First Dates are Kissing Dates 6
By Frances Penwiddy
Murmuring with Starlings
Copyright © Frances Penwiddy 2016
Murmuring with Starlings contains material of an adult nature and is not suitable as reading material for minors.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.
A trip on the river and a time for confessions.
“Did you have a nice evening?” asked Samantha.
“I don’t know, it’s still ongoing.”
“Yesterday evening is still happening, John stayed the night.”
“Wow! What’s happening now?”
“He’s in my office finishing off his work and then we’re going out to lunch and that’s as far as I’ve planned.”
“Going out where?”
“Where the wind and tide take us, I like surprises.”
“Stop talking riddles or I’ll come round and ruin your plans by insisting I stay for lunch.”
“I’m taking him on the river, I discovered he likes walking along the banks yesterday so I thought this would be a nice break for both of us, he works as hard as I do. I went out earlier and bought stuff for a picnic and a wide brimmed hat in pale yellow to match my shoulder bag and sandals.”
“Are you taking him on your boat, it sounds as if that’s what you’re planning?”
“Yes, I want to see how well he handles a punt before I go steady.”
I heard a long sigh, “It sounds like a romantic afternoon, can I come if I promise to sit quietly and just watch you two?”
“How did yesterday go?”
“It was lovely, we walked along the river to the Horse and Barge and then he took me to see ‘Love Story’ and even brought a spare hanky and then we walked home and it was terrific, I’ve never imagined making love could be so beautiful.”
“Out into space and danced with the stars. It hurt like hell at first but not for long and then it was incredible.”
There was another long sigh, “So you’re in love. Any problems?”
“No, well yes, this morning there was a sticky patch at the bottom of my abdomen, just above my pubes.”
“No just damp and sticky and as far as I could tell it was either clear of milky white.”
“It’s probably seminal fluid, did you feel any itching or pain there?”
“No, no sensation there whilst it was happening, Willy is dead now and I was surprised this morning when I discovered it. I checked carefully and there was no blood, no pain, no itching, just nothing.”
“And yet you flew?”
“Yes, really flew I think I had three orgasms right on top of each other.”
“I’ll speak to the hospital tomorrow and have a word with your doctor if you like, he’ll need to know before your operation.”
“Oh! Will it mean the operation will be postponed?”
“I doubt it, we already know your prostate is slightly forward of where they normally are and if it was stimulated last night that would cause it to produce a lubricant. They may even be able to rearrange it a little and use it to lubricate your vulva and vagina during your op and that could mean you won’t have to use a gel. We’ll have to see what the doctor has to say. Are you free on Wednesday, he may want to check you over and I can come with you if you wish.”
“Okay, I’m almost clear of work now until after my stay in the hospital and I would like you to be there, you can explain all the technical bits to me in English. What about tonight though?”
She laughed, “Going flying again?”
“I want to but if it’s likely to cause harm, I can take a cold shower instead.”
“Go easy and if you find the entry pain continues for longer than it did yesterday or you have any unpleasant sensations, then stop. If you explain it to John, he’ll understand and if you are both aware, it will be safer. He does sound like a nice bloke and will stop if he thinks it’s causing a problem.”
There was a pause and then she said, “There are other ways of flying, you can always try one of them if you’re worried.”
“Okay I’ll experiment. See you Wednesday.”
“Phone me tomorrow anyway and let me know how it goes, bye.”
We turned right into the boat yard and I stopped beside the first of the two boat sheds.
“We’re going to hire a boat?”
“No, I can’t afford it, not at twenty pounds plus a forty pound deposit,” I answered opening the door of my car and pressing the boot button in one fluid movement. I slid from my seat and went round to the back, “Fancy meeting you here,” I said as John came round from his side. “You bring the large carton, it’s a bit heavy and I’ll carry the picnic hamper,” I took the hamper and opened the boat shed door and walked in and put the hamper beside the punt and returned to the car for my bag and sun hat leaving Will staring at the cruiser moored alongside the punt.
