“Godddd…” I moan as I prop myself up on my elbows on a towel on the floor of the converted London taxi. “Why does it have to take this long?”

“It’ll take as long as it takes,” Hannah replies from the driver’s seat of the taxi.

“Not ‘that’,” I say. “I mean my damned dilation…” I stare down at the thick orange tube poking out of my vagina and sigh again.

“Do you want me to get you a pillow, or something?” Hannah asks.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I say, trying to sound at least SLIGHTLY grateful for the company. “I know I shouldn’t complain really, I mean, this is nothing compared to what Mary’s going through…”

After finishing my dilation, Hannah and I head back into the hospital waiting room, where the rest of the Angels- along with Keith and Stuart- are waiting for us. After greeting Stuart with a kiss, I sit down next to him and wearily rest my head on his shoulder.

“Any news?” I ask.

“Not a peep,” Krystie moans. “God… Why don’t they just C-section her and have done with it?”

“You know Mary would never accept the scar,” Charlotte sighs. “And she was dead set on having a natural birth…” As if on cue, the door to the maternity ward opens, and Dan walks out, pushing his still-heavily pregnant wife in a wheelchair.

“False alarm,” Dan says, shaking his head to mass groans.

“Don’t you fucking groan!” Mary snaps, rubbing her vast belly. “I want this thing out of me now!”

“Then induce!” Krystie pleads with her best friend.

“I don’t want to induce,” Mary moans as she’s wheeled back to her car. “Not yet, anyway…”

“Sooner or later, you’re going to have to make a choice,” Dan says tiredly.

“I know, I know,” Mary sighs. “Can- can we just go home, please?” Dan nods and drives the distressed girl back to their posh London flat, leaving the rest of us standing around aimlessly.

“We’d best get home as well,” Charlotte orders. Tiredly, all of us return to our respective rides- Keith drives Charlotte, Hannah and Viks home in the ‘Angelmobile’, whilst Stuart drives myself, Krystie and Nikki (the Angels’ new PA) to our respective homes in his car.

“Can you drop me at my studio please, Stu?” Krystie asks. “Now that I know I’m not going to be on ‘auntie’ duties I might as well set up for a lesson.”

“Can do,” Stuart says.

“I’ll let Sarah know it’s on tonight,” Nikki says, straightening her short pencil skirt and typing out a message on her phone. “Want me to post on the Facebook group?”

“Please,” Krystie replies.

“Ah, what would the girls do without you, Nikki?” Stuart jokes, making the 17 year old girl giggle and making me and Krystie roll our eyes.

“I know how to post a message on Facebook,” Krystie moans.

“Yes, but only on the rare occasion you know where your phone is,” Stuart retorts- and this time, I can’t help but let out a tiny giggle.

“You know, when I cleared out your desk, I actually found two old mobile phones in there?” Nikki says, making the whole car- even Krystie- laugh.

“What happened to them?” Krystie asks. “I trust you’re not stealing company property, Miss Thomas…”

“One of them was smashed to bits,” Nikki explains. “The other one had half a Mars bar melted into the adaptor socket, so I didn’t dare charge either of them up.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Krystie laughs.

“I guess I shouldn’t really complain about being back and forth to the hospital,” I muse as we drive along. “I mean, you were the same when I was in hospital in April, after all.”

“And I expect the same when I’m in hospital next October!” Stuart laughs.

“And me when… Well, whenever, I guess…” Nikki laughs, before her voice trails off sadly.

“Oh Nikki,” I begin. “Have you still not got a date?”

“No,” the young woman sighs. “I was aiming for after my first year of uni, but now that I’m not going to uni…”

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” I ask the girl I’m increasingly viewing as a protégé.

“No, definitely not,” Nikki confirms. “It’s just… A LOT of hassle.”

“Believe me,” I say with a smile on my face. “It’s well worth the hassle in the end.” Stuart smiles and squeezes my hand as we head home.

“Mum, dad, we’re home,” I call as I lead my boyfriend through my front door.

“Any news?” Dad asks, before seeing my companion. “Oh, hello Stuart!”

“Hi Mark,” Stuart replies, enthusiastically shaking my dad’s hand before sitting down next to me on the sofa.

“No ‘hi’ for your own daughter…” I joke, making dad roll his eyes.

“Hi Jamie,” dad mock-sighs with a smirk on his face. “And for the second time: any news?”

“No, another false alarm,” I sigh.

“God above,” dad exclaims. “How overdue is that baby now?”

“Five days,” Stuart answers. “And to answer your next question, no, she’s not inducing or having a C-section.”

“Don’t see why she’s being so stubborn,” dad moans. “Did you know Jamie was born by a Caesarean?”

“I think you may have told me before,” Stuart says, giving me a quick hug.

“Yeah, let’s just share all my personal details,” I joke as the two most important men in my life laugh at my expense.

“What have you two kids got planned for tonight?” Dad asks.

“Trying out a new Peruvian restaurant that’s opened in Westminster,” Stuart says.

“Ah,” dad says. “You and the rest of the Angels, or is this a hot date?”

“Hot date,” I say, feeling slightly embarrassed by the candid way my father is discussing my love life.

“I leave the door unlocked,” dad laughs.

“Speaking of, I’ve got to get home,” Stuart sighs, checking his watch. “Got some work to catch up on. See you tonight, babe.” Stuart gives me a lingering kiss as he stands up, waving at me all the way out the front door.

“I really, really like him,” dad says, relaxing back into his chair with a smile.

“I- I actually love him,” I confess.

“GOOD,” dad says. “I’ve said all along that you don’t need a man to be happy, but ever since you started seeing Stuart you’ve been a whole new woman.”

“I started seeing him a couple of weeks after my surgery,” I giggle. “Technically, I WAS a whole new woman!”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” dad says. “And who knows? In a couple of years I may get to walk you down the aisle…”

“Bit early to be thinking about that!” I say dismissively.

“Your grandmother got married when she was 22,” dad says, still chuckling happily. “So did two of your great-aunts…”

“Well, yeah your daughter WON’T,” I say firmly.

“I’ll settle for when you’re 23,” dad laughs, making me roll my eyes as I turn my attention to my phone.

After a light snack- I don’t want to ruin my appetite for dinner, after all- I change into my outfit for the night. It being a boiling hot July day, I’d only worn a loose sundress over a comfortable bra and panty set, but for my date, I want to wear something special. I exchange my comfortable panties for a mesh thong- the mesh breathes enough to be comfortable around my still-healing, still slightly swollen area, and is see-through enough to show off said ‘area’! I decide against a bra, instead picking out a dark red halter neck dress with built-in ‘support’. The dress is clingy enough to show off my curves- and my cleavage- and short enough to give my tanned legs the same exposure, especially when paired with the strappy 4” heeled sandals I’m planning to wear! I repaint my toenails and fingernails a dark red colour to match the dress, and apply a thick layer of make-up, including two different shades of red lipstick. After spraying on a cloud of perfume, I tie the sandals to my feet (giggle at how similar it is to tying on a pair of pointe shoes), tie my hair into a playful updo, grab my handbag and head downstairs to where my sexy boyfriend is waiting for me.

“Hey, beautiful,” Stuart says, greeting me with a soft kiss. Stuart, for his part, is wearing a pair of plain black trousers, smart black shoes and a light-blue short sleeved shirt with a decorative pattern stitched into it. It probably took him five minutes to get ready, as opposed to the 30 minutes plus I took, but it hasn’t stopped him from looking seriously hot.

“Hey, sexy,” I reply, slipping my hand into the back pocket of his trousers as he leads us to our taxi.

Just over an hour later, after finishing our delicious meal, Stuart and I take a gentle stroll, hand-in-hand, along the brightly-lit streets of the sprawling city.

“You know,” I muse, “I’ve lived in London my whole life, sometimes I forget just what a beautiful city it is.”

“I know, I’m the same,” Stuart says. “Well, ‘whole life’ apart from 3 years of uni, anyway.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget?” I say with a grin. “Sexy AND talented. When are you going to write me a song?”

“I think James Blunt beat me to it,” Stuart laughs. “You’re beautiful…” I can’t help but giggle contentedly as Stuart serenades me.

“It’s getting late,” I whisper after Stuart finishes his song. “We should get home…” Stuart sees the devilish grin in my eyes and immediately susses out why I’m so eager to get home.

“Taxi!” Stuart yells, returning my excited smile.

We arrive home less than half an hour later and all but leap into each other’s mouths the second we reach my bedroom door. It doesn't take long for me to strip Stuart down to his boxer shorts, and he quickly unties my halter neck, freeing my breasts for him to play with, paying special attention to my stiffening nipples. I'm soon freed from the dress- and my thong- and I leap into Stuart's arms, allowing him to carry me the short distance to my bed. I gently lower his shorts, freeing his swollen clitoris, and I give it a quick kiss, allowing its short, but not insignificant length to slip between my lips. Immediately, Stuart is moaning in ecstasy, and it doesn't take him long to pulse in orgasm from the 'blowjob'. As he recovers, I lay on my back on the bed, my legs as wide as my recovering crotch will allow.

"Three months," I say with a devilish grin. Still panting heavily, Stuart returns to my breasts, gently teasing my nipples, before running a finger down my body to my own, brand-new clitoris. I feel a wave of electricity flow over me as his finger gently strokes it, eliciting the feelings I've waited so long to feel. As Stuart gently slips a finger into my vagina, I can feel the climax building inside me when all of a sudden, it's as if the orgasm 'bursts' and I pant heavily- but not as heavily as I've done in the past when men have made love to me.

"Was that good for you?" Stuart asks.

"I think so," I reply, bringing a confused look to Stuart's face.

"You THINK so?" He asks, sounding particularly put out by my response.

"Give me a break," I reply, hopping off my bed to get my dilating kit. "I've never had a vaginal orgasm before!"

"But you have had orgasms," Stuart replies. "And if you only THINK so..."

"Oh relax," I say, lubricating the dilator and inserting it into my vagina. "We've got time to work it out! Besides, I kinda like the thought of you 'exploring' my body..."

"Where no man has gone before," Stuart chuckles, laying down beside my naked body. "Well, no flesh and blood man, anyway..."

"Oh, stop being so jealous of a dilator!" I laugh. Stuart also laughs, but it's clear that even after three months, he's still uncomfortable when I dilate in front of him.

After I remove the dilator and climb in bed, snuggling up to my sexy boyfriend despite the warmth, I can’t help but muse on how perfect my life has been since my surgery in April. The recovery proceeded perfectly, without complications- I’ve followed my (ever decreasing) routine of vaginal care to the letter, and aside from the slowly fading pink scars, you truly wouldn’t be able to tell that I hadn’t been born female. Even my gynaecologist has remarked on how quick my recovery is- though given how expensive my SRS surgeon was, I’d be a bit put out if my recovery wasn’t this quick!

As quick as my recovery has been, though, I’m still not back to absolute 100%. I haven’t returned to my regular Monday ballet lessons yet (though I will be this Monday coming) and have been taking remedial lessons alongside Krystie’s adult intermediate class to get some flexibility back in me. Joshua keeping me busy with light work also means I don’t have the opportunity to rest and catch my breath- immediately after my surgery, I worried that I was going to get cabin fever from being cooped up in my bedroom for so long, now I’d give anything for a lazy day like that.

