any more than he was but it was impossible to tell. He wondered if that's how he looked to her or him. She was in a childish romper with a kitten on the font wearing strap white shoes and plane white socks.
“Mary,” Susan beckoned, causing John to turn and walk towards her and their guest.
“Mary this is Jill and her little girl Sandy,” Susan said before adding, “and Jill, Sandy, this is my little girl Mary.”
“Hello Mary, nice to meet you at last,” Jill said and then added, “Sandy come out of the program just before you. You'll both be attending boot camp together. You'll be part of Graduating Group Ten. They say this is the last year before the first group starts to retire.
"Five per ship, right," Susan asked as she began to recall her own training.
"Exactly. Twenty ships in the fleet, Twenty one with the next launch in eighteen weeks. Five per ship so far, one hundred total in the program at any one given time but I think that's going to top out at one hundred and ten. This group, graduation group ten, is adding a total of seven. Five on the next ship and two will be used to rotate throughout the fleet.," Jill said as handed Susan the invitation.
"Going to be fun.. The party that is. I guess I'm looking forward to the time off while they are in training. Meanwhile I've got a party dress to get ready," Susan said before adding, "why don't you come in and have a cup of coffee and let the little ones break the ice?"
"I will," Jill said as she followed Susan into the kitchen.
"So what's your boy name Mary," Steven asked.
"John," John said.
"Mines Steven," Steven said.
"You don't use your girl name," John asked.
"Only when we have to. I guess a couple of the guys are really into it but not all," Steve noted.
"Nice room," Steven said as she pulled a small chair out after lifting the stuffed bear from it. John now seeing himself more as Mary did the same with a Betsi Wetsi doll. John laughed.
"What," Sandy asked.
"The tea set... Should we pretend we're having tea," John asked.
"It's okay if you don't want to act like a little girl.. We, that is me and the other guys, mostly only do it for practice. You know, for the time when we might go outside the base," Sandy said.
"So you don't... you know, act like a girl," Mary asked.
"I do and I don't," Steven said and then added, "you've noticed it like the rest of us. If you're wearing a dress and petticoats, it makes it kind of mandatory to move around like a girl. Same with bending over and stuff. Last thing I want someone to see is ruffled panties over a diaper."
"You wear ruffle panties all the time," John asked.
"Jill loves them. Tell you the truth I don't mind the diapers. Makes it kind of convenient. Tell me you don't miss trying to reach the urinals outside, or climb a dirty toilet. I'm glad those days are gone," Steven said.
"I don't. I don't miss any of it," John suddenly said as he realized he didn't.
"So John, you played with your plug yet," Steven asked.
"No. I just now thought about it. Not even sure if I can remember how the damn thing works," John said.
"Want some help," Steven asked.
"Help," John asked.
"Didn't they explain the plug to you," Steven asked.
"Not yet. I think I was suppose to review things with Susan tonight," John said.
"Okay, so here is the four one one on the plug.. Steven started to say.
"What four one one," John asked.
"Silly. Phone companies information service. You know, you dial four one one for service," Steven said and then added, "anyway, you stimulate the plug with Alpha Waves or you, or a friend, say someone like me, can push on the plugs end," Steven said but added, "which requires kissing and rubbing our diapers together."
"Wait? What," John said in a shocked voice.
"Kidding. Maybe. A little," Steven said as he fluffed his skirt and slips. He was batting his eyes at John and smiling as he added, "so I'm guessing you were straight when they recruited you?"
"I guess so," John said.
"I'm gay. That is I was so I still am, only it's harder to find someone to play with now," Steven said and added, "Jerry and I like to play so we share a strap on occasionally but it doesn't hurt to find others... We're a pretty small community,"
"Strap on," John asked.
"You know, a nice firm rubber member - a dildo for sissy guys. We alternate the top and bottom," Steven said before adding, "although Jerry prefers the top more. He really misses being a guy so he plays one a lot. For me it 's all about the bottom. I mean I was a sissy before this so being a cute one now has some advantages, but I miss having my own member."
"So you guys have sex," John said a little shocked.
"Duh? As often as we can little sister. Trust me John once you learn to turn yourself on you'll be turning yourself on a lot, but it gets boring without a little bit of stimulating and a whole lot of variety. For me its' being a sissy with another sissy. You know, lots of frills, fondling, kissing and poking around," Steven said as he added, "feeling it yet?"
"I did," John said as he added, "when you were talking just then.. you know, about the fondling and kissing I got a nice jolt."
"See, I'll bet I could turn into a sissy in no time," Steven said and added, "nothing too scary. Just a tube of lipstick and a little fondly, rubbing and lots of caressing and we'll get that simulator of yours smoking."
"It just did it again," John said licking his lips over the sensation. It was as if he was being stroked while Steven talked as he added, "if just talking can do this, I can't even imagine what doing those things will do?"
"Have you talked with your trainer about her virgasim wrist control yet," Steven asked.
"No? What's that," John asked.
"It's her button to press your button. She wears it on her wrist. It's a control unit linked to your new vagina that lets her turn you on remotely. It's a Pavlov's dog kind of thing. We're not suppose to know about it but my trainer Jill told me about it so she could use it more. She likes seeing me squirm. Next time you're getting your diaper changed ask her to press her virgasim," Sandy said.
"When you said Pavlov's dog, what did that mean," John asked.
"You don't know about Pavlov's Dog? John, honey, the whole program here is about Pavlov's dog! Wow, where to begin.....
Okay, first there is Ivan Pavlov, some kind of famous psychologist that learned that you could influence behavior through some kind of rewards system. You know, if you do this, I'll give you that. He trained dogs to do things for treats, which is pretty straight forward, but he also found that if you gave a dog a treat and rang a bell, after time the bell would get the same response from the dog.
In a way, they do the same things...," Steven said and then paused.
"Who does," John asked still a little confused.
"Our trainers John, our trainers. Okay, look, the ladies we're living with have been trained to train us. They are teaching us to act like little girls because we look like little girls, right," Steven asked.
"Right," John said and added, "because we look like little girls."
"Exactly," Steven said and then he added, "but we're not little girls, we're guys, right? Right! So, in order for us to really like pretty little dresses and diapers and getting diapered and wearing lipstick and all the other things we're doing, they tie it to these devices that stimulate our sexual responses.
"But I do sort of like it," John said.
"All the better, for you. Even better for me because I was a sissy before I got to dress like one. There are guys that don't like dressing like sissies or getting tapped or pinned into diapers, so they get the sex button. For us it's a bonus. For the guys that don't want to be like little girls they get their behavior changed," Steven said.
"So the stimulus elicits a response? Okay, I get that and that's Pavlov's dog," John said.
"Precisely. Each of us carried in the baggage we had before the program. You're straight so you're not keen on doing gay things. If you didn't cross dress before you might not like being cross dressed now. I'm gay so I'm keen on doing gay things, but not all gays like being sissies and you've got to be a little bit sissy to really like wearing these things," Steven said.
"So everything we were outside, we are inside, even though we all dress the same now," John said smiling as he began to realize how different he would be to the other guys dressing like little girls and yet how similar they were as he added, "so it's possible then to like what we did even though I'm not gay and you are?"
"Exactly. It's all about the sex John. It's all about the sex. Look at it this way, we all get off for the same reasons, because it feels really good, but the way we get off is different. What you and I just did was find a way to get each other off which, by the say, is the same for both of us, while ignoring that we are different most times," Steven said.
"So it doesn't matter that you are gay or that I am straight," John said.
"That's exactly right. We orient differently but our members or rather our new vagina's don't care how they get there, just as long as they get there," Steven said.
"So when can we do that again," John asked.
Steven was about to answer when a voice cried out....
"Sandy," Jill yelled from the hallway as she added, "we've got to go!"
"Keep that thought," Steven said as he got up, moved around the table to John to gently kiss him. The kiss got firmer as Steven pushed his pelvis against John's forcing John to push back. He kept kissing as well as his stimulator fired another pulse.
Steven broke away, moved back for another quick peck and laughed as he added, "I'm thinking we really need some more alone time,"
"I'm thinking you're right and I'm still a little nervous," John said.
"Okay, while you're thinking about that, think about this... Girls kiss and hug each other all the times. We can do that now because they've made us more like girls. The only difference is when we're kissing like we did just now, we get to rub our pelvises together," Steven said as he turned for the door.
"See you," John said.
"Later," Steven said.
"I'm looking forward to it," John said watching Steven turn and leave his room. John followed but stayed by his door as Steven reached Jill and took her hand. Steven was skipping away like a little girl as they headed for the car. John blushed when Steven turned and waved before getting into the car.
"So did you have fun meeting you new little friend," Susan asked.
"I did," John said and then looked up at Susan and said, "but I'm really wet!"
"I'm guessing you and her diddled a little then," Susan said and then laughed.
"I did," John said turning back into his room as Susan walked past to grab a diaper off the shelf. John watched and felt the pangs of a growing orgasm again just thinking about getting diapered.
John thought back to his earlier days when he started making decisions to dress as a child. In the beginning it was logical to do so to avoid the constant looks he got dressing adult. He had developed a tolerance for the quick glances but he knew he'd never like them. That's when dressing as a child came to him. And to his delight long ago it mostly worked. The only time it didn't was when he did something that a child would never do like climb up on a bar stool and order a beer.
"Susan, what makes you decide when to press that virgasim button," John asked and then added, "Steven told me about it."
"Well, I was taught to try and encourage a positive response from you during moments of possible negative responses. Like making it pleasant to change your diapers. Remember in the beginning you were not keen on wearing them," Susan said.
"I remember," John said as he took the pacifier Susan had picked up. She didn't put it in his mouth as she had but simply handed it to him as she lifted him to the changing table.
Susan sat John on the thin changing table pad and gave John a moment to lay back and spread his legs. John slipped the pacifier into his mouth and then spread his legs for Susan who then folded his skirts and slips back over his chest to expose his ruffled panties, vinyl diaper cover and diaper.
