Luke's brother, Steven, came home and found out about his brother being two spirited. He also met Little Fawn and Laughing Maiden, and it wasn't a good thing. Steven left the house after an argument with his dad, and vowed to never come back. Then we found out about Luke's school and how his counselor found out about him being a two-spirit person. And, how she started talking with White Antelope and learning about the Native American people.

 

It was Saturday, and Caley and I were dancing at the Fire Ceremony. And, as a surprise for Mrs. Lynch, she would be meeting Little Fawn. The full moon would rise at about eight that evening. And, we planned for Caley and me to be there at about eight to hide in the teepee, before others would start arriving at about eight-thirty for the ceremony that would start at about nine.

I decided to wear the dress that mom had gotten me. So, after Caley and I had gone to a movie at one of the casino's movie theaters that afternoon and had a quick dinner. I dropped her off at her house. Yes, I now have my driver's license.

I went home and started getting ready for the ceremony. I undressed, and slipped on a pair of panties. Then I took my makeup case over to my mom and dad's room, sat at my mother's vanity, and braided my hair. Then came my favorite thing to do, my makeup. I just love watching my masculine face slowly transform into a pretty girl's face. So, a thin coat of foundation, a light touch of eyebrow pencil, some mascara, a light touch of eyeshadow, the lip liner pencil in pink, then the lipstick, and finally a little blusher. And, I was seeing Little Fawn again, but not quit feeling her. Yet.

Then it was back to my room. I put on a bra, and slipped the form into place. Then the dance outfit. Which one? I had three to choose from. I looked at them, and picked the dress that my mother had gotten me, and hadn't worn since that Pow Wow where they'd given me the Give Away Ceremony. But, it felt really good to have the buckskin dress on again.

My mother walked into my room, and said, “Hi Honey. I just came up to see if you needed any help. And, it looks like you don’t.”

“Thanks mom.”, I said. "It really feels good to be wearing a dance outfit again."

"Honey. You should really dance more.", she said.

"I know. But, Caley hasn't wanted to since that day. So, I haven't really felt like it either."

"Why hasn't she wanted to?"

"I just think that she was depressed over that whole incident. She never told me until the other day. I just hope she doesn't hold back anything else like that from me."

"How did you talk her into doing it?"

"I just told her that White Antelope had asked us to dance. And, that I really wanted to dance with her. Then she wanted to do it."

"Maybe that's what she needed. Someone to ask her to dance for them. Or, in your case, to dance with her."

"Yeah. I think she really did."

Mom sat with me as I finished dressing. I put on the moccasins with the leggins. I replaced my four studs with fancy earrings. I used the ones that Mrs. Redcloud had given me, for one set. And, for the other set, I used a pair that Caley had given me. They were multiple strands of beads about four inches long.

I put the pretty red and white bone choker that my aunt had given me around my neck and tied it in place. I moved the Eagle Feathers from the last headband that I'd worn to the one that I'd worn the first time that I'd danced. I looked in the mirror, and there was Little Fawn. Now I really felt like I was her. And, I smiled to myself.

And, it felt like someone else was smiling with me. Maybe Spirit Dancer?

Mom walked downstairs with me, and my dad was sitting there. He looked at me, and said, "Honey. You look really nice tonight."

"Thanks dad.", I replied.

"You mother tells me that you and Laughing Maiden are going to dance at the Fire Ceremony."

"Yeah. It's a special one for Miss Thorn. And, she's going to meet Little Fawn tonight too."

"Miss Thorn? Isn't she the guidance counselor from the high school?"

"Yes. She's taken a real interest in Native American culture, and has been meeting with White Antelope. And, wants to learn more about two-spirt people."

"That's good. The more that she knows about the culture. The better she'll be able to work with the students."

As I was walking out, my mother said, "Honey. Have fun. And, don't be too late."

"I will mom. Laughing Maiden has to be home by midnight, so I should be home right after that."

I picked Caley, or really Laughing Maiden, up, and seeing her in her dance outfit again made me smile. She looks so pretty. And, I told her so.

We drove over to White Antelope's house, and got ready for the ceremony. I put on my headdress, and helped Laughing Maiden with hers. He had a lot of firewood stacked for the fire, and had a fire laid, ready to start. Just before the others started to arrive, he lit the fire, and Laughing Maiden and I hid in the teepee. We closed the flap, so no one could see in. And, luckily there was a bench seat inside, so we were able to sit and wait.

We heard people start to arrive, and talk among themselves. Then just before nine, we heard White Antelope ask everyone to sit. He introduced Miss Thorn to everyone, and then gave the opening prayer. And, that was our cue to get ready. I took Laughing Maidens hand in mine, and whispered, "I love you."

She smiled at me, and said, "I love you too."

I carefully unfastened what was holding the flap closed. And, then picked up my dance shawl and fan, as did Laughing Maiden, and we waited.

White Antelope then asked everyone to meditate, and it was silent for a few minutes.

Then the drumming and singing started, and Laughing Maiden and I exited the teepee and started dancing. She danced one way around the fire, and I went the other. I noticed that White Antelope and Miss Thorn were sitting facing the teepee, and could see us as we started dancing. And, I could see that Miss Thorn was smiling.

We danced for a few minutes, then White Antelope held up his hand, the drumming and singing stopped, so we stopped dancing. Then White Antelope said, "Will the dancers and drummers please join us around the fire."

When I'd stopped dancing, I was standing by Miss Thorn. So, I sat next to her. She looked at me, and smiled.

White Antelope then said, probably more for Miss Thorn then the rest of us, "Each of you brought two small sticks to offer to the fire. The first stick will represent something that you would like to be free of from your life. The second stick is a prayer request for something that you want to bring into your life. Both sticks will burn, turn to smoke, and release their energy. This will allow the past energy and the new prayer request to move along to its highest spiritual path.

"Will everyone now toss their sticks into the fire."

