A Love So Bold
by Anon Allsop

The story continues - Hope you enjoy!

-Twenty One-

As the wagon train was beginning to come to life in the early morning hours, Hannah was cooking fish that Gideon and Cade caught while the sun was still below the horizon. As she was crouching over the skillet; she noticed that her dress was smoking at the bottom.

In frustration she smacked at the scorched hem, "If I don't set myself on fire wearing these dresses, I'm going to kill myself over sexual frustration." She groused under her breath. Hearing a noise back of her, she turned to see Arden standing slightly behind their wagon. She smiled sheepishly, "Sorry... just about set one of my best dresses on fire."

"Can I talk to you, Hannah?" Arden softly whispered as she approached.

Hannah pointed toward a nearby rock, "Sure, Arden, have a seat."

The woman sat down and picked at a ruffle in her skirt, "Do... do I look different to you?"

Hannah knew what was coming but played ignorant. "No - why do you ask?"

She looked slightly around, then leaned forward and whispered, "I'm smaller. Well, I feel smaller."

"You look like the same Arden to me." She replied as she turned one of the big fish that lay in the skillet. "These trails like we're on will sure change a person. Perhaps you just lost weight... it happens you know."

"Well perhaps, but how do I account for my breasts being slightly larger than only yesterday?" She shyly looked around as she whispered.

Hannah pursed her lips in deep thought, "I know that when I had my last cycle, my breasts seemed to feel a bit swollen, even bigger. Could that be what is happening to you?" It grated on Hannah to deceive the poor girl; she had yet to experience a monthly cycle since she was still nursing Em, and she knew just how real the changes were that Arden was experiencing.

Arden slouched at Hannah's observation, "You're probably right, and I think I'm due to start any day now." She smiled and hugged Hannah, "I'm sure that's it."

As Arden stood and brushed her slightly lighter hair back, Hannah noticed that her friend’s hands were more in line with the size of her own. Inwardly she prayed that the change also fixed her 'other' problem, but that wouldn't be revealed until much later.

"Would you like to stay for breakfast? I'm sure we have enough for one more." Hannah stood up and pulled her dress back to make sure it didn't lie near the glowing coals.

"Oh, no thank you. I had some biscuits and molasses just before I came here, but thank you anyway." She smiled; even her teeth were slightly straighter than they had been yesterday. After all, Arden was an exact duplicate of her younger mother.

While Arden and Hannah were talking, Cade and Gideon walked up to their camp. "Good morning, Arden." He smiled as he gave her a tip of his hat. Then to Hannah he spoke, "Got the mules and your daddy's horse watered and ready, once the wagon master gives the go ahead." He hovered over the fish, inhaling the aroma of them cooking.

"Well, this smells really good! Are those potatoes with them?" He smiled and Hannah could sense his excitement, as it was evident in his voice.

"You sound somewhat surprised by your wife's cooking," Arden said with a laugh.

"Oh I'm not surprised... now. Let's just say that when Hannah and I were first married, she couldn't cook a bit, she avoided it like she would a plague. In fact, only a few months ago we were pretty much fending for ourselves." He drew a line in the air, between Cade and him as he spoke.

Hannah didn't miss his comment; she knew he was talking of the original Hannah and not her. "I guess I just didn't find the experience as enjoyable as I do now, although I wish I could figure out a way to keep from scorching my dress hem." She purposefully looked down and moved aside her long skirt.

Arden laughed, "I always thought of Hanna as a lovely cook, I ate here yesterday and our meal was wonderful!"

"Thank you, Arden," Hannah replied as she dished some of the fish and potatoes into a tin for Cade, and then another for Gideon. "First my boys - and then me."

At that moment Em began to stir, little whimpering sounds could be heard coming from within the wagon. "You've got to be kidding..." Hannah sighed as she began to set her plate full of food on a rock.

"You go ahead and eat, Hannah. I'll see to Emma." Arden offered, and then climbed into the wagon before Hannah could answer.

Hanna was hesitant upon picking up her tin, so she looked at Gideon questionably. He only pointed toward the tin plate in her hand. Hannah slowly sat down and began eating, feeling slightly strange for letting another take care of her child.

