Dancing on Daddy's Shoes

by Mark McDonald

Chapter 15: Abs is dead - Susan is Dead and Ben... well, let's just say he's had better days. Two families lay in tatters as fate has struck a killer blow. Magic, who needs it. The problem is, can Kim now escape it?



Dancing On Daddy's Shoes - Chapter 15 - Sleeping

"Good evening, I'm Clark Jessup and this is Eyewitness News.

"Overnight, tragedy struck the sleepy Central Tennessee town of Baker where two people are believed to have been killed as a freight train crushed a car carrying two teens that had been attending the Mathers' High School Senior Prom tonight. Details are sketchy, but what we do know is that the two teens involved in the incident are the same two teens who made such a stir in that same embattled high school just a month ago. Kimberly Glass, Captain of the school's State Champion Tigress's and Benjamin Ackerman, son of the reputed Tennessee drug lord were reportedly on their way home from attending the prom when they were involved in an accident at the east railroad crossing on Highway 188. Also involved in the accident was Abner Ackerman, known as the Greased Hog by State Police."

"Police are reporting that Abner Ackerman was killed when a train, approaching from Baker, struck him while Ackerman was standing on the tracks. There is no indication from police why the senior Ackerman was on the tracks or exactly what he might have been doing in the vicinity of a school on the night of a school sponsored activity. Additional reports seem to indicate that the other fatality was his son, Benjamin Ackerman who received massive internal injuries as a result of a car crash. There is no word on the condition of Ms. Glass as of yet."

"If you'll recall, it was their desire to attend the prom together that began a bitter feud between athletes loyal to Mather's star Quarterback Kirk Oswalter and the junior Ackerman over the love interest of Ms. Glass…"

-*-

Tom Glass reached up and turned off the television in the waiting room. "God damned thing," he muttered. "I'm sure Ben is fine. The hospital would have told us something if he wasn't." His statement was directed to three people, Sarah and Harvard Becklock and his ex-wife Cindy. When Tom turned, he could see that Sarah had been badly shaken by the report. "I'm sure that was just a mistake Sarah. They surely wouldn't have released that to the media."

"That's right Baby," Harvard agreed, "They'd have to get permission before they…" Harvard fell silent realizing there was no one left to give permission. The police had found Susan's body about a half hour after they identified Ben.

That cat was out of the bag, but good now. "Who are they going to ask Daddy? He's got no one now."

"Yes he does." Harvard said. The authority in his baritone voice left little doubt in Tom's mind about the conviction in Harvard's heart. "He has us. We're his family now. All of us."

Tom glided in beside Sarah. "That's right Sarah. We're not going to let anything happen to him if we can help it. He's a genuine hero that boy. He saved my little girl. You can bet your last dime I'm going to do everything I can to make sure he gets the best treatment."

Sarah looked up at her father's large and imposing figure. He smiled gently to her, "Hey, what's all that money we got for if you can't spend it on the people you love." Tom stood and braced himself on Harvard's shoulder. When Mr. Becklock looked up, he caught Tom wiping tear's away. "You Okay Tom?"

Tom nodded, but said nothing. He looked anything but Okay to Harvard. They had just come back from the ICU pods where Robert had been only a few short weeks ago. Now both their children were hospitalized. How would you be if it were Sarah instead of Kimberly? Harvard thought to himself.

"How is she?"

"Banged up, scraped. She'll have a few scars the Doctor said, most of them will heal up and you'll never know. The one on her chin will probably be visible, a couple on her leg. She has a nasty cut up near her scalp, but her hair should hide that one. Over all, she got off lucky."

Tom barked an hysterical little laugh, "Listen to me, I'm talking about vanity like it's the end of all of why we're here… She's alive Harvard. She'll live, I don't give a rats ass about the fucking scars. I know she will though. I know that whatever comfort she's able to get out of any of this, she'll at least get some from the idea of not looking like Lady Frankenstein."

Cindy was fairly crawling out of her skin. She had joined Tom and the Becklocks in the waiting room when it was clear she was impeding in Kim's ability to rest. Now, she was on that fine razor's edge between sanity and stark raving madness. "Tom," Cindy broke in sounding distressed, "You have to talk to someone. I can't sit out here with my baby all alone up there."

"They're just worried about you," Tom said sitting next to Cindy to try to reassure her. "Kimberly is fine. You, on the other hand are going to end up in one of those beds yourself if you don't give it a break."

"But Tom…"

"No, no buts Cindy. You heard what the Doctor said. If you don't try to relax, he said he'd sedate you. And I'll guarantee I will do everything I can to back him up. I'm letting you stay, but you're going to stop hovering over them."

"God, I just hate this." Cindy folded her arms, slouched back in the chair she was in and pouted. Her left eye had developed a small but noticeable tick. Tom gently stroked her hair, trying as he always had, to calm her. In Cindy's eyes her children were all she knew. It was the only reason for her existence. The troubles they had encountered over the years, the accident's Kim had suffered had only made this protective instinct more acute for Cindy. So much so in fact, her condition had nearly manifested itself into an illness. He knew now he'd been wrong to let this drive them apart. Cindy needed him here. More than that, he needed Cindy more than he had once believed. If it was within his power to restore that trust, he would never leave again.

It was Sarah's turn again to let the worry overtake her, "What am I going to tell him? He's alone." Sarah fretted for Ben.

"We'll tell him that we love him and we'll always be there for him, no matter what," was Harvard's honest answer. Sarah buried her face in her father's massive chest and resumed grieving.

Kimberly was going to be fine. No life threatening injuries. Among the scrapes and cuts, she had also dislocated her right shoulder. She had a pretty serious concussion that had resulted in her being under the watchful eye of the Intensive Care Unit where she was currently resting, being woken up every hour to insure she didn't slip away into a coma. She would live.

