“Why can’t they just love me!?”
It took all of like two seconds for Dad to be there and to sweep her up into this great big Dad hug and she’s sobbing really hard, hard enough to get all of us started too and he walks just as far as his big easy chair and he plops into it with her and she’s crying so hard all over again.
And Dad’s just so being Dad as he squeezes her really tight.
“I don’t know Brooklyn but the whole lot of them are missing out, they’re damned fools if they don’t have the brains to see what an amazing person you are and I am So Happy that you came into my life.”
(Sniffle-sob.) “You are?”
He hooks her little finger with his again. “Yeah, like forever and Always kiddo you’re family, all you girls are family you always will be.”
Brooklyn looks at him and she just cries, it’s that crying where all that can get out of you is that painful wet whine because you’re heart and inside are crushing you and hurting so much from all of that pain that’s bottled up.
And I lose it myself because all Dad does is when she looks at him like that is kiss her on the forehead and says right to her face. “I Love You Brooklyn, I Love You.”
I’m absolutely no good and I’m crying because well because it’s MY Dad and yeah he’s done stuff like this before but he’s still doing stuff like this and he’s not slacking off and he’s not leaving them in the lurch or leaving them alone or hurting and behind and he’s being this really, really awesome guy.
I knew that my Dad was a good guy; I was raised by a good guy. He’s that guy that would help you out in a jam, fix something and offer you credit for a while or take things in trade and all of that stuff.
But seeing my Dad as his daughter is really totally different.
I mean if there’s a time my heart is looking at him and it’s saying Daddy instead of Dad it’s this…it’s stuff like this it’s that Dad above and beyond on an utterly different level.
And I’m so friggin lucky that I have him and that I actually am still his kid and that I’m still his daughter and he’d so made sure that I know that a whole heck of a lot.
There’s a whole lot of others that are nowhere so lucky.
I’m crying and Kimmie’s crying and Rayne’s crying but she reaches over to me and she pulls me into a hug and she’s sort of using me as her girl-bear and I’m actually really okay with that and I look over and Molly’s being held by Carmen and yet she’s right there in that same emotional shithole as Brooklyn’s in because her family were really effing horrible to her.
And she’s on her knees and she’s crying because of the same things.
And Carmen’s holding her, no she’s almost like folded her arms around Molly and she’s crying too and has her forehead pressed to Molly’s temple and she’s saying things to her and she’s taking spaces in between whatever she’s saying by kissing her cheek.
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this why are the people that I love so much so horribly hurt? Why can’t they see the amazing people that they are? And like what Brooklyn asked….Why can’t they just have loved their kids?
I take a big swallow and I head in holding onto Rayne.
It’s so one of those I need her and she needs me moments.
And I really need her now too.
It’s not an Adam thing but this is pretty close to it and it’s Brook’s life and it’s people she knew and grew up with that are being just effing hateful that she got out.
Well just judging from the way that they were acting and stuff I’m glad that she’s out because I can’t picture what she’d be like with all of the anger she has turned inwards because she’d have no other outlet.
There might not be a Brooklyn, she literally saved her own life.
We pull out the kitchen chairs and we sit around as Dad’s holding her and she’s crying it all out over again and Molly’s definitely triggered by her stuff and Mike’s sitting close to Brook and Uncle Mitch is getting the tea pot on and he’s taking out some of the stuff I sent over before and what looks like things they bought and a few other things and he goes over to where Brooklyn is still sort of crying and holding onto Dad.
“Hey, c’mon go and take a shower. You’ll feel better getting all of this off of you.” He looks at the rest of us. “That goes for all of you, Remy’s got lots of hot water to spare.”
Actually even though I’m not one of the Starlight Ninja Turtles a shower actually sounds amazing. And we do have a huge water heater too. Mom wanted it because of the garage and doing laundry.
We even have two showers, three if you count the one in the garage. We used that one for emergencies and sometime just in the summer when it was just way too hot to keep going on with fusing with mechanical stuff.
Dad nods. “We can even lend you all clothes.”
Carmen says. “We have back ups, I packed a whole bunch of stuff that’s easy wearing too for like after shows and stuff so the band could be more comfortable.”
Goddess love her for that, that completely slipped my mind to have extras to bring with us. I look at her. “That’s a great idea, thanks.”
“It’s what you pay me for.” she smiles and then she looks at Molly and holds her by her face and she kisses her. “You going to be okay?” I hear her whisper to Molly who nods and she kisses her back and it’s that not passionate kissing but it’s that big deep emotional kissing and it just sort of get’s me in the heart with how soft and powerful it is.
Rayne and Carmen and I go out to get the stuff and Rayne’s staring at the van and she look frustrated all over again.
I slip an arm around her. “Dad and the guys can fix it up just like new.”
She sighs. “You sure?”
“I’m sure, Dad’s done thins before more than a few times and it’s usually stuff that folks can’t afford right away.”
Carmen get’s the bags we need and we actually make sure everything is out of the van before we head inside and Brooklyn and Molly are already in the showers and I see Dad coming up from the basement.
“Turned the heater up all the way?”
He nods. “Full blast, nothing’s too good for my girls.”
Rayne goes over and hugs him. “Merci Remy, it’s true that you do the small things and we appreciate it. Not many people would be arsed to go and turn up a water heater even when people are upset in the family.”
“Well in my experience Rainbow it’s the little things that make up all the big things.”
She hugs him and he hugs her back and it’s good to see Dad and her getting closer. She needs someone like that in her life too. She misses her own dad a lot even though they clashed over her sexuality.
And I still say that Summer had a lot to do with that.
We take our turns getting cleaned up and showered and I heard the guys mover the van out and into the garage and I wince at the sound the front end is making.