“She’s a beauty,” he said as I re-joined him, “But then again, so are you and given the choice, I would rather spend the day in a punt with you than in a luxury river cruiser without you.”
I smiled as I stepped into the punt, put the hamper in the centre and held out my arms for the carton carrying the plates and primus stove and nodded at the water container, “There’s a drinking water tap just over there by the door, can you half fill it, we won’t need more and I’ll untie the punt.”
“I thought you said it was too expensive to hire a boat.”
“It is but this one belongs to me, so I’m letting myself hire it for free.”
He chuckled and went to get the water and when he returned I had the punt untied and was settling myself in the forward seat. “Have you handled a punt before, there’s a knack to it?”
He shook his head, “I’ll learn on the job.”
“Normally I’d let you do it but I don’t want you falling into the river because I’ll have to jump in and rescue you and spoil the dress and my new hat. Lift the flaps behind the stern seat, there’s a small outboard and if you lift the engine section it can be swung round and tilted into the water and the starter cord is next to the tiller handle.”
He managed that and once the engine was running he eased the punt out of the boat shed and then around the workshop and boat dock and into the river, “Turn upstream, that’s left, I know a lovely picnic spot about a half hour upstream. If you get fed up with driving, I’ll take over.”
“I won’t so settle down and relax, I have handled a dinghy with an outboard before and the view from this end is breath taking,” he said as a light gust of wind lifted my skirt and petticoat but died as my hand tamed the skirt and prevented it rising too far. “You shouldn’t be looking.”
“Why, I undressed you last night, you didn’t tell me to stop looking then. Anyway, I can’t stop myself.”
“Last night was different.”
He smiled, “It certainly was.” His eyes were on me now and his look became thoughtful, “I wish I was a painter, the way you’re dressed and with the hat casting shadows on your face, your smile, the look in your eyes, you are an Impressionist’s dream.”
I started to blush and looked down at the hand still pressing down on my skirt and quietly spoke, “John, will my having the operation make any difference to the way you feel about me. If it’s something that will, I’ll cancel it, I’d rather have you to share my life than complete the way I would like to look.”
He cut the engine of the punt and let it drift and walked down to the bow and sat beside me, taking my hand, “Emma, what’s brought this on?”
I shook my head, “I’m worried about it, worried that you may no longer want me if I become a complete woman…”
“Wonder if I only want a pre-op transsexual woman?”
“Yes, that’s a major part of it but there is something else. Last night we made love long before I would normally have done so after meeting a man. I made it fairly obvious that I wanted you, wanted you to take me to bed, acted in a promiscuous manner by most people’s standards. But after all the time we have spent chatting to each other through our computers and then having had two lovely evenings with you I… I think something inside me decided that you were right for me, you were a lovely person and I felt safe in your company and I had fallen in love. I know it’s love because I have never felt this way before, never wanted to be with somebody, yearned for their company so much and I became a bit determined and it was me that seduced you rather than the other way round. I acted in a manner that was hardly sweet and demure.
“You gave me two opportunities to say no, that’s as far as we go but I responded by taking your hand and putting it on my knee and when you stopped and gave me the second opportunity to say ‘That’s as far as I can go tonight,’ I took your hand off my leg and placed it on my breast, I was determined to make you lose your self-control and be intimate with me, have intercourse and now I wonder if I didn’t overdo it, make you think I’m what people would think of as an easy lay and would act in the same way with any man. That isn’t true, you aren’t any man, you’ve become my man and I don’t mean that in a possessive manner, I mean that you are the only man I have ever met that I want, want forever…”
He leaned across and very lightly kissed me, “When I met you in the chat room I wasn’t there deliberately. Two years ago I was in a relationship with a woman, we had been together for nearly nine months. At the beginning everything was good and then after about six months things started going wrong. She began asking the wrong questions, asking me if I had any ambitions about my job and then she was asking me didn’t I find it a nuisance having my own consultancy and wouldn’t I prefer working nine till five and having my weekends free. Why I didn’t accept one of the offers I have received from major companies rather than struggle to make it on my own. This went on for quite a while and eventually we had a stand up row, I told her my consultancy and my job were very important to me, they were my ambition and one day, when I really became successful I would be able to take as much time off as I wanted and employ other people to do the travelling, overtime and site work. She refused to understand. She wanted me to change immediately.