After thirteen grueling hours in surgery, Ben on the other hand might not. At least that was the last word when he had arrived. Maybe the news report had been accurate. Maybe with no parents, no other living relatives, the hospital had released the news. The incident with Kirk and Kim, his relationship to his father had made Ben a subject of state wide interest. The phrase, Inquiring minds what to know, danced in Tom's head. Could it be that Ben was of such interest that they would waive his right to medical privacy? Tom wondered if the four of them here to see Ben to whatever next plane of existence he would go to would be ignored for the public's veracious appetite for dirt? He didn't know. He knew however, that he must find out.

The door to the private family waiting area opened and Dr. Phillip Sato came in. His expression was drawn, his eyes looked tired. No one in the room felt he had good news to share. "Well, Ben survived the surgery. They're closing now."

Everyone gave a collective sigh of relief. Sarah broke down in tears and fell against her father gratefully.

"I don't want everyone to get their hopes up." It had only been a carrot, the calm before the preverbal storm. Tom sat, bracing himself for the worst, supporting Cindy. Harvard closed his eyes against the news and Sarah cringed. "I can't make this into something it's not. It's a miracle he's alive at all. There were a lot of internal injuries. They were only made worse by being forced to defend himself. I gotta tell you. I was an Army surgeon in Vietnam. We saw some pretty horrendous things come in and out of that field hospital. Infections that went untreated for weeks, wounds from bamboo spikes, organs ruptured from concussion grenades and a lot worse. Never have I seen injuries like this where the person in question was able to continue to walk let alone fight the way he did."

"What's the bottom line Doc," Harvard asked.

Dr. Sato inhaled deeply, preparing himself and said, "Mr. Ackerman most likely won't make it through to tomorrow night." Sarah vacillated between loud sobbing and soft tearful moaning. "I'm sorry I wish I had better news. His skull has a fairly significant fracture. We've removed a portion of it to allow his brain to swell without cutting off blood flow, but just the damage to his brain from the blow should have been enough to kill him. Is liver was ruptured. His bowel was damaged. He has multiple fractures including three ribs, a punctured lung." Sato went on and on for what seemed like hours describing Ben's injuries. Tom understood why. These things were being outlined for them so they could comprehend when the end finally came, Ben really didn't stand a chance.

"With all that," Sato chuckled to himself for a moment.

"What?" Tom asked, confused. He looked around the room at the faces all staring back at the doctor. They too appeared to be mystified by the man's amused demeanor.

With a look of utter amazement on his face, Sato admitted, "He's breathing on his own." The doctor shook his head, "I suppose it's too much to ask and it will probably change, but that one development is reason for hope. The condition of his body should make breathing impossible for him. He should be on a ventilator. In his state, that alone would have its on inherent risks, not the least of which is infection. But he doesn't seem to need it. And while the odds are so slim they're almost incalculable, they still jumped 100% in Ben's favor."

Sato checked his watch, "It's almost noon, they'll be waking Kim up again soon. I've scheduled to have her moved at 4:00 to her brother's room. I want to keep her over night. If she's still doing this well tomorrow at this time, we'll work up her release papers and she can go home."

"Can I go up and see her?" Cindy whined anxiously.

"Yes, but she's weak, she's in pain. In a few hours, after the risk of brain injury due to cranial pressure has passed, I'm going to be sedating her for a while. If she's disturbed by any one other than our staff," Sato glanced deliberately at Cindy, "then that room will be off limits to friends and family. Do I make myself clear?"

Cindy looked away, but nodded. Tom couldn't help think that must have been the most difficult admission Cindy had ever made.

Sarah turned to Sato, "What about me? Can I go see her too? Just for a little while."

"I think she could use all the support she can get right now given the circumstances," Sato said sympathetically.

Tom turned to Cindy, "Why don't you two go a head and go up. Harvard and I have a few things to work out with Dr. Sato." He glanced at Harvard and Harvard gave Tom an almost imperceptible nod.

"Does Kim know about Ben?" Sarah asked timidly.

"She was told he was in surgery. That's about it." The girls nodded understanding and moved toward the exit.

Cindy spared Tom a speculative glance and Tom smiled back softly. "I'll be right up." Cindy smiled in spite of the situation and left with Sarah in tow.

Tom then turned to Dr. Sato and asked, "Okay, I want to make sure Ben is getting the best care possible."

"I know you do. But the problem is Ben isn't likely to live long enough for any of it to make a difference. Not to mention that the state will only provide so much care. In a situation like this, the DWHS will probably look at this case and say the money could be used for someone more likely to survive. They work very much like a triage unit. Those with a lower than 50% chance of survival are simply allowed to die. Too few funds to go around you know, and trying to get the most effective care for the least about of cash. It's really in God's hands now."

"Well, for one, I don't think we should be helping God along with this by refusing to do what we can. Personally, I don't go to church. I'd rather put my faith and my money in something more substantial than prayer." Tom withdrew his checkbook and began scribbling. A moment later he tore a draft from the leaves of the book and handed it to Dr. Sato. "That will have to do for a start." Sato looked at the check, the amount written there was $60,000.

"This is quite a bit of money Mr. Glass."

"Nope," Harvard said. He too was now scribing in his check book. "This is quite a bit of money." With a flourish that would have made Liberace proud, Harvard tore out his check and handed it to the doctor.

Sato coughed, "Two hundred thousand? Like Tom said, that's a start. I'm a very wealthy man Dr. Ben WILL get the best of care. Won't he?"

Tom snapped his checkbook closed. "Show off," Tom groused with a genuine smile.

Harvard clapped Tom on the back and replied, "The best."

"I'll take these because you want to help. It's good to see people step up like this."

