A world without me : Chapter 3 : Aunt Linda

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Caution: 

Audience Rating: 

Publication: 

Genre: 

Character Age: 

TG Themes: 

Permission: 

 

A world without me


 
Synopsis
Jake is a thirteen year old boy who looks like a girl, far more so than is normal. He isn't aware that his appearance is anything other than natural though, and has assumed it'll change when he goes through puberty.

He is wrong, and thanks to the help of a girl from his class he is forced explore a side of him he's always hated, and ends up facing some unpleasant truths. Family isn't always to be trusted.

 

Copyright© 2016-2017 Anna Hurley (BrokenFox)
All Rights Reserved.

 


Chapter 3: Aunt Linda

The day was just starting to darken by the time I reached the apartment complex that Aunt Linda lived in. It was a huge fifteen-storey tall black building with small veranda’s sticking out on all sides, and was nestled between another, smaller apartment complex and an office building. The whole area was blocked off from the public by a large metal fence that had hedges growing behind it, but the main gates were left open most of the time. There was a spacious garden at the front with a few benches lining the brick path leading to the door, and small trees were littered about in the springy grass. I never spent much time out here as there were always one or two other residents about, reading on one of the benches or smoking. Today there were three, a young couple sitting close to each other underneath one of the small trees and an elderly man watching them from next to the entrance door. He nodded at me as I passed and I nodded back but didn’t say anything. Everyone tended to keep to themselves around here, which is probably why Aunt Linda had chosen the area to live in.

I fished my keys out of my pants and brushed my card against the reader, which beeped happily and unlocked the glass door leading into the building. I pushed the door open, grunting with the effort it required, and then entered the huge black entrance hallway. Two elevators greeted me, with stairs winding around them on either side. I could smell the sharp scent of cleaning chemicals and sniffed unhappily, then hurried to the nearest elevator and pushed the sixth floor button. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long as it was already descending, and when it reached me its silver doors opened to reveal a harassed-looking Muslim woman. She smiled briefly at me as she passed and I got into the elevator, wondering why she looked so unhappy. I’d seen her a few times before and while she always had a smile for me she constantly seemed tired and frustrated. I wished I could have helped her somehow but…

‘It’s none of my business.’ I muttered to myself as I rubbed my chest, echoing what Aunt Linda had told me many times in the past.

I avoided looking at my reflection in the large mirror set into the back of the elevator and went up to the sixth floor, where I was greeted by the familiar brown hallway that always smelt of dried lavenders. The walls of the building were thick enough that the hallway was almost completely silent, although I did hear the soft thrum of music coming from a room across from the elevator. Aunt Linda’s apartment was at the very end of the hall and I pulled out my keys as I approached, hoping that she wasn’t home. I really needed some time to myself after everything that had just happened but sometimes she came home early on Fridays and if she had then she’d probably want help preparing dinner.

I took a deep breath, unlocked the door and walked into the apartment. It was decently sized, with a large living room at the back and a dining room and kitchen opposite each other in the front. Upstairs was the master bedroom where Aunt Linda slept, as well as the spacious bathroom and small office. And underneath that, through a door in the living room, was my pleasantly snug little room. The walls were cream-white and spotless, with only one painting hanging above the leather couch in the living room. It was of a mother platypus resting alongside a log next to a billabong, with three baby ones nestled against its stomach. I think I’d spent more time looking at that than I had at the large TV sitting across from it. Aunt Linda had randomly bought it for me a few years ago and it was one of the best presents I’d ever gotten.

I didn’t see any sign of Aunt Linda and let out a happy breath, closing the door behind me and heading straight for my room. I wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep but I seriously needed to lie down for a good hour or so and go over everything that Li-

‘Jake?’ Aunt Linda’s voice came from upstairs and I heard the floorboards creak as she began descending the stairs.

Well, crap.

I stopped in front of my bedroom and watched as Aunt Linda came down into the living room, dressed in black track-pants and a pink tank top. She was a tall woman with a lean, strong body and a very attractive face. Her hazel hair was usually tied back in a loose ponytail and a stylishly messy fringe ended just above her perfectly plucked eyebrows, while two long bangs fell down on either side of her face. She was in her early thirties but didn’t look it, probably owing to the fact that she ate healthily and saw a personal trainer three times a week.

‘You’re home late.’ she said quietly, stopping to look at me from the bottom of the stairs. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Mm!’ I gave her my best smile, hoping I looked relaxed and happy. ‘I just stayed late at school doing some homework.’

‘That’s good.’ She tapped her pink manicured nails on the wooden railing of the staircase. ‘Now, I want you to take a shower and clean yourself up, then come to my room. We need to have a little chat about some things.’

