Nikki, part 10

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“Should anyone here present know of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony,” the vicar says with a warm, happy smile, “speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Sarah and I- both dressed in identical, beautiful wedding dresses, our hair tied into elaborate matching hairdos and our make-up immaculately applied, stare at each other and smile, but almost immediately, the silence in the church is broken.

“She loves me!!” A voice calls from the back of the church. “She loves me!!” Sarah and I both turn to see Dannii- dressed in another identical wedding dress- sprint up the aisle as the rest of the world freezes in place…

I slowly open my eyes to the gloom of my darkened bedroom. My bed sheets are wrapped around me and my nightdress has become twisted through my tossing and turning.

“Ugh,” I moan. “This NEEDS to stop…”

I eventually get up just over an hour later, having not been able to get back to sleep, and I jump under the shower, letting the warm water cleanse my tired body. As I dry myself off, I muse on how much things have changed for me in such a short space of time.

Physically, I’m starting to notice real changes to my body. My breasts have been the biggest change- I’m now near as makes no difference an A cup, and can produce credible cleavage even without having to resort to falsies (which I still wear most days, just to give me additional ‘shape). My hips and bum have noticeably widened, whilst my waist has shrunk. My hair is now long and luxurious, though this is more due to me taking special care of it than the hormones I’ve been taking, and my skin is baby soft and smooth. Mentally, it’s like I’ve always been ‘chemically’ female. My whole mind feels more… Stabilised, for want of a better word. At the start of my journey, I would have occasional doubts over whether or not this was what I truly wanted- those doubts no longer exist.

My family have continued to be by greatest source of support. Ever since our reconciliation at Christmas, my (maternal) grandparents have been open and loving, just as they were when I was a boy. I drop round to see them every Sunday, and they’ve promised me an extra-special treat for my 17th birthday next month, which I can hardly wait for! Sadly, my paternal grandparents aren’t quite as accepting of me yet- though I have hopes (as do my parents) that they’ll eventually see sense and end this feud. I know for a fact that dad is taking the falling out with his parents especially hard, though he repeatedly insists that his relationship with me is far more important than his relationship with his own mother and father.

That’s not to say I don’t occasionally fall out with my parents- same as any teenaged girl- but I’m forever being reminded of just how much they’ve done and how much they’ve sacrificed to help me on my journey. I’m eternally grateful for their support, but what I’m most grateful for in my life is Sarah.

Whilst she didn’t share my bed tonight, we’ve been sleeping together more and more frequently over the past few weeks, getting more and more adventurous with our sexual exploits as the oestrogen neutralises my ‘boy parts’. We spend virtually every waking moment together as well, both at college and at home. Whilst I’ve been struggling with my studies- barely scraping passes for some of my assignments- Sarah’s excelled, consistently getting the highest possible marks on her work. She’s expanded her online business as well, partnering with Lauren to produce more and more clothes for sale- and for the ‘New Angels’!

The five of us have grown even closer since Christmas. Lauren spends almost as much time with Sarah as I do (spending most of their time working, fortunately) and Katie and I have formed an efficient working partnership as well, even if her grades are far higher than mine! We didn’t get to have the ‘Strictly’ themed party for Katie's birthday in January- instead opting for a ‘Manchester United’ theme (Katie’s a fanatical supporter of theirs) so that Sarah & Lauren wouldn’t have to spend ages making costumes. This, of course, earned Katie some teasing for having such a ‘boyish’ theme for her party, not least from Dannii.

Ah yes, Dannii, the unofficial ‘leader’ of the ‘New Angels’. Since Christmas she’s been spending as much time with the girls- or as she says, ‘girlies’- as possible. She actually dumped her long-suffering boyfriend a few weeks ago after he complained about the amount of time she was spending with us, and two weeks ago she shocked us all when she announced that she’d signed with the rapidly-expanding Joshua Benedict Talent Agency. She really is working very hard in her career, but at the same time has become increasingly diva-like in her attitude and behaviour, particularly toward me. Ever since her intensely personal secret Santa gift, Dannii has been more and more affectionate toward me, especially when we’re alone, which fortunately isn’t that often. I’m more convinced than ever that she has ‘feelings’ for me- and as much as I don’t think I feel the same about her, I don’t want to hurt Dannii by rejecting her, and I certainly don’t want to break apart the closest group of friends I’ve ever had…

After showering, I fix my make-up and nail polish, then pull on a padded bra and a matching pair of panties, followed by some black tights and a pair of charcoal grey shorts. I pull on a clingy black turtleneck and finish my look with a pair of heeled ankle booties, before grabbing my bag- packed with my camera and my college work- kissing both my parents goodbye, and heading out the door.

“Hi Nikki,” Sarah tiredly says to me as we meet outside the gates to the college. “Don’t kiss me, I’m all bunged up… Think I’m coming down with something.”

“Oh no,” I say, holding Sarah’s hands in lieu of a kiss. “Will you be okay for ballet tonight?”

“Doubt it,” Sarah mumbles, before coughing loudly. “Way I feel now, I don’t even know if I’ll be up for Friday…”

“Oh don’t say that!” I say. “It’s our first Valentine’s together as Nikki and Sarah, regardless of how you feel, I want to spend it with you!”

“I don’t want to pour germs down your throat,” Sarah sniffs.

“If they’re your germs, I don’t mind,” I giggle, kissing Sarah on the lips despite her illness. “See you at lunch?”

“Sure,” Sarah says, heading off to her class but coughing all the way there.

“Hey Nikki!” Katie says, greeting me with a quick hug as I sit down next to her. “What’s up?”