"I meant it Doc," Harvard assured, "If you need more, I've got it."

"If Ben needs more," Sato said, "I think I can convince the hospital to give the rest. If they won't, then I'll do it."

"You?" Tom asked perplexed.

"My baby sister's son was a good kid, smart, never in trouble. He wanted to be an Astronaut. He washed out of the pilot program in the Navy. After that he took to drinking, then drugs. The police told her that it was probably Mr. Ackerman's drug network that made the cocaine he O.D'd on available." Sato's face was pulled into a tight grimace as he spoke. "If it hadn't have been Ackerman, it would have been someone else. Barry would have found the drugs some place. I've spent my life trying to save kids like Barry. We save more than we lose, but even one kid, just one, is one kid too many. With Ackerman gone, maybe a few more will live long enough to see they have a chance. Ben deserves everything we have to give him for that. Don't worry about the rest. I'll make sure he's taken care of."

The two men rested their hands, one each gratefully on Sato's shoulders before he turned without another word and left.

Tom turned to Harvard before leaving the waiting area, "Thanks Harvard. You didn't have to do that."

"It's like the Doc said, boy's a hero. He deserves to be treated like one. I've got more money than one man deserves anyway. It's time I start spreading some of it around."

"So can I have some?" Tom asked trying to slip his arm around Harvard's massive shoulder and failed.

"How much you want?" Harvard asked skeptically.

"How much you got?" Tom asked with a smile.

"Not THAT much." Harvard said, conspicuously putting his checkbook away. Both men shared a brief moment of laughter as they left for Kimberly's room. It would be the last laugh anyone would share for a while. Both men seemed to sense this and savored it in the midst of the tragedy that had fallen on the heads of their children.

-*-

When Tom and Harvard entered the room, they were greeted by Kim demanding, "You're not telling me something." To say Kim was distraught was an understatement. She had visible stitches along her hairline and her chin. Her hair which had been cleaned of blood hung in strings from her head. Her right arm was in a blue sling tied behind her neck. There were angry abrasions on her cheeks and nose. Her face was red and puffy.

This was aggravated by her temper. "I want to know how he is. I want to see him."

"Honey," Tom said softly as he and Harvard entered the room.

"Oh Daddy," Kim cried and burst into tears, "They won't tell me how Ben is."

"I know Princess." He approached the bed, drew up a small metal hospital chair and sat beside her. "I don't think you're in any shape to go see him. Even if you were, he's still in surgery Sweet Heart. They were just finishing up on him when we left."

"So he's not dead?"

Tom managed a weak smile, "No," he answered sympathetically, "he's not dead." There was little relief in her face and Tom decided then and there to take responsibility for telling her daughter the truth. "But…"

"Oh no…" Kim groaned dreadfully. Her swollen face bunched up, her eyes became tiny slits as she braced for another impact, this time with the dashboard of bad news.

"Honey, he was hurt pretty badly. You knew that didn't you." Kim wiped her eyes with the back of her left hand clumsily and nodded trying to be strong. Tom spoke softly, kindly to her, conscious of her feelings. "He did something very special for all of us. He gave everything he had to try to make sure that you weren't hurt by his father."

"He's a God damned hero," Robert called out from the bed adjacent to Kim's.

"That's fine Robert. Let me handle this."

"Sorry Dad."

"Sweetie, he just didn't have much left afterward. He's fighting." Tom choked up. He had not yet said this out loud. He found hearing it was much different than saying it. Speaking the truth seemed somehow all the more horrible, self fulfilling somehow. It also seemed to sanctify Ben's heroics, to elevate them to a point beyond human to something almost Holy. "He's trying to hold on," Tom continued. "The doctor even told us he's breathing on his own. Now Sarah's father and I are going to make sure he has the best chance of recovering. But I think we have to do everything we can to be prepared for the possibility that he won't. Believe me, we're going to do whatever it takes to try to make sure he stays with us."

Kim clapped her hands over her face and wept. She remained like that for some time while the others in the room did their best to comfort her, a touch here, a kiss on her forehead, Cindy softly stroking her arm. After a time, she finally uncovered her face, "What about his mother? Where is she? How is she taking this?"

Kim gauged the looks of the adults in the room. It didn't take her long to figure out from the disturbed looks and pregnant silence that something else was horribly wrong. "She knows doesn't she? Someone's told her what happened right?"

For the first time in his life, Tom was not able to meet his daughter's eyes. He dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap and said, "Sweetie, Abs killed Ben's mother..." Kim fell backward limply, in shock as her father tried to finish, "some time before the prom…"

The absolute totality of what she and Ben had brought with them crashed upon her chest, a Baby Grand piano dropped from a hundred story building. The weight of it was finally more than she could bear. Now, someone that hadn't deserved it had died because of them, maybe two would be dead soon. She couldn't even reverse this now. Ben was busy fighting again, this time for his own life. Even if she could go to him now, before he passed away, if she put his hands on her face she suspected that the mask would stay on her. It had to be Ben, conscious and willing to remove it from her face. With her selfishness finally melted away in the flames of all this calamity, she could not do a thing to save him, to reverse what they had done. Now it was Susan in the box where her own father had once been. Ben was certainly next.

The price of staying, the price of having her father back had just become too high to pay. At least she had not been responsible for her father's death in that other place. Here, she felt she was a murderer.

"OH NO!" Kim wailed, "OH NO, OH NO… OH GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE?" She began whipping her head around from left to right and back again. "OH NO… BEN… PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! NOT ALL OF THEM…"

Tom lept up and tried to hold Kim's head still, "HONEY… HOLD STILL…" Others were moving in to help, "Hold her… Someone get a nurse, HURRY!"

