Tragedy of the Spirit part 6 A new life... Hope maybe?

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Caution, some rape and abuse scenes. Please feel free to post points to improve on or comments. This is true and this reflects what I had to start doing in order to survive. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it very much.

Let me first begin by saying that, although I had a troublesome upbringing for my first 15 years of my life. I began see some hope. a glimmer you might say in the struggle to find some freedom from the abuse and rape that occured nightly. I also found a glimmer of strength through this as I confronted my "mother" one day about 10 days before my 15th birthday. I told her in no uncertain terms that I was sick and tired of the crap that I was endurring and that she blatently gnored my pleas for help and assistance. Her classic response to me was " I was nt aware of what was going on".
I simply got really pissed off and told her" you certainly did know what was going on and you ignored it and protected your asshole husband and not me".
She replied " well I was not aware of what was going on and if it was you were and are lying".
I told her to Fuck off and upon that she splapped me harder than I think I have ever been slapped before. Of course there would be serious reprecussions for my outburst. I was beaten before bed that night.

I should maybe mention to you readers that at 15 I was tall and weighing at abot 120 pounds. I stood at five feet eleven inches. and very thin as I was very malnourished. I had esentially been starved and deprived food nutrients along with the minor estrogen intake I had developed a sizze breasts. I was humiliated and very scared as this torment continued at school and my style of dress was considerally female. I also knew that standing against my "father" was a suicide attempt in all purposes. As he stood six feet six and weighed about 260 and it was not by any stretch that there was no fat on his frame. My mother stood five foot eight and about 160 and not thin either. In the four remaining years I endured the abuse/rape and harrassment, I garnered some money by selling my tackle I had acculated over the years from my horse riding. As I have mentioned I did not have any freinds within my community. I developed a acquaintance with a fellow horsewoman by the name of Jennifer, she was a bit older than I was at the time I had met her at one Four H meeting in a small town not to far from where I lived. She eventually moved to the city and I remained in contact with her via letters. (no email then).

I endurred so much abuse that I had reached the boiling point i guess you could say. I was beaten down and badly bruised. I never thought I would get the oppertunity to escape and eventually start life anew.

This timely event occured on the tenth of may. I had made my plan and figured how I could escape. It was not going to be easy. I was sent to bed early after my beating from my father. I cried myself to sleep. I awoke at three AM and gathered my small amount of clothing. two skirts, one dress, two pairs of girls jeans, a pair of sandals, my runners and "my" estrogen meds I stole from my "mother" approximately 4 onths supply. I gathered my journal notebooks and a windbreaker jacket into my dufflebag. I opened my window and tossed my dufflebag onto the ground. I slowly squeezed out of that window and litterally fell to the ground. I screeched as I hit the ground. I was in total fear that I was heard and my heart was beating so fast that I was sure I was going to get caught. I paused and waited for ten minutes and then decided to get up and escape that hellhole I thought was my home and my sancuary.

I slowly made my way through the yard, ducking between fuel tanks and the grain bis and eventually into the trees that surrounded the backside of the farm. All the while I was looking back to see if anyone had noticed my escape. I made my way accross our wheat feilds and into the nighbors feilds. Eventually I came accross my first slough (water filled muck,low area of land). I walked arround this which was huge area and I eventually made it to the grid road where I followed it til I reached the highway that led into town. I did not have a watch on so i guessed it took me about 2 hours or so the get that far. The sun was sowly rising on the eastern horizon. I was walking west. Once I reached town I walk briskly through it and to the highway that led towards the city. I started walking along the highway til I hoped to have a ride.

I was wearing my faded jeans(girls) and light blue tank top. I had no bra on so my tiny breasts were bouncing as I walked. my hair was in a pony tail and it was just below shoulder length. Being natual red head proved a benefit for me. I suppose I walked about 2 miles along the highway when there was avery loud noise behind me and I turned and I saw a semi trailer truck approaching . I instinctively raised my hand with right thumb extended. I so hoped to get a ride if he stopped. I needed to escape this area and fast. He pulled up a fare distance up from me and stopped and I ran as fast I could muster to get to this vehicle.
I openned the passenger door and he asked me if I needed a ride, upon which I nodded my head. I climed in and off we went. My nightmare life in hell was going to be over. He introduced himself as Darren. I told him my name.

We began some small talk. He asked me " where I was headed"

I replied "the city"

he responded " ok"

I thanked him fro the ride.

He then asked me. " How old I was"
I replied. " fifteen"

I could see on his face a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

He asked me. " where I was comming from"

I lied to him and said I was on my way to the city and had missed the bus. no need to tell him the real reason. I was scared as it was. I think he noticed my skittishness.
I asked him. Where he was heading to?"
His reply. " going north to a base camp for miners."

All I did was nod my head. appraoximately three hours later he dropped me off in the city and I walked to a mall where I could call my freind Jennifer. I was releived to be away from hell and had a new challenge and journey about to begin. This journey would take me to all sorts of cities in Canada. This journey would test my endurance and strength to survive. A chance at life, hope, I was so uncertain.......

TO BE CONTINUED

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Comments

Prarie Girl 6

I am glad that you finally got away from your living hell. I hope that Jennifer was able to help you
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Hi and thanks

It does shine today thanks to her and yes I finally was able to break free, there was a long road for me and it was all not paved in gold as the story progresses . I am glad you like it Stan, thanks for your comments.

Mellissa

Letting It All Out

Praire Girl:

I've just caught up on your writings. I'm really glad you had the courage to put all of it down - and that you decided to keep living.

Please know that you're a remarkable human being for having survived that ordeal and are now working hard to give yourself the kind of life everyone should have.

You're very brave and your writing is perfectly fine. Your story comes through loud and clear.

marie c.

marie c.

Hi Marie

I very much appreciate your kind words. I have to say that a few years ago when I chose to look at my life and my journals, I never tought I would be able to turn them into a story,let alone a book.

Extraordinary circumstances gave me some kind of desire and strength to live through this as I know I had to have some purpose. It seems a lifetime ago tho, and I have gone through hell and back on many occassions and I survivor of abuse as horrible and nasty as this was, I am a survivor and I have meaning and purpose now like never before. I am hopeful that this story touches hearts and souls and that it's underlying meaning is never give up no matter what. What happened to me was truely a tragedy, however with my faith and desire to live after I left that aweful place, I began to see life and find my true path.

Thanks very much for your kindness.

Mellissa