“Sarah’s sick,” I say sadly. “She might not be well for Friday…”

“Oh no,” Katie says. “And this is your first Valentine’s as girl and girl, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” I sigh. “Had something all special planned too… Anyway, how was ballet yesterday?”

“Same as always,” Katie giggles. “Dannii showing off, sucking up to Krystie and Viks… In fairness, she is a really, really talented dancer.”

“Yeah,” I say. “You know, I didn’t actually enjoy ballet at first, I only went along because Sarah was desperate to go. Either that or she was desperate to stalk the Angels, I dunno.”

“…And?” Katie asks.

“…And what?” I ask in reply.

“…And,” Katie says. “You said you didn’t enjoy ballet ‘at first’. Can I assume you do enjoy it now?”

“Well I am taking my first intermediate class tonight,” I say with a smug smile, making Katie grin and giggle happily.

“Oh my god, that’s so cool!” Katie laughs. “You’ll be en pointe before you know it!” We both giggle loudly as the class starts and we get down to work…

After hours of hard study, it’s a relief when we’re finally dismissed and allowed to head off to lunch, where Lauren and Dannii are waiting- but much to my dismay, Sarah isn’t.

“Hey Nikki,” Lauren says softly. “Sarah’s had to go home- she’s really, really sick. She told me to tell you that she definitely won’t be going to ballet tonight.”

“Okay,” I say, checking my phone to see if my girlfriend had left me a message whilst I was in class- and much to my surprise, she hasn’t.

“That sucks so much,” Dannii interjects. “Has she let Krys know?” Katie and I exchange a quick, knowing glance over Dannii’s supposed familiarity with our dance teacher.

“I’m sure she’ll call her,” I say.

“It was your first inter class as well,” Dannii continues. “I was SO looking forward to seeing photos of you in your white tights and your leotards…”

“Changing the subject,” Katie says, much to my relief, “what’s everyone doing for V-Day?”

“Spending most of the evening in Michael’s pants,” Lauren says, prompting a mass giggle from the table.

“Same here, only with Jason’s pants,” Katie giggles.

“I’m…” Dannii begins sadly. “Probably going to spend the evening with friends.”

“YOU’RE the one who dumped HIM,” Lauren reminds her best friend. “Don’t blame anyone else for you not getting laid!”

“I’m not, I’m not,” Dannii says defensively. “Besides, a hot, successful model like me can have any boy she wants!”

“Speaking of modelling,” I say, “when ARE you actually going to do any work for Mr. Benedict?”

“I’ve got two shoots lined up this week, actually,” Dannii smugly replies. “One fashion shoot, one for a new make-up company. I’d have done a shoot for a tights manufacturer as well, but because of some stupid law I can’t do underwear shoots until I’m eighteen…”

“Despite your legs being 41 inches long?” Lauren teases.

“If my crotch isn’t covered by trousers or a skirt, apparently it’s ‘indecent’,” Dannii spits. “I mean, how is that even remotely right? I can have sex at sixteen, but I can’t flaunt my sexuality until I’m eighteen?”

“You’ll just have to hurry up and turn eighteen then, won’t you?” I say, making Dannii giggle and smile flirtatiously at me despite the sarcastic nature of my joke.

After struggling through an afternoon of studying and photo editing, I head home and quickly eat dinner before heading upstairs and changing into a brand-new pair of silky white tights and my trusty black spaghetti-strapped leotard, before pulling my shorts and turtleneck back on and tying my hair back into a small bun. After grabbing my dance bag, I’m about to approach my dad and ask if he can give me a lift to ballet, when I’m distracted by a knock on my front door.

“Boo!” Dannii yells, making me jump as I open the door. “Are you ready?” Despite being in Krystie’s advanced ballet class, Dannii is dressed identically to me, the only difference being that she’s wearing a flimsy black dance skirt instead of shorts.

“Umm… You’re not in my class, are you?” I ask, confused by Dannii’s sudden appearance on my doorstep.

“No,” Dannii explains. “But Sarah’s sick, and it’s your first day in a new class, I thought you’d appreciate a friendly face being there- and, of course, a lift to the studio!”

“Suits me!” Dad laughs from his sofa.

“Then it’s settled,” Dannii says smugly, grabbing my hand and leading me to the back seat of her car.

“Thanks for the lift, Mr. Samson,” I say to Dannii’s dad as he drives us into central London.

“Don’t mention it,” the middle-aged man replies. “Danielle told me how much you loved ballet, she’s booked a month of remedial intermediate classes for herself so it just made sense to give you a lift.” So I’m going to have to endure a whole month of Dannii at ballet? Jeez…

“I’m very grateful, thanks,” I repeat.

“This’ll be so cool!” Dannii gushes. “And this way, I don’t have to wait for photos of you in your cute outfit!” Much to my horror, Dannii quickly strokes my tights-covered leg.

“Yeah,” I uneasily giggle as we speed off toward the studio.

“Hi Nikki!” Krystie- my dance teacher- greets me as I step into her dance studio. “Big day today! I’ve heard from Sarah, sucks that she can’t make it to her first class, but- Oh, hi Dannii.”

“Hi!” Dannii says enthusiastically. “Just thought I’d come along to support my best girl Nikki here!”

“Oh, okay,” Krystie says. “But you’re dressed for a lesson…” Clearly Krystie didn’t get the memo about Dannii asking her for remedial lessons…

“Yeah,” Dannii says cautiously. “I was wondering if I could, you know, pay for an extra lesson this week?”

“Hmm, well okay,” Krystie says, clearly taken aback by the tall girl. “This stuff’s a bit basic for you, though. And you won’t need your pointes- only your soft shoes.”

“Oh, okay,” Dannii says, quickly swapping her satin pointe shoes for soft canvas ballet slippers.