Sarah dashed out, she too was crying, more out of fear than grief now. Still Kimberly thrashed about. To Tom it felt as though she might actually be trying to hurt herself. "Hold still Kim. Calm down."

A nurse rushed in followed by Sarah close behind, administered an injection and soon Kim began to quite down. "Okay, everyone out except family," ordered the nurse. Harvard spared a moment to hug Cindy, then Tom.

"Well be right outside," Harvard assured them both, "We're not going anywhere."

"Thanks," Tom said now distraught himself. Harvard and Sarah, still crying, both left the room to give Kim some peace.

Two days later, Kim was released after the doctor insisted she stay one more day. She was released at 9:00 in the morning. Cindy and Tom were there to collect her. They had with them a modest black dress for her to wear. When they left, they drove to St. Michael's Episcopal Church were Susan's service was being held.

There they sat with the Becklock's and the family of Dr. Phillip Sato who had come to pay their respects. No one else attended. Ben was still holding his own.

Afterward, the eleven mourners stood grim faced, thinking of the boy that still didn't know he was an orphan. Little was said. Cindy cried intermittently for most of the day, sad for Ben's loss, angry that she had wasted so much time, that she had not helped in some way someone who had once been a good friend. Kim eventually took Sarah's hand and limping, pulled her to the side while the others watched, but did not interfere.

Kim's eyes were everywhere except on Sarah's when she spoke. "He was taking me home… He wanted… He wanted… Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry."

"Shush… It's Okay," Sarah insisted.

"No it's not!" Kim insisted, "I was so selfish."

Sarah fumbled for Kim's hand. When she found it she latched onto it and held on for dear life. Kim was trembling mightily. "This is silliness." Sarah scolded Kim. "You have to accept that there are just some things we have no say so over Kim. I not going to feel any better if it's you in Ben's place. Thank God you're Okay."

"He wanted to take me back, once he did as you asked him to do. He wanted to take me home and go get you. He said you wanted him to find out what there was between us. He did. You need to know he's in love with you. I tried to kiss him and he pulled away from me. It was you Sarah." Kim squeezed Sarah's soft, dark hands tightly. "He would want you to know that."

Sarah could say nothing. If she did, she knew she would start playing the blame game that girls and women play so well. She would blame herself for forcing Ben to take Kim, for not having that one night with him if it turned out to be his last, for putting Kim in that situation needlessly. How does one reconcile all the twists? How is Kim going to get peace from this, how will I? There were no answers. There probably never would be unless God himself floated down and told them why.

Instead of talking about it, they fell together and simply held one another.

-*-

Kim did not return for the last three weeks of school. Enough was enough. Emotionally she was drained. Physically, she tired easily with exertion. She was becoming stronger rapidly however. Her well toned body had helped her resist a lot more injury than she might otherwise have suffered. The condition of her body also helped her heal faster.

Instead, when she was strong enough, she tended to Robert and to Ben. Sarah helped after school. When school ended, Sarah joined her with her father's blessing spending much of her time with Ben. He would need the help. Ben had slipped into a profound coma. Graded on the Glascow Coma Scale, he attained the lowest rating possible, a 3. No motor, verbal or eye responses to any stimuli.

Each day, the girls watched helplessly as Ben's body atrophied from lack of movement and less than optimal nutrition. They took turns exercising him, flexing his legs and arms, washing him and talking to him, trying to keep him limber while, at the same time, fishing around in the darkness for him, trying to bring him to the surface. A week passed, then two.

Kim and Sarah had taken the role of Ben's guardians. Their parents paid the bills, brought food for the girls and, when they felt it necessary, took them home for rest or to simply give them a break. One of them, Mr. or Mrs Becklock, Tom or Cindy were almost always there at some point to support the girls.

June gave way to July and Ben's condition did not change. He became thinner, weaker more emaciated with time. Tom watched as Kimberly changed, losing that delicate, innocent teenage girl spring in her step, trading that in for the deliberate, but graceful gait of an adult woman. She and Sarah had become almost maternal in Ben's care, adjusting his sheets, doting over him, flexing his arms and legs, massaging his back after turning him every 30 minutes without fail. Kim read to him, Sarah sang. Each of them brought to him what they could. Tom almost began to get the idea that they were tending him as though Ben were some failing but greatly loved Sovereign, carefully being tended to by his loyal subjects after a life of service to his Kingdom. The drama being played out in Ben's little room was one of the most touching it had ever been Tom's pleasure to witness.

Once, around mid July, Melinda Gilman and Wendy Graff can to the hospital to "visit". Ever the antagonist, they barged into Ben's room laughing too loudly, vying for everyone's attention, even that of the dying. Their self-absorbed behavior was an instant point of irritation for both Kim and Sarah who did their best to be brief hoping the social vampires would realize the sun had risen and it was past time to flea back to their coffins.

Their laughing ended abruptly as though it had been Kim and Sarah who had blundered mistakenly into Ben's room and not the other way around. Wendy was the first to speak. She tried to embrace Kim, but Kim stood rigidly stoic, refusing to return the embrace.

Undaunted, either by pride or indifference, Wendy said, "Everyone wants to bring something to show how much we miss you and how much we love you." Kim rolled her eyes noticeably, causing Wendy to stumble over some of the words in her prepared speech. "Uh, well, everyone, Okay, not everyone, but some of us chipped in and bought you this," Wendy pulled a cute, soft pink teddy bear from a bag she was carrying.

Wendy thrust it forward into Kim's arms. Kim examined it and asked, "Did you bring anything for Ben, for Sarah?"

"Well, like, we didn't know Sarah was going to be here? If we had…"

Kim stopped her in mid sentence, "You have to have known that Ben was going to be here right?"

"Uh, yeah!" Wendy said with the typical teenage indignance of a self absorbed teen put on the spot.

