A Friend in Need is a Friend in Deed -- Chp. 24 Knights and Defenders

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Chapter 24 – Knight and Defenders

I sat down to write one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write.

Dear Dean,

I am sorry that when you came back in to the rink to talk to me, you found me in the arms of Tommy.

I need to tell you how that happened. I knew Tommy from a summer school class. You met him before. He found me on the ice balling after reading your note. When I handed it to him, he lent me his shoulder to cry on. That is what you saw on the rink when you came back in. Tommy was comforting me.

When you didn’t show up at school and I didn’t hear from you, I became dejected. Tommy helped pick up my spirits and the pieces after you broke contact with me.

Honestly, I wasn’t looking to replace you or forget about you or seeking to hurt you.

Tommy and I have been going to the mall this summer to watch movies together. I am enjoying it and his company too. But, we are going out together knowing that one day it will end. Tommy and I are learning to date.

I had hoped you hadn’t seen us at the movies. But you did.

Please understand. I do still love you. But you are a million miles from me now. And I am still a growing girl with feelings even I don’t understand yet. And you are a growing boy with feeling too.

My Grandma says it will be years before I mature enough to understand what love really is. I think she is right.

Please accept my apologizes. I never wanted to hurt you, And, I really was out of town. I was in Colorado visiting my brother and his fiancee.

Your first love,

Jackie

I folded it up neatly and placed it in Grace’s hands. “Here Grace. Send this with your letter to Dean. I hope it helps him.”

Grace was surprised by what Tommy and I had told her. “Did he really give you a note and run off? He never mentioned that.” she said.

Tommy interceded, “Yes. When I saw Jackie, I skated up to her to say hello and ask how her ice dancing class went with Dean. I found her balling her eyes out and then I saw the note in her hand. I took it from her and read it. I am not going to mince words. He said it was too painful for him to ever see her again. But, you can read it for yourself, I have kept the letter in my wallet for safe keeping.” I looked at him astonished that he had kept the letter and grateful at the same time.

Grace read the letter and began to cry. “Oh my! I am sorry for doubting you Jackie. I thought you were just being mean to Dean. But, this letter shows me why you were so upset. So, what class did you guys have last summer?” She handed the letter back to Tommy.

Tommy saved the day again, “It was an acting class. That is the reason we are quote unquote dating now is that we both want to improve our dating skills without hurting anyone.”

“Do you think it could turn serious at some point?” Grace asked sounding not quite believing what she heard.

“Frankly, Grace, if it does, that would be fine with me and possibly Jackie too.” I nodded. “But, Jackie is twelve and I am thirteen. We both realize that it won’t be for another couple of years that we will even be in a place where we can say for sure what our real feelings are. And our parents are making sure that the time we spend together is just for fun and we aren’t getting too serious.”

I added, “Just like with Dean and I, Tommy knows I wouldn’t be able to officially date until I was in 9th grade. Although Tommy and I call what we are doing now dating, the truth is that we both know it isn’t really dating. Neither of us can drive, or drink, or even have a full time job or a part time job either. It is not like we could get married or plan a family, or own a house together.”

“So, when I watched you two flirting, holding hands, being affectionate, it wasn’t for real?” Grace sounded skeptical.

“Well, yes and no.” I said.

Thankfully, Tommy expanded my comment with out my having to explain, “We genuinely like each other and have warm affectionate feelings for each other.” Grace smiled at hearing this from him. “So, the affection you see is very real. But, there is no commitment beyond a six month plan to be companions and close caring friends with the understanding that we could one day be future lovers. And frankly, that is almost the same exact arrangement she had with Dean. So, I really think if anyone is out of line, it is Dean. I saw an opportunity and I went for it.”

She nodded in agreement. “I can see your point. But, I feel for Dean, Jackie. I have known him for years. You were so good for him. I hope this letter helps.”

“Grace, I am thrilled I was good for him. But, whether he shut me or out or not, he moved. Which means, as I told him, we both would eventually move on. It wasn’t what I wanted. Either way it ended, I would have likely ended up with Tommy because we are sympatico. The simple truth is that if Dean had stayed, we would still be together. He left and I was forced to move on when I was dumped at the rink. I am happy that Tommy was there to help mend my broken heart.”

“That makes sense. I think I understand.” Grace got up to leave. We said our goodbyes. I hugged her and she left. “See you in 8th grade choir.” We sat back down. My ice cream was melted. I didn’t care. I started to cry. I was shaking.

“Are you going to be okay, Pips?”

“Yeah. I just didn’t want to hurt Dean. Come to think of it, I totally don’t want to hurt you either. Are you okay with all this? You have been so incredibly kind to me.”

