The Perfect Shave
Joey was a social writer for the Huffington Post and it was her job to comment on advertisements shown on television. She often dissected their deceptions, half-truths, racist, sexist, etc characteristics. Advertising was a symptom of the culture but it also guided the culture sometimes towards regressive ends. It was here that the communications major could get through the noise and determine the advertiser’s true purpose.
Joey did not live alone in her modest Los Angeles apartment. Her partner, Laura, was a software engineer. The two women found each other on social media and after a few dates became inseparable. They moved in together shortly thereafter. The two couldn’t be further apart when it came to the issue of advertisements. Laura was involved in the very video games and marketing schemes that Joey often thought of as sexist. However, Laura loved the drama of the male hero going after the damsel in distress.
One fateful day, Joey was staring at the television screen to find some inspiration for her next piece. None of the commercials so far were controversial enough to write about. It had to be truly offensive. Laura came into the room and gave Joey a peck on the cheek as she sat down.
“What are you watching?” she asked curiously.
“Just commercials,”Joey said as she flipped through the channels.
“That’s boring,” Laura scoffed.
“It’s for work,” Joey replied.
Finally, a commercial caught Joey’s eye. A man in a white collared shirt and blue tie stared at the screen as he pitched his product. His tie was loosened giving a relaxed image and his face was clean shaven. The commercial was the Dollar Shave Club, a play on words with the word “save.”
“For a dollar a month, you can have high quality blades delivered to your door,” he said.
Joey kept the TV on him wondering how this could be possible. The pitch-man went into detail about the metals used in the blades and how inexpensive it was compared to other alternatives. Finally, it came down to his last line of the ad: “Dollar Shave Club, only for real men.”
The next commercial followed but Joey was still thinking about the shaving commercial she had just seen. Could this be the ad she could focus on in her piece? “Did you see anything wrong about that last ad?” Joey asked Laura.
“No,” she said oblivious.
“It said, only for real men,” Joey repeated.
“So?” Laura asked unconcerned.
“That’s completely sexist,” Joey countered.
“How is that? There are male razors and female razors,” Laura pointed out.
“Right, but you can shave with both blades if you wanted to. He’s exclusively marketing just to men,” Joey said.
Laura shrugged dismissively. “I am going to sign up for it,” Joey said resolved and got on her laptop.
“You hoping to be denied, so you can destroy them in your piece?” Laura asked.
Joey gave Laura an annoyed look. It was a common accusation among more conservative circles that progressives merely looked for problem that didn’t exist. She signed up for the dollar shave club using the ambiguously gender name of Joey.
A few days later, the blade came in the mail. Joey immediately decided to try it out, so she could document that a woman could use it just as easily as a man. She placed shaving cream on her face and then carefully shaved the fine hairs away. Once she was done, she was surprised the blade hadn’t cut her skin. She then tried it on her pits and her legs and found it to be efficient at shaving the hairs away while causing zero discomfort. After she had done shaving herself, she became uncertain what to write about. There was no doubt in her mind that the magical razor was perfect.
She did a little research into the CEO founder and found nothing controversial about him. He hadn’t made any statements or actions that could be considered scandalous. The only thing that was a little odd is that the advertisement said the razor was only for “real men.”
With nothing to write about on this subject, Joey went to work on her other writings. The next day, she found a shock when she looked at herself in the mirror. A thin mustache had grown and there was hair on her chin. It looked as though she had the facial hair of a man who had just woken up in the morning. Taking the razor, Joey quickly shaved her face and examined the rest of her body. Seeing nothing else out of the ordinary, Joey put down the razor and thought nothing of it.
That night, Joey and Laura made dinner together. As they did, Joey felt something within her build up. She stared at Laura intently with desire while not consciously aware of it. She looked at Laura’s beautiful face, her long blond hair, those blue eyes, and hour-glass figure. The two had a healthy sex life but this night Joey felt she needed to get laid urgently.
After dinner, the two watched television. Joey saw the beautiful women in the advertisements but didn’t take any notes. She was too distracted by them. She took the remote and turned off the TV. “What gives?” Laura asked confused.
“Laura,” Joey said as she kissed her.
Laura kissed Joey back and then smiled amused. “You look like you want to fuck tonight.”
“Yeah,” Joey agreed.
“I thought we were going to keep to the schedule,” Laura teased. The two had scheduled out a calendar of when they would have sex in advance so as to not disrupt their professional and social obligations. It typically allowed for sex twice a week.
“I just have a sudden need for you now,” Joey admitted.
Laura bit her lip in anticipation for what they were about to do. “It’s spontaneous. I like it,” she agreed.