"Well?"

"Oh really, this isn't about Ben now is it?" Wendy said dismissing the notion. "This is about you. You almost died Kim. You're friends wanted to say…"

"It's not about me at all. It was Ben that almost died. I'm fine," Kimberly corrected.

"If you don't mind my saying so Kimberly," Wendy said with a particularly snotty tone, "you don't look Okay. In fact you look like you fell into a juicer. Besides, you don't really think this changes the way the whole world sees him? He's a looser Kim."

Kim ignored Wendy and turned her attention back to Sarah, "Come on," indicating the conversation was over and they both had better things to do.

Sarah pursed her lips and turned away, but once again, Wendy interrupted, "He's tougher than anyone thought. The little rat is still alive."

Kim turned on Wendy viciously, "You can go now Wendy

"Kim," Wendy implored, "Are you still clinging to this virus? You can't be seriously concerned about Ben. He's the reason you're here in the first place."

"You bet he is." Kim said proudly, "If it weren't for Ben I'd be dead now…"

"That's not what she means," Melinda protested. "He wrecked the car with you in it. He ran like a little weasel. The other boys would have stopped Ben's old man if he'd just turned around and gone back to the school. All you would have had to do was come back to your rightful place, with us."

At length Kim opened her eyes and said, "You don't know the entire truth. It was Ben his father wanted most of all anyway. Ben did everything to save me. He has probably given up his life to save mine. He killed his own father to save me."

"Everyone knows he ran away. It was all over school after the prom." Wendy said, then gestured toward Melinda Gilman and continued, "Melinda told me-," Wendy asked, hands on her hips as if she'd caught Kim in an obvious lie?

"I don't believe this," Kim said exasperated. "Neither of you were even there I was, remember?"

"Kim," Wendy said, "We understand that you want to show that you stand by Ben. But he isn't going to live, you can stop pretending that you like him. This game has gone on far too long to be believed …"

"You need to get out of here, both of you," Kim demanded.

The two girls stood looking at themselves disbelievingly. They had come to pay homage to the girl the other boys of the school had dubbed queen. They hadn't even wanted to come. The other's in their group felt it would go a long way to bringing Kim back into the fold if her primary rivals acquiesced and showed a little soft underbelly. Now they were not getting the respect they deserved for that selfless act.

"You're obviously not yourself today Kim," Melinda huffed aloud trying to sound sweet but at the same time wanting Kim to understand that she had just stepped on the toes of the entire royal court.

"No Mel you're wrong, I feel exactly like myself. I know what Ben did and he did it for me and me alone. The thing is; he would have done the same thing for you if you had needed it. He wouldn't have even thought twice about it."

Sarah looked at Kim, and asked, "Tell me again why you let her hang out with you all this time?"

Kim turned to Melinda and Wendy, "I thought you were leaving." She then turned her back on the two teenage social vampires with no more regard than she might have given a rotten orange.

"If you turn your back on us now, there's no coming back," Melinda warned.

Kim stopped dead in her tracks and ordered, "Leave Mel. Leave now, you're not worthy to be in the same room as this man."

"Don't you tell us what to do," Wendy charged. "Ben isn't worthy of anything. Just look at him. If he wasn't a disgusting worm before, he is…"

A loud * CRACK * disturbed Wendy's poisonous tirade, stopping it dead, leaving both Wendy and Melinda in wide eyed shock. Kim was now facing them both. The speed at which she had turned on them had been alarming and had caught both girls completely off guard. A large red, hand shaped spot began to rise on Wendy's right cheek. "Why in God's name would I want to have anything to do with the likes of someone like you Wendy, or you?" Wendy's hands gently caressed the spot where Kim's hand had fallen. Her eyes watered, more from the indignity of being slapped than from any real pain.

Wendy began to lunge at Kim, "You BITCH!" But Kim once more struck her with lightening fast reflexes.

* CRACK *

The blow, harder this time, in exactly the same spot, this time brought real tears to Wendy's eyes. "Open your mouth, make one move other than leaving and I swear Wendy, you'll find yourself in a bed just like his before the end of the day." Kim returned to Ben's side. Sarah eyed her disbelievingly.

"What?" Kim said, a faint hint of a smile braking at the corners of Kim's mouth.

Afraid to speak, the two left, humiliated. In the hall, Sarah could hear Wendy begin to cry, spewing an angry fountain of curses at Kim and Ben. "You've wanted to do that for a while, haven't you?"

"Did show that much?" Kim asked. "It's over now and I'm a social outcast." Kim giggled to her self lightly. "Funny thing is, I can't say I'm sorry about it in the least. There was a time with I thought being popular was all I ever wanted. I thought that was the true measure of being liked. Those people don't like me. They never have. I wish I'd known that before it all came down to this."

Sarah slipped her hand over Kim's. You're still my friend." Sarah assured her.

"I don't deserve that Sarah. I don't deserve your friendship. That makes it all the more special to me." Kim finally looked up into Sarah's large brown eyes. "Thank you." After that, the silence of their routine that circled around Ben settled in once more and they both began the familiar dance of caring for this tragic soul.

Robert was released on August 1^st. A welcome home party was thrown at their home by his parents. Kim was on hand to welcome her brother home, but she was soon off back at the hospital to watch over Ben.

School would start in a few short weeks. Summer was over. That time on the riverbank when Ben had made such an ass of himself seemed so out of reach to Kim now. If they had not gone to the mall, how different would things be? Susan would be alive, Ben would not be dying. Her brother would be in college now, doing what he loved best, playing football instead of trying to learn how to live as a cripple.

Kirk who had recovered from his wounds would be attending his last year of high school and possibly receiving his own well deserved scholarship. Instead, he was locked in a cell awaiting trial for assault, attempted rape and a number of other charges. His life was over.

