Synopsis: Alex is a young boy who wants to be a girl, but has hidden this from everyone around him. That is, until he is saved from a bully by an older girl who makes him an offer he refuses to refuse: Work with her as a waitress at her sister’s themed café!

 

Author's note: I thought that I’d work on a more light-hearted story that actually has a confident trans character as the protagonist, one who’s actively taking control of their life instead of just being dragged along by other people.
Meow!
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I knelt on the edge of my messy bed tried my best to look as sick as possible, coughing painfully every now and then while rubbing my eyes to make them look red and sore. Most of the time it was pretty easy to convince people that I was sick as I had a pale complexion that was emphasized by my thick shoulder-length blonde hair, and my body was quite small and frail for a thirteen year old boy. All I had to do was cough painfully and look as sad and as miserable as possible, and people would immediately believe that I wasn’t feeling well.

Unfortunately, the person I was trying to trick today was mum, and she knew me far too well to be easily fooled. She was standing in front of the bed and inspecting me with her sharp brown eyes, her silver glasses pushed up to rest on top of her head. She was almost twice my height and very attractive, with long brown hair brushed to fall over the left side of her face and soft, petite facial features. We resembled each other in the face, both having plump lips, expressive eyes and small noses along with high cheekbones, but I had a small beauty spot under my right eye and she had an array of freckles going across her nose and cheeks.

‘Hmm. You don’t look sick, just tired.’ she said with a small frown and put a soft hand against my forehead. ‘And it doesn’t feel like you’ve got a temperature.’

‘I don’t feel good at all though!’ I said croakily and rubbed my throat, looking up at her through my sprawling bed-hair. ‘I think I’ve got the flu! Or tonsillitis!’

‘You look fine to me.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘And you don’t sound like your throat’s sore at all. You sound like you’re pretending to have a sore throat.’

‘I’m not pretending!’ I said and tried to make my throat sound as sore as possible by deepening it a bit. ‘See? It’s really sore! I’m in pain!’
‘Alex…’

‘I really am sick! Look! I’m pale!’ I pointed at my face hopefully.

‘You’re always pale!’ she said with a laugh.

‘Y-yeah, but this time I’m super pale! And my eyes are really red!’ I quickly rubbed them again. ‘See?’

Mum sighed and sat down on the bed next to me, a sad expression on her face. ‘Sweetheart…what’s going on?

‘Nothing! I really am sick!’ I said but she shook her head, her eyes thoughtful.

‘Let’s see…today’s Wednesday, and if I remember correctly you were trying to make me think you were sick this time last week too so…’ She blinked and then nodded to herself. ‘Sports. You’re trying to get out of sports class.’

Agh! She got me! And so fast too!

‘T-that’s just a coincidence!’ I said deeply and rubbed my throat. ‘And it’s even more reason for me to stay home! I can’t do sports if I’m sick!’

‘Alex. Please stop lying to me.’ she said and my stomach squirmed guiltily. She knew I was lying, and if I kept going I’d only end up insulting her. Crap…

‘Fine! I’m not sick!’ I cried, crossing my arms under my chest and looking up at her defiantly. ‘But I’m not going to school!’

‘Why not?’ she put her hand on my knee and looked down at me in concern, some of her hair falling loose and gently hitting me in the face. ‘Is someone bullying you?’

The image of Shannon’s handsome, laughing face popped into my head, and for a moment I felt the sensation of his fist hitting me in the stomach while his friend Brad held me from behind.

‘No.’ I said quickly, pushing the horrible image out of my head. ‘I just don’t like sports.’

‘I can’t let you stay home just because you don’t like sports.’ Mum said, her lips twitching into a smile.

‘But it’s so cold outside!’ I pointed to my closed window, which was covered by black blinds decorated with various cute bugs. ‘We’re going to be out on the oval for two hours and there’s no way I won’t get sick! I heard dad say that it’s even going to rain today! I’ll probably die!’