Laura got off the couch and went to the bedroom shedding her nightgown as she did. Joey followed hungrily. Laura got on the bed and waited for Joey disrobe; she was the more submissive of the two. Joey quickly got out of her clothes as she felt a painful ache inside her. She needed more than ever for a release. Perhaps, it was her work load or the fact the world was headed off a cliff that made her anxious. Joey got on top of Laura and kissed her furiously. She placed her hand on Laura’s clit and expertly rubbed her. Laura gasped enjoying the touch. Joey placed her thumb on Laura’s clit and then placed two fingers inside her. Laura held Joey tightly as she felt the fingers penetrate her deeply.
For a moment, Laura imagined she had a man’s penis inside her and then shook the image. Ever since her rotten ex-boyfriend, she had sworn off all men. Joey moved her fingers inside Laura stretching her out while all the while massaging Laura’s breasts with her left hand. Laura arched her back and bucked against Joey’s fingers and then seized up as she felt an orgasm go through her. Joey felt an almost masculine pride in seeing Laura’s vulnerability during her orgasm. She quickly shook off the notion. The two gave each other orgasms and sexual pleasure equally.
Joey then placed herself on Laura and rubbed their hips together. The two women moaned as they rubbed against one another. As they did, Joey imagined she had a penis thrusting deep inside Laura. Of course, this was impossible. Joey tried to block out the thought but it kept returning to her. Finally, she got off Laura and got off the bed.
“Something wrong?” Laura asked concerned.
“Just a thought entered my mind,” Joey said vaguely.
“What kind of thought?” Laura asked curiously.
“That…that I had a penis inside you,” Joey admitted.
Laura scoffed. “We have toys that look like dicks. What’s the big deal?” she asked.
For the first time, it hit Joey. She did have dildo toys that looked like dicks and never had a problem with them up until now. What made her different than a man? When she used the dildo, how was it any different than how a man dominated a woman with his penis. Had she not fought against the patriarchy and male dominance all her adult life?
“We need to get rid of them,” Joey said resolved.
“What the fuck for?” Laura asked thinking Joey was joking.
“We are women. What need do we have for a penis, even a fake one?” Joey asked.
“It’s not a big deal,” Laura replied.
“It is a big deal. Its the male sex organ that rapes women and impregnates them. Its sexual violence,” Joey said.
“Without sex between men and women, there would be no human race,” Laura said obviously.
“We don’t need men. We have sperm banks and artificial insemination,” Joey pointed out.
“Yeah, for those who can afford it. If men disappeared from the face of the Earth, ninety percent of the population would be gone in one hundred years,” Laura said.
Joey’s thoughts were muddled with contradiction and anxiety. “You don’t have to get rid of them, but I’ll never use one,” she said finally.
Joey and Laura slept separately after their little argument. Joey woke up and looked at herself in the mirror. The hair had grown even more than before becoming thicker. She then noticed body hair was growing from her arm pits and legs. She could see that her pubic hair was growing faster than usual. Joey stared at the mirror in wonder. It couldn’t be possible. She put the razor aside and used a different razor to shave herself back to normal. Using the different razor, she cut herself a few times making herself more irritable.
As she typed, she noticed she was having a little difficulty. She would skip a letter here and there. After examining her hands, she noticed they were a little swollen. More alarming was the fact that she saw some hairs on her knuckles. Annoyed and angry, she called up customer service for the Dollar Shave Club. After getting through their computer, she got to an actual agent.
“Hello, how can I help you, Sir?” the customer care agent asked.
Joey bristled. How dare he assume her gender. “Hello, I am calling about your razor,” she said.
“Is it not the most perfect shave you have ever had?” the agent interrupted.
“Well, yes, but…,” Joey said.
“We’re happy to hear that, Sir,” the agent said pleased.
“Don’t call me Sir. I’m a woman,” Joey said irritably.
“Apologies, ma’am. We must not have a very good connection,” the agent excused himself.
“Yes, well, your razor has caused me to grow hair at a faster rate and other symptoms. I want to talk to your founder,” Joey said boldly.
“Our razor is only for men, ma’am. It’s on the package,” the agent replied condescendingly.
“That’s sexist,” Joey accused. “How can a razor only be for men?” Joey asked.
“Our razor can only guarantee a perfect shave for men. We cannot guarantee the same results for women,” he said simply.
“That doesn’t make any sense. It shaved my face perfectly,” Joey said.
“We’re glad to hear it,” the agent interrupted again.
“But it has caused me to grow hair all over my body. There’s something very wrong with your razor,” Joey continued.
“We’re not liable for any side effects that are caused by the misappropriate use of our product,” he replied.
“This isn’t about liability. This is morality. You have a dangerous product on the market, and I want a solution or I’ll write about it and have it all over the Huffington Post tomorrow,” Joey threatened.
There was a long pause. “I’ll get the Founder for you.”