Most of the reason for my increased demand is the debut of the first season proper of our TV show. We’re still receiving high viewing figures and rave reviews- well, for a reality show, anyway- and all six of us have seen our public profiles go through the roof. We don’t seem to be able to go two days without one of us being interviewed on TV or featured in a magazine- and it’s my turn tomorrow to keep that ‘run’ alive! The one sad thing is that between Mary’s pregnancy and my surgery, there hasn’t really been any opportunity for the six of us to appear all together- though the other four are more than picking up the slack, especially Viks, who finished university last month with a 2:1 and seems to be fully embracing the celebrity lifestyle! Our show has been renewed for a second season, though, so we’re all but guaranteed to do big group events like we did for our big ‘premiere’ in December last year.

…Though Joshua seems determined to expand his ‘brand- and, in fairness, it is HIS brand. As hard as we’ve worked behind the scenes to promote the show, Joshua’s worked as hard as all six of us combined, even making rare TV appearances himself (something that would have been unthinkable for him a mere 12 months ago). For the second season, Joshua’s quite open about lining up his niece Adeola and Stuart’s sister Rebecca as additional Angels, or forming a separate ‘group’ centred around them. As they’re both highly talented singers, I wouldn’t be surprised if Joshua holds auditions and promotes them as part of the next great girl band. If we get a third season of the Angels, Joshua’s even thought about including Nikki and her girlfriend as part of the group, especially given that Nikki’s already an unofficial ‘seventh Angel’ already. Hell, next season Joshua’s even giving airtime to the boys- Stuart, Keith, Dan, Jonathan, Paul (Kennedy) and Riley have been hanging out together a lot, even despite Paul’s recent break-up with Krystie, and many media outlets have already started referring to them as the ‘boy Angels’. Joshua signing them all to exclusive ‘zero-hour’ contracts certainly helps that point of view. It shouldn’t surprise you either to learn that Stuart and I were photographed by reporters when we arrived at the restaurant for our date.

Our private parties, however, continue to be as fun as ever. As both Mary and I were ‘side-lined’ for Dan’s, Riley's & Charlotte’s birthdays in May, we skipped our usual costume parties (much to Becca's disappointment, as she was looking to 'treating' her boyfriend), but they’ll be back in force for Krystie’s 22nd at the end of the month- in the shape of ridiculous sci-fi inspired costumes. When I first saw what Charlotte had in mind I honestly thought she was joking, and Mary nearly left the Angels then and there- the costumes are skin-tight red PVC leotards with a very skimpy thong back. Complementing the leotards are thigh-high platform boots and long gauntlets in matching red PVC, and black plastic ‘armour’ (which also naturally doubled as a corset) to cover the leotards (whilst not covering our buttock or our cleavage, of course). Winged ‘helmets’, sci-fi inspired gizmos on our wrists and, of course, huge toy laser rifles complete the utterly ridiculous look, which is a far cry from the exquisite Nutcracker-inspired tutus we wore last year! A part of me actually hopes that Mary will manage to hold off giving birth long enough that we’ll be spared the ‘experience’ of wearing the damned things…

…Though they’d undoubtedly get us in every tabloid newspaper the following day, as would the comparatively normal sci-fi ‘armour’ the boys will be wearing, and looking incredibly sexy doing so. As much as I’m seen as an inspiration to transgendered girls around the country (Angels is extremely popular with the LGBT demographic), Stuart’s increasingly being seen as an inspiration to boys on the ‘opposite’ journey. The fact that he is about as blokish as it gets- in public, anyway- only makes him more popular. He and the boys actually fulfilled a lifelong ambition when they had a beer with the Top Gear presenters after one of their live shoes in May, and Stuart in particular is constantly on at Joshua to get me on Top Gear as the start in the reasonably priced car!

But, as famous as he may get, as much as the public may embrace him as their ‘favourite transman’, he’ll ALWAYS be, first and foremost, my favourite transman, just as I always intend to be his favourite girl- trans or otherwise! And yet, as I cuddle up next to him in bed, I can’t help but shake the thoughts of what might have been.

I LOVE Stuart. I have no qualms about telling him this, to his face, on a daily basis. No man has ever made me smile as wide, laugh as hard or feel as blissfully content as he does. I could quite happily spend every remaining second of my life in his company, and yet… There’s something lacking, as our sex session proved. To all intents and purposes, I AM making love to another girl… and it’s just not as satisfying as having sex with a man… Like I did when I went out with Paul.

The more I look back on it, the more I realise that I did love Paul. No man has ever made me orgasm as much, and in as many different ways as he did. His tastes for kink perfectly matched my own, and he knew every square millimetre of my body in intimate detail, knowing where to touch me and how to touch me in order to leave me in ecstasy for ages on end… And that was BEFORE I had a vagina. Now that I’m fully anatomically female, I can only imagine how he’d be able to make me feel.

…But, as much as I love Stuart, and as much as my body craves Paul, neither of them will ever match up to the one I let get away- Keith. He is the true best of both worlds- as sensitive as Stuart, but as passionate as Paul, and as attractive physically as both men put together. He is the first man I ever loved and will always remain that way. All those who come since- including Paul, including Stuart- will find themselves measured against his standard, and will likely find themselves lacking. And yet, I know deep down that I can never have that which I desire the most, because as happy as I’d be in a relationship with Keith, what I stand to lose is much, much greater.

Ultimately, I know I SHOULD be happy with Stuart. He ‘gets’ me like no one- not even Charlotte- ever has. In bed… He certainly gets 10 out of 10 for effort. And it’s not like I ‘settled’ for him, either, especially given how long I’d pursued him before we became a couple. Since his ‘get well soon’ in April, Paul’s sent me more messages enquiring about how I am- messages I haven’t replied to, in fact I’ve gone as far as to tell Nikki to block any incoming messages or calls from him. He’s clearly interested in getting back together, but he had his chance and he blew it. As for Keith… he’s still clearly not as happy with Charlotte as he was before her infidelity, even twelve months after her convincing him to take her back- which is also twelve months after he and I nearly made love. I can’t but feel that if I wanted Keith, I could have him any time- but the cost would be too high.

I wake up at 8am on Wednesday morning with my head resting on Stuart’s pale chest and his strong arm wrapped around my naked body. After waking him from his slumber with a series of gentle kisses, we eat a quick breakfast before showering together and getting ready for the day ahead. Stuarts dresses in a plain t-shirt and long shorts whilst I dilate- also taking the opportunity to check my phone for any missed messages from ‘Team Mary’- and, inevitably, there are no updates. With ten minutes to kill until my dilating session finishes, I type out a message to the Angels (and Nikki).

‘Hey girls,’ I type. ‘MTV UK today… Anyone else up for it?’ Following Hannah ‘gate-crashing’ my interview in February, it’s become an Angel tradition that when one of us is going for an interview, we check to see if any of the others are free and want to tag along as well (I’ve got myself additional TV time this way on more than one occasion).

‘Me!’ Nikki replies, eliciting mass ‘lol’s from the girls.

‘Heh, one day, I promise!’ I reply with a smiley face.

‘Viks hasn’t got anything booked in today iirc,’ Nikki types.

‘Yeah,’ Viks types. ‘I’d love to, but my family are kinda holding me hostage today…’ Viks types a frowning smiley- which I immediately reciprocate.

‘Han and Charlie are at a shoot,’ Nikki continues. ‘Krystie’s obviously teaching and Mary’s obviously, well, you know. Looks like it’s just you today, Jamie!’

‘Lol,’ I reply. ‘Stu’s working all day too… I don’t wanna be alone!’

‘Aww, poor you,’ Mary types with a sticking-out tongue smiley. ‘Still, could be worse, you could be the size of an office block, waiting to push a bowling ball out of your vagina…’

‘Aww,’ I type with a smiley face. ‘Think of all the baby cuddles you’ll be getting over the next few years!’

‘Stop it, you’re making me broody!’ Charlotte types.

‘It’s making ME broody and I’m nine months pregnant!’ Mary types, eliciting another mass ‘lol’.

‘Got to go now,’ I type with a warm smile. ‘My public awaits!’

‘You knock ‘em dead girl!’ Krystie types.

After I finish my dilation, I pick out my outfit for the day. I’m appearing on MTV, so I want to be ‘hip’ whilst at the same time ‘fashionable’, so after pulling on a comfortable cotton bra & thong set and applying a thick layer of make-up I pull on an ‘Angels’ branded tank top and a short, straight leather skirt. I tie my hair up into a tight ponytail and put in a pair of my dangliest earrings, before tying a pair of strappy heeled sandals to my feet.

“Look out London,” Stuart says as I spray on some sweet-smelling perfume. “Here comes the world’s sexiest girl!” I giggle as my boyfriend gently kisses my bare neck and shoulders. “I’ll see you later, at Charlotte’s, okay?”

“Yep,” I say happily, grabbing my handbag and following Stuart down to our respective cars. “See you later, sexy!” I bid Stuart farewell with a long, lingering kiss before getting in my brand-new red Alfa Romeo and driving to the posh TV studio.

My TV appearance today mainly involves talking about the series, promoting our merchandise (like the tank top I’m wearing), with a few minutes devoted to personal stuff, like Krystie’s upcoming party and Mary’s baby. As always, the interview was a total success, and after posing for selfies with the cast and crew, I hop back in my car and check my messages. The show wasn’t live, so I don’t have the usual voicemail from my mum, but I do have missed calls from both Nikki and, to my surprise, Joshua. Frowning in confusion, I flick the ‘redial’ button on the first call.

“Hi Jamie,” Nikki says quietly. “Sorry, I can’t talk long, I’m with Charlotte and Hannah at the shoot and I’m kinda getting frowned at already…”

“Don’t worry about it,” I say with a smile. “What did you want me for?”

“I got a text from Joshua,” Nikki explains. “He asked me to ask you to call him, didn’t say why.”

“I’ve got a missed call from him too,” I muse. “Wonder what’s so important he got you to call me too?”

“I tried calling him, but he didn’t say,” Nikki explains. “He never struck me as the ‘enigmatic’ type…”

“Oh, he can be, if he needs to be,” I say. “I’ll let you get back to your frowns. See you later, Nikki.” Immediately after ending the call, I hit the speed-dial number for my agent.

“Jamie!” Joshua booms down the phone to me. “Get to the office now! We need to talk.”

“Oh, um, okay,” I say, taken aback as always by Joshua’s bombast. “I’m not really dressed for a meeting…”

“Whatever you’re wearing, it’s fine!” Joshua says. “This won’t take five seconds anyway.”

“…And we can’t discuss it over the phone?” I ask.

“I’d prefer not to,” Joshua says in a voice that’s considerably quieter than his usual speaking voice. Realising that what Joshua needs to discuss is serious, I head straight for the vast office complex, where I’m greeted at reception with awed coos from the other people waiting in reception- even though some of them are also models signed to Joshua!

“Hi Jamie,” Millie- the receptionist- says as I approach her. “Joshua’s in his office, just go up any time.”

“Thanks,” I reply, coolly striding up the modern staircase to Joshua’s vast office.