“Speaking of pointes,” Krystie says, returning her attention to me and smiling, “I want to get you and Sarah onto pointe shoes by November, provided you both work hard at your dancing. It’s kind-of a rite of passage for girls, and Sarah’s 18 in November, so I really want to get you into the advanced class by then.”

“Oh my god, thank you!” I say.

“You are SO right,” Dannii says to Krystie. “I remember when I got my pointes when I was 12, it was, like, the BEST day of my life!”

“Yeah, same here,” Krystie says half-heartedly. “Come on, lesson’s about to start!”

After 90 minutes of much more technical and difficult dancing than I’m used to, the lesson ends and I walk out of the studio with Dannii following closely behind.

“Oh my god, you’re such a talented dancer!” Dannii enthuses. “Even despite your ‘handicap’!” I giggle at Dannii’s ‘nickname’ of my status.

“Thanks,” I say. “Just wish Sarah could’ve been here, she’s much more talented than I am.”

“I dunno,” Dannii teases. “You’re pretty good… Pretty flexible, too!”

“I’ve got to call her,” I say, desperately trying to brush off Dannii without offending her. “Tell her the good news. About, um, the pointe shoes.”

“Oh, okay,” Dannii says, clearly slightly offended that I’d prefer to talk to my girlfriend than to her. Unfortunately, when I call Sarah’s number, there’s no reply.

“She’s probably asleep,” I mumble. “Gonna have to drop round tomorrow, after college.”

“Noo,” Dannii says. “You can’t tomorrow, I’ve got a surprise for you!”

“Umm, what surprise, exactly?” I ask as we get into Dannii’s dad’s car.

“Okay,” Dannii dramatically sighs. “You’ve twisted my arm… I may have got you an interview with my current agent, that’s all…” My jaw drops, and after a brief pause, I forget my reservations and give Dannii a long, tight hug.

“Oh my god oh my god!” I squeak. “Thank you so much! How- how did you even arrange this?”

“Easy,” Dannii says smugly. “I just told them how sexy and talented you were, they set up an interview!”

“Will it be with Joshua himself?” I ask.

“Of course,” Dannii replies, clearly loving the attention I’m suddenly lavishing on her. “He interviews ALL his prospective models. And you never know, you may run into an Angel while you’re there…”

“Oh my god, this is so awesome!” I squeak, allowing myself to get carried away despite the fact that we were in the presence of an Angel less than ten minutes ago.

“My mum will pick you up tomorrow from your house at 3:30,” Dannii says. “Make sure you’ve got something smart and sexy to change into!”

“I will,” I say, still hyper about the interview.

After arriving home- and explaining the interview to my parents, who were (as always when it comes to my modelling ‘career’) supportive but apprehensive- I went straight upstairs and worked on updating my portfolio, not even bothering to change out of my dancewear until it was time for bed. It only once I’m changed into my nightie that I remember, despite the excitement of the interview, that I have a girlfriend who’s unwell and could probably use some kind words from the girl she loves. I grab my phone and open up Facebook.

‘Hey,’ I type into a new chat window to Sarah. 30 seconds later, I get a reply.

‘Hey you,’ Sarah replies.

‘How you feeling?’ I ask.

‘Awful,’ Sarah replies with a frowny face. ‘I wish you were here in bed with me…’

‘I wish I was there too xxx,’ I reply.

‘How was ballet?’ Sarah asks.

‘So cool,’ I reply, hesitating over whether or not to mention Dannii’s presence, but opting against it in the end. ‘A lot harder than beginner class though!’ I smile before typing the next message. ‘Krystie reckons we’ll be ready for pointes in 9 months!’

‘OMG!!!!!’ Sarah types. ‘I must get better, I must get better…’

‘Lol,’ I type with a smiley face. ‘I’ll let you get to sleep so you can get rid of this flu. Love you babe xxxxx’

‘Love you too xxxxx,’ Sarah replies, before going offline.

Once again, in my sleep, I’m stood in a church, dressed in an elaborate, pure white wedding dress. However, unlike before, my dress is now a tutu, and I’m wearing pointe shoes on my feet. Wearing an identical costume and dancing en pointe with me is Dannii, who lives deep into my eyes and smiles.

I wake up with a gasp and clamp my spare pillow over my face, stifling a scream of pure frustration over my hyperactive subconscious.

After showering, taking my hormone pills, fixing my make-up and getting dressed in thick black tights, a cute brown top and denim miniskirt, I remember Dannii’s advice and pick my only skirt suit out of my wardrobe. It’s in a dark grey, with a straight knee-length pencil skirt and a fitted jacket. I look far older than I actually am when wearing it, but I do look damned sexy in it, even if I do say so myself! I pick out a pair of shoes to go with the suit- cute pointed-toe stilettos with a 3” heel- and slip my feet into a pair of cute flats for college, before grabbing my bag, kissing both my parents goodbye and heading out the door.

Sarah’s still unwell so I meet up with Katie at the college gate and head into the building with her instead, though for lunch we still meet up with Lauren, who of course has Dannii with her.

“Big day today!” Dannii squeaks as I sit down. “Are you all ready?” Thanks for blurting that out to everyone, Dannii… I think to myself.

“Yeah,” I say, forcing a smile onto my face.

“What’s this now?” Katie asks.

“It- it’s nothing, really…” I mutter.

“Thanks for writing off all the effort I put in to get you this interview as ‘nothing’,” Dannii says, making me wince a little. “Our Miss Thomas will soon be joining me as a Joshua Benedict girl!”

“Oh my god!” Katie squeaks, looking at me excitedly.

“Oh my god, really?” Lauren asks.