“Yes. It’s okay. I don’t bruise that easily. And, I can keep a secret.”

I found his remark baffling. “Oh yeah, my secret, that I am a boy?”

“No, that you really are a girl in a boy’s body.” I was speechless. I was a deer caught in the headlights.

“Don’t say anything, Pips. Don’t ever tell me I am right so I can never quote you to John. I know Cat and how his mind works. I have always admired him. Since Kindergarten, in fact. He is one of the few people at school who sees me more than a stupid jock into sports and beyond the macho things I do. He chose you as a model because he believes in you and truly cares about you. That was all I needed to know that my hunches were right. Just relax and enjoy our time together. I have your back. I don’t tell someone I am their friend lightly. Whatever you decide to be and whenever you reveal your true self, I will be there for you. But, as for me and even when our time as partners ends, I see only girl and that is all I will ever or want to see, unless you decide otherwise. Girlfriend, we will always be friends.”

I looked at him and my eyes filled with tears and I began to lose it. He took me into his strong arms and I buried my head in his shoulder and just sobbed. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to say anything. He just stroked my back. And he proved to me the kind of man he would be when he grew up. Strong men don’t have to be afraid of woman or insecure about a woman in a man’s body. I just discovered my partner was a giant. A kind warmhearted lovable giant whose shadow cast one hell of a shelter. And I was lucky to be under it. The shadow of my friend.

After what seemed like an eternity of crying, which was probably only five minutes, I looked back up to him. “Oh my. I am sorry. Seems like I have ruined your shirt.”

Tommy laughed. “It’s okay, you haven’t ruined my life.”

I gave him instructions on how to clean his shirt. Then, at that moment, a thought hit me. I got a worried look on my face and Tommy asked, “What’s the problem?”

“Not what, who. Connie?”

Tommy nodded. “I wish I could say she won’t be a problem, but, you have convinced her that you are scared about being found out and I have encouraged that conclusion on her part too. When I told her about how you were treated by the boys and called a sissy when she wasn’t around, she told me she now believes you are waiting for puberty to fully kick in before changing back to Samuel. She feels sorry for you.”

“Thank you! You are a good friend. I very much appreciate you.” He smiled and patted me on the back. I needed to change the subject. “What movie will we see next?” I asked as I dried my tears and fixed my makeup.

Tommy looked at me with kind eyes and an engaging winsome smile. I could tell he wanted to see the next movie. “The Mask of Zorro. It should be a nice action movie and a romantic one too.”

He knew I loved romance and I knew he loved action. “Thanks Tommy. You know how to make a girl feel special.” I blushed. For the first time I knew he was looking at the real me knowing this was how I wanted to live my life.

Jane picked us up. I wondered if she noticed how really close we were as we drove Tommy home. We weren’t flirting as much, but we seemed very content with each other. He got out to walk me to the front passenger door again. I didn’t kiss him on the cheek. I hugged him and thanked him for a wonderful date. “I love you Tommy Hinks, you are one of the kindest boys I have ever known.”

“I love you too, Pips. You are one of the nicest girls I have ever known.”

As we drove away, Jane drilled me. “Okay, what happened? What did I miss?”

“At the food court, Grace showed up to confront me about Dean. Turns out that Dean saw us at the rink hugging. He had come back in to say he was sorry. I sent off a note to him via Grace. Tommy really stepped up to the plate so Grace didn’t have a chance to find me out but also backed me up on the truth of what happened. He had kept the letter so she could see why I was crying at the rink. What could have been a disaster turned into a triumph.”

Jane put her hand on my knee. “You know, Pips. I like Tommy. I don’t know the lucky girl who is going to get him, but she had better keep him.”

I looked out the window at the passing landscape. There was a part of me that really wished I would be that lucky girl. But, there was another part that felt he wasn’t meant for me as a husband. However, as a friend, I could count on him to help me make it as a girl. And that wasn’t so bad a compromise.

When we got home, I opened a letter from Debbie. It was sweet and cheerful. Thanking me for everything. It included a simple plea though. Could I add a song to the wedding, either during the ceremony or the reception? I unfolded the sheet music she sent. I knew I couldn’t sing this one upstairs. I needed to know if I could handle it in front of a crowd, or rather, my Dad. So, I went upstairs and grabbed my guitar and music stand. I brought it downstairs into the living room. I set up the music stand and the music. I called out, “Daddy, could you come here for a moment please.” He came out of the den and looked at me. I usually wasn’t so insistent.

“What is it honey?” he said sounding concerned.

“I need to know if I can handle singing this song in front of a group of people without losing it before I can tell Debbie yes.” He looked at me strangely. “Please, Daddy?” I pleaded.