Joey waited as the Founder got on the line. “How can I help you?” he asked, the same voice from the ad.
“As I have explained, your razor has caused me to grow body hair at a rapid rate,” Joey said irritably.
“Well, the razor is only meant for men. It clearly states it on the package and in all of our ads. We apologize for your inconvenience but there’s nothing we can do to stop the changes,” the Founder replied.
“What changes do you mean?” Joey asked.
“Well, our razor has the added benefit of making real men. Many of our customers are not real men, so to speak. They have lost their will and desire in life. They get stuck in a cubicle, have zero sex life, and struggle under debt. They have lost confidence and motivation in their lives. Once they try our razor, our customers feel great again. They regain their spirit and become real men again,” the Founder said.
“Is that what you think real men are? That you can only be a real man if you drink beer, drive big trucks, have sex with strange women, and shoot guns?” Joey asked rhetorically.
There was a pause on the other end. “Yes.”
“That’s impossible even if that were true. A razor can’t make anyone a ‘real man’,” Joey doubted.
“Our razor does. We fucking guarantee it,” the Founder said confidently.
“I am going to write all about you in the Huffington Post, and then I am going to sue the pants off you,” Joey threatened.
“Alright, alright, I got a possible solution. It’s a shaving cream we here at the office call ‘Pussy Whip’. It should solve your problem,” the Founder said.
“It better,” Joey said appalled by the name of the product.
“We cool?” the Founder asked.
“Yeah,” Joey said and then hung up.
Joey reflected on what the Founder had said. The razor was somehow turning her into a man. That was why she felt so sexually aroused the night before. The very idea of it disgusted her. She hated men and never would want to be one of them. Joey then noticed Laura entering the bathroom. Curious, Joey went towards the bathroom and saw Laura with the razor.
“Stop!” Joey shouted at her.
“What’s the big deal?” Laura asked her.
“That razor will turn you into a man,” Joey said seriously.
Laura simply stared at her. “Really?” she asked doubtfully.
“I have been growing facial hair and my mood has changed. It’s because of this razor,” Joey revealed.
Laura put the razor down cautiously. “Why didn’t you say anything before?” she asked.
“I didn’t realize it was happening until now,” Joey replied.
Laura looked over the ordinary looking razor. “It doesn’t look any different than a normal razor,” she said.
“Believe me, you don’t want to mess with it,” Joey told her.
Laura shrugged and went to brush her teeth. “Why not throw it away?” Laura asked as she finished brushing.
“I need it in case I want to sue them,” Joey said simply.
Laura eyed Joey wondering if it could be true. What if the razor did turn Joey into a man? She quickly dismissed the idea. It was ludicrous.
The next day was even worse for Joey. She now had a full mustache and beard. Her armpits were hairy, she had hair on her chest, hair on her navel, and on her legs and arms. She was as hairy as a man but with a woman’s body. Upon seeing her face, Joey freaked. She looked like a drag queen performer. Taking a normal razor, she worked hard to shave all the hair off. Laura strolled into the bathroom as Joey worked on herself.
“Wow, you’re weren’t kidding,” Laura said amazed.
“I just have to deal with it for a few more days,” Joey said frustrated.
Laura couldn’t help but feel turned on by Joey’s appearance. She could still be a Lesbian and like hairy women, right? Even with the cream, Joey was having trouble with the thick hair. She then looked at the magical razor that had cursed her. She couldn’t be any more cursed than she already was. She impulsively used the razor to shave the rest of the hair off. As if by magic, the razor gave her a perfectly smooth shave without irritation or cuts.
“Looks good,” Laura complimented giving Joey a kiss.
Little did she realize it, but Laura was also caught up in the razor’s spell. Every so often, she had fantasies of a man’s touch. She was naturally bisexual but since meeting Joey had been exclusively Lesbian. She loved Joey as a woman and enjoyed coupling with her. However, in recent days fantasies of an unknown man crept into her mind. She went to her drawer where their toys had been kept. Laura touched the dildo curiously. It had been so long since Joey had used it on her. Now, Joey was completely against them. Frustrated, Laura decided to use it on herself then.
Going to her bed, she placed the dildo inside of her and let it vibrate. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation. As she meditated on her sexual pleasure, she dreamed of the unknown man being on top of her. Strange thoughts entered her mind as she pleasured herself. A man could take her and dominate her sexually. A man would want to have sex with her every night. A man would put a baby inside her. A man would always lust after her.
Laura then thought about her cheating ex-boyfriend and then snapped out of it. Withdrawing the dildo, she placed it under the bed and reflected on what she had just been thinking about. No, she didn’t want a man. She wanted Joey, her partner and lover. No man would separate them.