Can you press the button on my virgasim while you put me into a diaper," John asked. as felt his orgasm growing.
"I most certainly can," Susan said moving the thumb on the hand that wore the stimulator. Moving the thumb moved a ligament that triggered the stimulator and just as John was slipping the pacifier back into his mouth a very pleasant jolt caused him to shiver in pleasant surprise as Susan asked, "does my little girl like getting her diaper changed?"
"Oh yes, she does," John said taking the pacifier out to answer.
John half closed his eyes as he savored the sensations. He felt Susan pulling his panties down first, then her unsnapping his plastic panties and her fusing with his diaper pins. He was sucking vigorously on his pacifier while both hands caressed his skirts and slips. There was another shudder from his own stimulation created from the plug.
How could anyone not like this? John mused as he felt the sodden diaper peel away from his skin. The baby wipes, oil and powder were each bits of stimulus when he suddenly decided he wanted to wear a disposable diaper.
"Susan, can I have a disposable this time," John asked.
"Absolutely," Susan said turning back to the closet to grab a tapped on diaper. She turned back towards John and teased him a little about the sweet Disney princesses he was about to be taped into as she added, "are you turning into my little girl or a cute little sissy boy?"
"I think a sissy," John said giggling as he lifted his bottom for the girlish plastic backed diaper. It was the crinkling that pleased him as Susan maneuvered the diaper under him before taping the sides together. John, so doll like, could wear single tape baby diapers which thrilled Susan as much as putting him into dresses.
"There we go my little sissy boy," Susan said playing on John's fantasy as she added, "come on and you can help me bake a cake for the party."
John and Susan could hear the party music as they neared the house...
"Hi Mary, I'm Janet Berger, MBSE supervisor for Group Ten and welcome to my house, Janet said taking John's hand as she added, "you look so adorable."
"Thank you," John said blushing. Would he ever not blush he wondered as Janet ushered them into the middle of the group.
John looked at the women and little girls filling the living room, dining room and coning in and out of the kitchen. Janet stepped up and began going from little girl to little girl giving their boy name first then their little girl names: This is Brandon as Brenda, Allen as Alice, Steven as Sandy. Jerry as Joan, Bobby as Barbie, and Terry as Tracy
John blushed when he made eye contact with Steven. Steven was in a little girl's party dress in a pastel yellow. The boy Jerry, called Joan, John noted, wore a cute frilly mint green, while all the rest of the boys wore pinks in different shades.
"So how's it going," Steven asked coming up close enough that when he swished his skirts they rubbed against John's noisily.
"Good," John said and added, "that's a cute dress.
"Thanks. Yours too. Say John, Jerry and I are having a sleep over. Bobby, or Barbie, might also come. You interested," Steven asked.
"Sure," John said as he pondered the event and then asked, "games?"
"Games? Are you kidding. Lots of contact sports. There will be massive amounts of playful contact if that's what you are wondering. Oh, and bring lots of diapers. We are going to change each other and we are sure to be wet often. Is any of that going to be a problem," Steven asked.
"No," John said as Steven press closer to crush his dress against John's. John had learned some of the mental moves to force an orgasm and he did so as Steven pushed his skirts and petticoats against Johns. John shuddered. The little girl boy named Jerry came up and snickered....
"Get a room," Jerry said.
The party broke up at nine that night. There was a lot of laughter and games to keep the mood light. Boot came was scheduled to start that Saturday. Just before the party ended Janet Berger, MBSE supervisor for Group Ten, brought out two Patti Play Pal dolls dressed in two different uniforms:
The first was a kind of lavender tunic with a matching jacket that went over a tight pair of pants ending snugly around the ankles. Both the jacket and tunic carried the Space Corps logo.
"You'll get these uniforms Saturday when you sign in for boot camp," Janet said as she held the doll up so all the boys could see her as she added, "the second uniform is your working outfit on board the space ship."
The second was a tight fitting one piece uniform that zipped from the neck to the crouch. It looked more like a scuba suit than a space suit but then Janet showed them the helmet that sealed to the neck. It was in a pastel yellow.
They would wear special diapers designed for maximum absorption to allow them to work longer and stay drier. Over the diaper they'd wear a kind of rip stop nylon union suit that would be stepped into once they were diapered.
There was a tool vest that was zipped on and emergency oxygen tubes that were held at the back. The party broke up then as each boy joined with his trainer and left the party. They days between the party and Slumber party left John excited and nervous. Excited about the slumber party, nervous about boot camp.
"Today's the big day," Susan said patting John's cute bottom. It was his first time in panties.
John was going to do his chores in a diaper but when he opened his panty drawer he saw the days of the week set and decided to wear the lavender pair with Wednesday on them. There was something special about caressing himself over panties as he looked through his dresses for which to wear.
Two days passed uneventful as John and Susan fuss with clothes and the house while getting John's over night bag ready for his party. Susan had gotten him a retro baby doll set with matching bloomers to wear. It was colored in a soft pastel teal and pink.
What made it even better than most baby doll sets was the sheer button jacket adding a third silken layer to the outfit. Even the panties had two layers with the first in a nice lingerie nylon under a sheer organdy. The lace of the panties was attached to the sheer layer. Rubbing the top layer over the bottom layer left him breathless and dying to try them on. He didn't, deciding to leave that pleasure for when he was with the other little girls.
Chapter: Sleep Over
"Hey, are you ready," Susan yelled from the door.
John had gotten use to running in a full skirt and had come to enjoy the feel of his petticoats bouncing. He wore his panties again but carried a diaper bag with plenty of diapers as Steven had said. Susan had laughed and reminded John that his "plug" that allowed him his multiple orgasms a day only limited him to sixteen.
John nodded and laughed but it was true about wanting to find a work around for plugs safety features. When he had truly learned how to manipulate his orgasms he had cramps in his legs from keeping the plug on contentiously. Those cramps came from the two minutes of each orgasms till he hit the twenty four hour limit of sixteen. Susan had to rub his legs for nearly an hour before they stopped hurting.
The second day was only slightly better as was the third and forth. By the fifth day he was having an orgasm hourly when he was awake. After that he'd have a few before bed or when he was day dreaming of the other boy/girls that he'd met and was now Play Booking on their private net.
Play booking was a forum for the little girls on the base and according to the everyone John asked if it was private. He knew it wasn't but it was left uncensored and there were some really good artist in their group. John was a member of several groups: I like being babied, I like frilly dresses and I like breast feeding were some of the groups. I like my plug was his favorite.
John had developed a fetish for disposable diapers that had plastic backs and frilly baby pants over cloth diapers. He loved his frilly dresses and had posted images of each one over no less than three triple layered petticoats. Susan had helped him order two newer dresses that had been exactly measured to rest just above his diapers.
John wore one of those "little" dresses with his panties and laughed knowing that if Steven kept his word he was going to get a handful of panty and not diapers and giggled over that...
"What," Susan asked as she walked with him to Jill and Steven's house.
"Steven, I mean Sandy was teasing me on the net last night that he's going to grab me over my diapers when he sees me," John said.
"And you are wearing panties," Susan said smiling.
"And I am wearing panties," John said feeling sexually excited as their turned for the walkway to Jill and Sandy's house.
John knocked on the door and off in the distance was a muffled "I've got it!"
Steven opened the door and gleefully yelled that it was Susan and Mary before rushing forward to hug John. John hugged back but in that same instant he felt Steven dip down and ease a hand under his dress and slip.
"Hello precious," Steven whispered in John's ear. There was a pause before he added, "why you little sissy, you're in panties?
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting a diaper under there," John asked snickering.
"All right you to, plenty of times for that later. Get inside before you get arrested for lewd and lascivious acts in public," Susan said ushering both little girls into the house past the door that she closed.
In the living room was Steven's gay boy friend Jerry, Bobby who preferred being called Barbie all the times and of course John and Steven. Bobby blushed crimson at seeing John and John had found himself blushing as well. They had hit it off in one of the forums and had found themselves discussing how to elicit an orgasm in disposable diapers.
In their on line discussions one thing led to another and the first thing they'd talked about trying was taking turns being the top or bottom and pretending intercourse. The images of Barbie on her back first which had come out of their drawing electronic straws was the cause of John's blush. Barbie smiled and gave an embarrassed wave.
"Sandy, take Mary's bags up to your room," Jill said before adding, "come on into the kitchen so we don't intimidate these naughty little girls."
"Tell me about it," Susan said looking sternly at John who blushed again.
"What," John said innocently.
"Come on Mary, help me with your bags," Steven said twisting aggressively in his skirts so they and his slips were flaring dangerously high. Clearly he was diapered John mused as he triggered the second of his sixteen orgasms. He'd tried to hold off but that grab had taken him to the edge and he knew when they reached Steven's room he'd try another.
"Cute room," John said coming into the light lavender and soft gray baby's room, Steven slept in a crib John noted as he sat his bag down next to his sleeping bag role. He'd gotten a "Hello Kitty" sleeping bag as he pulled on the bow that allowed it to unroll. John had bent over rather than kneel.
John felt the contact first with Steven's hands on either side of John's waist then the diaper pushing against his bottom. The crinkling sound mixed with Steven's moans as we started moving slowly up and down. John gently straightened, turned and both lifted their skirts and slips before pressing against each other again. They kissed deeply as John triggered this third and then forth orgasm to match Steven's.
It lasted nearly five minutes before both sissies had satisfied their desperate first contact.
"That was nice," Steven said.
"Very," John added.
"Has it only been five days," Steven asked.
"I know, right," John said.
"Girls! Party strips are ready," Jill yelled from the kitchen.
John, Steven, Jerry and Bobby sat around the kitchen table with a large platter of what looked like wooden spoons arrayed in pretty pastel colors. Each helped the other tie on their bibs and lay napkins in their laps as Jill came over to stand between John and Steven.