Arden finally returned, climbed out of the wagon and stood swaying with Em in her arms, "She was wet, and I fixed her up real good." She giggled as she rubbed her nose on Emma’s; it was evident to all who were watching that Arden desperately wanted children of her own.

"Well, would you look there, Hannah, the woman is a natural," Gideon said as he looked up from his coffee. "She has ‘future mother’ written all over her."

Arden blushed and looked down at Em, "I wouldn't mind being one..." she whispered to Em but Hannah overheard.

"Did you have a chance to speak with Charles?" Hannah quizzed, then as Arden looked up, she smiled, "Mr. Bloom."

Arden gave a nod, finally understanding that they were indicating the young widower that Hannah and Gideon had been trying to match with her.

"I spoke to him." He said as he was finishing a bite of his fish, "Said he is mightily interested."

Hannah smiled and looked toward Arden who was also beaming, "And?" Hannah wanted more than just his initial comment.

"He thinks our Arden here is a mighty handsome woman." He chewed some more and then added, "He'd be a fool if he lets this pretty woman pass through his fingers."

Hanna grinned broadly; she drummed her hand against her slender lap in her excitement. Arden smiled shyly and giggled at Hannah's enthusiasm.

Gideon stood up and placed his empty plate on the ground by the fire, "He wanted me to ask if you thought it would be okay for him to call on you, during the remainder of the time on the trail?"

"Oh yes, of course it would!" Arden was bubbled with excitement.

"You don't want to seem too eager..." Hannah cautioned.

Gideon suppressed a laugh, "Eager?" He took Cade's empty plate and placed it on top of his own. "We'll have to talk some about... eager."

Hannah's face grew red and she looked away quickly, Gideon ignored her embarrassment and continued, "Out here, I wouldn't be surprised if they were married before the wagons begin to peel away once we get into the Willamette Valley.”

"Oh my!” gasped Arden. “I never thought it could happen so suddenly."

"Out here, everything seems to happen suddenly." Once again he looked directly at Hannah who again flushed red and looked away.

As she finished she gathered the plates and washed them in her wooden bucket, tossing the water away from their wagon. Gideon took Emma from Arden and helped her exit from their wagon. The three stood watching Cade fight sleep, tottering upon his seat as the sun was only now rising above the horizon.

"Arden, I hate to rush you, but you're going to have to head off to your wagon. I have a feeling that the wagons will be lining up soon." He then turned and walked toward their mules and in pairs, began to lead them toward the front of his wagon.

Arden had a panicked look that crossed her face, "Oh good heavens, I still have to hitch up the oxen to the wagons... I'll talk to you later on, Hannah."

She hurried off and Hannah shouted after her, "I'll send Gideon to help once he has our mules hitched!" She never responded but when Hannah turned back around, Gideon had a smirk on his face. "What do you find so funny?"

"I showed Charles where Arden's oxen were, and pointed out her wagon. He wanted to impress her by having it done before she got back." He continued to position the team in their places.

"How did you know she would be here?" Hannah asked as she stood nearby holding Emma.

"It was a hunch. I'm figuring her attention is going to be occupied for the next few nights." He buckled one strap around his lead team and drew the reins up to the wagon seat.

As he finished adjusting the harnesses, he walked over to Cade and lifted him into the back of the wagon. "Make you a comfortable spot to lay down in there, son."

Hannah gathered up what little belongings they had out for breakfast and placed them into the wagon; Gideon assisted her with the heavier items. As she approached the wagon, Gideon took her by the hand and gently guided her toward the back so she could place Emma down for a short nap.

She climbed in and quickly made up the little box for Em to sleep in, then worked her way toward the front. Gideon was just settling into the wagon while she was fighting her skirt over the back of the seat. He reached past her and unhooked it from where it had been caught.

"Thank you. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to wearing one of these," she sighed as she stood and untwisted it from under her.

"I like seeing you in them... though you're pretty to look at either way. He smiled and slowly directed their wagon into the line with the others waiting for the official start of their day.