“It’s just an interview,” I sigh. “Joshua must get hundreds of models a day kicking down his door to get on his books. I am really, really grateful you go me this interview, Dannii.”

“Apology accepted,” the tall girl says smugly.

“This is gonna be so awesome,” Katie breathes. “Hey, when you get signed, can you get me an interview?”

“Of course!” I say confidently, earning me a hug!

For the rest of the day, even though we try to get work done, all Katie can talk about is the interview, which does my nerves no good whatsoever. Fortunately, I’m able to persuade my tutor to let me finish off the rest of the day’s work at home, so I leave college at 2pm, giving me plenty of time to get home and dressed. After I leave, I check my phone to see if there are any missed calls or messages from Sarah, but to my surprise, the only missed call is from Lauren. Wondering why she’d call me when we were only speaking an hour earlier, I flick the ‘redial’ button with my fuchsia-coloured thumbnail.

“Hi Nikki,” Lauren says, answering her phone after the second ring.

“Hey girlie,” I say happily. “You bunking off too?”

“Yeah,” Lauren replies. “Can’t get much done without Sarah here. Anyway, that’s not why I called… We need to talk about Dannii.”

“What’s up with her?” I ask, though inside, I already know what Lauren’s going to say.

“I’ve seen her like this before,” Lauren sighs. “You know how she’s completely incapable of taking ‘no’ for an answer…”

“Yeah…” I say. “This interview… I only found out about it yesterday evening. Barely had time to prepare for it.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Lauren replies. “I mean, I love her and all, she’s my oldest friend, it’s just- she can be a bit mental at times. And I’m pretty sure she’s got the hots for you.” Whilst this information doesn’t surprise me, hearing it confirmed by a friend somehow makes it more ‘real’.

“I can take care of myself, don’t worry,” I say, faking a smile.

“Be sure that you do,” Lauren says. “It’s far too soon for the ‘New Angels’ to split up, we’re not rich and famous yet!”

“Heh, talk to you later,” I say.

“See you soon Nikki!” Lauren says, ending the call.

I arrive back home shortly after and change into my smart skirt and heels, also exchanging my thick black tights for a lighter, translucent pair and taking the time to enhance my make-up. I hesitate before pulling on the jacket- it is a lot more formal than a 16 year old girl should wear, even to a job interview, but I remember being told stories about how the interviewer always insists on formal wear for all of his employees- so it couldn't hurt to make a good impression. The last time I'd interviewed for him, I'd just worn a pencil skirt and a smart top- and this may have damaged my chances of getting representation.

Before I stand up from my dresser, I notice the charm bracelet Dannii bought me for Christmas laying on the side. Since I got it, I've enhanced with various charms including a ‘K’, an ‘L’ and an ‘S’ to go with the ‘N’ and ‘D’ already on there. Smirking, I slip it on my wrist underneath the cuff of my blouse. As promised, Dannii knocks on my door at exactly half past three, wearing a suit of her own with a short skirt that exposes almost all of her incredible legs.

“Hey Nikki!” Dannii says, giving me a quick hug. “All ready for your big interview?”

“I think so,” I say, grabbing my bag and my hastily-printed portfolio.

“You’ll be great,” Dannii says, grabbing my hand and leading me to her mum’s car. “And I’ll go in with you so you’ll have a friendly face on your side! Speaking of friendly face… We’re going to make a quick stop at my house en route.”

“Is- is there time?” I ask, crossing my legs and smoothing my skirt over my thighs.

“Oh we’ll have plenty of time,” Dannii says dismissively. “They’re not expecting you until 4:30!” An hour!? It doesn’t take an hour to get from my house to Joshua’s place… Dannii had this planned in advance…

Sure enough, we arrive at Dannii’s parents’ house a short while later. I've been here before, but it's always an imposing place, especially when it's just the two of us. The house is a lot bigger, and a lot posher than mine- at least four bedrooms, even though Dannii doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. After arriving, Dannii quickly leads me up the stairs- despite my pleas for her to slow down because of my heels- to her bedroom, where she sits me down in front of her dresser. As with her house, her bedroom’s a lot larger than either mine or Sarah’s- as are her wardrobes and make-up collections. Her walls are covered in photos, most of which are of Dannii and the ‘New Angels’.

“Okay,” Dannii says. “First thing, your hair.” Dannii grabs a pair of ceramic hair straighteners and immediately sets about straightening my usually wavy hair before brushing it out into a more feminine style than I’ve ever been able to manage. Dannii then mixes two subtle shades of pink and silver eye shadow together before applying them to my eyelids, and recoats my fingernails with a deep crimson polish.

“Now this,” Dannii says, pulling a small tube out of her drawers, “is my absolute favouritest lipstick. Pucker up!” Dannii leans in to me to apply the cosmetic, but I instinctively lean back. Suddenly, my mind flashes back to the first time I ever dressed with Sarah almost three years ago, the way she brushes out my hair- well, wig, but same difference- the way she put her own make-up on me… The way we fell in love…

“I- I can put on my own lipstick,” I say nervously, my heart fluttering as Dannii giggles and hands me the tube, which I liberally apply to my lips, loving the taste of apples and cherries it brings. When I look in the mirror, I can hardly recognise the glamorous woman staring back at me- even though I’ve been living full-time as a female for the last nine months.

“SEXY. WOMAN.” Dannii enthuses as I do a quick twirl for her. “You know, sharing lipstick is kinda like kissing, in a way…”

“If you say so,” I nervously reply, retrieving my handbag and heading out of Dannii’s room.

“Hang on a sec,” The tall girl says. Much to my surprise, Dannii then removes her heels and replaces them with a pair of plain flats, so we stand at almost the exact same height.