On August 19^th, a little more than two weeks before the beginning of school, Kim sat reading the final chapter of, Richard Adams - Watership Down to Ben. She loved not only the story of Hazel his brother Fiver and their adventurous band of lapine comrades, but found she enjoyed sharing it with Ben even more. While Tim had never read it, nor would he have ever done so, it was a book she had read many times since she had first discovered it at the age of nine. She had tried to read one other Adams work, a book called Shardik but found it too rough for her tastes and decided to read Watership Down again and again until she had practically committed it to memory.

In the last two weeks, Ben had begun moving, opening his eyes but had remained unresponsive. Still, Kim and Sarah both felt it was and encouraging sign. Each girl stepped up efforts to reach Ben in the blackness of where ever it was he was hiding. The doctors had all warned not to make more of Ben's new found animation than was warranted. It was not uncommon for coma victims to open their eyes, track movement in the room or shift positions in bed. They cautioned that Ben was showing no cognitive activity. These movements were nothing more than the ordinary electrical activity of a dormant brain.

This did not dissuade the girls from trying. None of the staff at the hospital felt there would be any harm in this, so life as it was went on. Now she was fully involved with acting out the book as she read to him. The tones of her voice rose and fell with each dramatic element. She would lower her voice as much as she could to imitate her perception of each character. Bigwig was perhaps the hardest. She envisioned the tough former officer from the Sandleford Warren Owsla as rabbit having a deep, stern voice with a short temper he used to hide his deep compassion for his fellows. Her portrayal of the large fur tufted rabbit, whose lapine name was Thlayli, and the other characters of the story, was a comical thing to watch and had entertained Sarah many nights.

This night she was alone with Ben as she read. Kim glanced over at Ben as she sometimes did while reading to him and registered briefly that something had radically changed.

She was taken off guard for just a second when it appeared to her that Ben was actually looking at her, smiling. She was so surprised that she forgot what she had been saying and had to scurry to regain her place in the book. Kim told herself that it had just been one of Ben's open eye moments and was inwardly pleased that some of the typical behavior they had all been accustom to was resuming. 'Maybe we can find some hope in that, maybe.' This one, however, had been alarming because it had happened so unexpectedly. That look on his face almost made him look like a gleeful corpse enjoying a moment of clear recognition of now distant life. Kim listened as she continued to read, hoping perhaps that there might be some sign that Ben might be actually waking up, but Ben was silent.

Kim finished reading, closed the book and lay back with her eyes closed, resting them for a moment. She could hear Ben's regular breathing as she rested. The entire room seemed filled with it. She looked at Ben again. "I hope you liked that Ben, wherever you are in there."

Kim put her head back again and once more closed her eyes. There was a pause and then a strained voice whispered with atrophied vocal cords, "It was very nice."

Without batting an eye lash, Kim smiled and responded, "Thank you Ben, I've always loved-"

Kim flew out of her chair screaming her hands covering her chest as if her heart might leap right out through her rib cage, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She felt a small warm spot of fluid spread between her legs, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the smiling face of her best friend. "YOU!" she accused trying to cover the wet spot on her pink capri shorts with one hand and pointing with the other.

"Me?" Ben croaked.

Kim nodded wild-eyed, with out speaking, then accused again, "YOU... Y... Y... YOU!" This time she jabbed her finger at Ben, on the last "YOU!" to illustrate that she indeed meant Ben.

"Ben weakly smiled. "Me." he agreed. His speech was slurred a little, almost lazy. His left eye seemed to look off somewhere all on its own. His conscious appearance was nearly more startling than when he was asleep.

Finally Kim recognized him through the injuries, in spite of his mild disfigurement and realized he had come back to them. "You-" her face broke into a million grateful pieces as she rushed to him and fell to her knees. "You..." she said again, "You scared me so bad, I peed in my pants." Kim scolded him as she clutched at his chest and neck. She gently wrapped her arms around him and slowly rocked him. "I missed you."

"Missed me?" Ben slurred, struggling to get the words from his throat to her ears. His voice was weak, almost strangled in the effort to speak. He lay there, still, unmoving, his eyes and head were the only parts of him he seemed to be able to manipulate. "Where was I?"

"Far away…" she whispered to him and with that, they settled into a sort of comfortable quiet for a moment, each letting pass whatever anxiety they had, whatever questions that might come pass away for a time. When the unexpected shock of the moment had passed, Kim became aware that someone, a nurse or a doctor had to be told. There was no telling how long Ben might be awake. She didn't want him slipping back into that place he had been now for months.

"Ben, I have to go get your doctor…"

Ben then looked around, his surroundings constructing bridges in his head to places unknown. "What happened?"

Kim stood, determined to get help, "The doctor will explain everything Ben. I promise, I'll be right back."

"No," Ben groaned. "Don't leave me."

"I'm just…"

"Please," Ben pleaded. "Just tell me."

The fretfulness of the moment tripled on itself. It folded over and became heavy on her heart. "Ben, we were in an accident," she said clutching his hand as though it might simply fly away.

"We?"

"You don't remember? We went to the prom, you and me. We went together Ben." Kim said. But Ben could only shake his head no, subtly."

"We wrecked… We were tossed from the car."

Ben eyed her as he listened, studying her, his right eye dancing over her face. At last he said, "Come here."

"Ben," Kim cried anxiously, "I have too…"

"Kimberly, don't let me stay in the dark."

Kim groaned, knowing she should go and get help but unable to silence the heart strings Ben was plucking one by one. It was then she spotted the nurses call button strapped to the rail of Ben's bed. She reached for it, but as she did, Ben somehow managed to lift his emaciated arm and clutch her wrist before she was able to clutch the button.