“Jamie!” Joshua booms as I walk through the door. “Please take a seat.” Still confused by Joshua’s call, I elegantly lower myself into one of his posh leather chairs, automatically crossing my right leg over my left and marvelling at how natural that action has become since my surgery.

“What’s up?” I ask the rich African man.

“I’ve received a job application from a photographer,” Joshua explains. “Someone who wants to come and work in my studio.”

“You must get a hundred portfolios a day,” I say. “What’s so special about this one?” With a neutral expression on his face, Joshua slides the portfolio across the desk to me. I don’t even have to open it to see why Joshua called me in- the name on the front of the folder reads ‘Paul Gould’.

“Ugh,” I spit. “He isn’t even a fashion photographer! Why’s he applied for a job with you?”

“You know I’ve been rapidly expanding my business,” Joshua explains. “You and the rest of the Angels have made me very rich, and this has meant I can look at other kinds of projects, like the artistic kind of work Paul Gould does. Jamie… His work is good. REALLY good. For the way he treated you, the way he split up with you…”

“You want to hire him,” I whisper. “If he was crap you could just get rid of him without even having to let me know he applied.”

“Who says blondes are dumb?” Joshua says with a sympathetic smile. “If you say no, then I’ll send him away. Like you said, I get a hundred portfolios a day, I’ll no doubt find another one as good as him. But there aren’t any in my current pile.”

“Do what you feel best,” I say, handing the folder back to Joshua. “Just as long as I don’t have to have any contact with him.”

“There are photographs of you in this folder,” Joshua says in an almost disturbingly quiet voice. “He clearly wants to talk to you, to apologise, maybe.”

“He’s had well over a year,” I spit. “And I’ve moved on, I’m with Stuart now.”

“I do intend to hire him,” Joshua says. “He won’t photograph you, or any of the Angels, but you know that he’ll keep trying to contact you.”

“…And it’d be awkward getting a restraining order against a colleague,” I sigh.

“Exactly,” Joshua says.

“Okay,” I say resignedly. “I’ll message him, tell him I want to see him. But I’ll be going with Stuart, and I’ll make it very clear it’s only because you asked!”

“Thank you for this,” Joshua says warmly. “When I interview him I’ll make it clear that you’re strictly off-limits!”

“Hehe, thanks,” I say as I leave the office, regretting that I hadn’t been entirely truthful with Joshua. I of course know the old phrase ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’, and I am very much the woman scorned. As far as the world is concerned, if I ever see Paul again I’ll perform on him a surgery very similar to the one I had in April, only with my bare hands. Truthfully, though… I want to hear him out. I NEED to hear him out. Another phrase I’m familiar with is ‘time heals all wounds’, and the wound Paul left me with has had well over a year to heal.

I actually feel nervous as I type out a message to Paul on my phone, asking to meet up tomorrow for coffee. When I don’t get an immediate response, I breathe a sigh of relief and head straight to Charlotte’s house, where I head up to my room and change into a light blue halter neck bikini and my designer sunglasses. I’ve healed enough that I can enjoy the cool water of Charlotte’s pool, and following today’s news, I have every intention of doing so! After tying my ponytail into a tight plait, I grab a pair of flip-flops, tie a swishy sarong around my waist and head downstairs to where Keith is already stretched out on a sun lounger.

“Hi Jamie!” Keith says.

“Hi,” I say with a smile, dropping my sarong & my flip-flops and allowing the sun to warm every exposed square inch of my body. “Oh, stop being so squeamish…” I chastise Keith, but when I turn around, the normally shy boy isn’t averting his gaze, but is instead staring intently at my backside.

“Don’t let Charlotte know you’re so interested in my arse!” I giggle, taking off my sunglasses and jumping in the pool.

“Oh, I can look, as long as I don’t touch,” Keith giggles, rolling over in the sun lounger to stare at me swimming. “Are you sure you should be swimming so soon after your operation?”

“It’s been three months!” I laugh. “And if I can do what I did in bed last night with Stuart…”

“Okay,” Keith said, rolling back over. “Speaking of, when’s he getting here?”

“I texted him earlier,” I say. “He’ll be here in a bit. And you’re NOT going inside to play Call of Duty, I have girlfriend privileges I Intend to exercise!”

“As if we’d do that,” Keith chuckles. Sure enough, within ten minutes my boyfriend arrives and quickly strips down to his swimming shorts before jumping into the pool, splashing my already-glistening body. I swim over to Stuart and give him a long kiss, giggling as he dunks us both underwater, our lips still locked together.

“Brings a new meaning to the phrase ‘came up for breath’,” Stuart says, making me laugh even harder.

“I missed you today,” I sigh. “REALLY missed you…”

“You know I always miss you when I’m at work,” Stuart replies, giving me another soft kiss. “Is- is everything alright?” I sigh as I’m suddenly reminded that my boyfriend is as perceptive as he is sexy.

“It can wait,” I giggle, splashing Stuart full in the face with a handful of water.

We stay in the pool for the next half hour before our ‘party’ is joined by Charlotte and Hannah, both of whom have changed into skimpy one-piece swimsuits.

“Hey,” I say, climbing out of the pool and drying myself off. “Good shoot today?”

“We were wearing football kits, there’s not much to day about that really,” Charlotte sighs, slowing lowering herself into her pool.

“Ooh, which team?” Keith asks.

“Really, Keith?” Stuart joke. “Not paying attention to your girlfriend’s work?”

“She said ‘a shoot for a sports company’,” Keith laughs. “Never said anything about it being football!”

“It was Arsenal,” Hannah giggles, joining Charlotte in the pool.

“Oh, well never mind then,” Keith chuckles.

“I need to get the smell of chlorine out of my hair,” I laugh. “Gonna hit the shower for a bit.”

“Me too,” Stuart says a little TOO hastily. “Um, for the, um, chlorine I mean, um-“

“Oh, just go!” Hannah orders, making everyone- myself and Stuart included- giggle as we skip up to my en-suite hand-in-hand. It doesn’t take long for us to free each other of our swimwear and, with our lips locked in a passionate clinch, jump under the hot, running water of my shower. Once we're both sufficiently 'steamy', I sink to my knees and press my lips into Stuart's crotch. I'm actually surprised when I find his clitoris there instead of a penis- every time I've been on my knees in this shower before, I've had Paul Gould's penis in my mouth, and the thought of him brought back an old 'instinct' I haven't had in over a year. Keeping my lips on Stuart's clitoris, I lock my eyes with his and suck its entire length between my lips, smiling as Stuart yells with ecstasy. I make a point of swallowing- even though, obviously, I don't have any ejaculate in my mouth- and give Stuart a long, deep kiss as we wash the smell of the pool- and the smell of sex- off of our bodies.

“Okay,” Stuart gasps as he puts his shorts back on. “That was officially the best shower I’ve ever had!”

“Glad you approve,” I giggle, pulling on a tiny pale pink bikini. “Stu… We need to talk.”

“Oh what?” Stuart asks exasperatedly. “I’m getting the ‘we need to talk’ immediately after sex?”

“I’m not breaking up with you!” I giggle. “And what we need to talk about… Well, it really wouldn’t have gone down well BEFORE sex.”

“What is it?” Stuart asks. I take a deep breath and sit down on the edge of my bed, gesturing for Stuart to join me, before I begin.

“This is such a bad idea…” I moan. “Joshua… Joshua’s given a job to Paul Gould.”

“What, that skinny bastard you used to go out with?” Stuart asks.

“Yeah,” I nod. “You know how he’s been messaging me since I had my operation, right? Well, um…”

“You want closure,” Stuart says, gently squeezing my manicured hand.

“Exactly,” I say. “And I want you to come.”

“Good,” Stuart chuckles. “That saves me the awkwardness of trying to invite myself along…” I giggle as Stuart gives me a quick cuddle before we head back downstairs, spending the rest of the day in the warm July sun.

Stuart and I head to bed just after 10pm, leaving the still-thriving party (Jonathan, Viks & Krystie all arrived just after 5pm) in favour of an early night. As I strip naked for bed, I check my phone, only to discover a message from Paul in amongst the notifications that I’d planned on ignoring.

‘Hey Jamie,’ Paul’s message reads with a smiley. ‘Long time no talk. Would love to meet up. 11am tomorrow at that coffee shop on the corner near my flat good for you?’

‘Yep,’ I reply, before switching my phone to silent for the night and tossing it in my laundry basket, where the noise from the vibrations should hopefully be muffled.

“Was that Paul?” Stuart asks cautiously, removing all his clothes and climbing under the bed sheets.

“’Was’ being the word,” I giggle, cuddling my naked body up against my boyfriend’s. Even though we’re both naked and the atmosphere in the room is hot, we don’t indulge in any sexual activities, choosing instead to cuddle each other to sleep.

It’s Stuart’s phone that’s wakes us on the mild Thursday morning at 9am- my own phone still being buried under a pile of clothes. After showering, I apply a moderate layer of make-up and pull on a light, stretchy white bodysuit with short sleeves, followed by an ankle-length blue sundress and cork wedges with a 2” heel. Even though I’m dressed as casually as possible- not even tying my hair up- Stuart still gives me a cuddle as I try to grab my sunglasses and my handbag!

Once we’re both ready- both mentally and physically- we head down to Stuart’s car.

“Do you know what you’re going to say to him?” Stuart asks me.

“I’m just going to listen to begin with,” I reply. “I’ll hear him out, then tell him to [f**k] off out of my life.” Stuart nods, but remains silent as we approach our destination. As we enter the coffee shop Paul waves, having immediately spotted me. Instinctively, I grab Stuart’s hand, intertwining our fingers as we walk toward his table.

“I got us drinks,” Paul says cautiously. “Double mocha, your favourite, right?”

“This is Stuart Milton, my boyfriend,” I say, taking a seat opposite my ex.

“Hi,” Stuart says quietly, shaking Paul’s hand.

“Oh yes,” Paul says. “The ‘anti-Jamie’.” I can’t help but wince as I feel Stuart seethe next to me.

“Actually,” Stuart says, snaking an arm around my waist, “I’m very PRO-Jamie.” I giggle a little as Stuart gently tickles my ribs- I’m EXTREMELY ticklish- and effortlessly deflects Paul’s insult.

“Okay,” Paul says, clearly uncomfortable with Stuart’s presence. “What I wanted to say, Jamie… Was that I’m sorry.” I pause, expecting more from the uncomfortable young man.

“…That’s all you have to say after a year?” I ask.

“I know it sounds lame,” Paul confesses. “But I really have no excuse. I was selfish, I was stupid, I let the best thing I ever had in my life slip through my fingers.”

“You didn’t let her ‘slip through your fingers’,” Stuart sneers. “You discarded her.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically, feeling a little put out that my own boyfriend would compare me- however unwittingly- to a piece of garbage.

“I just want to know if there’s a chance that we could be friends,” Paul says. “Especially now that I’m working for Joshua…”

“Exactly why did you apply for a job with him, anyway?” I ask. “You were doing alright beforehand, it’s a completely different style of photography from what you’re used to-“

“You applied to be closer to Jamie, didn’t you?” Stuart asks, interrupting me and irritating me for the second time in under a minute.