‘You won’t die! You’ll be fine munchkin. Come here!’ Mum smiled and wrapped me up in a warm hug, washing me in her soft, rose and peach-scented perfume. I immediately hugged her back and buried my face in her chest while she patted me on the head. She was wearing a tight black knee-length dress that was one of my favourites of hers, mainly because of the fabric. It was made out of some kind of silk that was soft but looked thicker than it actually was, and was very professionally made. Its neckline wasn’t too deep and its sleeves went down to the elbows, ending in a white silk cuff akin to a shirt. I loved it so much and had tried it on once, but it’d been far too big for me and I’d looked…stupid and…

A vast emptiness grew in my stomach and my eyes burned with tears. I would do anything to be able to look as beautiful as mum when I grew up, to be able to look as good as she did in dresses. She was so tall and elegant and pretty and…and everything I wanted to be but…

But I was a boy so…so…

My lips trembled and I hugged mum tighter, forcing myself to calm down. I needed to stop thinking about this! My body was fine at the moment! I’d been taking steps to make it as feminine as possible and…and even though I knew it wasn’t going to last forever it wa-

‘Alex?’ mum asked softly and I gasped, having gotten lost in my thoughts.

‘Hm!’

‘You’ll be fine if you dress warmly.’ She smiled, thankfully not noticing that I’d nearly started crying. I guess rubbing my eyes to make them look red and sore actually paid off. ‘And if it does rain then I’m sure your teacher will move you all into the gym.’

I nodded slightly and then snuffled against her, my eyes starting to droop. I hadn’t slept well last night and it’d only been five minutes since mum had woken me up so I was still very tired. The miserable feelings of wanting to be a girl didn’t help anything either. All I wanted to do right now was snuggle up next to mum and go back to sleep, forgetting that I’d even woken up today.

But, that wasn’t going to happen.

‘Sweetie…I need to leave in a few minutes.’ she said regretfully, putting her hands on my face and gently making me look up at her. ‘And you need to have a shower and get ready for school.’

‘Noo! Can’t you stay longer?’

‘You know I can’t. Until your father finally decides to start looking for work then I’m always going to be leaving this early.’ She said, her lips twisting in displeasure.

I shared her displeased look as a stab of frustration ran through me. Dad had been fired from his job as an accountant six months ago, and since then he’d been staying at home watching TV and feeling sorry for himself. Mum had been forced to take on more hours at her job as a hairdresser to compensate for him not working anymore, which meant that we didn’t spend nearly as much together as we used to. She was only around for about twenty minutes in the morning and came back late at night, usually so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep. It was horrible.

She sighed heavily and slowly got up, letting me fall down onto the spot where she’d been. ‘Come on little buddy. Time to start the day.’

‘I don’t want too.’ I squashed myself face-down down onto the warm bed and looked defiantly up at her through my hair.

‘Neither do I, but we’ve both got responsibilities.’ She said and put her hands on her hips. ‘Come on Alex.’

‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘I’m going to stay here for the rest of the day!’

‘Really.’ Mum said flatly.

‘Really!’

‘Fine!’ she said and I squealed in surprise as she reached over and slipped her arm under my stomach, then lifted me off the bed as if I were a particularly large cat. ‘I’ll just have to carry you to the bathroom then!’

‘Wha-mum!’ I cried and tried to squirm my way out of her grasp, but she held me tightly against her hip and I couldn’t figure out how to get free. ‘Let me go!’

‘No.’ she said, walking out into the hallway. ‘If you’re going to act like a stubborn little kitten then I’m going to treat you like one.’

I blinked and then my eyes widened in delight. I was a kitten! ‘Mew! Nyaa!’

‘Meow.’ Mum replied with a smile and set off down the white hallway while I pawed at the air in front of me.

My bedroom was at the very back of the house, just behind my brothers, and as we proceeded down it he appeared at the end, wrapped up in a black towel with his long hair dripping over his slight shoulders. When he saw us he stopped and pushed his hair out of his face to see us better through his glasses, looking confused. Jason was my twin brother and while we didn’t look exactly alike we shared a few features. He was small too, although a head taller than me, and had a very skinny body. His face was feminine like mine but leant more on the androgynous side of things, and he’d dyed his hair jet black and it was actually longer than mine, going just past his shoulders. He had the same beauty spot under his right eye too. He’d inherited mum’s short-sightedness though and wore a pair of glasses that were exact replicas of her, just smaller.

‘I’m a stubborn kitten!’ I explained to his confused expression and put my hands on either side of my head, then meowed happily.

‘I…see…’ he said and patted me on the head, making me meow gain. He blinked and then smiled slightly. ‘Good kitty.’

‘Are you going to be ready on time for school?’ mum asked and he nodded.

‘Yes.’

‘Can you make sure that your feline little brother is ready too? And walk with him to school so he doesn’t try and run off?’

‘Yes.’ he said with a smile and I glared at him. Traitor!

