A painful morning..

It was 3 AM in the morning where she lived and she couldn't fall asleep. So she put on one of her sister's bra and panties, followed by black tights, then a pink shirt with white shorts. She checked her handbag and put her diary, a pen,and set of keys. After checking that her parents were still sleeping, she quietly opened the door after wearing a pair of flats and left the flat.

It was raining,she realised when she reached the lift corridor on the floor she lived at. She was also afraid of someone seeing her other than her parents. She felt nervous,even though she had borrowed her sister's clothing many times and went out. She had shorter hair that made her look like a boy,and she felt uncomfortable even with her slight femininity within her self. She shook her head and took the lift to the ground floor.

When the lift door opened,she quickly looked to the left and right of the open corridor. No one was visible. She slowly walked out and went to the place that she often visited when she couldn't sleep. The heavy rain drenched her as she walked into the open area of the public carpark,making her wet. She ignored the feeling and continued walking for 5 minutes,her heart full of sadness and pain.

At last,she reached her usual place that she visited. It was just a table with 4 benches around it. She sat down slowly,feeling the water flow down from her head. After waiting for a while,she opened her handbag and took out the diary and pen. The diary was slightly wet on the hardcover,but the pages were still dry. She flipped open to an empty page and started writing.
"my name..i wish to be called eileen. It's better than my current name. My parents think that i am a boy in the physical sense,so i must be one in the emotional sense as well. To their unknowing minds,i am a girl on the inside..i have felt it since i was younger..and have chosen to hide my true self. So far,this has resulted in incomplete friendships with the friends that i have, sadness and pain. Why,you ask,that i must hide myself from all? It is due to the fact that my father thinks guys who crossdress are a joke. I also felt that i could trust no one about myself. Why should i open up,and get teased,or even raped to teach me a lesson that boys shouldn't wear girl's clothing? I feel tired,and even for this short time that i can be myself, i feel happy. I think i should get going. I am not sure if my parents noticed that i am gone,and has stayed awake to see what am i up to." She quickly kept both the diary and pen, and walked back to the lift lobby. The rain had stopped,and she was able to dry off a bit from being wet. She quickly took the lift to the 9th floor,and walked to her flat.

when she was at the door, she felt nervous again. What if her parents noticed that she had gone? What if they were awake? She shook those thoughts away and slowly opened the door. She found that her parents were still asleep,and she was safe for now. She quietly closed and locked the door behind her,before closing and locking her room door,turning on the room's light. After she had set her handbag down on the table,there was a hard knocking on her room door."Open this door now!" Her father demanded. She looked at the door,and started panicking. "Open the door now!" Her father demanded. She started looking for things to block the door so that it woun't open. But she found nothing."Open the door or i will force it open!" Her father shouted. Seeing that she had no choice,she opened the room door. Her father stared at her for a moment, before asking her," do you want to be a woman?" She shook her head. Her father continued staring at her for a while before saying," Go and change out of those clothes." She saw her room door close, and then locked it behind. After changing into the usual sleeping clothes, he cried about her lack of space and time to be herself.

Somewhere within a inner world

She cried,her tears falling onto the dry ground. The trees around her were all dry and dead. She took out a dagger and cut her wrist,drawing her blood. "I am sorry for doing this, ee chin. Thank you for protecting me in the mean time.." She said. When the blood had flowed enough liquid to be filled in a jar of water,she placed her dagger into the paddle of blood. The dagger slowly grew in size and shape to form a long sabre,with the words 'Destiny's End' in the middle of the blade. When she saw that, she said,"it is done." She slowly picked up Destiny's End from the blood. When she stood up holding Destiny's End,a shealth for the sabre appeared at her hips. Holding Destiny's End, she walked off into the barren landscape..



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