“I’d be lying if I said that WASN’T part of the reason,” Paul says, making Stuart shift uncomfortably in his chair.

“You’re not afraid it’ll make you seem like ‘less of a man’ to your friends?” I ask, smirking as Paul squirms under the question.

“Well, um, now that you have a vagina…” Paul begins.

“A vagina you’re never going to as much as see,” I say smugly.

“And a vagina that’s never going to have a penis anywhere near it,” Paul spits at Stuart, who is barely containing his anger.

“If I wasn’t blissfully happy with Stuart, I wouldn’t be with him,” I say, gripping Stuart’s hand and calming him down.

“If you insist,” Paul says. “I’ll be honest, when I asked to meet you… There was a part of me that did hope there was another chance for us.”

“Not. Going. To. Happen,” I say firmly, finishing my coffee. “I can work with you professionally, but that’s it.”

“Fine,” Paul says as the three of us get up and prepare to leave. “I guess I’ll have to settle for being the only guy with whom you had unprotected sex.” I feel Stuart seethe beside me as Paul mentions our most intimate moments.

“I mean,” Paul laughs. “With your current boyfriend it’s not like there’s anything that needs protecting, am I right?” The next few seconds pass in a blur as Stuart whirls round to face Paul and I hear the unmistakable sound of flesh meeting flesh HARD. Before I have the chance to register what’s happened, Paul has slumped to the floor in agony, clutching his left eye, and Stuart is stood over him, looking almost like he’s in a trance.

“STU!” I yell angrily. “What the hell did you do!?”

“Umm…” Stuart says, leaning heavily on the counter.

“Get out!” I say angrily, crouching beside the stricken young man. Silently, almost in a state of shock, Stuart leaves, getting in his car and driving away.

“Are you okay?” I ask Paul, who still hasn’t got back to his feet. “Can I get a glass of water, or some ice, or something?” I yell to the shocked baristas.

“Ugh,” Paul says, “so you prefer violent hooligans now?”

“He’s not like that,” I say defensively. “Not really… Not normally…”

“Tell that to my eye,” Paul says, taking his hand away and revealing the bruised, swollen flesh around it. “How does he hit that hard? His hands aren’t any bigger than yours…”

“He’s had eight years of flooding his veins with testosterone,” I explain. “And what you said really, really sucked.”

“Oh come on,” Paul says, grabbing a cold can of Coke and holding it to his eye.

“No, I won’t ‘come on’,” I say. “You know I’ve not exactly had it easy, I’ve had my fair share of transphobia directed at me. Well, you WOULD know it anyway, if you didn’t ditch me like a bad smell immediately after I publicly came out.”

“Yeah,” Paul sighs.

“Frankly, if it wasn’t for the oestrogen correcting my brain, I’D probably have punched you,” I giggle, making Paul smile wearily. “It was a mistake bringing him along…”

“We’ve both made mistakes,” Paul concedes. “Asking to see you again… Well, that WASN’T one of them, despite this!” Paul points at his darkening eye, making us both laugh. “And we did have good times, didn’t we?”

“We had some great times,” I say. “But they’re in the past, and that’s where they should stay.” I gulp before asking my next question. “Did- did you start seeing anyone after we split up?”

“I went on dates,” Paul confesses. “Saw a couple of girls for a few weeks, nothing serious. You’re still the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

“Same here,” I sigh.

“How long have you been seeing Ronda Rousey there?” Paul asks.

“HIS name is Stuart,” I reply defensively. “And to answer your question, three months, since just after my surgery, though I’ve known him well over a year. We met at Dr. Phillips’s office.”

“Didn’t realise she ran a transsexual dating agency as well,” Paul jokes, finally getting back to his feet and walking outside with my support.

“No, nothing like that,” I giggle. “We were both there for appointments, we got chatting, became friends… We dated briefly but both agreed it wouldn’t go anywhere. He also dated Krystie for a bit.”

“What changed your mind that made you date him again?” Paul asks.

“Because he’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had,” I sigh. “He’s a great listener, he’s sweet, sensitive…”

“…He has a mean right hook,” Paul laughs.

“He’s everything I could want in a man,” I say dreamily.

“’Everything’?” Paul asks.

“Nobody’s perfect,” I say with a smile. “God knows you proved that. And it’s not like I was ‘everything’ you looked for in a woman…”

“Yeah, but you are now,” Paul says, taking hold of my hand.

“And Stuart will be ‘everything’ soon,” I reply, pulling my hand free of Paul’s grip.

“You really, truly are happy with him, aren’t you?” Paul asks.

“I am,” I confess.

“Okay,” Paul concedes with a sigh. “Just… We could’ve been perfect.”

“Life’s too short to waste on ‘could’ve’s,” I giggle, before giving Paul a quick kiss on the cheek. “See you at work?”

“Yep,” Paul says, smiling his most beautiful smile at me before driving away.

I get a taxi back home- to my parents’ house- where I collapse on the sofa, sighing frustratedly. I was meant to see Paul, say my piece and then he’d piss off… Instead I’ve just been reminded of why I liked him so much in the first place.

“Hi Jamie!” Mum calls from the kitchen. “You’re home early, is Stuart with you?”

“No,” I moan.

“Oh no,” mum says. “Have you broken up?”

“No,” I reply, catching myself before adding ‘not yet’ to the end of my sentence.

“Good,” mum says. “Last thing you need right now is a broken heart.”

“I saw Paul earlier,” I confess. “Paul Gould, my ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh,” mum says stoically. “What did he want?”

“It’s more what I wanted than what he wanted…” I say. “He’s been bugging me since my operation, sending me the occasional message, and now he’s got a job with Joshua, so I thought I’d go along, clear the air and finally move on.”

“And what happened?” Mum asks, sitting down next to me.

“Paul wound Stuart up, Stuart decked him,” I say, making mum giggle slightly.

“What?” I ask.

“’Guys fighting over you’…” Mum teases.

“It’s not funny, AND it’s not flattering,” I retort. “Glad I got out of the whole stupid gender.”

“Are you mad at Stuart?” Mum asks.

“Yes,” I sigh. “No. A little. Maybe. I don’t know! What he did was moronic, but at the same time… I can’t really blame him for what he did.”

“Have you spoken to Stuart yet?” Mum asks.

“Not yet,” I reply. “Had enough of MEN for today.”

“What do you want to do, right now?” Mum asks, giggling at my outburst.

“I… I just want to have a girls night,” I sigh. “But I can’t even have one of those, we might get called away at any second for Mary…” Mum then leans into me and gives me a long, motherly hug- which is probably the thing I need most right now.

“Life’s not easy,” mum sighs. “Even when you’re rich and famous like you! Get in touch with the girls, see if any of them are free, we’ll have a girls night here. And if Mary goes into labour, I’ll drive you all to the hospital in that pink cab of yours.”

“Thanks,” I say with a grin.

“Now go on!” Mum teases. “It’s about the only time I’ll ever tell you to fiddle with your phone, make the most of it!” I giggle as I compose a message to the Angels inviting them all round for a night in, much like we had before Charlotte’s reconciliation with the group. I take a slight liberty in that I also invite Adeola and Becca- despite me being angry at her brother- and also Nikki & her girlfriend, despite them being under eighteen, as I figure the more girls I’m around, the more likely I am to calm down about my boy problems.

Sure enough, that evening, I’m sat in my living room laughing and giggling with six other girls. Charlotte had plans with Keith and Viks had already agreed to spend the time with her family- and Mary is obviously unable to come- but Krystie, Hannah, Adeola, Becca, Nikki and Sarah are all present, drinking wine (or fruit juice in the case of the seventeen year olds) and deconstructing the male gender one macho idiot at a time.

“…And that,” I say, addressing Becca, “is why your brother is a total jerk.”

“No argument here!” The 19 year old girl giggles. “Him, Kennedy and Riley are probably at home playing videogames. And that’s why YOUR brother is a total jerk!” Becca jokes at Krystie, who doubles over in a fit of giggles.

“I’m so glad my boyfriend turned out to really be a girl all along,” Sarah says, giving Nikki a tight cuddle.

“You’re so glad your GIRLFRIEND turned out to really be a girl all along,” Nikki giggles.

“You are, of course, going to forgive Stuart, right?” Hannah says in my direction, making me sigh and giggle at the same time.

“Of course, yes,” I say. “He may be an idiot at times but no one makes me smile like he does.”

“I don’t need to hear any more!” Becca says urgently, making the whole room giggle.

“Okay,” Krystie says. “No more talk of BOYS!”

“I can drink to that!” I say, eliciting another mass giggle.

“So,” Hannah says. “Where’s everyone off on holiday this year? Somewhere hot and sunny, I take it?”

“Of course,” Becca says with a grin. “Okay, it’s with my parents, but it’s still a week in Tenerife!”

“I’m off to LA with my mum at the end of the month,” Sarah says.

“Yeah, I remembering her saying,” I say. “I still can’t believe your mum is my counsellor, I mean, how much of a coincidence?”

“I still can’t believe your mum finally gave consent for me to come with you on holiday and I go and get a job that means I can’t go!” Nikki jokes, earning another hug from Sarah.

“Speaking of your job, Nikki?” Hannah asks, making the teenaged T-girl roll her eyes and check her phone.

“Still nothing,” Nikki replies. “This baby might get born at some point before Christmas…”

“Well if she was born at Christmas, her mum’s certainly got the right name for it!” Adeola jokes, eliciting a mass giggle.

“Yeah, except our Mary is most definitely NOT a virgin!” Krystie laughs.

“Well yes, but is anyone else in this room?” Hannah asks, eliciting a lot of guilty looks followed by a lot of loud giggles.

“Let she who is without sin…” Sarah jokes.

“There’s one thing I’ve ALWAYS wanted to know,” Hannah asks, her inebriation beginning to show. “What’s better: sex as a boy or sex as a girl?"

“Why are you looking at me?” I ask, feeling plenty tipsy myself.

“Well, um, you know…” Hannah stutters awkwardly.

“What makes you think I ever had sex as a boy?” I ask, eliciting shocked gasps from those present.

“And I’m technically a minor so I refuse to answer!” Nikki laughs.

“The SECOND you turn eighteen I’m asking again!” Hannah says, almost shaking from giggling too much. “Now sex WITH a boy vs sex WITH a girl, THAT I know how to answer!”

“Oh my god,” Krystie says excitedly, “I didn’t know you swung both ways too!”

“I have in the past,” Hannah says, calming herself a little. “I figured out what I preferred a long time ago!”

“You’re only 21, it couldn’t have been that long ago!” Adeola retorts.

“And I thought we meant to be NOT talking about boys?” I remind everyone.

“’Not boys’ it is!” Krystie says with a laugh. “So, Hannah, what was SHE like?”

“Hot,” Hannah replies, downing her drink. “Sexy, but still cuddly… The fact that we both did gymnastics at school CERTAINLY helped…”

“Mmm,” Krystie moans. “I’m not sure Nikki & Sarah should be listening to this!”

“Give that we’re the only actual lesbians in the room, I think we need to hear more!” Nikki laughs.