I knew that if I sang it at the wedding, I would be singing it to him too. Dad said, “Okay, I will come and listen, although, I can’t see why.” He sat down. I perched myself on the edge of the couch, tuned the guitar, adjusted the sheet music, and began to sing even though tears filled my eyes …

There's a man who always stood right by me
Tall and proud and good when times were bad
Too much heart, is the only fault that I see
This song's not for you folks
It's for my dad
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmYJhRDBLvs ]

Jane wandered in about the time I started and heard what I was singing to Dad. I sang all the lyrics. But, the whole time, tears flowed down my face. When I looked up at her, Jane was crying as well. We both looked at my Dad. He was crying too. I put the guitar down. He got up and I went to him and hugged him like my life depended on it. Jane joined me. The three of us just stood there and cried. Mom came in to ask what we would like for dinner. We must have sounded like blabbering idiots to her. It took about fifteen minutes before any one of us sounded coherent enough to tell her what I just sang to him.

“So, Debbie wants you to sing this at the reception?” Mom brushed away a couple of tears of her own off of her face.

I blew my nose and sobbed out, “Yes. S-she w-would l-like me to sing it to h-h-her d-dad f-f-o-r-r ...”

Mom finished it for me. “For the father daughter dance.” I just nodded yes and blew my nose again.

Jane was sobbing too when she put in her two cents worth. “I-I t-think it is a w-wonderful i-idea, M-Mom.”

“I agree.” Dad interjected. He was still crying too but had an easier time expressing himself.

Mom, shook her head. “This isn’t going to work if you start balling your eyes out again. But I have an idea.”

“W-what d-do y-you h-have in m-mind M-Mom?” Jane inquired. She was still emotional too.

“Why don’t you and Debbie record it and play it at the reception as back up if you can’t handle it?”

“G-Good i-idea!” I buried my face in my Dad and he just held onto me and smiled with pride that his child loved him so much.

Grandpa walked in at that point. “Who died?”

Jane cried out, “N-No o-one!” She flung herself around her grandfather’s neck and started crying again. He stood there trying to figure out what to do. Finally, he just hugged her back and started to comfort her.

About an hour later, we were laughing about it, but Mom’s suggestion was an excellent one. I called Debbie and talked to her.

“Hey Debbie, Pips here.”

“What did you think of the song?”

“Loved it. Lost it though. We cried for nearly an hour. It is such a beautiful song. How ever did you find it? My Mom came up with a suggestion though on how you can have it at the wedding and get around the crying problem.”

“What? You cried too. I thought it was just me. Nancy Sinatra just released it as a tribute to her Dad. When I heard it, I fell apart too.” I could hear sniffles on the other end.

“Mom suggested we record it in advance. So, I could sing it live, but if there is a problem, we can switch to the recorded version. Alternatively, I could play the music and let you sing it and record you too, then it could be played during your dance.”

She kept sniffling. “Oh, I could never do that! Although it sounds like a really good idea and very original.”

“Well, we got studios up the street here. I think we could do it next time you are out here. Anyway, think about it. I need a few days to get over the crying and then I could do a recording. There is a studio here where I think it will only cost about fifty bucks.”

“Oh, no, you all have done enough already.”

“Not a problem, Jane wants to use it her wedding. So, we would be doing it anyway. She wants to thank you for finding a fantastic song. So do I. It is beautiful and you deserve it. So, we are going to spend the money anyway.”

“Thanks kid. I will think about it.”

“Mom also wants you to know that I will have the dresses made for Jane and Mrs. Murphy by the end of the week. When can we get the others done?”

“I can get the basic measurements to you, right? Then I can arrange for them to have a final fitting nearer the wedding. Does that work?”

“Yes, I can have the outfits made prior to their coming here and then adjust them accordingly. But, it will be a zoo around that time. Sooner would be nicer. Also, Mom wants to talk you about the menu. Nothing bad. Just wants to finalize some details. She was smiling when she said it. She thinks she can get the costs of the entrees down to seven dollars a person and save your budget around one thousand dollars.”

“Sounds great! How about the cost of the drinks?”

“Iced tea shouldn’t cost much. But, Grandpa talked to the church. They don’t have enough pitchers to serve them with. So, we found a solution that you will love.”

“What is that?”

“Turns out that Wal-Mart sells plastic water pitchers for a buck a piece. We should be able to have two per table. Plus, we can have other drinks available too at drink stations too. We found plastic ware for the glasses that looks elegant too. That will make clean up a breeze and reduce the overhead.”

“Sounds like your Mom has it all worked out? I owe her so much.”

“Yes, she does have it worked out. I think yours would have worked it out for you too. I am sorry she won’t be able to be there for you. But, my Mom feels like she is getting practice for Jane’s wedding and is really enjoying it more than she thought she would. Plus, I think she really likes helping you too.”