"the pink is desert so leave those for last. That's cake. The ice cream sticks are being chilled. The tan and brown are hot dogs and hamburgers and there light purple are fries and tater tots. She sat a paper cup down in front of each telling them that was punch
The sticks were designed to stimulate and simulate food receptors so they tasted like you were putting something very real in your mouth. John picked up the hot dog stick and slipped it in his mouth. The stick was warm and John was instantly flooded with the sensation of a hot dog and bun with mustard.
It was delicious as was the fries and tots. after his second hot dog and third fries stick his programming signaled he was getting full. The same was happening with the other little girls as each started fingering the cake sticks. Jill brought out the ice cream sticks and the sensations gave John goose bumps as vanilla ice cream chilled his mouth.
Just before sleep John, like the other little girls would nurse a bottle of formula that included a lubricant and other mixes in the white fluid to move through his bodies systems. As it wore out it would pass through to his diaper. Until then John sucked on another cake stick as Bobby started sliding his lacy sock over John's leg.
"I'm getting tired," John said yawning.
"Me too," Bobby added.
"I am to," Steven said as Jerry nodded.
"Oh oh, am I hearing play time," Jill said and then snickered as she gathered up the four baby bottles that the boys would carried to Steven's room for there night feeding.
"I'll see you in the morning," Susan said kissing John on the forehead.
"Good night Susan," John said as he turned to hurry up the stairs with the other three. John slowed so he was two steps below Steven to watch him climb the steps. The diaper he wore shifted and folded delightfully as each step was taken. He'd become such a sissy he mused and it was Steven's fault.
Each boy went into their separate diaper bags and found their own particular diaper to wear under their nightgowns. John, blushing looked at Bobby who smiled shyly back. Both had developed a fondness for plastic backed disposable diapers. They had shared that much in the forum. The older style disposables crinkled more was the reason and each had one in their hand.
Steven and Jerry were off by Jerry's sleeping bag changing each other into cloth diapers that would be covered in plastic panties but it was clear they'd never get that far as Steven took the time to cup Jerry's small Vagina before he began to rub. They were kissing.
John felt the heat of his excitement as he sat over his own diaper with his legs spread. Bobby sat his diaper down and slid over on his knees to where John was. Bobby was between John's legs as he tugged on John's diaper. There was some muted giggling as Bobby began diapering John. With the diaper taped closed Bobby bent further and kissed John softly.
John, with his eyes closed to the kiss felt Bobby's fingers pressing into him over the diaper which moved the soft padding of the diaper to act like a soft caress.
"Do you like that" Bobby ask John.
"Definitely," John said as Bobby slowly rubbed John over his diaper.
"Do me now," Bobby said as he straightened before leaning to gather his diaper and hand it to John.
"Lay down you little sissy," John whispered as he unfolded the diaper and smoothed it flat. John's hands had a slight nervous trimmer as John diapered his sissy friend.
"You're the sissy," Bobby whispered back picking up his baby bottle. John did the same as they changed their positrons. Both boys laid side by side but in opposite directions so they could rub each other while nursing their baby bottles. The mutual rubbing and crinkling while nursing their baby bottles was exciting both.
John was rubbing Bobby until he slipped a finger under the soft disposable and began rubbing Bobby under the diaper. Bobby squirmed but began doing the same to john who in turn also squirmed. Bobby was the first to lay his baby bottle down so he could turn and lay on top of John.
Bobby was straddling John, pressing his diaper against John's. In that positron he began sliding his diaper over John's. More crinkling and soft moans reached each others ears. John had orgasms six more times before they stopped to put themselves in their baby doll sets.
They were laying side by side again caressing each others nipples with the layered nightgowns with one hand, palm open, while masturbating themselves still within the glow of their sexual release. They were both exhausted and nearly asleep when Steven's voice caught their attention.
"Where did you get that," Steven said to Jerry causing both Bobby and John to look over at the other two.
Steven was holding his nightgown up against his chest and sitting with his diaper unpinned with Jerry on his knees between Steven's legs. In his hand was a long narrow pink dildo.
"It belongs to Marge. When I saw it I asked if I could bring it to our sleep over," Jerry said and then added, "I have the alcohol wipes as well. It's big isn't it?"
"Have you tried it," Steven asked.
"You've got to be kidding me," John said.
"Wait, what's it doing," Bobby asked as the pink dildo began a slow undulating rotation in Jerry's hand.
Bobby looked at John and both sat up to move closer to where Jerry and Steven sat. Jerry was moving it towards Steven in a tease.
"Are you going to use it," Steven asked watching in rapt fascination at the undulating rubber penis moved closer.
"On you, you little sissy," Jerry said as he aimed it as his friend while leaning towards his diaper bag. He came back with a lavender tube similar to a tooth paste tube that was labeled vaginal lubricant. He flipped the lid with a finger nail, squeezing a small amount right on the moving tip as Steven cringed.
"I'm not sure about this," Steven said as he leaned back so his arms and hands were supporting the angle. He spread his legs wider. Jerry lifted Steven's night gown with one hand as he moved the glimmering tip to Steven's vagina and stopped just as he pressed it gently against Steven's vaginal lips. The tip rotating slightly began to slide inside of Steven.
"Silly little sissy.... as if you had a choice," Jerry said pushing the dildo deeper.
"Oh, damn," Steven said closing his eyes and arching a little while his head went back. At least four inches had been pushed inside as Bobby and John watched with rapt attention. John shivered as if cold while Bobby was sliding a finger inside of his diaper.
"Feel good," Jerry asked as Steven laid back fully. Jerry laid along side still holding the dildo inside of his friend but was now sliding it slowly in and out.
"I'm going to faint," Steven whispered.
"I hadn't realized we could do that," John said feeling the pleasant sensation of sexual excitement gaining his attention as he watched Jerry simulate intercourse with Steven.
"We're girls now," Bobby whispered and added, "and.... and I want to try that."
Steven groaned softly, arched so his back came up off his sleeping bag as his groan changed to a moaning sound to a hum. Imagining the sensations Steven was going through was enough for John to have his own orgasm, with a growing desire to have that dildo inside of him as well.
"Can I try it," Bobby asked as Jerry began cleaning the dildo after pulling it free of Steven.
"Hold on, let me clean it," Jerry said moving for the alcohol wipes. They were pop-ups and Jerry pulled two from the plastic container. He wiped it generously before handing it to Bobby along with the tube of gel.
"Here, give it to me and lay back," John said reaching for the pink rubber penis. It had a little heft as John inspected it. Bobby lifted his baby doll and untapped his diaper on both sides before laying back.
"There is a button at the end of it," Jerry said pointing where John was holding it. John pushed it and immediately the dildo began it's undulating again. John almost dropped it but instead held it near Bobby as he opened the tube of lubricant and squeezed a small amount of the circling tip.
"Push it right against Bobby's opening and let it circle his lips a little before you push it in," Jerry said by way of encouragement. Bobby was on his back but he had raised himself a little to watch what John was doing as John moved it to Bobby's vaginal channel. The instant the tip touched his vaginal lips Bobby jumped.
"Did that hurt," John asked nervously.
"No," Bobby said and then added, "I'm really sensitive down there... Oh, yes." Bobby added as he closed his eyes.
John's own vagina seemed to tingle on it's own as he gently pushed the dildo slowly into his friend. It had brought with it a sudden realization that he, like the others was now on the receiving end of intercourse. He had internalized his transformation when Susan had dressed him to leave the hospital dressed like a little girl but not to the extent he was now.
It was one thing to wear girl's dresses, girl's lingerie and pretend the feminine movements he was practicing with Susan's help but this.... this was the only thing a boy couldn't do.... until now that is. He had a vagina he mused as he began pulling the dildo to it's tip before pushing it gently back inside of Bobby.
Bobby was moaning and pushing his hips up to meet the steady strokes John managed. John was desperate to try it as Bobby ached. He reached out to put his hand on John's before pressing it further inside to hold it there. Bobby shuddered, held there for a moment and then collapsed. His breathing was rapid and raspy.
"I've got to get one of those," Bobby whispered.
"Tell me about it," Steven said.
"That one was new and Marge gave it to me," Jerry said as he added, "she called it a girl gift."
"Now me," John said as he extended his hand for the alcohol wipes. He too wiped it generously before he took the lubricant and squeezed a dollop of it over the soft rubber tip. Bobby sat up and moved closer taking the dildo from John so he could lay down.
Like the others, John opened his legs while holding himself up with his arms to watch Bobby start to touch his vaginal lips. John wasn't sure what to expect till the sudden sharp current of a sensation surged through him. Nothing before that moment had felt like that as it caused him to arch his back. It was involuntary as was the mew that came out of his mouth.
The sensations only grew as the tip entered him. John wanted it deeper and pushed more firm against Bobby's hand holding the dildo. It slipped in till it suddenly touched the plug inside and all hell broke loose. John stiffened, arched to his fullest and tried desperately to silence the yell but he couldn't stop it completely as the sensations overwhelming his senses.
Bobby, sensing John's climax pushed firmly in and then pulled to the tip before pushing it in again. Each cycle caused John to moan. John's moans caused Bobby to lick his lips and he too made a mewing sound as he triggered his own orgasm. Bobby, one last time, pulled the dildo out and sat back. John collapsed.
Bobby cleaned the dildo and Jerry took it from him to hand it to Steven. Jerry laid back as Steven squeezed the jell before touching it against Jerry. Like the others Jerry made his own sounds as the other three watched in silent fascination. Bobby and John both were gently rubbing themselves slowly savoring their past experience as Jerry began to reach his.
In the aftermath of Jerry's orgasm all three boys joined him in the silence. It was as if they had passed through a portal that was impossible to explain but clearly felt. It was Steven who cleared his throat.