The conversation eventually moved on from Hannah’s tales of debauchery to gossip about work, holidays, fashion, Becca & Adeola’s fledgling music career, all topics under the sun that have nothing to do with anything male! As promised, mum drive the four teenagers home just after 10pm in the ‘Angelmobile’ (which Hannah arrived in), leaving me alone in my living room with the two statuesque blonde girls.

“Now that the ‘kids’ are gone,” Krystie says, “You are going to forgive Stu, right?”

“Okay,” I sigh. “I’ll text him now. But I’m sleeping alone tonight!”

“Aww,” Hannah coos, giving me a tight cuddle. “I was looking forward to a sleepover…”

“How much have you had to drink?” I ask, making both Hannah and Krystie giggle uncontrollably.

“You know, Han,” Krystie giggles, “we’ve both snogged AND shared a bed with Jamie, yet here she is, obsessed with a BOY…”

“Are you suggesting we should, you know, make her jealous?” Hannah asks, releasing her grip on me and sliding next to Krystie.

“Now how, pray tell, should we do that?” The very drunk Krystie asks, making Hannah giggle loudly and pace a long, sloppy kiss on her lips.

“Oh stop that,” I joke as I fire off a text to Stuart, asking if he’s okay and to meet up the following morning.

“We are SO having a sleepover,” Hannah giggles, grabbing Krystie’s hand and heading upstairs.

“Not in my bed you aren’t!” I laugh.

“Just try and stop us!” Krystie giggles as they head up to my bedroom and slam the door. Almost immediately, I start to hear the sound of bedsprings bouncing up and down, accompanied by uncontrollable giggling.

“If you break it, you bought it,” I shout upstairs, making the two excitable girls laugh even louder. Before I can stop them, an alert on my phone draws my attention to a new text message from my boyfriend.

‘Hi Jamie,’ the message reads. ‘Feeling really embarrassed about today, don’t know what came over me but hearing that smug prick laugh at me… I lost control, and I am deeply sorry. I’m busy all morning with work but can meet up for lunch. Love you xxx.’ I smile at Stuart’s contrition and return to the sensitive boy I know and love, and compose a reply.

‘Love you too xxxx,’ I reply. ‘See you for lunch! Xxxx’ Before I head upstairs to try to prevent Hannah & Krystie from destroying my bed, I twirl my phone in my hands, eventually deciding to compose a text message to my ex-boyfriend.

‘Hey Paul,’ I type. ‘Really, really sorry about what happened today... Are you okay?’ I put my phone away and prepare to head upstairs when I get an immediately reply to my text.

‘Felt better,’ Paul replies. ‘Still bruised & a little swollen. Surprised you texted me tbh.’

‘Feeling a little guilty,’ I reply. ‘Anyway I can make it up to you? Without any other physical contact, I mean.’

‘Lol,’ Paul almost immediately texts back. ‘YOU have nothing to feel guilty about, your arsehole boyfriend, on the other hand…’ I roll my eyes and quickly compose another text message.

‘Do you want to get a coffee tomorrow morning?’ I text. ‘It’ll be just me this time, I promise!’

‘Sure,’ Paul texts. ‘Probably best if we don’t go to the same coffee shop as today, but there’s a Costa just down the road from there.’

‘I know the place,’ I reply. ‘See you tomorrow!’ I put my phone back in my bag and head upstairs to my bedroom, where the two girls’ giggles have quickly become shrieking laughter. As I enter the room, I’m immediately bombarded with every pillow from my bed, which I eagerly throw back at the two drunk girls! Our ‘pillow fight’ doesn’t last long, however, before the three of us collapse, exhausted, onto my bed, quickly falling asleep in the summer warmth.

“Oww,” Hannah moans the following morning as she wakes up, her face in the direct glare of the sun.

“Your fault!” I giggle, shoving the tall girl off of my bed onto the floor, wincing slightly at the dull ‘thud’ with which she hits the deck.

“Oh god,” Krystie moans as she wakes up. “Why did you let us drink so much last night?”

“Seriously?” I ask. “You’re blaming me?”

“I know, I know,” Krystie moans. “Have you got any aspirin? I’ve got to be at work in an hour and a half…”

“There’s some in the bathroom,” I say. “Can you take Hannah with you? Kinda skipped something last night that I shouldn’t have…” I wave my thick orange tube in the air, making Krystie giggle despite her hangover as she picks Hannah up off the floor and leaves me to dilate in peace.

After finishing dilating- and the rest of my morning routine- I apply a moderate layer of make-up and dress in a clean white bra & thong set, before pulling on a light grey tank top and a ruffled black miniskirt, finishing my look by tying my hair into a tight ponytail and slipping my feet into a pair of flip-flops.

“That’s much better,” Hannah says upon seeing my look for the day. “Free those awesome legs!”

“Thanks,” I say as the three of us hop in the Angelmobile. “Can you drop me at the Costa near the cinema?”

“Sure,” Hannah- our driver- replies.

“Just remember,” Krystie giggles. “In the make-up sex, HE has to do all the hard work!” I giggle back- the girls clearly think I’m meeting up with Stuart, and there’s no reason for them to believe otherwise.

I enter the quiet coffee shop and immediately locate Paul at one of the tables in the back. Even despite his dark sunglasses, I can still tell that he has a whopper of a black eye.

“Hey,” I say quietly, sitting down and taking a sip of the double mocha Paul’s ordered. “Thanks for meeting with me.”

“It’s fine,” Paul replies. “I know why you’re here… And don’t worry, I’m not going to press charges, even though I could, and probably should.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. “My dad of course thinks that Stuart’s a hero…”

“Heh,” Paul chuckles. “He really never did like me, did he?”

“The fact that you constantly called him ‘Mr Burke’ didn’t help you much,” I reply. “Really wish I hadn’t changed my surname when I started transitioning, guess it’s a bit late to change it back now…”

“Don’t want to damage ‘Jamie-Lee: the brand’?” Paul asks, making me giggle and nod. “Understandable. You know I’ve been keeping up with you, right? Watching all your TV appearances, reading your magazine columns…” I giggle at Paul’s unashamed ‘fanboying’.

“You do know those magazines are mainly intended for women and teenage girls, right?” I ask.

“You do know they’re also published online, right?” Paul asks with a cute smile. “And I haven’t been nicked by operation Yewtree yet, so I assume I’m okay to keep reading them.”

“I really do appreciate it,” I say. “I’ll admit… I have googled your name a few times, looking for any projects you might have been involved with.”

“Thanks,” Paul says with genuine gratitude. “I am really proud of some of the recent stuff I’ve done, kinda why I shot off a portfolio to Joshua, heh. And yes, I know you’re wondering, but any ‘special’ projects you and I did in private? All gone. Completely deleted.”

“Even the one with the ballet boots?” I ask with a devilish grin.

“ESPECIALLY that one,” Paul laughs. “I knew if I watched that one again I’d probably never be able to delete it so it went first, heh.”

“Thanks,” I say with a genuine smile, before checking the time on my phone. “I’ve got to get going… Promised Stu I’d meet up with him for lunch.”

“Ah, the ‘grovelling meal’,” Paul giggles. “I should be familiar with those…”

“You take care, okay?” I say softly at the handsome young man.

“Will do,” Paul replies. “See you round, Jamie-Lee.” I leave the coffee shop with a smile on my face- I’ve loathed Paul for so long that I’d forgotten just how much he truly did make me smile at times. I hail a taxi to my next destination- my lunch date with Stuart, and check my messages on my phone. The first message, however, is deeply unwelcome- a link to a news article from Charlotte. When I open up the page, I sigh in frustration, knowing that my lunch date just got a LOT more awkward.

‘Fallen Angel: meeting between Jamie-Lee Burke and her ex-boyfriend leaves the latter with a black eye.’ I groan loudly as I read the article, which details how Stuart and I entered the coffee shop, only for Stuart to leave on his own and me to leave with Paul a few minutes later. Naturally, there’s a photo of the peck on the cheek I gave him.

“Fuuuuuuuuck,” I moan, closing the browser on my phone and dialling Joshua’s number.

“Jamie,” Joshua says stoically, as opposed to his usual booming greeting.

“You read the article, then?” I ask.

“When I told you to meet with Paul Gould, that was not what I had in mind!” Joshua exclaims. “Please tell me it wasn’t you who punched him…”

“No, it was Stuart,” I sigh. “I’m on my way to see Stu now, god knows how he’ll react…”

“You just be careful,” Joshua advises. “I’ve got a lot of damage limitation to do now… Mary has of course chosen Stuart as godfather for her baby, the papers will have a field day with THAT…”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” I say.

“Don’t you worry!” Joshua says, his usual joviality returning to his voice. “I’ll smooth it all over, you won’t need to put out an apology. Just go and have lunch with your boyfriend!”

“Thanks,” I say with a smile. I arrive at the small restaurant to meet Stuart a mere ten minutes later, and I can immediately tell from his facial expression that he’s seen the same article I have.

“Hey,” I say cautiously, sitting down opposite my unhappy boyfriend.

“Hi,” Stuart says. “So, I’m going to get thrown under the bus then…” Whilst I obviously sympathise with Stuart, I can’t help but feel put out by his self-pity.

“You broke it, you bought it,” I half-joke, shooting Stuart a sympathetic smile.

“Yes, I know,” Stuart sighs. “I just- I just saw red, you know? I’m really, really sorry that you got dragged into this.”

“Heh,” I chuckle, my mood improving thanks to Stuart’s grovelling. “If anything I dragged YOU into it!”

“Whatever,” Stuart says dismissively. “I’m still the arsehole in this story… At least we won’t have to deal with Paul again, heh. Just hope he won’t press charges…”

“Oh, don’t worry, he won’t,” I say, hoping to cheer up the miserable young man.

“…How do you know?” Stuart asks suspiciously.

“Shit,” I whisper under my breath.

“Did you- did you see him again?” Stuart asks, barely controlling his anger.

“I don’t really see what business it is of yours whether or not I did,” I say defensively. “It’s not like I stop you from seeing any of your exes.”

“This is different,” Stuart insists.

“Oh, how exactly?” I ask angrily.

“Well, um,” Stuart stutters. “You’re in the news! You kissed him, for crying out loud!”

“Just a peck on the cheek!” I half-shout, inadvertently drawing the attention of the restaurant. “I was being polite!”

“You were flirting!” Stuart retorts.

“I was not flirting!” I hiss. “I- Let’s not do this in here, please?” Even though we haven’t even eaten yet, Stuart nods, leading me outside to his car. After I sit down in his passenger seat, I continue my retort, only a lot louder than before.

“I was not flirting!” I shout. “I hadn’t seen the guy in over a year, we used to be intimate, I gave him a peck on the cheek! That’s all!”

“Well, I suppose it’s better than where you used to kiss him,” Stuart retorts, earning himself a VERY filthy glare.

“Oh, you complete arsehole!” I yell. “You know I’ve had sexual partners before, what, am I supposed to claw Krystie’s eyes out next time you hug her?”

“It’s different for guys,” Stuart argues.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” I shout. “You of all people shouldn’t be such a fucking misogynist!”

“I- I know,” Stuart sighs, realising he’s crossed a line. “I’m sorry, but-“

“No buts,” I growl. “And not sorry enough!” I open my mouth to argue further, but am interrupted by my phone ringing.