Everyone tossed their two sticks into the fire. Then White Antelope started a chant. That was a prayer to the spirits. Everyone that knew the chant joined in. When the chant ended, White Antelope said another prayer.

Then the drummers started, and he invited everyone to join in the circle dance. As I stood up, I offered my hand to Miss Thorn. She looked at me, and said, "I don't know how."

I smiled at her and said, "Join me, and I'll teach you."

She took my hand, and stood up. She watched my first few steps, and attempted them. Then she copied my next few steps. And, she slowly got the hang of it.

We danced one circle of the fire, and stopped. When we stopped, Miss Thorn said, "Thank you miss. You dance very well."

"Your welcome, Miss Thorn. You learn quickly.", I replied.

"You know me?"

"Yes. Do you remember when I told you that you could walk past me on the street and not recognize me?"

She looked at me. Shook her head no. Then her eyes got big, she smiled, and said, "Oh my God! Mr. Overfield."

I smiled back, and said, "No. It's Little Fawn."

"Oh yes. Little Fawn. I can't believe this. You're so pretty, and dance really well. And, you're right, I wouldn't have known who you were. Your outfit is just gorgeous."

White Antelope then gave a closing prayer, and then walked over to us. Laughing Maiden joined us. And, I said, "Miss Thorn. I think you know my friend, this is Laughing Maiden, but I think you know her as Caley Tallchief."

"Yes. Miss Tallchief. You are also a wonderful dancer. Seeing the two of you dance. It was like watching a mirror image. You two were perfect together."

"Thank you.", Laughing Maiden said.

White Antelope broke in with, "We thought that it was time that you met Little Fawn. And, decided to surprise you."

"A very nice surprise.", Miss Thorn said.

Just then the three drummers, being drummers, started drumming. And, Laughing Maiden and I looked at each other, smiled, and started dancing. And, I heard White Antelope say to Miss Thorn, "Sit and enjoy. You're in for a real treat."

Laughing Maiden and I started dancing the Buckskin dance. And, everyone there sat and watched. A few even started singing. After we finished our dance, we got a few others to join us in another dance, and I even pulled Miss Thorn back out. And, this ceremony turned into a fun time.

As we were finally breaking up, Laughing Maiden and I were talking with White Antelope, and Miss Thorn walked over. She said, "I want to thank you three for a fun night. I haven't had this much fun for a long time. Plus finally meeting Little Fawn and Laughing Maiden, and seeing them dance was amazing. And, you even tried to teach me to dance."

"Miss Thorn.", I said. "It was fun having you here and your dancing wasn't bad. And, I'm glad you liked your surprise. You should come to our next Pow Wow, and you'll see a lot of really good dancers and different dances."

"I think I'll do that. And, I really do want to sit down with you and learn more about you.

"You just look so much like a girl. You act like a girl, dance like a girl, and it appears that everyone accepts you as a girl. I think I'm seeing what two-spirit people are to their people.

"I'd be more than happy to sit down with you. Just let me know when."

"Miss Thorn.", Laughing Maiden said. "Little Fawn is very special. And, so is Little Wolf. They complement each other perfectly. And, it's fun being with either of them, because they’re the same person in their heart. And, when I'm dancing with Little Fawn, I feel so alive. It's like I'm with the perfect partner."

"Laughing Maiden.", Miss Thorn asked. "Would you sit down with me too? I'd like to hear what a friend of a two-spirit person thinks about all of this."

"I would, but I may be too close to her to be really a good source of unbiased information."

"Too close? . . . Oh! You two are a couple.”, and with a smile she said. "Now I understand, too close."

"Yes. Maybe some of our friends would be better."

"Yes. You're probably right. But, you speak of her so easily just like she's a real girl. And, you know that there is a boy under there. How do you do it?"

"Miss Thorn. Are you sure that there is a boy under there? I know physically that there is. But, right now there is a spirit of a girl here. I can feel that spirit and that’s who she is. So, it's very easy to talk like there is a girl here."

"Miss Thorn.", White Antelope said. "Now you see how some of our people feel about two-spirit people. They can feel that spirit, and they know that they're special. I think if you asked anyone that was here tonight, that they would tell you that they knew that Little Fawn was really a boy, but that they knew that the boy spirit wasn't here, but his girl spirit was. And, they will treat him as a girl.

"And, Little Fawn is lucky to have a Guardian Angel like Spirit Dancer. She helps her in many things."

Miss Thorn said, "You three have really helped me see this part of Native American heritage, and I really appreciate it. Also, I know I have a lot more to learn, and this will help me do it. And, Little Fawn, I would really like to talk to some of your friends."

As I was taking Laughing Maiden home, I was deep in thought, and not saying anything. I kept seeing her glancing over at me. As I pulled into her driveway, she asked, "Honey. What's wrong?"

I parked, shut off the pickup, turned, looked at her, and said, "Do you remember when I told you about the dream where Spirit Dancer had told me that a girl had come into my life, and that she would become very important to me. And, to treat her like a princess?'

"Uh huh."

"You and I both know that the girl is you. Don't we?"

"Yeah."

"But right now I'm kicking myself for not realizing that she had a problem. That she was depressed. I should have known."

I saw tears in her eyes.

"Baby. Don't cry.", I said. "I'm just mad at myself for not seeing that and helping you before now. White Antelope has told me that two spirited people can sense things about people. When they're in trouble, when they need help, when they're depressed, or troubled by something.

"And, I didn't see it in the most important person in the world to me."

The tears really started. I'm glad I'd taken the pick-up truck tonight. It has a bench seat, and I could hold her. And I did.

Then I thought, 'Wait a minute. White Antelope asked us to dance together tonight. Did he know? Did he want me to see it on my own? Am I too close to Laughing Maiden to see her depression?'

I whispered to her, "Baby. Don't cry. I'm just mad at myself for not seeing this."