We’re not doing this through insurance because well it’ll put our rates up more than likely and we don’t have collision on the van and I’m pretty much guessing that the assholes that sideswiped us don’t have the right insurance either so we’re going to go through the friends and family maintenance plan and do it at home.
At least we have a full on garage here.
Billy and Davey still aren’t back yet and I’m sort of worried but not worried over that. I mean they’re tough guys but there’s just tow of them. Then again I’m pretty sure that Billy at least is packing a gun some of the time.
It smells nice when I get downstairs from my shower and getting changed and I’m not wearing my inserts since at least everyone knows about them and that’s not a secret and it’s a lot more comfortable on my small little budding babes.
I actually smell pie and I look and see that Uncle Mitch is taking out some pie dough fold-overs or turn-overs out of the oven and there’s some puff pastries too. I look and I can see the Pillsbury canned dough containers in the garbage and it really doesn’t matter.
Food tastes better when someone else makes it.
And there’s turn-overs with gravy and bits of torn up KFC in them and he made a few pigs in a blanket and then there’s just the puff pastry stuff with cheese in the middle as well as some of my bread and biscuits and Dad or he made a big pot of chicken noodle soup.
Seriously it’s just the canned stuff but if you are feeling down or have friends or family that are down then get a few cans and a decent sized pot and serve it up in the pot. Dad is using one of mom’s enameled ones and he has a couple of cans of chicken noodle and at least a can of chicken and stars and a can of chicken and rice and he tossed in a handful of frozen veggies in there too and some diced up celery.
Really it doesn’t take much to make any canned soup a little bit more homey.
That and food to munch and to dip as hot tea that’s just regular tea but Uncle Mitch makes boiling hot literally before steeping it and he took out Mom’s tea stuff.
Does tea taste better out of a pot with matching tea cups?
I think it does.
It’s super appreciated though.
And it’s worth more than words to see Brooklyn starting to smile again after this stuff and Molly too. It’s like the guys know what the extra care will do for us.
We actually despite everything we clean up everything that was set up and yeah there might just have been a little emotional eating and stuff with what happened but we’re happy and we’re tired and the guys actually send us off to bed.
Mike and Brooklyn in Jase’s old room and Rayne and I inside Mom and Dad’s old room Kimmie shook her head at out offer to join us and she crashes on the living room couch while Carmen and Molly take up the little fold out in the laundry room out back.
It’s still sort of strange coming here and it’s still sort of strange or hurting in an ow sort of way that Dad still doesn’t live here. But I can sort of get it too. I mean it’s got to be painful on a way that most folks unless they lose someone would never get.
It’s clean though and dusted and the bed’s made too and it’s been washed and everything which is I guess progress? I think he’s been going in here and stuff because there is this smell that’s Mom’s scented candles and like I said it’s pretty clean.
I get the girls to text school saying that they won’t be in since it is so late and that there was an accident and that everyone was okay. They’ll get it in the morning which at this point is just an hour or two away.
Rayne was out pretty fast with the after the adrenaline crash and I think the other girls were too and she was holding onto me pretty tightly which was okay by me actually. It was an upsetting night. I lay there for a while and I’m not really sure how long just sort of taking Mom in and trying to connect with her some before I fell asleep too.
I didn’t really plan on being up first but it’s just the way that it is.
My old house, home is strange to me enough that It’s a thing. The sound of the street and the feel of the house and not being in my room.
I mean this is home but it’s not where Angel lives and it’s just sort of hard to explain. I love being here but I don’t really live here anymore, like not even in my own head.
But I like did sleep.
It’s just I think I heard the bikes pulling in.
I get up and I slip out of bed and I pad myself downstairs and the guys are in the kitchen getting coffee.
Billy takes off his jacket and sits and takes a long drink. “We chased to assholes down or at least some of them. Danny and Randy took off right fast using their buds as a distraction and for a shitty looking truck they have a really good engine in her.”
Davey says. “Four-forty.”
I nod that’s a big one, lots of power.
Uncle Mitch nods too. “Well they’re not going to be leaving town I don’t think.”
Billy says. “Nope, not when they’re in business.”
Dad says. “You caught that too?”
The boys nod and I walk in. “Yeah, I did. They have someone cooking for them.” I look at Billy. “So what’s it mean?”
He shrugs. “It could mean a lot of things honestly it could mean that they have a cook and it could also mean that they have a decent one and they’re working for the cook or it could be somehow connected to Adam.”
I look at him as I get a coffee too. “Connected to Adam?”
Davey says. “Adam brought in the bikers to mess with Mike, well the same crew is still around at Adam’s shagging shack with all of those girls and they’re playing ball with us because they’re now here for potential business and revenge.”
“Hookers and drugs.” Billy says.
“And Blackmail, they’ll figure out the blackmail and will want a chunk of that from the extortion money.”
I look at them. “So what does this mean?”
Dad says. “Adam might be going legit with the studio, he’ll sell off the motel and the girls and the drug business to the club and they’ll take over operations and he’ll get a really big stake for things with all laundered club money.”
I’m frowning. “Can we stop it?”
Dad shrugs and looks at the guys. They nod. “It’s not a done deal and that’s got to be because the drugs aren’t moving fast enough yet so we have time.”
Davey gets up and walks outside with his coffee and he lights a smoke once he’s outside. “Time to either mess with them and hope it doesn’t turn into a war or time enough to squeeze Randy and Danny and find out where the cookhouse is at and destroy it.”
“And that’ll protect Mike?”
“Mike’s already protected so yeah, it’s only if these guys get such a big deal like this with the club up and going that they’ll have enough sway to get Mike back on the chopping block as it were.”
I sigh…dammit…we really need to find those tow now or something.
I mean this is Starlight Butterfly not Teller-Morrow.
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