“I can understand her point of view, nobody wants a life partner that spends so much time working and being away from home but the problem was that she wanted me to stop now right at the point where I am on the verge of getting the recognition I have worked so hard for. Even when I offered to do as she asked if she gave me another year she refused and a few days later when I got home from a site visit, she had gone and left a note saying she wanted a partner that kept regular hours, was at home every evening and had weekends free.” He sighed, “I can understand her point of view to some extent but to not even want to give it a go for another year was unreasonable, well I thought so anyway so I didn’t chase after her, I knew then she wasn’t the right woman for me.
“I buried myself in work then and though I met one or two women, they were just occasional things so I was living a life on my own and had it not been for my work keeping me so busy, I would have been lonely so I tried a few dating agencies on-line but that didn’t work either and I was about to give that up when I stumbled into your chat room quite by mistake. When I realised that it was a transsexual chat room I was on the point of getting out but out of curiosity, I started following a few of the conversations and though I thought they sounded like interesting people it hadn’t occurred to me to join in and then you popped up. I can’t remember the details of what you were saying but you were chatting to a friend called Samantha and I suddenly became engrossed and apart from some of the technical stuff about gender reassignment and hormones and things like that, you mentioned a concert at the Royal Festival Hall and I realised that you were becoming an interesting person and had a broad range of interests. I left the room then and a few nights later I revisited it and checked your profile and even though it was a lousy picture I still thought you were attractive and you were chatting to a girl about Charles Dickens and I listened in again and the following week there were several of you talking about cooking and eventually about two weeks after that I realised that I wanted to meet you and that’s when I started speaking to you, well chatting you up really. You know the rest.
“But as far as last night is concerned, you weren’t the only one who wanted to have intercourse. When I paused and told you to say ‘No’ if you wanted me to stop, it wasn’t my being gentlemanly, it was fear. I was frightened that if I did go further and you weren’t ready, then you would refuse to meet me again because I had gone too far, made love to you when you weren’t yet ready, weren’t sure you wanted our relationship to go in that direction. This morning when I woke up and you weren’t beside me in the bed, I was really frightened, I thought I had done the one thing I was most scared off, driven you away, taken advantage of the fact you had had a few drinks and hurt you. I lay in bed for a few minutes cursing myself for a fool and rather than come looking for you I hid in the shower and sang because I was trying to convince myself that everything was okay and you would suddenly appear and everything would be okay, and then you did suddenly appear and even offered to come in to the shower and my heart nearly burst with happiness.”
“But you refused my offer?”
“I meant what I said, you looked so beautiful I couldn’t bear to spoil it and I was still a bit scared off pushing you too hard, it was a difficult decision,” he smiled, “You’ll never know just how close you came to destroying a lovely dress and a beautiful hair style or how relieved I was that you still wanted me and I hadn’t wrecked the opportunity to win the heart of an incredible woman.”
“So I was the first transgendered woman you have ever made love to?”
“He looked a bit sheepishly at me, “Yes, did it show?”
I smiled and shook my head, “You are an expert lover, it was terrific and you seemed to know exactly what to do, how to excite me.”