She whispered back, "Honey. I'm just so happy that you're holding me. And, knowing that you love me as much as I love you."

Then we were both startled by a tapping on the window. We looked and there was Laughing Maiden's mother, looking at us, and she didn't look happy. I opened the door, and she said, "All right you two in the house. Now!"

Laughing Maiden and I looked at each other. And, she whispered, "Oh God. We're in trouble now."

We got out of the truck, followed her mother into the house, and to the kitchen. Her dad was sitting there. And, neither of her parents looked happy. Her mother said, "Do you two realize what time it is?"

Both Laughing Maiden and I looked at the clock, and it was almost one in the morning. I said, "Mr. and Mrs. Tallchief. I'm really so sorry. I know it's way past her curfew. But, we were at the ceremony until just a little while ago. We must of lost track of time."

"That's no excuse.", her mother said, "She is supposed to be home by midnight."

"Yes ma'am. I know. And, I'm very sorry. But, Miss Thorn from school was there. And, we were teaching her to dance. And, the time got away from us."

"What about what I saw in the pickup?"

"Mom.", Laughing Maiden said, "I've been depressed since I was attacked. And, Luke just found out tonight that I was. I guess I was hiding it really well. And, we were having a serious talk about it. I started crying, and he was comforting me. I'm sorry. We should have come in as soon as we were back."

"Honey. You were depressed?"

"Yes mom. I was. But, dancing with Little Fawn tonight brought me out of it. It was like I was alive again. I wanted to dance, and have fun. And, I didn't want it to stop."

"Why didn't you talk to someone? Are you really all right?"

"Now I am. I really am."

Mrs. Tallchief looked at me, and said, "Luke. . . . Darn! It's so hard calling you Luke when you look like you do right now. But, Luke, I was ready to ground her, and forbid you two from seeing each other. But, I think that would be the worse thing that I could do to either of you.

"Now. You'd better get home before your parents come looking for you."

I quickly said goodnight to Caley's parents. And, Caley walked me to the door, we shared a very nice good night kiss. Then I asked her, "What did your first stick represent?"

"Being attacked by that guy.", she answered with smile.

I smiled, and said, "That's what mine represented too."

"Really?"

"Yes. What did your second one represent?"

"I'm not telling."

"Oh. Come on."

"Okay. I will if you will."

"No. I'm not telling either."

"I didn't think you would. Now get out of here before you get in any more trouble."

"I love you. See you tomorrow."

"Love you too."

Just as she was closing the door, I heard their phone ring.

I drove home, and there were lights on in the house. And, I figured that since it was after one in the morning, that I was in big trouble. As I walked into the kitchen, my parents were sitting there. And, I said, "Mom. Dad. I can explain. We . . . "

My mother stopped me with, "Honey. There's no need to explain. We just got off the phone with Caley and her mom, and we got the full story. And, we're just happy that she's okay."

I just looked at them, and asked, "So, you're not mad?"

"No. Just a little concerned about the two of you."

"I know mom. If they'd fix our cell phone coverage. We could have called. White Antelope's place is in a real dead zone."

My dad smiled, and said, "They'll be here next week to do a survey."

"How did you do that?"

"The Tribal Council told the cell phone company that they had to do something about the coverage on the reservation, or they were going to go with another company that would."

"I guess the only drawback are those ugly towers."

My dad grinned, and said, "We asked them about that too, and they said that they could possibly disguise them as pine trees."

"That would be great."

"But, no more of this late night stuff. I'm getting too old for it."

"Sorry daddy. It won't happen again."

I really don't like putting Little Fawn away. It feels like I'm removing part of me. I guess I really am. But, I'm only putting away what makes me look like her. She's always part of me, and I can always feel her.

The next day, I took Caley to lunch and a movie. At lunch we talked a little bit about us telling each other everything. Then, later as we were leaving the movie, we saw White Antelope and some other tribal elders. White Antelope saw us, excused himself, and walked over to us.

As he walked up, he said, "You two really put on a fantastic dance for everyone last night."

"Thank you.", Caley said. "I really needed to do that. It felt so good to dance with Little Fawn again."

He smiled, and said, "Come. Let's sit and talk."

We walked with him to one of the restaurants, found a quiet corner, and got something to drink. He looked at us, and said, "Little Wolf. You didn't know that she was depressed. Did you?"

"No I didn't.", I replied. "And, that's really bothered me."

"Don't let it. I saw it, and wouldn't have let it get any worse. You are very close to Laughing Maiden, and it's very hard to see things in people that you are this close to. But, it's part of your learning about two-spirit people.

"And, it was one of the reasons that I asked the two of you to dance at the Fire Ceremony. It helped you see her depression and it was a way to help her. With a person as close to you as she has become, you really have to concentrate to feel things."

"But when she was attacked.", I said. "I felt her pain, both physical and emotional. Why not this."

"You two have become much closer than you were then. And, being as close as you are now makes it hard to see the other person. But, you can. You just need to learn how. And, you can learn that. You need to go someplace and be completely alone with each other. Someplace where no one will bother you. Where you can sit a vigil together and your spirits can communicate."

"The Island of Dreams?", I asked.

"No. That is for finding your spirit. And, both of you have your spirits."

Caley looked at him a little puzzled, and asked, "I have my spirit?"

"Yes. Think back to when you were attacked, and Little Wolf saved you. What did you see while you were laying on the ground?"

Caley thought for a minute, then smiled, and said, "The only thing that I can remember seeing while I was laying on the ground was an otter in the river."

White Antelope smiled at her, and said, "Do you know what it means to have an otter as your spirit?"

"My spirit is an otter?"

With a bigger smile, he said, "Yes. And, whoever named you, Laughing Maiden, knew your spirit. An otter is the keeper of laughter. But, Little Wolf had better watch out, because the otter also represents feminine power. But, she is also playful, trusting, and inquisitive."

