The Pastor -- Chapter 2 -- First Advent Sunday

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The Pastor

By Asche

Copyright 2015

Chapter 2 -- First Advent Sunday

Reverend Hanley loved Advent. It held all the joy of Christmas but without the crass commercialism that had consumed Christmas, even in Hopewell, Alabama. The younger children were in the front of the church, in front of the pews, sitting on the floor. One of the more responsible six-year-old girls had been chosen for the honor of lighting this Sunday's one Advent candle. Then the congregation sang a children's hymn and then one of the older boys came up and read the Scripture passage. As soon as the boy started to speak, Reverend Hanley realized he should perhaps have left it for after the children had left. It was the passage which includes Jesus saying, if you have lusted after a woman in your heart, you have already committed adultery. He was worried about what the children would make of it, and so decided to scrap the children's sermon he had planned and make up one that would shift the emphasis away from sex.

"Have any of you had your parents say, stop hitting your brother or sister on the head, and then you hit him or her on the foot so you can say, well I didn't hit him on the head?"

The children all laughed at that. Reverend Hanley glanced up at the pews and saw Mrs. Taylor sitting a few rows back and Jesse sitting on her lap. He suddenly realized what Mrs. Taylor meant by a "haunted look." His look reminded him of those refugee children, orphans who had seen their family killed in war. All through the sermon, that look troubled him.

"So Jesus is saying, it's not enough to just not do the things God tells you not to do," he concluded. "You also have to not even think of doing them." On that note, he signaled to the organist to begin the hymn for the children to go out to the Sunday School wing.

As the last of the parishoners shook his hand at the end of the service, Reverend Hanley saw Jesse come over to him, followed by his mother. He still had that bleak look on his face.

"Reverend, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jesse asked.

"Certainly, my son," replied the pastor.

"Uh, somewhere a little private? I don't want everyone to hear."

They walked to the edge of the porch, on the opposite side from the playground.

"Reverend, my Ma told you about me thinking I was, well, you know." The pastor nodded. "Well, if me being a girl is a sin, and thinking of sinning is as bad as doing it, don't that mean--"

"Doesn't" the pastor automatically corrected him.

"Doesn't that mean I'm gonna go to Hell? I can't stop thinking of how much I want to." His voice started to break up. "I pray to God to help me not want to, but I do, all the time. I don't want to go to Hell. Please, can you talk to God and ask him to help me?"

The pastor didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he wanted to say something to make Jesse feel less afraid. On the other, he couldn't contradict what he'd said in the Children's sermon or to his mother. The logic of the Lord's law and the Lord's word said he was going to go to Hell, and he couldn't see any way around it.

"Son, I think the Lord knows the burdens we carry. I can't see Him sending you to Hell if you're doing the best you can." But Jesse didn't look very comforted.

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The Pastor also needs to look

The Pastor also needs to look at the passage that says what God has said as well. "I knew you in the womb, before you were born". He or possibly She does not make mistakes, so there is a reason behind everything he does while creating a male or female and then seeing them born. We just have to figure it out on our own is the problem we all encounter in our lives.

As a pastor I would ask...

Questions like: Does your mother love you the way you are, I know I do? (pause) If God is greater than your mother or I, I think God has the capacity to love you and I believe God does.

Words will not be sufficient Jesse to feel alright with herself. If she's comfortable in me calling her she and a girl, I'd do so. If not I would ask in private if I could do so.

Hugs, Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors