The Crush - Melanie E challenge
by Julie D Cole

Forgive me. I wanted to help you develop your great start rather than to leave it. Despite all the interest you generated I think you have a talent that you should show more and hopefully you are not offended. I followed you once before that was fun. I always watch out for your stories. Well done for bringing so much enjoyment.

The Crush - Chapter 2 [perhaps]

It was an unexpected surprise. I felt a little embarrassed to find a Valentine card in my inbox knowing Ben was close by. It was pretty obvious what and it was tucked discreetly underneath some rubbish mail that was not high priority. Opening mail was one of the minute tasks I did in our small business. Normally these days it was mainly circulars and bills but this morning I knew there was a letter from our landlord that had the black spot. We were awaiting a letter confirming a substantial increase in rent that was sure to depress us both having had a call to prepare us for bad news.

This surely meant us closing our business and inevitably going our separate ways. We had managed to stay together through thick and thin all through college and in the post years when Ben found us temporary employment through his family connections but of course nothing connected to our qualifications. I scraped through thanks to Bens coaching and largely because of his patience. He sailed through as he did with most things and yet he took me under his wing. I had no idea why but without him goodness knows what would have happened. I owed him everything and I felt he would have been in a well paid job far away if I hadn’t been around. We had no family blood connection nor even 100% shared interests. I just was in awe of him and doted on him as much as I tried to hide my feelings. He was an all American boy built like giant truck. I was a geek. That about defines me in one word. 100% geek. Oh is that two words or more?

Anyway when I saw the formal letter I wanted to go hide or runaway. Then I saw the envelope invitingly sticking out beneath it that was clearly not a formal letter. It took me all of 2 seconds to push the rest of the mail aside. There was no name or address just the words ‘To You from Me.’ Printed in black ink. A slightly familiar style but I couldn’t be sure but I opened it anyway. It was hardly likely to be a card for me but at that moment I didn’t care because it was in my inbox.

As soon as I looked at it I regretted waiting so long to check the post. The girl inside me was excited. The exterior boy was saying not to be pathetic and stupid. Ben was obviously distracted by something important so I lingered a little to enjoy the sweet smell of perfume and considered if I should ask Ben if he’d seen it when he filled the Inbox. Surely he had. It wasn’t as if it was a standard business envelope and there was no postmark. It registered. This was for me and I had no idea what to do. It wasn’t as if it was likely to be a Valentine card and I had no relationships or even family other than my mother who had I admit teased me in my early years trying to suggest I had a few girls chasing me. Until she realised I was different.

As I opened the envelope and saw the card I assumed it was a mistake. Pink with flowers? Surely the wrong office in the building so I should close it and re-seal it. But I couldn’t just discard it. At least I might find a clue inside so I could take it upstairs to the general office reception. I removed the card and then I realised it might not be a mistake. But how to react. Should I say something to Ben. Should I place it in my out tray and take it upstairs or should I do what I did in the end. I just turned and placed it on the desk in front of me to enjoy the moment. If only it was for me. If so it was a clear message and maybe I had been fooling myself these past 3 years. Maybe I had not got away with my slips as I thought. It was difficult to hold Desiree back some days especially after she had been out and about over a long weekend and been flattered by admiring glances.

Ben lived on the floor below me in the same apartment building and we’d often talked about sharing to reduce our costs but I needed privacy or Desiree and would have had to give up Desirees room. It was bad enough keeping it secured when Ben came around if I cooked or if we watched a film on TV. He chose not to embarrass me so we never discussed it. Sometimes I did want to curl up on the sofa with him and once when he’d sunk a few beers he did get rather close. I was tempted many times to move across and lean on him especially for a scary movie but more than ever if it was a romantic comedy like our favourite ones with Hugh Grant. I so felt like Kristen Scott Thomas when we watched Four Weddings and a Funeral. I wished we owned the book store in Notting Hill in London and had the same wonderful surroundings. I had Knotting Hill on my bucket list but we were hardly like to ever achieve it. My bucket seems to have a hole in it.

At least this surprise distracted me from the horrible letter waiting to be opened. It made me reflect on some wonderful times I’d had with Ben since we first met and how much I cared for him. I’d seen girlfriends come and go, sometimes with a little help from me and Ben had tried his best to introduce me to several girls who were in his circle but it never worked out. I was meant to live outside the circle since Desiree could never be accepted and so it was both of us or none as far as I was concerned. Two of Bens friends did seem attracted but one had assumed I was a girl dressing like a boy and the other turned out to be a bully who wanted to prove she was more of a man than me.

Ben gave up trying to find partners for both of us and started to search for a future wife. I tried to keep out of it but he kept asking my opinion and I regret to say I was overly honest tending towards jealous so I was not popular. But some were wanting his body and others just wanted a husband. I didn’t think any one of them troubled themselves to get to know him or find out his likes and dislikes. I couldn’t see any of them as marriage material. I guess it was difficult to be impartial but maybe it was because I knew I would lose him.

We were together quite a lot and the bookstore and the opportunity to share our common interest in literature and it also gave Ben the opportunity to tease me about my feminine side that always made me blush. He knew I liked romantic fiction and had seen me burst into tears several times reading a book or watching a movie.

Neither of us could see how we could survive as business partners and it was difficult to increase our turnover and profit since the advent of Kindle and i-pads were everywhere. The good old hardback just collected dust on shelves these days and it was hard to project forward and produce any sort of forecast to our bank. We might have no choice but to share an apartment or to go our own ways for a while and try to keep in touch. I had been thinking of writing a few romantic novels and trying to find a backer but the ones I met told me it would be easier if I used a woman's name that was a bit of an offront. Ben seemed to think he should travel to a bigger city to find employment and then he’d call me when he was settled. I assumed this was just a kind way of saying bye bye. Until now that was. This was the first possible indication that he knew that there was another side of me. Could I be so lucky?

I looked across at him and finally our eyes met and he smiled. I knew that he knew. I knew that this was my last chance to find something more than a friendship. I looked down to my feet and then up to him and whispered thank you.

I decided I would like to use the gift before Valentines night and introduce Desiree who would invite him to dinner. Would he accept?