Caley had a little smile on her face. And, we sat there for a minute, then she asked, "Little Wolf's spirits. What do they mean?"

White Antelope said, "Being two spirited, he obviously has two spirits. The fawn or deer, and the wolf. And, just because it's Little Fawn and Little Wolf doesn't mean that the spirit's power is little. It's just the opposite. It's very strong.

"The deer has spiritual healing powers, and displays compassion, gentleness, and kindness. The wolf leads the way, he is the pathfinder. He's also intelligent and shows leadership. So, both are leaders.

"The most important thing with Little Wolf, is his Guardian Angel. She will guide and protect him."

"When will I ever learn all of this?", I asked.

"Little Wolf. Never. I am older, much older, than you, and I'm still learning. I'm actually learning things from you as I teach you. But, you will eventually be wise beyond your years."

"One thing I have learned, is that when it's time for us to sit our vigil together we will know. And, we will probably also know where we are to go."

White Antelope smiled, and said, "Yes. You will know."

 

 

Caley and I were having dinner with our parents at her house one night. And, Kimi was at her grandmother's for a sleep over.

As we were eating we talked about a number of things, and one was Caley and I meeting White Antelope and what we'd talked about. When Caley told everyone, that she'd found that the otter was her spirt. My mom looked at her, smiled, and said, "You're in good company."

"Why?", Caley asked.

"The otter is my spirit too."

Caley looked at me, and said, "You'd better be careful. You have two women in your life with otter spirits."

"Why?" I asked.

"Just remember the otter represent feminine power."

The three women laughed, and I just shook my head.

My dad said, "I'm hurt. I'm probably the only one here that doesn't have a spirit. And, Luke, you're only half Native American, and you've got two."

"Actually.", I said. "Anyone, if they believe, can have an animal spirit. But, I know what dad's would probably be."

"I'm afraid to ask this. But, what?"

"A grumpy old bear."

Everyone, but my dad, laughed. And, he just said, "Nice."

Caley's mother then looked at us, and asked, "Now you two. Care to tell me what White Antelope meant about you two being too close?"

"Mom.", Caley said, "You know that Luke and I are close. We mean a lot to each other, and it's more than from what happened in the park. We feel things together. When we visited Spirit Dancer's grave, we both felt her presence. And, she was happy that we were there together.

"White Antelope even sees it. In the way we dance together. In how I accept Luke's two spirits. And, maybe he sees more than what he's even telling us.

"But, what he was talking about was in Luke not seeing my depression. That we're so close that he couldn't see it. But, when we sit the vigil together our spirits will become closer. And, then he should be able to sense things about me like he can with others."

"You two are only sixteen. And, I know that we all know how you feel about each other. You haven't hidden it very well."

"Mom. I haven't tried to hide anything. And, I don't think Luke has either. We love each other.

"And, there's something that I don't even think Luke knows. When I first met him, I could sense that there was something really special about him. And, I really wanted him to notice me, and he finally did. He's always been special to me."

"What you told his brother that time, really surprised me.", Caley's mother said. "But, it also opened my eyes to where things seem to be going between you two."

"Mine too.", my mother said. "Caley also surprised me. She was right up front about how she felt."

"I've even heard them tell each other how they felt."

"I have too. And, seeing how they react when the other is hurt really tells me how they feel."

We sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I asked, "Well?"

Caley's dad, who is usually the strong silent type, said, "Kids. We just don't want to see you make any mistakes."

"Daddy.", Caley said, "We do love each other. And, we love you guys. But, we know where to stop. Luke and I both want to go to college, and know that being married and having a child would make that almost impossible. We've never talked about this, but we know how each other feels about it.

"Realize that we respect each other in all ways."

After another one of those silent periods. My mother finally said, "Well. We asked. And, I guess Caley told us."

"Yes.", Caley's mother said, "I guess she did. What do we do now?"

"Nothing. I think no matter what, that these two are going to be together."

"You're right. He did risk his life for her."

"And, I'd risk my life for him.", Caley said.

"This is hard for a mother to admit.", her mother said. "But, I'm beginning to see that you two really belong together."

I looked at Caley, and said, "After all of that, I know for sure that you're more mature than I am." Then looking at our parents, I said, "Guys. Caley surprised me again. She knows me better than I know myself. She said it all. And, there's only one thing that I can add, and that's that I also love her."

Our mothers looked at each other, and my mother said, "I guess we now know for sure what we'd suspected. And, if it's true love, and I think it is, there's nothing that we're going to do about it. Even if we wanted to.

"They know what's in their hearts. And, we need to accept it."

My dad said, "I accepted this a long time ago. Seeing how they've gone through things together. How they interact with each other. How they respect each other. You could feel the love and respect between them. You just knew that they love each other."

I looked at my dad, smiled, and said, "You know. Maybe not a grumpy old bear, but a wise old bear."

That got a laugh, and my dad just shook his head.

 

 

Two weeks later, on a Friday, I picked up Caley for school. As she got in the pickup, I asked, "Did you have a dream last night?"

"Yes.", she replied. "And, I figure you did too?"

"Yes. But, tomorrow is the Pow Wow."

"And, your birthday."

"I wanted to dance at the Pow Wow."

"Me too. But, if we're supposed to sit our vigil tomorrow, we need to do it."

"I guess we'll just have to miss the Pow Wow."

"Do you know where we're supposed to go?"

"No. But, White Antelope said that we'd know the way. I'm going to see if dad will let me have the Jeep."

"The Jeep?"

"Not knowing where we're going. I want to be able to use any of the roads, even the fire roads."

"Oh."

Neither of our parents were happy about not knowing where we were going. But, knowing that White Antelope knew about all of this, made them feel a little better.

In my dream about the vigil, I had been Little Fawn. So, on Saturday I became Little Fawn. I sat at my mother's vanity and braided my hair. Then applied my makeup. Not heavy like it'd do if I was dancing, but just enough to bring out Little Fawn. The more I do this, the more I love doing it. The girl looking back at me from the mirror looked so at ease as to who she is, so confidant, so strong, so pretty.