“Thank you for lending me your Mom, Pips.”

“No problem. Thank you for sharing your feelings.”

“Thanks for asking, Pips.”

Later that week, the five boys and Tommy assembled at the school. Connie and I were in our flapper outfits. The boys were in their costumes. Tommy was in a beige seersucker suit with a silk midnight with Michael’s signature blue. I even had the armband around his right arm. The fedora hat was perfect too.

We began to work through the blocked moves without the music first. We repeated it about five times over our first hour so we would get comfortable doing them and remember them. Connie and my role was as back up dancers. We were window dressing.

The second hour, the music was turned on. Mrs. Duncan began to play the music and watch us dance to the music. She used hand signals to say speed up or slow down. She used a hand signal to say move on to the next element. It was different to do it to the music. But it was fun too. Having had to do a routine on the ice, I had become familiar with how it all worked. Even though the Munich dance routine didn’t have the brief tango, she had worked it in to this one based on the original video Jackson did for the song. When Tommy took my hand and twirled me into him and began to do the couple of steps, he was so sexy and larger than life.

The boys were thrilled too by their coach who stopped in to watch us. “Guys, the day of the wedding is an official practice day. But, I have given you permission to be at the wedding. This routine is going to be used to give us a winning season. Fantastic!” It was also revealed that each of them would be earning $150 working the tables at the wedding which would mean that their uniforms were paid for this season (school policy). The parents were thrilled by the news. Quite a few of them were there to watch the boys practice. They were Jackson fans and thrilled to see their sons work the routine.

In addition to the parents, a few of them had their girlfriends there too. There was lots of giggling and phrases like “You look so handsome!” floating around the gym. The final part of the practice session was doing the dance in the gym in the location it would be during the school rally and getting the principal’s okay. Principal Norris looked at me with interest during the setup for the dance as Mrs. Duncan blocked out with painter’s tape starting positions. I could tell he was surprised by my appearance.

“Hey Jackie. Nice to meet you, again.”

“Hi Principal Norris. I guess you know.” I said in as soft a voice as I could get away with.

“Yes. I know. You really don’t look like I remembered at all. I don’t think anyone here will know you anymore. I wouldn’t have unless I had been reminded by Mrs. Duncan. By the way, I was disappointed that you fell from the number one student until I heard that it was less than half a percentage point between you and the number one. Plus, she says number one is your best friend.”

“I know, but Mary worked hard and she is my best friend. We both worked hard. And she really is smart. And she is a real good friend.” I was flabbergasted that he was keeping up with my school performance.

“Good. Of course, Tommy is thrilled to be number one now.”

“He deserves it. He works hard too. He is doing all his English reading this summer. Did you know that?”

“No, really? I am impressed with that young man! Good to see his making sure he isn’t just another dumb jock.”

“And, he is doing special weight training and exercises to improve his usefulness on the field.”

“Great! Who is his trainer?”

“My brother, Robert.”

“You have got to be kidding me! Robert?”

“Yes, and he is getting his teaching degree at CSU. He has decided to become a teacher and a coach.”

“Good for him. Tell him when it comes time to do his in class internship for his teaching certification to give me a call personally. I promise I will let him do it here. I remember him helping students on the football team improve their performance back when he went here. I told him then that if he ever put his mind to his studies like he did for football, he would be a straight A student.”

“I shall.”

“How about Jane? How is she doing?” I told him about her wedding, Doc Oliver, and her studies.

“Well, it is good to see you again. And, from what I hear, you are doing God’s work with law enforcement. It is a bit strange to see you like this. But, I must say, you are a beautiful young lady.”

“Thank you. Oh, in case you didn’t know, Tommy is my partner.”

“Yes, I know. I wish you both good luck as you pursue bad guys.”

Everything was set up and we began our dance. Principal Norris watched us and applauded at the end. “Awesome! Well done.” He came up to talk to us. “Mrs. Duncan, I think it is good to use girls who don’t go here because I don’t want the boys chasing them during school. And ladies, you did a very nice job out there. Which means, boys, make sure no one accosts them before or after your performance.”

The boys said in unison, “Yes Sir!” Connie and I just giggled and winked at each other. We went off to the ladies room. In the hallway, she stopped for a moment as we entered. “Wow, I just realized, you haven’t been in a, you know, bathroom for a while, have you?”

I whispered, “I wear an appliance, so I can’t stand anyway.”

She looked a little baffled. “Do you, like, get thrills being in here?”

I whispered again, “No. Frankly, I avoid using bathrooms if someone is in them. At Danvers, I use the office one next to my Mom most of the time. But, if someone knows me like you or Mary, I don’t worry because there are stalls. Are you okay with it? I can wait if it bothers you.”

