Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2628

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2628
by Angharad

Copyright© 2015 Angharad

  
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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Phoebe eventually went off leaving me feeling totally shattered. She was at risk of breast cancer but what happened depended upon what she did about it. If she had regular exams, it reduced the risk dramatically. She needed to have children then think about possibly have oophorectomies and hysterectomies and breast removal and reconstruction; based upon risk. I got the impression that she had quite a few years to decide upon having children and so on, but first she had to meet someone she wanted to spend her life with and at seventeen, it’s a bit premature in my mind but I might just be old fashioned.

Simon asked me what was going on but I told him I was too tired to discuss it and went to bed. He followed me asking again what was going on with Phoebe and as he was nominally her other parent, I told him. Initially he was alarmed by the news of the cancer gene, which was why I didn’t want to talk about it. He did calm down when I told him, it wasn’t an immediate problem.

He eventually allowed me to go to sleep after I stopped responding to his questions by pretending to already be asleep. I didn’t sleep that well because I kept seeing Phoebe anguishing about her possible cancer risk. Ironically, she told me she slept really well after our session together. Simon also slept like a corpse, barely moving until he woke which was about the time I was going off to sleep. I managed two hours before Messrs Humphrys and Naughtie woke me talking about earthquakes in Nepal and the election. A silly thought went through my mind, China being a one party state, doesn’t have elections just erections—I did say it was silly.

I began to think that elections here were becoming as crazy as they were in America with huge amounts of money spent before electioneering proper began. We’ve had nearly a year of the phony election now it’s the real thing, and d’you know what? I can’t tell the difference except Dave the chameleon wears a blue tie more often.

I emerged from the shower, the death toll in Nepal was rising—given the poverty there, it’s hardly surprising plus it will take days to get to remote communities who may have been decimated.

After dressing, I roused the girls and waited to help with their hair only to be told they’d do each others. I warned them no silliness and went to start breakfast. They arrived half an hour later each with hair in plaits. As it was quite well done I allowed it. Seeing Danni with plaited hair surprised me, but it was obviously long enough to do, showing how much it had grown in the previous eighteen months with help from oestrogen. Her hair wasn’t the only thing that was growing. She was about half an inch taller, but her body was developing in a very curvaceous manner, her hips broadening as her waist shrank—and she eats like horse.

Phoebe came down and hugged me, thanking me for listening to her the night before. She thought she had things in perspective now and for the moment was going to concentrate on developing the business with Julie—who looked relieved to hear it.

The two of them went off in Julie’s Smart car and ten minutes later I stuffed the car full of schoolgirls and we left for St Claire’s. Sister Maria grabbed me and asked if I was okay because I didn’t look so good. I checked in my compact mirror and certainly, I had dark rings under my eyes. Alas I had too much to do in my office to be able to go back to bed.

Delia met me with two newspaper articles she’d seen, one on Bruce Jenner telling the world he was a woman—seeing as we’ve known about it for months, I ignored it. The second was some awful story about a transsexual woman who was beaten up by police who also cut her hair off. The pictures showed her before and after, the contrast was enough to make you want to heave. No one deserves to be beaten like that. The full body pictures of her in a bra and thong outfit were a bit OTT, tending to suggest she’d had more plastic surgery than Sylvester Stallone’s mother as she resembled an almost caricature of an extreme female body-shape with tiny liposuctioned waist and huge implant assisted hips and bum matching the extravagant breasts and enhanced lips.

It reminded me that in South America women save for plastic surgery from puberty to enhance this or reduce that, spending thousands of pounds every year to have various bits altered to meet stereotypes of how sexy women should look. I found it frightening as well as sad verging on pathetic. What happens to the women who can’t afford the surgery or don’t want it for whatever reason? Are they left on the sidelines in the boyfriend or husband stakes? It seems like an epidemic is happening worldwide with young women all over the world feeling they have to conform to one or two basic shaped patterns to be seen as desirable, either voluptuous or stick insect thin. Crazy as most women are in between the two, which includes me.

I’ve never understood why supermodels are six feet two and built like bean poles when most women are about five feet five or six and a size twelve or fourteen. They have very little in common at all, mind you neither do the clothes they model as far as the high street is concerned. There, at the top end, if the Duchess of Cambridge is seen wearing something from a chain store, they’re sold out in minutes.

Delia appeared with coffee and an armful of papers to read or sign. “What did you think of the stories?” she asked me.