"Well, I guess that really makes us girls," Steven said softly.
"I guess it does," Bobby whispered.
John merely nodded. The words reached his ears and swirled within his thoughts.... I guess that makes us girls, he mused.
By morning John and Bobby had orgasms to their full allocation of sixteen and were exhausted. They were in their nightgowns and robes for breakfast. John was wearing a fresh diaper as he got patted by Bobby when he went for his chair. There were baby food jars sitting at each place and on the jar read baby's eggs with a touch of bacon. They ate in silence savoring the night's antics. They had slept but it hadn't been till just a few hours ago that John had fallen asleep.
Each took a shower and dressed with each others help. Lipstick was passed around as each did their girly administrations. It felt different somehow as the memory of that rubber penis reminded them of their new status. The lipstick was exciting still but it almost acted like a period to their night as if on the end of a sentence.
John smiled and leaned in to kiss Bobby. Bobby kissed back as Steven and Jerry kissed. Jerry moved closer to John and they kissed as Steven kissed Bobby. They packed in silence and made their way to the living room. The sleep over had officially ended as they waited for their rides.
Jill pondering the silence knew that the boy girls had spent the night exploring their sexuality and she knew after Marge's call that Jerry had brought one of her dildos to add to their pleasure and clearly it had. She had heard the moans and knew those sounds and what caused them. She had made those very same noises at some point in her life and smiled. She was smiling over the little girls that had suddenly stepped over that line while trying to understand it.
There were brief conversations with each Trainer as they came to pick up their charges. When John's Trainer Susan came to pick him up Jill shared what she knew. When they got home Susan changed John into a fresh cloth diaper covered in a blush pink snap on pair of baby pants and put him to bed for a nap. John slept almost the entire day.
John's dreams, or just the one dream that he remembered was of him as a girl....
Chapter: Boot Camp
John, Steven, Jerry and Bobby fell in with the other new MBSE Brandon, Allen and Terry. The eighth candidate, Brad, was hospitalized for injuries suffered in an automobile accident right after being recruited and would not be going on till the next group of trainees.
All the candidates were dressed in their small uniforms and diapered in disposables as per regulations. They had learned that morning they were all slated for the newest Ship the Targaryen Dragon. The Dragon was named in honor of a series that ran for a time in the last decade. It was said that the Admiral of the fleet was fond of that fantasy series.
The six little girls stood loosely in a straight line as a gargantuan size woman approached in a traditional dress blue Navy's uniform but with a skirt. For boot camp the little girls had been fitted with their lavender tunics under their matching jacket that went over a tight pair of pants ending snugly around the ankles. Per regulations the jacket and tunic carried the Space Corps logo with a bright pink dragon above their name tags. It was their new ships logo they were told.
"Listen up! I am your drill instructor. I am not your mother, nor your trainer, I will not be changing your diapers and you will not be sucking on these breast. You will call me ma'am! Is that understood," Sergeant Hazel Bedford said walking from one end of the line to the other. All the little girls yelled: Ma'am, yes ma'am!"
Sergeant Bedford turned and walked to the middle to yell, "Attention, left face, forward march." They did close order drills till lunch then were marched to the chow hall. Space Corps Marines mixed with ships crew went silent and simply stared as the seven little girls led by their burly Sergeant as they marched past to a table set aside with a partition.
There were bit of conversations overheard as the girls settled in front of their baby food jars and sippy cups. "they lost their penises.... they look like dolls.... I heard they've got a vagina .... If I wake up looking like that, shoot me.... One of the women very near when they sat said "they looked adorable as little girls."
After lunch they were taken to a building with mockup constructions that simulated ladders and crawl spaces. The balance of the day was learning to move about within the confines of a ship. For the remainder of that week they drilled and built up the stamina to move about a ship in space. Boot came for the little girls of Space Corps lasted three weeks having started within the regular boot camp schedule so theirs ended with the regulars.
Jerry was chosen to carry the squad's flag at the graduating ceremonies and led the two lines of three at the end of the divisions march into the stadium. They wore powder blue blouses, a dark blue tunic over black socks and play style strapped shoes in flat black. On their right shoulder was the logo of the Targaryen Dragon, on their left a white felt dot an inch wide with two tiny silver bars signifying their rank as second lieutenants.
Chapter: Targaryen Dragon
John, Steven and Allen stood on one side while the other three: Bobby, Terry and Jerry stood on the other. Their instructor, a full lieutenant, started them with their quarters first. The MBSE, once through Boot camp and Ship wide systems training, would be graduated as commissioned second lieutenants and begin wearing gold bars from that moment forward.
While second lieutenants was a military rank and commissioned it held no authority other than officer privileges. There was no chance for advancement given their unique situation, but it afforded them the luxury of officer accommodations and courtesy as specified in the military handbook. It also had a secondary effect of mitigating attempts from being bullied by the enlisted servicemen and women.
They met their instructor and a mock up of their part of the ship a week after graduating boot camp. They were given the pass code to the computers and left to unpack in their officer staterooms. They studied ship wide systems as they slept fed to them by the AI system.
The Targaryen Dragon was a double hall space ship not too unlike a submarine in that most of this ship was built for war while crew quarters were at a minimum behind ship operations and armament. The MBSE crew were housed below the main deck with access to a separate engineering section in front of their quarters which also allowed private ship access on either side via hatches to the TATS, or Total Access Tubes.
Those TATs ran the length and breadth of the Targaryen with cross overs every fifty feet or so. Almost all of the electronic links and much of the mechanics were arrayed between the double halls. With a tour of their crew quarters done they were given their "space suits" and helmets and taken on a guided tour of the ship by the computer.
They were thirty days into their tour of duty and fairly use to moving about the TATs doing routine maintenance. John, leading Steven and Allen down the long TAT run labeled TAT ONE, was coming up on a cross over.
Steven had moved forward enough to float above John's leg till he was between them which put him close enough then to reach John's bottom before being detected. John jumped inadvertently and closed his legs defensively. He could not yell or warn Steven off since his communications link also connected to the conn or control room. Unfortunately there was a yelp.
There was also a click and a male's voice asked whoever it was on the communications link to "say again". John held his breath and didn't answer and after a minute there was another click and silence. When the tour ended each of the little girls made there way through the TATs to their cabins. Everyone except John who had promised to take a look at the ships rail gun loading control before turning in.
"Do you need further assistance,” A young sounding female asked as John made his way along the second starboard TAT. He was heading for the electronics for the starboard rail gun loader. John was becoming an expert on the rail system and was gaining a great deal of respect from the gunners themselves.
"Who is that,” John asked curiously over his personal communication system. There were several communications links for a MBSE including the personal one. Only MBSE could talk on this particular link. At first he thought he was talking to another MBSE but he couldn't recognize the voice.
"I am Artificial Intelligence TAT Unit fourteen also known as Marcella. I am currently assigned to TAT maintenance and I overheard your desires for an orgasm,” the voice said in the same tone and pitch as before.
"Excuse me? Wait a second, you heard my thoughts,” John asked suddenly embarrassed but also a little shocked.
"Actually no, I read the bleed of your text unit over your communication. You left the text unit on during your last conversation with the ships Artificial Intelligence master unit while you were reading the schematics,” Marcella noted.
"Damn,” John said and then added, “that wasn't suppose to be public.”
"I know, that's why I am responding to you on the same channel. If it helps, you did not go public. It's a proximity channel so we cannot be overheard as the voice now identified as Marcella added, “Do you need further assistance?”
John, feeling silly first because he was carrying on a conversation with what he thought was a seriously limited computer made doubly silly to be talking about him wishing to have sex. It really wasn't sex per se, more than simply wishing he could masturbate and couldn't wait to get back to his cabin. Thinking out loud and it was Steven's fault. That little poke by Steven had triggered the desire.
"First, how is it a maintenance robot understands the basic workings of male and female enough to know about sex,” John asked.
"First Class Roberts, our drone systems programmer has included those parameters into my system,” Marcella noted and then added, “and I have limited access to a sizable library that have filled in the gaps.”
"Odd? Why would he do that,” John asked and added, “I mean why would he be adding those kind of parameters?”
"He enjoys sex and has used us repeatedly for personal activities,” Marcella answered.
"Wait? What? Sex how,” John asked now suddenly imagining all sorts of things and none of them were good.
"He has built a manipulator that integrates with me and works well with a penis. I have incorporated it numerous times for his pleasure,” Marcella said and added, “I've also tuned those applications specifically to a human male. I could do the same for a female.”
John was going to update Marcella on his status as male with secondary sex characteristics that were female and decided not to. It was a computer.
"You realize I have a vagina and could not utilize such a device, but I appreciate the thought,” John said as he pulled up alongside the rail gun electronics array. As he did so the small round unit he assumed to be Marcella appeared. She, as John thought of her because of the voice, was floating towards her using her gravitating units.
"I know. I did a medical scan. That is to say I was just thinking that when I realized you were in the area and accessed those scans after you mentioned your needs. It came to me that my rail gun probe unit would work very well for a female,” Marcella said.
"I don't follow,” John said but suddenly guilty but wanting to know more. That old adage any port in a storm came to mind suddenly.
"I utilize my probe for the rail guns accelerators to measure a guns resistance and magnetic thrust. I do this as the probe goes down the barrel. Given the diameter for those barrels which is nearly the same as First Class Robert's penis it could easily be utilized as something similar. It could be an artificial penis for you,” Marcella said.
John was shocked speechless. John immediately brought up the barrels of the rail gun. Each rail gun was a mufti barrel unit that could effectively fire six shots at a time within milliseconds of each other. The uranium slugs used as bullets reached supersonic speeds with a density twice that of metal. A bullet could pass through a ship as easily as a warm knife through warm butter.