“Oh, no. Don’t wait. I was just curious.”

After relieving ourselves, we washing our hands and checking our makeup when a couple of cheerleaders came in. They were here part of a meeting to set up recruitment in the fall. “Did you see Phil in that suit? He is so cute. And I love the dance they were doing. Sm-moot-th criminal.” The cheerleader did a slide to illustrate her point. “I didn’t think football players had dancing skill in them.”

The other cheerleader said, “Oh they can dance, but they like to do it in the end zone more than the side lines.” They stopped when they saw us in our outfits.

“Hello girls! We loved what you guys were doing out there. You look so cute in your costumes. Hey, aren’t you Connie Hinks?” one of them said. Connie smiled.

“Yes, I am Tricia. I remember you. You were always asking questions about becoming a cheerleader. I am glad you did.”

She responded. “Well, Miriam here twisted my arm and got me to join. That is why I asked you all those questions. She was trying to convince me and I knew you were on the cheer leading squad.”

“You two are so cute. Don’t I know you? You seem familiar. But I can’t put my finger on it.” the second one said. I recognized her. Her name is Miriam Sanders. She was the one I pretended to marry in fourth grade so we could give the guys ex-lax. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh at the memory.

I put out my hand quickly. “Hi, my name is Jackie. I go to Danvers Middle School. I am in 8th grade too. I am Tommy’s girlfriend. Connie’s brother. What’s your name?” By acting first, I avoided her hearing my last name. I would have to remind Principal Norris not to announce my last name so people put two and two together.

“Miriam. I am in 8th grade. Pleased to meet you Jackie.” I was glad to see she hadn’t become a snob. She was one of the few who were kind to me in fourth grade.

“Well, Connie, is she worthy of our Tommy?” Tricia asked.

She looked at me and smiled, “Yes. Yes she is! She has that something extra that defines her as very unique and different.” She winked. I didn’t laugh, but I wanted to roll on the floor.

After we left, “Thanks Connie. Miriam almost recognized me. That was scary.”

“Yes, I caught it too. She was looking you over. I am almost certain your fake boobs threw her, but, the sad thing about your particular flapper outfit is that it evens out the curves on a lady because of the fringes and makes her look more boyish. Now I see why you are anxious to look so girly.”

“Do you think I should find a different flapper outfit for our school performance?”

“Most definitely. It would help. And I want to do it with you. I can help you get a flapper outfit that hugs a figure and shapes you in such a fashion that someone like Miriam won’t remember you as boy.”

So, we made an appointment to look around for a substitute outfit for me and work on it. Actually, working with Connie was going to be a treat.

Later, at Erin’s office, “Yes, I know this is a science thing you did in school. But, I want you to look at it differently.” Erin said. I went ahead and pushed the north end of a magnet and the other north end of a magnet, so, naturally, it repelled of course. The other magnet was between to rigid blocks, so the only thing it could do was move away.

“Remove either rigid pole lying on the table. And then try.” Erin said. I did so and although it repelled, it flipped around and suddenly attached to my magnet.

“What does this show me, Erin?”

“It shows you what is beginning to happen in your family dynamic. The rigid poles holding you to your biological sex are being removed. Slowly, members of your family are dropping their rigid stance. In time, they all will flip around and embrace you as Samantha.” I smiled.

“So, what do I do?”

“Listen to Doug’s advice. He is spot on. Let your sister and your grandmother work on them after you are gone. From what I see, your parents are building a rigid structure right now to keep you as Samuel. Now, most advocates would see that as bad. I see it as good. The reason is that they want the best for you. They feel that your best future lies in you being what you were born to be. Like the magnet, which resisted at first when you pushed, they will quickly snap into position if they have the right guidance.”

“Can I give them that guidance?”

“No, that will come from those in the family who are already becoming informed about you. Your grandmother and your sister are learning more and more about you even now. I would largely suspect that they will ask you innocent questions. Answer them innocently. When you make your trip to Canada soon, they will be home talking to them about what if you don’t want to change. They will be the north of your magnet gently pushing your Dad and your Mom. And the innocent questions they will ask will be the foundation of their arguments in the future.”

“Wow! Okay. I trust you. Oh, can I pour you more tea, by the way?”

“Oh yes, please. I really enjoy tea time with you. And that is a really cute outfit, where did you get it?”

I poured her more tea and we had girl time. I loved it. We talked outfits, weddings, and a whole bunch more.