“They were both outrageous in their own way, but the one seemed full of the privileged classes being able to do what they want—tell that to the black transgendered sex workers in the red light districts of New York or Chicago, many of whom will never live to save enough for SRS because disease or violence is likely to get them first, or their drug habits.

“The other was outrageous insofar as it showed what happens when you have too much power vested in the forces of oppression as they believe they can get away with it. The same is true in places like Afghanistan or other fundamentalist countries.”

“Oh okay, I suppose that’s what happens when you ask a professor a simple question, you get an exposition.”

“Serves you right.”

“I have another.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Can I come dormouse counting with you when the season starts?”

That caught me unawares. It’s meant to be for undergraduates to give them a chance to participate in a field survey, but we do relax it to allow interested others to help including my own children at times.

“Um, yeah course you can. Tell Graham, he’s doing most of the organising.”

“Cool, I will—and thank you.”

“What for?”

“Letting me participate.”

“You work here, so why not? I’m sure it’s covered in the constitution for equal rights for all.”

“I can’t wait to tell my mum I saw a dormouse in the wild.”

“If I’m on the survey, you’ll get a chance to do more than see one, you’ll have a chance to handle one as well.”

“Oh wow, that is like totally fab.”

“If only everyone were so easily pleased.”

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Comments

Angharad, I wonder if you

have handled a dormouse? There is something about small furry animals (mostly harmless types) that people find attractive. I mention mostly harmless because cats are in that mix for the most part. But bunnies, squirrels, and certain mice will get an Ohhh! of appreciation from those who enjoy such things, mostly woman and children.

I have handled

Angharad's picture

quite a few adult and some baby dormice, being part of the Somerset Dormouse Group.

Angharad

When i was young

yes i can remember that far back !, We were once given the dubious honour of looking after the schools gerbil, Quite why the school had one i'm not too sure , But have one they did , Cute little thing but like most very small animals frightened of its own shadow, One afternoon however it managed to escape , Cue three children trying desperately to catch the small wee thing , Eventually we did succeed in getting it back to the safety of its cage and much to our relief it showed no ill effects from its twenty minutes of freedom...

Good to see Phoebe has managed to get her head into some sort of shape, I doubt though this is the last we will hear of the cancer, A worry such as that will not disappear totally overnight...

Kirri

Re Gerbils

Ah Kirri ! Way back in the age before the Flood, when I was an undergraduate student, we used Gerbils to stop a war and we had a minor revolution. The then governments of both the UK and France decided to invade Egypt, because the Egyptian government nationalised the Suez Canal when the lease given to the Anglo-French Suez Canal Company Ltd had finally expired and they felt it should revert to them rather than be renewed, as it was a money earner and they needed the money. The Shareholders of that Company felt that they were entitled to milk that poor African country for ever. Worse still, back then both France and the UK had armies that they filled with Conscripts, rather than with boys who actually wanted to go and fight in wars - Slave Soldiers, in other words. Us students in both countries resolved to stop it, and in the UK we resolved to make the country ungovernable, until they withdrew. We did all sorts of things to stop it, including sabotaging the Army trucks as they went to the docks to be loaded onto ships that would take them to Egypt, by putting sugar in the petrol tanks, which caused the engines to sieze up, and by blocking the streets in London, and phoning the private telephone lines of all members of the government all hours of day and night till they were so tired they had bags under their eyes and could not speak properly anymore. We had fake bombs planted in all the London terminal railway stations and under the bridges over the Thames and in important buildings... The Stock Exchange closed and all the City people were running this way and that trying to escape the chaos.

We made one Rule for us all, that nobody must get hurt - if we started to harm people we would lose any moral high ground and be just a bunch of crooks like the politicians were. I was only an undergraduate reading Zoology at the time, and we were organized on Anarchic lines, with no Leaders and in small "cells" who only knew members of our cell and not those in others, so if caught we could not tell the police much about the whole movement. This was a very exciting time for us, and lots of fun. What finally finished the government off was when some naughty people took Gerbils into Whitehall on a Friday evening when the Civil Servants and all gone home and broke into the offices where all the tax records were kept. Filing cabinets were boken open and Gerbils put into them, with some food.... Gerbils love to make nests out of paper, and all the tax records soon (in a matter of seconds) were turned into shredded nest material and rendered impossible to read. The tax records being lost meant they would lose lots of unpaid taxes.

This it seemed was the Final Straw and it was announced that both armies would withdraw immediately, which they did. The Israeli army used the occupation of the Canal Zone to invade and capture the whole of the Sinai Penninsula, much of which they still hold to this day, giving them a Red Sea port and coastal strip,

Naturally, the French and British governments did not wish to admit that a bunch of students had beaten them, so it was given out that they were withdrawing under pressure from the UN and the USA. Egypt kept the Canal Zone and have run it quite well despite everything since.

