A life spent searching for some thing

The young woman looks out the door of her home - it's the door of a small 2 man tent - just big enough for her and her gear - she has no house or a fixed home - all ways traveling - never spending long in one place - as she keeps looking for something - what is it she's looking for?   - only when /if see finds it will she know -  the road calls to her -  in a soft yet strong voice - calling like a mare to her foal

- looking out the door towards the other people who are staying at the place she is (a place where she has spent longer than most places - yet it's time to start moving again )  - a mix of children and adults at a horse camp this week - the adults siting around talking in the summer sun - the kids on ponys or having fun in other ways - some of kids say hi as they pass -

silent tears running down her face as she wishes she could be out there with them-on horse back with friends or even spending time with others - in many ways she is still a child at heart - being around others has always been hard  - she doesn't make friends easily - harder for her to keep them - she knows with the way her life is she has trust issues having been hurt so often by others -

never fiting in -  not being able read people or understand the unsaid rules of peoples lives she spends much of her time on her own - time has little meaning for her - many times forgetting to eat - minutes and hours pass like water flowing down a river - she has no fears - not even fearing death - at times she would of welcomed it - some days are better than others -

at times kids can be so cruel (even the times when they don't mean to be) - with they questions/how they ask then - the looks she gets - the comments/jokes when they think she can't her them - many adults aren't much better - as a young disabled transgender woman she lives in a world the few under stand - offen even well meaning friends just don't get it - they don't see/get how close she is to the edge - at times she runs from people in tears - she's having to cut people out of her life to protect her self as she desperately trys to find her way through her life - though the tears and the nightmares in the night  - some times even the nightmares in the daytime...

Still she keeps traveling - all ways traveling - though the joy and pain that her life is - all ways looking for the unknown thing that she is searching for...   Others can/will help but in the end only she will be the one to discover and find what she is looking/searching for...



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This story is 519 words long.