But, she went over one more thing with me which gave me a moment of angst and pride. “I can tell you have matured and are strong enough to hear what I want to pass on to you. I do have one client that has successfully remained the sex he was born in, even though he feels dysphoria like you. I want you to think about it and talk to me next time, okay. What he has is a very strong maternal instinct. I mean strong. It is that instinct that caused him to be able to accept his situation in life. The desire to hold his own child his arms was so high that it competed with his dysphoria and overwhelmed it. In his teens, he knew that his sister would never share her eggs nor would he be able to have a family of his own if he pursued the course he secretly desired. It took him some years into his twenties, but he was able to reconcile his feminine side by becoming the kind of man he knew a good woman needed. He phrases it as he mothered himself into manhood. He is happily married. And he really is content. But, he credits his ability to be that way to the maternal nature he was born with because of being transgender. Not every transgender has an instinct that strong. Ironically, he says what he enjoys most, other than his wife, is teaching his sons to be gentlemen and how to treat women with respect and to respect their intelligence. I won’t tell you how he spoils his daughter. But, I bet you can guess she gets lots of Daddy dates. And, his children are never told that it is wrong to cry. In fact, they have seen their Dad cry and be tender.”

“I will think it over. Are you telling me this because you think I am wrong about being a girl?” I asked with a concerned tone.

“Oh no, but I would be remiss not to tell you that Samuel could still work if you put your mind to it and find something to hold on to that is stronger than your dysphoria. You need to know that you are strong enough to go in any direction you choose. I am telling you that you aren’t the same little frightened girl that first came into my office.”

“You mean it?”

“Oh yes, Samantha, you have matured and grown considerably. You have become a fine young woman.”

“Thank you, Erin.” I smiled and blushed. “So, you really think I can master this either way I go.”

“Yes. And it is not wrong to go with girl, either. I think that is most definitely the direction you are headed. Let me put it this way, when you first came into my office, it was the little girl talking. Today, it is a matured individual who has confidence and grace.”

When I got home, I found Erin nailed it. While doing laundry with Jane, she casually asked, “Do you remember my dressing you as a girl when you were two?”

“Sadly, no. I wish I did. It is a memory I would love to relive. You must have been having fun with your little brother.”

“Yeah, I wish Grandma Zimmer wasn’t so unhappy with my work. You were very upset.”

“I am sure she didn’t mean to hurt me. Doug thinks that is why I became so withdrawn.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he says I can be overly sensitive. I guess I was. Dr. Cramer says I have been outgrowing it. But I think you already knew that. Even though I was being a brat, I could tell you still cared about me and wanted to help me.” I began to tear up for moment.

“Thanks Sis, I really did.”

We went upstairs and put away the laundry and began our other chores.

The next day, the house was filled with girls galore. Jane took care of Brian. He had become her favorite. I played with Carol. And Alice was having fun with Sarah. We gabbed and played the whole time. It was grand fun. Miranda was thrilled with her dress for the wedding. I carefully fitted her and made her look special for her role as the flower girl. When Mr. Murphy showed up to pick her up, she modeled the dress. She was all smiles. One by one, they all left. Mrs. Smith came to pick up the triplets and it was just Jane and me.

Jane sounded dreamy when she observed, “You look happy, Pips.”

I giggled. “I am very happy, Jane. I never knew being a girl could be so much fun.”

“Shh, don’t let the secret out. Go get changed and lets go see Tommy and Connie.” I squealed with pleasure and ran upstairs to get changed. I think she noticed how much I enjoyed my time with him too. And frankly, I was building up a cadre of supporters.

It was near the end of the month and we had one more sting out in Shreveport, Louisiana. I heard that riverboat gambling had come to the area recently and with its history of brothels, it had attracted those who wished to have sex with young girls and boys. I was disgusted at the concept, of course. This sting was different. Tommy and I were in swim outfits next to a covered pool and a one way mirror. We were supposed to be chummy and into each other. That is all we were told to be. And, we needed to make it work.

So, we became sweeties that day. We would hold each others hands and just talk like the song of Annie Lennox says, ‘Just like lovers do.’ And we would exchange embraces. I turned on a boombox and began to teach Tommy how to dance the Fox Trot. He was a quick learner. But, when he stepped on my toe, I would look down in disgust and he would take his hand and raise my chin, say he was sorry, and give me a quick kiss on the lips after which I would giggle. Then we would continue our dance lesson until he became really good at it. In a strange sort of way, I wanted him to make more mistakes so I could get more kisses on the mouth. Then we moved on to quick steps and simple dance steps. We also practiced our tango.

We made sure we put sunscreen on each other and did it slowly for show. It became very, how shall I say, stimulating. That evening, as Tommy and I cooked dinner, Debbie commented, “You two are really into each other. We caught at least fifty men today and our first woman. I hope that isn’t a trend.”

