With apologies to Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that the task of organising a wedding devolves principally on the 'bride to be'. As far as the groom is concerned, his duties are few – to arrive at the arranged place on the right date and time; to be appropriately dressed; to be sober (and without a hangover), and to have made sure that his Best Man has the ring or rings. The rest is up to the bride and it is quite a big event to organise, especially for an older bride like me who doesn't have parents or siblings to help her.

I have decided to have a traditional country wedding. The ceremony will take place in the local church, and we will then repair to the church hall where the ladies of the Country Womens' Association will provide the sort of banquet which would cost at least five times as much in any city venue. A local trio will provide music and that will be so much better than hiring a DJ. Who knows, I might even persuade James to sing!

Well prior to the chosen date I have had a few important things to organise. I have been in touch with Melissa and asked her to be my 'Maid of Honour', and she has accepted with great delight. The wedding will take place a fortnight before she goes to Sydney for her surgery, so I hope that will take her mind off it. We recently has a long telephone discussion about her surgery and what to expect. I laid it on the line while trying not to frighten her in any way. Reassignment surgery is fairly major, but at least she does not need any breast enhancement as her hormones have had the desired effect and she now has a nice B cup bosom.

I asked Jack's wife Mary to be the 'Matron of Honour' and she seemed quite thrilled at the idea. Meanwhile on James's side he asked his friend Martin to be 'Best Man' and we decided to ask Jack to be Groomsman, thus balancing up the numbers. One final thing needed to be arranged and that was who was to 'give me away'. In my mind there was only one possible person for the job, and that was the man who had known me the longest time of all in Australia – Tom.

I have not seem Tom for a few months, and when I heard a rumour that he has not been too well, I made up my mind to go and see him as soon as possible. I certainly didn't want to put any strain on him, so I rang his wife Ellen first of all and asked her how he was and about my proposal.

“Tom hasn't been the greatest,” she responded to my query, “He's getting on as you know. He wasn't well recently and he went to the doctor much against his will. Well you know what men are like. It seems he is developing heart failure.”

This revelation came as a shock to me. I suppose we expect our friends to live for ever.

“I was going to ask him to give me away at my wedding,” I said. “Do you think in the circumstances it would be better for you both to just come along as guests?”

“Not at all,” responded Ellen, “He would be thrilled to be asked. I know that you and he are very old friends and he would be so proud to have a part in your wedding.” She paused for a moment and then said “ I'll be honest with you Lesley – we don't really know how long he has left, so we take it one day at a time. This will give him something to look forward to and I'm as sure as I can be that he'll be there on the day.”

I trust Ellen's judgment. She is a retired nurse after all. It's true of course that the power of the mind over the body is a wonderful thing. I only had to think of how Tom's first wife Jenny hung on until she could see and hold her granddaughter. That gave me another thought.

“Do you think that Tom's granddaughter Danielle would like to be a flower girl?” I asked. “It's not going to be a really fancy wedding – I won't be wearing white, I'm thinking more cream; but I do know how little girls love to dress up for occasions like weddings.”

“Indeed they do, and she's seven now. Look why don't you call over for afternoon tea in the next couple of days and ask him both things?” Ellen said.

Danielle seven! So it's seven years since Jenny passed away. That's hard to believe, but they do say that as you get older time passes more quickly.

I called over to see Tom and Ellen today. Ellen let me in and told me Tom was sitting outside sunning himself in the back garden. Then she went off and busied herself in the kitchen. I confess I was shocked when I saw Tom. In the couple of months since I last saw him he had visibly aged. I hoped he hadn't noticed my reaction but his first words dashed that.

He held out his hand to me and said “Lesley, my dear, it's so good to see you. I'm afraid old Tom isn't what he was.”

“Please don't say that Tom, I'm sure you've a lot of life left in you yet.”

He smiled, or was it a grimace?

“Nice of you to say so, but the doc seems to think otherwise.”