I'd borrowed a fairly plane Native American cloth dress from my mother. But, I wore the choker that I'd worn the first time I'd danced. My moccasins were also plane. And, no head band. It was a simple look. After all, we were probably going into the woods somewhere, and I didn't want to get the good clothes dirty.

When I went downstairs, my mother said, "Honey. You be careful."

"I will.", I replied.

"Do you have everything that you'll need?", my dad asked.

"Yes. I've got water, food, and everything else."

"I sure wish we knew where you're going."

"Me too. But, I think that White Antelope knows where we're going. I think it might be one of his special places."

"Are you taking a rifle with you?"

"Yes. Knowing that we could end up in the back country, and not knowing what we could run into. I figured that it might be a good idea."

"I guess I did teach you at least one thing."

"Daddy. You've taught me a lot."

As I was leaving to pick up Laughing Maiden, I gave my parents a hug. And, my mother asked, "Any idea of when you'll be home?"

"No. I just hope it won’t be an all night thing. But, we’re sitting a vigil, so it probably will be."

"Okay. We won't wait up."

I drove over to Laughing Maiden's house, and went in. She was waiting for me, and was also dressed in a fairly plain dress. Her parents asked basically the same questions that mine had. But, her mother said, "You know. I'll be up all night waiting."

"Mom.", Laughing Maiden said, "Please don't. We'll be fine."

"I know you will. But, I'll still be up."

We gave both of them hugs, and as we walked out the door, I heard her father say, "I can't get over how good Little Fawn looks no matter how she dresses."

As we got in the Jeep, Laughing Maiden asked, "Any idea where we're going?"

"Not really.", I replied. "I did put the G.P.S. in, so that we could back track. But, I don't think that we'll need it."

As we come to an intersection when I knew we had to turn, she'd say, "We need to turn here." And, point in the direction we needed to turn.

It was like we both knew where we were going. And, we were going into the back country of the reservation. And, we were going up into the mountainous area. The roads were getting worse and worse. And, we were finally on one lane fire roads. And, I was glad that I'd brought the Jeep. Because the roads, if you could call them that, were getting really rutted.

Finally we rounded a corner, and the road ended at a drop off. At the bottom of the drop off was a river. And, it was almost a hundred feet below us. We knew that we were where we were supposed to be. We sat there for a minute and just looked at the view. It was spectacular. There was a valley below us, and more tree covered mountains across from us.

When we got out of the Jeep, there was a trail that led further uphill into the woods. We grabbed everything out of the Jeep, my backpack, the blankets, the rifle, and a jug of water.

"Is this one of White Antelope's special places?", Laughing Maiden asked.

"Yes. And, I can see why.", I replied.

We started following the trail, and it ran along the drop off. We hiked about a half of mile, and came to a clearing. And, we both knew this was the place. The clearing had a small wickiup on one side, with a fire pit in front of it. There were a couple of large logs between the fire pit and the wickiup to sit on. There was also a nice stack of firewood that looked like it had been recently added to. The view from in front of the wickiup was better than the one where we'd parked the jeep.

We looked inside the wickiup and there was room for maybe three or four people. There was also a small fire pit in the middle of the floor, and a sleeping mat. And, it looked very clean. We put all of our things inside the wickiup, and I laid a fire in the outdoor fire pit for later.

Laughing Maiden whispered, "I've got to go."

"Go? Go where?", I asked.

"To the bathroom. Where do we go?"

"In the woods."

"In the woods!?"

"Yeah. You've never been camping?"

"No. Not really. Just a cabin in a National Park."

"And, I bet that it had indoor plumbing."

"Yeah. It did."

"And, you call yourself a Native American?"

"You're really a boy. And, it's easy for you. But, I'm a girl."

"Well. I know girls always sit. So I guess just squat and go."

"Oh God. I don't know if I can."

"Just try. You'll be able to do it."

"Okay. I'll try. Do we have any T.P.?"

"Of course."

I took a pack of folded toilet paper out of my backpack, and handed it to her. She looked at me and said, "Where?"

I looked around, and saw a place that would be hidden by some bushes. And, I pointed and said, "Over there. Behind the bushes."

"Okay. I'll try."

"You'll be fine. And, I'm going over this way and go too."

"Okay."

"Oh. Watch out for poison ivy. You do know what that looks like?"

"Yes! I know what that looks like."

I was back before she was, and when she came back, I asked,"Was it that bad?"

"No. Not really. But, what if I have to go the other way?"

"The other way?"

"You know. The other way."

"Oh that. Well. I've got a small shovel with me. You go back into the woods, dig a cat hole, go, and fill the hole in."

"Oh God."

"We're going to have to take you camping. Real camping. Go backpacking. Sleep in a tent. Cook over an open fire. Maybe even do an overnight canoe trip."

"You've done that?"

"Not recently. But, my dad and I use to do it all the time."

"You know. That sounds like fun. Sleeping in a tent with you."

Then we walked over to the edge and stood looking at the view. Someone had strung a couple lengths of rope between trees, as a kind of fence. It was an almost straight drop down to the river.

Laughing Maiden cuddled up close to me, and I held her close. She said, "I could live here."

"It would be pretty.", I replied. "But, with the snows up here in the winter, you'd be snow bound."

"That would be fun, if you were there."

Then I felt the first rain drop. We'd been looking east, and hadn't seen the clouds approaching from the west. I turned and looked west, and there were some big, black, clouds. Then we heard a clap of thunder. Laughing Maiden jumped. And, I said, "We'd better get in the wickiup, or we're going to get soaked."

I just hoped that the wickiup was as good at shedding rain as it looked. And, I said, "That was stupid of me. Not checking on the weather."

"But, wouldn’t we have come anyway? Because it's the time that we're supposed to sit vigil together.", she asked.