On the flight back to home, we again held hands. There was a storm we had to fly around which made our trip longer. Tommy could see that I was scared. He held me and I melted. “Thanks Tommy. Do you mind my asking you a question?”

“Sure?”

“How come you don’t mind being called Tommy. I would think it would become annoying to be called what some might consider a little boy’s name.”

“Depends. I have learned that by the way someone says my name, I know what they think of me. If they say it with respect, I know they like me. If they say it like a little boy’s name, they don’t respect me.”

“How do I say it?” I said concerned that I might be saying it wrong.

“When you say it, all I hear is love, respect, and honor. You say it like it is a real manly man’s name.”

“Good, because I value your friendship and I love you very much.”

“I know you do, Pips. Some guy is going to be a lucky man when he lands you for a bride.”

“Would you be my maid of honor?” He was startled by my question.

He quickly replied, “I don’t know. I don’t think I have the legs for it.”

“I could use long skirts if that helps.” I teased.

“Well then, maybe?” He chuckled. “But only if I get to choose the lipstick color that goes with it.” he said assertively.

I feigned disapproval in my voice and said, “I guess not then. There are just some non-negotiables with women you are going to have to accept in life Tommy Hinks. Lipstick color is one of them.” We both laughed and held each other.

The plane landed and my Grandma picked me and Jane up. The two took me to movie for a ‘girls night out.’ We saw ‘There’s Something About Mary.’ We left the movie theater with me promising to be more careful when I played the guitar for someone. On the drive home, I got teased, and teased, and teased about the way I found a song to fit a romantic or emotional situation. Grandma had me in stitches in the back seat. “Grandma, I love you.”

“I love you too, Pips.”

As she walked me to the door and handed me my suitcase, Grandma leaned into my ear and said softly, “I love my granddaughter very much. She is a treasure.”

I kissed her goodnight and gave her a big hug which was returned. Jane took my suitcase and went inside leaving me with Grandma.

“Honey, can we go to the salon together soon?”

“Oh yes, Grandma, I would love that!”

The next few days flew by and I found myself sitting in front of a mirror with Jane teaching me more on how to pretty myself up for Tommy. I had found a really cute silk blouse and pleated skirt combination at the store. The skirt had buttons going the front too. It was so cute too. I looked more teenage than adult in it, so Jane was showing me some techniques to be more teenage in the face too. I went with a headband too. For the first time, I let a movie influence my look. I liked how the girls dressed in Clueless. I even wore a black jacket to go along with the plaid skirt. And, I had a new silver purse to go with the outfit too.

Grandma came wondering in to watch us work. “That’s a lot of work for a boy that you won’t be dating after the first of the year, don’t you think Honey?” She didn’t ask it in an accusatory tone. More of one of concern that it was all for naught. I could see that too, but was trying to forget it. This was time to embrace it.

“Yeah, but I really like to look pretty for him. It makes me feel good.” I responded.

“Well, I hope the young man appreciates all your hard work, because I sure do. You look stunning and cute in that dress.”

I turned around and asked in pert sort of way, “You really think so, Grandma? Thank you!” I went over and gave her a hug.

She hugged me back and said with a twinkle in her eye, “Pips, let’s say you look scrumptious.” I giggled. I didn’t care if I sounded like a girl around her anymore.

Jane dropped me off at the mall and I found Tommy waiting for me out front. “I am sorry I made you wait. That wasn’t very nice of me. Forgive me?” I pouted.

“Oh Pips, how could I be angry with you looking like this! Come on. The movie starts in ten minutes. We’ll get something to eat afterwards.” He put his arm around me and I felt loved. The movie was thrilling. I learned a new word. Vigorous. Well, I knew it already. But, it was the way it was said. Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas were so steamy and sexy. Had I been complete, I would have been putty in Tommy’s hands.

During the movie, something special happened too. We held hands and when Antonio would kiss the hand of a lady, Tommy would kiss mine too. There was a part of me that longed for him to do the same when it came to lips, but I could understand why he didn’t. I wouldn’t have objected if he did though.

We ate in the food court again, but finished quickly. We had some time to kill and went for a long walk around the mall where Tommy probably felt he could show me off. I had different ideas. I pulled him in a nice men’s store, Structure, and showed him so nice clothes he would look good in. He seemed to enjoy being seen in the store with his girlfriend, instead of his Mom.

“Please, no baggy pants though. I don’t care if that is the style. I don’t want to see your boxers.” I said.

“Okay, okay. It is just some of the guys are doing it, you know, to look cool.”

“You already look cool. And I don’t dress like this so you can look like a pile of clothes walking around in a mall. Ugh!”