“Much better,” Dannii says, looking me directly in the eye. “Come on! Mr. Benedict will see you now!” Giggling, Dannii leads me down her stairs- even faster than before, despite me protesting that I’m still wearing my heels.

We arrive at the agency’s new offices a short while later. They’re a far cry from the small office I interviewed in last year, much more spacious, and more open and welcoming. Guess that’s what having a successful TV show will do for you…

We barely get to the desk to check in when we’re interrupted by a loud, vaguely African voice booming across the reception area.

“Danielle Samson!” The man happily shouts. “Have you brought me a new superstar?”

“I have indeed, Mr. Benedict,” Dannii smugly replies. “This GORGEOUS young woman to my left is-“

“Nicola Thomas!” Mr. Benedict says, finishing Dannii’s sentence. “We met last year, didn’t we?”

“We did, yes,” I say nervously, giving the millionaire a light, feminine handshake.

“I remember you well!” Mr. Benedict says warmly. “I remember telling you to expand your portfolio!”

“I did!” I say, holding up my folder and still giggling inappropriately.

“Come into my office, we’ll have a look at it!” Mr. Benedict says, leading the two of us into his plush office. “Are you parents not able to come?”

“The interview was too short notice,” I explain. “They couldn’t get the time off of work.”

“Okay,” the tall, dark-skinned man says. “If I sign you they would need to sign consent forms, that’s all. I trust you’re not here behind their back, though!”

“No, of course not,” I answer, sitting down in the comfortable chair and crossing my left leg over my right.

“Good,” Mr. Benedict laughs. “Dannii knows how lucky she is that I gave her a second chance for pulling that trick!” Oh really? I think to myself as my interviewer flicks through my folder.

“I won’t deny,” the jovial man says, “I see real potential in these photographs. I’m especially impressed by the ones you took yourself! Lining up a shot whilst simultaneously being in it isn’t easy. But… I’m concerned by the lack of professional work, and that you don’t already have representation. In the past I’ve hired amateurs, but there are only so many places available on my books, and a LOT of people wanting to fill them.”

“I see,” I say, somewhat disappointed by the man’s negative tone.

“But!” He continues. “You came here dolled up for an interview, seems a shame to wear such a good suit without taking a few photos of it!” I smile as Dannii gives my hand a quick squeeze and Mr. Benedict leads out of his office and into his small photography studio, where I spend the next ten minutes posing, showing off my clothes and make-up as he photographs me.

“Very good!” The tall man says after we finish the ‘session’. “You’re clearly a natural. As I said, I have a lot of interviews to conduct, but I’ll let you know soon whether or not there’s a place for you in our family!”

“Thank you,” I gush, desperately trying to suck up to my prospective employer. “Thank you so much for this opportunity!”

A short while later, I’m stood in the agency’s very fancy washroom, cleaning up after a visit that I was almost desperate for by the end of the interview!

“Thanks for coming with me,” I say as I check my make-up in the mirror. “I really do appreciate it.”

“Hey, anything for my fellow 'New' Angel,” Dannii says, giving me a quick squeeze. “Need to touch up your lippy?” Dannii produces the same lipstick I’d applied earlier from my bag, which I gratefully take from her.

“You ARE an Angel,” I say, applying another thick coat of the fruity cosmetic to my lips.

“Thanks,” Dannii says, taking the tube out of my hands. "Oh my god! You're wearing the bracelet!"

"It's my first real charm bracelet," I explain as Dannii fiddles with the thin chain. "Figured it'd bring me good luck."

"Well you ARE here," Dannii says. "In the most awesome modelling agency in the country, with me..." Dannii takes my hand in hers and looks into my eyes, and it's like an electric shock passes through my body.

Ever since the start of my hormone treatments, my sex drive has been virtually non-existent, but staring into Dannii’s deep blue eyes now, I feel something, something indescribable. My heart rate skyrockets and I feel my palms start to sweat. Simultaneously, the two of us lean into each other and we kiss, a long, slow, passionate kiss that lasts for an eternity.

We break away for a brief second and stare into each other’s eyes as we process what just happened. The moment overtakes us again and we lean in, kissing deeply one more time, before a wave of guilt floods my body.

“No,” I say, breaking away from Dannii and leaning on a sink, almost hyperventilating.

“Nikki,” Dannii says, wrapping her hands around my slender waist. “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that…” And she’s right- I did, I did enjoy it a lot. And that’s why I feel so guilty.

“I LOVE Sarah,” I say firmly.

"Sarah's not here," Dannii says. "I am."

"But she's my soulmate," I plead, trying to convince myself as much as I am Dannii.

“Has Sarah ever got you an interview for your dream job?” Dannii asks, resting her head on my shoulder.

“No,” I sigh. “But she’s the one who helped me start my dream LIFE.”

“You honestly, truly don’t know what you’re turning down,” Dannii says.

“Maybe not,” I sigh. “But I know what I’d be giving up. I’m- I’m sorry, Dannii. If I wasn’t Sarah’s girlfriend then yes, I’d go out with you in a heartbeat. But this- we- this just can’t happen. I’ll always love you, just as a friend.” Dannii looks into my eyes, her own eyes filled with frustration that drains as she sees that my feelings for Sarah are genuine.

“You- you really do love her, don’t you?” Dannii asks, tears in her eyes.

“With all my heart,” I reply, closing my eyes and allowing mental images of Sarah’s face to flood my brain.

“I’ll always love you,” Dannii says bluntly. “You’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”

“I can live with that,” I whisper. “As long as I have her.” Nodding silently, Dannii takes both of my hands in hers and gives me one final, soft kiss on my lips.

“So… I guess this is the last time we’ll see each other?” Dannii says sadly.