Realizing Joey’s sex drive was higher than usual, the two had sex more frequently. Laura made a good faith effort to always be available as Joey fought her new-found sexual urges. Still, it didn’t take long for Joey to find the dildo underneath the bed.
“Why the fuck is this under the bed?” Joey demanded.
“I might have used it once or twice,” Laura admitted.
“This…this is violence,” Joey said holding it like it was a weapon.
“No, its a tool of love. It’s no different than when we use our fingers on each other. Don’t you see, it’s giving pleasure to each other,” Laura said.
Joey shook her head. “I don’t want a penis, and I don’t want one inside me.” She opened the drawer and collected the toys. “I’m throwing them all out.”
“Stop it, Joey!” Laura said frustrated.
“It takes two to use them,” Joey pointed out.
“I know that,” Laura replied.
“You going to cheat on me?” Joey demanded angrily.
“No, of course not,” Laura replied.
“Then, they’re gone,” Joey said simply.
She took the toys and threw them in the trash. “You can’t just make decisions for the both of us,” Laura said angrily.
“I should never have let you buy them in the first place. Are you even gay?” Joey asked.
Laura was stung by the accusation. “How dare you question that,” she said insulted.
Joey took her laptop and went to her room closing the door on Laura.
The next day, there was a knock on the door. Laura opened the door and saw a UPS man. “I have a package for Joey ___,” the UPS man said.
Laura looked over the package. It was the shaving cream from the Dollar Shave Club that would supposedly fix her condition. It was a small box with Joey’s name and address on it. “Can you sign for it?” the UPS man asked her breaking her out of her trance.
The gears in Laura’s mind were turning. If she denied the package, Joey would slowly but surely become a man. If she accepted the package, Joey would get better. Joey’s fate was in Laura’s hands at this very moment. Laura eyed the UPS man realizing the full gravity of what she was about to do.
“No one…by that name lives here,” Laura said finally.
The UPS man shrugged. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am,” he said politely and left.
Laura closed the door wondering if she had made the right decision.
Joey became more-and-more irritable as the days went by. The package still hadn’t been delivered to her, and she was forced to use the magic razor or else cut herself all over her body. Her sex drive was also increasing, but she was still mad at Laura. With hair all over her body and her muscles increasing in size, she felt like she was becoming a beast.
Finally, she called up the Dollar Shave Club to tear the Founder a new one. “Don’t know what you’re taking about,ma’am. The package was delivered on a Monday but the person at the door wouldn’t sign for it, so it came back to us,” the Founder said nonchalant.
Joey then turned on Laura. “Did the package arrive?”
“Nope,” Laura lied shaking her head.
“I was just off the phone with them. They said someone at this address gave it back,” Joey said angrily.
“I don’t know anything about that. Probably, wrong address,” Laura said excusing herself.
“You did turn it away, didn’t you? Why the fuck would you do that?” Joey accused.
“Let’s not be hasty, alright. We don’t even know if it would work,” Laura said.
Joey shook her head. “You want me to be a man? You want a cock in you? I thought you were never going back to men,” she said hurt.
“It’s not like that. Man or woman, I will always love you. If you become a man, I would make love to whenever you wanted. I would have your kids,” Laura said pleadingly.
“I can’t believe you did this to me,” Joey said tearfully. “Get out!” she ordered angrily.
Laura looked down and then nodded. She took her purse and left the apartment leaving Joey alone with her misery.
Joey contemplated calling up the Dollar Shave Club to send a new package to fix her condition. With Laura gone, she was sure the package would be delivered this time. She looked at her collection of work; all the articles and essays she had written. She had written so many words on how she hated men, distrusted them, thought them useless. Her feminist readership ate them all up. Her fans agreed with every word she said while men wrote nasty comments. Could she really be one of them, be in the same league as murderers, rapists, and thieves?
She then saw a woman’s comment on one of her articles. “Men don’t need another scolding from a man-hating Lesbian. They need father figures to guide their way. Only with decent father figures will boys know how to treat women right,” the comment had said.
Joey turned away from the comment. No, men were only useful to provide sperm banks. Women could get along fine without them. Then a thought occurred to her. What if Laura and she had decided to get pregnant and what if the child was a boy? Would she insist Laura abort?
Joey felt her breasts as if it would be the last time she would feel them. All over a stupid razor? Was this really happening? Her whole world was starting to crumble. She needed some air. Putting on a thick jacket, pants, and tennis shoes, she went out for a walk to clear her head. As she did, a taxi driver came up to her.
“Want a ride?” he asked her.
Joey nodded and went inside the cab. “Where to, Sir?” the cab driver asked mistaking her gender.
“The beach,” she replied.
The taxi driver brought her to the busy street. After she gave him the money, the taxi driver smiled. “Thank you, Sir.”