“You do look rather nice today. I like it. I really appreciate the work you put into it. I see Connie getting dressed and she spends a good deal of time on her outfits and looking good. I suppose you do too. I mean, I have watched you get ready for the stings. You do really work at it.”

“Thank you, Tommy. I do put a lot of work into it. And seeing your smile when you look at me makes it all worth it.”

I don’t know how, but Mrs. Hinks came into the store and found us. “Oh, there you two are. I didn’t find you in the food court and I suspected someone would get you in here sooner or later.” She winked at me. So, she started to help me find clothes for Tommy.

“Mom, please! I don’t want it.” Mrs. Hinks looked at me for support.

“Trust me Tommy, it will look good on you. School is just around the corner. In a few weeks, soon, there will be no selection in here because of the back to school sales. Your Mom is right.”

There is nothing more helpless that a boy with his Mom and his girlfriend working on him. To make matters worse, I don’t know how she found us, Connie wandered in too. “Yes, Tommy, I love that on you. It is a nice sweater.” Connie said.

Now the poor guy had his Mom and two girls giving him fashion advice. Truth be told, Tommy was smiling ear to ear. He loved his Mom and his sister too. I could see it in his eyes. The way he hugged his Mom when she came into the store. The way he teased his sister and she teased him back.

For the next hour, Tommy was at our mercy and we loved it. What was supposed to be just a date turned into a shopping date. And, secretly, I loved it too. I liked that my boyfriend had some style and looked nice too. Of course, it is easy for a guy. Good fitting pants and a nice shirt. That is all they need.

We barely got the trunk closed with all the clothes Mrs. Hinks purchased for Tommy. We gave each other high fives that we had turned a simple date into a shopping spree and he was a deer caught in the headlights.

Mrs. Hinks was impressed that he opened the door for her first and then for me. I was also impressed that when he walked around the car, he opened the door for his sister to get in the front driver’s seat. I thought it was sweet that Connie knew to wait for him to do that. That the women out with him all waited for him to do his masculine duty was a tribute to what a real gentleman he was and what they expected him to be.

When he dropped me off at the house, he opened my door and walked me to my front door. “Thank you Tommy for a wonderful date.” I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you for helping embarrass me.” he quipped.

“Tell the truth. You loved it, didn’t you?” I said. Tommy grinned.

“Yeah, I did. See you next time. Although, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of movies coming out.”

“How about miniature golf then?”

“That works. I will find out where and call you tomorrow.” I waved as he returned to the car.

I went inside to find Mom looking at a letter. It was from the Pilsners. Apparently, Dean had been in an accident and was in the hospital. Some boys in the new neighborhood had challenged him to do something dangerous on a skateboard and he had accepted the challenge.

Mom wasn't happy. “They want you to come see him. They said he misses you.”

All I could think of is ‘what was I going to do?’

Copyright © 2017 by AuP reviner

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Comments

Sure, now he wants her.........

D. Eden's picture

Typical guy - now that he's hurting he wants Samantha with him. But when she needed him, where was he? This is the same guy who couldn't be a man and face her, instead he sent her a letter telling her he didn't want to see her anymore.

Reminds me of the asshats that do it by text message.

D

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

In Dean's defense

Haylee V's picture

He was, prior to meeting Sam, very shy and withdrawn, if you remember. Samantha was his FIRST "girlfriend". He really didn't have the knowledge of how to let someone down easy, and so he probably did the only thing he could think of. Please don't judge a twelve-year-old, introverted boy's actions based on the same criteria you'd use with an adult that obviously knows better. It could also be his way of dealing with the pain. He was probably just as heartbroken (if not more so) than Samantha was. I think if he had been a little older and a little wiser, he WOULD have handled things differently, so I don't think the "asshat" label properly fits Dean -- yet.

*Kisses Always*
Haylee V

Hey AuP

Haylee V's picture

Are you SURE Grandma isn't one of the pedophiles Sam's always catching? I mean, she did ask the following:

"“Honey, can we go to the saloon together soon?”

Anyone her age that would suggest giving alcohol to a minor is, well... LOL... (Ha. Ha. Payback for the "stand up joke. You KNOW I love you, right?)

*Kisses Always*
Haylee V

Thud!

AuPreviner's picture

Voices overheard in the room where someone is on the floor:

Question:"Why is that poor man rolling on the floor laughing so hard?"
Answer: "Because the poor man was struck by the return of Haylee's comment.."

AuP (or should that be changed to Oops?)

P.S. Edit made. Love you too, ya goof!


"Love is like linens; after changed the sweeter." – John Fletcher (1579–1625)

All the characters

in this story read older than theyare. I remember my youth it wasn't me. That was about the time I realize i was different, and buried it deep, I envy kids whofigure it out young.