The slugs themselves were housed in a square box that was almost half the length of the rail gun barrel. That box housed one thousand rounds per barrel and had a loading mechanism similar to a dot matrix printer. In reality it could fire all six thousand rounds in just under four seconds. John was there to check that synchronization but he was looking at a cross section of the barrel.
Each barrel, according to the schematic, was about one and a quarter inches wide. John was about to ask the unit how long the prob was when it suddenly appeared. It was about seven inches long. John's vagina was about six inches deep before you reached his button. John almost licked his lips before catching himself.
The memory of the sleepover came back to him leaving a shiver from those moments. That probe was almost the same size as the dildo he used back then and like the one he had in his cabin resting within a small satin bag. John smiled and thought how ridiculous this was but he shivered again the instant the probe undulated the same exact way that dildo had at the sleep over.
"Wait a second. Why would that probe undulate? Are you still reading my mind,” John asked.
"Was I not suppose to? You're still connected,” Marcella said and added, “am I being naughty?”
"Were you taught to say that,” John asked smiling at the Marcella's question.
"No. Would you like to try it,” Marcella asked.
John almost said no. He should have said no and wanted to say no but he also knew that was a lie. Besides, he was officially off duty and had only promise to look at the electronics. He could still do that and since it was his time, he could do it later rather than sooner he mused.
"Yes,” John said as he pulled the zipper of his suit down past his diaper. He bent slightly and pulled the diaper aside as Marcella drifted closer to hover right in front of him. The probe moved out and slid slightly sideways into the diaper. To John it felt like a finger at first John then felt the tip turn and the rest of the unit followed like a snake leaving him to grip both sides of the basket ball size unit to hold himself up.
"Holy Space Shit,” John whispered as his knees turned to rubber.
John checked his entire communications spectrum shutting all but the texting ability to remain on and did so just in time. The first thrust of the probe pushed it fully to John's plug before gently pressing it. The prob began to undulate. There was a push then the probe slid out to stop just at edge of John's vulva. Against the lips it undulated again then again it went in, this time firmer, then out a second later.
The rhythm was nearly perfect as john slowly thrust back against the pleasure. The intensity of his luxuriation was growing quickly to his first orgasm, then another and a third before John mumbled hoarsely to stop. He was breathing as hard as he might have after running a marathon and shuddered as probe slipped out and back into it's sheath.
"Marcella, I think I love you,” John said leaning against the rail guns base to catch his breath.
"And I you,” Marcella said before turning to hover off.
"Where are you going,” John asked.
"I have two more guns to check,” Marcella said and then added, “if you'd like, I can visit your cabin after I've charged. Just tell the ships system you need to calibrate my probe. You doing rail gun maintenance would give you proper cover. Or, if you like I can meet you here anytime.”
It was like talking with another person, albeit a very unusual person but John had yet to have sex that was as intense as that had been. John shook off the effects as best he could, found the problem that was causing the errors in coordinating aiming for the rail gun, fixed it and headed for his cabin.
"John,” Lieutenant Evan called over the communications channel from the Combat Information Center. He could cut his feed to them but never theirs to him,
"Go ahead,” John said reaching the TAT door to his room.
"Gun chief sends an good job for fixing his gun. Says it's working perfectly,” Evans said.
"Tell the Chief it was my pleasure,” John said as he fought back a snicker. He cleared the com and laughed. That he might even consider masturbating again with the likes of Marcella, yet it gave him goose bumps to think of her. John was exhausted as he entered his cabin.
Each MBSE was given a small cabin that housed a bunk, writing desk and wardrobe. All six would share a three sink bathroom across from their own galley. Over the span of the program everything was done in such a way to minimize contact with the other members of ships crew. That was for the crews sake as it was unnerving to work alongside a doll.
John unzipped his space suit, grabbed a small pink robe to cross the hall and pulled another diaper from it's package. Hot water was unlimited for officers and John loved the soothing feel of the droplets pelting him. His soiled diaper, the one he removed for his shower was already being broken down to it's base elements.
John's ship the Targaryen Dragon was so new it had been designated a new class and it's recycling units were almost 100%. Replenishment and stores gave them twenty four months on station if need be. The only things that really needed replacement was crew contraband.
Marcella began spending time with John about once a week either in his cabin or up near one of the Port side rail guns. To make it even less conspicuous John had First Class Roberts program Marcella to play poker and claimed that it was the smoothest operating drone in the program. Roberts agreed with John's assessment and was frustrated over the officer's attention but he did what he was ordered to do.
Most of the first tour was routine although they were warned about a minor uprising at the belt. Prospectors, those that had built a life on the larger asteroids considered Space Corps intruders and the United Countries trespassers most of the time. These were seriously hard men with a range of equipment types that could easily be used as weapons.
The Wizard, a smaller class ship than the Targaryen Dragon and on station for almost four months sent the first mayday on Tuesday. They would not be on station till Thursday but the ship went on full alert with Wizard's warning. They had taken what in effect was a plasma hit from a burner set up on a small asteroid. Burners were used to calve large asteroids or break up the smaller ones. It sliced the nose off the Wizard as it passed.
The Targaryen Dragon was at combat stations Wednesday evening in preparation on reaching the wounded Wizard. Half of the MBSE were resting with the other half on duty. John was in his cabin tapping out a message to Susan when the ship suddenly rocked violently. John was tossed off his chair and sat there dazed.
It felt like someone had hit the tail and spun them slightly. At the same time alarms went off and the captain went on full combat alert. That mean everyone was at combat stations. The computer told John that a small meteor of ice, fired by an enemy's make shift rail gun.
It wasn't a rail gun but a modified launcher used to toss mass towards the moon at scheduled times. It didn't matter. Luckily it had struck the ship a glancing blow near station R10032. That put it in or most likely through the engine room John realized.
Had it connected fully the voyage would have ended forever.
John was dashing down the TAT and heading for the breach as he closed his helmet. He could detect a trace of gas already filling the access tube and a scan with his heat vision showed him a temperature rise coming off the engine room access hatch. John paused pulled up the schematics and found at least three sources for heat to escape.
John also knew that Steven had been in the engine TAT doing routine service when the meteor hit. John calmed himself and called up the computer for Steven. The computer isolated Steven's location and confirmed his biological readouts as okay, but could not raise him on any of the links.
John was rushing in that direction when he was hit broadside. A smaller bit of meteor, no bigger than the size of a dime but travailing at nearly light speed, had hit the ship and pierced it like a bullet through plaster. It missed John's head but shattered his helmet putting him in hard space instantly.
His body reacted before he thought about it and his eyes sealed instantaneously at the same moment his lungs closed. Nostrils sealed like an iris which protected them and the small cartilage in his ears folded in to seal those. John was blind but his internal Doppler and the computer giving him real times schematics and image from his camera. He was moving again almost instantly.
John came upon Steven and discovering within a second of arriving that when the ship spun Steven had been thrown off balance and hit his head. John suspected that a lot of injuries would be like his. Steven was alive but out of it as John pushed Steven towards a hatch leading to the engine room. The priority was the ship as John activated Steven's Mag belts to secure him to the bulkhead.
"Entering the engine room,” John announced to CIC as the computer gave him an inside view that said that hatch was clear. The breach had missed the engines and was stopped but it had holed the ship to hard space. There was a small plasma leak to John's left.
Two crew members were repairing that hissing plasma line while a third off to John's right was flailing madly about with a crack in the helmets visor. John pushed off using the bulkhead and grabbed the crewman's suit as he sailed by. They both reached the other side bulkhead as john activated that crewman's mag belt.
John's camera was linked to the captain's communications station and was updating the bridge crew in real time. The panicked engine room technician had gone silent and limp as John ran a sealer over the woman's glass.
John pulled a ampoule from his suit and poked the suit of the woman. A second later John pulled in air and sealed his lips while he unplugged his oxygen lines. He hooked his lines into her suit and thought the right codes to begin pumping oxygen in. John waited as the computer updated him on her status.
She was alive and her statistics were good. She was reaching normal the computer announced just as she blinked, shook her head and took a second to orientate herself. John found her broken hose and sealed that crack as well fixing his hoses back on his suit.
"Who are you," The woman said rotating herself to orientate in the same direction as John. She released her mag belt and relaxed as one of the two crewmen gave her a thumbs up regarding the plasma leak. John was told by the AI that nothing else was damaged.
"I'm Second Lieutenants John Franks ma'am, I'm one of the Targaryen Dragon's MBSE. I was off duty when I got the alarm. You okay," John asked.
"Better than okay. You saved my bacon honey. Just before I passed out I thought it was one of my dolls from when I was a little girl coming to save me. Anyway, thanks, I owe you. Oh, and I'm Lieutenant Sanders," Sanders said pushing off to where the two crew were finally getting ahead on the fixed plasma tube.
John heard the rail guns firing and pitied whoever it was at the end because at least two discharges were fill releases. It was an unmistakable sound. John was operating normally as he moved back towards the hatch. He checked his heads up as he reached the hatch.
The air John used to talk with had put him at 60% after he slapped a sealant over his own helmet. He regained communication with the bridge and asked permission to push Steven to the sick bay hatch. He was given the okay and was told medical would meet him there and was heading his way.
John went out the same hatch he'd come in with. Steven was just starting to move when two medical responders reached him. John was turning to push back into the zero G tunnel when the all clear was sounded and the order to stand down came. John floated by their engineering station to replace his helmet..
It took the better part of a day to repair the ship and the two crewmen doing the engine room repairs were awarded one star each for bravery above and beyond. Their actions saved the ship. John too learned he had won a star for saving the lieutenant who also had happened to ask and got permission from the captain to pin it on John's dress tunic.
There was no room on a space ship to assemble even a portion of a ships crew so the awards were presented in the captain's cabin with the images piped throughout the ship. This time no one snickered over the image of John as he took his position next to the average size crewman. John had rushed into harms way and had saved a member of ships crew.
That was all anyone on the Targaryen Dragon needed to know about John.