Joey didn’t bother correcting him. She went down the street and saw straight couples walking together hand-in-hand. A sense of wonder filled her as she looked at the people with a more open mind. She went inside a jewelry store and saw a man pick out an engagement ring. “Can I help you find something, Sir?” the store clerk asked politely.
“Yeah, an engagement ring,” Joey said uncertain about what she was doing. Was this an experiment or real?
“Very good, Sir. We have a broad collection. May I interest you in…,” the store clerk trailed off.
Joey stared at the rings. They looked so beautiful but a part of her resisted the idea. Placing a ring on a woman’s finger was patriarchal ownership. It meant the woman was a man’s property and to keep other males away. Still, somehow despite this, Laura would love it. As if on auto-pilot, Joey picked one out.
“A good choice, Sir,” the clerk smiled. He then noticed Joey wasn’t wearing a watch. “Can I interest you in a watch?” he asked.
“Sure,” Joey replied.
Within a few short moments, Joey had a very masculine looking watch on her left hand and a ring in her jacket pocket. As she walked, confusion went through her mind. What was she doing? Why was she doing this? Her thoughts were interrupted by shouting. A woman struggled against a man who was robbing her of her purse. Joey gave the robber a look of disgust. Of course, it would be a man robbing a helpless woman. The man successfully took the purse away from the young woman and ran off. Joey suddenly grabbed the man and slammed him against wall with a strength she didn’t know she had. The man fell down in a heap.
Joey reached down and took the purse from the robber. “Oh, thank you so much!” the young woman gushed as Joey gave her the purse.
“Sure, no problem,” Joey replied. It was as if she had done it on instinct. She had always preached that violence was never the answer. Yet, she had grabbed the robber and slammed his face into the wall knocking him out.
“I am so thankful. You want to go out?” the young woman asked hopefully.
Joey stared at the woman seeing desire in her eyes. The young woman was attracted to her masculine appearance and looked upon her as a savior. Joey backed away with her thoughts muddled. “No, its okay. Just be careful,” Joey said to her and walked off.
As Joey walked away, she got occasional glances from women. She had never received such treatment when she was a woman, only the hungry eyes of men. What would it be like to always have women checking her out as a man?
Joey walked down the beach and saw shirtless men running and swimming in the water. She saw the women in the bikinis or one-piece suits. She had written how it was grossly unfair that women could not walk around topless whenever they wanted but men could. Two girls walked across the beach smiling and enjoying themselves. A group of boys came over and hooted at them.
“Let’s see those titties,” the boys jeered.
“Eww…gross,” one of them said and the two walked in the other direction.
The boys came closer still causing the girls some alarm. “Hey, back off,” Joey said to the boys. Upon seeing her, the boys turned away and walked off.
Joey turned to the girls who were walking off and then back at the boys. Was she becoming a monster or a protector from monsters? Could she do more as a man than she could as a woman? In the distance, she saw a male cop walking around. How many women’s lives had he protected? How many men had been punished at his hands? What was she doing with her life but dividing the sexes and creating animosity between people?
Joey took a cab and went back to her apartment. She dialed the Dollar Shave Club and got a customer care agent. “How can I help you, Sir,” the agent replied cheerfully.
“I need to speak to the Founder. I want to be a lifetime member,” Joey said quickly.
“Please hold,” he replied.
The Founder then came to the phone. “I understand you want to be a lifetime member. That’s great, Sir.”
“Tell me how to complete the transformation,” Joey said anxiously. Her skin was tingling with excitement and nervousness as to what she was about to do.
“Oh, you again,” the Founder sighed. “Your package should arrive in a few days,” he said bored.
“No, I want to be a man and be a lifetime member,” Joey corrected.
“That’s fucking great!” the Founder replied pleased.
“What do I need to do?” Joey asked.
“I imagine you want the full package deal, pun intended,” the Founder chuckled.
“Yes, everything,” Joey replied annoyed.
“Well, there’s no easy way to say this but you’re going to need to have sex with one of our customers,” the Founder said.
“What?” Joey asked stunned.
“Yep, the razor has no effect on a man but it does make him a carrier to a woman who is also exposed to the razor. We’ve never had a case like this before. So, all we need to do is have one of our customers have sex with you to seal the change,” the Founder said nonchalant.
“Are you mad? You want me to have sex with a stranger?” Joey objected.
“In Dollar Shave Club, we’re all family,” the Founder replied.
“You son-of-a-bitch, there must be another way,” Joey said angrily.
“Afraid not. If you want a cock, you have to embrace the cock. After this, you can have all the pussy you want,” the Founder assured her.
“So, I just need to suck him off, right?” Joey asked hopefully.
“Nope, that won’t do it,” the Founder said bored.
“You sick fuck. I am not going to have a man’s cock in me,” Joey shouted.