They waited there in the wagon at the ready; slowly everyone was in one long line. The wagon master slowly trotted past asking drivers if they were ready to go. As he passed he tipped his hat to Hannah, "Looks to be a fine morning, ma'am."

"Indeed it does!" she replied as he rode on.

Gideon adjusted the reins in his hands, and then turned to glance at Hannah. He sighed deeply and slowly moved his head from side to side. "What?" Hannah asked.

He smiled and again looked down at his hands, "I had a dream about you."

"Me, or the other Hannah?" she questioned softly.

"It was of you." He pushed his hat back slightly so he could see her better, "We were making love."

"Sounds interesting," she grinned.

"Oh indeed it was." He used the back of his wrist to rub an itch on his nose. "I guess it was a continuation of last night."

"I think I'd like that," she whispered back, and then leaned her shoulder into him quickly.

He smiled, leaned over and kissed her. "You sure did in my dream."

She giggled like a young girl, "Was that all of your dream?"

"No, there was more." His face reddened, "You ah..."

"What? What did I do?" She giggled at his discomfort.

He looked over his shoulder and back behind them, making sure no prying ears could hear them talking. "You took me... into your mouth," he whispered.

She laughed aloud, then quick looked into the back of the wagon; this was something that she didn't want Cade to hear. Thankfully, he was sleeping. "So that was all?"

"No." He glanced ahead and tried to change the subject, "The lead wagons are moving."

"Oh no you don't! I want to know the entire dream, so stop trying to distract me." She giggled and circled her own arm to his, and leaned against him. "Out with it. You can't leave me hanging."

He smiled as he glanced toward the ground, snapped the reins and started his mules after the wagon ahead. "Gideon Shepherd, it isn't fair that you leave all the good parts out of the conversation."

"Good parts?" He laughed, "I think I was the one getting the better end of the deal."

"You know what I mean." She poked her slender finger into his rib; he jumped and laughed out loud.

"Well... I uh," he laughed with embarrassment. "You sure you have to know the entire dream?"

"If I can't live through Ezrah, I sure want to know what it's like for you!" She took her slender fingers and grasped his thigh hard.

"I shot my... uh... into your mouth." He spoke very low, almost so she had trouble hearing him.

"Couldn't handle it, huh?" she teased.

"I WASN'T handling it, you were... and doing quite well." He laughed, "Using only your mouth and tongue."

"Ew!" She made a wry face.

"You asked," he laughed.

"So, did you enjoy it?" She looked at him incredulously.

He laughed out loud, "Well, Hannah, what do you think?"

She turned her face forward and thought for a few moments, "I guess I probably would have enjoyed it if I were a man."

"There's your answer," he replied as they turned parallel with the Platte River.

"So then your dream ended there?"

"No there was a bit more. You were pregnant at the very end."

"I'm not totally sure of the workings of a woman, but I'm confident enough to know that I can't become pregnant that way!" she laughed.

He looked down, embarrassment colored his face. "True. But..."

"Oh, there's more?" She leaned into him, her green eyes sparkling with laughter.

"I... well... I woke up with a wet spot..."

She began laughing, "And that is what embarrassed you? I was the one who had your... your... ew... in my mouth… and that is what embarrassed you?" The more she pondered over what he was telling her, it caused Hannah to grimace at the thought, "I probably vomited it out, didn't I?"

"No, you swallowed it, I think." He laughed as Hannah began to dry gag and her eyes were watering. "I promise, the next time I have a dream, you'll get the better end of the stick," he added.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," she replied, wiping the 'gag' tears from her eyes.

The wagon rolled along in relative silence, as only the constant squeaking of a rear wheel serenaded them. After several minutes of quiet contemplation by both of them, he cleared his throat.

“So, about last night…” He began, “How far would you have gone with me?”

She hugged his arm tighter, “I guess I would have gone as far as you wanted me to go.”

He looked toward her, his expression softened. “I loved Hannah more than anything. She was everything to me… until.” He frowned as he continued to look forward. “Something changed in her after Emma was born, she stopped kissing me… holding me.” He turned toward her once again, “She stopped making love with me.”

“I’m not her,” the new Hannah reminded him.