“Nikki, hi,” I say into my phone, trying not to sound too angry at the young woman. “Save me please from this horrific quote-unquote lunch.”

“Action stations!” Nikki says breathlessly, as though she’d been running.

“Action stations?” I ask. “What do you mean by ac-“ My eyes go wide and I exchange a concerned glance with Stuart.

“Oh, shit!” I breathe into the phone. “Um, uh, which hospital is she in? Is there anything I can do?”

“Same hospital she was in on Tuesday,” Nikki says amidst a lot of background noise. “May’s parents are flying in from Belfast today- can you pick them up from Gatwick?”

“Can we get to Gatwick to pick up Mary’s parents?” I ask Stuart, who nods and starts his car.

“We’ll be there in 45 minutes,” Stuart shouts into the phone.

“That’s good,” Nikki says. “I’ll let them know you’ll pick them up. You’ll need a lot of boot space. Got to go- see you at the hospital.”

“Oh shit,” I mouth as Nikki hangs up.

“Calm down!” Stuart laughs. “It’s not like you’re the one having the baby!”

“I know, I know, it’s just- this is real!” I breathe excitedly.

“It was ‘real’ the last two times as well,” Stuart laughs.

“Oh shut up,” I retort as we head toward the airport as fast the city’s speed limits allow.

“Hi,” the middle-aged Irish man says as he dumps his bags- including a HUGE pink teddy bear- in Stuart’s boot. “It’s Jamie and Stuart, right?”

“Yes, hi Mr Logan,” I say politely.

“For god’s sake, call me Pete!” The old man insists with a smile. “Hope I’m not too late…”

“I’m getting updates from Krystie every few minutes,” I say as I compose a text message letting her know that Mary’s parents have arrived. “No progress yet but her waters HAVE broken.”

“Then take me to my granddaughter!” Pete insists.

“And, um, your regular daughter, right?” Stuart asks with a chuckle.

“Just go, go!” Pete insists, laughing excitedly with his wife. We arrive at the hospital just over an hour later, Krystie greeting the four of us with big hugs.

“She’s in the labour ward,” Krystie explains breathlessly. “Dan’s with her, but I’ve not heard anything for a while.”

“God, can you imagine if it goes so slow she’s born tomorrow?” Mrs Logan asks. “Daughter of a Northern Irish Catholic born on The Twelfth?”

“I’m sure she’ll be out soon,” Stuart says, escorting the expectant grandparents to their seats before slumping down in a chair next to me.

“I’ll still mad at you,” I say stoically.

“…But there are more important things right now?” Stuart asks, making me nod and us both giggle.

“…And I’m sorry for being an insensitive, macho, masculine, sexy, hunky idiot,” Stuart grovels, making me giggle even harder.

“Right on all counts,” I sigh, resting my head on the hunky idiot’s shoulder. “And you don’t need to worry, I’m not going to see Paul again, well, not outside of work anyway.”

“The soo-“ Stuart starts, before wisely shutting his mouth. “Never mind.”

“No, go on,” I say softly. “You thought better of it, I won’t get mad, I promise.”

“I was going to say ‘the sooner Joshua forms that girl band so I can work for him the better’,” Stuart says. “But that does kinda make me sound like a jealous idiot.”

“Nah,” I giggle. “It’d be great working with you. That way I’d always have someone to bring me coffee whenever I’m at the office!” Stuart playfully rolls his eyes, before giving me a long kiss on the forehead. “Speaking of fetching things for me…”

“You want me to get your dilating kit, right?” Stuart asks.

“Hunky AND perceptive,” I giggle, giving Stuart a playful squeeze on the buttock as he leaves- a gesture that I know he is VERY appreciative of! With my boyfriend running his errand, I get out of my chair and stroll over to Krystie, who’s staring intently at the hospital’s vending machine.

“I’ve got change if you’re hungry,” I say, buying myself a Topic bar.

“No,” Krystie sighs. “Just- you know, ‘mentally preparing myself for godmotherhood’, heh.”

“I know the feeling,” I laugh. “I’ve already bought so many presents for her, not just for the Christening either…”

“That girl is going to be more spoiled than Prince George, hehe!” Krystie giggles.

“God, can you imagine if she marries Prince George?” I say.

“Give the girl a chance, she hasn’t even been born yet!” Krystie laughs. “Though you’re right, it would be cool…”

“Speaking of relationships…” I begin.

“Let’s not…” Krystie replies.

“Seriously, what happened between you and Paul?” I ask.

“Eh,” Krystie shrugs. “Turns out we were just incompatible.”

“I am going to HAVE to find you a man you ARE compatible with!” I joke.

“Aww,” Krystie giggles. “So in addition to Kristina-Leigh’s regular godmother, you’re going to be my fairy godmother?”

“It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it!” I giggle.

Hours pass as we await any news from Mary & Dan. Stuart returns, and watches over me as I (once again) dilate on the floor of the Angelmobile. Afternoon turns into evening- Nikki more than earning her keep by ferrying cooked meals to us from the hospital canteen- and all of us grow increasingly tired and worried about our friend. A camera crew even shows up on Joshua’s orders, waiting for the opportunity to catch the world’s first glimpse of mother and child.

“It’s 10:30pm,” Stuart sighs. “She’s been in there HOURS.”

“It’ll take as long as it takes,” I moan, once again resting my head on Stuart’s shoulder.

“Have you ever thought about having kids?” My boyfriend suddenly asks.

“Umm, you of all people should know that isn’t going to happen for me,” I reply, giggling as Stuart rolls his eyes.

“You know what I mean,” Stuart says. “Adopting, fostering, something like that.”

“Perhaps,” I sigh. “You’re taking this relationship a little quick, aren’t you?”

“Well you’re not mad at me about Paul anymore, so…” Stuart teases, making me giggle a little.

“Oh, I’m still mad,” I say with a smile. “I’m just too tired to be REALLY mad. Some of the things you said REALLY sucked.”

“I know,” Stuart sighs. “If I have to grovel for months, I will. I really, really do love you, you know.”

“I love you too,” I say happily. “…Idiot.” Stuart and I both giggle as the night draws on.

I must have nodded off in the hospital chair as I suddenly become aware of Stuart eagerly shaking my shoulder.

“Jamie!” Stuart whispers excitedly. “Jamie! Wake up!”

“Unhh…” I moan. “Wh-what time is it?”

“Just gone 4am,” Stuart says. “Look!” I open my bleary eyes to see Dan stood at the end of the corridor, wearing medical scrubs and the widest grin possible plastered on his face.

“Ladies, gentlemen,” Dan says breathlessly to the enthralled crowd. “It is my honour, and my infinite pleasure to announce the birth of Kristina-Leigh Angela Carter at 3:31 this morning, weighing 7lb, 10oz.” A massive cheer erupts from the mouths of everyone in the waiting room- myself included.

“Can we see her?” Charlotte asks excitedly.

“Mother and daughter are sleeping,” Dan says. “Believe me when I say they both need some rest! Go home, we’ll still be here tomorrow morning.” After everyone in the waiting room- including the camera crew- congratulates Dan personally (the men with handshakes, the women with hugs), the crowd (minus Dan and the four new grandparents) head out into the cool morning air.

“Almost can’t believe it,” I sigh as I slump into the passenger seat of Stuart’s car, whilst Krystie and Paul Kennedy let themselves into the back seat.

“I know,” Paul sighs. “Everyone got their presents ready?”

“Of course,” Krystie says smugly. “Stu, can you drop me at home? I came to the hospital in a hurry, all my stuff for the baby’s still there…”

“Yeah, same here please,” Paul asks.

“Sure thing,” Stuart says, trying not to yawn as we drive along the deserted early morning streets of London. By the time we arrive back at my place, the Sun is already starting to rise, neatly contrasting our exhausted bodies, which collapse in bed almost immediately as we enter my bedroom.

We both wake up just after 9:30am, and with it being a Saturday, neither of my parents have been up for long by the time we tiredly slog down the stairs, still wearing the clothes we’d worn the night before.

“So?” Mum asks. “Any news?” I can’t help but smile an exhausted smile at mum’s enthusiasm.

“Seven pounds, ten ounces, I think they said,” I say, making both my parents laugh and clap their hands with delight.

“Brilliant!” Dad says. “Then why, pray tell, are her godparents not there fussing over her?”

“We only got in at 5am!” Stuart whinges. “Mary was in labour forever, Dan sent us all home. Poor guy looked exhausted himself…”

“Well now that they’ve had a chance to rest,” mum orders, “get yourselves cleaned up and get back down there! You’ve got a goddaughter to fuss over!”

Okay, okay,” I sigh. “But just so you’re aware, ‘god-grandparents’ isn’t a real thing…”

“We can wait for real grandchildren,” dad laughs as Stuart and I finish our breakfast and trudge upstairs, taking turns to shower (whilst Stuart’s in the shower, I also take the opportunity to dilate) before changing into fresh clothes- Stuart keeps a clean pair of jeans and a few t-shirts at my house for just this occasion, whilst I pull on a cute knee-length patterned summer dress over a light blue tank leotard. After Stuart’s dressed, I find myself smiling happily at Stuart as he gathers together our gifts for the new family. Unable to stop myself from giggling, I skip over to the young man and give him a light kiss on the lips.

“Umm, thanks, but what was that for?” Stuart asks, confused by my suddenly happy mood.

“For being the best godfather ever,” I reply.

“I’ve not even met my new goddaughter yet!” Stuart laughs. “But, if you insist…” Stuart then surprises me by placing a long, soft kiss on my freshly-made up lips, which soon curve upwards into a huge smile.

“Let me guess- that’s for being the best godmother in the world?” I ask.

“You said it!” Stuart laughs as we head down to his car and back to the hospital, where the newest member of the ‘Angel family’ awaits us.

When we arrive at the hospital, our arms full of presents, Dan escorts Stuart and I- along with Krystie and Paul- directly into the bright, clean hospital room, where Mary is sat upright in bed, cradling in her arms the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.

“Oh, Mary!” Krystie squeaks, immediately bursting into tears at the sight of the infant girl. Visibly too tired to even speak, Mary simply giggles as Krystie and I sit down next to her and her daughter.

“She’s beautiful,” I blub between my own floods of tears.

“She is,” Mary whispers in a hoarse voice. I look back at the boys, and am almost shocked when I see Stuart wipe away a solitary tear of his own.

“Come on, BOYS!” Krystie admonishes the two men, who come and sit down in the spare seats next to us.

“Kristina-Leigh, these two people are men,” Krystie says in a soft, child-friendly voice. “As you grow up you’ll discover that with the possible exception of your daddy, they’re all completely useless, but can be fun to be around anyway.”

“Once you’re eighteen!” Mary whispers to her newborn, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. “I would offer to let you hold her, but… god, this sounds so lame… I really don’t want to put her down!”

“I’ve barely had a chance to hold her yet!” Dan jokes, sitting on the bed next to his wife.

“Have you had a photo taken yet?” Paul asks, getting out his camera.

“Not yet,” Mary says. “The exclusive’s all yours!” Paul laughs happily as he takes a photograph of the 3 Carters.