“Then wait until your pussy cream arrives or be a man without a cock. I don’t care what you do,” the Founder replied.
Joey closed her eyes in frustration not certain what she wanted to do. “If I do this, would I be fertile?” she asked.
“No customer of mine is going to be shooting blanks. After we get you squared away, you can knock up the next girl you see,” the Founder replied.
“Alright, I’ll do it,” Joey said finally.
“Excellent choice. My man should be there shortly. Don’t bitch out,” the Founder said.
“Fuck yourself,” Joey spat.
The Founder laughed and then hung up. For the next thirty minutes, Joey felt uncertain about her choice. If she had sex with this stranger, would it be cheating? Technically, they were separated. Laura could be having sex with guys or girls at this very moment. Joey felt like calling Laura but thought better of it. She didn’t want to have Laura see her have sex with a man.
Finally, there was a knock on the door. Joey cautiously opened the door revealing a normal-looking clean shaven guy. “Welcome to your initiation,” the man smiled. “The name’s Carl.”
Joey let the strange man in and felt thankful the man wasn’t a fat bearded biker dude. “So, how does this work, Carl?” Joey asked him.
“Well, do you want to skip the foreplay?” Carl asked.
“Alright, here goes, I have to put my cock in your butt. Now, I’ll use plenty of lube, and I’ll try to make this quick,” Carl said bluntly.
“You can’t just put it in…,” Joey asked.
“The pussy? No, it has to be the butt. If I accidentally got you pregnant, it would ruin the whole thing,” he said simply.
“You’re not going to use a condom,” Joey realized.
“Nope, I need to get my seed deep inside you,” Carl confirmed.
“Oh my God,” Joey closed her eyes wondering if she was doing the right thing.
“Don’t worry about a thing. You’ll like being a dude. After this, you can score as much pussy as you like,” Carl said.
“Okay, give me a sec,” Joey said nervously as she took off her clothes.
Carl casually took off his clothes and placed a generous amount of lube on his erect cock. Joey got completely naked on got on all fours on the bed. There was substantial body hair on her face, pits, arms and legs, chest, navel, and her crotch. Her breasts had shrunk down a little and her muscle mass had increased slightly. Her already short hair looked more masculine.
“Well, it looks like you’re already halfway there,” Carl noted.
“Try to make this quick,” Joey said.
“I’ll do my best,” Carl said and placed his cock at her entrance.
Joey tensed up as she felt him trying to enter her. “Just relax…relax,” Carl said soothingly.
Joey tried to do just that as Carl went a little further into her. With the lube, Carl was able to eventually slide right in. “Okay, all the way in. Not so bad,” Carl said to her.
“Sure,” Joey said still feeling a little pain.
Carl then placed his hands on her still feminine hips and began to thrust. Joey tensed up in pain but then felt a pleasurable sensation she had never felt before. It wasn’t the same as when she had been penetrated by a dildo. She felt something new forming inside her that was giving her pleasure. She couldn’t have known that deep inside a new organ was taking form.
Carl reached down to stroke Joey’s clit which was now swelling. Despite the pain and weirdness of it, Joey rocked her hips to encourage Carl. As she did, her female sex organs began to fade away into nothing. Balancing herself with her left hand, Joey felt her female breasts for the last time. Her nipples shrank in size and her breasts became flat. As they were gone, Joey felt grief that something that she had lived with for several years were now gone.
“Don’t worry about them. You’ll get a strong cock soon,” Carl reassured her.
Joey felt tingling in her crotch as if it were pulsing with pleasure. She gasped as she was feeling her last female orgasm. Her vaginal cavity became smaller and then closed up. Carl continued to rub her expanding clit which was now an inch long.
“That’s it. Let’s get it longer,” Carl said as he continued to stroke her.
Joey felt a pleasurable sensation from the tip of her new cock. She reached down with her hand and could feel two swollen masses where her labia had been. She would need them to be perfectly formed if she wanted any hope of having children. Her cock continued to extend and become thicker. Unlike Carl, hers would naturally be uncircumcised. It would be as if she had been born with one her whole life.
Carl then grunted as he shot his seed deep into her ass. Joey gasped as she felt the changes happening rapidly to her. Her cock continued to extend past six inches, and her new testicles were descending properly. She was no longer a woman, but she wasn’t ready to call herself a man just yet. Had she really done the right thing?
A surge of confidence and righteous zeal then filled her mind. She looked at her strong hands and chest. Gone was her small weak female frame. Gone were all her female inconveniences. She had betrayed everything she had stood for and yet felt good about herself.
Carl then withdrew from her and got off the bed. Joey likewise got off the bed and looked at himself in the mirror. He saw a masculine face looking back at him. He could see some reassemble to his father and to his former self. He then saw his masculine body and new male genitals. Carl, still nude, walked up behind him.