“I know you’re not, but the similarities are so uncanny.” He looked down to her slender arms circling his bicep, “She was a beautiful woman…” His gaze returned to stare into her emerald eyes, “But you are a beautiful person on the inside where it counts.”

Tears welled in her eyes as he continued, “I know it is unfair of me to ask…”

“Ask anyway,” she whispered.

“I want you to stay,” he replied with seriousness.

“You mean for Cade and Emma, right?” she answered.

“And me.” He sighed with emotion, “I want you to share my bed with me in every way.”

She fought through her tears and laughed nervously, “You just want me to reenact your dream.”

“I will never ask you to do that unless you want to,” he replied.

“I…I’m not sure what to say, Gideon.” She looked at her hands where they were holding onto his arm, “Do you realize what you’re asking of me?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve frightened you.” He shook his head slowly, in anger of himself. “I should have kept it to myself for awhile longer.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Her reply caused him to look at her suddenly, “I’ve…actually been wondering what living as Hannah forever, would be like.”

He turned his head toward her, his mind racing from her reply. “I would make sure you never regret your decision. I would give you everything you could ever desire! I would…”

She placed her slender finger upon his lips, silencing him. “I already have that with Cade, Emma…and you,” she softly replied. “I’ve only ever wanted to feel needed.”

“And you are…by us all.” He glanced down, navigating over a particularly rough spot on the trail, “So last night?”

It was her turn to look away from embarrassment, “I would have done anything you asked.”

Gideon smiled, “Good to know.” He again was forced to straddle a rather large rock with the wagon wheels. “I like what you were trying to do before Emma…” He quickly glanced toward her, trying to gauge her reaction, Hannah was smiling playfully.

He cleared his throat and spoke softly, “I know that women aren’t much different than their men-folk. I know they have certain desires that they want tended to as well.” He could feel her watching him closely, “I’d be willing to do them to you if you’d a mind to?”

“I wouldn’t chase you away if that’s what you’re asking” she giggled softly.

“Hannah would have.” He frowned, “If I wanted love in that way, she would…” As he spoke, Hannah pulled his face toward his and kissed his lips deeply, her tongue slipping within as the kiss continued.

“I’m not ‘that’ Hannah,” she reminded him once again. “My mother taught me long ago that there is a constant give and take with husbands and wives; if he wants, she gives.” She again kissed him deeply, drawing his lip slightly into her mouth as they separated, “But then, it goes the same the other way, when I want…you give.”

“Gladly,” he replied flatly. “And if you keep kissing me like you are, I’ll give it to you real good!” Her response was to close lips with him again, her hands gently holding him for an incredibly erotic kiss.

“Jesus, woman, all I can think about right now is what your kissing is doing to me! You have to save that all for later when I can react properly.” He shook his head and smiled, “You sure that you were a normal boy before you tangled up with that necklace?”

“I’m sure as I’m sitting here, Gideon.” She laughed, “Apparently you have your doubts?” Hannah looked at him for several seconds, “I just want to experience everything I can while I’m living, love, raising family…everything.”

“Children? Would you become pregnant again…for me?”

She thought about his question for several seconds then replied, “If you want them, then I will do my best to provide one.”

“Only one?”

“As many as you can handle, honey,” As she spoke, he laughed very loudly.

-Twenty Two-

Their ride grew silent for nearly an hour, the quiet only to be broken by the Wagon Master as he rode alongside their wagon. Hannah had been quietly reading from a book in the shadow of her bonnet, Gideon slowed to a stop when he appeared.

"Gideon, we're going to be crossing the Platte a couple of times today, you may need to take it easy going across, I'd hate for you to bust a wheel or axle on a hidden rock."

Gideon nodded then glanced back up, "How deep are you expecting it to be?"

"When I scouted it last night, it looked to be somewhere between eight to ten inches deep, of course that's only the first crossing, the second one could be closer to a foot." His horse danced a quick circle as they talked.

Hannah placed her mark in the book and took a quick glance in behind the wagon to see if the children were still asleep as Gideon continued to discuss the river with the wagon master.

