The Pink Diva Chronicles Day 86-89

Day 86

Hiya Pink Diva

So anything new with you, me not really. You know the same old same old. Had a bunch of people over for a party and it went better than I could had imagined. Yes, I am so happy the party went great.

Dana and I were nervous at the beginning, for we wanted our friends to get along. Stacy was also a little nervous but I think that was more for she helped with the food. By the way she looked stunning tonight.

Stacy had nothing to worry about with the food, we did a great job at making it and it was a hit. I know the food was not the most important part but I am talking about it next. It was for how nice it was cooking it. I was dressed en femme while doing so. It was only leggings and a tunic with a little makeup and my hair done, but I like how I felt.

Speaking of how I was dressed, I took what I saw as a big chance and wore panties and stockings at the party. For some reason, I just knew I would feel more confident and myself it I did. I was right. I so enjoy how I felt.

Anywho, the party went great. The atmosphere was jovial with Laughter was abound. My friends and Dana’s friends mingled and got along great. I am thankful for fantasy football for that was the common ground which they started to talk with each other. There is even talk of my friends and Dana’s friend forming a league together next season. Even the ladies started to mingle with each other via fantasy football. the ladies talked with each other trying to figure out the allure of it.

Dana did a great job at being the host and I did a great job at, for lack of a better term being the hostess. He made sure that people felt welcomed and comfortable. He was also awesome at helping people who were introduced start talking to each other. When it became a conversation between those two he would just slip out of it. I found myself watching him and just having a nice warm feeling seeing him be such a charmer.

Me, while I made sure the food and drink never ran out. I also made sure that the mingling was happening with the ladies.

Then the common ground they had expanded to other interests. I will say watching new friendship start from something you did makes a person feels good. I think the strongest connection was between Bridget and Stacy. By the end of the night those two were having their own private party.

The part I liked the most was Frank came to me when the party was winding down. He wanted to make an announcement. In his words he did not know when he would see his new dogs again(Yeah he can be cheesy) and wanted to share something with them.

Monica and him got engaged, but she took off her ring for the night so they did not make the party about them. That was so touching they put others in front of themselves. Then it was even more touching that they wanted to share the good news with their new friends. He was welcoming them into our group.

Frank made the announcement and everyone cheered. I was by Richard and he mention how that was a classy move by Frank.

The strange thing was I so wanted to look at the ring. I broke down and gave it a glance when I thought no one was looking. I am telling you Diva, it took all and my willpower not to ohhh over it. Beth came over a little after I saw it and talked to me about it. She knew I wanted to. Yes I was excited. I wanted to gush over how pretty it was and was able to. I was also happy for she told me it was an asscher cut.

We then started to talk about Stacy; Beth shared my concern about our friend. We shared the opinion that her husband is up to something. A business trip would not be 5 days and the first 2 was nothing to do with business, Plus it was on Thanksgiving week. It had to be something major and Stacy did not indicate it was.

How well my life and Dana’s are merging made me feel vindicated about all the decisions I made since the day we shared a drink together. While tell the truth a great guy bought me a drink so he could spend time with me. He just saw something about me which he liked.He said that I carried myself in a feminine manner.

I feel this party was one of the many benefits we will both reap from us sharing our lives together. I mean the best things in life are laughter, good times and being surrounded by love and support and this party had all three of them.

Sunday was a lazy afternoon after golf/brunch. I do want to say that James and Richard were great with Bridget. I knew they would be, but it still needed to be mentioned.

While I am off to join my man in bed, yes with being off all next week I am just staying at Dana’s tonight. Tomorrow is another big day, my parents are going to meet Dana. It is the holiday season so there will be many big days ahead.


Day 87

I did a search for a psychiatrist and found what was supposed to be the best gender specialist in the area. Her name is Dr Karen Lutz. I have a consultation with her schedule on Dec 7. I am nervous but looking forward to talking with her about what I am going through right now.

Yes I know I have a gender issue, issue is the wrong word. Saying issue has the connotation because I fall outside the normal range of a man on the gender spectrum is bad. It is not common, nothing more and nothing less. I do not see it as good or bad. I do see me accepting it as good, for I am becoming closer to my real self.

Dinner with my parents was great. My mom is a great cook, but we had takeout. It was the right call for it gave the meal a very casual atmosphere. It was not about the food, it was about people spending time together to get to know each other. The food was an excuse to be in each other’s company.

I swear those two liked Dana more than any of the girls or ladies I brought home. My dad told him to call him Stewart and those two talk so much. While I helped my mom clean off the table, she told me he was a keeper. I shocked myself when I answer back right away with I know.

Oh it is not for it was a big revelation, I already knew that. It was just how natural it came out. It was not in my normal tone of voice. I did not think I would be so comfortable saying that to my mom. My mom did not bash an eyelash, and trust me my mom notice the difference in my voice.

We stayed out in the dining room for we heard the men really enjoying each other’s company. Plus, we felt a different kind of closeness with each other and needed a little one on one chat.. We both knew that we had the same role in our relationships. This was not in a bad way, my mom treated me more like her daughter than her son. It was a little thing,.like her saying Dana will treat me good, instead of make you you treat him good. I did like it.

My mom jokingly asked if I would be with the ladies helping her in the kitchen some. I eagerly said yes. Here is why my mom is great, she insisted it was only a joke and I need not be away from the other men watching football. I told her I wanted to help and was looking forward to the time together with her. I enjoy to cook.

We talked more directly about the dynamics of between Dana and me. My mom was not only supportive, she was also happy for me. She talked about how being yourself was important to happiness and also a strong relationship.