Some of us wanted to carry on until we got a complete Revolution, but the exams were coming up soon and we would lose our grants if we failed so we went back to lectures and lab work and were satisfied that we had stopped a war and forced the Prime Minister to resign.

I kept some Gerbils, nice small furry animals who did not hurt people, for years after, though my favorite pets were woodlice, for whom I was thrown out of my digs because the Landlady, whose favorite phrase was "That will be extra!", would not understand the difference between Woodlice and Lice, so I went into a squat much nearer the College, and when the Owner wanted it torn down to make room for an Office Block, I moved a few times before ending up living with 3 boys from Yorkshire in a flat in Highbury.

Reading your lovely account about the Gerbils plus the farce of the recent election in the UK reminded me of this time in my life and of how useful Gerbils can be ! Is it not high time the students of today did something to stop all the nonsense of the politicians, who in the years since then have only gotten worse than they were then, imho. ? Look at all the wars we have made for no good reason since back then. The only improvement is that we now use only volunteers to be soldiers, to go and kill and get killed, mainly to satisfy the egos of Politicians.

Briar

Cuddly politicians?

Rhona McCloud's picture

When young I had a hamster which much to my delight promptly had babies. A little later I came back from school to find they were all gone bar one which my father explained bit him badly when he tried to get it out of the cage. Was this evolution in action as the remaining hamster was definitely not cuddly.

Writing this I remember my father told me he took the other hamsters back to the pet shop but in what? I still had the cage! Oh no I'm feeling a little ‘flushed’

During election run ups I’ve heard politicians trying to persuade me that we are of the same species. I have my doubts as their words suggest they do not see me as their equal but if sincere in their belief I think I should accept them as such and suggest they try living a life more like mine.

I'm surprised that Delia asked Cathy about transgender issues as, in my experience, that is the last topic those who know my past would raise. Thank goodness for BC.

Rhona McCloud

my my you are a judgemental one today ms dormouse lady

Well as to alternative views:

a) For some women, who are apple shaped, like me, being a bean pole is better then the natural fat belly mother nature gifted to me from my parents, any time I even gain two pounds. Seriously.
b) If you want SRS, then be patient and save your money or work for a company that has insurance for it. I wound up doing it at age 39, 16 years after I went full time only on hormones. Yes the sex trade sucks, trans or not, but nobody says you have to be in it, not that sex workers deserved to be killed, of course!
c) Not everyone has to have children, the world is overteeming with them. If Phoebe does not want one then it is her choice. Consider also that she is passing that gene onto her children. I have a genetic woman boss who considered having kids but she did not want to have them for her own reasons even though she occasionally she found herself wanting one. She decided if she wanted something to hold, cuddle and care for, she'll get a cat.

Cathy needs to get off of her occasional internal rants. Seriously, she is better than that.

Yes Cathy sometimes rants but…

Rhona McCloud's picture

… so do we all Guest Reader. It's part of being human; trying but always falling short of maintaining impossible ideals. When Cathy, her family and friends annoy me I remember that without that very human characteristic Bike would have been about 2600 episodes shorter.

Rhona McCloud

Really glad that Phoebe has

Really glad that Phoebe has settled down and is slowing getting past the shock of knowing about her cancer gene. It will just take time, and as Cathy told her, she will be watching over her, which is a huge plus in my book.
I LOVE cuddly things; but one school I attended in the 3rd grade, had as their school mascot, a Gila Monster (poisonous lizard that can reach 8 inches and occasionally one will exceed to a foot in length, but rarely) from the South Western part of the U.S.
We were stationed and living in Tucson, Arizona at the time. I only remember it, because my Mom took a picture of me standing by it in its cage as something to remember before we were sent to Alaska Territory.
In Oklahoma, we had "Horned Toads" (lizards, and how they got the name is beyond me as they are not toads like you see that look like frogs), running around all over the place, and kids would capture them and try to make them pets. Eeew and Ugg!
Would much rather being out seeing Dormice that's for sure. Or rabbits, but they can bite when they want to. Some friends of mine have Ferrets and they are rather nice to hold and love to play around you once they warm up to you.
I used to tell other kids when they asked me what my pet was, that it was a potato on a string and it was very hard to take it for a walk as it seemed to always want to just lay down and sleep. :)
Janice (okay I am sorry for that last line) hee hee.