"Yes. We would have. But, I'd have brought the rain gear out of the Jeep."

We got into the wickiup just as it started to rain really hard. And, it looked like it would shed the rain. There was a small pile of firewood in the wickiup, and I laid and lit a fire in the small fire pit. Soon there was a nice fire burning, and we sat there next to each other just watching the fire.

Every time there was a crack of thunder, she jumped and cuddled closer. Finally I asked, "Are you afraid of thunder?"

"Just a little.", she said. "It makes me a little nervous."

Just then there was a lightning strike close by, and she really jumped. She wrapped her arms around me. I looked at her, she looked at me, and we kissed. A nice long, deep, kiss. While we were kissing there was another lightning strike, and she didn't even flinch.

When we broke the kiss, she whispered, "I guess when I'm with you that it doesn't bother me."

"That's fine.", I replied. "I love your kisses. And, if I get one for every lightning strike, I hope this storm lasts all night."

But, it didn't. It was a quick moving storm and was quickly across the valley. We got out of the wickiup, and I re-laid the fire in the fire pit with dryer wood. I also took a quick look around, to make sure that the storm hadn't started a fire anywhere in the woods. And, it looked like it hadn't.

As the sun was setting, I lit the fire in the big fire pit, and we ate the food that I'd brought. As the temperature cooled off, I got out the blankets, wrapped them around both of us, and we cuddled together. We sat there listening to the sounds of the forest, and watching the fire. I made sure that the fire didn't die down.

She laid her head on my shoulder, and I pulled her closer. I laid my head on her head. And, we must have dozed off.

And, sometime later, something startled us awake. The fire had died down to hot coals. And, like it does in these mountains, it had quickly cooled off. So, I quickly got the fire going again, sat back down next to her, and pulled her close.

She whispered, "Did you have the same dream that I did?"

"I don't know. But, I did have a dream.", I replied.

"Was it an otter and fawn playing together?"

"Yes. And, they were joined by a wolf."

"Yes. And, the three of them played together. Did you also dream about the Rite of Seven Steps?"

"Yes."

"What do you think it means?"

"I know what it means. And, I think that you do too?"

"I do. It means that we're to be married."

I smiled at her, and said, "It does. I also dreamed that we were still dancing together at Pow Wows."

"Me too."

"And, something tells me, that because our spirit animals were playing together, that our spirits are now close enough that I'll be able to see your problems. And, anything that's bothering you. Is that too close for you?"

"No.", she replied. "The closer you are to me the better I feel."

I didn't mention it, and neither did she, but when I saw our spirit animals playing together, Spirit Dancer was standing there smiling. Then she sat on the ground, and the otter, fawn, and wolf, came over to her, and laid down in front of her. Maybe she didn't appear in Laughing Maiden's dream. But, maybe she did.

We didn't know what time it was, but I didn't want to drive out of here in the dark. So, we sat together until the fire died down to just glowing embers. And, then we could see the stars, and there were a lot of them. We sat there and looked at them for a while.

We went into the wickiup, and I relit the fire. And, we cuddled together under the blankets on the sleeping pad, and were quickly asleep. The birds singing in the morning woke me up, and I was cuddled up to Laughing Maiden. She stirred, and said, "I love to hear the birds singing in the morning."

"Me too.", I said. "We'd better straighten this place up, and head home."

"Why? I like it here."

"You do."

"Yeah. Because I'm with you."

I rolled her over and kissed her. She looked up at me, and asked, "Is this our first camp out?"

"And, it won't be our last."

"Promise."

"Yes.", and I kissed her again.

Then, I said, "I've got to ask this again. But, are you really okay with me dressing as Little Fawn?"

She smiled at me, and said, "Honey. Yes. I don't love how you look or dress. I love what's in your heart and spirit. But, I do love it when you dress as a girl. You always seems so at ease with yourself. So, at peace. And, honey please stop worrying about if I love Little Fawn. I love Little Fawn as much as I love Little Wolf."

And, we kissed.

Then she said, "Remember when we threw the sticks in the fire at the Fire Ceremony?"

"Of course.", I replied.

"Do you know what my prayer with the second one was?"

"No. You wouldn't tell me."

"It was to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Really. Why do we think so much alike?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's what my prayer was too."

"You're kidding me?"

"No. My prayer was that you and I spend the rest of our lives together."

As she pulled me down into another deep kiss, she said, "I love you so much."

I couldn't answer her in words, as we were in a long, deep, kiss. But, I think she knew that I loved her too.

We finally got the wickiup and the area around the fire pit cleaned up. And, hiked back to the Jeep. We stood there for a while looking at the view. Then started heading back home. Every once in a while we'd check for a cell signal. When we finally had one, Laughing Maiden called our parents and told them that we were alright and on the way home. While she was talking to my mom, she said, "Let me ask him."

Then she said, "Honey. Your mom wants to know if you're up for a birthday dinner tonight?"

"Sure.", I said. "I'm hungry now."

"Did you hear him?" . . . "I wouldn't miss it." . . . "Give them a call. They'd probably be happy to." . . . "Okay. He'll be straight home after he drops me off." . . . "Bye."

"What was that all about?", I asked.

"Just your mom asking me if I wanted to come for dinner. And, if my parents might want to come too."

"You know. Yesterday was the best birthday that I have ever had."

"It was?"

"Yeah. I was camping in the woods. And, I was doing it with you."

We decided to not tell our parents anything until we were all together.

Later that day, we were all together at my house. My parents, Caley's parents, Caley, and me.

I asked where Kimi was, and Caley's mother said, "She's at her grandmothers."

"Why?", I asked.

"She really likes staying at her grandmothers. So, it was a treat for her."

We had a nice dinner, and some great cake. And, I got some nice things. Caley gave me a very pretty blue and white choker.

Then as we were sitting on the patio, Caley's mother asked, "Are you two going to tell us about last night?"