Ben examined the condition of his arm in stunned disbelief, "Jesus," he whispered.

Without a single instant of doubt she understood what he was doing. He was checking for injuries. "Oh Ben…" Kim said sorrowfully, the pain of Ben's shock brightly reflected back to him in her beautiful but sadly drawn eyes. "I…" she began but she didn't have any idea after that what she could say to him.

He released her wrist, and slowly moved his hand to her face. There was still evidence of the abrasions she had suffered in the form of discolored patches of skin on her cheeks. "These aren't new Kim. But," Ben said struggling with the evidence of his eyes. "they weren't there before. These have healed."

Kim grabbed for the button but Ben weakly pulled it away from reach, "Not yet," he told her. "How long?" he asked, but the answer came to him in a manner Kim could not have anticipated. She brushed away a lock of her hair barely exposing the tail end of angry red scar from the stitches in her forehead. They had been removed a week ago, but the wound was still healing. Ben reached up and pushed her hair clear, exposing the evidence of a serious but recovering deep wound. Kim only realized what he was looking at too late to pull away.

Ben let Kim's hair fall away from his fingers. His face became slack with knowledge that a wound that deep would take months to get to that stage. The small pinholes the stitches had once occupied were still visible, scabbed over, but visible. "Ben, don't panic, Okay?"

"What month is it?" Kim lunged for the call button but Ben managed to keep it from her reach. "Come on Kim," Ben coaxed.

"It's August."

Ben swallowed painfully, his throat dry. He then looked around the room, "Coma," he whispered painfully and glanced at Kim. Kim nodded. "Where's my Mom?"

Terror gripped her. If she had thought for a second that Ben would have ever been this cogent, that he would have woken up at all, she would have had a nurse standing there with her. Now, she couldn't meet his eyes. Kim knew this was 'a tell', but to look at him and have to try not to tell him would have been harder than looking away. She glanced down and away to gather her nerve, then she knelt next to Ben's bed. Turning her eyes to him, she sighed and said, "Your father ambushed us Ben. I'm not sure exactly why, but he wanted to kill us. You saved us Ben. You trapped him on the tracks and a train hit him."

"Did it hit me too?" he asked humoring her misdirection for the moment.

Kim smiled softly, "I bet it feels like it." Ben nodded his concurrence slowly.

"But this isn't about my Dad is it?"

"Sort of," Kim said softly. She fought to stay in control. But the look on Ben's face, the absolute knowledge in his eyes of what was about to be said.

Ben mercifully closed his eyes. Kim honestly didn't believe she could have held his stare much longer without breaking down. "He killed her didn't he?" Ben asked, not really expecting an answer.

Kim fumbled for Ben's hand. "What do you want me to do Ben? Tell me and I'll do it."

"There's nothing to do. I suppose you should go get the nurse now." Dying inside for him, Kim hesitated for a moment, but when Ben said nothing, she slowly stood and left to tell the nurses that Ben was awake.

-*-

The next three days was a flurry of activity for Ben. There was a great deal of disappointment on the part of the doctors that Kim had allowed herself to be coaxed into giving Ben the details she had about the night of the accident. This was quickly tempered by the two families who wasted no time in verbally reprimanding the medical staff for expecting a sixteen year old to inherently understand those risks, let alone chide her for it.

The doctors found it to their benefit to issue an immediate apology to Kim. It was of little consequence to Kimberly however. She felt guilty for her complicity in breaking Ben's heart. Having him back was now somehow worse than having him alive, blissfully unaware of how his world had changed while he was in a coma.

Kim did visit Ben the first day, at least she came to the hospital. She accompanied her father the day after Ben's reawakening. Sarah was there already and curiously came out in the hall where Kim waited, wondering why Kim didn't come in and join the party. To be blunt, she had no spirit for any festivities. She was just heartsick over the entire affair. To have Ben look at her right now, knowing what they knew, knowing it was their fault, she felt would be more than she could bear. So to this end, Kim admitted to herself, there was a bit of selfishness to it.

Sarah did her best to dispel the angst Kim felt. Ben felt no animosity toward Kim about the events of that night. That, however didn't seem to matter. Kim told Sarah that she held animosity toward herself. When Sarah admitted she didn't understand why, Kim informed her she wasn't likely to understand it anytime in the near future. Sarah finally settled to let Kim work it out the best way she knew how.

That evening and the next day, Ben was scheduled for a battery of neurological tests that consumed a total of 33 hours. No one was allowed to see Ben until the day following the tests. Kim spent one nervous night after another worrying about weather or not Ben would slip away once more, never again to wake. Worry gnawed at her that their last words would be those shared just before she left Ben's side, dejected and feeling guilty.

The next morning, Kim was there, outside Ben's door as soon as the hospital would allow her to come in and visit. Sarah was buying some basic toiletries for Ben, some things to read, some easily digested snacks, berries, a banana or two and a few other things. They would have a little time alone, hopefully, to face the enormity of what they had done. A nurse exiting his room let her in with a warning that the day before had been hard on him and to be quite and let him sleep as long as he could.

The door creaked open slightly and Kim poked her head into the wedge of light that spilled out from the opening. There, across the room, Ben lay asleep, looking very much as he had in the depths of his coma. For one ghastly moment Kim was fooled by the illusion and gasped at the sight of him there unconscious. This of course woke Ben fitfully from his dreams startling Kim in the process.

Kim pushed the door open, hand over her pounding heart but grateful Ben had not fallen into an unwakeable slumber. "You scared me. I thought…"

"I scared you?" Ben croaked in his still weak and gravely voice.

Kim smiled bashfully, "Sorry,"

"Sarah said you were here before the tests began, outside." Ben pointed feebly to the door of his room. "Why didn't you come in?"