“Well, doctors don't know everything, and anyway I came to see you with a special request. You know I'm getting married in a couple of months. You are my oldest friend, and I would really like you to give me away.”

This time Tom's smile was genuine.

“Why of course I would. In fact I'd be delighted. Just tell me the date and time and I'll be there.”

“Good,” I replied. “You wouldn't believe how much time and effort goes into organising a wedding and that's something for me to cross off my list. There is one more thing – do you think your granddaughter Danielle would like to be a flower girl?”

Tom grinned “Just try and stop her! That's a wonderful idea Lesley, Jenny would have been so proud. Did you know she has a young brother now, six months old, and guess what – they called him Tom.”

I smiled back. “That's wonderful Tom, I didn't know you had a grandson too. I must be slipping. I hear Danielle's seven now – how time flies.”

For a moment a shadow passed over Tom's face. “I remember when she was born. Jenny insisted she would hold her granddaughter and she did. What a fighter she was.”

'Just like you my old friend,' I thought but I did not say it. 'Ellen was right. I believe you'll hang on until you walk me down the aisle.'

I smiled at him and touched his hand gently, gnarled from all those years of hard work but warm and comforting. Tom grasped my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I'll ring Angela and ask her tomorrow,” Tom said. “I'm sure she'll say yes.”

“Please tell her that she and Brad are invited of course, and ask her to chose a pretty dress for Danielle and I'll reimburse her the cost. She'll want to know what colour I'm wearing, so tell her I'm looking at cream silk.”

I suddenly stopped, looking at the confusion on Tom's face and started to laugh. “Maybe I'd better write it down or tell Ellen. What do you think?”

He laughed in turn. “Yes I think you'd better tell Ellen – I'm not too flash on women's fashions.”

As if on cue, Ellen appeared at the door and asked if we'd like a cup of tea.

“Yes please,” we said in unison.

“I'll come and help you,” I said, getting up.

In the kitchen I confirmed with Ellen that Tom had said 'yes' to both my suggestions and described what I was proposing for my wedding dress.

“It's entirely up to Angela what dress she buys for Danielle, but I know flower girls are often dressed in a similar colour to the bride.”

“It's going to be a lovely occasion,” said Ellen. “Don't you worry about Tom. Come Hell or high water, he'll be there.”

We carried out the tea and scones to the garden and sat there contentedly chatting. I told them about the birthday dinner and how James now had his Landrover back again.

“He's lucky to be getting a wife like you,” said Tom.

“I think I'm the lucky one,” I replied. “First John and now James – how lucky can a woman be?”

I truly believe that.

Hey is quite a good country town, but in the area of 'haut couture' it is a bit lacking. I'm joking of course, but I did know that if I wanted to find a dress for myself and my two attendants at our wedding, a trip to Brisbane was required. I contacted Melissa to find out which Saturday she would be free and then checked with Jack's wife Mary. Fortunately they were both able to make this past Saturday, as time is not on my side, so we arranged for it to be a 'girls' weekend' .

Mary and I flew down early Saturday morning and Melissa drove out to Archerfield to pick us up. That saved some time in itself. I had absolutely no qualms about Mary meeting Melissa who is now as far as anyone can see an extremely attractive young lady. I had explained to Mary that her partner John was a distant relative, and that sufficed. Melissa had of course been told of the supposed 'relationship' in advance.

We started off with coffee in a city café while we decided on our plans. I had told them both that I would really like them to chose dresses which they could wear on occasions other than my wedding day, and that I had in mind to find something in cream silk for myself. Then followed a wonderful day of shopping where we visited probably every boutique in town, stopping only for a light lunch and to rest our feet.

In the end I settled for a classic ivory silk gown with a straight silhouette design and delicate detailing around the waistline. Mary and Melissa chose dresses of slightly differing designs in subtle shades of pink both of which complimented my dress perfectly. When we lined up in front of the mirror I thought we looked really classy! Need I say that we found all three dresses at the first boutique we visited, but in order to make sure there was nothing better elsewhere, we visited at least half a dozen other establishments before returning to the first one, satisfied that it had what we wanted.