‘Thanks honey.’ Mum said and patted him on the head, making him beam happily. ‘Have a good day at school, okay? And let me know how your maths test goes!’

‘Sure.’ He nodded and then walked past us and into his room, where the sounds of a paused video game where emanating from.

Unlike me, Jason wasn’t much of a talker and preferred to spend most of his time alone in his room, but we got along really well. When mum wasn’t around I usually hung out in his room playing video games with him so I wouldn’t be alone when dad tried to find me.

Speaking of dad, as we exited the hallway and entered the living room he was sitting in front of our new TV and watching the news while sipping from a steaming cup of coffee. The living room was quite spacious but most of the walls were taken up by black leather couches and bookcases, with dad’s ugly blue armchair in the best spot to see the TV. The bookcases were mainly full of books mum liked reading, romance and mystery novels, but there were some old comic books spread throughout as well such as Asterix and TinTin.

When we entered the hallway dad looked away from the TV and smirked when he saw me. Jason and I didn’t much resemble him, as he had a sharp face with a weak chin and watery eyes above a handsome nose. He sported a thin brown moustache that covered his thin top lip and kept his brown hair cut close to his scalp.

‘What’s going on here?’ he asked and sat up straighter in the chair, wrapping his brown dressing gown tighter around his ever-thickening stomach. His eyes were red and I could tell that he’d been up for a while, probably having been unable to sleep properly.

‘Meow.’ I said hopefully but dad frowned at me. Crap. He was in a bad mood.

‘Alex refused to get out of bed so I’m carrying him to the shower.’ Mum explained and dad made a disgusted face.

‘Oh, put him down.’ he said and eyed me sharply. ‘What are you doing, making your mother carry you around like that? You’re not a baby for god’s sake.’

‘I know.’ I said, flushing red.

‘Then why are you letting her carry you around like you are?’

‘B-because I’m a kitten…’ I said weakly, avoiding his horribly judgemental eyes.

‘No, you’re a thirteen year old boy.’ Dad corrected me with a sneer. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

‘Stop it.’ Mum interrupted angrily and carefully put me down on the ground. ‘We were just playing.’

‘Just playing? That’s exactly the problem!’ Dad cried, his eyes widening angrily. ‘If you keep treating him like he’s a baby then he’s never going to grow up!’

‘I’m not treating him like he’s a baby!’ mum snapped.

‘Bullshit.’ Dad scoffed and pointed at me. ‘Look at him! He looks like a friggin’ ten year old girl! All because you let him skip meals and grow his hair long and pamper him like he’s your special little princess or something.’

I turned even redder at that and stepped behind mum as she clenched her fists. ‘There’s nothing wrong with how I treat Alex.’

‘Maybe if he was a girl, but he’s not.’ Dad took a gulp of his coffee and I could see that he was just warming up. Ever since he’d lost his job he’d become more and more focused on how mum treated Jason and I, probably because when he was working he was never around to see us. Now that he saw us all the time he’d seemed to have made it is job to “set us straight” on how boys should act, and he’d aimed a lot of his frustration at mum, who he saw as having failed to raise us properly.

I was sick of his constant arguments and wasn’t ready to deal with them this early in the morning, so I tugged on mums arm and made her look down at me.

‘I’m going to have a shower! A-and you have to go to work so…’

‘Yes! I do.’ Mum blinked and then smiled down at me. ‘I’ll see you tonight, okay? And don’t worry about sports, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll bring some chicken soup home for you though just in case!’

‘Ah! Okay!’ I beamed at her and she kissed me on the top of the head.

‘S-see!’ dad spluttered, making us both jump. ‘That’s exactly what I’m talking about!’

‘What? So I can’t kiss my son anymore?’ mum asked incredulously.

‘Not like that! Bloody hell! Can’t you…’

I padded out of the room and deliberately blocked out dads voice, feeling sick. He had to make everything miserable! Why couldn’t he just mind his own business? Or go away and find a job so he wouldn’t be home anymore!

The bathroom was behind the stairs leading up to the second floor where mum and dads separate rooms were, along with dad’s office. I was so lost in my anger at dad that I didn’t notice my sister leaving the bathroom, and if she hadn’t of put her hands on my shoulders I’d have ploughed right into her.

‘Ah!’ I cried and grabbed her hand in surprise, my heart skipping a beat. ‘Ashley!’

‘Watch where you’re going.’ she said and gently smacked me on the head. ‘You almost walked into me.’