“I don’t see why it has to be,” I say, trying to cheer up the girl- who is still one of my very best friends. “What happens here can stay here. Besides, my girlfriend’s working with your best friend… How about we just say this never happened and that we’re just good- no, GREAT- friends?”

“New Angels forever?” Dannii asks. "Really? After what just happened?"

“New Angels forever and EVER,” I reply, grinning confidently. "Just because we made a mistake doesn't mean it's the end of the world."

"God, make me love you more, why don't you?" Dannii pouts, before letting out a long sigh. "You're right, I guess... Can- can we just go home, please?" I silently nod, grabbing my bag as we head to Dannii's mother's car.

“So then, how did it go?” Dad asks as I step through front door. “I know how much you wanted this last year, I’m assuming this hasn’t changed?”

“A few things have changed,” I say quietly, before grinning a wide, genuine grin. “This isn’t one of them!” My grin stays on my face as I change from my suit and my blouse back into the skirt and top I was wearing earlier. From what Mr. Benedict was saying, I’m not confident I’m going to get signed as a model. The one thing I’ve learned from my course, though, is that I much prefer being in front of the camera than behind it, and Joshua Benedict talent isn’t the only agent in the country.

However, as sure as I am about my professional life, today’s events have left my personal life in turmoil. It wasn’t the case that Dannii forced herself onto me- I was fully aware of what I was doing evert step of the way. I WANTED Dannii, and she wanted me. I felt a lust that I hadn’t felt before at any point in my young life- not even with Sarah, the supposed love of my life. How am I meant to tell her that I kissed another woman? Am I meant to tell her? What if Dannii tells her? It’ll never happen again, I can make sure of that, but it should never have happened in the first place…

After checking to see whether or not Sarah was logged on to Facebook- she wasn’t- I send her a quick text message reminding her just how much I love her, before immersing myself in TV and coursework for the rest of the night.

My sleep that night is dreamless, which comes as a relief given recent events. After eating breakfast, showering and taking my pills, I opt for an ‘androgynous’ look for college today, pulling on a plain sweater and a pair of tight girly jeans instead of a skirt or dress, and lace-up shoes instead of ballet flats or heels. I still wear make-up, of course, and my nails are still painted a deep crimson. Unsurprisingly, this ‘change’ is commented on when I arrive at college.

“Why are you hiding those great ballerina's legs of yours all of a sudden?” Katie- who, as usual, is wearing a knee-length skirt and black tights- asks upon seeing my conservative look.

“Ugh, long story,” I reply as we head to our class.

With Sarah still off sick, Katie and I meet up with Lauren and Dannii for one of the tensest lunch hours of my college career to date. Much to my surprise, Dannii is also wearing tight jeans instead of her usual miniskirt.

“Hey girlies,” Dannii says, but without her usual over-the-top enthusiasm.

“Are you okay, Dannii?” Katie asks, casting a sideways glance at me.

“Yeah…” Dannii sighs. “Just a bit iffy. Heh, might have caught your girlfriend’s flu!”

“Heh,” I reply nervously, concentrating hard on eating my food.

“Well keep it away from me, whatever you two do!” Katie jokes.

“Are you feeling ill too, Nikki?” Lauren asks- though it’s clear from the expression on her face that she knows what’s REALLY up.

“A little,” I say. “Haven’t actually seen Sarah since Tuesday, maybe I’m just heartsick.”

“Hehe,” Katie giggles. “What’s everyone got planned for tomorrow, then?”

“NOT getting back with Jordan,” Dannii says confidently. “Though this’ll be my first Valentine’s Day single in 4 years…”

“So…” Katie says incredulously. “You’re telling me you had a boyfriend AND a Valentine’s date when you were 13?”

“You’re telling me you DIDN’T?” Dannii replies.

“Looks like Jason’s got a LOT of catching up to do,” Katie says, making the table giggle and thankfully lessening the tension.

“Seriously,” Dannii sighs. “I’ll probably just stay home… How about you, Nikki?”

“God, I dunno,” I sigh. “Last two years I went to a movie with Sarah. First year, obviously, it was Nick and Sarah, not Nikki and Sarah, last year… I was actually dressed more femininely than I am now!” Once again, the girls at the table giggle, especially Dannii, whose laugh has a tinge of sadness to it that pulls at my heartstrings despite my best efforts. “Obviously if she’s still laid up that’s not going to be an option this year.”

“That sucks when you’re ill during a holiday,” Lauren says. “I remember being laid up with tonsillitis two Christmases in a row, that was just NOT fair.”

“Ugh, poor you,” Katie says. “Still, if your tonsils get ill now, you’ve always got Michael to kiss them better, right?”

“You… do know that tonsils are located at the back of the mouth, right?” Lauren asks, making Katie grin widely.

“Yep!” Katie replies, making everyone giggle yet again, getting rid of the last of the tension that had permeated the table. After lunch, I stand up to go back to class with Katie when my eyes meet Dannii’s, and it’s clear that I need to speak to her yet again.

“I’ll meet you in the computer lab,” I say to my work collaborator, who quietly nods and leaves.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Lauren says to me as she leaves me alone with Dannii.

“So…” I start, breaking the awkward silence.

“So,” Dannii says. “I see you’re not wearing the bracelet today…” I grab my wrist and discover that she’s right- I must have left it off without thinking.

“I… don’t usually wear it to college,” I say.

“You know,” Dannii says, “I only come here for lunch because of you.”

“…And not Lauren?” I ask.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Dannii says. “Lauren will always be my best friend, but that first day I met you… You just stuck in my brain. And not just because you’re a boy who turned into a gorgeous, girly girl. You’re clever, you’re funny… And you’re taken.”

“Did you dump Jordan for me?” I ask quietly.