Oh god. ‘A chat? About what?’

‘You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.’ she said and held up the hand she’d tapped against the railing, frowning slightly at her nails. ‘Don’t take too long in the shower. I want us to start preparing dinner soon.’

‘Okay! I’ll be quick.’

She nodded and then disappeared back upstairs, her feet barely making a sound on the soft carpet. I let out heavy breath and ran my hands through my hair, once again feeling anxious and uncomfortable. So much for relaxing in bed and putting my thoughts together…

I had no idea what Aunt Linda wanted to talk about but I couldn’t imagine it’d be anything good, especially after I’d been punished so many times over the past few weeks. This week hadn’t been good but last week had been even worse, with me forgetting to take my medication three times in a row and Aunt Linda and I getting into a huge fight over my hair. If it was shorter then it’d be so much easier for people to identify me as a boy, and it’d been almost two years since she’d last let me get it cut. I’d politely asked her if I could go to a hairdresser and the conversation had plummeted downhill from there. Mainly because I’d lost my patience and tried to cut my hair myself with a pair of scissors, causing her to freak out and slap me in the face in order to make me stop. And then when I hadn’t stopped she’d…

She’d…

A chill went down my spine and I decided that it was probably for the best if I took a shower now instead of resting in my room for a bit. I didn’t want to make Aunt Linda mad.

I slipped off my shoes, put them underneath my chair at the dining table and then hurried up the staircase. Aunt Linda’s room was right across from the landing and she’d left her door open, and she was sitting on her bed with her laptop resting on her crossed legs. She looked up and smiled briefly at me as I passed and I nervously smiled back, and then went into the bathroom.

Besides my bedroom, this was my favourite place in the apartment. Its floor and walls were made out of a smooth black marble and one of the side walls was covered entirely in a mirror, with a grey bench running underneath it. There was a shower in the corner and a large grey bathtub along the wall next to it. It was…comforting somehow, like a little platypus burrow.

I slowly took off my clothes and looked longingly at the bathtub. I couldn’t imagine anything more relaxing than filling it up with almost-burning hot water and soaking in it for a while, maybe with some soft music playing as well. But there was definitely no time for that so I finished undressing and quickly got into the shower, turned the heat up as high as I could bare and began washing myself all over.

After a minute of quickly scrubbing myself down I did feel a little more relaxed than before, especially because my chest had finally stopped itching. I think that was more because I wasn’t wearing a shirt as opposed it having just been washed though, as the two lumps were horribly sensitive and every shirt I owned seemed to irritate them.

They kind of…looked like little breasts. And I think that they were bigger than they had been last week too, more rounded and firmer. Ugh…what kind of stupid chest infection was this anyway? Aunt Linda had said it’d go away eventually but it’d been six months now and the lumps hadn’t show any signs of shrinking. With how curved and feminine my body was the last thing I needed were lumps that looked like boobs. Why was my body so messed up?

A cold shiver of dread ran through me as I wondered that. It really did seem like I was turning into a girl, like I was going through female puberty. Aunt Linda constantly told me that it was nothing to worry about, that this happened sometimes to boys my age and so long as I took the medication she got from her doctor then my body would eventually sort itself out but…after almost two years things had just gotten worse. When I looked down I just saw a girl’s body. A small chest, small breasts, slim waist, wide hips and smooth thighs. Even my genitals were small and barely noticeable.

A part of me wished that I could see a doctor, but I was so ashamed of having to show my body to someone besides Aunt Linda that I was glad she never took me to see one. I just had to stay hopeful and positive! In a few months, or maybe even in a year or so, my body would fix itself with help of the medication. It’d remember that it was male and I’d finally start turning into a man. My chest would broaden, my waist would catch up to my hips and my shoulders would become wider than all of them. I’d be carrot-shaped instead of hour-glass shaped!

Which…kind of made me feel a bit sad, because it wasn’t like I hated how my body was now. If I was actually a girl then I’d probably be really happy, but I was a boy and this was just…wrong. I shouldn’t look like this!

If I looked like a normal boy instead of a girl then I wouldn’t be made fun of all the time at school. Instead of being called a tranny or a fag by the boys we’d probably be friends. I’d play football with them and talk about boy stuff like...like hot girls and sports games and cars and…stuff. I don’t know! And I didn’t care! I’d give anything to just sit in a group of boys who didn’t hate me and listen as they talked about stuff I didn’t understand, just so I could feel like I wasn’t alone anymore. I didn’t like football but if a group of boys from my class invited me to sit with them and talk about it then I’d join them in an instant! I was sick of sitting by myself at the back of the class with only my stupid imagination for company, and the only interactions with other students being when they decided it’d be fun to bully me for a while!