“I did a lot of reading and listened to what your friends in the room were saying so I knew some of the problems that you might have but I didn’t quite expect the way you responded, you went up and away so quickly and seemed to take me with you, no not seemed to take me, you did take me and it was an incredible experience. When you’ve had your operation, it frightens me to think of where we’ll go when we make love, I’ll be so nervous, I’ll be like a young teenage boy having his first experience with a woman because that is the way I see you, you’re a beautiful, unique and exceptional woman. You have the expected erogenous zones and a very responsive body and react to kisses and caresses very quickly which is exciting. When we’re together doing other things, going out for a meal or picnics on the river like we are now, there is still an aura of excitement about you. You have a hidden ability to draw people in, show them things and make the ordinary become extraordinary. Have your operation because I think you know who you are but will never feel complete unless you do. You will have an image of yourself of being somewhere in between; neither male nor female yet yearning deep inside to be a complete woman. I don’t think your personality will change, you will still be the Emma you are now but instead of being a precious gem concealed in a cardboard box, you will be the same precious gem but displayed on a velvet cushion.
“Don’t worry about how I’ll feel towards you, I will be just the same as I am now, excited when I’m with you, enthralled by your femininity, enchanted with your sense of humour but above all, by the way you are able to share it with me and make me glad to be alive and thankful that the gods saw fit to bring us together.” He stopped talking, watched my face for a second or two and then his hand went to a pocket and came out holding a handkerchief and I threw my arms around him, hugged him as tightly as I could and kissed him and would have stayed like that for an hour but the punt bumped into the river bank.
The feelings that ran through me as we laid out the picnic were so mixed, I was deliriously happy most of the time. I kept chatting away about all sorts of inconsequential things then had moments of doubt, wandering what could go wrong, what disaster was waiting around the corner to ruin everything and John seemed to sense it and would reach out and touch me, smile or just kiss me. Eventually I settled down begun to feel comfortable with myself, with my plans for a future with John, with just about everything and above all, confident of him and his feelings. He didn’t do anything special but I did notice he was spending a lot of the time just looking at me, not speaking and not staring, just looking and there was always a soft look in his eyes. After we had finished our food and drank a glass of wine we lay on the grass under the shade of an old beech tree watching the few clouds drift idly across the sky. After a while he said, “I’ve cleared my work and told everybody I’ll be unavailable for three weeks and I’m coming with you when you go into the hospital.”
“You’ll get bored, all that happens is I’ll be stuck in a bed, told I can’t eat anything and only drink water and I’ll have to keep that up until the next day when they’ll prep me and wheel me away for a few hours and when they bring me back I’ll be spark out and my important bits will be covered in miles of bandages and plaster. The most exciting thing to happen will be a nurse coming round to change the dressings and they’ll throw you out of my room when they do that.”
“I’m still coming and staying until the end of visiting hours and then I’ll be back the next morning until they wheel you away and then I’m going to sit outside the operating theatre until it’s all done.”
“When I come out of the anaesthetic, I’ll still be a bit woozy.”
“Make sure you tell me or I might mistake it for your normal self.”
“Would you like to stay this evening, all night I mean?”
“I’d love to but I will need to make an early start because I’ll have to go to my place and change into fresh clothes for a site meeting in the morning and then a conference in the afternoon.”
“Normally I’d say it’s better if you went home and had a good night’s sleep but after tonight I won’t be able to have sex because of the operation so I’m going to be selfish and ask you to stay and I’ll run you home as early as you like. There is one thing though, when we make love, if I seem to be uncomfortable we’ll have to stop. It hurts in the beginning but that stops quickly but if I seem to be in pain longer than last night or I try to stop you, we have to stop immediately.”
“We don’t have to have sex, we can just be together and cuddle each other.”
I sat up and looked down at him, “Are you kidding, I couldn’t have you lying beside me in bed and not do something!”
He smiled, “Okay, we’ll see, but whatever happens I will be careful and treat you as gently as I would a soap bubble.”
The sun was low in the west and it was getting a little chilly, “Come on, we’ll pack up and get back,” and as I spoke and started to get up a bitchy gust of wind blew my skirt and petticoat up to my waist and I looked down and then fell on my back and started laughing and kicking my feet in the air, “Even the bloody wind is out to get me.”
“I told it to,” he said as he pulled my skirt down, “It was very nice, you must do it more often.”
In Chapter 7 – An introduction to Tamesisadda and an evening is planned at the Cantina.
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