“Nah,” Dannii says dismissively. “I’d got tired of him AGES ago.”

“Are you still going to come for lunch?” I ask.

“When I can,” Dannii sighs. “I doubt I’ll ever get you out of my head. And seeing you with her… It was hard before, god knows what it’ll be like now… Have you told her yet?” I shake my head, tears threatening to form in my eyes.

“Don’t,” Dannii advises. “What happened there won’t happen again. You made very sure of that yesterday.”

“You’ll find someone,” I say softly, grabbing Dannii’s slender hand. “Any straight guy in the country would give their right arm to be your boyfriend. And, for that matter, any gay girl would give their right arm to be your girlfriend.”

“Just not EVERY gay girl,” Dannii sighs, looking me in the eyes. “I’ve got to get to work, can’t advertise make-up without a face to put it on! I’ll see you around, Nikki.” I nod and stand up, but only get a few steps before Dannii calls me back.

“Oh Nikki,” the tall girl says. “You never did say what you were doing for V-Day.”

“Ugh,” I groan. “Probably sexting Sarah if she’s up to it…”

“You wouldn’t rather be there in person?” Dannii teases.

“More than you know,” I sigh. “I’m even happy to risk getting sick, but Sarah probably won’t be up to anything more than laying on the sofa and sleeping…”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t have a romantic day,” Dannii says with a sly smile. “It just means you’ll have to do a bit more work than usual…”

“What exactly do you mean?” I ask, bringing an almost devilish smile to Dannii’s lips…

After an afternoon full of editing photos and videos (and the occasional argument) with Katie, I all but drag my weary body to the office that has been my sanctuary for well over a year.

"Hi Nikki," Dr. Williamson says as I park myself on one of her chairs. "You look different from normal, are you okay?"

"I've really been better," I sigh. "I... I've done something stupid."

"Okay," Dr. Williamson says. "Tell me what's happened."

"I've told you about Dannii, right?" I ask.

"She's one of the members of your close friendship group, right?" Dr. Williamson asks, and I nod in response.

"Yesterday," I begin. "We- we kissed."

"I see," Dr. Williamson replies with professional stoicism. "And how did this make you feel?"

"I don't know," I reply truthfully, trying to keep tears out of my eyes. "I mean, I love Sarah, I always have, I always will but Dannii, she's- she's something entirely different."

"You're hardly the first teenager to face temptation," Dr. Williamson assures me. "Tell me how you felt immediately before you kissed Dannii."

"I felt..." I begin. "Excited. Like it was something new, uncharted territory."

"And how did it feel after you'd kissed?" the therapist calmly asks me.

"Anxious," I say. "Like I knew I screwed up, screwed up in a mind-bogglingly massive way."

"If it makes you feel any better," Dr Williamson says, "I've heard this story plenty of times before. You had a moment of weakness and acted upon it, and now you're struggling to cope with the guilt."

"How do I cope with the guilt?" I ask, fearing what the answer may be.

"There are several techniques," Dr. Williamson says, grabbing a marker pen and approaching her whiteboard.

After a full hour of analysis and helpful advice from the woman who has become as much a friend as she has a therapist, I head home and immediately log on to Facebook, where- much to my relief and delight- Sarah is showing as ‘online’.

‘Evening beautiful,’ I type.

‘xxxxxxxxx,’ comes the almost immediate response.

‘Feeling better?’ I ask.

‘Yeah,’ Sarah replies. ‘Not throwing up any more but still feel like I’ve got a head full of shit.’

‘Poor you…’ I reply, following up with a long string of ‘x’s.

‘I really, really wish you were here,’ Sarah types. ‘Haven’t seen you in over 2 days, I don’t want to be without my soulmate that long!’

‘It’s been torture for me,’ I type.

‘I guarantee you it was worse for me,’ Sarah replies with a sticking-tongue-out smiley.

‘Lol,’ I reply. ‘Will you be up for anything tomorrow?’

‘Only coughing and sneezing on my sofa,’ Sarah replies with a frowning emoticon. Remembering my earlier conversation with Dannii, I smile a devilish grin of my own.

‘Perfect,’ I reply. ‘See you at 6:30?’

‘Umm, you DO know I’m sick, right?’ Sarah types.

‘Uh-huh,’ I reply. ‘6:30 tomorrow?’

‘Umm, okay…’ Sarah types. I spend the rest of the evening on Facebook catching up with the woman I love, skilfully deflecting all of her attempts to discover what I have planned for the following night, and NOT mentioning my ‘mistake’ with Dannii. I eventually climb into bed just after 11pm, and that’s only because Sarah herself went to bed. I’d have happily stayed up all night chatting to her- even though it’s a school night- and it wouldn’t have been the first time I’d done so.

My alarm wakes me from another dreamless sleep, and I hop out of bed with a spring in my step, and not just because it’s Friday. When I’m ready to leave the house, I dress in a knee-length denim skirt, a clingy grey top, black tights and heeled ankle booties, and I take extra care on my make-up so that yesterday’s ‘androgynous girl’ is replaced by ‘beautiful sex kitten’.

“Hello gorgeous!” Katie greets me as I enter the college. “Good to see that ‘long story’ had an ending to it!”

“And a happy ending, too,” I say, giggling with my friend as we head to class.

Lunch that days so much smoother than it had the day before. Katie and Lauren both gush over their upcoming dates with their boyfriends whilst Dannii and I listen intently, and we all speculate over the upcoming wedding of 'Angel' Mary Logan. As I head back to class, however, I’m stopped once again by Dannii.

“As promised,” the tall girl says, handing me a large carrier bag. “Hope Sarah likes it as much as Jordan did!”

“Oh, she will,” I say. “I’ll MAKE her. Once again, you are an absolute Angel.”