The discussion led to my mom making a supportive statement which I was not ready to hear my response to. She told me my the role you have in your relationship does not make you any less of a man. I told her so what if it did.

That is where the conversation got serious. Mom got very apologetic for she thought I took it the wrong way, that she was questioning my manhood. Then, it all added up to her. She got a smile on her face, hugged me and reaffirmed I was right and her love for me is about who I am. I never felt as close to my mom as I did at the moment. I also never felt as loved and protected by her..

Another reason my mom is great. She knows what to say. She can walk that fine line of acknowledgment without intruding. She know it is not her place to start to talk about the subject, but let me know it did not matter to her..Also she was there for me when I was ready to bring it up to her. More importantly she wanted to let me know me being male or female is not important to her. She loves me and want me to be who I am, for I am.

I know that she knows. Somehow it all added up to her at that moment. They say that mothers know their children better than anyone else. I think there is some truth in that statement. It is not some magical ability which all moms have. It is from how much a mother’s love is unconditional and they care for their sons and daughters. That caring leads to an in-depth and profound understanding of their children.

The night ended with all four of us in the living room. My dad did embarrassed me a little. I was shocked that he was able to by doing something so innocent and nice. He told Dana and me not to be scared to show affection at his home and a couple if love should do so whenever they can.

It makes sense my dad’s stance on little signs of affection, my dad is not the best with verbal communication of his emotions. Oh , he is good at saying affectionate remarks but almost never is the one who initiates it. He does begin the nonverbal communication of his feeling non verbally. When my mom and dad are out in public, his hands always reaches out to hold her while they are walking.

I was happy to find out that Bridget and her Mom, Ms Crilly, are coming over for Thanksgiving. It will be like old times other than Mr Crilly not being there.

Have a good night

Day 89
Hiya PD

Tomorrow is what I used to call gobble gobble day. I was young and used to walk around the house saying gobble gobble. I love Thanksgiving for it is some simple bit at the same time it should be a needless holiday. Each day we should be thankful of what we have. In life too many times we get wrapped up in what is not important and forget how fortunate we are. It is easy not to be grateful when we pay more attention to what is insignificant than to what is significant.

A family tradition I love we all bring part of the thanksgiving feast to our parents. I always bring the breads, rolls and a non traditional dessert. Not everyone likes pumpkin pie. This year it is a chocolate pie.Not a normal one, there is seven different forms of chocolate in this pie. I been eyeing it up and this is now my chance to have a piece of it. I am trying to lose weight so I have to pick and choose when I have sweets. That is hard for sweetie has a sweet tooth.

Pink, I know I should had started this entry with what I am about to say, but did not feel it was my place. I am just going to be straightforward, Stacy is leaving Gary. She found out that he was not on a business trip when his work called. They needed him to come in for a day and called the house. It was not a shock to her, for Stacy had suspicion about her husband being unfaithful to her.

I do not like to talk too much about how others are feeling, but needed to here. My friend is so devastated, distressed and depressed I need to cover it, for I am all those things for her also. I will be there for her.

She is going to stay with me for as long as she wants. I was not going to take no for an answer. The last thing Stacy needed was to be dealing with the breakup of her marriage alone during the holiday season. Being alone is fine most of the time, it is not when one feels lonely. Stacy needed support right now.

She will be coming over my parent’s for Thanksgiving. Again, something I was not going to take no for an answer to. She fought accepting it until I told her Bridget and Ms Crilly was going to be there. Hearing about the other guests perked up her spirits some and made her open to accepting that she was coming to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I guess it was for she was not going to be out of place there. My parents believe that family is beyond blood. Stacy is family so she is coming.

BRB, someone is ringing my doorbell.

That no good SOB, Gary just came to my house. He tried to invade the safe place I made for Stacy here when I told to leave. I would not allow him in and when he said he had the right to talk to his wife. I informed him, no he did not if she did not want to talk to him. Communication is a two way street and never directly contact someone who does not want to talk to you, unless that person interacts with you directly or indirectly.

That is what got me mad. I do not care about his verbal attacks on me. He is a small minded self centered person who was upset that he was not getting his way. He really thinks that I care about his opinion of me or if he puts me down.

I should not say this, but he does not understand that Stacy is done with him. I know that for how she talks about him, disappointed and sadness about the ending of their love and marriage. What is missing is anger towards him as a person,his actions yes but not him. She made that decision to move on. I back her up not for I think it is the right decision, but that is what she wants.

He made a mistake trying to come into my house. Oh, I did not hit him but he found out I am not a “delicate little flower of a man.” I am a man, yes but I am no male. Males protect and female defends. Defending is more intense and protective. I was like a momma bear and he was trying to walk into my den, bad move.

One thing I am happy that he did not make a scene when I stepped outside to talk with him. He was smart enough to back down. I wish he had not try to do that macho thing and try to steamroll me into getting his way. I do not care that he came over, he had the right to try to talk with his wife. I do care that he try to use physicality to get into my house.

He might still love her and made a huge mistake. But he does not have the right to be heard out again by her. If he was truly concerned about what was best for her, he would give her the time and space she needed.

I am laughing now for Stacy is the one who needs support yet she was there for me after he left. I needed to be talked down, I was so emotional. I wished Dana was here to talk me down, he has such a calming effect on me. My man knew that Stacy needed time with me so he did a double shift at the hospital. He also did it to help others get home to prepare to do tomorrow what we should do each day, enjoy the presence of our loved ones and give thanks.


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