“Now one with all the godparents!” Mary says happily, before shouting outside her room. “Dad, can you take a photo?”

“Of course!” Mr Logan says, hurrying into the room to take the photograph of all seven of us. “Right. Grandparents next!”

“Took the words out of my mouth,” Dan chuckles as we godparents (minus Paul, the cameraman) are ushered out of the cramped room to make way for Mary’s and Dan’s parents. Once the photos are complete, we’re ushered back in to find Dan holding his daughter and Mary laid back in her bed.

“When will you be back on your feet?” Krystie asks.

“Gonna be a couple of weeks,” Mary sighs. “Doctors say I can go home on Monday morning, can’t wait to show Kristina-Leigh her new nursery!”

“That I spent the last 6 weeks building!” Dan interjects.

“Well I was hardly gonna build it, was I?” Mary asks with a laugh, taking her daughter back from her husband. “God, I’ve gotta start shifting all this baby weight now… Not to mention breastfeeding…”

“Whoa,” Paul says, averting his eyes.

“Wuss!” Krystie laughs, giving her ex-boyfriend a playful elbow in the ribs.

“Anything you need, anything at all, call on us day or night,” I offer, my fellow godparents immediately concurring.

“She’s so lucky to have the best honorary aunts and uncles in the world,” Dan says, smiling at the tiny girl.

“AND the best parents in the world!” Krystie says, shifting up next to Mary, who immediately rolls her eyes upon sensing what her best friend REALLY wants.

“Oh, go on then,” Mary giggles, handing Kristina-Leigh to Krystie. “Just make sure you support her head! And don’t hold her too tight!”

“I’ve got two little brothers!” Krystie laughs. “Not to mention loads of cousins… None of them were as beautiful as this little girl!” After giggling in the infant girl’s face, Krystie then hands her to me.

“I’ve got no younger siblings or cousins,” I explain as I nervously cradle Kristina-Leigh in my arms. “So feel free to boss me around!”

“You’re doing fine,” Mary says with a warm smile as I gently kiss the tiny baby’s forehead.

“God, you are just the sweetest thing, aren’t you?” I ask the gently squirming infant. “You’ve got such a wonderful life ahead of you, with wonderful parents and honorary aunts and uncles who’ll do ANYTHING for you…”

“And godmothers and godfathers,” Stuart says, gently taking Kristina-Leigh from my arms and cradling her with relaxed ease. After Paul has a turn holding Kristina-Leigh, the infant girl is handed back to her waiting mother.

“You know,” Mary muses, “when I first got pregnant, I thought that’d be it, my life ruined, my career in tatters… But looking at her now, I’d happily give it all up for her.”

“Lucky for you, you don’t have to,” I say, making Mary laugh quietly. “Speaking of career… There’s kinda been a camera crew out there for the past 24 hours…”

“Joshua?” Mary sighs.

“Yep,” I reply, nodding along with the rest of the room.

“Send them in then,” Mary laughs.

“You can tell she’s gonna be a superstar,” Krystie laughs as we clear out of the room. “First TV appearance and she’s not even a day old!”

With the camera crew and Kristina-Leigh’s grandparents occupying the hospital room, Stuart and I decide to head home, still feeling tired after the long night and short rest. After dilating again, I pull my thin leotard back on and climb under my lightweight bed sheets, falling asleep almost as my head hits the pillow. I wake up a few hours later to find Stuart’s arms wrapped around my tiny waist, his fingers groggily playing with the stretchy material covering my body.

“Hey,” I say, giving the slumbering young man a gentle kiss. “Wake up…”

“I’m awake,” Stuart complains, returning my kiss. “What time is it?”

“Just after 4pm,” I reply, unwrapping myself from Stuart’s embrace and pulling my dress and shoes back on. “We should probably get back to the hospital.”

“Oh come on,” Stuart laughs. “We’ve got 18 years to fuss over Kristina-Leigh…”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “ONLY 18 years. So the sooner we get started, the better!”

“God, I feel so grown-up,” Stuart chuckles. “Thought it was bad enough when Emma and Lee got engaged last month, now we’ve got babies popping out all over the place…”

“One baby hardly constitutes ‘all over the place’,” I giggle.

“Yeah, but you know she won’t be the last,” Stuart says as we head off in his car. “Only question is: which Angel will be next to be a mother?” I can’t help but muse over Stuart’s words as we head into the busy city: he is of course correct, our ‘gang of girls’ has become a ‘gang of women’ almost overnight. Nothing will ever be the same any more, and yet, as I think back to the angelic face of the baby I held in my arms, I can’t help but feel that things have changed for the better.

When we return to the hospital, we’re unsurprised to find paparazzi camped outside, whom we smile and wave for as we head into the reception.

“Would it not have been polite to tell them that Mary won’t be discharged until Monday?” Stuart asks.

“They’re fine,” I giggle as we greet the assembled masses- Charlotte, Hannah, Krystie and Nikki are all present, as are Keith and Nikki’s girlfriend.

“Seen her yet?” I ask my BFF, who squeaks excitedly in response.

“She is just the most beautiful thing EVER!” Charlotte enthuses. “Kinda wish I had one of my own…”

“Nah, you don’t,” Keith says, giving his girlfriend a gentle kiss. “Not yet anyway.”

“Ah shit,” Stuart whispers, gripping my hand tighter. “What’s HE doing here?”

“Who?” I ask, looking around and groaning as my eyes meet the black eye of Paul Gould. Almost immediately, Paul walks over to our little group.

“Hi Jamie,” Paul says, looking warily down at Stuart. “Hi Keith, Charlotte, long time no see!”

“Paul,” Keith says stoically, shaking Paul’s hand.

“Just thought I’d come to give the baby this,” Paul says, pulling a small pink teddy bear out of the carrier bag he was carrying. “How’s Mary doing?”

“The woman you exchanged maybe 20 words with in the 16 months we were going out?” I ask smugly. “She’s fine.”

“Doesn’t mean we’re not friends,” Paul shrugs.

“Yeah, it kinda does,” Keith says.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, then,” Paul corrects himself. “And besides, I still keep in touch with Dan.”

“Um, he didn’t invite you to his wedding, did he?” Stuart asks, provoking an angry glare from Paul.

“Just-“ Charlotte says, silencing everyone. “Just go and give your gift, say hi to Dan and Mary, then it’d be best if you left.”

“Supposing I want to stick around a while longer?” Paul asks.

“I STRONGLY recommend you don’t,” Keith says threateningly. Keeping his eyes locked on Stuart- despite Keith being the one who issued the threat- Paul walks off in the direction of Mary’s room. Almost immediately, I can feel Stuart’s hand begin to tremble in mine.

“Ah crap,” Stuart sighs, taking a deep breath and sitting down in one of the hospital chairs.

“Don’t see why you’re so tense mate,” Keith says, sitting down next to Stuart. “You’re the one who gave him that beauty!”

“Yeah, not my finest hour that,” Stuart mumbles.

“You think I DIDN’T want to pummel him at least once?” Keith laughs. “I had 16 months of the twat!”

“Oh, you got on at times,” I laugh, Charlotte backing me up with a nod.

“Okay, he wasn’t all bad,” Keith sighs.

“I’m better though, right?” Stuart asks me with an expectant pout.

“Yes,” I mock-sigh, giggling as I give Stuart a big hug. “MUCH better!”

After spending the evening with the new family, Stuart and I head to a nearby restaurant for some dinner. With me in my casual dress and Stuart in his jeans, we’re not exactly dressed for a date, but after the confrontations of the last few days, a date is precisely what we both need right about now.

“I’ve got to admit,” Stuart says as he holds out my chair for me, “this has probably been the most hectic few days of my life!”

“Tell me about it,” I giggle. “I mean, I’ve had a few mad weeks in the past, but this is up there with the maddest of them.”

“I’m just glad,” Stuart says, gently squeezing my hand, “that I’m sharing the madness with you.”

“To the madness!” I say, raising my empty wine glass in a toast.

“To the madness!” Stuart laughs, clinking his empty wine glass against mine, much to the bemusement of the other diners.

An hour later, with our bellies full of food and our mouths full of laughter- despite me only having one glass of wine and Stuart not drinking ANY alcohol- we head home, where I dilate one final time before climbing under my bed sheets, cuddling up against my sexy boyfriend.

“Mmm,” Stuart sighs contentedly. “I hope- I hope you’re not expecting sex tonight, I’m utterly knackered…”

“Same here,” I sigh. “Get some sleep, gorgeous!” Stuart giggles and gives me a long, soft kiss before turning out the light. Needless to say, both of us are asleep within seconds.

I wake up the following morning to discover Stuart already up and dressed, much to my disappointment.

“Morning babe,” Stuart says, leaning in and giving me another long kiss. “I told you I’m out with the family all day, right?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Remind me again why I, as your girlfriend, was not invited?”

“Because my dad’s got a very old-fashioned view of ‘family’,” Stuart replies. “Lee’s not even going and he and Emma are getting married in a few months, Riley’s not going either, then again dad’s never been the biggest fan of him!”

“God help Kristina-Leigh’s first boyfriend,” I chuckle.

“Or girlfriend,” Stuart says with a knowing smile. “Keep an open mind, MISS Burke…”

“Of course, MISTER Milton…” I chuckle as Stuart gives me a goodbye kiss. “See you tomorrow at ballet.”

After Stuart leaves, I dilate and shower, before dressing in a comfortable cotton bra and panty set, followed by a long pink t-shirt dress and a pair of high wedges. I actually find I miss wearing higher heels when I’m with Stuart- he’s only 2 inches taller than me, so if I wear heels or wedges higher than 4” I tend to overshadow him! Before I leave the house, I check my iPad for any new notifications, and roll my eyes when I see a new message on it from Paul Gould.

‘hey,’ the message reads. ‘Sorry I was an arse at the hospital, I was genuinely there to see Dan & Mary, didn’t even know if you’d be there.’

‘S’OK,’ I type in response. ‘Probably best if we co-ordinate so you don’t run into Stuart again!’

‘Yeah,’ Paul replies before I have a chance to close down the messaging app. ‘God knows I’m getting the piss taken out of me for being beaten up by a man who used to be a woman…’

‘More piss than for going out with a woman who used to be a man?’ I type. I actually pause before sending the message- Paul’s endured a lot of shit this weekend, after all- but what I typed is far from unfair. I hit send, and await his inevitable response.

‘I clearly need better friends,’ comes Paul’s response, making me giggle. ‘You heading to the hospital today?’

‘Yeah, just on my way there now, actually,’ I type. ‘Stuart’s not coming as he’s out with his family all day.’

‘His parents don’t consider you family?’ Paul replies. ‘God knows my parents loved you… well, more than your parents loved me, at any rate…’

‘Lol,’ I reply. ‘g2g now, but talk soon, okay?’

‘Sure,’ Paul replies before I click off my iPad and head out to my car, smiling happily as I drive to the hospital.

As I arrive at the hospital, the sight of a very expensive silver Mercedes-Benz in the car park puts a devilish idea in my head, and when I see the owner of the posh car in the hospital reception, I can’t help but put my idea into action.