John came up to Lieutenant Libby's waist as he looked up into her eyes. He still looked like a doll someone had dressed as a Space Corps officer. Lieutenant Sanders took the medal from the captain, saluted, bent at the waist and began to pin the star on John's tunic. Ships crew was dismissed and John saluted Libby and the captain before leaving the cabin.
Chapter: Gulliver's Travels
John sat in his stateroom hooked to a re-breather charge station as it cleaned his gas scrubbers and condensers. It wasn't necessary because he had days of capacity but to not to be at 100% was always risky. John wore just a diaper, under regulation white plastic lined panties.
John's off duty diaper cover with the ruffles was laid out to wear after his shower. Besides his diaper he was in a silk tee-shirt and just getting up when someone buzzed his stateroom door.
Lieutenant Libby Sanders stood in the doorway when it slip sideways and John, slightly surprised but recovering quickly motioned her in. John never interfaced with ships crew so he assumed at first it was one of the MBSE dolls and not a Gulliver.
A Gulliver was a giant in John's land which was full of people like John or Lilliputs. Lilliputs were nicknames the MBSE dolls had taken on while Gulliver was given to normal adults.
"I just wanted to say thanks again," Sanders said standing in the doorway looking very uncomfortable.
"You're welcome and it wasn't a big deal," John said and looking down to realize she could see his diaper under the baby pants as he added, "sorry about this, I thought you were one of my Lilliputs."
"Lilliputs? Oh, I get it. Hey don't apologize, I'm the one intruding. It's just that... Sanders stopped.
"What," John asked.
"Can I be candid," Sanders asked.
"Of course," John said.
"It's just odd is all. You look like one of my dolls that I played with when I was a girl. You're wearing the same style baby panties she wore when I played with her, and I suspect the same size diaper as my niece and she's three," Sander said and added, "it's just a tiny but unnerving."
"It's okay. Obviously we take some getting use to but of course I'm in the same boat because you're a giant... You're a Gulliver and it takes as long for us getting use to you as I suspect it does for you getting use to me. Tell you what. One of the best methods of breaking the ice is you changing my diaper. I'm soaked," John said.
"What," Sanders said in shock and almost bumping into the bulkhead as she slowly backed up.
"Kidding. Seriously, that was a joke. I'm fine. I just changed it before you came in," John said laughing hard as he added, "come on, sit. Relax. It's a Lilliput thing. "
Sanders stood at the door with a look that suggested she would bolt if John moved an inch closer towards her.
"Seriously, I was kidding, come in. It's was meant to be funny? Can't giants take a joke," John said moving back to jump on his bed to sit. It left the chair for her if she took it.
Sanders did move into John's cabin and after a fashion pulled the desk chair from the desk. John offered her a liquor bulb smuggled in that he'd grown accustom to and they shared a toast. The warming liquor loosened both although John was already less intimidated than Libby.
After a time Libby got a Readers Digest version of an MBSE and John's life before the Space Corps. Libby on her side of it was a Tom Boy and laughed that John in some ways had become what she called a Jane Girl or might have been without his "sex change". A Jane Girl was a boy that did similar things as a Tom Boy.
"Can I ask a dumb question," Libby said after what was obviously some thought to it.
"Sure," John said sipping at his small glass again as he added with a pouring motion, "more?"
"Please," Libby said to the drink and posed her question as John poured, "so if I understand, you were a boy and went through a complete transformation... sorry, operation to become a girl. So now you dress like a girl and if you don't mind me saying so you've got the girl moves down pat.... You also look adorable and cute and definitely like a girl? So why is it you go by a boy's name?"
"Good question," John said and then pausing for a time added, "I guess it's because I had to become a girl to be in the program but I haven't fully accepted the fact that I'm more female than male. If it helps, I do have a girl's name but I don't use it much. For the record, it's Mary. Mary Elisabeth."
"Why not? You know, use it," Libby asked and then added, "I like the name by the way."
"Thank you," John said and then added, "I like it to. It's just hard is all but I know for a fact if I tried living as I did as a boy it would be ten times harder."
"It would," Libby added and then snickered and paused till she took another sip of her drink to add, "do you realize you're cute enough as a girl to actually win a pageant."
"You realize that's not helping me and my mental anguish, right," John said but smiling.
"No, you're not realizing how much it would help," Libby said and then added, "I was such a Tom Boy that my mom began entering me in pageants when I was a little girl."
"Why," John asked confused.
"Because I had to be such a prissy little girl to win a pageant and somewhere along the line... It might have been my competitive nature, I simply decided to win. Anyway, one day I'm a Tom Boy and the next I'm the most girlish girl ever. And I did win. Lots," Libby said.
"So how would that help me," John asked.
"Didn't you hear me... I became a girly girl. If you had to do a couple of pageants you would, out of necessity, become a girly girl. To be girly you've got to embrace being a girl which obviously would begin by embracing your girl name," Libby said.
"Hard being girly in an environment like this," John said.
"Really? Are you hearing yourself? You do realize that lots of girls are on this ship and doing the work, and still girls? The point is we are very happy to remain girls and trust me, when I and the girls hit Earth on liberty we're as much girl as any guy might dare to handle," Libby said.
"There, right there is some of the reasons I'm not so interested in embracing your girly girl notions. I don't want to be more girl that some guy is willing to handle. I don't want a guy handling me at all," John said looking slightly disgusted.
"Hey, lighten up a little. That wasn't meant to be an order," Libby said moving to sit next to John to console him as she added, "you realize that girls who don't like guys can still be girly girls and like girls.... right?"
John thought of Steven and Jerry and Bobby. His thoughts went back to the sleep over they'd had before boot camp.
"Okay, I've got a question for you," John said and added, "so what if a guy, who becomes a girl is intimate with another guy that's also become a girl? What would you call them?"
"Happy," Libby said laughing.
"Happy," John repeated the word as he added, "not big on labels are you?"
"Nope. Labels means you've got to fit some preconceived notion of what you're suppose to be which might mean you can't be what you want to be," Libby said and added, "I like boys and girls and to some that's a bi-sexual but to me that's just a label for sex and not for the orientation.
"Gender is between the ears, sex is between the legs," John said repeating Susan's take on it.
"That's exactly right until you push past the label and embrace just being you. So, if your sex is a vagina between the legs you're a girl. If your gender hasn't changed after the operation your a boy. If you want to continue being a boy do it," Libby said.
"But I kind of like the dresses," John said looking at his open wardrobe and added, "so if I like dresses I've also got to embrace being a girl."
"You really are trying to keep everyone confused aren't you," Libby said but then added, "okay, so if you really like the dresses you'd really love being a little pageant princess and I know a lady that loves training little girls to become all that they can be," Libby said.
"Who," John asked as he poured Libby a half shot more.
"Me," Libby said and then added, "are you trying to get me drunk?"
"Yes ma'am," John said with a little grin on his face.
"Fine... Okay, where do you keep your diapers," Libby asked.
"Seriously," John said as the first pangs of an orgasm began to take hold.
"Only if you promise to breast feed," Libby said as she added, "now let's get you out of those boy clothes and into something really cute and adorable."
"So what does this make us," John asked.
"I'm thinking stars in a sequel or maybe a remake of Gulliver's Travels," Libby said as she began to unzip John's space suit.
"So how do you want to do this Mary Elisabeth," Libby asked stroking John's cheek.
"If I'm at your breast, my hands are the perfect length for everything else," John said as he watched Libby undress. She wore panties styled like boy's briefs that made john add, "you really are a Tom Boy."
Libby checked the door and climbed into bed to lay next to John who made the final adjustments so his mouth was right even with Libby's aureola on her right breast. John moved so he was just over it as his tongue wet her nipple. His little hand rested open over her navel and slowly slid down to the very edge of her pubic hair.
There was a slight but purposeful entanglement then another slide down her vulva till a pair of fingers found their way inside. Libby's own hand slid along John's side till she went over his diaper on the left side to just between his legs. He had asked if she'd like him to remove his diaper and she said no. A moment later she too was wiggling a finger inside.
John did not have a clitoris as Libby did but he explained the function of his button as being similar and damned if she didn't become an expert in just a few seconds. They were both moaning and squirming towards the height of their arousal when John suddenly felt the wash of liquid released by Libby. He couldn't help it as he mimicked her by a squirt into this diaper.
"I don't care what you want to call yourself Mary Elisabeth because you may bring me to my knees any time you want," Libby said kissing John again on his forehead as she slipped her panties back on as she added, "now lay back and let me put you into a fresh diaper. I do not want my little sissy getting diaper rash."
John smiled and lifted his bottom so Libby could exchange his wet one with a new one. He didn't have the heart to tell her his own vagina was almost indestructible and could not get a diaper rash. It didn't matter because what did matter was the soft dry disposable.
"So you promise to think about those pageants," Libby asked.
"I will," John said watching her exit his stateroom to allow the door to slid closed.
The small uprising in the belt was settled and to everyone's mutual agreement very little was given up or taken. The sixth month voyage was up when the Targaryen Dragon's replacement came on station. There was ceremonial pass between the two ships and a captains dinner to exchange orders and to the excitement of everyone, on the Dragon at least, they were homeward bound.
Libby and John became an item as the ship flashed through space and lives were shared in the coming days as Libby and John talked in more detail. It was clear to Libby that much of what hung him up was his past which, when she thought about it, was what hung up half the country.
They had finished making love and savoring the endorphins still flooding their minds when Libby softly pushed John into sharing more of his life. She had a hint of things but no real details. Libby would tell Susan, when she shared this part with John's permission, that it was never clear why he confessed. Susan was of the mind that John just wanted to share the burden. In any event it gave them a lot of insight into John's reluctance over some things and his embrace of others.
Chapter: Hand me downs
"Ms. Rockford," John said seemingly out of the blue.
"Who's that,” Libby asked casually.