I was so….lonely. I hated admitting that because it was embarrassing, but it was true! I was alone all the time, even here. Aunt Linda had barely paid any attention to me until I turned ten and needed to take medication to help my body develop, and when I turned twelve we’d started fighting so much that I began to actively avoid her.

That was why it was so important to go through with the modelling competition! If I could get mum to come home then I wouldn’t be alone anymore! Even if nothing changed at school, every time I’d come home she’d be there with a loving smile and a warm hug, ready to make everything better.

If Aunt Linda wouldn’t let me go out tomorrow then I’d have to sneak out and deal with the consequences later. Screw it! Getting mum back into my life was worth suffering through a thousand punishments. When mum came back then I wouldn’t even have to live with Aunt Linda anymore so it wouldn’t matter! Mum would take me home and make everything better.

We’d finally be a family again.

I sighed tiredly began to turn the water off when I remembered Lilah telling me to wash my hair, so I looked up at the bench set into the shower wall. It was lined with Aunt Linda’s hair and body-care products, and after fighting with myself for a moment I grabbed the shampoo and ran it through my hair. It smelt pleasantly like peaches and cream, making me smile crookedly. My hair was going to smell exactly like Aunt Linda’s did. Weird.

I washed out the shampoo and followed it up with the same brand of conditioner, and when I washed that out I was amazed at the texture of my hair. I’d never bothered to wash it so thoroughly before now, most of the time not even using the honey-scented shampoo Aunt Linda bought me. So I’d never realised that hair could feel this…elegant. Even though it was wet I could already feel how soft and smooth it was compared to before, although there were a lot of knots. I needed to brush them out and the dry my hair. It was probably going to feel even more amazing once it was dry!

I got out of the shower and grabbed my towel off the rack, ignoring the fact that it was fluffy and pink. Aunt Linda refused to buy me a more masculine one and I’d given up complaining about it years ago. I quickly dried my body and then went over to the bench, grabbed a brush and looked at my reflection.

Which was a blurry, unfocused mess. Oops. I needed my glasses…or! I could get my contacts! They were in one of the drawers here under the bench, and I was really curious to see if I did look more like mum without my glasses. Plus, I really should get used to wearing them tonight if I was going to wear them tomorrow.

I searched through the numerous drawers lining the bench before I found my contacts, unsurprisingly in a drawer full of eye-care products. I took them out along with their cleaning fluid and carefully washed them, as even though they were a new set I was paranoid about getting some kind of eye infection. That was part of the reason why I rarely ever wore them, but the main one was because I just liked my glasses more. I felt safer with them on, like I had a little barrier between me and the outside world.

I sat down on the stool in front of the sink and carefully cleaned each of the small plastic discs, and then went through the old, familiar struggle of putting them in my eyes. After a couple minutes of pained grunts and frustrated growls I finally managed to put one in, and the second one followed soon after. I blinked a few times, rubbed my eyes, slicked my hair back behind my head and then focused on my reflection in the mirror, glad that I was so small that only my shoulders and head were visible while sitting on the stool.

It had been a long time since I’d last seen myself clearly without glasses, well over a year ago, and back then I’d looked much younger than I actually was. My face had still been in the process of growing out of my childhood chubbiness and my features had been feminine but undefined, making me look like I was around ten years old. But now…

I didn’t look like a little girl anymore, I looked like a teenage girl. There was no longer any puppy fat on my face and my features were far more defined, but still retained their softness. My eyes weren’t as large without my glasses but they were still quite big, and without the magnification from the lens they looked far more mature and…lush…

Look at her face here. You’ve both got really petite features and high cheekbones. And your eyes are just like hers! They’re lush and dark and big and doll-like! It’s so fucking hot!

I blushed uncomfortably as I remembered Lilah’s words and a weird tingling sensation sparked down my back. I was attractive! Not cute like a little kid anymore but pretty like a young woman. Like a young version of mum, just paler and with slightly smaller features. I…I…

I felt weird…and slightly nauseous…

‘Aha…’ I laughed weakly and reached out to touch my reflection in the mirror. ‘What the hell…’

How long had I looked like this!? I knew my glasses obscured most of my upper features, and I’d spent the last year or so actively avoiding how I looked but…this was insane! This wasn’t right! In my head I’d always seen myself as an odd-looking, shaggy-haired gothic bookworm with huge glasses, but that wasn’t real anymore.