“Let’s see what you look like with a shave,” Carl smiled.
“Yeah, sure,” Joey said taking the magic razor. He put shaving cream on his face and then removed his facial hair. It was a perfect shave without irritation or cuts.
“Well, my work here is done. If you want to get a drink, here’s my card,” Carl said placing his card on her counter.
“Are you gay?” Joey asked confused.
“Fuck no. Nothing wrong with putting your dick in a girl’s ass. You should try it sometime,” Carl said as he put his clothes on.
“Right,” Joey muttered as Carl exited.
Joey looked at his closet sheepishly. None of his wardrobe would fit his larger frame. He would need help. Taking out his phone, he gave Laura a text. “Sorry, for everything. Can you come back, so we can talk,”he texted.
Within a few minutes, Laura texted back. “Sure, I’ll be over soon.”
An eternity followed where Joey waited for Laura to arrive. He decided to take a shower and wash his masculine hair for the first time. As he thought about Laura, his penis became erect. He cautiously stroked the tip and felt a delightful feeling. He felt an urge to stroke it until he got an orgasm but controlled himself. He knew that if he jacked off, it would take some time to recover. He had to save himself for Laura.
After his shower, Joey put a towel around his waist and waited for Laura to open the door. The door did open and Laura stepped in. She stared at the unfamiliar man standing in the living room. He was no doubt good looking but a stranger none-the-less. Who was this man and why was he in their apartment? Had Joey gotten herself a boyfriend? It didn’t seem like her.
Laura cautiously closed the door and stared at the strange man. “Who are you and where is Joey?” Laura asked.
“I’m Joey,” he replied.
Laura stared at the man and saw a resemblance to her lover. Joey was now taller than her by a few inches and a lot bigger. Laura felt herself become moist just staring at him. “Is it really you?” she asked touching his face.
“I’m so sorry, Laura. Please forgive me,” Joey said to her.
“No, I was the one that fucked up. Is this because of me?” she asked.
“No, I did this to myself. I chose this,” Joey replied.
“Are you…you know…complete down there?” Laura asked awkwardly.
Joey smiled amused and then lowered the towel around his waist. Laura eyed his cock and balls lustfully. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any clothes to wear,” Joey said picking the towel off the floor.
“No, let me get a good look at you,” Laura objected.
Joey let Laura feel his cock and cradle his balls. If was as if she was trying to make sure they were real. She then felt the muscles on his chest and arms. “You look perfect,” she said.
“You look great, too,” Joey said sincerely.
“You really mean that? You still like women?” Laura asked hopefully.
Joey bent down and kissed Laura to reassure her. Laura felt dazed as she was kissed by a man for the first time in years. “Does this make me straight or gay if I am attracted to you?” Laura asked.
“Don’t worry about it,” Joey replied.
Laura smiled nodding. “You know how to use that thing?” she asked referring to his cock.
“I can learn,” Joey replied.
Laura smiled happily. “Okay, strip me.”
Joey went to work taking off Laura’s top and then expertly unhooking her bra. Joey reached behind her and unbuttoned her jeans. Laura felt a thrill go through her as Joey took off her jeans. For Joey, the sight of Laura’s naked body was intoxicating. It was more than anything he had felt as a Lesbian. Laura then bent over and took off her panties. Joey placed his larger hands on her hips and then up to her breasts. Laura sighed as she felt the inexperienced man rub her breasts.
She turned around and looked down at his erect cock. Memories of being with a man came flooding back to her. She went to her knees and sucked on Joey’s cock. Joey felt a jolt go through him as she licked his tip. He had always thought the idea of women sucking a man’s cock was gross and misogynistic. Now, his own girlfriend was doing it to him. She seemed to be enjoying it as well. In fact, Laura was excited and overjoyed to see Joey react to her stimulation.
“Okay, I feel it about to happen,” Joey warned her.
Laura immediately came off him not wanting to end their fun so soon. “You okay with me being penetrated by you?” she asked.
“Sure,” Joey said uncertain.
“For our first time, I’ll be on top, alright,” Laura suggested.
Joey simply nodded and followed Laura to the bedroom. He got on the bed and waited for Laura to place herself over him. They had never had strap-on sex before in this position, so Laura was a little out of practice. She carefully placed her entrance to his cock and let it slide into her. She sighed content that Joey could reach all the way to her cervix.
She moved her hips a bit adjusting to a real cock inside her. After she had settled, she placed her hands on his chest to steady herself. “Don’t worry about cumming too soon. Just let it happen,” she told him.
“Okay,” Joey agreed.