The next thing was to buy matching shoes, and another happy couple of hours was spent trawling through several shoe shops, but we finally all found the perfect shoes to complement our dresses.

Finally we went to a lingerie boutique and I indulged myself by buying an exquisite set of French underwear from Coquette in white, with stockings of course. The girls asked me to model it and blushing (as usual) I declined. They assured me that James will be bowled over when he sees me wearing it. I hope they are right!

To complete the day, Melissa and John had invited us back to their place for dinner, and after a very enjoyable evening, Mary and I took a taxi back to the hotel. I had offered to book Mary her own room, but she insisted that we should not waste money and instead we had a room with two single beds. She was even more certain she had made the right decision when she saw the price of her dress, despite me trying to keep the tag away from her. After all, despite John and I being as good as married, this was my first actual wedding, so I wanted it to be truly memorable. Shopping can really be exhausting, so sleep was not long in coming once we went to bed.

The following morning we called at Angela's house to see the dress she had purchased for Danielle who was bouncing with excitement at the thought of taking part in her first wedding. We were also introduced to young Tom who is a gorgeous baby. He chuckled and gurgled when he saw us, and of course we all had to hold him. It's crazy I know, but it's times like those that I wish so much that I could have had a baby of my own. Still we can't have everything we want in life, and I have been so lucky that I mustn't be greedy.

Angela had chosen a pretty dress for Danielle, which turned out to be more ivory than cream and so goes perfectly with my revised choice of wedding dress colour. I have not seen Danielle since she was a week old, and they brought her out to Hey so that Jenny her dying grandmother could meet her. She has developed into a really pretty little girl, so well-mannered and I'm sure she will be a perfect addition to the wedding party. I have been to weddings where flower girls and page boys have just about wrecked the ceremony by misbehaving, but Danielle is very mature for her age and I'm sure she will be fine. Angela is aware of her father's health issues so she intends to stay for a while with him while Brad will go back to Brisbane to work.

After that it was back to Archerfield to pick up the Cessna and fly back home after a great weekend.

I visited Tom and Ellen today, just two days after returning from Brisbane. I thought Tom looked a little better. He certainly brightened up when I gave him prints of some photos of Angela and his two grandchildren which I had taken on my visit.

Tom had something else on his mind too.

“I've been thinking about my old mail truck 'Sheila' that's sitting next to the garage with a tarp over it,” he said. “You remember that old film 'Back of Beyond' about Tom Kruse who delivered mail along the Birdsville Track?”

“Indeed I do,” I replied. “They showed it here in the church hall some years back.”

“Well I'm not famous like him. No-one made a film about me, but I did much the same sort of thing in old 'Sheila'. I was thinking it would be great if we had a little museum in Hey to record the history of all that's happened here and how the town has grown. Maybe 'Sheila' could be one of the exhibits”

“That's a great idea, Tom,” I replied. “By the way, you're wrong about not being in a film. Have you forgotten that years ago I went out with you and shot some 16mm film on John's movie camera as you delivered mail?”

“Why so you did, Lesley. I'd forgotten all about that.”

“I'd love to show it to you again, but that projector is so darn heavy to lug around. Maybe I could get James to bring it down. Another thought is that I could get a video copy made of it in Brisbane, and if we had a museum it could be shown there too.”

Tom was looking really animated now. “Do you think it's a 'goer' Lesley?”

“Yes Tom. I promise you it will be at the top of my list of priorities once I get this wedding over with.”

He smiled at me. “Bless you Lesley,” he said. “You're one in a million.”

Maybe it sounds like boasting to record a remark like that, but it makes me so proud that someone like Tom thinks that of me. I'm going to make that museum happen, and Tom's name will be there too. I just hope he lives to see it, but to be honest that may not happen.

To be continued

Image credit: Australian cattle station by Harris Walker reproduced under Creative Commons license with attribution.