"The bitch or witch, I'm not sure which, that made me wear diapers and dresses,” John whispered.
"What,” Libby said in shock as she added, “how? Why?”
"Started on the first day in her foster home. I'd just been dropped off and the moment the case worker drove off it started. She had me sitting at the kitchen table while she filed my papers in amongst all the other kids stuff and then stood to lead me off,” John said with a pause as if remembering.
Libby remained quiet realizing this might be important.
"I found out there were four large rooms two for boys and two for girls and the only bed she had was in the small girl's room. She split them by sizes. She laughingly divided everyone by pre and post puberty. I was considered pre pubescence even though I was fourteen.
I told her so and that was the first time I was slapped. She told me in no uncertain terms that I would be a bed wetting little girl or else,” John said.
What,” Libby said.
Seriously. She got money for each of us but she also got funds for the necessary items for special needs and all the girls in the room and I were put into diapers. I found out later that not one of them was a bed wetter. It was just a ploy to get more money out of the state,” John said.
But what about the dresses,” Libby asked.
That was simply hand me downs. I had a small bag of clothes but nothing to sleep in so the first thing I get is a nightgown. A girl's nightgown with Hello Kitty on the front which is funny now because I still love that kitty. Didn't then but that was then.
It was the same with the dresses. Whatever fit was what I wore and it didn't matter that I was a boy. In fact, the first time I complained about wearing girl's panties I was pulled over her knee and spanked. She slapped my bottom till I begged her to wear girl's panties.
There four girls counting me or put another way three girls and me. The closet was full of dresses hanging side by side and when I got up I did like the girls did and went to the panty drawer, the slip drawer and the closet for a dress. Same with the shoes. To keep me quiet she promised that as soon as a boy's bed became available I'd get it,” John said given a short snort to emphasize the irony of it all.
"That must have been horrible,” Libby said.
"Was at first. I was fifteen but wearing dresses belonging to girls no older than five. Same with the panties and slips and shoes. Pretty soon I just sort of fell into the role without giving it much thought,” John said. There was a long pause before he added, “then Bruce came along.”
"Bruce,” Libby asked.
"Bruce came into the foster home the instant a bed was available which of course should have been mine but that aside, he got it. Big kid, bigger than two other boys that were sixteen sharing the room,” John said and added, “and almost immediately he became my protector.”
"Protector,” Libby asked hoping to keep John talking.
"Body guard or something. I never really knew what drove him to latch onto me but he did that same day when we taking our chairs for school. We were home schooled such as it was and sat in the basement in front of an old blackboard. The little ones, including me sat in front.
That was the way it was suppose to be but Bruce pulled one of the other boys out of his chair and took it so he could sit next to me. I wasn't sure why but at least the teasing ended that same day. Meanwhile Bruce followed me around constantly.
"Sounds like a good thing,” Libby said.
"I guess it was until that night he came into the room. I remember waking to my bed sheet being tugged down only to discover it was Bruce kneeling at the side of my bed. I started to ask what he was doing but he cupped my mouth and hushed me. After that I just laid there petrified,” John said and paused.
"What happened,” Libby asked.
"He performed oral sex on me. Turns out I was a sissy boy to him and as it happens he liked sissy boys. He lifted my nightgown, tugged my panties down and fluffed me till I was hard, then performed oral sex on me right there in the middle of all the other girls,” John said.
"Horrible,” Libby said.
"Yes and no,” John said looking pensive as he added, “after that, almost nightly, he'd do the same thing. He also started helping Ms. Rockford dress us in the morning only he was picking out the panties, slips and dresses I wore. The dresses got frillier. He told me when I had to go to the bathroom I had to tell him and he used those trips to have oral sex on me again. Got so I'd go potty twice sometimes three times to get him to perform oral sex on me,” John said.
"What about the diapers,” Libby asked.
"Those came a while later,” John said and added, “I think Ms. Rockford suspected John was taking advantage of me so in a way it was an attempt to protect me only it didn't. Bruce simply unpinned my diaper gave me oral and pinned my diaper up again. He started making me nurse a pacifier or one of the little girl's baby bottles and that's that.”
"Only it wasn't was it,” Libby said.
"No, I suppose it wasn't. Got reluctantly use to my little dresses, loved the panties and started enjoying getting diapered, not to mention Bruce's attention. I guess all in all I've got a lot of reasons to hate or love what I am now. It sort of covers everything that I once went through,” John said.
"Except now it's happily, right” Libby asked resting her hand on top of John's diaper as she slowly sipped her middle finger past the baby pants and diaper to slide into John's vagina.
"Right now it's right,” John said as he spread his legs.
Libby took that as encouragement and it was as she rolled fully to her side and untapped John's diaper. Libby's hands were big for a girl's and her middle finger was nearly the size of John's dildo as she eased it into him till her finger nail touched John's button. The instant she did that it shot a spark of pleasure throughout his body and he arched his back immediately.
When Libby was done it was John's turn and Libby groaned as John settle between her legs. He didn't tell Libby about the nights Ms. Rockford would come into his room, pick him up and carry him to her room. He got to know when that would happen because he was always double diapered and put into a baby doll nightgown.
Ms. Rockford would be in her own baby doll set and would settled John so he was first positioned to nurse her breast then after a time she'd guide him down between her legs. When she was satisfied she'd carry John back to his bed, lay him down and for some odd reason give him one of the girl's still nursing her baby bottle.
John thought about that as he pushed harder into the wet vastness of Libby's own Vagina. His moans blended with her's.
Chapter: First Contact
The biggest advantage for officers in Space Corps was accommodations when they were Earth bound. With their operating base in space you only had to be within three hours of a launch facility which allowed you to live almost anywhere within the continental United States. Lippy before she met John, lived in Denver. When her first liberty arrived she took quarters not a mile from John's home on his base.
Libby's fascination with John followed her gratitude for him saving her that day near the belt. It was the combination of her fascination, infatuation and gratitude that had her sitting at the table with John and Susan. Susan was thrilled knowing John was nurturing a new relationship and more so that the girl John was attracted to was encouraging him to embrace his femininity.
Libby's first goal, having been a successful pageant coach in her past and with five months off till her next tour was to prep John for his future pageant. She wasn't pushing him to go past his first but she was insistent that he give that first one everything he had. Pageants were made up of the very best girls and she had every intention of seeing that John would be one of the very best girls.
Her first task was to sit for some number of hours watching pageant films from the U.S. Film Bank. They started with the most recent. As each film was viewed Libby pointed out the pluses and minuses to John. John in turn was encouraged to mimic those basic girl moves. Susan, often observed silently from the kitchen.
What gave Susan hope for John was his slowly growing excitement over his dresses. That Susan mused, was Libby's doing. Libby would not allow John to watch any of the pageants without first putting himself into one of several new pageant dresses. The one he wore for this viewing was a soft pastel lemon confection made up of layers of chiffon gathered in soft folds over a skirt of taffeta.
Taffeta was chosen for the noise Libby told John who discovered that point instantly when he gathered the skirts to go over his head. Adding the four petticoats that exaggerated the way the skirts stood out only added to the sounds he made from his bedroom to the living room. And it wasn't a single walk either because if John didn't do it right the first time Libby had him walk back and forth till he did. When he got that right and had perfected the way he sat over gathered skirts Libby started the program....
The first thing John noticed was how mature the little girls looked as they strutted across the stage in their attempt to catch the judges eye. It was the makeup Libby said after giving him several web dots associated with those various points she made.
John was just getting use to the new dot system which had become a standard for international web identifications. If he wanted to go interactive he simply placed that particular dot on his skin next to his right eye. The dot itself tied into John's vision and a signal tapped into John's brain stem to mingle with his bodies inputs.
Those dots were keys as complex as retinal scans and almost impossible to hack. You simply touched the dot to any part of your body and the registered DNA string was picked up with a tiny flash of invisible light and logged you in. You could not give out your password, nor could it be stolen. You could add other dots to an account but you controlled what they did.
Virtual reality was nearly perfect as Libby fixed the folding table in front of John with all the various makeup items he'd need. Susan was watching the little girls with John. It had surprised her when he came home and said he wanted to be in a pageant. When he had left for boot camp he was still calling himself John.
Susan had gotten the impression he was fighting his little girl persona and now suddenly he wanted to embrace it. Susan had hugged Libby as a long lost friend when they met and it became a twosome with a shared goal of turning John into the most perfect little girl the world had ever seen...
Meanwhile John had picked up the foundation like the other little girls sitting at their respective mirrors. The virtual program gave every sensation of being one of them as they all mimicked their teacher. John too as he began dabbing his face with the damp sponge colored with his foundation.
John wore a pinafore that covered his entire dress but carried it's own feminine charms with it's ruffled trim and sweet bow at the back. As John went through the make up steps he moved a leg moving a knee that slid under the nylon slip of his petticoats. The slippery feel fed back a hint of girlishness as did the act of making himself pretty.
"That's it precious, small dabs, even motions. Remember you're smoothing the liquid from the nose out. That's it... perfect," Libby said patting the top most layers of John's outfit. The most simply pat caused the very white pinafore to move over the chiffon that slid over the taffeta. Her words and those sensations made him swoon a little.
All of the little girls finished and John followed as each picked up the blush tray and brush. He dabbed lightly to fill the bristles with pink powder and watched the instructor, then the little girls blush their cheeks. The apple of the cheek was the highest point and the first to get brushed and the stroke ended at the ear. Lightly, very light.
"See that! See how pretty you are with just the foundation and blush? You really are pretty and such a good learner," Libby said. Libby's encouragement made John glow as he stroked his cheek with the brush till the color highlighted at the beginning only to fade as it went back.