"Sure.", I said. Then I told them about the drive up the mountain, and how happy we were to have the Jeep. We told them about the clearing with the wickiup. About the thunderstorm. About the view. About the drive home. I didn't want to embarrass Caley, so I left out the bathroom incident. But, I did mention about her never camping. My dad commented that we needed to take her camping sometime.

Then her mother asked, "You were sitting vigil. Did anything happen?"

"Oh that.", Caley said.

"Yes daughter. That."

Caley looked at me, and I said, "Go on. You tell them. You'll do a better job."

Caley told them the story of sitting in front of the fire, falling asleep, and having the same dream. She told them that we saw our three animal spirits playing together, and how I felt that it showed me that it brought them closer. So, that I'd now be able to sense things from her. She also told them about seeing us still dancing at Pow Wows. And, we felt that it meant that we'd continue dancing together.

She didn't mention dreaming about the Rite of Seven Steps.

When she was done, her mother asked, "Is that all?"

Caley and I looked at each other. And, I said, "Yeah. That was basically it."

"Was it?", my mother asked.

"Well. Maybe not.", I said. Then I looked at Caley, and said, "Think we should tell them?"

"Might as well.", she replied.

"Go on."

"No. You tell them."

"No you."

My dad said, "Stop! Luke. You tell us."

"Okay dad.", I said. "There was another part to our dream."

"Go on."

"You all know what the Rite of Seven Steps ceremony is. Don't you?"

"I don't.", my dad said.

Caley's mother said, "It's a wedding ceremony."

"Oh!"

"Yes.", I said. "We both dreamed about the Rite of Seven Steps wedding ceremony. And, we were the couple."

"I see."

Our mothers looked at each other. Then my mother said to Caley's mother, "Remember what we talked about with White Antelope?"

"Of course.", Caley's mother said.

"Shall we?"

"Might as well?"

"What's going on?", I asked.

"Just sit there and you'll see.", my mother said, as she got up, and walked into the house.

I looked at Caley, then at my dad, and asked him, "Dad. What the heck is going on?"

He looked at me, and just said, "You'll see."

We sat there and waited for my mother to come back. She was back shortly, and sat back in her chair. Both Caley and I just looked at her trying to figure out what was going on.

Finally she said, "When you told us that you were going to go and sit a vigil together. Caley's mother and I went and talked with White Antelope. He told us a number of interesting things. And, one was about what you told us about, the Rite of Seven Steps wedding ceremony.

"It shocked both of us. Knowing how young you are. But, he pointed out that age has nothing to do with it. It's the connection between the two souls. He told us that he's never seen it in someone your age before. But, he's not surprised that it happened. He says the first time he saw you together that he knew that there was something.

"Caley's mother and I talked long and hard about it. And, we finally decided to, as we've done with Luke's two spirts, support you. And, hopefully guide you to a long and happy marriage when the time comes. And, hopefully that is a number of years from now.

"I also told Caley's mother, that I had something to give you. And, she agreed that it would be a good idea to do it. And, so did White Antelope."

I know, I was just sitting there not believing what I was hearing. I looked at Caley, and I think that she didn't believe any of this either.

"Mom.", I asked. "What are you talking about? Where not ready for something like that."

"Honey.", she said. "The four of us love both of you very much. And, you know that we know how you feel about each other. Back when Caley was attacked, I hurt as much as her mother did. It was like my own daughter being attacked. Caley's mother and I have talked a lot about you two."

"And, Luke. You're like a son to me.", Caley's mom said. "Not because you saved her. But, because of who you are. We know that it will be sometime before you are ready to take the big step, but we know that it will happen."

"Now.", my mother said. "Luke. I have something for you. It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me just before she passed over. And, she told me that I should give it to you or Steven when you found that special person. I don't know if Steven has, but I know you have. This was her wedding ring. It's silver and turquoise. It's your decision if you give it to her now, as a promise ring. Or, keep it until you're married, and give it to her as a wedding ring."

She handed me a ring box. I opened the box, and the ring was gorgeous. It was silver, with some very pretty engravings, and there were pieces of turquoise inlaid into it. I looked at Caley and she was quietly crying. I got up, took her hand, and as I led her off the patio, I said, "Excuse us. We'll be right back."

I led Caley to the bench in the group of pines. We sat quietly for a while. Then I looked at her, and she was still quietly crying. I asked, "Honey. Why the tears?"

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "Because I'm so happy. All the important people in the world know how we feel about each other, and accept it. But, most important of all, I'm with you."

I wiped the tears out of her eyes. Then I took the ring out of the box, and slipped it on her left ring finger. And, I said, "Caley. I didn't need all of this to tell me that I love you. Someday I will marry you. And, I want you to wear this ring as the promise of my undying love for you until such time that I give you an engagement ring."

She looked at the ring on her finger, looked up at me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and we just held each other. She finally pushed back, looked at me, and she was still crying. But, she said, "Luke. As the Great Spirit is my witness. I pledge my love to you and only you."

We kissed for a long time. Then, Caley looked at me, and said, "I'll wear this ring until we decided it's time to become engaged, then I'll wear your engagement ring. But, I would love to have this ring as my wedding ring."

We kissed again, then we got up, and walked back to where our parents were. We walked up to where our parents were sitting hand in hand. No one said anything, but just looked at us.

Caley held up her left hand. And, I saw our parents smile.

 

 

Caley and I survived the rest of high school together. I did continue to learn more about being a two-spirit person from White Antelope. Little Fawn and Laughing Maiden also danced together at Pow Wows, and Caley started competing again, and did very well. Well enough to become the youngest female Head Dancer in our tribe's history.

My parents and I took Caley camping a number of times while were in high school. The first time, was a little rough on her, but she adapted to roughing it fairly quickly. She actually took to cooking over an open fire or cook stove fairly quickly. And, she didn’t mind even carrying a backpack.