Laura moved her hips slowly at first and then picked up speed. Having a man’s cock inside her was such an improvement over a dildo. It felt so natural and good to her. Joey felt a surge coming but didn’t know when it would happen. For the first time in while, they both felt pleasure at the same time. They didn’t need to take turns like before. Suddenly, he felt an inevitable rush he couldn’t hope to stop.
“It’s going to happen,” he said alarmed.
“It’s okay. Just let it happen,” Laura assured him.
Joey felt a powerful shock as he came inside her. Jolt after jolt hit him on that one spot. Joey grunted and squirmed as he felt his first male orgasm. After a few seconds of this, Joey still felt sensitive. Laura continued to roll her hips earning moans from Joey. Eventually, the pleasure went away as soon as it had come.
“Is that it?” Joey wondered.
“Yep, at least for a little while,” Laura told him.
“It’s so short but powerful,” Joey commented. He began to feel himself become flaccid inside her.
Laura felt a little regret that it was over so quickly. Joey hadn’t lasted more than a few minutes, but he would learn in time. She was just happy they were both back together. Joey sat up and realized something important.
“I need to get you off,” he said.
“That’s not necessary,” Laura said.
“I can still do it. Just let me,” Joey insisted.
“Okay,” Laura allowed and moved off his cock.
Joey stared down at the familiar sight of his lover’s pussy. He went down on her as he had before as a Lesbian. Laura clenched the sheets as Joey expertly licked her. Laura bucked up against his mouth and moaned as she was being sucked on. It was so familiar to before. Most guys wouldn’t want to go down on her but Joey was a former Lesbian. To him, it was no big deal. Laura squirmed and tensed up as she felt her orgasm about to happen. Finally, she cried out as it hit her.
“Oh my God, Joey!” she cried out as she clutched some of his hair.
Laura then relaxed feeling a tingling sensation in her breasts and vagina. This whole straight thing could work out after all. Joey came up to Laura and then two kissed lovingly. “When, I get hard again, do you want to try again?” Joey asked.
“Absolutely,” Laura said kissing him.
The following day, Laura went shopping alone and picked up some masculine clothing. Joey submitted his last article to his editor and then resigned. It was not as if he had repudiated all of his feminist views. They had just evolved a little. Laura came back to the apartment with a new suit that Joey tried on. Joey wasn’t the kind of Lesbian to wear a suit on a special occasion, so he needed a little help with his tie. Laura got dressed up and the two went to an expensive restaurant.
“To a new beginning,” Laura toasted Joey.
The two clinked glasses and then Joey took out a box. He slowly opened it revealing the engagement ring. “Laura, will you marry me?” he asked.
Laura stared at the ring knowing he must have bought it while he was still a woman. “Of course, I will,” she said.
The other patrons noticed what was happening and began to clap to the newly engaged couple. The new man and woman kissed and began a new chapter in their lives.
The Founder of the Dollar Shave Club was confronted by one of his board members over his product. “My wife tried your product and now she’s a man with a cock and balls. What am I supposed to do about this? I’m not homosexual,” the board member said visibly upset.
“I feel your pain but the package clearly states its only to be meant for men,” the Founder said dismissively.
“Yeah, well, who knew, but she wanted to be a man. You need to fix this for me,” the board member said displeased.
“Alright, alright. I’ll give you a new product we have been working on. It’s called pussy cream, a shaving cream meant for women when they wax themselves,” the Founder said.
“Alright, so, she puts this on her cock and she’ll become a woman again?” the board member asked.
“Absolutely, but here’s the part you’re not going to like. She has to fuck you in the ass. No getting around it,” the Founder told him.
The board member gave the Founder an unpleasant look. “It’s the only way,” the Founder insisted.
“Well, alright. If that is what it takes,” the board member said reluctantly.
As the board member departed, the Founder’s female secretary came forth. “Hire that man’s wife and fire him. Only men are allowed on my board,” the Founder instructed.
“As you say,” the secretary replied.
“Women really need to follow the label on the package. It clearly says that its only for real men,” the Founder sighed.
“Absolutely, Sir,” the secretary replied.
The Founder eyed his attractive secretary. “What do you think? You want a cock?” he asked waving the product in her face.
“I already have one, Sir,” she reminded him.
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” the Founder nodded. “That’s right.”
Author’s Notes: I decided to take another stab at the FTM genre again. I was inspired by an uncontroversial review by a woman who decided to join the Dollar Shave Club. First, I realize the man-hating Lesbian thing is a trope but so is the misogynist male counterpart. I just figured I would reverse the scenario that I often read. In many of my stories, I try to just write characters that have flaws and feelings. I rarely go for that perfect character that is always right in every opinion and act. I like to have the reader react whether positively or negatively to certain ideas being thrown out. I don’t have plans for a sequel for this story unless I get some ideas from feedback that I can work with.
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