It was the same with his eye liner which was becoming almost perfect Susan noted as she sipped her tea from the kitchen counter. Susan and Libby exchanged smiles as John drew and identical black line where his false eye lashes met the lids of his eyes. A smaller brush added the color just before he drew the lines and last was his mascara. With his eyes done he took up the lip liner and outlined his lips before twisting the lipstick out. John actually did love the waxy feel of the pink colored lipstick.
John and the rest of the little girls ended the session with giggles as they were filmed one by one fluttering their eyes and puckering their lips for the camera. John had to get up and walk with his back straight to where Susan was sitting with his hands held out in a girlish pose for her inspection. She made a point of drawing the out the moment before she carefully kiss him just before.
"Mary Elisabeth," Susan said giving John a soft peck on his cheek.
"Definitely Mary Elisabeth," Libby said standing next to Susan.
John's face if it could would have been bright red from the blush he felt because he did feel so very girlish at the moment.
"You know, at the rate you're catching on we may have to enter you in a pageant before our next tour," Libby said.
"Seriously," John asked.
"Absolutely. Do the math.... we've got what five months off before our next six months on and you've almost mastered your makeup and hair routines and some of your moves are nearly perfect. I'm thinking we could be ready within another month, at the latest," Libby said.
"And you've got at least three dresses that are more than enough frills for a pageant," Susan added.
"That's true," John said as he suddenly twirled.
John activated his button and that in turn flooded him with the pleasure of sex sending his endorphins over the top. His mouth went dry and he shuddered a little over the sensations. Some of it his dress, some of it the fact he was in a pair of panties with two layers and some of it his button as it blasted him with another wave of pleasure.
The day ended with John deciding to walk down to Steven's place to show off his makeup.
Steven was there and simply gasped at how cute John looked and instantly took his hand to drag him hurriedly to his room. The instant the door closed they kissed and were still kissing as Steven gently guided John back to his bed. John sat then went back as Steven lifted the layers of slips and dress to fold gently onto John's chest.
"What are you doing," John said smiling at how feverishly Steven was acting.
"What does it look like little girl! I'm going to ravage you," Steven said dropping to his knees. It was something new for John but Steven had been doing this for a while including the time he'd been on board the Targaryen Dragon. It was Jerry, Steven's every day lover that had picked up the finer points of oral sex from a crew member who didn't have any hang ups having sex with a reformed sissy.
John almost scooted backwards over the sensations rising from Steven's tongue. The thrust and wiggle nearly drove John mad and when Steven also pushed on John's plug before using his tongue again. John never had a chance for a breath as he unconsciously gathered the noisy layers of his dress and slips into a ball.
Steven fell back onto the carpet while John turned loose of his dress and petticoats to just lay there breathing.
"What was that all about," John said after he finally sat up.
"Like it," Steven asked.
"Like it? No, I loved it," John said.
"It's just that you look so damn pretty that I couldn't help myself and when I reached under and discovered you were in panties I lost it," Steven said.
"I'm glad," John noted happily.
"So what's with this look," Steven said.
"It's my Mary Elisabeth look. I'm practicing for my first pageant," John said.
"Wow, you really do look like a Mary Elisabeth," Steven said and then bowed at the waist before saying, "and from now on, that's who you are.... for my sake."
"I can do that. It's just that I feel so much like a girl and just then you sort of made it official. That was awesome," John as Mary said.
"Your pleasure was my pleasure," Steven said before adding with a grin, "Mary."
John stood, shivered in pleasure then bent to pull his panties up. He gave Steven his hand to help him up. They hugged again, kissed and as was often the custom, pushed themselves together for a kind of ritual pelvic rub.
"Good bye Mary," Steven said.
"See you Steven," John whispered as he moved to the door. Steven stood still as John walked out and down the stairs. He nearly skipped home to let the petticoats bounce.
"Hello," Libby said sitting at the kitchen counter with Susan. Both were sipping tea. Susan too said hello as John came in happily.
"I'm a girl," John said without acknowledging their greeting and then, before anyone could say anything he sang out, "and my name is Mary Elisabeth."
"I just had my first contact," John said, paused, and added, "with her..."
"With who," Susan asked before Libby could.
"With me," John said and laughed as he added, "with Mary Elisabeth!"
Chapter: Turning Point
It took a glass of wine and careful questioning to discover that John, not acting as John presented himself as Mary Elisabeth who then had a sexual encounter with his best friend. His best friend had an overwhelming sexual urge that was triggered by John's apparent demeanor and makeup bringing him happily between John's legs.
Steven told John that he made love to him as he might a girl because, as far as Steven was concerned, John was a girl. John had his epiphany at that instant.... That was when he skipped home and made his announcement.
It was also the last day Mary used her name John.
Even John, now Mary, began enjoying his enemas or at least tolerated them more. That was one of the few routines he had not embraced in the beginning and only barely tolerated them since. He didn't probe him rectum to stimulate stools so much as do his enemas for cleaning.
In John's case, as in all of the MBSE the remaining colon was hardly long enough to process as it once had so the natural cleaning process had to be augmented with, as John put it, an unnatural process. John remembered when the nurse came in with the bag filled with warm water mixed with some kind of cleaning solution.
What's that for,” John has asked innocently.
Your enema John,” The nurse had said not really answering the why of it.
At the time John was accepting of most things but having that long thin plastic rod made slippery with Vaseline shoved into his bottom was not one of them. Of course he was his own enemy because he'd force himself closed and with his modifications enabling him to seal himself it only made it more difficult.
The nurse would gently shove the tube in and John would tighten himself and she would wait but with a slight pressure for the next moment John would relax. He would and she'd shove again. It went on like that one inch at a time till all five inches was inside of him.
With the tube fully in the nurse would release the clip and squeeze the bag and John would feel the pressure mount as the liquid filled his colon. He was on his stomach when it started. The nurse would rest her left hand on his buttock while the right held the tube. Sometimes she'd slap his bottom shocking him to release and on occasion that worked. Not always but sometimes.
When he could stand it no longer she would help him up with the tube still inside and guide him to the toilet. He would turn, bent slightly and wait till she pulled what she called her magical wand from his rectum leaving him only seconds to sit. All hell would break loose for a few seconds then nothing. Baby wipes were the most pleasant part of the process.
After a time John's enemas because “girlish” moves and he did a short one every morning just to feel as clean inside as he was on the outside. You can't put a pretty dress on without feeling pretty he would say walking from the bathroom to his closet. That was the easy part. The hard part came when he had to chose a dress.
The most conservative dress Mary owned was hardly that but within thirty minutes at the mall Susan and Libby had changed that. Mary wore a new pair of princess panties under a day slip that fit perfectly with a very ordinary pleated skirt and silk blouse. He also wore his first bra in anticipation of one last minor operation agreed to adding small gel packs behind Mary's own breast to give her "buds".
On one side of her closet were her pageant and play dresses, while the other side duplicated exactly what little girls were wearing. She did like Hello Kitty and lots of her newer things favored her. She also loved waking in the morning to her first bath and putting herself into a bra and panties. Mary's need for diapers stayed, although mostly at night because those were cloth, thicker and got covered in plastic lined rumba panties.
To compensate for the diapers Mary normally wore during the day she wore pads inside of her panties. She carried extra in her purse which was also a new item needed because she loved fussing with her makeup every chance she got. She was a girl's girl, a girly girl according to Susan who made that claim during one of her monthly luncheons with the other MBSE trainers.
Susan was no longer the one with a "newborn". Ironically she was still the focus for everyone's attention, nearly a year later when she sat for their monthly gathering, because of Mary Elisabeth. Mary had actually become one of the newest MBSE trainers gaining the title for her efforts in assisting young men who had difficulty becoming little girls.
Mary's influence was so highly regarded and so important to the program that she had been released from active duty at the end of her first tour aboard the Targaryen Dragon. Libby had returned to duty although she still kept her quarters on the MBSE base so she was close to Mary. Steven did as well.
One of the advantages of training MBSE candidates was having access to the virtual programs and to Mary's delight that included some of the best porn programs available. That was an accidental discovery when Mary was searching randomly for another sex robot similar in function to Marcella.
It was during that search when she came across a dildo that was soft wired to a small box that transmitted input into a literal headset. In Mary's case her head was a virtual headset and on an impulse she purchased the unit and program. It came with men and women and to Mary's surprise one of the men looked a little like Steven did after his cosmetic changes.
The irony there being that Steven had opted for his own cosmetic changes that transformed him back to a little person looking more male than female. While the risk was too great for a "reverse" reconstructive surgery They were able to modify an additional plug that adapted to Steven's vagina to make it function as a penis. That functionality was one of the pleasures Mary Elisabeth found every chance she could.
Meanwhile there were changes in Mary and the term girly girl no longer was enough to describe her. She was adorable and flawless with her makeup applications. She had honed her talent and was experimenting with clothing selections that included swimming suits.
Mary Elisabeth won her first junior pageant handily after judges ruled that Mary as a transsexual had met every requirement to participate. It was said, although the judges would deny having said it, that Mary's two piece swim suit with the princess motif was one of the reasons for her win, that and her eloquent speech concerning transgendered rights.
Her rendition of "Good Ship Lollipop" dressed as Shirley Temple, chosen as her talent entry, while cute and very definitely as girly as the original, was kindly deemed ordinary. For Mary that was acceptable she said giggling. When Susan read the reviews it made her wonder over Mary's reaction and Mary giggled again, but this time twirled.
Mary twirled in the very same style dress that Shirley Temple had made famous while raising the skirts to show that Mary's ruffled and lace panties were also a close match. If that wasn't convincing enough Mary Elisabeth said, "Susan, think about it? I got another outfit to die for and I get to wear it in public!"
As for Steven and Mary? They were, by most accounts, an item. According to Steven, Mary really was his living doll while Mary claimed she embraced all of Steven's new changes - often. She did admit she wasn't fond of the artificial stubble, but she loved the way, in her words, "his new penis throbbed and pulsed". That last part, for the record, was not reported at the luncheons.
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