‘Sorry.’ I muttered and looked up at her. She was head and shoulders taller than me and her body was thin and lean, with a surprising amount of strength in it. Basketball was her one love in life and she spent most of her time either training or playing in every match she could find. She was really good too, captaining our school’s senior girls team and having won quite a few medals and trophies. Dad loved her…

Her face was soft and petite like mums, and she had freckles on her cheeks and nose, but her hair was a dark brown like dads and cut into a short bob so it wouldn’t fall into her green eyes. She was almost seventeen and didn’t really get along too well with Jason and I. She was very competitive and loved being outside and active, whereas Jason and I were happier being inside doing things she considered ‘geeky and lame’, like reading and playing video games.

‘What are you looking so sad about?’ she asked and I shrugged, making her frown and look past me to the living room. Dad was still arguing with mum and his deep voice floated down the hallway, making her grimace. ‘Oh, for god’s sake! You pissed dad off again? Why?’

‘Wha-I didn’t do anything!’ I snapped but she smacked me on the head again, this time harder.

‘Why do you have to make him so mad all the time?’ She pulled on the cuff of her white school shirt and sniffed unhappily. ‘Having him home all the time was supposed to be great but you keep ruining it! Can you just…not? I want to enjoy his company and I can’t do that when he’s angry at you all the time!’

She waved her hands at me as if I were a large bug and stalked off down the hallway. I considered making a rude gesture but the last time I’d done that she’d seen it and sat on me for almost five minutes until mum had come to save me, and I really didn’t want a repeat of that. I settled with just glaring at her back until she was gone and then went into the bathroom, my hands shaking slightly with anger. Ashely and dad were just as bad as each other! Every morning was crap because of them…

I shut the bathroom door with more force than was necessary and then when over to the full-length mirror set into the grey marble wall, across from the granite sink. As soon as I saw my reflection I calmed down a bit, and when I threw off my black pyjama top I felt even better.

I’d read online that hormones were what transsexuals took to turn themselves into girls, and I was lucky enough to have access to some. Dad had forced Ashley to take birth control pills last year when she’d starting dating, but she’d refused to take them and always just threw them out. I’d been stealing them from her rubbish for the past ten months and…

The effects had been beautiful…

Even though I was still tiny, my body was now slim and feminine. My hips had widened, my skin had become smoother and everything in general had just become rounder and more girly. My body had an hourglass shape like mums, although obviously nowhere near as well-developed.

I beamed as I admired my reflection and then carefully pulled off the singlet I used to hide my small breasts. The singlet was an old one of mine that was two sizes too small and it effectively squashed my breasts into nothingness. I had no real idea how large they were but I think they were an A-cup from what I’d seen online. They were squishy but hard deeper in, and didn’t much like being touched. If I didn’t cover them with the singlet they would constantly get irritated by my other clothing’s fabric, and stung if I touched them too hard. I didn’t touch them much…

I looked exactly like a girl, just like I’d always wanted. I was pretty and cute and if things kept going the way there were then I’d be beautiful, just like mum. This was the happiest I’d been in years, but…

…but, this going to continue for long.

I’d been able to hide the changes so far but as I got older they’d become more obvious, especially my chest. Mum and dad would notice eventually, or Ashely would figure out I’d been taking her hormones and confront me about it. And when that happened they’d take my hormones away and I’d never be able to be a girl. Dad would never let me transition and while I think mum might be okay with it dad wouldn’t let her help me. My future would die and my life would be over.

Right now I was in a kind of mini-vacation from reality, a pit-stop before the inevitable wave of masculinity consumed me. And the longer I stayed like this the worse it got. I’d become used to looking like this and the thought of losing it made me want to scream wildly and kill things.

A painful chill ran down my spine and I hugged myself with a whimper, the emptiness from before returning. As each month went by the chances of being found out became higher and higher. No, not even each month! Ashley could figure out I’d been stealing her hormones tonight, or she herself could be found out for not taking them and dad would keep a closer eye on them, making it impossible for me to take them. At any moment this beautiful dream could be torn apart and I’d come crashing back to reality with no hope of returning to happiness.

And when that happened, I’d…probably die…

I shook my head and quickly turned on the shower as hot as it could go, wanting to submerge myself in at least a little happiness before the day started. School was going to be a nightmare, and with dad in an already bad mood I couldn’t imagine tonight was going to be any better…

End of Chapter One

Thankyou for reading!