I didn’t recognize myself at all. Who was this girl looking back at me? What the hell was going on!? The medication Aunt Linda gave me was supposed to stop me from becoming more feminine and make my body go through proper puberty! B-

‘You’re beautiful.’ Aunt Linda’s voice came from the doorway and I screamed in horror, then spun around and almost fell off the stool.

‘Aunt Linda! What the hell!’ I gasped and clapped my hands down on my lap, my heart hammering through my chest. How long had she been here? Surely only a couple of seconds or I’d have noticed her in the mirror. ‘Get out of here! I’m naked!’

‘Oh, calm down.’ she said with a smirk and closed the door behind her, her blue eyes shining behind their thick lashes. ‘I’ve seen you naked before.’

‘Please leave.’ I said shakily and began to stand up, but she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back down. She was so tall that I only came up to the bottom of her chest when standing, and was far stronger than I’d probably ever be. ‘Ah! What are you doing?’

‘Let me look at you for a moment.’ she said but I shook my head, shame at my body consuming me.

I slipped out of her grasp and ran to where my towel was on the ground, holding it up against my chest and genitals. Jesus!

‘Stop being so silly, honey.’ Aunt Linda said in a softer voice, her eyes running over my body. ‘I just wanted to see how your body’s been developing. You won’t let me see you naked anymore so I have no idea what’s going on.’

I glared up at her and took a step back, trying to calm down. When my body had first started changing I’d shown her because I was scared and confused, but once I learnt what was happening I never let her see me naked again. Why didn’t she understand how embarrassing this was?

Wait…had she told me to have a shower just so she could barge in and see me naked like this?

‘My body’s still messed up, and you should know it.’ I said as calmly as I could, although I couldn’t keep all of the anger out of my voice. ‘You’re the one who always freaks out when I kept forgetting to take my medication! You know what I look like! You don’t need to see me naked. Go away!’

‘Honey…just calm down.’ she said gently and pointed down at the stool. ‘I’m trying to help you, okay? This is what I wanted us to talk about. Just sit here and let me inspect your body for a moment.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I want to see how it’s doing before I give you your new medication.’ she said and my stomach jolted.

‘What?’

‘I can’t have you continuing to forget your medication all the time, so I’ve decided to change the method in which you take them.’ she said, her expression darkening. ‘I’ll be the one giving them to you this time so you won’t be able to forget anymore.’

I looked warily up at her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Injections.’ she said simply. ‘You can get hor-the medication in an injectable form, and you’ll only have to take it once every couple of months. It’s apparently far more effective than the tablets too, because it goes right into the bloodstream.’

I shivered. ‘Are you talking about n-needles?’ My stomach plummeted when she nodded. ‘What! I don’t want t-’

‘Well then you should have thought about that before forgetting to take your tablets so many times.’ she said matter-of-factly. ‘Now please, just take off that towel so we can get this over with.’

I stared up at her nervously, my mind racing. If getting injections would help make my body become like a normal boys then I had no problem with them, especially after I’d just realised how feminine my face had become, but…why did she need to see me naked? Wasn’t it obvious just from looking at my face that my body was wrong as well? I didn’t understand, but I was worried about pushing the issue and making her mad. And besides that, I was supposed to be trying to put her in a good mood! Continually resisting her was just going to have the opposite effect, but…

But…I couldn’t show her my naked body! It was too embarrassing. No!

‘Aunt Linda…please…’ I said and pulled the towel tighter to my chest. ‘This is really embarrassing.’

‘It shouldn’t be.’ she said in a gentler tone than I’d expected. A warm smile lit up her face and she pushed her bangs behind her ears. ‘Your body’s beautiful, honey. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Most girls your age and older would kill to have a body like that. You should be proud of how attractive you are!’

I bit back an angry retort and forced myself to speak evenly. ‘…I’m a boy, Aunt Linda. I don’t want to look like this.’

‘But you do. So why not…’ She shook her head and sighed heavily. ‘No. We can talk about that later, when I’ve seen how far your body’s progressed. This is the last time I’m going to ask you, Jake. Take off that towel or I’ll take it off you myself.’

I swallowed and backed up against the wall. ‘What do you mean prog-’

My words ended in a cry of pain as she shoved me up against the wall, so hard that my head bounced off it. She ripped the towel out of my hands as lights spun in front of me, and then she shoved me back again and held me there. I cried out in horror and stared up at her in a daze, terror running through me.

‘I warned you.’ she hissed and slammed me against the wall again, her hands wrapped firmly around my upper arms. The warm smile was gone and her eyes were dark and angry. ‘I tried to be nice but you just wouldn’t let me, would you? Now shut the fuck up and let me look you over. I’m so sick of your whining.’