She tried to wave it off. "Ah, you know, everyone was in here. I got to be here when you woke up." No matter how upbeat she tried to sound, something just below the surface in her voice betrayed another vague emotion. Just what that was, however, Ben couldn't tell. Kim tried to change the subject. "What did the doctors say?" she asked pulling up a chair.

"I'm blind in my left eye."

"Oh no," Kim said, her face stricken with sadness. No matter how she tried not to look at Ben's eye now, she could not keep her own from drifting back to it. It had a lazy, off center feel to it, like it was off somewhere enjoying life on it's own with no consideration to its Master. It stared contentedly this way and that, but never in the direction of its twin. It was hard for Kim to believe that the eye was sightless when it seemed to be off on its own sightseeing excursion.

"Ah, I got a spare," Ben said and smiled crookedly. There was something about that smile that just didn't look right to Kim. Then Ben put the pieces in place on his own, "The knock I took on the head partially paralyzed me I guess." Kim's breath caught in her chest. "My left arm; half of my face, a good part of my left leg are pretty much useless." Ben was looking around his body which lay underneath a sheet, taking inventory like a store-keep checking his stock. "Overall, I'm pretty good. Won't be running any marathons for a while, but it'll give me time to work on my needle point. I'll have to figure out how to do that with one hand though." Ben squeaked a laugh, but to Kim, it sounded forced, even a little sad.

It didn't take long for the cool wind of Ben's emotional front to change dark and stormy. With in seconds, Ben's façade crumbled, he burst into tears, turning his head away from her and croaked. "We did this. I did this."

Kim hung her head, "I think we is much more appropriate."

"Okay," Ben agreed weakly, "have it your way. It doesn't really matter though, My mom got killed because we let the that rats-ass bastard out of jail." Ben was silent for a moment. Even here, crippled, he was not complaining about himself, not at all. Even in his grief, Kim did not get the sense he grieved for what he'd lost but for costing someone he loved their life. This was guilt, not self-centeredness, not pity. He's really changed so much… Kim thought.

She turned her eyes to the window. Outside, everything looked pretty much the same as it had when she had been living in Tim's life. In the distance, she could see the medium rise buildings of the Baker business district. There was little there to the inexperienced eye to distinguish it from the one she had known before. It was almost like looking through a window in time and space. A window that, should she step through it, all things would be made right with the world once more.

Kim drew in a burdened breath. "Ben?" Ben didn't answer. He lay, his head turned away from her. "Ben, look at me please?" she asked. Ben slowly turned his head. When he finally faced her, she was standing directly next to him. Ben could see the flat, flawless belly of her pink Capri pants pressing into the railing of his bed. He gazed up at her, and she smiled oh so sweetly. "We can fix this." Her voice was Angelic, her face was so serene that looking upon it filled him with profound peace.

He heard himself ask, "What about your father?"

But Kim didn't answer him. She bent over him, freeing his useless hand from the sheets. She gently lifted it toward her, "Give me your right hand," she insisted gently. Ben withdrew it and looked stupidly at it for a moment, gone from his mind it seemed was the purpose of what such a thing might be for.

Kim took his left hand and gently pressed it to the side of her face, then grasped his right and did the same. Kim's face hardened, becoming rigid. Her mouth became a representation of a mouth in white plastic. Her eyes however remained clear and sharp, focused on Ben's. He was breathing hard, scared to death of what was about to happen. He knew she could not breathe like this, but he could not grasp the mask.

At first, Kim did nothing to help him. She only stood looking lovingly down on him for a moment. Ben could see that she was smiling sweetly by the way she held her eyes. She blinked once and Ben could feel his fingers being manipulated. The expression in Kim's eyes had changed from sweetness to concentration as she tried to slip Ben's fingers beneath the edges of the mask.

She struggled with them for a few moments. Ben could see panic rising in her, the skin around her eyes beginning to turn an angry red from lack of oxygen, still, Kim tried to remain quiet to conserve oxygen. Finally, Ben's fingers began to pry beneath the mask, pushed under by Kimberly's slender digits.

"Kim, you don't have to do this," Ben cautioned. Kim glanced down regarding him, dismissed his suggestion and returned to working Ben's hands around the mask. Ben's left hand was proving to be very difficult. His fingers had drawn into a sort of claw from disuse. With no control, Ben couldn't help her hook them under the edge of the mask. They kept slipping out one after the other. Finally Kim was able to hold three of them in.

With that Kim stopped.

Ben watched her very intently as she withdrew her left hand from his right. She pushed a lock of brown hair from his eyes and smiled once again with her eyes, caressing his forehead. Ben was beginning to think she would let go of his hands altogether, allowing his hands fall away when she clasped them hard and pulled away with her whole body as hard as she could.

-*-

He surveyed the room cautiously. Before him was a white theatrical mask. It hung, suspended in the air. He slowly reached out with one hand, to touch it. To watch him, you might think the thing before him would leap out and bite him if it could. It remained there, hanging, motionless when all at once, the invisible wires that seemed to hold it up gave way all at once and it fell with a soft *thwap* on an empty hospital bed.

Tim turned to a small vanity mirror set in a small recessed alcove and beheld the image of a boy he had not seen in four months, "Holy shit," he whispered. He no longer wore the delicate white sleeveless, scoop neck pull over and pink Capri's. On his legs were the same dirty jeans he had worn when their adventure began. Only now there was something terribly wrong. His shirt was loose and hung on him like a tarp. His clothes appeared to be several sizes too large. Sadness gripped him. He shed a momentary tear for a father that was once more dead.

He returned his attention to where the mask had fallen, "Ben…" he said with purpose. He snatched the mask off the bed and charged out of the unoccupied hospital room.