“Joshua Benedict!” I boom in my best impersonation of the man himself, making both he and his wife turn around with wide grins on their faces.

“Jamie-Lee Burke!” Joshua yells back between giggles. “Here to see the little bundle of joy?”

“Of course!” I reply. “And she really is… I can’t believe how beautiful she is! I thought all newborns were supposed to look like Winston Churchill!”

“As if the baby of an Angel would be anything other than heavenly!” Joshua chuckles, before sighing. “I know I shouldn’t be so selfish but I kinda wished Mary would’ve waited a few years before having children.”

“For the show?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Joshua replies. “I marketed it as six young girls enjoying life, when the reality is that you’re six young women, all grown up. I love all six of you like you were my own daughters, but… I kinda wish I had some younger models to market as, say, a new Angel group. Models who were around 18 or 19, who aren’t growing up so fast!”

“Understandable,” I say. “Can’t be sexy models if we’re rushing home to change nappies every few hours. Though your wish for a teen model will come true, if you wait about 17 or 18 years!” Joshua bursts out laughing at my quip.

“I doubt Dan would let me promote Kristina-Leigh,” Joshua replies. “It’s even less likely that Judith will allow me to still be working in 18 years’ time!”

“18 MONTHS is pushing it,” Joshua’s middle-aged wife confirms.

“Oh, now,” Joshua says with his trademark grin. “Are the millions I’ve made over the last few years not enough?”

“YES,” Judith says firmly. “Hence why you need to start thinking about your retirement!”

“I’m fifty-three, I’m hardly geriatric!” Joshua complains. I giggle as Joshua and Judith have possibly the most playful argument of all time- she’s clearly as besotted with him as he is with her. I genuinely, genuinely hope that in thirty years’ time, I have a relationship as happy and loving as theirs- and I also wish I was 100% certain who I want that relationship with.

After spending over an hour fussing over my goddaughter and her mother (whose strength has returned REALLY quickly), I exit the hospital and almost literally run into Nikki and Sarah heading into it.

“Hey girls,” I say happily. “Here to see Mary?”

“Of course!” Nikki says with a smile. “Would you believe Sarah’s never actually met her?”

“Her bark is worse than her bite,” I say to Nikki’s girlfriend, who giggles in response.

“It’s so cool that Nikki gest to hang around with such awesome people,” Sarah gushes.

“AND gets paid for it,” I say, making the teenaged T-girl roll her eyes.

“It’s Sunday! It’s my day off!” Nikki complains. “I won’t be putting this on my timesheet, honest!”

“I believe you,” I say, giggling with the two teenagers. “Go and get your baby cuddles!” Nikki and Sarah both giggle harder, waving goodbye to me as they head into the vast building. In a way, I can’t help but envy them. It may sound egotistical, but Sarah’s right when she says how lucky Nikki is that she gets to hang out with the Angels (though in fairness, she does work REALLY hard). When I was 17 I was living in poverty with no job, no friends and no idea what to do with my life. Nikki and Sarah clearly have everything all sorted out, AND are young enough to enjoy all their life to come.

I spend the rest of the day at home, updating my blog and YouTube channel, responding to messages and writing my magazine columns- all things I’ve barely had a chance to do the past few days! I eventually climb into bed at 10pm after a final dilating session, checking my phone once I’m under the covers to discover messages from both Paul AND Stuart.

‘Hey, hope you had fun with Kristina-Leigh today,’ Paul’s message reads.

‘Hey, missing you loads, hope you gave my love to our goddaughter!’ Stuart’s message reads. Smiling happily, I send off quick replies to both messages before getting my head down on my pillow and drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

My alarm wakes me the following morning at 7:30am, and after dilating, showering and applying a moderate layer of make-up, I giggle excitedly as I pull a pair of soft pink tights over my legs, following up with a tight black tank leotard, a loose summer dress and my canvas ballet slippers before grabbing my dance bag and heading down to my car. Three months from my operation doesn’t just mean I can have sex, it also means I can finally rejoin my friends for our regular Monday ballet lessons, and not a moment too soon! My mobility isn’t back to what it was before my operation, but I’m at about 98%, and that’s more than enough to dance a few steps, even en pointe.

When I pull up outside the dance studio, I’m unsurprised to find Hannah’s car parked outside, with the tall girl and her dark-haired BFF waiting for me inside in their skimpy dance gear.

“Heyyy,” I say, greeting Viks with a hug. “I’ve hardly seen you the last few days!”

“Sorry,” Viks grimaces. “Ever since I graduated my family have been holding me hostage, panicking that I’m gonna move out at a moment’s notice!”

“You’re 21, if you want to move out, that’s your decision and their problem if they’re not okay with it!” Hannah jokes.

“You’ve known my dad for ten years!” Viks retorts. “You know that’s easier said than done!”

“And they’ve still got your little brothers living at home,” Hannah says.

“Yeah, but I’m still the only girl,” Viks sighs. “If it was up to dad I’d be wrapped in cotton wool for the rest of my life…”

“If it makes you feel any better,” I say, “you’re not the only Angel who still lives with her parents, and that’s not gonna change for a long while!”

“Aww,” Charlotte pouts, having silently made her way into the reception area. Sensing that I’ve made a faux pas, I give my BFF a long, tight hug.

“Guess I’m not sleeping at my parents’ tonight,” I laugh, making Charlotte hug me again. Our ‘gang’ is soon joined by Nikki and Sarah- both wearing street clothes as neither girl can dance en pointe yet, so they’ll be watching the ‘lesson’- and Becca and Adeola in their dancewear, escorted by my boyfriend.

“Hey sexy,” I whisper, giving Stuart a long kiss. “Missed you yesterday. ESPECIALLY last night!” Stuart giggles, though from the way he’s fidgeting, I can tell he’s uncomfortable.

"I talked to Joshua yesterday," I continue. "The whole 'punchgate' thing's pretty much blown over already. Babies make the world better!"

"Good," Stuart replies with an awkward smile. "And yes, yes they do!"

“Are you okay?” I ask as Stuart’s shoulders continue to fidget.

“I’m fine, honestly,” my boyfriend replies, giving me another soft kiss. “I’ll tell you when we get home. Well… More ‘show’ you then ‘tell’ you.”

“Ooh, ‘show and tell’,” I joke. “Sexy!”

“You’ll see,” Stuart says, taking a seat next to Sarah and Nikki whilst Krystie ties my bun and gets the ‘lesson’ started. After 40 minutes, I- along with the other five ‘students’- exchange my soft ballet slippers for my pointe shoes, and as soon as I start running through the pointe exercises it’s like I’d never taken a break from dancing. At the end of the lesson, I even dance a brief 2-minute routine en pointe, much to the delight of the assembled crowd!

Once the lesson ends, I pull my dress back on over my leotard and put my beloved pointe shoes back in their bag, slipping on a pair of black ballet flats instead. We’re just about to leave the studio when we’re treated to the most pleasant surprise imaginable.

“Yoo-hoo!” A familiar Northern Irish voice calls from reception. “Anyone home?” Giggling happily, Krystie opens the studio door, allowing Mary (who’s still somewhat unsteady on her feet), Dan and Kristina-Leigh- asleep in her father’s arms- into the cavernous room. After everyone gives Mary a hug, they- myself included- immediately head over to the sleeping baby, making as big a fuss as possible out of the tiny girl.

“She’s so beautiful!” Becca coos, almost bouncing up and down with happiness.

“Thank god she gets her looks from her mother,” Dan jokes, handing Kristina-Leigh to Mary.

“Nah,” Mary says. “She’s got all her dad’s best features!”

“Take a good look at this room, Kristina-Leigh,” Krystie jokes. “This is where you’re going to be spending a lot of your life becoming the most beautiful ballerina of all time, just like your mum!”

“God, I can’t wait to get back to dancing,” Mary sighs.

“I can’t wait to get this precious little one in my toddler class,” Krystie jokes. “Especially on mother and daughter day!” Mary laughs, inadvertently waking her daughter, who makes a babyish grunt that melts the hearts of everyone present- even the boys.

“Think she’s hungry,” Mary says. “We’d better get her home- haven’t even been there yet, we came straight from the hospital!”

“You go,” Krystie says with a laugh. “We’ll be pestering you with babysitting offers night and day, right girls?”

“Right!” Everyone says excitedly, following the new family out onto the street and into their cars. I give Stuart a long kiss as I slide into the passenger seat of his car- much to the disgust of Becca and Adeola on the back seat!

“Get a room!” Stuart’s little sister laughs.

“You really want that mental image?” I retort.

“Ugh, no thanks,” Becca spits.

“Now you know how I feel every time I see you and Riley,” Stuart retorts.

“Yeah, well that’s teenage love,” Becca says. “You’re, like, grown-up love.”

“I’m 22 and your brother’s 24,” I say. “We’re hardly geriatric!”

“It’s still old from where I’m sitting!” Becca giggles. And, much as I hate to admit it, she does have a point, a point that’s been repeatedly made over the course of the past week. Even though I still live with my parents, even though I’m still wearing a ballet uniform, even though when I get home I’ll probably play on my Xbox, I AM older and mature… And lucky in that I enjoy all the responsibilities- like that of godmother- that are coming my way.

…And I’m especially lucky that I have someone to share these responsibilities with, as Stuart reminds me when we arrive at Charlotte’s house by grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs to my bedroom.

“Okay,” I say, “what’s this big ‘thing’ you need to show me?” Stuart smiles an embarrassed smile as he strips off his jeans and his t-shirts to reveal opaque black tights, a sleeveless white leotard… and a MASSIVE bulge in his crotch.

“Oh my god!” I giggle as Stuart assumes a masculine ballet pose. I quickly strip out of my dress and tie my pointe shoes to my feet, performing a few steps of my own, much to Stuart’s delight.

“Here I was thinking you’d never wear women’s clothing again,” I giggle, rising en pointe and wrapping my arms around Stuart’s neck.

“That’s why this is all male ballet clothing,” Stuart explains. “Men’s tights and a man’s leotard, contradiction in terms that that is.”

“You know, leotards were originally men’s clothing, they were named after that French guy?” I say, feeling smug about my superior knowledge.

“Yeah, but not the one you’re wearing!” Stuart laughs. “You know I actually used to do ballet? I quit when I was 10, for obvious reasons.”

“I would say ‘I bet you looked cute in your uniform’,” I giggle, “but I know that wouldn’t go down well, and you couldn’t possibly have looked as cute as you look now!” I give Stuart a long kiss on his lips. “Did your ballet-teaching ex-girlfriend know this about you?”

“It… kinda… never came up,” Stuart laughs, returning my kiss.

“Speaking of coming up,” I ask, playfully grabbing Stuart’s bulge, “what, pray tell, is this?”

“Men’s socks,” Stuart says, laughing as he grabs my hips and lifts me above his head. I laugh hard as he spins me around, before lowering me onto his body, which I eagerly wrap my slender legs around. I kiss Stuart long, and deep, and it’s not long before our leotards and our tights are on a pile on the floor and we’re underneath my bed sheets, tightly locked in a passionate embrace.

Yeah, I may be a grown-up, but like the old saying goes: You’re only as old- or as young- as you feel.