I whimpered and tried to push her away but it was useless. I could feel her eyes on me as if they were hands rubbing themselves up against my body. She was seeing everything…my body’s feminine shape, my genitals, my chest lumps. Everything I’d been trying to hide. Tears burned my eyes and nausea rose up inside of me again.

‘Stop crying.’ She said harshly and knelt down to see my lower half better. I whimpered and tried to pull away but there was nowhere to go. ‘For fucks sake Jake, just stay still. I’ll be done soon. Be patient.’

Then she began to touch me, her fingers pushing down on the fat around my hips and butt, then running up my back and inspecting my chest.
‘D-don’t…’ I said weakly as she pushed against the lumps, making me whimper again. ‘Please stop.’

She didn’t, but after about a minute she looked at me with a softer expression, a small smile on her lips.

‘You really are just like a girl now, huh? You have no reason to be ashamed of this body! It’s stunning! Why would you hide this from me? I had no idea you’d become so feminine. I’d-’

I couldn’t control myself anymore and burst into tears, feeling more violated than I ever had before. Deep, painful sobs tore my chest and all the energy in my body disappeared. Aunt Linda let me collapse down onto the ground and pulled me into a tight hug, telling me how beautiful my body was. I didn’t have the energy to try and escape her grasp so just let her hold me while I sobbed uncontrollably, my mind a scared, confused mess.

up
201 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Kidnapped or Blackmailed?

I am wondering if Linda is actually holding Jake hostage to get his mother to do what she wants?

Gwen

I'm not sure if this will be

BrokenFox's picture

I'm not sure if this will be specifically stated in the story so I'll say it here just in case ^_^ . She's his Legal Guardian and his mum signed all of the papers to confirm this before she left to go to America of her own free will.

Not a fox

I seem two things here as

I seem two things here as what is going on with Jake. Aunt Linda is doing this on her own, or she is doing in concert with Jake's mother. The mother staying away until Jake is all girl. Either way, bad for Jake or possibly if s/he likes it in the end, then good for Jake.

One of those possibilities is

BrokenFox's picture

One of those possibilities is true :P
Thankyou for reading ^_^

Not a fox

That lady....

That lady, and I'm using that term very loosely... needs to get her ass arrested for performing forced feminization on her nephew, if he's even her nephew.. That just screams wrong on so many counts that it isn't funny...maybe the reverse should happen to her, someone force injects her with T shots to get rid of those curves and womanly shape she apparently loves. =p

And don't get me started on WHERE she's getting the meds.. last I checked they were pretty tightly controlled and whomever she's getting them from needs to be in a jail cell right next to Linda's....

I feel for the guy, he had no idea what was happening to him, but I'm sure he does now... I wonder how this is going to unfold...

Linda is just Jake's mum's

BrokenFox's picture

Linda is just Jake's mum's best friend, they're not related at all. He just calls her aunt now because that's how he was introduced to her. He'll start calling her just Linda soon (mainly because it feels weird typing Aunt Linda all the time when referring to her :P)

Not a fox

Not Sure How Many Platypus References...

...it was going to take before I figured out we were in Australia. (Actually, it was the reference to the billabong in this chapter that made the difference. I think that a lot of misfit kids in first-world countries might conceivably identify with a famously anomalous animal, but recognizing its surroundings as a billabong is something else again.)

Anyway, it certainly seems that Linda and Lilah, if not quite on the same page here, are clearly reading from the same book...

Eric

Hehe. I am a fan of

BrokenFox's picture

Hehe. I am a fan of platypuses and couldn't resist making Jake a fan of them as well. And I'm from Australia so everything is set there ^.^

Not a fox

Wrong term

Platypuses is not the plural Platipi is! ;3

I came out after 10 years of secrecy of me being Transgender. I hope you do too, Hugs and Kisses, Call me Caitlin, or Caitie <3/strong>

As we can see

Podracer's picture

BrokenFox's avatar picture is definitely not a fox.
So, Jake's life has taken a step up from grim to hopeful, then down into misery. I hope he gets something to lift him again soon.

"Reach for the sun."

What a bitch!!

Jamie Lee's picture

Just where is Linda getting these hormones? What doctor in their right mind would be giving a thirteen year old boy hormones without going through other medical professionals?

And who is getting her injectable hormones? Something which should only be given by a doctor.

That bitch is forcing a gender change on Jake, and he has no idea what she's doing. How soon will it be before someone in authority discovers what that bitch is doing?

By the time someone catches on to what she's doing Jake is going to be one messed up kid. If he lives that long once he figures out what's going on.

Others have feelings too.