"May want to say something to Hanus up in front of us, he's got his grease bucket hanging underneath his wagon, if we get into deeper water he'll be losing it." He pointed to the gently swinging bucket just ahead of them.

"Will do, Gideon." The Master turned to Hannah, "Ma’am, you keep yourself and the boy inside the wagon when we're crossing; I don't want to have either of you falling in."

"Thank you sir, I'll do that," Hannah replied as he tipped his hat and rode up toward the Hanus' wagon.

They slowed momentarily for Hanus to get off and set his grease bucket inside of his wagon, as he walked back toward his seat, he waved to Gideon. Once again they were slowly rolling, the squeaking wheel calling out to them. “Guess I better find my grease bucket tonight and get some into that squeaking wheel.”

Again they rode for almost a half mile in silence before crossing the first stream, Hannah stayed in the wagon seat, feeling that it wasn’t as dangerous as the Wagon Master led her to believe. “That was easy enough,” she spoke as she was looking back into the wagon at the children sleeping. “The water there looked murky.”

“They’ve been having a bad cholera outbreak on several of the trains that were ahead of us. I’m suspecting it has something to do with the water.” He glanced behind him to watch other wagons crossing the river. “I don’t want for you or Cade to go anywhere in that water, hear me?”

She nodded, “We have enough for a few days, and hopefully there will be better water up ahead.”

“I’m sorry about the way I spoke back there; I just don’t want anything to happen to any of you.” He apologized.

“I understand, Gideon, you worry for your family and I love that about you.”

Again they rode along in silence, long enough for her to return to her book. Finally Gideon tapped her leg with his hand, “I’ve been wondering something.”

“I’ve nothing to hide. Ask away.”

“When we were talking to Arden this morning, I was noticing…” He began.

“Perhaps I spoke too soon,” she laughed sheepishly.

“So you did use that amulet on her, didn’t you?” he smiled knowingly.

“I did, but I was just trying to help her out.” Hannah looked up at him; he was already staring at her with a concerned look on his face.

“You have got to be careful with that damn thing; it’s too dangerous to be handling it!” He then looked at the reins in his hands, “I’d die if anything were to happen to you!”

“I’ll be careful,” she replied guiltily.

“No. I don’t want you touching it at all…promise me, Hannah.” There was a look of fear in his eyes.

“I promise…we will discuss with each other prior to it being used ever again.” She gave his muscular arm a loving squeeze.

“Agreed.” Again they rode for several minutes, Hannah was beginning to locate where she left off on her book when Gideon commented again.

“I do have to admit, Arden did look lovely…how did you do it?”

Hannah smiled, returning her finger to hold her spot again. “She was folding her mother’s wedding dress after showing it to me, and I was able to touch it to her without her noticing.”

“I’m sure Charles won’t mind in the least!” he laughed.

“I did it because Arden told me she wanted children but couldn’t have them, although her mother had several. Hopefully the necklace with correct whatever was wrong with her and she will be able to bear many more.” She grinned broadly.

“You sure it can do what you’re hoping?” He spoke softly, “That’s quite a lot to ask.”

“If it can do this to me…” She gently cupped the underside of her breasts, “Surely it can fix her issue.”

He chuckled, “I guess you have a point, my love. Do you think she’ll notice?”

Hannah smiled, “She did, but I told her it was probably caused by her feminine cycle.”

“And that is?” As soon as it left his mouth, Hannah gave him the look and he responded, “Oh…never mind.”

Hannah pulled at her high collar, “I so need a bath.”

“I think you still smell quite lovely,” he responded truthfully.

“Ever since I’ve become Hannah, I can only think of being clean.” She sighed, “It’s been far too long since my last bath back at the little water hole where you found us.”

She looked over at him; there was a distant gaze in his eyes and a playful smile on his lips. “Are you okay?”

He laughed, “I was just thinking about seeing you beside that little pond…reborn. God, I wanted to ravish you right there, only thing that kept me from doing it was Cade.”

She patted his leg, “Find me clean water, away from everyone and I’ll give you everything you ever wanted, or could handle.”

“Is that a promise?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“I promise.