“I dunno about ‘Angel’,” Dannii sighs. “Just call me your ‘fairy godsister’!”

“There’s no such thing as a ‘godsister’, is there?” I ask.

“There is now!” Dannii exclaims, making us both double over in fits of giggles. "You make her love you as much as you deserve to be loved, Nikki!"

After a quick dinner at home, I change into my ‘outfit’ for the night, pulling a long coat on top of it so only my nylon-covered shins and feet show.

“I take it I shouldn’t expect to see you home tonight?” Dad asks stoically as I step out of his car, taking my bag of treats- flowers, chocolates and grapes- for Sarah as I go.

“Correct,” I say with a wicked smile as I slowly- due to my extra-high heels- stride toward Sarah’s front door and ring her doorbell.

“Nikki,” Beverly says, answering the door. “Hi, I’m sorry, but Sarah really isn’t well enough to go out tonight.”

“That’s okay,” I say. “I just want to see her, if that’s okay.”

“Oh, okay,” Beverly says with an air of confusion. “But you’re all made up, and dressed…” I beam a friendly smile at Beverly as I slowly climb the stairs in my excessive heels, wondering what the middle-aged woman must think about the vertical seams on the back of my hose…

“Hello?” I say quietly, knocking on Sarah’s bedroom door.

"Nikki?" Sarah croaks, smiling at me from underneath her bed sheets as I poke my head around the door.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I say softly, handing Sarah her bag of presents.

"You didn't need to come round," Sarah sniffs as she opens her presents. "And I can't smell these flowers or eat these chocolates anyway!"

"Oh, that's okay," I say with a grin. "That's not your MAIN present anyway."

"...Where is my main present, then?" Sarah asks.

"Right here," I say, dropping my coat and exposing my outfit, which- as predicted- makes Sarah's jaw drop and her eyes (bloodshot as they are) go wide as dinner plates. I'm wearing an absolutely tiny nurse's dress, under which you can clearly see the tops of my stockings and the garters they're attached to. Underneath, I have on my sexiest bra and thong, the former of which is amplifying what little cleavage I have, the latter of which (when combined with my scandalously short hemline) exposes my bare buttocks every time I bend over. My 5" platform heels, thick make-up and the nurse's hat on my head serve to complete my sexy look.

"'Nurse Nikki' will get you all better, just leave everything to me!" I purr, sitting cross-legged on the side of Sarah's bed.

"Nikki," Sarah says quietly. "I spoke to Dannii." My heart plummets and I almost faint as my girlfriend looks at me stoically.

"I'm sorry," I say, tears welling in my eyes. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I'm sor-"

"She told me how she kissed you, and how you pushed her away," Sarah says, a smile creeping onto her lips. "She told me how sorry she was, how it would never ever happen again, and that she'd stay away from the rest of the group if I wanted." This time, it's my jaw's turn to drop- Dannii had taken the full blame when she could easily have destroyed my relationship, freeing me up for herself.

"And- and do you want that?" I ask.

"At first I did," Sarah whispers. "But she's Lauren's best friend, I do most of my work with Lauren... And I can hardly blame Dannii for finding you as amazing as I do, can I? Besides, we ARE the New Angels... We can find a way past this, can't we?" I nod quietly. "I doubt I'll ever trust her alone with you again. But the important thing is, my amazing sexy girlfriend is still MY amazing sexy girlfriend." Now openly crying, I lean in and give the poorly girl a tight hug that I only release when Sarah starts coughing.

"And Dannii DID lend you that costume, I take it?" Sarah asks, playing with the delicate material of my stocking tops.

"How many 16 year old girls do you know who'd have one of these?" I ask, fiddling with the hem of the dress.

"Dannii's never been 16," Sarah half-laughs and half-coughs. "I swear that girl turned 18 on her 13th birthday."

"I know what you mean," I giggle.

"I'm just glad it's you in the costume and not her," Sarah says, before dramatically swooning back on her pillow. "Nurse," Sarah flamboyantly cries. "I need grapes!"

"Of course, Miss Phillips," I purr, leaning over Sarah and feeding her her grapes one at a time.

"I also need that nail polish," Sarah quips, making us both giggle. "Just one more grape please, nurse..." I smile wickedly as I tuck the grape between my scarlet-coloured lips and lean into Sarah.

"Really?" Sarah asks. "You want my germs?"

"I've told you before," I say, temporarily removing the grape from my mouth, "If they're YOUR germs, I'll take them any day of the week!" Sarah smiles widely as she sucks the grape from my mouth, kissing me deeply and caressing my breasts through the thin material of my bra.

Within half an hour, we're both snuggled up in bed, completely naked save for my hat. Even despite her occasional cough and splutter, I've never been as in love with Sarah as I am right now, and as I fall asleep, I find myself back in the church, wearing a beautiful wedding dress and standing opposite the identically-dressed Sarah.

Little did I know at the time that Sarah was having the exact same dream as me.

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Comments

I am actually glad that

I am actually glad that Dannie told Sarah about her attempted fling with Nikki. I am also glad that she took all the blame for it and left Nikki off the hook so to speak. As over the top as she seems to appear, Dannie does have good sense to help others when she herself, caused a lot of the grief they have discovered in their lives after getting to know Dannie. really hoping that Nikki gets on with the "New Angels" and that she, Sarah and Dannie can work together civilly and as good friends. Janice Lynn

The truth

Nikki save the day. Those type of secret can be very depressing if kept to one self. Telling the truth can bring disaster too.

Nikki and Sarah

I truly hope that after college those two get married as they are SO suited to each other,. brilliant story so far debbie v, also brilliant work on the other connected stories as well :)