Our first camping trip alone, was right after we'd graduated from high school. She and I took a week long canoe trip together. I did spend some time teaching her the proper way to paddle a canoe before we went. On that trip, we learned other things about each other. Like, how much we could enjoy each other in a double sleeping bag. And, there were many camping trips after that.

We also survived college, and did so even though we were at separate universities. I was pre-med at one and she was studying education at another one. But, we were both close enough to come home every weekend, and of course on those weekend Little Fawn was around, and if there was a Pow Wow that weekend we danced together.

We were married right after Caley graduated with her bachelor's degree in education. And, we held our Rite of Seven Steps wedding ceremony during one of the Pow Wows. We wanted everyone there, and they were. Caley was dressed in a very pretty white buckskin dress and white moccasins. Her headdress was also very pretty.

If you don't know what the Rite of Seven Steps wedding ceremony is, it's a beautiful and meaningful wedding ceremony. The family and friends of the bride and groom make a circle around the fire and hold hands. Then the bride and groom take seven steps clockwise around the sacred fire. Each time a step is taken, a vow is said. The groom takes the first step and says his vow, and then the bride takes a step to join him and says her vow. And, they continue this until they've made seven steps, which makes one complete circle around the fire.

White Antelope performed our marriage ceremony. And, he was accompanied by a friend playing softly on a flute. When White Antelope was done, and we were married, a group of men playing a large two headed drum started playing and singing. Caley and I led a circle dance, and it was a big circle. The reception was fun, a lot of dancing, singing, good food, and good friends.

I still remember what our seventh vows to each other were. And, I cry every time I think of them. I had said, "O' my beloved goddess, as you have walked the seven steps with me, our love and friendship have become inseparable and firm. We have experienced spiritual union in God. Now you have become completely mine. I offer my total self to you. May our marriage last forever."

And, Caley had said, "My husband, by the law of the Creator, and the spirits of our honorable ancestors, I have become your wife. Whatever promises I gave you I have spoken them with a pure heart. All the spirits are witnesses to this fact. I shall never deceive you, nor will I let you down. I shall love you forever."

She's now wearing my grandmother's wedding ring as her own wedding ring.

Somehow I made it through medical school, and Caley earned her master in education as the same university. I did my residency at the hospital close to the reservation, which meant that we were close to home, and we lived with Caley's parents. We had our first child while I was in residency. And, after I finished my residency, we stayed on the reservation. And, our second and third child was born.

I drove Caley crazy by knowing what sex our children were going to be well before they were born, and I wouldn’t tell her. And, just before our children were born, Caley and I also had the same dreams about what our children's names should be. The first boy's name means Strong Deer, because we both dreamed of a big buck deer. We call him Buddy. The second boy's name means Spirit Warrior, because we dreamed of a warrior and of Spirit Dancer. And, we call him Tommy after my father. The girl's name means Star Dancer, as we dreamed of dancing under the stars. And, we call her Shelly. Our children even took to me being Little Fawn, as they became use to her as they grew up, and could understand what a two-spirit person was.

I became the doctor for the reservation, and I worked at the local hospital. I also had a free clinic for another small reservation that was about thirty miles south of us. And, even though I was a man of medicine, I still knew I was a two-spirit person, and I used that to help our people. What White Antelope had taught me, was always with me. And, Spirit Dancer seemed to always be there.

I continued to become Little Fawn, and Laughing Maiden and I continued to dance at Pow Wows. And, I guess my leadership showed, as I became head of emergency medicine at the hospital, and a member of the Tribal Council.

Kimi made a wonderful aunt. And, there was always a fight between her and our parents who would watch our children. The grandparents usually won out, and took turns, but Aunt Kimi was always there to help.

We taught our children their Native American heritage, and Laughing Maiden and Kimi taught them to dance. Our daughter was really a good dancer, and as she got older she looked remarkably like Nora, or Spirit Dancer, had. One of the boys was also a good dancer. But, the other one, not so much, but he loved the drum and to sing. But, all three of them loved to camp, and the five of us spent many nights sleeping under the stars.

One of the things that my spirits showed me, that I really didn't want to learn, was how sick my dad was becoming. I sensed it before he even knew. And, it took me a long time to get him to see the specialists. But, it was too late. I even went to where Laughing Maiden and I had sat our vigil, and spent a day in prayer. But, it didn't do any good. The vision of Spirit Dancer that I had that day, told me that a sad time was coming, and that I needed to be strong for my mother and the rest of the family. A month later he passed over. At least his three grandchildren got to know him.

My brother Steven? We, unfortunately, have no idea what he's up to. I even tried really hard to find him before our father passed over. But, couldn't locate him.

No, I didn't become a medicine man, but used the knowledge that White Antelope had given me to help our people. And, after White Antelope passed over, I helped our new medicine man, Gray Owl, learn. He, as White Antelope had, saw the strength of my spirits, and the knowledge that White Antelope had passed on to me. We visited all of White Antelope's sacred places together, including where Laughing Maiden and I had our vigil. And, when we visited that place, and were walking up to the clearing, Gray Owl stopped, and said, "There are a lot of strong spirits here. I also feel that your spirt is very strong here."

We sat at the fire ring, and I told him the story of our visit here. He smiled and told me that he could sense only good things from the visit that Laugh Maiden and I had made here. Then as we were standing looking at the view, Gray Owl said, "Your Guardian Angel is very strong. Isn't she?"

"Yes.", I replied. "If I didn't have Spirt Dancer for a Guardian Angel, I don't think that I'd have Laughing Maiden. And, I'd be very lonely and sad."

"I know of the ordeal that the two of you went through. And, I also know that your marriage was meant to be. So, Laughing Maiden had to be saved. And, your Guardian Angel will always be strong, and will always be with you and your family."

One thing that still puzzles me. Why did I receive two Eagle feathers when I sat my vigil on the Island of Dreams?

- The End. -